Virginia Friesen
Plan Fail: The Christmas Reunion That Wasn't

We were home the WHOLE month of December and it was good.

We continued walking five miles a day, praying for snow, and preparing for our family Christmas reunion: the first one in New England since 2015 and the first all being together for Christmas since 2019.

We had very high expectations.

Ministry events in December included Engagement Matters, the Patriots women’s study, and LOTS of counseling, but that left plenty of time for decorating the house inside and out, getting together with friends, wrapping and sending packages, sewing Christmas jammies, making gingerbread houses, and preparing for our long-awaited reunion which was to commence the 22nd of December.

Plan Fail: The Christmas Reunion That Wasn't
Virginia Friesen
Around the Country in 22 Days

Since my last post on Dec. 27, we’ve only been home eight days.

Maybe that contributes to me forgetting that when I last wrote, my reflections ended with Engagement Matters (EM), which was held Dec. 4–5, and not after Christmas, which the blog post date would indicate.
Whatever the reasons, before I write about our most recent last three weeks—which literally took us to the four corners of our great nation—we must finish December. Strangely, that seems SO long ago already. But what fun to sift back through my December photo library and have many sweet memories surface.

Around the Country in 22 Days
Virginia Friesen
A Bit of Heaven on Earth

It happened.

The “decades birthday-family reunion” celebration, postponed for a full year, is now in the books, but even more deeply, in our hearts.

It was uncertain until an hour before the six flying from Oakland were to depart due to two lost Covid tests, but mercifully, new tests were done at 6 am, the results of which were registered less than 60 minutes prior to boarding.

The trip was on.

A Bit of Heaven on Earth
Virginia Friesen
More Than a Cookbook

It was a sweltering summer day in Louisiana. My 8-year-old self stood in the kitchen of my paternal grandparents’ home in Shreveport, watching with fascination as Grandma Collins stirred the hot pot of boiling figs, on their way to becoming preserves. With sweat running down her brow, just beneath the thin brown elastic that kept her hair net in place over her thinning curly hair, she turned to me and said, “You know, Virginia, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” With that piece of wisdom pronounced, she simultaneously clicked her cheek and winked her eye at her wide-eyed granddaughter, leaving an unforgettable impression.

More Than a Cookbook
Paul and Virginia
On the Move (Part 2)

My plans to write “Part 2” have been derailed by the maelstrom of craziness driven by the Coronavirus Pandemic. I’m taking a break from all Coronavirus talk to take us back a month ago, when "Life as We Always Knew It” was all we really knew. What a difference a month has made!!

After speaking in Maine for the Valentine’s event, we flew to California for the annual ProAthletes Outreach “Increase” conference, which we fronted by spending two days with my dear mama. As per usual, I “made" her go on a field trip each day because getting out is good for everyone. Off to Coronado we went for Paul to get his every 4–6 week haircut by his favorite barber, and while he was getting shorn, my mom and I rolled through town. This photo was taken by accidental tourists, who just happened to be from Lexington, MA!! Small world moment. The time with my mom is never enough but we’re always so grateful for any time we have with her.

On the Move (Part 2)

COS

Salt of the Earth

We recovered from the H.I.M. Marriage Conference just in time to head to Wayne, Pennsylvania, to speak for Church of the Savior’s annual conference.  It was such a privilege to return to Church of the Savior (COS).  We had spoken there twice before, once on parenting and once on marriage, and both were organized by our dear friends John and Marilyn Nugent.  With Nugents no longer at COS due to their relocation to San Francisco, we were delightfully surprised to hear from Ron Perry, the family pastor at COS, inviting us back.  We love that church and we love Ron and Kathleen Perry’s heart for marriages and families.  They are doing some very innovative and proactive programs for equipping their people and we consider it an honor to partner with them.

The conference kicked off Friday evening with two sessions and dessert in between. Ron and Kathleen Perry not only ran the evening, but they baked all the desserts for it as well.  No Costco desserts here!  They did a beautiful job and everyone who attended was truly blessed by the care and love invested in making it so lovely.

Our two sessions that night went quite well, though the audience seemed a bit tired, presumably from a long work week.  Feedback was very positive, and the enlivened audience which reconvened Saturday confirmed that a good night’s rest was needed.  Many thoughtful questions were generated by the audience of over 200 and we felt they were very engaged and listened actively.  It was truly a joy to be with them.  We received this email from one of the attendees:
“I wanted to thank you again for all that you and Paul shared this weekend at the marriage seminar.  My husband and I both appreciated your honesty and transparency.  We have had some good conversations as a result.  
Over the past several months I have been pondering why God made us (men and women) so different.  Realizing that God doesn’t do things in error, I concluded it was very intentional.  Beyond that revelation, I couldn’t figure out why.  :)  I so appreciate you sharing and explaining how you have come to appreciate the differences in each other and how you have learned to work together in spite of your differences.”
And from Ron Perry:
“I wanted to tell you and Virginia that in our senior staff meeting this morning our senior pastor was most laudatory in his comments on the way you handled the Genesis and Ephesians passages on Friday night.  He thought that it was particularly effective that you did it as a husband and wife and that you didn’t ‘water it down’ as some are in the habit of doing.  All the feedback we are getting has been most positive.  Thank you so much, it is such a privilege to work with you and Virginia.”

Ron and Kathleen Perry, family pastor at Church of the Savior, baked all the desserts for the crowd of over 200 who came out for the first two sessions of the marriage conference Friday night.  What a labor of love!

After the conference ended Saturday afternoon, we had a small break before having dinner with their part of their marriage team who plan and promote marriages at COS.   We shared lively discussions at the table among the four couples, which included the Palominos, the Shores, the Perrys, and us.  All of us share a deep passion for growing marriages and families in Christlikeness, so we found the evening stimulating and encouraging.

Part of the COS marriage team—the Perrys, the Palominos, and the Shores—returned to the Shores’ home for dessert after a wonderful dinner out Saturday night following the marriage conference.

We wrapped up our time at COS Sunday morning teaching their marriage Sunday School class.  We found the same eager and open receptivity to the teaching as we had all weekend.  Ron and Kathleen are spearheading a vital and critical ministry at COS and are a huge blessing to that congregation.  

Bill and JoAnn Shore are the “salt of the earth” and served as our hosts for the weekend at COS.
As much as we loved the hands-on ministry opportunities at COS, the highlight for us personally was getting to hang out with Bill and JoAnn Shore.  As part of the founding team of COS over 40 years ago, everyone who’s been a part of COS since its inception are familiar with the Shores and would probably understand why I said they were the highlight of our time.  Bill, who will be 81 this year, and JoAnn, his young bride of 79, will celebrate 59 years of marriage this year.  They are the epitome of those the Psalmist refers to as being “green with sap” as they continue to make kingdom work the driving force of their existence.  Their hospitality is bar-setting, from simple and delicious home cooked meals, to their relaxed, make-yourself-at-home attitude.  Their passion for God, His Word, and His people is inspiring.  Their tireless serving is impressive.  None of the “we served for years—now it’s your turn” attitude was minable.  

And their love for each other was so hope-giving.  They are living models of God’s design for marriage.  Theirs really does reflect His glory.

Paul wrote this about our time with the Shores:
“We just spent the weekend with Bill and JoAnn Shore as our hosts while we were doing a marriage conference at their church. 
Bill is 81 and JoAnn is 79.  This is a couple that delights in each other.  On Sunday, in order to arrive for the early service, Virginia and I snuck out of the house around 7:30 am.  After church we mentioned our concern that we may have wakened them when we left.  Bill said, ‘Oh, we were awake at 7 but stayed in bed and… well I guess you know.’  They are a delightful couple and delight in each other.  Every meal we ate together Bill would give JoAnn a kiss just after the prayer for the meal.  I noticed every time he walked past her in the house he would pinch her bottom or give it a loving smack. 
Bill and JoAnn have been married 59 years.  When we asked them, ‘If you had it to do over again, what would you have done differently?’ they both said, ‘Come to Christ at an earlier age.’  You don’t have to hang around Bill and JoAnn long to see their relationship with Christ is most important to them.  At 79 and 81, they are hosting dinners, Bible Studies, discipling men and women.  One teacher at the church was pointed out as the 5th generation of those Bill has discipled who have then discipled others. 
As soon as they came to Christ, they decided to put Him first and their marriage second. The Shores have been serving Him, each other, their children, and the kingdom ever since.  They are not in Florida collecting seashells, they are in Pennsylvania, serving the Lord and finding delight in Him and each other.”
Every church needs a Bill and JoAnn Shore in their congregation.  They are truly the salt of the earth.


One added bonus for us that weekend:  as only God could orchestrate, James Madison University’s women’s basketball team, whose phenomenal athletic trainer is our daughter Lisa, was playing the championship round for the Colonial Athletic Association’s title Sunday afternoon, just 2 hours from COS.  The opportunity was too good to pass up, so when Sunday School ended, we hopped in the rental car loaded with Paul’s world famous chocolate chip cookies (thanks to JoAnn Shore’s amazingly equipped kitchen and pantry!) and we drove straight to the arena.  It was such a thrill to cheer the Lady Dukes on to victory and to see them honored for all of their hard work and excellence on the court.  The win got them a bid to the first round of the NCAA tournament the following weekend (which, sadly, they lost).  But it was nothing but joy that Sunday afternoon and we felt so gifted to be there.  

Back to the Shores for dinner and interesting conversations about our life stories and such before hitting the hay in a state of exhaustion.  Though only getting 4 hours of sleep before departing at the ungodly hour of 4 am for our flight to Hawaii, we voiced no complaints, knowing we’d have 12 hours of airtime to sleep en route to Kona.  And that will be a story for my next blog.

Besides getting to see the Lady Dukes win the CAA Championship, we got to spend a few hours with my brother Frank (far left) and his son Chris, and my sister Laura and her husband David, and of course Lisa, the athletic trainer who kept that championship team on the court with her endless hours of treatments and rehab.  What a treat to be there!