HIM Marriage Conference 2023: Cold outside but warm inside (mostly)

 HIM Marriage Conference 2023: Cold outside but warm inside (mostly)

As the “tropospheric polar vortex” descended on New England February 3-–5, 2023, resulting in single digit below 0 temps on the mercury and up to -30 with the wind chill, just under 400 determined souls invaded the Newport Island Harbor Resort (formerly Guerney’s Resort) on Goat Island in Newport, Rhode Island, for the HIM annual marriage conference.

Besides some relatively minor inconveniences (which I’ll talk about later), the weekend was an off-the-charts success and we have nothing but praise to Jesus for being so very present in every aspect of the conference.

2023: Off and Running

January 2023 entered with a rush to finish preparations to “make a proper fuss” for Lisa’s 40th birthday. Though truthfully it seems impossible to now have two daughters in their 4th decade, calendars don’t lie so here we are.

And we were off and running!

It was truly such a joy to finish both a scrapbook and a digital book of affirmation for this beautiful young woman of God we are privileged to parent. Her celebration took place in her Riverside home on January 12th, her “real” birthday, and it was a night full of great food (a yummy Mexican feast mostly prepared by her father and sister Kari) and fellowship among her close community friends. It culminated with genuine affirmation from 35 friends and family whose repetitive tributes confirmed the depth of her character and the positive difference she has made in all of our lives. Each guest brought a flower with which to honor her, speaking a tribute to her expressing the “why” behind the selection. It was a beautiful unforgettable evening of celebrating one of the best humans on the planet.

Beautiful Lisa is well-celebrated at her Big 4-0 party.

Sweet niece Ana and her mama, Kari, present their flowers to Lisa with very moving words.

Lisa’s most faithful fans pulled off the night of celebration, with help from some great friends. The fabulous balloon arch was secured by her dear friends, Jim and Jodi Dickert, and added such a festive touch to the room.

Our dear friend Wendy Turney arranged the growing flower bouquet which was as symbolic as it was beautiful.

Extended Friesen family members who attended the gala included Uncle Wayne and Aunt Carol, Aunt Beth, and cousins Kate, Mark, and Angie.

The dust had barely settled on the party when early the next morning, January 13, we flew to Spokane, WA, to speak for the annual Moses Lake Alliance Church’s marriage retreat held at Camp Spaulding in Newport, WA. We’ve had the honor of partnering with this church for over 16 years and grown to love this group so deeply as we’ve walked through so many highs and lows with them through the years. Following a very painful and unfortunate church split this year, MLAC was joined by the Moses Lake Christian Church for the weekend to “fill the place” and it was indeed full.

And by God’s grace, it was also healing and wonderful.

We were so very thankful to experience the presence of God in some very tangible ways and to affirm that in spite of the work of the enemy, His work goes on. It was a rich and powerful weekend and we are so grateful for Mark and Sharon Blazer, Phil and Andrea Lawson, and Justin and Marilyn Shuck who “made it happen."

We heard afterwards from a. number of attendees how God had used the marriage evening:

“We are starting to pray with each other for the first time ever using the method of Wife prays on even and husband prays on odd days.”


”My husband is taking the time to pray with me and talking to me intentionally. He has never done that. He even bought a book that we are planning to read together.”



”I loved when the Friesens said that my wife/husband is an image bearer of God. This is a fact that I need to remember at all times and live it out.”


”It was so good to get some simple tools to work with in our marriage.”



”My big takeaway was to be more Christlike in my marriage.”

There was a great spirit among the sold-out crowd all weekend and we especially enjoyed getting to know many new couples from the Moses Lake Christian Church.

The retreat community . . . such a celebration of unity in Christ and the goodness of His design for marriage.

And such a joy to be with “old timers” like Duke and Amy Paulson, who are “honorary members” of MLAC as they drive in from Tacoma to fortify their marriage year after year. They were beloved CBS staffers over 25 years ago.

The team that pulled off the retreat: Phil and Andrea Lawson, Mark and Sharon Blazer, and Justin and Marilyn Shuck. They’ve invested many years in this retreat and we love them all so much.

Our travels are always highlighted with some bonuses, and this trip was no exception. Driving from Newport to Moses Lake after the retreat ended, we met up with Ryan and Kaylee Vosbigian for dinner for the six-month marital check-up. It was the first time we’ve seen them since Paul officiated their wedding in late July 2023 and it was so encouraging to hear a very positive update. They are wise, committed Christ-followers and it truly was a joy to catch up with them.

We also met up with Tori Copley, whose parents Kent and Staci invited us years ago to partner with MLAC’s marriage and family ministry while Kent served on MLAC staff. Tori is also a wise-beyond-her-years young woman of God and we delighted in spending time with her.

Ryan and Kaylee Vosbigian are loving marriage six months in!

Tori Copley sets the bar for her generation as she lives surrendered for Christ.

Using the Blazer home as our base, we spent Monday connecting with more dear friends. First stop: Yakima. John and Joy Erb, longtime family campers from Arroyo Grande, CA, relocated to WA just over a year ago and we loved reconnecting with them and taking a peek into their new life in WA. Extra special was having their nephew Ryan and his family also visiting and it was encouraging to update our files on all of these precious friends.

John and Joy Erb with sons Austin, Cameron, and Colton, are joined by nephew Ryan Kitzman and his wife Kirra and baby

On to Kennewick where we reconnected with Scott and Lisa Paulson (yes, Duke’s brother). Scott also served at CBS back in the day and he and Lisa have been in ministry their whole marriage. We hadn’t seen them for ten years and it was so heartening to hear their vision for Kingdom work in their growing church. We love having time with fellow sojourners who are faithfully proclaiming and living the gospel.

We had a wonderful visit with Scott and Lisa Paulson with three of their four children.

Back to Moses Lake for a two-night “Marriage Seminar” hosted by the Moses Lake Ministerial Association. Thirteen churches in the MLMA worked together to make this back-to-back night event happen and it truly was a reflection of the unity we have in Christ. Over 300 adults attended this first time production and it was truly a sacred time. Worship was led energetically and beautifully by a team comprised of musicians from four of the churches. Several pastors, including John Roberts from the Moses Lake Christian Church and Eric Frey from the Moses Lake Presbyterian Church, emceed the evening.

It was so much more than the planners were expecting.

All praise is His.

The combined worship teams from four churches launched the evening with powerful worship.

We were so moved by the engaged, responsive crowd.

Pastors John Roberts (ML Christian Church) and Eric Frey (ML Presbyterian Church, which hosted the event) worked hard to make this a significant event.

Mark and Sharon Blazer were the consummate hosts in addition to providing leadership for both the retreat and the marriage seminar.

After a week in WA, as we flew to CA, we had time to reflect on the glory of God as seen both through His people, but also through His creation. How blessed we are.

We were treated with a clear day for flying from WA to CA and were mesmerized by the beauty of Mt. Hood.

We left the cold behind and after landing in Oakland and having a very brief visit with the Garcias, we continued south to San Luis Obispo for our next conference. Along the drive, we were so happy to drop in on more dear friends, Mary and Daniel Phillips and their two children, as well as Mary’s parents, Dave and Debbie Hazlebeck. The Philips have recently relocated from San Diego to Atascadero and we loved seeing their newly established life in this beautiful area. Their warm hospitality was such a welcomed break in the midst of this long day of travel as they both fed us and delayed bedtime so we could enjoy their sweet family. A perfect “pit stop."

Driving from Oakland to San Luis Obispo, God “painted the sky” with breathtaking beauty.

Partnering with Tim Theule and Grace Church Central Coast, we spent the next three days in a place that holds many sweet memories and hosts many dear friends. Our youngest daughter Julie spent five years in this “Jewel of the Central Coast” town while attending Cal Poly, and Lisa lived with her while working at Mission Prep HS. Julie is actually the one who recommended that we invite Tim Theule to be a family camp speaker—which we did—and that began an almost two decades friendship and professional relationship with Tim and his wife Susie.

It’s always a great honor to work with Tim and his team and this was no exception. They did a masterful job of “covering the bases” during our three days of ministry.

Friday night kicked off this marriage and family weekend with an evening focused on marriage. For the “early birds” there was dinner, and for all there was dessert between the two talks. Well over 300 attended the Friday night event and significantly, quite a few fell in the “young marrieds” category.

Much to our delight, several couples attending were once little kids growing up at family camp. There are no words to describe how deep our joy is to see these “kids” all grown up, following Jesus, and happily married.

That’s kind of a big deal.

All praise is His.

Tim Theule welcomes the crowd on Friday night and sets the stage for our two talks on marriage.

The sanctuary held a “beyond critical mass” group of over 300 for the Friday night evening.

Erik and Caely Anderson and Austin and Haylee Sonnier attended their first marriage conference with us and admitted, “This is different!” All previous interaction with them had been as family campers or family camp staffers. It was so joyous for us to have a few moments with them after speaking.

Saturday morning another very large group of mostly young parents gathered for a parenting seminar. They were so eager, responsive, and clearly intentional about wanting to be coached in Christian parenting. “The best things you can do for your children is love Jesus, live the gospel, put keeping your marriage alive and thriving above your parenting, and PRAY” was our best advice. It was a profitable and hope-giving morning.

An auditorium full of eager parents spent Saturday morning hearing us teach on parenting.

Sunday morning after attending the worship service, we had the privilege of speaking into the lives of the high school and college students on relationships. Though we truly love all that we do, this is our jam. We love to challenge the cultural narrative with Biblical truth regarding this very important, often life-changing subject and found this very large group of students very receptive and thoughtfully interactive. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful weekend of ministry.

Sunday morning we were privileged to speak on relationships to the high school and college students of Grace Central Coast.

The students were very engaged and responsive.

Between the speaking schedule, we managed to walk on the beach all three days we were there and there’s nothing that refreshes our souls more than that.

Beach therapy is always good for our souls and our bodies.

We beat feet out of Grace as soon as we were done teaching and thankfully made it to New City Church Oakland in time for their 4 pm service. We are so thankful for the mission, the vision, and the impact this church is making on the people of Oakland who desperately need to know that God loves them. Gabe preached a great sermon (you can check it out at New City Church Oakland’s YouTube channel) and the worship, as always, was uplifting.

The exclamation point on the weekend was taking the Grands to In-N-Out Burger after church.

What’s not to love about In-N-Out??

And then we flew home. One of the very rare snow storms of this winter waited for our return and it felt like the best homecoming. Sadly it didn’t last long, but it was beautiful while it lasted.

Our dear friend Helen arrived the day after we returned and it’s always good to have Helen in the house. She brings much laughter and a true servant’s heart, pitching in wherever needed.

On Friday night, Jan. 27, she managed our book table at the Arabic Evangelical Baptist Church as we spoke on marriage to launch their four month “Adam and Eve” series. We’ve partnered with this church many times over the past 10 years and loved being back with them. It was an energetic evening with a larger than expected crowd (just under 100) of couples wanting to build in to their marriages. A great night indeed!!

Helen pitches in wherever needed. This night, she “ran” the book table. She is gold.

The very attentive audience at the Arabic Egyptian Baptist Church’s marriage night.

The planning committee for the evening.

Pastor Khaled Ghobari has led this congregation well for many years and we appreciate him greatly.

So yes, this year has gotten off to a fast start and we’re so thankful for these many opportunities to be off and running, fulfilling His purposes.

All praise is His.

We are so blessed.

Plan Fail: The Christmas Reunion That Wasn't

Plan Fail: The Christmas Reunion That Wasn't

We were home the WHOLE month of December and it was good.

We continued walking five miles a day, praying for snow, and preparing for our family Christmas reunion: the first one in New England since 2015 and the first all being together for Christmas since 2019.

We had very high expectations.

Ministry events in December included Engagement Matters, the Patriots women’s study, and LOTS of counseling, but that left plenty of time for decorating the house inside and out, getting together with friends, wrapping and sending packages, sewing Christmas jammies, making gingerbread houses, and preparing for our long-awaited reunion which was to commence the 22nd of December.

The Light of the World

The Light of the World

Home sweet home after five weeks of travel, which took us from Massachusetts to California to Hawaii to California to Massachusetts.

We returned this week to a house adorned with fall decor and with calendars turned to the month of October, reminding us that we’ve been gone a long time! After flying to Northern California on Oct. 25 and spending five days with Windsor Christian Church speaking at a myriad of events, we landed in Kona on Halloween and began a three-week partnership with Living Stones Church, fulfilling our twice-a-year commitment to spend 2–3 weeks on the island with this church, counseling and speaking.

All Things Fall

All Things Fall

What’s not to love about a New England fall? We’ve been mesmerized by the most incredible parade of exquisite, show-stopping color over the past four weeks and I have about 500 photos to prove it. :) Leaves crunching underfoot have provided the soundtrack for an ever-changing treescape donned in reds, oranges, salmon, and yellows. It’s been spectacular.

Beyond exhilarating.

Autumn is heavily weighted with some of the most delightful activities, events, tastes, and sights of the year. Apple picking. Apple cider. Apple cider doughnuts. Apple pies. Cranberry harvest. Pumpkins. Pumpkins. And more pumpkins. Football. Visits from friends who are lured by leaf peeping promises. Crisp air. Falling temps. Harvest fairs.

Beautiful Places, Beautiful People: Part 2


Beautiful Places, Beautiful People: Part 2


2022 is sort of “2020 + 2”…

It seems that a lot is happening this year that was “supposed” to happen in 2020, but which hit the “editing” floor due to Covid.

That is true for a number of events for us which have happened this past month…starting with a “girls’ trip” to Ireland. Planned and executed by my dear friend Stephanie, our March 13-21, 2020 scheduled tour of the Emerald Isle was the first major trip to fall to the lockdown axe, and though the disappointment was real, the delight of the trip happening this Aug 6-14 was even more real.

Beautiful Places, Beautiful People: Part 1

Beautiful Places, Beautiful People:  Part 1

It’s good to be home after just under 4 weeks “on the road, in the sky, from sea to shining sea.” Blessed beyond with so many beautiful places and beautiful people, my words and photos will only begin to convey how soul-refreshing these four weeks have been.

This journey began on July 20, when we flew to California a few days early for our week of speaking at Forest Home’s Family Camp. While enjoying the delightful hospitality of our dear friend Wendy Turney, we were able to spend time with some treasured mentors and friends.

July Starts With a Bang!

July Starts With a Bang!

Happy 4th of July week!! As we celebrate the birthday of our country, we are especially thankful for the freedoms we have but so often take for granted. Even with her noticeable flaws (since after all, all countries are inhabited by sinful people!), America continues to grant us rights that many don’t have. Let’s celebrate the good and be part of the solution for the bad.

Welcome July with a bang!!

Mexico Sandwich

Mexico Sandwich

Hello, June!

Today we are flying to Mexico to speak for two YWAM bases for the next week, one in Tijuana and the other in Ensenada. After spending two weeks at Rancho Abierto, the YWAM base in “Nowhere, Mexico” followed by five days in California, we returned home for (almost) two very full weeks and are thrilled to be returning to Mexico for another week of teaching and counseling. Hence the two sides of the Mexican sandwich.

Hola y adiós!

Hola y adiós!

Hola!!

Buenas días desde México!! I write today, on Mother’s Day, from a little plumbing-less cabin in Rancho Abierto, the YWAM Family DTS base in “Nowhere, Mexico.” Obviously, we are somewhere—somewhere where God is doing a great work—but this little base has no town name attached to it, hence, “Nowhere.” This is our second year in a row speaking here and since we’re here for two weeks this time, I’m finding “down time” on this Sabbath to log an update on our crazy good life, privileged to proclaim the hope of the gospel as seen in marriage and family.

Island Life

Island Life

The past 7 weeks in numbers:

47 days on the road

35 degrees - lowest temp

85 degrees - highest temp

345 miles walked/hiked

18,000 air miles flown

25 talks given

50 hours of counseling


We’ve just returned from almost seven weeks on the road (or in the air) and were welcomed home by a large stack of (mostly) recyclable mail, temps that were 55 degrees lower than the average of the past weeks, and leafless trees and brown earth.

It was very apparent we weren’t in Hawaii anymore.

Refreshed!

Refreshed!

In an incredible stroke of good fortune, we were home for The Blizzard of 2022.

Obviously not everyone shares our view of seeing this as a good thing, but for these Californian bred kids, snow is still a joy-bringer. #truth

So we took advantage of it between counseling appointments and preparations for the HIM Marriage Conference, which followed the blizzard weekend. Snow tubing while school was in session gave us access to a “no-lines” hill and we maximized the potential. It never gets old . . . at least, not yet. I also squeezed in a couple of cross country skiing adventures, made easily possible by our proximity to conservation land which abuts our property. No driving necessary. Blessed by perfect conditions, the stillness and serenity of skiing through silent fields of white was soul-refreshing.

Around the Country in 22 Days

Around the Country in 22 Days

Since my last post on Dec. 27, we’ve only been home eight days.

Maybe that contributes to me forgetting that when I last wrote, my reflections ended with Engagement Matters (EM), which was held Dec. 4–5, and not after Christmas, which the blog post date would indicate.
Whatever the reasons, before I write about our most recent last three weeks—which literally took us to the four corners of our great nation—we must finish December. Strangely, that seems SO long ago already. But what fun to sift back through my December photo library and have many sweet memories surface.

From Sea to Shining Sea

From Sea to Shining Sea

It wasn’t beginning to look like Christmas back when this photo was snapped on October 28! In fact, at that point, it seemed like Christmas was a VERY long way off.

And here we are. Christmas was here. And now it’s in our rear view mirror.

We’re continually being confronted with the reality that the older we get, the faster time goes.

Here, There, and Everywhere

Here, There, and Everywhere

In the past two months, we have made six trips to California, two to Maryland, one to Virginia, one to Pennsylvania, one to Tennessee, and one to Georgia. Of the 23 days we slept in our own bed (out of the past 62 days), we have had seven sets of houseguests, many full days of counseling, spoken at four weekend conferences, celebrated two God-honoring weddings, walked about 400 miles, gone apple picking and leaf peeping, bought and processed our annual supply of fresh raspberries for jam making, and been with all of our children and grandchildren at various points along the way.

Peace in the Chaos

Peace in the Chaos

Peace seems quite elusive as days turn into weeks, months, and almost two years of our pandemic ridden world. Contradictory beliefs, reports, statistics, advice, protocols, and professional voices undermine our confidence, elevate our fears, and divide our communities. “Unprecedented” is overused, leaving all of us wondering if we’ll ever resume our “precedented” life being unmasked, without having hand sanitizer as "standard operating elixir", and standing physically close to one another.

Celebrating Summer!!

Celebrating Summer!!

You can feel it in the air. It’s palpable when you’re in the mix of people, outdoors, interacting. At the beach. In parks. At celebrations.

Our God-designed, image-bearing, relational selves are reawakening after a long draught of imposed isolation and it is enlivening. Literally. Statistically, this past year-and-a-half has taken a toll on us far beyond the scope of the virus itself. In fact, the collateral damage seemingly far outpaces the Covid damage, when mental health, relational breakdowns, abuses of all kinds (from spousal and child abuse to substances and addictions), financial ruin, academic setbacks, emerging addictions related to technology, etc., are tallied.

Prayerfully, the worst is behind us and we can begin rebuilding with hopefully more wisdom and awareness of what really counts.

A Bit of Heaven on Earth

A Bit of Heaven on Earth

It happened.

The “decades birthday-family reunion” celebration, postponed for a full year, is now in the books, but even more deeply, in our hearts.

It was uncertain until an hour before the six flying from Oakland were to depart due to two lost Covid tests, but mercifully, new tests were done at 6 am, the results of which were registered less than 60 minutes prior to boarding.

The trip was on.

Adios and Aloha

Adios and Aloha

Following swiftly on the heels of the one-year anniversary of my mama’s death, we held our second virtual Engagement Matters.

Because engagement matters.

As much as we resisted this the idea of doing an online version of this seminal weekend, the silver lining became evident quickly: it was attended by people in Egypt, the UK, Norway, Iceland, NY, PA, OH, NC, CA, and MA. We’re pretty sure all of them wouldn’t have been able to attend in person. 😀