Three Days in Paradise

The amazing days in Oahu with the PWOC women continued to linger, but I was overjoyed to return to the Big Island to spend several days with Paul relaxing and exploring this incredible place.  We had a blast discovering new-to-us territories, starting on Monday morning when we drove up to the north point of the island and worked our way down the east coast.  Rugged beauty along that coastline being fashioned by churning, powerful tides and waves filled us with awe at Creator God.  We drove down into Laupahoehoe, where in 1946 a tsunami swept away a play yard full of 21 school children and 3 adults.  The newspaper articles said that had the wave come 15 minutes later, the children would've been in their classroom, which was relatively unscathed by the tsunami.  Since the 2011 March 12 tsunami was very present in our minds, it was a bit eerie to be in a place linked by similar tragedy, so we didn't stay long.  But long enough to have our respect deepened for the power of God as seen in the sea.

Since the east coast of the Big Island is known for waterfalls, and because Paul is a waterfall lover, we visited as many as we could.  :)  All of them were voluminous and gorgeous.  Akaka Falls, Rainbow Falls, Pe'ePe'e Falls, and Wai'ale Falls—we visited them all and were duly impressed with their majesty.  Our hopes to swim in the pools that feed Wai'ale Falls were dashed when we noted how full and raging the flow was in and out of the falls, so wisdom overruled and we settled for taking photos.  After poking around Hilo and admiring their flowers and fresh produce, we continued down the coast to "Champagne Pond"—a natural thermal-fed pool with crystal clear, warmish water.  Lovely.  We drove back at nightfall along the Saddle Road and witnessed a spectacular sunset far from the coastline.  What a great day.

Akaka Falls were gorgeous.

At Wai'ale Falls, we had hoped to swim in the pools above the falls, but didn't want to risk experiencing the falls personally, so we passed.  Lots of rushing water at the top!

At Champagne Pond, we were mesmerized by the clarity of the water,  revealing multi colored lava rock which formed the "pool" bottom.

Tuesday, March 22, we headed south, stopping first at Kealakekua Bay to scout for porpoises, whales, turtles, or anything else marine.  What we saw first, sadly, was the tsunami wreckage of several coves along this coastline.  Thankfully, the evacuation was effective in preserving human life, but some parts of this island were hit pretty hard.  Reconstruction was underway and those who live here acknowledge that it is part of life for coastline dwellers and businesses to take the occasional "bad" with the incredible "good" of living in such places.

Tsunami devastation in this little village by Kealakekua Bay was sobering to see.

We drove on to Honaunau (aka "The City of Refuge"), where we snorkeled at Two Step Beach and saw many turtles and beautifully colorful fish.  The underwater world is breathtakingly beautiful and it was hard to pull away from, but parts south beckoned us, so on we drove.  Our next stop was Honomalino Beach, which we had visited in 2003 when our whole family made our first visit to this wonderfully diverse island.  It is accessible only by starting at Miloli'i Beach Park, but was well worth the 25-minute trek to experience this out of the way, gorgeous black and white sand beach lined with a backdrop of coconut palms.  Arriving at Honomalino this year, we were not prepared for the complete destruction of this once beautiful place, which didn't really survive the forces of the tsunami.  The coconut palms were broken like toothpicks and the beach was all but gone.  The difference was incredible.  We obviously didn't hang out there for long.

The turtle at Honaunau waved at us,  giving us a warm aloha greeting.

The south point of the island is rugged, rugged, rugged.  And "out of the way," so to speak.  But Andrew Doughty's description of the hike to Green Sand Beach in his tour guide Hawaii: The Big Island Revealed  was compelling and Andrew hasn't let us down yet as we've used his guide as a "bible" for exploring the islands....so off we set to experience this unique place.  Following a small road 12 miles off the main road, and then hiking 2.5 miles in stiff headwinds, we finally made it.  These photos don't really capture the fury of the ocean, but let's just say we didn't stay down on the beach long with the incoming tide pounding aggressively on the shore.  It was well worth our efforts.  We were sadly mistaken by the notion that the hike back would be "easy" since the wind would be at our backs.  Rather, it was coming at us sideways, with a relentless sandblasting effect as the stiff wind carried sand on its wings.  What a great adventure - and yes, we'd do it again.  :)

Our first glimpse of Green Sand Beach found at the very southern tip of the Big Island.

Paul got right into it . . . while I took photos and hoped he wouldn't be the victim of a rogue wave.

We caught sunset at Honaunau that night after our south point adventure and it was majestic.  Isn't it interesting that the whole world stops to view a sunset?  It's so very captivating.

Another gorgeous sunset viewed from Honaunau.

Our last day of fun in Hawaii was spent exploring Kohalo Beach area, just north of the Kona airport.  While I was in Oahu, Paul had discovered this beautiful place serendipitously.  He was out driving when he stopped to investigate a bunch of trucks parked at the side of the road.  After noticing a dirt path leading to palm trees in the distance, he was in for the adventure.  He sent me a text message with photo Saturday afternoon while at the women's conference which said, "Don't know where I am, but it's beautiful!"  :)  That's my intuitive perceiver!!

So we returned to the place, having identified it in Doughty's book, and we had a great, great day there.  We walked to "Queen's Bath" - a natural pool lined with lava rocks and filled with crystal clear brackish water.  After a brief dip, we continued walking the coastline and eventually arrived at a lagoon in Kiholo Bay.  Absolutely gorgeous, with aquamarine water and abundant turtles, we could've stayed here for days.  We snorkeled, photographed napping turtles, and relaxed on the lava "shoreline" of the bay.  It really doesn't get much better than this.

Paul enjoys the Queen's Bath in Kiholo Bay.

These sea turtles napped undisturbed in the warm sunshine at Kiholo Bay.

Have you ever seen sea turtles snuggling?  :)

We somewhat reluctantly hiked back to our rental car and returned to our dear friend's condo to clean and pack for our 10:45 p.m. flight that night.  How very, very thankful we were for these idyllic days on this island paradise.  We boarded the plane overflowing with gratitude for three of the best days ever . . . feeling refreshed, renewed, and refueled.

Isn't it amazing how the setting sun changes how everything looks?

To and From Hawaii with Love

When the invitation to speak for a women’s conference in Hawaii came nine months ago, we “knew” it would be God’s will for me to say “yes.”  Isn’t it always His will that we go to Hawaii??

We’ve joked that way each time we’ve been invited to Hawaii, but in all honesty, we do pray for confirmation of His will, even for invitations to what has become our second favorite place in the world.  And we knew that only He could’ve orchestrated this invitation, the back story of which began 25 years ago at Campus by the Sea (our first favorite place in the world).

The invitation came from Stacey Taylor, who 25 years ago was twelve-year-old family camper Stacey Munsey.  She came to CBS with her single mom and her four siblings, as well as several of her aunts and their children, beginning a tradition which is still alive today.  A collection of Munseys, Huitts, Browns, and Cekoriches show up at family camp every summer (missing only a couple of summers when their name never made it to the top of the waiting list).

Through Stacey’s teen years, as she navigated the challenges of a broken home, CBS became a place of refuge and hope.  In her words, she was drawn to the truth of the gospel and wanted desperately to live her life according to that truth, but brokenness in several critical areas hindered the full realization of that desire (a reality all of us share with her).  Even still, she returned—summer after summer—to have her wounds dressed and her hope renewed.

When Stacey invited me, she wrote this:

“Virginia and Paul, I am so blessed that you were a part of my teen years, in a home without a parent-team, without relationship role models, without a true vision and understanding of my worth to our Lord. I will not forget what I did grow up with: a family whose heart craved to know our Lord more.”

She got married in her early twenties and bore her first son.  For many reasons, that marriage failed quickly and she juggled being a single mom with trying to finish college during her mid-twenties.  Though not easy years, she is a survivor, and during this time her faith grew by leaps and bounds.  Through much hard work and perseverance, framed within the grace of God whose love for her was transforming her from the inside out, she managed to get through college and provide stability for her son.  Her every-summer family camp tradition became sporadic physically, but remained constant in her heart.

Stacey was last at CBS six years ago, only a few years into her marriage to Britton Taylor, who serves with the U.S. Navy.  As she landed at CBS that summer with Britton, Caleb, and Kirstyn, her beautiful smile told it all.  She was in a secure marriage with a godly man and together they were committed to raising their children for Him.  I remember being moved by how healthy and happy their little family was; it was obviously the work of God in their lives.

Since then, their assignments have kept them geographically too far from CBS to come back, but they are finishing a 3-year tour in Hawaii this summer and are being relocated to Everett, WA, so their plans are in motion to attend family camp in 2012.

I know that’s a lot of background for this post about the women’s conference, but I am so deeply moved by the Christlikeness of this family, I can’t really stop thinking about them.  Stacey’s journey reflects with unmistakeable clarity the power of God to redeem, to transform, and to accomplish His purposes.  She is an amazing mother to her four children, a loving wife to her husband of almost 9 years, and a faithful mentor to a variety of younger moms God brings across her path.  She is leading ministries that are equipping and encouraging marriages and families with Biblical truth.  And she completed a masters in marriage, family, and child therapy in the last few years.  Wow!

So, when Stacey invited me to speak for the the PWOC retreat (Protestant Women of the Chapel) back in July (while we were doing family camps at CBS), we agreed with her that this was God’s will.

Even so, I had no idea of how deeply I would be blessed and impacted by the time with Stacey and these wonderful women.

From the time Stacey picked me up at the Honolulu airport Thursday afternoon, March 17, until she returned me there Sunday late afternoon, each moment seemed God-breathed.  First stop: her base housing, which allowed me to have a peek at her sweet family, including her husband, her four children, and 9 one-week-old chocolate lab puppies.  Busy household!!

Stacey holds her “baby” Karelyn, and is surrounded by oldest son Caleb, Kirstyn (holding one of the puppies), and Camden.

And then we were off to Mokuleia, a Christian camp located on the west coast of Oahu, right across from Dillingham Field airstrip.  The camp is right on the water, so had we been one week earlier, we would’ve been evacuated for the tsunami.  Thankfully, our only weather excitement came in the form of rain that visited us on and off during the weekend.  At least it was warm rain.

The ladies began gathering Friday afternoon and were welcomed by a warm registration team.  Arriving at their rooms, they were surprised to find  personalized goodie bags and other gifts on their beds.  Stacey and her team didn’t miss anything!  Each woman felt well loved by the time they reached their rooms!  After a great dinner punctuated by a worshipful hula, all gathered in the beautifully decorated meeting room for the start of the conference.  It was very impressive to see the ambience created by some hardworking designers, whose creativity transformed the functional space into a warm, welcoming, “we love you” refuge.

Part of the welcome committee, ready for action, who maintained this coffee/tea station throughout the weekend.

The theme of the first meeting Friday night was “He knows me and still loves me!” based on Psalm 139.  How good it is to be reminded from that psalm that God is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.  That I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, that He knows me fully, that He knows my name, and that His love for me is deeper than I’ll ever fully understand.  It laid a great foundation for the rest of the weekend.  Walking to our cabins under a full moon to go to bed was a perfect ending to a seamless start.

Stacey welcomes everyone and launched the conference Friday evening.

The full moon was an added gift to the weekend.

Saturday dawned before it was bright; the 6 am prayer meeting at the beach beat the sun up, and though it was hard to interrupt sound sleep at that very early hour, it was well worth it.  A surprising number of women joined the circle to intercede for many and it truly was a “sweet hour of prayer” and a fitting start to the day.  The morning session focused on a look at God’s creativity as seen in our differing temperaments, “Fearfully and Wonderfully Wired,” and we had a rollicking good time laughing at the ins and outs of our personalities.  But it was more than fun—it was insightful and equipping as we considered the challenges we face in accepting and validating our differences, especially in our marriages.  There were many “aha!” moments that will hopefully make a difference relationally going forward.

That night, we looked at "Taking the Road Less Travelled—Trail Markers Along the Way,” springboarding off my book Raising a Trailblazer:  Rite of Passage Trail Markers for your Set-Apart Teen (as per request by Stacey).  Knowing that not all of the women had children approaching the teen years (either because they were empty-nesters, not yet moms, or were moms of really young children), I broadened the application of the principles for all.  For instance, the 13th-year rite of passage focuses on the value of purity, but at what age does purity become unimportant?  God calls us to purity our whole life, so I challenged the women to consider their own pursuit of purity in what they read, see, do, how they dress, etc.  I was thankful for a fairly universal application of the heart of the book and was really touched to hear how the talk affected a number of the women.

Besides our main sessions, I loved being available to the women, and they seemed to love my availability.  After meeting with women before and after sessions, I crawled into bed at 1 am both Friday and Saturday nights—rather exhausted, but contentedly so.

Sunday started with rain, so after getting up to my alarm at 5:45 am for prayer meeting, my housemates informed me that the outdoor prayer meeting was cancelled due to rain, so I happily went back to bed for another hour.  I later found out that the devoted prayer warriors met anyway—indoors.  I’m sure they prayed for me, because once again, during the final session, I was very aware of the presence of God.  My last talk, entitled “Forever 31 . . . and Making a Difference:  Five “D’s” that will improve your GPA*” (Growing a Proverbs 31 Attitude), was a charge to be devoted to growing as Proverbs 31 ladies and to DO something to make a difference for the kingdom with each one’s unique gifting and call.  I sensed that the women were stirred by the spirit of God and left with resolve to be more fully His, driven by His purposes.

The book table was ably managed by Jenn Forxworth - top right- (whose brother Thomas Austin is on the practice squad for the New England Patriots, and who along with his wife Margaret, was very involved in our couples’ Bible study last fall!), and helpers Stephanie and Kelly.  The ladies were thrilled to have some new resources to take home with them and definitely set a record per capita for book sales.

There were many reasons this women’s retreat was the richest and most meaningful I’ve ever been a part of, but two stand out with prominence.  I’ve already written about the first: Stacey.  The second is that this wasn’t any ordinary group of women: these women are married to men who are serving our country through the armed forces.  The context linked me back to my growing up years, as the daughter of a Naval officer and his very devoted wife, my mom.  It’s been a long time since I’ve thought of things like deployments and ID cards and base housing and uniforms, but it all came flooding back to me kind of like a tsunami figuratively.  I felt a bond with these women in a way I hadn’t expected, for though I’m not a military wife, my years as a Navy “brat” connected me with their world on a fairly deep level.

Interestingly, I felt that some of my most persuasive encouragement to the women came as a result of the gift my parents gave me and my 6 siblings of the strength of their marriage.  Stacey reported that just the week before, statistics had been released revealing that the divorce rate among the military is highest at the bases of the Pacific Fleet — right there in the idyllic paradise of Oahu.  I wanted to give these women hope that they could avoid being part of that dismal statistic by the grace of God and by prioritizing, guarding, and investing in their marriages.  I used many examples from what I observed in my parents’ marriage as a kid growing up in the military.  I can still see my mom every night as I kissed her good-night sitting at the huge mahogany table she and my dad had built together,  writing him on a plain Mead tablet.  Every night.  She numbered the letters and sent them off every day.  My dad was doing the same thing from wherever he was in the world.  And when he was out at sea, it was a red-letter day when the mailman brought 2 dozen letters to her in one day due to a mail drop in the middle of the sea.  His were numbered as well, so my very happy mom would know the order in which to read them, and also would know if any were missing.  Those letters are bundled and preserved in boxes to this day, as my parents approach their 63rd wedding anniversary.  Obviously we were never privy to the contents of those letters (I do remember overhearing my dad instruct my mom to burn them before they left this earth), but their impact was huge in terms of our sense of security of the solidarity of our parents’ marriage.

I asked my mom to write these precious women some thoughts from “one who’s been there” and this is what she wrote:

A few thoughts from an old military wife...
There are many jobs I think I could have done well in my life, but God gave me the best of all: wife and mother. To make it even more challenging and interesting, He made me a military wife.
A few of the things I learned I would like to share with you.  First of all, you are a wife and helpmeet and as such you have no military rank, no matter who your husband is.
But you do have have the privilege of helping other wives in so many ways. Take advantage of that.
The Navy used to say, “if we would have wanted you to have a wife we would have issued her with your sea bag.”  Thank heaven that has changed and the military has finally realized what an asset a family is to a service member.
Military life is difficult but also rewarding. My first advice is that you support your spouse in every way you can. Being a wife is hard, being a serviceman’s wife is even harder.
If you are a parent, the most important thing you can do for your children, besides loving their father well, is to have the same set of rules and standards when their father is away as you do when he is home.  So many times after the ship had sailed I heard a few “Boy, am I glad he is gone.  Now we can do things differently.”  That is a recipe for disaster for your child.
Most of all, I will say that had I not been a Christian, letting God lead in my life, my Navy journey would have been much more difficult. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”  (Phil 4:13) was the verse I relied on to get me through many tough times.
I hope you are having a fantastic retreat in beautiful Hawaii. 

Aloha—
Esther Collins

The women loved it!  What a treasure to have her speak into their lives words that few others could speak.

So I left the weekend empty of energy and full of heart.  It was such a gift to me to have spent the weekend with this group who are challenged in all the “normal” ways that young moms are challenged today, as well as with things that most are not.  Some of them returned to homes “alone” with husbands deployed as planned, but others whose deployments were unexpected due to the tsunami in Japan.  Most returned to temporary situations, with orders looming on the horizon which would transplant them to bases around the world.

By God’s grace, all returned with a deeper understanding that their security isn’t dependent on where they live, or on their husband’s rank, or how long they’ll be in one place—but on His everlasting and abiding love and presence, which will always be theirs.  I left with a heart expanded by a very special group of women, whose faces, stories, and journeys I’ll carry with me, with hopes of crossing paths again.

This is part of an email I received from Stacey this week:

“Many women have related to me that their return home was completely peace-filled, emotional, and marked by worshipful exhaustion. As I spoke with a few today, soo many of them were filled with such peace when they went home they were just glad to be home with their families—where they belong. That just softened my heart with gladness to hear such news. Even more was their complete love for you, the way you spoke to their hearts and reminded them to live with purpose. I have to say that purpose was a reoccurring theme spoken today of the retreat impact. One woman in particular couldn’t believe “that I had no sense of direction” or even thought about parenting purposefully, only living day to day and ‘doing the best I can’ . . . what a wonderful talk she had with her husband that night.”

I’ve spent much time since the retreat thanking the Lord for this experience and praying for these women.  I know that it is God who is at work in them and that He is their hope.  Pray with me that their awareness of Him will only grow stronger and will draw them to deeper levels of surrender to Him.

Cynthia, Vera,  Riza, Hannah, Susie . . . some of the great ladies who expanded my heart.

After most of the women had left, I gathered this “remnant” who were wrapping things up for a quick photo.  Tired but radiant, no?

Hannah (a Gordon College graduate turned teacher for Calvary Chapel’s school in Honolulu) led worship—and crazily jumped in the ocean with Susie after it was all over for a memorable ending to the weekend.

The glory of God was seen in the beautiful setting, as well as in the beautiful women.

Salt of the Earth

We recovered from the H.I.M. Marriage Conference just in time to head to Wayne, Pennsylvania, to speak for Church of the Savior’s annual conference.  It was such a privilege to return to Church of the Savior (COS).  We had spoken there twice before, once on parenting and once on marriage, and both were organized by our dear friends John and Marilyn Nugent.  With Nugents no longer at COS due to their relocation to San Francisco, we were delightfully surprised to hear from Ron Perry, the family pastor at COS, inviting us back.  We love that church and we love Ron and Kathleen Perry’s heart for marriages and families.  They are doing some very innovative and proactive programs for equipping their people and we consider it an honor to partner with them.

The conference kicked off Friday evening with two sessions and dessert in between. Ron and Kathleen Perry not only ran the evening, but they baked all the desserts for it as well.  No Costco desserts here!  They did a beautiful job and everyone who attended was truly blessed by the care and love invested in making it so lovely.

Our two sessions that night went quite well, though the audience seemed a bit tired, presumably from a long work week.  Feedback was very positive, and the enlivened audience which reconvened Saturday confirmed that a good night’s rest was needed.  Many thoughtful questions were generated by the audience of over 200 and we felt they were very engaged and listened actively.  It was truly a joy to be with them.  We received this email from one of the attendees:

“I wanted to thank you again for all that you and Paul shared this weekend at the marriage seminar.  My husband and I both appreciated your honesty and transparency.  We have had some good conversations as a result.  

Over the past several months I have been pondering why God made us (men and women) so different.  Realizing that God doesn’t do things in error, I concluded it was very intentional.  Beyond that revelation, I couldn’t figure out why.  :)  I so appreciate you sharing and explaining how you have come to appreciate the differences in each other and how you have learned to work together in spite of your differences.”

And from Ron Perry:

“I wanted to tell you and Virginia that in our senior staff meeting this morning our senior pastor was most laudatory in his comments on the way you handled the Genesis and Ephesians passages on Friday night.  He thought that it was particularly effective that you did it as a husband and wife and that you didn’t ‘water it down’ as some are in the habit of doing.  All the feedback we are getting has been most positive.  Thank you so much, it is such a privilege to work with you and Virginia.”

Ron and Kathleen Perry, family pastor at Church of the Savior, baked all the desserts for the crowd of over 200 who came out for the first two sessions of the marriage conference Friday night.  What a labor of love!

After the conference ended Saturday afternoon, we had a small break before having dinner with their part of their marriage team who plan and promote marriages at COS.   We shared lively discussions at the table among the four couples, which included the Palominos, the Shores, the Perrys, and us.  All of us share a deep passion for growing marriages and families in Christlikeness, so we found the evening stimulating and encouraging.

Part of the COS marriage team—the Perrys, the Palominos, and the Shores—returned to the Shores’ home for dessert after a wonderful dinner out Saturday night following the marriage conference.

We wrapped up our time at COS Sunday morning teaching their marriage Sunday School class.  We found the same eager and open receptivity to the teaching as we had all weekend.  Ron and Kathleen are spearheading a vital and critical ministry at COS and are a huge blessing to that congregation.  

Bill and JoAnn Shore are the “salt of the earth” and served as our hosts for the weekend at COS.

As much as we loved the hands-on ministry opportunities at COS, the highlight for us personally was getting to hang out with Bill and JoAnn Shore.  As part of the founding team of COS over 40 years ago, everyone who’s been a part of COS since its inception are familiar with the Shores and would probably understand why I said they were the highlight of our time.  Bill, who will be 81 this year, and JoAnn, his young bride of 79, will celebrate 59 years of marriage this year.  They are the epitome of those the Psalmist refers to as being “green with sap” as they continue to make kingdom work the driving force of their existence.  Their hospitality is bar-setting, from simple and delicious home cooked meals, to their relaxed, make-yourself-at-home attitude.  Their passion for God, His Word, and His people is inspiring.  Their tireless serving is impressive.  None of the “we served for years—now it’s your turn” attitude was minable.  

And their love for each other was so hope-giving.  They are living models of God’s design for marriage.  Theirs really does reflect His glory.

Paul wrote this about our time with the Shores:

“We just spent the weekend with Bill and JoAnn Shore as our hosts while we were doing a marriage conference at their church. 

Bill is 81 and JoAnn is 79.  This is a couple that delights in each other.  On Sunday, in order to arrive for the early service, Virginia and I snuck out of the house around 7:30 am.  After church we mentioned our concern that we may have wakened them when we left.  Bill said, ‘Oh, we were awake at 7 but stayed in bed and… well I guess you know.’  They are a delightful couple and delight in each other.  Every meal we ate together Bill would give JoAnn a kiss just after the prayer for the meal.  I noticed every time he walked past her in the house he would pinch her bottom or give it a loving smack. 

Bill and JoAnn have been married 59 years.  When we asked them, ‘If you had it to do over again, what would you have done differently?’ they both said, ‘Come to Christ at an earlier age.’  You don’t have to hang around Bill and JoAnn long to see their relationship with Christ is most important to them.  At 79 and 81, they are hosting dinners, Bible Studies, discipling men and women.  One teacher at the church was pointed out as the 5th generation of those Bill has discipled who have then discipled others. 

As soon as they came to Christ, they decided to put Him first and their marriage second. The Shores have been serving Him, each other, their children, and the kingdom ever since.  They are not in Florida collecting seashells, they are in Pennsylvania, serving the Lord and finding delight in Him and each other.”

Every church needs a Bill and JoAnn Shore in their congregation.  They are truly the salt of the earth.

One added bonus for us that weekend:  as only God could orchestrate, James Madison University’s women’s basketball team, whose phenomenal athletic trainer is our daughter Lisa, was playing the championship round for the Colonial Athletic Association’s title Sunday afternoon, just 2 hours from COS.  The opportunity was too good to pass up, so when Sunday School ended, we hopped in the rental car loaded with Paul’s world famous chocolate chip cookies (thanks to JoAnn Shore’s amazingly equipped kitchen and pantry!) and we drove straight to the arena.  It was such a thrill to cheer the Lady Dukes on to victory and to see them honored for all of their hard work and excellence on the court.  The win got them a bid to the first round of the NCAA tournament the following weekend (which, sadly, they lost).  But it was nothing but joy that Sunday afternoon and we felt so gifted to be there.  

Back to the Shores for dinner and interesting conversations about our life stories and such before hitting the hay in a state of exhaustion.  Though only getting 4 hours of sleep before departing at the ungodly hour of 4 am for our flight to Hawaii, we voiced no complaints, knowing we’d have 12 hours of airtime to sleep en route to Kona.  And that will be a story for my next blog.

Besides getting to see the Lady Dukes win the CAA Championship, we got to spend a few hours with my brother Frank (far left) and his son Chris, and my sister Laura and her husband David, and of course Lisa, the athletic trainer who kept that championship team on the court with her endless hours of treatments and rehab.  What a treat to be there!

H.I.M.'s "Irony of Intimacy" Conference

Arriving home close to midnight on Sunday, Feb. 27, I was made aware of how blessed (and spoiled) I am to have Paul.  He didn’t come home with me, but rather flew to Charlottesville, Virginia, to spend a day with Lisa and return our second car to Bedford (which had been on loan first to Julie during her fall internship in Northern Virginia, and then to Lisa after her car died).  It was snowing when I returned, and the 6" of snow in our driveway looked a bit overwhelming when I realized that I was there alone. Paul always shovels and makes sure those things are taken care of.   Before taking it on, I checked the weather and found that rain and warmer temps would be arriving through the night, so I pretended it wasn’t there and sloshed through to the house dragging suitcases and mementos from the Princess run.  Continuing in the established pattern of touching home base only briefly, I did laundry, repacked, and drove to Glenville, New York (just outside of Albany), to spend a couple of days with my very dear friend Helen Challener, who had just moved into a new home and whose husband was on a 2-week business trip to India.  My gamble on not shoveling paid off; I had no problems driving out of our driveway Monday morning, thanks to rain which melted the already fallen snow and ice.  Sometimes procrastination is a good thing.

My days with Helen passed altogether too quickly as we poked around thrift stores, walked her dog Penny, visited with a wonderful “I want to be like her when I grow up” friend of Helen’s named Betty,  and laughed and talked endlessly.  It was a total blast and I’m so thankful we were able to shoehorn the visit in between conferences.

Helen and her dog Penny are getting settled in their new house.

Helen and I spent an inspiring evening with her dear friend, Betty.

The following weekend, March 4-6, was our annual H.I.M. marriage getaway conference.  Returning to the beautiful Viking Hotel in Newport, Rhode Island, we had a sell out crowd of 100 couples.  At our H.I.M. Board’s insistence, Paul and I spoke for this conference and we felt very, very met by God.  We love teaching on the subject of “The Irony of Intimacy” because we’re constantly reminded that at the very heart of intimacy is sacrificial love.  It's so easy to forget that in this culture, which is so steeped in entitlement and approved-of selfishness.


From start to finish, the weekend exceeded our expectations.  We are so blessed to have a phenomenally creative and hard-working team around us.  Doug and Julie Macrae knocked it out of the park again with their generous goodie bags and the wonderful decorations, which created an ambience of romance and delight. Jim and Sue Martis handled registrations, the book table, and served as the liaisons for the hotel.  They covered every detail masterfully.  Guy and Barbara Steele, who are pivotal in every conference, were not with us physically due to a conflict in schedule, but they were with us in “form”: all the forms, handouts, and printed material were once again produced by them.  We really missed having them at the conference (it’s the first one they’ve missed in the 7.5 years of H.I.M.’s existence) but were thankful for their partnership behind the scenes.  The Tiptons, Musacchios, Ploskers, Hendricks, and Franks also helped in a variety of ways, underscoring the power of teamwork.

Did I mention that Paul baked over 200 of his world famous chocolate chip cookies for the conference?  Two cookies were nicely packaged and placed in each of the goodie bags.  What a guy!!!

From the moment our guests arrived and were greeted by a warmly welcoming registration team, to our final prayer Sunday early afternoon, there was a palpable sense of God’s presence and love.

“We loved how special you made us feel.  Love was in the air, the moment we walked in with heart balloons floating in the air, chocolate at every moment, and a special gift bag full of treats.  Thanks!  We feel so rejuvenated.”  (Evaluation from a couple married 15 years)

Danny and Rayna Oertli lead vital worship and then blessed us with a fabulous concert Saturday night, which featured many songs from Danny’s new CD which will be released in May. Though they can perform, when they lead worship, they are only about helping us meet God through song.  How thankful we are for the humble ways they use their gifts.

“This has been a wonderful, refreshing weekend.  We’re inspired to press on and love each other well.  Rayna and Danny were awesome, as were all the speakers.  Thank you for your transparency and encouragement, Friesens.”  (Couple married 3 years)

Workshops were varied and capably taught by a great team of teachers.  Many positive comments were expressed on the evaluations about the workshops.

“We found the conference extremely helpful.  We're leaving with a lot of great resources on ways to improve our marriage.” (Comment from couple married 20 years) 

The Macraes, as always, spared no expense in creating a welcoming ambience in the meeting room.

It was a treat to hear a number of new songs that Danny has just finished recording in Nashville for his next CD.

The audience was very, very responsive and engaged all weekend.

We couldn’t have asked for a better response to the weekend.  God was so faithful to meet us in unbelievable ways.  Several have written that their marriage was turned around this weekend.  The Body of Christ expanded by at least one, as the long-suffering prayers of a faithful wife were answered when her husband decided to follow Jesus.

Wow!  That kind of stuff is accomplished not by great decorations or teaching or a well planned conference, but by the Spirit of God and we are humbled by His grace.

That night after the conference, North Shore Community Baptist Church hosted a family concert featuring Danny, and about 200 people showed up.  Ryan and Kelly Plosker worked hard to pull of this great evening and it was a wonderful night of celebration of all that is good in the body of Christ.  It was a fitting exclamation point on the end of an amazing weekend.

Danny and Rayna lead worship before performing a concert at North Shore Community Baptist Church on Sunday night, March 6.

Of Football and Princesses

We weren't home long from California (1.5 days to be exact) before we headed back out.  We managed to squeeze in a day of counseling and to wash and repack our suitcases in time for our Wednesday, Feb. 20, flight to Orlando to present a workshop at the Pro Athletes Outreach (PAO) conference.   This annual 4-day conference was started by Norm and Bobbe Evans years ago and has been used by God to spiritually impact NFL players for decades now.  Steve and Lori Stenstrom have now succeeded the Evans in providing leadership for PAO, and working with our own Don (retired Patriot) and Yannette Davis, produced another phenomenal conference.  This year's conference featured plenary speakers Dr. Tony Evans, Miles McPherson, and Francis Chan, and we were challenged and blessed by each of them.

It's a huge honor for us to be invited to be on the workshop team each year.  This year, we spoke on "how to keep your marriage alive while raising kids you like."  The subject obviously hit a chord as our workshop was packed out with very responsive attendees.  It also spawned many sidebar conversations during the remaining days of the conference, as we were fortunately scheduled to present of the first full day of the conference.

It was such a joy for us to reconnect with four current couples from our Patriot's couples' study as well as with at least that many ex-Pat couples.  Every moment of the four days was spent either in sessions or hanging out with friends in the beautiful Omni Resort in Orlando.  The mix of work and play was refreshing.

We came away with a lot, and admittedly, we're still processing—especially the talks given by Francis Chan.  He has an uncanny and consistent way of stirring the water and replacing comfortability with conviction.  His passionate plea to be "all in" for Jesus was lost on no one, and he quite possibly stands alone as the only speaker we've ever heard at PAO who expressed to these NFL players the sentiment, "I feel sorry for you."  He continued to explain why: that because of their status, their wealth, and their being idolized, it will be very difficult for them to fully surrender to Jesus.  He reminded them that their sense of value and worth could ultimately be found in nothing other than Jesus, and that in their arena, they face so much competition for their identity.  He actually wept for the players, as if he really did understand the seductive forces at work to pull them away from the heart of God.  He closed the final evening session by asking everyone to get into a posture of humble surrender - on our knees - and it was an incredibly moving moment to hear the scuffle of chairs and the sounds of 450 people bending their knees to God.  

I was deeply blessed to receive this email from a dear friend after the conference:

"I just wanted to let you know that PAO has  done wonders for us. We have had so many talks since we have been back—more than the last five years . . . lol!!   My husband is really opening up to me—I am loving it. Our relationship actually feels more real now than it ever has.  When you are finally convicted by the Holy Spirit, you just don't shut up!! He has been talking and praying and listening and confessing and repenting since we came back!! I tried sneaking in there a few times that he isn’t flawed alone but I don’t think he even heard me.  I am like,  “God please keep working on me because at this rate my husband will be a saint!!’  I am thankful!!"

Wow!  That's just one piece of evidence that God was at work in a big way at the PAO conference.  Rejoice with us!  We know first hand that when God gets ahold of an NFL player, their natural platform can be used to advance God's purposes in a big way.  Pray for these men and their wives especially, that they wouldn't settle for or be seduced by the temporary things this world offers and defines as successful.

Some of our Bible study couples at the PAO conference.  We had a great time together.

So, you get the football part of this blog’s title, but princess??  What's that about?

The sun had barely set on the PAO conference Saturday night, Feb. 26, and it surely hadn't risen the next morning when I had to rise to join 14,000 "princesses" who would pound out 13.1 miles running in the "Disney Princess Half Marathon."  It was too good an opportunity to pass up, really.  We were in Orlando, and our conference ended just in the nick of time, and my goal of running 2 half marathons a year was lagging . . . so I ran.  It was my first "alone" run, which probably sounds ridiculous, since I've already said there were 14,000 runners.  But my running partner in crime, daughter Lisa, was unable to get out of her work commitments (she's currently the Athletic Trainer for the women's division 1 basketball at JMU, and obviously they're in season), so I ran "alone." 

Sort of. I was able to recruit several Patriot wives to run as well, but, truth be told, I still ran alone.  I didn't want them to set their "personal worst" time by running with me, so I genuinely wished them well and encouraged them to run their race.  I have given that freedom to Lisa in the previous runs we've done and I'm so thankful she's never taken me up on it!  It makes a big difference to run with a motivational coach who can actually run and talk for 13.1 miles and not get winded or sweaty.

Taking the shuttle bus from the Animal Kingdom Lodge at 3:30 am, God did something very special for me.  I sat down next to a woman who I discovered within moments was also running alone.  She was also from New England (CT) and we soon discovered that we had a lot in common, including some mutual friends.  Out of 14,000 women, I would sit next to Heather! I knew that God had orchestrated it.  She was a gift then and I imagine will continue to be in the years to come.

We're ready to run!  My new friend Heather is in the middle.

And so, in the still dark morning, we gathered.  I was quite in awe of the hundreds of princesses who dressed the part!!  There is a high entertainment factor in this run.  Tinkerbell, Snow White, the Fairy God Mother, Ursula, Minnie and Mickey Mouse—they were there in force, contributing to the "eye candy" this event is famous for.

With fireworks brightening the still dark sky and shattering the early morning quiet, the run started at 5:45 am.  Having grown up in SoCal with enough Disneyland exposure to make it one of my favorite places on earth, it was a total blast to run from Epcot to the Magic Kingdom—through the park—with no one but characters and fellow runners.  There was something very magical about running to Sleeping Beauty's Castle with the sun rising behind it, and to be cheered on by Disney's wonderful cast of characters at every turn.

It was about the time I came upon Prince Charming and Cinderella's carriage (which evolved from a pumpkin) at mile 9 that I began developing calf cramps, and suddenly my dreams of a "happily ever after" ending dimmed.  At that point, I was on track to actually set a personal best time, but the last 4 miles were punctuated with calf-stretching breaks.  Thankfully, I was able to finish and wasn't too much slower than my first run.  

Even though I read a t-shirt that read "Princesses don't sweat, they sparkle!!!", I was one sweaty princess on the arm of Prince Charming.  :)

My third half-marathon is now in the history books and I'm already preparing for #4 in Vermont in early June.

I am so thankful to have the physical health to do such things.  I'm not a natural runner and let me assure you, it's not easy for me to run that long.  It's actually posed the biggest physical challenge I've had in my adult years.  And it's produced some really positive benefits for me, physically, spiritually, and mentally.

The big take-away for me from this run is a reminder of how important community is.  That's obviously not a new thought, but I was struck by how much of a difference it made to run this race "alone."  It was so much harder!  I had way too much time to think about how easy it would be to give up when you're alone.  It's become a bit of a joke that I've inspired at least a dozen young women to run, who have new found confidence that they can do a half marathon if I can do one.  Many thoughts paraded through my head that morning that echoed such sentiments.  After all, if I can run a half-marathon at 56, anyone could run one.  There were times during the 13.1 that I really doubted if I could.

But I pressed on, and as the hot Florida sun slowly rose in the sky, I was motivated to finish sooner than later, since it was only going to get harder and hotter.  It was such joy to cross the finish line and have my own Prince Charming awaiting me with a sign and my Patriots travel mug full of ice water.  After the race is over, it doesn't seem so bad at all.  A bit like childbirth, I suppose.  Back to the Animal Kingdom Lodge we went to recover by hanging out in their beautiful pool.  Amazingly, we met up with my new best friend, Heather, and her husband, and spent several hours animatedly discovering each other's life stories.  As I flew back to Boston late that night, I was a tired, but very thankful and fulfilled Princess, with a mind swimming with challenging thoughts and happy memories.  In some ways, it was a happily ever after ending.  At least for now.

My "Prince Charming" was waiting for me at the finish line.  What a guy!!

If it’s Monday, we must be in Placentia . . .

We know we’re back in Bedford because there’s snow on the ground.  And it looks and feels dramatically different that what we were experiencing in California and Florida, which is where we’ve been most of the past 3 weeks.  We’ve had amazing moments with God and with His people in many different places, and our days have been full and our nights short - hence, I’m way behind on getting this blog written.  So fasten your seat belts because we’re going to fly through 1700 miles of driving and speaking 14 times in six different cities in California from Feb. 10 through 20th.

After tying up loose ends from the Gary Thomas Parenting conference (Feb. 5) and seeing a number of our counseling clients, we packed up for a 10-day driving tour in California.  It wasn’t quite the warm, sunny California one normally finds in mid-February in this garden state, but it was amusing to us to hear Californians lament the “freezing cold weather” they were having to endure.  :)  Having left 5’ of snow on the ground and temps in the single digits, you can imagine our lack of sympathy.  Though it was quite spectacular to see the snow-topped mountains behind Pasadena—a very unusual sight.

We arrived in Orange County late Thursday night and settled in to our home base for the next 10 days, hospitably opened to us by our dear friend, Wendy Turney.  Her “B and B” is charming and exceeded only by her.  We love to spend time with this great lady and each night we were there, we chatted way late into the night.  Good therapy for the soul.

The weekend conference for the Desert Vineyard Church (located in the Lancaster/Palmdale area) was held in Westlake Village and launched Friday evening.  Long time friends from Campus by the Sea had spearheaded the invitation for us to speak at their annual conference, and we’re so glad they did.  We fell in love with the heart of this church and were incredibly impressed with their senior pastor and his wife, David and Nancy Parker.  The church serves a community racked by gang violence, broken families, and a high incidence of substance abuse issues.  Their commitment is to be Jesus with flesh on to this very hurting population and to love them into the Kingdom.  From the top down, it was apparent that they are doing just that, and we found it refreshing to be with a large group of people who really know what is it to be the recipients of God’s grace and forgiveness.  They seemed to truly grasp that He is their only hope.

Our sessions with them were very well received and we had some great interaction with a number of couples.  It was a great start to our trip and a true honor to partner with this vitally Christian group.

Tom and April Garcia got the ball rolling on our partnership with Desert Vineyard, and Crystal and Brian Roseborough made it happen.

Tom and April Garcia got the ball rolling on our partnership with Desert Vineyard, and Crystal and Brian Roseborough made it happen.

Senior pastor David Parker and his wife Nancy were delightful.  Our lives have followed a very similar path and we felt a real kinship with them.

We drove to San Marcos on Sunday afternoon after the conference to take Julie out for a Valentine’s dinner (since it was a bit far for Derek to do the honors). We got to see her newest living situation, chat with some of her colleagues and friends at PT school (where they were studying), and had a nice dinner together before returning to Wendy Turney’s B and B.  We feel so blessed by every opportunity to hang with our kids.

Valentine’s Day was full of love.  :)  It started with a breakfast reunion with our longest mentoring couple, John and Grace Tebay.  How we treasure time with these saints!  Now in their late seventies, they continue to teach us how to live fully surrendered lives for Him.  Their lives are so winsome:  full, content, purposeful, making a difference.  What gifts they are to us!  Breakfast passed all too quickly—and then it was time for lunch, with more Tebays.  This time we met up with their youngest son, David, and his wife, Carrie.  David is the senior pastor of Calvary Church of Placentia—the church his father pastored for 50 years—and is also one of our CBS family camp speakers.  It was great to catch up with them and to get set for our evening at their church.

Speaking that night at their Valentine’s Couples’ Night Out was an incredible gift to us.  It has been years since we were in that church which was the site of many significant moments in our family history.  Paul was commissioned into ministry at Calvary Church of Placentia in 1972 by Pastor John and the elders.  His father’s memorial service was held there in 1983.  His sister Beth’s wedding happened there in 1984.  It was an evening full of nostalgia and reminders of God’s faithfulness to us through the years.  Many of those in attendance were long time friends and it was so heartening to see them continuing their journey towards the heart of God.  There were three generations of Tebays there, as David and Carrie’s children were part of the serving team.

There were also three generations of Brushwylers there, and that was one of the highlights of the evening for us.  Pam Brushwyler Curlee served on the kitchen staff at CBS in the mid-80’s, and she was “in charge” of the dinner for this Valentine’s event.  We were thrilled to meet her husband and two children and to see her parents, Gordon and Carol.  Pam took the time to let us know how shaping her summers at CBS had been for her spiritual growth, which was very humbling for us to hear.  It was a night full of gifts to our souls.  Another CBS couple, Herb and Karen Huitt, were also there. They are such tributes to the blessings of perseverance even when things don’t go exactly as you’ve envisioned them.  We’ve traveled many roads with Herb and Karen over the years, and God’s faithfulness again is the theme of our friendship with them.

It was a great night.

Our late night was great too as we strategically drove to Santa Clarita during non-traffic hours (if there is such a time in SoCal!) and spent the night with our close friends, David and Cherylyn Hegg.  We’re always inspired by them; we love their hearts and feel very in sync with them as ministry partners, parents of adult children, and grandparents.  We talked too late for ones our age, but it was well worth a slightly higher level of fatigue the next day.  After a great early morning breakfast, we hit the road northbound to “Brandon-land,” aka Sacramento.

At the Calvary Church Valentine’s Couples Dinner. John and Grace Tebay, Herb and Karen Huitt, and David and Carrie Tebay sat with us.

Of course we love being with Gabe and Kari, but we all know that they don’t change much in a month, so our focus of course is the rapidly changing one, Brandon.  At five months, he’s full of smiles and curiosity.  He still has met no stranger.  He’s learning to use his vocal chords and is discovering that he can move to get what he wants.  The miracle of birth and growth amazes us anew as we watched this little guy develop.

Five-month-old Brandon has no trouble sporting a toothless grin.  :)

Way too soon after arriving in Sacramento, we “went to work.”  We spoke at BOSS Remix that night, wrapping up their annual series on “God Loves Sex” and were honored to do so.  We’re humbled to partner with Gabe and Kari in that vital ministry and love rubbing shoulders with their students.  So many of them are hearing for the first time about God’s design for their sexuality, and their hunger for truth is refreshing.  We followed the evening meeting with late night burritos around Gabe and Kari’s kitchen table, squeezing all we could out of our short but wonderful visit.

Students at Remix listen intently to our talk on God’s design for sexuality.

Kari takes a break from the book table to mug with one of her “girls.”

Early Wednesday morning, Feb. 16, we headed to north Sacramento for breakfast with some of our best friends, Ray and Carol Johnston, before speaking to a moms group at Bridgeway Church.  It’s always so much fun to speak to such groups as it’s so unusual for a man to address them. Paul’s perspective is always appreciated and it was a very positive morning.

I’m not sure who does our scheduling :) but we had to be in San Luis Obispo by 6:30 that night for a 7 p.m. speaking engagement, so with only a brief stop in south Sacramento to give Brandon another hug and kiss, we zipped off to SLO.  What a beautiful drive!  The rains had greened the hillsides and bright blue skies dotted with puffy white cumulus clouds filled the backdrop.  We really did enjoy the journey.

Our evening meeting was at Grace Church, whose family pastor, Ken Peet, invited us to speak to parents and teens on God’s design for sexual purity.  The turnout was huge and the attentiveness of the audience was spectacular.  It was a great evening and according to Ken has spawned many good interactions since.  What fun for us to go back to Lisa and Julie’s old stomping grounds!  In spite of a very short stay, we managed to have bbq tri-tips at Firestones and frozen yogurt at Bali’s.  :)  We also had a wonderful visit wit Jan and H.A. Northington, who graciously provided a place for us to stay that night.

The students and their parents are listing qualities they think will be important in a mate.

We were up early (there is a theme) and off to Pismo Beach for a consulting meeting before continuing south all the way to San Diego, stopping at San Marcos en route to pick up Julie for a night at the theater.  A true highlight of our trip was going to see “The Wizard of Oz” on stage that night.  Philip Northington, a long time friend who grew up as a family camper and now is part of the cast of this traveling show, invited us to be his guests and we had a lovely evening.  Since Phil didn’t perform that night, he got to sit with us and share his insider tips on the show.  It was really fun to be with him.

My mom, Julie, and Phil at the theater for a great stage production of “The Wizard of Oz”

We were on the move again Friday (shocking!) from San Diego back to Orange County for a family conference at The Rock in Yorba Linda.  By now it really was “If it’s Friday we must be in Orange County . . .” on this a-different-city-almost-every-day tour!!!  This conference was arranged by Brent and Melissa Slezak, a sweet family who attend CBS family camp.   Friday night was another teen-parent evening dealing with issues of purity and working together as families towards that end.  It was a really good evening and we were very impressed with the mature behavior of the teens and the receptivity of all.  The next morning, we were back at the church to do a parenting seminar, and that also went very well.  Many of the couples in attendance are CBS family campers who look very different “dressed” for proper society.  We took this photo as proof that their wardrobe does include more than shorts, bathing suits, and flip flops.  :)  We loved being with them at the half-way mark between family camps.

Families at “The Rock” who also attend family camp at CBS were very supportive of the parenting seminar.

After reconnecting with another set of treasured mentors in our lives, Bob and Carol Kraning, and visiting with Paul’s sister Carol and her family in Brea, we went back to Wendy Turney’s for the final night in SoCal.  Sunday morning we attended Mariners Church with friends.  It was a treat to introduce two very special couples to one another.  They both attend Mariners, but would likely have never met each other, given the size of the church.  Both couples are really close friends of our Lisa’s (and ours!) and we think they’ll enjoy each other.  The time at church and at our last Mexican lunch for awhile was delightful.

Back to Wendy Turney’s to pack and fly home.  This picture of me and Wendy by the blooming lemon tree proves that our location is not in Boston.  With solar batteries recharged and hearts full and overflowing with gratitude for safe travels (over 1500 miles driving) and great experiences in six different cities and venues, we jetted up to San Francisco for one last treat before returning to Boston.

Wendy’s hospitality was over the top, making us feel very, very loved.

Our final treat was having dinner with our dearest friends, John and Marilyn Nugent.  Now residents of San Francisco, they zipped over to the airport to take advantage of our three-hour layover.  Over a leisurely dinner, we caught up on what God is doing in each of our lives and added more ballast to our cherished friendship.  It was the perfect ending to a very satisfying and successful trip.

Outside the SF airport, we grab some moments with our dear friends John and Marilyn Nugent.

And so the sun sets on a fabulous trip.  And it’s back to the snow piles . . . but not for long!

Sacred Parenting

Gary Thomas speaks . . .

. . . and people listen.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

With that, Gary Thomas opened dialogue with a room full of parents seeking Godly wisdom on parenting.  Returning to New England to speak for the second Home Improvement Ministries conference in 15 months, Gary imbued a cold, wintry Saturday with tremendous value as he taught on this critically important subject.

Gary is profound.  In the midst of a Christian culture wanting easy answers, formulas and quick fixes, Gary teaches from a completely different perspective. The tagline on his best selling book Sacred Parenting reads “How raising children shapes our souls” and that casts the trajectory of his insightful teaching. “One of the greatest gifts a parent can give children is personal holiness” is the distilled truth which ran throughout his three sessions.

“The question isn’t 'How can we make them behave?' but 'How should I behave so they'll want to behave well?'”  Again and again, Gary emphasized that God's design in parenting is not just about shaping the next generation, but about sanctifying parents.

Many parenting guides subscribe to the truth that parents who walk their talk are more believable and impacting and that you can't pass on what you don't have.  While Gary's teaching is not inconsistent with these truths, the outcomes are still measured by the next generation and as important as that is, it's still not the focus of sacred parenting. “Are we growing ourselves so our children will benefit?” he posited during the opening session.

That radically different approach is what makes Gary Thomas' teaching so life changing.  Following the conference, one parent wrote  in:

The H.I.M. parenting conference far exceeded our expectations! Gary Thomas exhorted us to “parent out of reverence for God” and to embrace every minute, because the time we have with our kids is short! He also encouraged us to give the best gifts we can to our kids and those are: parents who model a growing walk with Christ and parents who prioritize their marriage relationship. The workshops were also excellent, full of great practical advice and encouragement! This event was a huge boost for our family! Thank you for putting it on!
            —Sacred Parenting Conference 2011 Attendee

Besides three rich, deep, and challenging sessions with Gary, a wide spectrum of workshops were offered.  Workshops were presented by eight different teaching couples—including an NFL player, the founder and headmaster of a private school, a cardiologist, a family practice doctor married to a software engineer who homeschool their 4 children, a senior pastor with six adopted children, a junior high pastor, an executive pastor, and a licensed social worker.  The workshop topics included media, homeschooling, teenagers, teaching your kids about sex, passing on your faith, being godly parents when you had none, balancing life and parenting when both parents work, and getting it going in the right direction with young children.  It was a privilege for us to work with such a strong team of highly-credentialed and successful people whose highest commitment is sacred parenting.

The workshop leaders introduce their topics. Each workshop was offered twice and much positive feedback was received on the excellent job done by these highly qualified teachers.

Once again we were so grateful for a tremendously servant-hearted team who staffed the conference.  Sue Martis and Barbara Steele managed the event, from publicity to registrations to on-site execution, and Jim Martis of MJM Catering took care of the food.  They had a great group around them who sold books, arranged food, directed traffic, welcomed and registered attendees, and kept the day going.  The folks at Calvary Christian Church were stellar.  Partnering with them has been such a gift.  Their belief in what we do is greatly encouraging to us personally and offering their facility is a gift.

Part of Jim and Sue Martis' team who prepared lunch.

At day’s end, our only regret was that every seat at Calvary Christian Church wasn't filled.  For those who didn't make it a priority to be there, it was a lost opportunity.  For those who did, they left changed, charged, and blessed with renewed hope, passion, and vision for this very sacred journey of parenting.

At the end of the day, we paused to thank the Lord for His presence which filled every aspect of this conference and for this great group of volunteers and H.I.M. Board members who sacrificially served to make it happen.  We are blessed beyond words.

January has run out of days

As the snow falls steadily outside our warm house, adding another 20 or so inches on top of the 3' already on the ground, we are thrilled to be “figures in a snow globe” here rather than enjoying warm weather and just reading about yet another wintry blast hitting  New England.  It is true: we love snow—and hopefully have enough pleasure in it to counterbalance the unwelcome reception this snow is getting from the majority of people in these parts.  Not that we’re unsympathetic or unaware of the hardship this poses to many, but we can either be sad, mad, or glad about it and it won’t change the reality that we can’t control the weather!  That’s probably a good reminder to the many who pompously believe we are in charge!

Backing up a bit, I did miss the big storm of Jan 11–13 (but Paul didn’t! And yes, he’s done lots of hand shoveling!!) as I scooted out of town to surprise Lisa on her 28th birthday.  It was so much fun because it was a total surprise, thanks to one of Lisa’s housemates, Annie, who picked me up in Charlottesville and delivered me to their house literally 5 minutes before Lisa got home from work.  I actually almost gave her a heart attack when she walked in since I was lurking in the darkened hallway outside her bedroom, attempting to position myself in a place that would have made for a happy surprise rather than a terrifying moment of her thinking an intruder was hunched in front of her door.  She screamed, loud enough to waken the dead—or at least to make her upstairs housemates think  she was being attacked—and in the end, we all laughed ’til our sides ached and Lisa just kept repeating, “I can’t believe you’re here!”  Great (and slightly terrifying) memories.

I had the privilege of spending 2.5 days shadowing her world and I loved every minute of it.  I got to meet her athletes, her colleagues, hang with her housemates, watch her team play (and beat Drexel women in OT).  We got to do a bit of after Christmas shopping, ate some great meals, and did a few runs together (my half-marathon Feb. 27 is looming.)  We test-drove the car she was considering buying and we stayed up late every night, chatting with her housemates, on subjects trivial to life-changing.  It was wonderful in every way—and all too quickly was over.  

Lisa’s  birthday dinner of sushi at “Beyond,” a great restaurant in Harrisonburg.

Back to Boston I flew Friday night in time for Saturday’s all-day marriage conference at Community Chapel in Nashua, NH.  Pastored by Geoff DeFranca, this second annual conference is an expression of where his heart beats.  Geoff has a vision for building into marriages and families in his congregation, so the Saturday conference was flanked by sermons from the pulpit on the same subject.  We are growing to love this church and loved partnering with them for the second January in a row.

We went straight from Nashua to Boxborough, NH, for the sixth annual Mid-Winter Family Getaway.  Sixteen families chose to spend the Martin Luther King Jr. three-day weekend this way and none regretted doing so.  The weekend is low program and high family fun time in a pool-centered way.  Each morning and each night, families worshiped together led by Brian Dietz, and then had devotions together, led by Paul.  We love this weekend because it affords families the opportunity to do life together, from playing to praying.  It was really encouraging for us to see the older children (there were bonafide teenagers attending) playing with and mentoring the younger ones (all the way down to 2-year-olds.)  

The low point of the weekend for all was the Jets-Pats game Sunday afternoon.  What a time for the team to not show up.  It was really hard to see our guys not play their game, especially because it fed the verbal vitriol of the other team.  Tough loss.  But fortunately, in the scope of life, it’s just a game.  Really . . . it is.

The families at the Mid-Winter Getaway worship together under the direction of Brian Dietz.

Home for a couple of days, we counseled for a full day and caught up on life a bit.  We shared some great meals with our houseguests, Al and Bonnie Magill, whose treatments at Mass General were disrupted by equipment failure, extending their stay until the end of January.  

And then I left town again.  :)  Uncannily, I left just before another big storm hit—and I had to settle for reports from first-hand witnesses, which included Paul.  I joined our three daughters and Brandon in San Diego for a wedding prep weekend and we had a great and productive time.  Joined by our very dear friend Wendy Turney on Friday, we narrowed the search for the wedding dress to a few, and joined by another very dear Wendy (Offield) on Saturday, we made the purchase.  We also packed in a visit to the wedding venue, Grace Baptist Church in Santa Clarita, where we were joined by several of the girls’ cousins, and we bought the bridesmaids’ dresses.  All the while, Brandon was proving his worthy appointment as the only male allowed on this girls-only soiree...He couldn’t have been easier.  And he was the only thing that rivaled the center-stage attention focused on the bride-to-be, who was more than happy to share the spotlight with him.

Brandon was happily allowed to crash the girls-only wedding shopping trip.

Three sisters and a baby—the smiles tell it all!

Our home base for this very special weekend was in San Diego at my parents’ new condo, so an added delight was having Brandon meet his maternal great-grandparents and several aunts, uncles, and cousins.  A Sunday afternoon gathering was hosted by my sister Lucy, providing a great place for mingling and eating.

Great Grandma Collins has a happy moment with Brandon, who thinks she’s very funny.

Getting ready to go to the airport, we pose for a rare photo of four generations.

I returned home late on Tuesday night, Jan. 25,and  we counseled all day Wednesday—and prepared for another storm.  As the snow fell,  we shared our last night with Al and Bonnie, as he had graduated from the treatment program that day.  We got them underway Thursday, the 27th around noon, sending them off with thanksgiving for a great almost three months together and trusting that the proton radiation treatment was effective.  We look forward to reconnecting with them in the months and years to come.

Al and Bonnie are packed and ready to return to upstate New York, where they’re supposed to have lots of snow!

Before we flew to Georgia on Friday, the 28th, we had the joy of meeting up with a very long time friend who serves as the assistant head coach for the FSU (Florida State University) women’s basketball team.  Cori Close grew up coming to Campus by the Sea with her family and has consistently and faithfully followed Christ throughout her life.  Still single (but very open to marriage!), she has been used by God to encourage and mentor countless women, on and off the basketball court.  Cori came to town with her team to take on the BC women, and we not only had a great visit with her before the game, but we got to see her in action as she helped coach her team to a win over the Eagles.  It was really fun to be there, and it’s always good to see the team you’re rooting for win,  but that was nothing compared to the joy of reconnecting with this quality, godly young woman.  It makes us smile to think of the fortunate girls who are being coached by her — for what it means for them as basketball players, and even more for what it means for their lives long beyond the court. 

We flew to Rome for the weekend.  Rome, Georgia, that is.  :)  Our second trip to those parts in four months, we returned to speak for a marriage conference hosted by First Presbyterian Church.  Their family pastor, Tommy Overton, graduated from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary around 2000 and our connections were minimal then.  Over a year ago, our dear friends and ministry partners, Nate and Jeannie King, moved into the same neighborhood as the Overtons in Rome and eventually made the “we know the Friesens” connection.  That planted the seeds for our speaking at this conference.

We’ve just returned from that conference and we’re still a bit floaty.  It was just that kind of a weekend.  A sold-out crowd (with twice as many coupes as they had originally booked for), great response, great interaction, beautiful place, perfect weather, and significant “hand of God” insights/moments.  We really felt met by God.

The conference planning committee

Additionally, it was just a gift to hang out with Nate and Jeannie and their precious little crew of four.  We’re never far from remembering what a privilege it is to journey through life with families like these, whose lives are so focused on becoming all God wants them to be.  Nate and Jeannie are being used by God to make such a difference in their children’s school, several churches, and a few ministries, all with the purpose of strengthening marriages and families.  We’re loving seeing what God is doing in their lives!

After the conference ended, we visited the Butterfly Garden within Callaway Gardens (which is where the getaway was held) with Nate and Jeannie.

And now we’re home, shockingly for just over a week.  Our H.I.M.-sponsored parenting conference this weekend, featuring Gary Thomas, will keep us busy the balance of this week, and then we head back to California on February 10.  

On the family front, Kari and Gabe are experiencing the small scale trauma of Brandon’s first cold.  Fortunately, no one is worried that he’s at risk of “failing to thrive”—all 18-plus pounds of him!  He marked his five-month birthday on Saturday and is starting to sit up and to “talk”, sometimes at an irritating decibel level.  They’re loving being parents and are learning to juggle the family/work balance.

Lisa bought a car.  After much deliberation and a lot of research (aided by our dear, stewardship-driven friend Marilyn), she drove out of the lot last night in a new Hyundai Elantra.  She is beyond excited and thankful for this means of transportation and symbol of adulthood.  She hopes to be driving it 10 years from now.

And Julie is knocking out PT school.  Not that she’s counting, but only 42 days remain in this four-days-a-week trimester.  It’s the last highly academic (and intensely demanding) one of the course.  Derek and wedding plans are the other two time fillers in her life.  We are really proud of the perseverance she is demonstrating as she moves towards completing her doctor of physical therapy.

It’s been such a joy for me to be with all of the girls this month.  We just really like being together and those times are fewer and farther between.  We don’t take any of these moments for granted.

The final pictures need no explanation.  The first was taken on our back porch, which hasn’t been cleared of snow this month, so the 3-foot-deep untouched bank of snow was too tempting.  Someone had to do it—and in the absence of the three snow angels who grew up in this home, their father took the plunge.  There are some benefits to having this much snow.  :)

It’s a new year!

1-11-11

Hopefully that’s what we’ll be saying after the Pats meet the Jets this Sunday at Gillette.  :)

As our attention turns to a huge nor’easter snowstorm approaching New England and the Pats preparing for the play-offs this weekend, we’re very aware we’re not in Hawaii anymore.  There are a few other reminders as well, like the sub-freezing temps, the piles of dirty snow left over from the post-Christmas storm, and Dunkin’ Donuts stands on every corner.  We’re home—briefly—and our warmth is driven by memories of a wonderful vacation in Hawaii with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon.

Our days on the Big Island, made possible by the generosity of one of our dearest friends who loaned us her condo in Kailua-Kona and lots of frequent flyer miles accrued by our extensive travels, were nothing short of delightful.  Though having a 4-month-old along insured that every day wasn’t filled with early morning to late evening activities as per our normal “vacation” pace, we packed a surprising amount of exploration and discovery into our 8 days there.  One day, we drove up the Kohala Coast and spent several hours on Hapuna Beach as well as Mauna Kea Beach, thrilling to see some humpback whales breaching as they migrated past us.  We drove the Saddle Road to Hilo (a first) and loved seeing multiple waterfalls, gorgeous flowers, and farmers’ markets.  We drove down the east coast of the island to the “end of the road” where volcano Kilauea had buried the town of Kalapana under 75' of lava almost 20 years ago and were amazed to see green growth randomly popping up from the unfriendly lava fields.  Later that evening, we watched Kilauea’s deep orange glow and scalding steam arise as we stood on the crater’s rim.  One day we hiked down to Captain Cook’s memorial, on a very rigorous, broken-lava-strewn, uneven, and toe-catching 2-mile semi-pathway, which was hard to go down (1300' drop in 2 miles), and even harder to go up.  Brandon was the only one who thought it was a blast as he rode in his “Jeep” front pack being worn by his devoted dad.  The snorkeling in Kealakekua Bay was worth it all, admittedly, and yes, we would do it again.

We swam, played tennis and ping pong, Rummikub and Nickel, went to the pool, sipped iced Kona coffee and frozen lattes, savored papayas, pineapples, avocados, and samples at Costco, slept in, napped, watched the wonders of the sea-world (including spouting and breaching whales and sea turtles bellying up to the fresh sushi bar) and the wonders of volcanoes, past and present.  Most of all, though, we passed Brandon around.  He was definitely the star of the show.  Even breaching whales don’t compete with the gift of watching this little guy grow up before our very eyes.  And though I risk sounding like an incurably prejudiced grandma (guilty as charged), he was very easy to be around with his low-key, content, sweet disposition.  

Four month old Brandon is dressed and ready for the surf.

Sporting his Red Sox hat, Brandon and Kari take a walk on Hapuna Beach.

At Honaunau, we couldn’t get enough of these sea turtles who were enjoying “fresh sushi in the sea.”

Down the challenging path to Captain Cook’s memorial, we all snorkeled in Kealakekua Bay and marveled at the stunningly beautiful undersea world.

Back up that awful trail from Captain Cooks, Gabe suppresses his masculine pride to don Kari’s nursing apron to provide protection for Brandon’s fair skin.

Hilo provided some gorgeous waterfall sightings.  Here we pose in front of Pe’e Pe’e Falls.

Gabe stands on the lava formed coastline on the southeastern shore of Hawaii, and is mesmerized by the power and fury of the ocean.

Brandon enjoys the sunset at Honaunau on our last evening together.

This is really what it looked like.  Breathtakingly beautiful, we didn’t leave until the last rays of sun were swallowed up by darkness.

Brandon and his Grandpa exchange smiles as they relax together on the couch.

It’s hard to imagine how the days could’ve been better.  We were blessed in a big way to have these days together, being renewed and refreshed by being in such an extraordinary place.  

The red-eye flight home dimmed some of the glow, but not much.  We were so thankful to get home Friday morning, since a very big weekend was in the wings.

Saturday morning, Jan 8, we were leading Engagement Matters for 12.5 couples.  Along with the resource team of Ryan and Kelly Plosker and Doug and Julie Macrae, we agreed that it was one of the best weekends ever.  Not sure how to qualify that, except to say that we all had great interaction with the couples, who were open, engaged, and taking it all in.  They seemed to be there with hearts to seriously consider truth that would impact their thinking regarding making “the second most important decision of life.”  We continue to love this event and pray that God will use it to change the world through at least a few of these future marriages.

That evening we had the privilege of being a part of Matthew Steele and Stephanie Chin’s wedding reception.  The wedding had occurred earlier in the day, while we were involved with Engagement Matters (EM), but we were so honored to join the festivities at Hei La Moon Restaurant in Chinatown and have Paul serve as emcee for the evening, as well as pronounce a blessing on Matt and Steph at the evening’s close.  It was purely a joyful occasion.  Matt and Steph, who met as undergrads at MIT, both have sincere hearts for the Lord and are committed to honoring Him with their lives, now together.  The merging of their two cultures appeared seamless as they included traditions from both of their backgrounds.  In all, it was a beautifully God-honoring celebration, and a very fitting end to our day.  Matt and Steph had gone through EM a year ago and it felt like a “graduation” of sorts to witness their entry into the covenant of marriage.

With Mr. and Mrs. Steele (times two!) at the reception.

Though we arrived home very late, we got enough sleep to fuel us through the second day of EM, which wrapped up around 3:30 Sunday afternoon.  Some of the comments participants wrote on their evaluations:

“It helped us to bring up and clarify some things we hadn’t discussed and has helped us to grow closer and communicate more effectively”

“Confirmed that problems are real”

“There is a lot to do!  But God’s grace and redemptive nature is so comforting”

“We are getting closer to not getting married.  This has helped us figure this out.  We have seen that we have too many differences.  It raised questions about our relationship we had not faced.”

“It has helped me realize I am marrying a great man.” 

After Engagement Matters concluded, we went on to church for the 5 pm service, and then home to crash.

Monday was actually even longer as we counseled from 8 am to 7:30 pm, virtually break-less, and then went into a H.I.M. Board Meeting.  It was so good to be with our board.  We love each of them so much and are so thankful for their continuing commitment to this ministry in general, and to us personally.  We value their input, insights, and gifts, all of which bring diversity and more depth to the table.  The months ahead are very full of traveling and speaking and we’re raring to go!

Julie’s days in Uganda were very sweet, until Derek’s locked car was broken into right before New Year’s, and they were robbed of all the electronics in the car.  They lost iPods, Kindles, cameras, FLIP video, and Julie’s Blackberry, as well as Julie’s backpack containing her travel Bible, journal, and school work.  That was a real bummer, but they handled it well and chose to be thankful that they still had their irreplaceable things (their lives) and that the pictures in their minds would have to suffice.  It hasn’t been an easy transition back for Julie as she begins her 5th trimester of grad school and their wedding date of August 21 seems very far off at this point, but we’re praying her through each day.

Lisa is meeting herself coming and going as the women’s basketball season heats up, but she’s really enjoying taking care of her 11 players.  In her spare time, she’s trying to buy a car to replace “Olga,” her 1998 bright red with sunroof and leather seats Lincoln Continental whose transmission died just before Christmas.

We’ve launched our second year of reading through the Bible using D. A. Carson’s For the Love of God as a guide.  We’re both committed to being more His than H.I.M.’s this year.  And I continue training for my next half-marathon, which I’ll run February 28 at Disney World. 

We’re so thankful for life, for health, for family and friends, and for the opportunity to minister in this arena.  A belated happy new year!

Closing Out 2010 (Part 2)

Aloha!  While New Englanders are digging out and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation in the magic of freshly fallen snow, we’re experiencing His creation in a whole different way.  We knew we weren’t in Bedford when we wakened this morning, tossed off the covers—which consisted of a thin white sheet—and stepped outside in shorts and a sleeveless top to take a run.  The sunrise was our reward for getting up early.

The first morning sunrise over the Kailua-Kona coastline was a fabulous start to our day.

Backing up: early on Friday morning, Dec. 10, we flew to St. Louis for our annual visit with Grant and Emily Williams and their daughters.  Though never long enough, we’re grateful for each moment with them.  We’re always so impressed with the Christlikeness of this family.

This was an extra special year as we joined them in the “rite of passage” celebration of Meegan’s 13th birthday.  Inspired by my book Raising a Trailblazer: Rite-of-Passage Trail Markers for your Set-Apart Teens, the Williams family used it as a template for their celebration. Their home was filled with family friends who are journeying with them through life and it was a beautifully done and very meaningful event.  We were so honored to be a part of it.  The celebration dominated the weekend in a wonderful way and though snowy weather which arrived Sunday morning briefly threatened our flight home, with mixed feelings, we were able to make it home that night (or early morning.)

First things first: Mister Paul makes his world famous chocolate chip cookies soon after arriving.

Grant Williams listens as Paul gives his tribute to Meegan.

Home from St. Louis briefly, in the next four days, we lived like crazy people as we finished preparing for Christmas (which meant lots of sewing, a little shopping, lots of baking, wrapping, mailing, delivering, etc.), did lots of counseling, and wrapped up our two Patriots studies.  The wives’ study concluded on Wednesday with a baking session during which we set a record, turning out ten Almond Puff Pastry Christmas wreaths in about an hour.  The women then caught me completely by surprise by tributing me!  Each brought me a gift which represented what I meant to them.  I was totally blown away—and deeply touched.  As I reflected on how reticent I was to lead the group when Betsy Hasselbeck invited me to do so back in the spring, listening to the women express how God had met them through the study was very confirming and affirming.  Driving from Attleboro to Bedford after saying tearful good-byes to an extremely special group of women, I was filled with humble gratitude for God’s faithfulness.

All smiles around the Almond Puff Pastry wreath—before we devoured it!

Another very special part of the morning was having Betsy Hasselbeck showcase 13 beautifully and uniquely wrapped gifts.  We have  admired her gift of creating beauty all fall as we’ve watched her turn a simple snack of fruit and bagels into an almost too-lovely-to-eat presentation.  She can make any ordinary anything extraordinary, so by popular request from the women, she demo’d beautifully and creatively wrapped gifts which elicited ooh’s and ahh’s from everyone.  Very inspirational!

Betsy shows us how to make an adorable presentation of a gift for a child’s birthday.

And here are all 13 gifts she wrapped!  She amazed everyone with her talent.

Thursday night, Dec. 16th, we concluded our 11th season of working with the Pats’ couples’ study.  This has been an exceptional year in many ways as God has filled the gaps left from last year’s group (a number of whom either retired or were traded).  We’ve had five new couples this year who have brought enthusiasm and commitment to the study, and, joined with six veteran couples, we’ve had a great group.  Our grand finale was hosted by Doug and Julie Macrae, who along with the chef from Il Capriccio, Richie Barron, fed us like kings and provided a warm, welcoming, and fun video arcade that resides in the Macraes’ basement.  We enjoyed eating, reading the Christmas story, sharing our favorite Christmas traditions, and the camaraderie which has grown among us these past three months.  It was a wonderful and fitting wrap-up for the year.

And that was it—what got done was done.  I flew to San Diego the next morning to spend four days with my parents and siblings en route to a Sacramento-based Christmas.  It was truly wonderful to be there and to finally lend a hand to help my parents get more settled.  The time was a good mix of work and play.  One of the “play” highlights was a family get-together hosted by my sister Sue and her husband Ed.  After a yummy dinner, we gathered in the family room and “jammed” on the piano, trumpet, and slide trombone a medley of Christmas songs.  I’m not sure there’s anything my dad enjoys more than these such moments, and it was a joy to see him enthusiastically singing and clapping to songs long ago stored in his memory bank.  It was a great evening.

My brother-in-law Ed on trumpet, nephew Frankie on slide trombone, and nephew Chris as the human music stand, lead the way for a festive Christmas sing-along.

My parents are getting more at home in San Diego and are especially grateful to have three daughters living close by.

Once again, the days seemed to evaporate (even though the record-setting rainfall did not!), and before I knew it, I was bound to Sacramento to help grandson Brandon celebrate his first Christmas.

A baby changes everything.

That thought was not lost on us as we delighted in every moment with Brandon—and concurrently reflected on the Baby who really did change everything.  I was once again struck with how easy it is to let everything else go that would compete with devotion to Brandon—and yet how easy it is to shortchange my devotion to the Christ Child in the “tyranny of the urgent.”  I’m not proud of that, and re-ordering my priorities is on my list of new year resolutions.

Brandon is 4 months old today (Dec. 29) and is on a trajectory of growth that foreshadows a possible career in the NFL.  He’s 17# and 26.5#...and very, very strong.  He’s also very easy to get along with.  Quite honestly, he’s spoiling his parents.  :)  And grandparents.  

It was pure joy to spend 4 days together with Kari, Gabe, Lisa, and Brandon in Sacramento.  Though we all missed Julie terribly, she elected to spend Christmas in Mbale, Uganda, with her fiance Derek, taking advantage of her only almost-3-week break from physical therapy school.  She had all of our support.

The Christmas season continues to be my favorite time of year.  I love the decorations, the food, the music, the giving, the colors, the traditions, the warmth, the gatherings.  I love connecting with people via cards, letters, calls, and photos, and catching up annually on ones dear but not near.  I love having an excuse to sew and to bake once-a-year specialties, like gingerbread houses.  I love to remember Christmases gone by, which hold so many sweet memories.

I love that no matter what traditions are created in a given year or are upheld year by year,  the focus on the Christ Child is consistently central and really is the only thing that matters.  Christmas can happen without the gifts, the decorations, the foods, and the gatherings—but it couldn’t happen without the birth of Baby Jesus, who was born to die.  I love reading and hearing read the scriptural account found in Luke 2 of His birth.  I love singing “O Holy Night” with the passion fitting the dramatic musical score framing those powerful words. 

And this year, as I did 30 years ago when our firstborn was 7 months old on her first Christmas, I loved holding a little baby who reminded me that the incarnate Jesus was very, very human as He came into the world in like manner.  That Mary fed him, burped him, changed him, comforted him, rocked him, and held him.  That she loved Him, prayed for Him, and treasured Him.  That her world would never be the same because of that little babe.

We are most deeply grateful that our children have embraced the message of the manger and are living their lives dedicated to Him.  No other gift will ever compete with that.

Gabe reads the Christmas story to Brandon, who’s clearly paying attention!

All dressed up—and off to church we go for the BOSS Christmas Eve service held Dec. 23.

At BOSS, we were thrilled to reconnect with Alton and Danielle Green, cream-of-the-crop family camp staffers.

John and Marilyn Nugent drove over from San Francisco to continue our long-standing tradition of joining us for a Christmas celebration.

We joined Gabe’s parents at their home for Christmas Eve and attended a great service at their home church.  An extended family celebration followed that, with great food and fun fellowship.  Christmas day was spent with Gabe’s grandparents and the whole extended Garcia family and that was also delightful.  Their tradition of having a huevos rancheros brunch is one we’d happily adopt.  The food was fabulous.  Lots of gift opening, eating, talking, and laughing filled out the day before we directed the gingerbread house building party for Gabe’s nieces and nephews.  There was an amazing degree of civility in the process which produced 4 houses and lots of happy children.  

Home from Christmas Eve service, we grab a quick photo before the guests arrive for a lasagne dinner made by Gabe’s mom.

Christmas day at Gabe’s grandparents’ house:  4 generations of Garcias:  Kari, Debbie, Grandma, and Brandon.

The gingerbread house professionals conduct a workshop as Christmas day wraps up.  The tradition continues!

Auntie Lisa couldn’t get enough of Brandon during her short Christmas vacation.

Back to Kari and Gabe’s for yet another Christmas celebration, and a chance to wear our matching jammies. Historically I’ve made matching p.j.’s for the girls, but since Brandon is a boy, we expanded to include the menfolk this year (much to their delight, I’m sure!)  All were good sports. 

Grandpa, Kari, and Brandon model their Christmas jammies...

...while Lisa models her new Patriots sweatshirt.

All too quickly, gifts were unwrapped, food was eaten, and Christmas 2010 became part of history.  The airport runs began the day after Christmas as Lisa returned to VA to tend to the needs of her athletes.  A bunch of digital photos are the only tangible reminders of what had consumed the month of December.

Thankfully, it doesn’t end there.  The story of Christmas is  just the beginning of God’s plan of redemption, which culminates at Easter, with the death and resurrection of the Christ Child.

As we close out 2010, though it’s an end in some ways, it is really just a continuation of a journey towards the heart of God.  We don’t know what 2011 will hold, but we confidently know Who holds it.  Just as the Baby from Bethlehem changed history over 2,000 years ago, He is still changing history today.  O come let us adore Him!

Closing Out 2010 (Part 1)

3.5 month old Brandon is growing like a weed!

Christmas has come and gone, and there are many blog entries from this past month that have not made it beyond my mind.  I’m sure you’re getting as tired of reading (as I am of writing) “Where has the time gone??  It has flown by!”—so I won’t write it again.  But it’s still true.  And I’ve talked with more than a few of you who agree, which is comforting in its own discomforting way.  I know there must be a way to slow things down, but I also know that it’s harder than ever to do so with the pervasive invasion of technological devices that fill in the gaps which previously existed in any 24/7 time period.

We’re in our airborne “office” as we wing our way to the big island of Hawaii for a week plus of R and R, and as is always true, I’m loving the solitude one finds on a flight.  No real interruptions, save an occasional drink cart bumping down the narrow aisle.  Usually when a flight ends, we are launched into a weekend of ministry opportunities, but at this flight’s end, we’ll enter a period of mostly rest.  It’s a very promising way to enter the new year, even though we’re somewhat envious (honestly) of our New England friends who are being buried by a blizzard as we fly into 80 degree sunny skies which frame the crown jewel islands of the Pacific.

Our lives became richer this fall when our dear friend Helen Challener let us know of a couple in her church in upstate New York who would need a place to stay while the husband received proton radiation treatment at Mass General Hospital.  We invited Al and Bonnie to live with us during the 2-3 month process and we have fallen in love with this very dear couple.  We’ve shared many meals together and discovered many areas of compatibility, the most treasured one being our love for the Lord.  Al will hopefully be done with treatments in mid-January, and we’ll bid them adieu, knowing we’ve made life long friends.

Al and Bonnie moved in just after Julie’s engagement and we’ve become fast friends.

These past weeks are blurry in my fatigued mind and body, but memorable nonetheless.  Just before Thanksgiving, I spoke at Barbara Becker’s 6th annual Creative Memories Scrapbooking Weekend held at the Old Sea Pines Inn in Brewster.  To a sold out crowd of (mostly) serious scrapbookers, I spoke four times, and in between talks, did a bit of scrapping myself.  I love this weekend and am so honored to partner with Barbara on it.
  

One of the things that strikes me at this weekend every year is how important memories of people-centered events are to us.  All through the weekend, women work intensely on projects that are all about important people in their lives.  Memories, mostly good but some painful, are captured in artistically rendered settings made with colorful papers and stickers to join pages upon pages of life moments in a book.  These treasured books keep the past alive and preserved for the generations to come.  As I challenged the women, however,  God’s call to us is to thrive in the present.  The enemy’s strategy is to ensnare us in the past, as that will effectively cost us both the present and the future.  We must press to find the balance between the two worlds.

All thirty women broke for a special dinner Saturday night before getting back to the saltmines to scrap.

While I was speaking in Brewster, Paul was speaking in Sandwich.  Mike Allen invited him to give a stewardship charge to the congregation at Lighthouse Christian Fellowship as the culmination of a series he had given.  Paul loves to give and believes in the discipleship commitment of giving, so he happily embraced the call.  Mike later wrote that his congregation committed more financially than ever before. God obviously used Paul significantly.

I drove straight from Brewster to Sandwich, where Paul and I connected, and then on to Gillette Stadium where we joined 65,000 others to cheer the Patriots to a decisive victory over the Colts.  At the dinner in the tunnel afterwards, we had the delight of sitting with Danny Woodhead’s family and talking about our mutual passion for kingdom values, especially related to marriage and family.  That was a definite highlight.

Arriving at Gillette for the Patriots’ dominance over the Colts.

As I’ve said in previous blogs, leading the Patriots’ Wives study this fall has been a joy and a delight.  In addition to doing the study, we’ve had three different baking workshops, featuring jam making, cinnamon rolls, and almond puff pastry.  Just before Thanksgiving, we had fun making cinnamon rolls together.

These Patriot wives show off their “monkey bread,” made with cinnamon roll dough.  It was delicious!

Thanksgiving was different this year, as we headed south to northern Virginia and for the first time in over 30 years, did not find my parents there.  They are adjusting to life in San Diego, and we’re all trying to adjust to life without them on the east coast.  We had a wonderful time with two of my sisters and their families, as well as with Julie.  Lisa was in Cancun.  Tough life.  She assumed the role of interim ATC for the women’s division 1 basketball team at JMU as soon as soccer ended and this was her first gig.  :)  She assures us she missed being with everyone at Thanksgiving—but also admits that it was a pretty nice vacation at an all-inclusive resort for 4 days.

Post-Thanksgiving feast in Sutherland, VA, with my sister Francene, her husband Thom, son Jon, and our bro-in-law David.

Home late Monday, counseling and Patriots Tuesday through Thursday, and then off to California early on Friday.  This time to Monterey, one of the most spectacular seaside towns along the central California coastline.  We filled in for our dear, dear friends, Johnny and Lori Potter, who took leave from their responsibilities as lead pastor to vacation with their children in New Zealand.  John and Marilyn Nugent, Board members for H.I.M. and chosen family friends, drove down from San Francisco to join us for the weekend and that made the whole experience even more special.

We spoke Friday night on marriage to an intimate gathering at the home of Dave and Suzanne Overton.  Loved it.  Saturday we hung with the Nugents, taking walks between rainy spells and exploring the world-reknowned Monterey Aquarium.  Sunday Paul preached at the service, followed by lunch with nine young married couples from Stone Harbor, where we fielded questions about building sacred marriages.  Almost nothing thrills us more than helping couples wrestle with God’s design for marriage. Our time with them was stimulating and very interactive.  We rounded out the day by watching the Pats rout the Jets.  Few in Monterey understood our joy.  :)

At the Monterey Aquarium with John and Marilyn Nugent.

The young marrieds from Stone Harbor chewed on more than lunch as we fielded questions about marriage.

The jelly fish exhibit at the aquarium was spellbinding.

Really!

We stayed through Monday in Monterey, knowing we were returning to more intensity, and thoroughly enjoyed our only dry day.  Tuesday was a travel day and Wednesday we repeated the cycle:  Pats’ wives study, counseling, more counseling, Pats’ couples study, fly out on Friday.

Whew!!  In between the lines, we spent plenty of time getting ready for Christmas:  sewing, baking, making caramel corn, batches of jam, shopping, wrapping, mailing, etc.  Sadly, not as much time preparing my heart.  Fortunately, God’s arms are wide open and His love isn’t determined by my preparation.  As the craziness has squeezed out most of my routines, including quiet times and running, I’ve experienced more homesickness than guilt.  And that’s reflection of His unconditional love and boundless grace.  Wow.

Our Family is Growing!

Paul and I are thrilled and thankful to announce that our youngest daughter, Julie, recently said a very big “yes” to the second most important decision she’ll make.  And as a result, our family will expand in late August 2011 through marriage.

Derek B. Johnson, executive director of the CURE Hospital in Mbale, Uganda, flew to Boston on Friday, November 12, to give Julie the biggest surprise of her life.  Even a malaria diagnosis two days earlier didn’t dissuade this suitor from traveling 22 hours to propose.  Julie suspected nothing, so when her focus caught the familiar looking man holding two roses, and standing at the base of the escalator at the Jet Blue terminal, she was more than surprised.  After an enthusiastic embrace, Derek dropped to his knee and asked Julie to be his wife.

It didn’t take her long to say YES!

Derek had generously invited us to share the moments with them at the airport as photographers, so we were honored to witness this incredibly sacred moment.

After an August wedding, they’ll live in San Diego until Julie graduates with her Doctor of Physical Therapy degree in December.  They’ll then move Mbale, where they’ll continue serving with CURE.

We are amazed by God’s goodness in bringing Derek and Julie together.  Truly, the last thing Julie expected when she bravely flew to Uganda on February 1, 2009, was that God would orchestrate her meeting her future husband.  There’s really no other explanation than the hand of God and we have confidence that He will work out His purposes in their lives individually and together.

None of us have stopped smiling or giving thanks.

Thanks for smiling with us!

Derek waits (im)patiently for Julie to descend.

And on bended knee, he pops the question . . .

She said YES and is still glowing in the night as well as in the day.

After our evening with the Feldhahns ended, we joined them at home for a Martinelli’s toast.

Just over 48 hours later, Julie flies back to Washington DC.  She almost could’ve flown without a plane,  This photo was snapped at 5 a.m. — and that’s not a common 5 a.m. face.  :)

Feldhahns Come to Town

“Putting the Happily Back in to Ever After” was the theme of our (now) annual one-day marriage seminar, hosted by Home Improvement Ministries to serve the greater Boston area.

And many of the over 200 people left the day feeling at least a little closer to that desire.

Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, internationally known for their research data and their publications on the differences between men and women, were well received by the conference attendees.  Jeff and Shaunti spoke at three different sessions, giving important and possibly situation-changing information on how to bridge the gap between the genders.  Paul and I had invited them to speak after spending a day with Shaunti at the Iron Sharpens Iron Women’s Conference held in Connecticut last fall.  Over dinner, Shaunti, Paul, and I talked endlessly together about the passion we share for encouraging marriages.  We were so impressed with Shaunti's genuine, down-to-earth self, that we extended the invitation.  Since she and Jeff met in Boston, coupled with having never spoken in Boston, they were willing to negotiate with us to make it possible.

Though we had really hoped to pack out Calvary Christian Church (our new favorite place for doing conferences because of their great facility and their even greater staff), just over 200 people made it to the conference.  We pushed beyond the disappointment of being undersubscribed and watched God work in amazing ways throughout the day.

Most who attended were local, but we did have a couple in from Johannesburg, South Africa.  Tando and Zama Msoki had been impacted by Shaunti’s books and were able to put together a trip which included running the New York marathon the weekend before.  They were a delight!

Besides hearing the Feldhahns speak during three sessions, we offered multiple workshops during two sessions.  Great feedback was received on the evaluations regarding the variety and quality of the workshops.  We are so thankful for the quality team of workshop leaders we had:  Ryan and Kelly Plosker, Danny and Rayna Oertli, Tim and Sharon Ponzani, Seth and Melanie Bilazarian, Doug and Julie Macrae, and Eric and Joylynn Mello.  All were appreciated!

Worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, which is always a good thing.  That evening, they did a concert at Calvary Christian Church.  Fans, young and old, were blessed by their unusual talent and the sincerity of their hearts for the Lord.

Jim Martis of MJM Catering provided lunch, which was delicious and served efficiently.

All in all, the day was a great success and encouragement.  One first timer, who also is a seeker, wrote, “We loved it.  We felt very loved and we felt God’s presence.  We’ll be back!”

In addition to all day Saturday, we had a “stand-alone” evening on Friday for those who couldn’t attend Saturday.  Held at the Peabody Marriott, about 75 came out for the evening and the Feldhahns gave us a sampling of Saturday’s seminar.

Tando and Zama Msoki from Johannesburg, South Africa, stand with Jeff and Shauti Felshahn at day’s end.

The workshop leaders introduce their topics.

Julie Friesen, Derek Johnson, Jeff and Shaunti, and Paul and I send the Feldhahns off.

The operations team worked tirelessly all day to make sure everyone was well taken care of.

Danny sings a number of new songs off his next CD, which he plans to record this spring.

The weeks ahead will be full of counseling, Patriot studies, and speaking.  In between, we’ll enjoy the preparation for Christmas and look forward to being with our children and grandson at different points along the way.

Happy Thanksgiving for now.  It’s good to be reminded that thankful hearts stave off entitlement and discontent.  Thanksgiving is really a year-round holiday!  We’re thankful for so much...including you.

Legacy

This past month has provided us with opportunities to be with a number of very special people, including: one of the only people still living who knew and loved Paul’s parents well; a couple who came to us as seekers back in 1999 and who now lead marriage and family ministry in Georgia; a missionary family we did life with from 1992–1994 while we were at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary; a college student we’ve known since she was very young; a family whose mom was a student of ours at GCTS in 1995; and the leadership team of CURE International — a ministry we’ve only been connected to for two years.  Over and again, we’ve been humbled by God’s faithfulness to these whose lives we’ve had a small part in through the years, and we’ve been encouraged to not grow weary in the battle for godly homes.

Backing up to late October, we weren’t home long before we flew to Rome, Georgia, on Oct. 22 for a week of ministry orchestrated by Nate and Jeannie King.  We still haven’t gotten over this precious family leaving New England to return to Jeannie’s roots in Georgia.  Our relationship with them is over a decade old now, and began when they came for premarital counseling back in 1999.  We’ve been so blessed as we’ve watched God draw them more and more deeply into His heart through the years.  We’ve had the privilege of marrying them, of dedicating each of their four children, and of partnering with them in Engagement Matters.  We were blown away when we joined them in Rome for a week and got glimpses into the many and varied ways they are serving the Lord in their community.

To kick things off, we did a day-long parenting conference for their home church, Pleasant Valley South Baptist Church, on Saturday, Oct. 23, and though the turn-out wasn’t “great,” those who came seemed to really appreciate it.  That night, we spoke for a “date night” sponsored by Battlefields Ministry lead by Nathan and Jane Phillips.  The team did a beautiful job of creating a welcoming and romantic setting and we thoroughly enjoyed the evening.  Paul preached at PVSBC the next day, and together we taught all the adult Sunday School classes on marriage.  We really appreciate that church and their ministry in the community.

Date Night sponsored by Battlefield Ministries was yummy.  :)  Nate and Jeannie helped shape this successful evening.

The Kings wisely scheduled nothing else Sunday afternoon so we could have a date with the Patriots.  :)  Watching the game with fellow diehard Pats fans was a treat; there probably aren’t many of them within such close range of the Falcons.

Monday we met with the founders of Battlefield Ministries, Nathan and Jane Philips, and shared hearts which beat so similarly for families and marriages.  That was followed by a lunch meeting with the planning team for the marriage conference we’ll do for First Presbyterian Church of Rome in late January.  Tommy and Priscilla Overton lead that ministry and we had a wonderful time with them.  We’re really looking forward to partnering with them in late January.  That evening we did a parenting seminar for Unity Christian School and met some really wonderful people.

That night, Jeannie arranged for us to stay overnight at Winshape Christian Conference Center. The center, operated on the campus of Berry College by Chick-Fil-A, is as plush and resort-like as Campus by the Sea is rustic and resort-like in a totally different way.  :)  We had a sweet getaway night, enjoyed delicious meals, bicycled around the vast campus all the way up to the “House of Dreams,” and fully relaxed for most of the day.  That night, we met with the Battlefield Ministries team to do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator with them in the context of team building which was both fun and insight producing.  We love doing stuff like that!

Wednesday a.m., Oct. 27, I spoke to a Mom’s group on parenting and that was delightful.  That night we taught on marriage at First Presbyterian to seed the water for the retreat in January.

Whew!!!  In between the engagements, we hung out with Nate and Jeannie and their precious children. It was a full, rich week of ministry, and we are looking forward to returning to Rome twice in early 2011.  

A highlight for Mister Paul was making chocolate chip cookies with Emi and Cammie, who proved to be able assistants.

We were home very briefly (less than 24 hours — during which time we did the Patriots' couples study) before we were off again, this time by car (and truck.)  Julie had flown in to Boston from California to pay the dentist a visit before starting her first physical therapy internship in Fairfax, Virginia, on Nov. 1.  She’s using one of our cars during her internship, so we drove the ole Camry down while Paul drove a borrowed truck so we could transport some of my parents’ memorabilia back to Boston.  En route to our conference in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania, we had the privilege of stopping in Lemoyne, PA, to visit CURE International headquarters.  CURE operates eleven pediatric hospitals in strategic places in developing countries (www.cureinternational.org), and Julie volunteered at their Mbale, Uganda, -based hospital in 2009.  We had a wonderful time meeting Dr. Scott and Sally Harrison, the founders and directors of CURE, along with several others on their team.  We’re very impressed with CURE’s vision and with how God is using them to bring hope and healing around the world.

Mark Bush, Sally and Scott Harrison, Julie, and Dale Branter

Our next stop will go down as one of the highlights of 2010.  We reconnected with Barbara Boyd, long time IVCF staff member and developer of InterVarsity’s “Bible and Life” discipleship weekend program.  Barbara was a colleague of Paul’s parents as well as a close personal friend.  She lived with the Friesens for a number of years when Paul was a little guy, so having dinner with her and hearing her memories of Paul’s parents and their family was very, very special.  At 87, Barbara is sharp as a tack and still completely singly focused on walking faithfully with God.  We left thoroughly inspired and so grateful for the gift of a few moments with her.

Paul and Barbara Boyd shared many memories that night.

On we continued to the home of Liz and Steve Lane for our weekend conference at Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church.  The Lanes are dear friends from our days at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (1991-1994) and they invited us to do an all-day marriage conference for their church.  What a joy to be with this dedicated congregation, whose faith background we share through Paul’s Mennonite Brethren heritage.  A large crowd gave up their Saturday to strengthen their marriages and we felt very much at home with them.  That evening, we had the privilege of having dinner with Kathy Stuebing and her son David.  The Stuebings are also friends from our GCTS days, and after dedicating their lives to being career missionaries in Zambia (founding TCCA, a theological seminary committed to training nationals for ministry in Africa), they are now “semi-retired.”  These kindred friends have inspired us for 20 years, and we were so thankful to have an evening to catch up with them.  Unfortunately for us, Kathy’s husband, Rich, was teaching in Africa, so we missed him.

Sunday, Oct. 31, Paul preached at both services and we co-taught all the adult Sunday School classes.  A special delight was having Beth Hendricks and her boyfriend Matt show up for the service, as well as the Stuebings.  It was a reunion of sorts and made us feel very blessed.  It’s SO encouraging to see the faithfulness of God reflected in the lives of “kids” like Beth, whom we’ve known since her young elementary school years.  Now, as a junior in college, she is continuing her pursuit of Christ and is a bright light for Jesus in this very dark world.  And, she’s making very God-honoring relationship decisions.  :)  Way to go, Beth!!!

David and Kathy Stuebing and Beth Hendricks and Matt. We were the last to leave church that Sunday!

After church, we had a lovely lunch with the Lanes and two other couples.  A beautiful table, delicious homemade food, and wonderful fellowship all made it hard to leave!

Going further south, we drove to northern Virginia to connect with my sister Laura and her husband, David, as well as with Lisa and Julie.  The visit was short but sweet.  Julie will live with Laura and David for the duration of her internship which ends Dec. 17, at which time she’ll fly to Uganda for Christmas.  It’s a treat for her to be with them and their very sweet and bouncy dog Maggie.

Maggie isn’t too bouncy dressed up as a lobster for Halloween.  This is her statue pose, aka “I’m humiliated and will not move until you disrobe me!”  She’s adorable!

We headed home the next day with a truck full of treasures from my parents’ life, and our 8-9 hour journey took 12 hours due to a truck fire which closed the highway on which we were traveling for 2.5 hours.  Fortunately it was a gorgeous fall day.  Unfortunately I was reminded of how impatient I am, especially when “wasting” time. :(  Always so much room for growth!

November’s opening days were filled with counseling and Patriots’ events.  After study on Wednesday, I taught the women how to make jam.  I guess you could say we had a jam session.  :)  That time has become a highlight of each week for me.  I love these women and feel so privileged for the opportunity to grow with them.

Our Charleston conference had been scratched  several weeks earlier so we had an unprecedented “free” weekend which also coincided with my 56th birthday.  To celebrate, we chose to go to Long Island to meet up with JMU’s women’s soccer team to watch the athletic trainer.  :)  It was post-season play, and JMU upset Hofstra for the CAA title game, giving them a berth in the soccer sweet sixteen tournament the next weekend.  We loved meeting Lisa’s team and coaches and thoroughly enjoyed watching the game.  Since our girls played field hockey, basketball, and lacrosse, we’re true novices when it comes to soccer.  And I must admit that we’ve always felt it seemed like a LOT of work for very little reward (most soccer scores seem to be in the 1-0 range) and therefore boring.  We stand corrected!  The games were anything but boring and we were thrilled to be there.

We managed to take a family outing Saturday afternoon (Nov. 6th)  when Julie joined us.  Our walk along Fire Island was perfect and we were so thankful to have a few hours together.

A brisk walk along the beach of Fire Island was a perfect celebration of my birthday.  Julie and Lisa are flanked by Paul and me.

Back home for an actual stretch of time....for the first time this fall!  As we “settled in” (read: sorted mail, swept away cobwebs and dust bunnies, attacked stacks of neglected paperwork, etc.), we had time to reflect on the joys of the previous three weeks.  So many encounters with significant people in our lives, spanning the whole of Paul’s life (Barbara Boyd lived with Paul’s family when he was a baby), to the past couple of years . . . and we have been reminded that we are blessed beyond words.  And we’re so, so sure that He is in how we are spending our lives.  Knowing that helps us sleep very well at night.

What's there not to celebrate?

A picture’s worth a thousand words: Matthew expresses well the joy of a gorgeous fall day, perfect for apple picking.

Is there a better time in New England than Fall?  Daily, for weeks now, we’ve been served up a kaleidoscope of color in an ever-changing landscape and we have delighted in every moment of it.  Fall is such an energizing time of year — even as it ushers in the (sometimes) bleak winter months, which occupy about four times as much calendar space as does the autumn.  Still, the joys of this time of year re-charge our batteries and launch us into the coming season fully satiated and more deeply aware of the majesty of God as seen in creation.

In celebration of Matthew’s birthday, we managed to carry on the tradition of apple picking for the 20th Fall in a row.  The perfect day for one of our favorite fall activities included picnicking in the pumpkin patch, picking lots of apples, interacting with small farm animals, playing in the hay maze, and indulging in fresh apple crisp a la mode to wrap up in the festivities.  Definitely a quintessential New England autumn day.

Fun was had by all . . .

Our plans to fly to Arizona after our apple picking venture on Oct. 8 were changed when the church which had booked us to do a conference canceled just over a week before the event.  Ouch!  We were very disappointed, but they felt they had to postpone the conference due to low registrations.  But suddenly, we had a weekend “off” and since that doesn’t happen very often, we decided to  “make lemonade” and use the flexibility creatively.  We started the weekend with a date with our dear friends and ministry partners, Guy and Barbara Steele.  It had been way too long since we had been able to just relax with them so it became a gift to ourselves to have dinner together that Friday night.  We are SO thankful for them — we couldn’t do half of what we do without them — and that night reminded us that we love hanging out with them even when we're not partnering on a project for H.I.M.  Great time.

Saturday was a combination of more of our (my) favorite things:  yard-saling with a very dear friend, continuing the cleaning/sorting/purging process in our house, and having a good long visit with another very dear friend, Patty Benes, who was back in the hospital.  Though we hated to see her there, it was great to catch up with her.

Sunday, we went to church!!  We love to go to church and seldom “get” to go sit in the pews.  It was good to be “fed” and to connect with many dear friends.  As we entered church, we were followed by an elderly woman whose face I recognized, but was so out of context it took me a few moments to identify.  Suddenly overwhelmed, I realized I was face to face with Elisabeth Elliot Gren, one of my long time mentors (primarily through her writing, but through several personal encounters over the years as well).  There are few women for whom I have greater respect than Elisabeth Elliot, nor whose life has had a greater impact on mine.  I remember reading Through the Gates of Splendor and In the Shadow of the Almighty as a young bride 34 years ago and was convinced then I wanted Elisabeth’s life to help shape mine.  

Since I’ve followed her ministry all these years, I was aware that Alzheimer’s disease was slowly but surely overtaking her brain and decreasing her mobility, so I had given up hope of ever seeing her again this side of glory.  It was therefore a gift straight from heaven that we would be standing inches from one another, in the same church, at the same time, on the Sunday we were supposed to be in Arizona.

For me, it was a holy moment.  After the service ended, I met her granddaughter who is in college in the area and several other family members.  I then offered to sit with Elisabeth while they went down for coffee.  Amazingly, they agreed.  Though no intelligible words were exchanged between us, I knew I was sharing a sacred moment with a woman “after God's own heart.”  From her days at Wheaton College; through her long courtship with Jim Elliot; to her brief marriage to Jim which ended when he (and 4 others) were murdered by the Auca Indians in Ecuador (leaving her a widow with a less-than-2-year-old daughter); through her decision to remain with the Auca tribe to continue the work started by her late husband; through opportunities worldwide to influence this world for Christ by her extensive writing and speaking ministry; through the cancer death of her second husband; and until the past few years, still ministering faithfully with her husband Lars Gren — she has been faithful and her character has been consistent with one whose goal in life is Christlikeness.

She was so at peace sitting in that sanctuary.  She was safe and “at home.”  It was no surprise then when her family came back to take her home, she at first resisted.  I’ve seen the same kind of “hunkering down” in holy places by my dad, who also has Alzheimer’s.  My father is most alive when we’re playing hymns on the piano and he is belting out the words of those sacred songs he’s sung for over 80 years.  A failing memory cannot dislodge the deeply spiritual which has been forged by years in the crucible of living life for Christ.

I can’t put words around how deeply impacted I was by this God-arranged encounter with one of the true heroines of Christendom — but I left church with a deeper desire to be more surrendered to Him and to not miss the important due to the urgent.

Monday we got away for our own mini-marriage retreat in Newport, RI, and en route we had a lovely lunch visit with our precious friend, Thora Eames.  Amazing to have back to back days with two different women who have had such a positive spiritual impact on my life.  Dear Thora . . . almost 93! Our visit fell on the eve of her 70th wedding anniversary which she would mark alone having been widowed for 3 years now.  Still living by herself (in an in-law unit at her son's house), she tends her own garden, cleans her own house, cooks her own meals, and in between all that, checks emails on her desktop computer.  And praise is continually on her lips.  Though she no longer drives, desperately misses her beloved Eliot, lives an hour away from where she spent 50 years, and suffers a variety of aches and pains associated by “overuse,” Thora doesn’t complain.  “What do I have to complain about?” she proclaims . . . and she means it.

Though she insists that our visit was a huge blessing to her, we left knowing that the greater blessing was ours.  Really.  Her genuine heart for the Lord and the way she has lived her life is as uncommon as is her name.

Visiting Thora . . . a truly remarkable lady!

On to Newport, we continued to check out a hotel for possible future use by H.I.M. for a marriage or family conference.  We had a lovely evening, got a good night's sleep, and after meeting with the conference planner over breakfast Tuesday, we walked all 7 miles of the Cliff Walk (round trip). It was a gorgeous day and we drank it in.  We returned to Bedford late afternoon refreshed and ready for full days ahead.

The day was perfect for walking the Cliff Walk in Newport, RI.

Wednesdays and Thursdays are consistent this fall: on Wednesday mornings, I lead the Patriot Women’s Bible Study, and then join Paul for counseling from early afternoon until 9:30 pm.  Thursday, we counsel from 8 am through 2 pm, and then head down to Foxboro for the Patriot's Couples Bible Study from which we usually return around 10:30 pm.  Friday mornings, we head out for our weekend conference, returning late Tuesday — and begin again.

October 15, we flew to California to partner with Grace Baptist Church in Santa Clarita, CA, as keynote speakers for their Healthy Sexuality Conference.  What church do you know of that dedicates a whole weekend to dealing with the issue of sexuality from God’s perspective?  We are SO impressed with Grace Baptist's commitment to equipping their congregation with information and perspective on a subject long neglected by the church.  Neglect, in this case, has contributed greatly to many distortions and much evil connected with the potent and dynamic dimension of our sexuality.  We applaud this church's leadership for tackling this important but delicate subject.

There were many facets to the weekend.  Friday night, after being delayed significantly by traffic, we spent the evening with the pastoral staff team talking about marriage, ministry, and morality.  The dinner was beautifully hostessed by George and Janice, who graciously opened their homes and worked overtime to pamper this hard-working group of ministers and their spouses.  We fell in love with them.

Paul spoke for a men’s breakfast the next morning, challenging them to be “men of standing” with pure hearts and minds. That evening after church (at which we were interviewed about the Sunday afternoon conference), we spoke at two separate workshops on singleness and sexuality.  We had good interaction in both sessions which were attended by singles from 18 years old to much older singles.  No matter what their age, singles in our culture today who understand God's design for purity are in a very, very small minority.  We encouraged them to trust Creator God, confident that His plan is good and right.

Sunday, after attending both morning services, we spoke for 3 hours at the actual Healthy Sexuality Conference.  We often include a 45-60 minute session on marital sexuality during a weekend marriage conference, but we loved having 3 hours to develop with more depth God’s design, Satan’s destruction, and the Delights and Hope in biblical healthy sexuality.  We felt very met by God in the afternoon and pray that each who came were also met.  We did another workshop that evening, and then, rather spent, we drove to north San Diego with our daughter Julie who had joined us in Santa Clarita for the weekend.

The next day, we received this email from the Care Pastor who helped coordinate the conference:

Paul and Virginia,

We are thrilled with the work of Christ and His Spirit in and through you.

Our good and beautiful God poured out His love, grace and truth through you unto us as a healing oil. 

I want to express our gratitude, respect, love, and appreciation for you.  

The marriage you are making is a masterpiece. 

Your love for each other is inspiring and gently challenging to us. 

I pray you rest well, refill, and draw enjoyment from one another as you pause between our house of worship and your next place of serving.

(Luke 5:16)

Love and respect,

Dan

May His kingdom purposes be affected by the weekend!

At conference end, Paul and I share a moment with David and Cherylyn Hegg (lead pastor) and Doug and Julie Macrae (H.I.M. board members.)

On to San Diego to celebrate Julie’s “White Coat Ceremony” at Physical Therapy School Monday night.  We were SO thankful for the timing of this special event in her educational pursuit of a doctor of physical therapy degree!  After taking the Hippocratic Oath, she received her “White Coat” as a rite of passage to her first internship, which will begin November 1 in Fairfax, VA.  It was gratifying to be there, to meet her professors and some of her classmates, and to mark this important milestone in her degree program.  She'll be done with four of seven “trimesters” at the conclusion of this seven-week internship.

A high moment — and a reprieve of sorts from the rigors of studying: Julie receives her “White Coat.”

We also managed to sneak a quick visit in with my folks in San Diego while Julie was in class on Monday.  It was great to spend even a couple of hours with them.

The last part of our trip was a scheduled five-hour layover in Sacramento to check in on our grandson, Brandon, who is already seven weeks old.  In the five weeks since we've seen him, he has grown so much!!!  Every moment of the five hours was magical, though fleeting...

We are very grateful for even five hours.

Brandon’s Red Sox shirts have been replaced with Giants shirts, much to the delight of his dad, who has been a lifelong Giants fan.

It’s been so good to celebrate both ends of life these weeks.  Elisabeth Elliot Gren, Thora Eames, and my folks all reflect lives lived for His glory . . . and as their earthly lives wind down, their anticipation of the eternal celebration with Jesus comforts and strengthens them even as their bodies and minds break down.

At the other end of the spectrum, Brandon’s new life exudes hope, delight, purity, and the miracle of birth.  And God is over all — the beginning and the end.  He goes before us, and behind us, and holds all things together.  It can’t get any better than that.

Don't miss the leaves...or Jesus...this fall

Fall is unmatched in beauty as seen in New England.  We poked around Stowe, Vermont, en route home from Montreal, and were treated to beautiful views and breathtaking colors.

The past month has evaporated, but not without leaving behind many wonderful moments experienced in California, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Montreal.  No wonder we find ourselves needing some refueling!

My days with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon all too quickly came to a close as I flew home Sept. 14th.  I will forever cherish the memories of those wonderful first days of his life and the gift of sharing once-in-a-lifetime moments with Gabe and Kari.  I’ve thought a lot about the joy of those days.  It’s been a really long time since I’ve been so completely and myopically focused on just one thing: in this case, the birth of our first grandchild.  I can’t remember a time when “nothing else mattered” — nothing was more important than enjoying him and serving them.  I wasn’t too busy, too tired, or too divided to do whatever needed to be done, be it making a meal, doing laundry, or rocking the baby.

God has spoken to me through the beginning of this new season of our lives.  He has gently reminded me that my relationship with Him warrants this same kind of devotion and focus.  He wants this same kind of priority placed on growing my relationship with Him.  He wants me to choose Him above the distractions of email, Facebook, running, etc.  I’m being re-calibrated, and it’s good.

Brandon continues to dominate our thoughts and hearts.  Here he is at 9 days old.  It was  so hard to leave him on his 16th day of life.

Like mother, like son.  Those dimples…

So safe and secure in the loving arms of his parents . . .

Brandon has no cares in the world.

Finally, Auntie Lisa gets to hold Brandon, a few days shy of his three-week birthday.

Back in Boston Sept. 15th, I joined 9 Patriot’s wives at their request to lead the women’s Bible study this year.  Both honored and intimidated by the invitation, I’ve spent a lot of time praying about this unusual opportunity for months since being asked to do it.  We launched the Wednesday study on the 15th, using John Ortberg’s newest book

The Me I Want to Be

as a springboard for discussion.   I felt very met by God at that first study and am very hopeful that God will change all of us through our time together.

The next night we launched the Patriot couples’ Bible study and were delighted to have a good showing of mostly veteran players and wives.  We start with dinner, which provides fellowship time, and end with Bible study, which is very interactive and by God’s grace, disciple-making.  We can’t believe we’re in our eleventh season leading this study.  We are grateful each year for the privilege of serving in this way.

About 48 hours after landing in Boston, we were headed back to California.  On Saturday, September 17, Paul officiated at the wedding of lifelong friend, Calen Offield, and his bride Amber Clark.  Lisa, Calen, and his twin sister Kelsey grew up on Catalina Island together as best buds and have continued to remain close throughout the 27 years of their lives.  It was an honor to do this wedding for “chosen family” friends.  Calen and Amber have prepared well for their life together.  They attended Engagement Matters with us in January, and both are committed to having a long-lasting, God-honoring life together.  Paul did a great job on the wedding and many are still talking about how inspirational his message was as he spoke on God’s design for marriage.  We are so thankful!

Julie and Lisa flew in for Calen and Amber’s wedding, much to our delight!

Wedding festivities dominated Friday and Saturday and continued for us on Sunday and Monday as we enjoyed a variety of Island Company tours, including the new Eco-Zipline adventure.  What a blast that was!

Even at 60, he hasn’t lost his zip!

We also “shot” two rounds of 18 holes at the world famous Avalon miniature golf course.  We laughed and cheated our way through both rounds and decided we shouldn’t quit our day jobs to take up golf.

Before we set sail for the mainland, we spoke at a marriage event at the Avalon Community Church.  Organized by Paul’s sister, Carol, and her husband, Wayne, we were delighted to have a semi-full crowd in the sanctuary who seemed very interested in gaining some insights into God’s design for marriage.  What a great opportunity to impact a small community on an island that will always be very dear to our hearts.

Back to Boston late Tuesday night, Sept. 20th, in time to do the Pat’s wives study Wednesday, followed by hours of counseling.  Thursday started with counseling, and was followed by the couples’ study, with Big Jim Martis

catering

a great bbq dinner.   This is the 4th year Jim has cooked for the study and everyone always loves it when he comes.

Jim Martis stands with Matt Light, Steven Neal, and Don Hasselbeck as dinner is served.

Early Friday morning, we headed out again - this time by car!  We drove to Montreal, Canada, to speak at the second Evangelical Armenian Church Marriage Conference.  We spoke at the first such conference in September of 2008, held in Boston, and we were thrilled to have the opportunity to reconnect with this wonderful group of people again.  “Badveli” George Dabbos and his wife Priscille hosted the conference at their flourishing church, and couples from Toronto and Boston made their way to Montreal to take advantage of it.  It was such a blessing for us to be with them!  They were like sponges, eager to learn more about God’s design for marriage, and we were impressed at the end of every session that they asked great questions and didn’t really want to stop.  Our hearts grew deeper for them with each interaction.  We were also very impressed at their stamina: after a long day Saturday, topped off by a late night end to the banquet session, one of the older couples suggested that gelato would be a perfect nightcap.  We arrived at the adorable gelato shop after midnight!  I’m not sure what they were going on, but I can tell you that we were happily exhausted!

Paul preached on Sunday morning — in English, of course, through an automatic translation system.  We were quite impressed (to say the least) that most of the Armenians there speak four languages, and English, for most, is language #3 or 4.  Definitely puts mono-linguistic Americans to shame.  He was very well received, even when he said that it was more important that one marry a vital believer than that one marry an Armenian. :)  We felt so warmly received and were so well cared for.  Sunday night we had a lively evening with George and Priscille and Monday night with his associate, Raffi and Arpi and their adorable daughters.   We spent Monday touring downtown Montreal by foot before making the beautiful drive home on Tuesday.  It was a fruitful and delightful time.

We just received this email from the associate pastor of the Montreal church:

     The entire weekend was filled with a joyful godly presence as we dug out

       rich truths through your teachings.  All those who were present were

       enriched, even last minutes skeptical participants were so excited that they

       were rebuking those who did not make the effort to join us.

       Your deep and insightful teaching was beneficial for both our relationships

       and godly living. All our preparation and work behind organizing this event

       was outweighed by the blessings that followed.

       It was our joy to have you both with us and would ask that you consider

       calling on us on any occasion that brings you near our area. It would be our

       pleasure to be able to accommodate you and always look forward to your

       fellowship.

All praise to Him!

Some of the couples who drove up from Boston for the conference.

Out for delicious Lebanese food with “Badveli” George and Priscille Dabbos.

The drive from Montreal to Boston was beautiful, in spite of it being overcast and rainy at times.  Fall has come early to Stowe, Vermont, so we took full advantage of it and spent a while meandering through the town and even making it up to the Von Trapp Family Lodge, which is one of my favorite places in Stowe.  It placed a large exclamation point on a really good weekend.

A very cute fall display on a sidewalk in Stowe.

Home late afternoon Tuesday, and I was off to the Patriots’ Women’s Study first thing Wednesday morning.  :)  There’s a little pattern going here.  After another great morning with the ladies, I’m feeling more relaxed and comfortable with God having me with them.  Back up to Bedford for counseling all afternoon and evening....and then more of the same Thurs.  Couples’ Study that night with a smaller turn-out, but a very worthwhile evening.

We didn’t drive out or fly out Friday a.m. :)

We did speak, however, locally, at the Mom to Mom group at the Trinitarian Church in Wayland.  Our talk on in-law relationships spawned so many questions that they ditched small groups and stayed as a large group while we fielded the questions.  We loved it!  Great morning.

Saturday and Sunday were Engagement Matters, and though the group was small (six couples), we’ve grown to expect this turnout for our fall session.  We thoroughly enjoyed each of the couples, and love the deeper interaction which is afforded by small numbers.  The Macraes graciously hosted the weekend and the response from the couples was really positive.  We continue to

love

this weekend.

I also spoke Saturday night at Grace Community Church’s Women’s Fall Kick-Off Dinner!  What a delight it was!  Women really do know how to create ambience and put together a lovely event.  Allison Nash, director of Women’s Ministries, and her team did a beautiful job on the whole evening, from a 5-star dinner prepared by their in-house chef, Toby, to special music by the Ross Sisters — the evening would’ve been fine without me.  :)  But, they had me speak anyway, and I felt that God did give me a message.  Armed with many insights gained from my Brandon moments, I spoke on how easy it is to miss Jesus due to our distractions, disappointments, and deceptions.  It was grace that I received much positive feedback afterwards.  Apparently I’m not the only one who struggles to stay focused on my priorities.  :)

After EM ended Sunday afternoon, I made my way over to Guy and Barbara Steele’s home to honor their future daughter-in-law, Stephanie Chin, with a bridal shower.  I had been very impressed with Stephanie when she and Matthew  attended EM over a year ago, but I was even more impressed with her when she made the decision to commit part of her bridal shower to assembling boxes for Operation Christmas Child.  What a great reflection of her heart!  And what a great way to assimilate 35 women, ranging in age from college students to those who had graduated from college about 4 decades ago.  :)  Everyone worked together, wrapping and filling boxes, producing 29 completed packages which will brighten the Christmas season for needy children around the world.  What a great idea!

The shower was lovely in every way.  Stephanie and Matthew did receive many lovely gifts, and the guests were feted to a delicious spread of “tea party” food provided by

MJM Catering

.

Stephanie and her mother May help assemble the boxes for OCC.

And, if that wasn’t enough, we had a H.I.M. Church Reps dinner that evening.  :)  We really do have to pack it in when we’re in town!  About 35 enthusiastic friends of H.I.M. came to the Macrae home for a fabulous dinner (incentive enough for most to come!) and exposure to the H.I.M. events in the upcoming year.  There was a great spirit and a strong commitment to spread the word so many can take advantage of the strategic events we host.

And then, we collapsed.  Happily — but definitely — out of steam.

Some of those who attended the Church Reps Dinner at Macraes.

And so we’re off and running, grateful for opportunities to influence lives for Christ.  Our prayer for you, as well as for ourselves, is that we won’t miss Jesus in the craziness of our over-committed lives.

New Beginnings

Well, he’s here.  Brandon Michael Garcia was born on his Grandpa Paul’s 60th birthday, August 29, 2010, and that’s why it’s taken me awhile to update this blog.  :)  When the choice comes between holding the baby or doing computer work, there is simply no contest.  So in the quiet of this early morning, while he’s still sleeping, I’m thrilled to fill in the blanks of these past two weeks.

We flew to Sacramento on the 23rd of August and spent the next couple of days enjoying time with both Gabe and Kari and Derek and Julie.  We relaxed, ate some great meals, played games, and generally enjoyed some very “vacationesque” moments.  Though Derek and Julie were with us only 2.5 days, we enjoyed every moment we had and then sent them off to spend a couple of days with his family in Tulsa, OK.  Before Derek left, however, we supported him and Paul as they took on the challenge of assembling the changing table we had bought.  The mission was accomplished, and provided both entertainment (for those observing) and some sanctification for those assembling.  

Breakfast at Tower Restaurant was on the agenda for the first day we arrived and its delicious breakfasts did not disappoint.

Paul, Gabe, and Derek grill up a great summer dinner after a leisurely afternoon at Gabe’s parents’ pool.

Derek and Paul begin the process of assembling the changing table.  So many pieces, so many confusing directions, so much at risk.

30 minutes later...

90 minutes later… mission accomplished, much to the delighted of the non-hired assembly crew.

Before Derek and Julie left for Oklahoma, Ray and Carol Johnston and their crew surprised Paul with an early birthday celebration.  During a lovely breakfast gathering, each of the six Johnstons tributed Paul with their “Top 5 List of Things We Love About Paul Friesen” and it was extremely humbling and meaningful to him.   We continue to consider it such a privilege for our families to journey through life together; we’ve shared close to three decades now.

Ray and Carol Johnston, along with Mark, Scott, Christy and Leslie, honored Paul with lots of affirmation to mark his 60th birthday.

On Saturday, the 28th (his actual birthday is the 29th), John Nugent  (without Marilyn, who is finishing up the sale of their home in Pennsylvania) surprised Paul by showing up at Gabe and Kari’s house midday.  Introvert that he is, Paul wasn’t interested in a big gathering for his birthday, so we’ve tried to celebrate him in a way meaningful to him.  We had a great afternoon with “Nuge” before heading to downtown Sacramento and doing a walking tour of Old Sacramento and the capitol building, etc.  A fabulous dinner at “Mortons” followed, and Nuge had barely driven off to his apartment in Redwood City when Kari announced that it looked like labor was beginning.  That 1.5 hour walk around Old Town worked!!  :)  

We thoroughly enjoyed exploring Old Sacramento together.  Here we’re standing on the bridge over the Sacramento River.

A delicious steak dinner followed our explore.

So, at 10:30 at night on the 28th, Kari went into labor.  It took several hours to convince us it was real labor, but by 3 a.m. we were convinced, so off to the hospital we went.  I have to admit that though we really had hoped the baby would come on Paul’s 60th, we were mentally prepared for him to arrive after her August 31 due date.  Once at the hospital, it was confirmed that she was in fact in labor and they checked her in.  To make a long 22-hour labor “short,” everything went really well until 3 hours of pushing (at the end of 19 hours of laboring) couldn’t get the job done, so Brandon was born via c-section at 8:49 p.m.  At 8#15 oz and 21.5”, he was just too big for Kari’s body to deliver.  Thankfully, though she lost 2 liters of blood in the process, she is recovering really well and we’re all enjoying a really healthy, beautiful baby boy!

We were grateful that we could be at the hospital throughout labor (in the room with them) and delivery (in the waiting room).  God has been so gracious in the timing of Brandon’s birth and in allowing us to experience firsthand so many one-time-only moments.  During part of the wait, I wrote this note to a friend who had just left her oldest child at college and was experiencing both the pain and joy of such passages:

You’ve been in my thoughts especially this month as you’ve prepared to launch your daughter to a new world of independence and exposure.  I’m sure you had very mixed feelings when you left her at college today...joyful anticipation for her future, which is bright and full of promise, and sadness at the changing of seasons for you as a family and for her as a young woman.  I don’t think anything really prepares us for such transitions entirely.  As I write, I’m sitting in the hospital waiting room while Kari, my firstborn, labors to launch into the world the next generation and ushers our whole family into another new season.  Life is full of changing seasons.

I imagine you have some of the same feelings for your daughter now as I have for Kari.  Prior to now, I hadn’t really considered how much I would want her delivery to be pain-free...how much I would hurt to see her hurt, and struggle to see her struggle.  I find myself wanting to protect her from the pain...to have her experience the joys of childbirth without the pain of the birthing experience.  I’ve suddenly remembered all the risks and potential complications of childbirth, and of possible problems with the baby.  I don’t want her to have to endure any of that.

I can imagine you have similar thoughts for her as she enters this whole new world - so often hostile to the kind of values and beliefs you’ve helped her embrace.  I can imagine you having some fears or at least concerns about her roommate, her classes, her profs, her Christian fellowship, her decisions, her hopes, her dreams.  I can imagine that you feel as powerless at this point to change the course of any of that as I do.

And that’s exactly where the Lord wants us.  He is reminding me to release her and to trust Him.  He’s reminding me that He is sovereign over all - the good and the hard.  He’s reminding me that He IS enough...for her, and for me.

I am praying that you’ll hear His reminders to you too, dear friend.

With much love- 

Virginia

P.S.  As it turns out, after 22 hrs of labor..including 3 hrs. of pushing after being fully dilated...Brandon Michael was born via c-section at 8#15oz, 21.5” long.  Too big to get through Kari’s pelvic floor.  We saw him for the first time around midnight last night.  Everyone’s doing really well today, though she lost over 2 liters of blood post c-section.  The feared needed transfusion didn’t have to happen today - PTL - and mother and baby are doing really well.  

So...all my musings of wanting to protect her from pain remind me of how little control I have over so many things.  Thankfully, the Lord has been extremely gracious and so many things that could’ve been haven’t been so we’re all feeling very, very blessed.

Checked in...labor progressing...this is GREAT!!!  Even easy!

Julie flies in from OK around 2 p.m. and clearly hasn’t missed the birth!  Obviously, just waiting for her… At this point, Kari is almost fully dilated so delivery should be imminent.  :)

Really?  Still waiting?  Water broken at 9:30 a.m., fully dilated, fully effaced.  Let’s get this show on the road!

Around midnight—after c-section—the happy family welcomes Brandon Michael.  All smiles now.  :)

Paul agrees this is the best birthday gift ever.  :)

There really aren’t words to capture the joy of such moments, such miracles, such amazing love.

In the midst of everything, Paul’s birthday was celebrated.  :)  Thanks to technology, the girls “skyped” Lisa in from VA when they presented Paul with a beautiful book of tributes to him from family and friends, compiled in a treasured “iBook.”  The girls each tearfully read their tributes to their unbelievable dad, and I read mine to the guy who’s the best person in my life.  He was so deeply touched by the many expressions of affirmation to him from so many.  It was a birthday he’ll never forget for many reasons.  :)

The next few days, while Kari, Gabe, and Brandon hung out in the hospital, we tried to get things more ready at home.  On Wednesday, September 1, they ventured out into the world en route to settling in their little nest here in Sacramento.  Since then, we’ve had a blast helping them have confidence in their natural instincts and taking a bazillion photos (thank heavens for digital!) of his constantly changing face.  We’ve had the privilege of keeping everyone fed, keeping the laundry clean, baking cookies for the visitors, and regaling Gabe and Kari with tales of Kari when she was Brandon’s age.  

We’ve spent countless moments in awe of the miracle of creation and in giving thanks to Creator God for this little masterpiece named Brandon.  We’ve delighted in getting to know Gabe and Kari in a whole new way as we watch them enter this new season of their lives with so much joyful expectation and wonder.  We’ve thanked the Lord a billion times for arranging the timing of all of this as only He could, in part to bless us with being able to experience all of this.

We all feel beyond blessed.

Kari and Gabe take five-day-old Brandon out for his first stroller ride.

On day 9, they pose for more family photos.  :)

This photo pretty much captures the last 10 days of our lives...it’s all about him.  :)

A very prejudiced grandma thinks he’s the cutest thing ever.  :)

Thankfully, this scheduled break followed ten weeks out straight with virtually no “down” time, so we’re recuperating from our full and wonderful summer in this unique and privileged way.  Since no one knows when exactly a baby will come, we left our schedule open until our first studies with the New England Patriots which occur on September 15 and 16.  Paul actually returns to Boston today, because he’s finding Brandon a bit “too distracting” to the work he needs to get done.  I, on the other hand, don’t want anything to distract me from Brandon for another week, so I’m staying.  :)

We did take a quick 36-hour break to drive down to Temecula to join the celebration of Kraig and Eryn Kraning’s wedding on Labor Day.  Our long time friendship with Kraig’s grandparents and parents, as well as having Kraig on staff at CBS several years ago, all contributed to us not wanting to miss this special day, so we did it.  During those brief 36 hours, we drove 14 hours, visited my folks for 4 hours (they relocated to San Diego recently), and were at the wedding for 4.5 hours.  In between, we hung out with Julie and got a little sleep.  We had a wonderful time and pray that Kraig and Eryn will experience the matchless blessings of a marriage lived for Him.

Bob and Carol Kraning were the first ones we greeted at the wedding.

Kraig and Eryn are served communion by both sets of Kraig’s grandparents.

Outside of Brandon’s world, Julie is settling into her 4th of 7 trimesters at physical therapy school and Lisa is in full tilt as the athletic trainer for JMU’s women’s soccer team, which is off to a great start.  We’ll be with both girls on Catalina Island the weekend of Sept. 17th for another very important occasion, as our lifelong friend Calen Offield marries Amber Clark.

That brings you up to date on our lives.  We are bursting with joy and overflowing with gratitude.  And enjoying this “new beginning” exponentially more than we could’ve ever imagined.

We've crossed the finish line on the Summer of 2010

Paul and I are sitting at Manchester (NH) Airport, awaiting a delayed flight which will carry us Sacramento hopefully before August 23 is over, so I will happily seize these moments to reflect on the past two weeks of family camp.  As is true for most “finish line” crossings, we are very tired...but once again, happily so.  It’s been a great run overall and we will be processing a lot from these ten weeks for a long time to come.  It’s been a very full summer of experiencing God and of witnessing Him work in unmistakable ways.

A view of Camp Berea before the campers arrive . . . it’s not Campus by the Sea, but it’s so beautiful in a completely different way!

Assembling a full staff team was a bigger challenge than usual.  Many of our CBS staff began school early or had family plans, so we supplemented with some wonderful volunteers, a couple of whom said “yes” the morning before family camp began . . . and flew from California in time to drive to Camp Berea with the rest of the team!  In the end, the Lord provided so that every grade was well staffed and all needs were met.

Staff for the first week of family camp at Berea.

Megan Forbes and the worship team lead “The Butterfly Song” at the opening night, much to the delight of many veteran family campers.

Paul leads the children’s devotions and the two contestants practice self-control successfully, doubling their “take.”

Over forty families attended this sold out camp, many of whom have made family camp a tradition for many years.  This was our 14th family camp in New England and it delights us to see families as passionate about family camp here as they are at CBS. It’s like a huge family reunion!  Many of the families we’ve known since the parents attended Engagement Matters many years ago, and we’ve journeyed with them through their weddings, the births, and the dedications of their children.  What a gift!

David Swaim spoke to the first camp and he was terrific again this year.  Each day he spoke about different aspects of the Father’s Love and was used by God in some very powerful ways.  Since he spoke last summer, he and Michelle have doubled their family size by adopting three teen-agers from Uganda (originally from Congo, but orphaned and displaced to Uganda), and it was a joy to have all of them with us.

David Swaim not only preaches powerfully, he can dance up a storm.  Here he’s pictured with his daughter Angelina, who looks semi-petrified during most of David’s energetic swing moves . . .

. . . but was all smiles when all was said and done.

On “change-of-pace day” (known as “hike day” at CBS), we spent the day relaxing: jumping at Sculptured Rocks, swimming, and eating ice cream.  It was a great “catch up” day on sleep, which we were all feeling the lack of.  It was a fun and low-keyed day.

Sculptured Rocks is a gorgeous spot not far from Camp Berea - great for picnicking, jumping off a 10 ft. rock into very cold water below, and relaxing.  We had a blast!

We topped off the day with a Shackett’s Ice Cream stop and it’s hard to beat that.

Family Camp 1 culminated with a baby dedication and several baptisms, followed by the banquet that evening.  Each baptism was such a wonderful expression of God’s work in individual lives, celebrated in the context of Christian community.  The celebration continued that evening as person after person shared at the banquet how God was working in their lives and had met them during family camp.  The sharing was deep and meaningful and filled our hearts with joy and gratitude.

Nate and Jeannie King, along with Andrew, Emily, and Camryn, bring Brady to be dedicated at the lake.

Paul baptizes Susie Hirtle, who has grown up at family camp and is now off to a Christian college in Texas.

Joe Yardley also chose to be baptized at camp this summer.  Here he stands with his family: parents Dan and Susan and siblings James, Liz, Tim, and Abbie.

Sam Potter, another long-time family camper, was baptized as well.  His family and both sets of grandparents stand with him.

And just like that, family camp was over and we had 24 hours to regroup and prepare to make our last group of family campers feel like it was our first week of camp.  The weekend was relaxing and renewing in many ways.  Pizza Friday night was followed by a special showing of one of “clean” comedian Brian Regan’s very funny DVD’s, which was followed by watching a disappointing, extra innings loss for the Boston Red Sox.  We got over it by eating yummy homemade waffles the next morning. :)

The weekend was also highlighted by having Aimee, Chelsea, and Danny visit us from NYC.  Yes, it’s the same Aimee who met Christ at CBS during week 2, and the same Chelsea who was baptized at CBS during week 6.  Danny is a mutual friend of theirs who decided to follow Christ after seeing the dramatic transformation in Aimee when she returned from CBS.  Don’t you love the way God works??  They came to Berea to reconnect with the staff and many significant conversations were had during the course of their stay.  God is at work.

The staff were thrilled to have Aimee, Chelsea, and Danny join us for the weekend.  This photo is taken in near the cottage we rented to house some of our staff.  Here everyone takes a break from swimming and playing to mug for the camera “for the blog.”

Family Camp 2 arrived Saturday afternoon, August 14th, with even more campers than week 1.  Our biggest camp of the summer was the last!  Fortunately, we had several additional staff - Liann and Evan Wong, as well as Helen Challener and Taylor Tedford.  They were just what we needed to “fill the gaps” and we were so thankful for them.

Helen Challener joined our team for family camp 2.  She volunteered at CBS in 1978 and 1980 and proved that she hasn’t lost her touch.  She was a terrific aide for the 1st and 2nd grade class.  It was a joy to have her!

A wonderful team of “older than college students” rounded out our staff: Debbie Smith (a colleague of mine from college), Helen Challener, Susan Martis, and Liann Wong all added “years of experience” to the team and were so appreciated by both kids and parents.

Staff team for Family Camp 2

One of the traditions and highlights at Camp Berea is the all generations “finger blasters” feud.  The “harmless” nerf rockets are “fired” at the opposing team and mayhem breaks loose in the gym.  It is really fun and thoroughly enjoyed by all.  The grand finale of this family camp was having a shoot-off between Paul and me.  Much to the delight of the very competitive and vocal men, Paul “shot” me.  :)  I lost this year . . . but there’s always next.  :)

Paul is the victor in the “shoot-off” with me.  Here we’re posing with “refs” from our staff team:  Heather Thiel, Kyle Becker, David Hathaway, and Nathan Smith.

During the second family camp, we drove the staff up to the Mt. Washington Hotel so they could experience some of the unique beauty of New England and tour this fabulous hotel . . . and then on to Amonusuc Falls to do some big rock jumping.  Compared to Sculptured Rocks, the jumps are MUCH higher and the water MUCH colder - but fun was had by all.  We picnicked on the rocks, did a fair bit of jumping, and then drove back to Shacketts for more yummy ice cream.  It was a great day.

The staff enjoyed touring the Mt. Washington Hotel . . .

. . . but probably enjoyed the delights of jumping into this frigid water more.  :)

We were back at Camp Berea in time to conduct our last dance night.  We had a blast in their spacious gym doing the Chicken Dance, the Hokey Pokey, the Barn Dance, the Virginia Reel, Slappin’ Leather, the Cotton Eye Joe, the Rain Dance, and finally swing dancing.  Kelsey O’Keeffe and Andrew Price did a fantastic job all summer leading the dances and this was no exception.  I love this night for many reasons, but topping the list is seeing the integration of the generations on the dance floor.

Megan Forbes and Vincent Swaim work some swing moves while Alton Green teaches his sister Danielle how to slide in the background.

Jay Abramson spoke for this week of family camp and he did a wonderful job of tying his talks in with the prodigal son story. Jay’s teaching is authentic and passionate, and it engages both the head and the heart. Jay and Liz are always such a delight to partner with.  They make themselves so available as they invest greatly in campers outside of the speaking sessions.

Jay and Liz Abramson were appreciated by the campers during Family Camp 2.

Our final family camp culminated with powerful sharing at the banquet and a wonderful time of worship at the campfire.  We heard testimony of marriages on the mend, parent-child relationships improving, and many tales of personal sanctification.  No one could deny God’s hand in changed lives.

For the final time in the summer of 2010, we had our closing session featuring worship and wrap-up. One last “Butterfly Song,” “Days of Elijah” and the memory verse song . . . One last all-camp photo. One last giant farewell to a wonderful summer.

Kelsey O’Keeffe plays one last round of “gaga” with some of our smaller campers.

We were packed up and out of Berea in record time on Friday and the real end of the summer celebration began.  Pizza in the small town of Bristol sustained us until we were feted with an unbelievable surf and turf (lobster and steak) feast at Doug and Julie Macrae’s house.  We arrived mid-afternoon and enjoyed their pool and their huge backyard-turned football field before indulging ourselves beyond reason.  It rivaled the finest restaurants in Boston.  We all felt very pampered.

The Macraes’ backyard provided a great party site for our “end of the summer” celebration.

Full and happy . . . we take one more photo for the blog.  :)

But is doesn’t end there.  Saturday topped the charts - starting with a yummy brunch, a tour of Boston, a great meal at Fire and Ice, and then an extravaganza at Fenway Park.  The Macraes had arranged for all 22 of us to tour Fenway and then to watch the Red Sox beat the Blue Jays in extra innings.  :)  Really?  Does it get an better than that??

We’re on the field during our tour of Fenway Park.

During batting practice, Kevin Bron and Andrew Price snagged balls, while Heather Thiel, Monica Wong, and Hannah Early celebrate with them.

It was our first visit to Fenway this year and we enjoyed it at least as much as the kids did.

With very little sleep, we got most of the staff to the airport for early morning departures Sunday . . . and the summer officially ended.  Though we are really, really tired, we are much more thankful.  It has been a most unforgettable summer (for mostly good reasons!!!) and we are praying that the seed that fell on fertile soil will thrive in the year ahead.  We can hardly believe we’ve now crossed the summers-at-camp finish line 35 times, but we consider that a huge gift from the Lord.

And now, the countdown begins in earnest for the arrival of grandson #1.  His due date is a week away and we’re so thankful that he didn’t decide to make an early entrance.  We’ll be in Sacramento for the next little while with Gabe and Kari as they begin this new season in their lives.

Other family news: Julie has successfully finished her first year of physical therapy school and is enjoying a much needed break with her boyfriend, Derek, who is “home” from Uganda for several weeks.  We’ll see them in Sacramento this week.  Lisa is off and running with her new job.  She has been going non-stop since starting on August 1, and is loving it so far.

Thanks for standing with us and for praying for our lives and ministry.  “When you’re working out of your passion, it doesn’t seem like work” is an apt statement for us.  We know we’re blessed to be able to say that.

If a picture says a thousand words, then this one that Barbara Steele snapped last week at Camp Berea overlooking Newfound Lake expresses what’s in my heart that can’t be expressed in words.  Savor His faithfulness along with us.

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

And just like that, our summer at Campus by the Sea (CBS) is over.  After the coolest summer of our 35 years together at CBS, we wakened this morning with no doubt we were no longer there.  The over 90 degree temps and equal humidity today remind us that part of the reason we love “summering” at Campus by the Sea is the weather!!!

The last two weeks of family camp continued in the trajectory of the summer: beyond words wonderful.  We can’t remember a summer when there has been more evidence of God’s grace working out among us in so many ways.  Every banquet this summer evidenced this, as the “feast” we consumed was exceeded only be the “feast” we witnessed after person upon person shared of how they had been met by God during the week.

Family Camp 5 featured second year speaker David Tebay, senior pastor of Calvary Church of Placentia.  He challenged us with the message of Romans 12, and his sermons were practical and discomforting.  That’s good.  :)  It was a delight to have his son, Taylor, on our program staff all summer, and to have his wife, Carrie, daughters Tara and Amy, and son Austin join him for the week.  David’s father, John, was one of the officiating pastors at our wedding, and along with his wife Grace, has been a significant mentor in our lives for the past almost four decades.  It’s so good to see the generational legacy of God’s faithfulness in this family.

David and Carrie Tebay, with Austin, Tara, Amy, and Taylor.

The “staff only” annual hike to “Lone Tree” took place on the Wednesday of Family Camp 5.  Only 12 braved this challenging, 9-mile-round-trip hike, and we were all on the top within 1.5 hrs.  Though we were very thankful for the cloud cover hiking up, we all wished the sun would burn it off once we were on the top.  But alas, we remained sunless (in keeping with the theme of the summer!)  Oh well, makes for easier hiking!  We had a great time of fellowship and experienced wonderful camaraderie throughout.  Another Lone Tree summit accomplished!

Front row: Holland Stewart, David Hathaway, Heather Thiel, “Mama Virg”, Megan Forbes, Lisa Friesen, Leslie Johnston, Scott JohnstonBack row:  Jared Klay, Rachel Baughman, Whitnee Sherman, and Christy Johnston.  Mission accomplished: Lone Tree conquered!

As was true for every Family Camp, the week flew by and before we were ready for it, Saturday morning had arrived and we were celebrating God’s faithfulness during our closing session.  Tears, hugs, and another heartfelt chorus of “We love you campers, oh, yes, we do!” sent this wonderful group of campers off to San Pedro.
Late that Saturday afternoon, the program staff and part of the facilities staff headed into Avalon for the annual “staff appreciation” meal in town. “Mi Casita” was the site of our dinner and though the food wasn’t nearly as good as what we’ve enjoyed from the CBS kitchen this summer, it was a fun and relaxing change of venue.  The bonus of the night was the brilliant full moon - with no cloud cover - spawning our second full moon hike of the summer. Twenty-one intrepid staff hiked under the unbelievably beautiful moonlit night, which put a large exclamation point on a great evening.

Program staff appreciation dinner at Mi Casita in Avalon.

Presto change-o - into hiking clothes and off to Campus by the Sea under a moonlit night.

Family Camp 6 arrived on Sunday, July 25.  Gary and Anne Gaddini and their four daughters joined our resource team this week and as usual, Gary’s speaking did not disappoint.  He preached through the book of Jonah, and was compelling, challenging, relevant, and inspiring.  (A reminder that all of the family camp talks from CBS 2010 are available on MP3’s on the CBS website.)  Gary’s passion for Christ, his knowledge of the Word, and his strong communication skills combined to “knock it out of the park.”

Gary and Anne Gaddini with 3 of their 4 daughters join Lisa, Paul, and me for ice cream in Avalon on hike day.

Week 6 had so many special features.  One of them was having Garth and Rosemary Dougan in camp for the week.  Now at 87 and 85, they continue to inspire all of us.  We invited them to our staff meeting and spent a few moments honoring them for their years of faithful service at CBS, but mostly for their faithfulness to the Lord for decades.  Their lives are so hope-giving.  How we love them!

Paul presented Garth and Rosemary with honorary staff shirts at the banquet Friday night.  Don’t they look terrific?

The program staff share a staff meeting with Garth and Rosemary Dougan, CBS staff “grandparents” emeritus.

Another very special moment during week 6 was Chelsea Paskvan’s baptism.  Chels grew up coming to family camp and served on staff for several summers.  She just graduated from Kent State University with a degree in fashion design and is living in NYC working in the industry.  She wanted to be baptized in the place where God has met her consistently.  It was a beautiful service.  BTW, Chelsea has been a great friend to the young woman from NYC who became a Christian at camp during week 2.  She has taken her to Tim Keller’s church, Redeemer, and is walking with her during her first steps as a Christian.

Lisa prays for Chelsea at her baptism ceremony.

It’s hard to remember a summer when we’ve experienced more spiritual fruit than this one.  Or a summer when there’s been more unity among the staff team.  We were especially impressed with how well the program staff worked together; they were “all in” with serving and becoming more Christlike.  They were such a delight to partner with!

I’m still amazed at God’s faithfulness to us in bringing this team together.  Twenty of our twenty-four program staff grew up as family campers.  That means they really “get” it; they know how important staff members were in their lives through the years.  It’s an awesome thought to consider that all the years these kids were growing up as family campers, they were in training to serve as staff workers one day!

We also had an unusually high number of staff with theatrical or musical backgrounds, and in line with their gifts, we had more creative flair in the program.  The Children’s Program drama, written and directed by the staff,  was fabulous and conveyed the essence of the Prodigal Son story remarkably well.  John Thiel, our worship leader (as well as children’s program director) wrote a short reader’s theater for opening night and closing morning, and that was well received.  He also wrote a catchy memory verse song, which will be sung long after the summer of 2010 is history.

After we sent our last family campers sailing, we spent our last almost 24 hours in camp bringing closure to the summer.  The year round staff couples prepared a wonderful Mexican feast for our last dinner together and that was followed by “Saturday Night Live” - a sharing of talents which would bless our community.  Sunday morning, we had a wonderful two-hour worship/sharing service and we privileged to hear how God had met us individually through our seven weeks together.  It was a really sweet time.  And then it was boat time.

It’s impossible to put into words what it means to live in this kind of unplugged, undistracted, directed community for almost two months, but what is unspoken is mostly intangible.  God meets each of us in different ways, right where we are on the journey towards His heart.  He uses us, imperfect as we each are, to impact eternity, and none of us can really get our minds around that.  We can get our hearts around it, though, and even more now, after spending a summer delving deeper into “The Father’s Love,” and for that, we’ll be forever grateful.

On the Catalina Express, en route back to the mainland...our very wonderful staff team gathers for one last shot “for the blog.”  :)

And so the sun sets on another summer at CBS and we head off to New Hampshire to do two more weeks of family camp.  We are exceedingly tired . . . and exceedingly grateful.  “Great is Thy Faithfulness!”