Following swiftly on the heels of the one-year anniversary of my mama’s death, we held our second virtual Engagement Matters.
Because engagement matters.
As much as we resisted this the idea of doing an online version of this seminal weekend, the silver lining became evident quickly: it was attended by people in Egypt, the UK, Norway, Iceland, NY, PA, OH, NC, CA, and MA. We’re pretty sure all of them wouldn’t have been able to attend in person. :)
Though the medium left something to be desired, we are truly grateful for a very fruitful weekend. Gabby and Rob Warren handled the cyber-logistics with competence, Ryan and Kelly Plosker presented their “Top 10 Tips” seminar to a very engaged audience, Rob Warren gave wisdom on Biblical principles governing finances, and Paul and I did the five main plenary sessions. The feedback on the program overall has been very, very positive.
One attendee wrote in:
“I really am very satisfied with the whole experience and with the content of the workshop. So actually I do not really know what could be better. I have learned so much and everybody explains their subjects really clearly and extensively. It is very clear that you guys have done this a lot of times.”
Another wrote:
“I really enjoyed and appreciated how authentic and real the hosts were. It makes it so much easier to learn and relate to someone who is raw and doesn’t try to put on a front!! I will recommend this class to all of my peers going forward who are considering engagement and marriage.”
Especially gratifying to us was that four couples who attended were “raised” attending family camps, two from CBS and two from Berea. It’s such a joy for us to see these “kids” we’ve known since their young childhood “all grown up” and pursuing Christlikeness in life and marriage. All praise is His!
It’s a different world! Though virtual conferences fall short of providing the life-on-life, rubbing-shoulders experience, as my mama would say, “It’s better than a kick in the head!"
We always take a group photo of our conference attendees. This is the best we could do!
Four days later we were on a flight to San Diego to begin a nine-day ministry tour in Mexico. Since I grew up in Chula Vista, just north of the Mexican border, I felt like I was coming home, sort of. It’s been years since I crossed that border into Mexico and a lot has changed since then.
We spent the first weekend in Ensenada at the Youth With A Mission (YWAM) base, directed by Tym and Samantha Kemp. This UK couple has served for the past 14 years at this base, developing it extensively into a major YWAM training center. We thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them and hear their visionary plans for continuing the development.
A get-to-know-you dinner with Tym and Samantha Kemp our first night in Ensenada, at which both the food and the company were delightful.
They hosted a marriage conference for YWAM staff from both the Tijuana and Ensenada bases all day Saturday, April 24. We love opportunities to speak into lives of “professional” ministry people as the challenge to maintain the priority of marriage and family is often great. And all would agree that losing either the marriage or the family because of misplaced priorities or lack of accountability and healthy boundaries would be tragic, and yet that is the fate of all too many ministry families. We had stimulating interaction with those in attendance, even as we spoke through a translator, and received encouraging feedback on the impact of the conference.
Two of the Spanish-speaking-only couples who attended the marriage conference in Ensenada.
Most of the attendees of the all-Saturday conference are pictured here. We thoroughly enjoyed spending the day with them.
April 24 is a very special day in our history, and on this day in 2021, we celebrated our 45th anniversary. It’s really not “new” for us to spend our anniversary doing what we love most: teaching together on marriage. On our 39th, we were speaking at the Mt. Hermon Christian Conference Center's Marriage Conference. Our 40th was spent in Trinidad with Ashoke and Stephanie Bachew and Javed and Jen Bachew, doing a marriage conference. Our 42nd found us in Beirut, Lebanon, which is when we discovered that our anniversary shares the day commemorating the Armenian Genocide. On our 43rd, we were in California speaking at a private marriage conference.
We do make a proper fuss celebrating this Very Important Day—on a different date—in case you’re wondering.
And even on that day in Ensenada, we started and ended the day with a walk on the beach, which is on the short list of things we love to do. And Stephanie, on YWAM staff, brought a beautiful plate of desserts to our room to add to the celebration.
The sun sets on our 45th anniversary, on the beach in Ensenada, Mexico. A beautiful ending to a great day.
Sunday morning, the 25th, we were off to Rancho Abierto, a brand-new YWAM base, kind of in the middle of nowhere. Rather than the name of a town, we were given longitudinal and latitude coordinates for its location. Fortunately we didn’t have to navigate our way there! Brian and Sue McCoy, friends for almost a quarter of a century, are the founders and directors of this remote base, and they picked us up in Ensenada to transport us.
Words really can’t capture how thrilling it was for us to arrive at Rancho Abierto and see the fruition of the McCoys’ vision and investment. The McCoys’ radical commitment to living “all in” for Jesus was cultivated in their early years of family camp back in the late 90’s and we’ve been journeying with them ever since, watching them “go to the ends of the earth” to proclaim the gospel. From Mexico, to China, to India, to Kona, and back to Mexico, they have obediently followed His call. Launching their first Family Discipleship Training School (FDTS) was the fulfillment of years of dreaming, planning, and hard work. It was such a privilege to spend one week of their eleven-week program with them, teaching on family, marriage, and ministry.
The families represented many countries: Canada, Germany, Austria, Alaska, Mexico, Panama, Costa Rica, and the USA, and the diversity of cultures and background added so much depth to the community. We loved getting to know each of these families/couples in this isolated context, free of the normal distractions of life “on the grid.” (We were most definitely off the grid!)
It was very reminiscent of our early days at Campus by the Sea (CBS), as we developed that very rustic camp into a not-as-rustic camp. :) Rancho Abierto carries the CBS DNA, as that was the place God did His greatest works of transformation in Sue and Brian’s lives. Simple cabins without plumbing (but with electricity). A common bathhouse. Family-style dining. Opportunity to Serve (aka OTS). Memory verse recitation before meals. All Family Game Night. Children’s devotions. Simple meals.
We loved every minute of the teaching times, the interacting with families over meals and in between, of seeing the generations together praising the Lord through worship, learning together through teaching, and playing/praying together throughout the days. Especially meaningful to us was having as part of the FDTS Tyler and Anna Sabicer, longtime CBS friends, as well as Luke and Shelby (McCoy) O'Bannon. Both couples were reminders of God’s faithfulness throughout the decades.
We also discovered that we’re not as young as we used to be and that traipsing across camp to use the restroom in the middle of the night was not as easy as it used to be. Small price to pay for a rich and wonderful week!
The week culminated with a “banquet,” beautifully set outside under the unfinished “Ohana” gathering place. The night was filled with delicious food, amicable conversations, and a hilarious rendition of the "Newlywed Game.” Fortunately Paul and I got 7 out of 8 answers right, hopefully underscoring the benefits of being “oldlyweds.”
It was a fitting end to a very special week. “A proper fuss” was made, celebrating God’s goodness and favor in bringing this very diverse group together in this very special place for His very specific purposes. All praise is His!!
Our daily afternoon hike took us down the dirt road to the turn-off sign for Rancho Abierto.
Brian and Sue McCoy, the founders and directors of Rancho Abierto, “standing on His promises."
The “Way of the Cross” at Rancho Abierto is a smaller scale version of “The Way of the Cross” at CBS.
A new generation of littles learn “The Butterfly Song” at Rancho Abierto.
Game Night: men vs women . . . Fun was truly had by all!!
“Carry the mini-marshmallows with a straw” was wildly competitive.
“Face the Cookie” was the grand finale and it secured the win for the ladies.
Don’t know where these two jokers dropped in from, but they seemed to know what they were doing.
All dressed up for the banquet . . .
. . . which truly was enjoyed by all.
The FDTS couples, sans children (14 of whom were being entertained and cared for by a wonderful team).
Another highlight for me of spending these 9 days in Mexico was being immersed in Spanish once again. Little known fact: I was a Spanish major and spent a summer in Guadalajara studying during college. I love to speak the language and never pass up a chance to converse, but opportunities don’t present themselves in New England too often. I was amazed by how much “came back” during these days, which whetted my appetite to continue re-learning this beautiful language.
Our time came to an end on Saturday, May 1, and after saying a warm “adios," the McCoys drove us the 3.5 hours to the US/Mexico border, where Lisa picked us up and whisked us to her home in Riverside for a few days of R&R before flying home.
Our adventure with her included walking on Coronado Beach before departing San Diego, hiking Mt. Rubideau at sunset, going to church-on-the-lawn with her, and helping with a few projects around her house. Hanging with Lisa is always life-giving and we were so grateful for those two days.
No time in San Diego is complete without a walk on the Coronado Beach.
A sunset hike up Mt. Rubideau is a perfect ending to any day.
We flew home Tuesday, May 4, in time to spend two full days counseling before leaving again. Fortunately we were able to squeeze in a visit during our dinner hour with Averee Fields, a dear friend we met in 2017 when we went to Israel with FCA. We formed a deep bond with Averee on that trip and though we’ve kept in touch electronically, this was the first time we’d seen her since July 2017. We had a very happy, too-brief reunion, but all agreed to not let four more years go by before we meet up again.
Averee Fields, from Columbus, OH, met up with us for a quick dinner during her visit to Boston.
After those two full days at home, we packed up our bags and drove to Fairfax, VA, to speak at the Immanuel Bible Church (IBC) “Marriage Strong” conference. This has been a long time coming. Fifteen years ago, then senior pastor Michael Easley invited us to do a pastors/elders conference for the church but before it happened, Michael accepted a call to leave IBC and hence the conference was canceled. There have been a variety of conversations about doing the conference through the years, which culminated in a date being set for the fall of 2020, and we all know why that was canceled. So we were exceedingly happy that the conference was rescheduled and finally happened.
It was worth waiting for.
Tom Joyce, pastor of discipleship at IBC, hosted this Friday night/Saturday morning event, which drew a crowd of about 200. He “booked” the IBC “Pastor’s Band” to lead worship, which they did so well. Their blue-grass-inspired renditions of traditional hymns was enjoyed by all.
The attendees ranged from young marrieds (4 months was the “youngest” marriage) to 59 years (the longest marriage), which was so encouraging! One sweet, seasoned couple told us as they left, “We wish we had heard this years ago!”
We had many interactions with numerous couples. A few had come as a “last ditch effort” to save their marriage and left with a degree of hope. Others felt it was just the “shot in the arm” their marriage needed after this very difficult year. Some felt they received tools and inspiration for growing in Christlikeness in their marriage.
One unexpected blessing of the weekend was reconnecting with a couple Paul had married 22 years ago while on staff at Grace Chapel. We hadn’t seen David and Stephanie Meeker since then until Friday night and it was a joyous reunion. Their story was so inspiring, as they shared how they became a family of 8. We all agreed we’d like to see each other again long before another 22 years pass.
The Immanuel Bible Church “Marriage Strong” conference was highly successful.
The IBC “Pastor’s Band” led worship for the conference and did a great job.
The biggest surprise of the weekend was reconnecting with David and Stephanie Meeker, whom Paul had married 22 years ago.
Tom was very pleased with the turn-out for this first-in-a-long-time marriage conference.
Lunch debrief post-conference with Tom and Deshua Joyce and David and Laura Leach (my sister and brother-in-law, also part of the Pastor’s Band).
The next few days were spent with these two cuties, which was a great way to unwind from the crazy two-and-a-half weeks preceding. We walked the dog, went to Nathan’s baseball games, celebrated Mother’s Day, and packed for KAUAI!!
Spending time with the grandchildren is always a joy.
A girl and her dog . . .
Nathan (catcher) is playing his first season of baseball and loving it so far.
Yes, we’re on the way to Kauai. Originally planned for May 2020 to celebrate the decade birthdays of Paul’s 70th, Kari’s 40th, and Brandon’s 10th, it has been rescheduled four times since . . . and we’re all pinching ourselves that it’s actually happening. With as uncertain as everything seems to be these days, we held lightly this coming off, knowing that all 12 of us had to have negative Covid tests within 72 hours of departure. We went to bed last night with 10 of 12 negative test reports in, but only found out this morning that the remaining two had been “lost.” By God’s grace, the two with errant tests were able to get rapid tests at 6 am and thankfully that completed the circle. So we’re on our way, with the whole family anticipating a magical time on this beautiful island. After the “official” reunion ends on the 20th, Paul and I will stay on to speak at the Kalaheo Missionary Church that weekend, doing a parenting conference on Saturday the 22nd and teaching at church on Sunday the 23rd. Paul will also film a seminar, “Lovin’ Your Wife Like Christ When You Ain’t No Jesus” to be aired in the June Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conference. He’s thankful he’ll be able to present it in front of a live audience. We’ll return to the mainland on the 24th.
So, it’s aloha for now!! Praying that God is meeting you as you sort out the effects of this crazy year and trusting that He is greater than whatever challenges you are facing.
