Virginia Friesen
Plan Fail: The Christmas Reunion That Wasn't

We were home the WHOLE month of December and it was good.

We continued walking five miles a day, praying for snow, and preparing for our family Christmas reunion: the first one in New England since 2015 and the first all being together for Christmas since 2019.

We had very high expectations.

Ministry events in December included Engagement Matters, the Patriots women’s study, and LOTS of counseling, but that left plenty of time for decorating the house inside and out, getting together with friends, wrapping and sending packages, sewing Christmas jammies, making gingerbread houses, and preparing for our long-awaited reunion which was to commence the 22nd of December.

Plan Fail: The Christmas Reunion That Wasn't
Virginia Friesen
Around the Country in 22 Days

Since my last post on Dec. 27, we’ve only been home eight days.

Maybe that contributes to me forgetting that when I last wrote, my reflections ended with Engagement Matters (EM), which was held Dec. 4–5, and not after Christmas, which the blog post date would indicate.
Whatever the reasons, before I write about our most recent last three weeks—which literally took us to the four corners of our great nation—we must finish December. Strangely, that seems SO long ago already. But what fun to sift back through my December photo library and have many sweet memories surface.

Around the Country in 22 Days
Virginia Friesen
A Bit of Heaven on Earth

It happened.

The “decades birthday-family reunion” celebration, postponed for a full year, is now in the books, but even more deeply, in our hearts.

It was uncertain until an hour before the six flying from Oakland were to depart due to two lost Covid tests, but mercifully, new tests were done at 6 am, the results of which were registered less than 60 minutes prior to boarding.

The trip was on.

A Bit of Heaven on Earth
Virginia Friesen
More Than a Cookbook

It was a sweltering summer day in Louisiana. My 8-year-old self stood in the kitchen of my paternal grandparents’ home in Shreveport, watching with fascination as Grandma Collins stirred the hot pot of boiling figs, on their way to becoming preserves. With sweat running down her brow, just beneath the thin brown elastic that kept her hair net in place over her thinning curly hair, she turned to me and said, “You know, Virginia, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” With that piece of wisdom pronounced, she simultaneously clicked her cheek and winked her eye at her wide-eyed granddaughter, leaving an unforgettable impression.

More Than a Cookbook
Paul and Virginia
On the Move (Part 2)

My plans to write “Part 2” have been derailed by the maelstrom of craziness driven by the Coronavirus Pandemic. I’m taking a break from all Coronavirus talk to take us back a month ago, when "Life as We Always Knew It” was all we really knew. What a difference a month has made!!

After speaking in Maine for the Valentine’s event, we flew to California for the annual ProAthletes Outreach “Increase” conference, which we fronted by spending two days with my dear mama. As per usual, I “made" her go on a field trip each day because getting out is good for everyone. Off to Coronado we went for Paul to get his every 4–6 week haircut by his favorite barber, and while he was getting shorn, my mom and I rolled through town. This photo was taken by accidental tourists, who just happened to be from Lexington, MA!! Small world moment. The time with my mom is never enough but we’re always so grateful for any time we have with her.

On the Move (Part 2)

MJM Catering

Sacred Parenting

Gary Thomas speaks . . .
. . . and people listen.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

With that, Gary Thomas opened dialogue with a room full of parents seeking Godly wisdom on parenting.  Returning to New England to speak for the second Home Improvement Ministries conference in 15 months, Gary imbued a cold, wintry Saturday with tremendous value as he taught on this critically important subject.

Gary is profound.  In the midst of a Christian culture wanting easy answers, formulas and quick fixes, Gary teaches from a completely different perspective. The tagline on his best selling book Sacred Parenting reads “How raising children shapes our souls” and that casts the trajectory of his insightful teaching. “One of the greatest gifts a parent can give children is personal holiness” is the distilled truth which ran throughout his three sessions.

“The question isn’t 'How can we make them behave?' but 'How should I behave so they'll want to behave well?'”  Again and again, Gary emphasized that God's design in parenting is not just about shaping the next generation, but about sanctifying parents.

Many parenting guides subscribe to the truth that parents who walk their talk are more believable and impacting and that you can't pass on what you don't have.  While Gary's teaching is not inconsistent with these truths, the outcomes are still measured by the next generation and as important as that is, it's still not the focus of sacred parenting. “Are we growing ourselves so our children will benefit?” he posited during the opening session.

That radically different approach is what makes Gary Thomas' teaching so life changing.  Following the conference, one parent wrote  in:

The H.I.M. parenting conference far exceeded our expectations! Gary Thomas exhorted us to “parent out of reverence for God” and to embrace every minute, because the time we have with our kids is short! He also encouraged us to give the best gifts we can to our kids and those are: parents who model a growing walk with Christ and parents who prioritize their marriage relationship. The workshops were also excellent, full of great practical advice and encouragement! This event was a huge boost for our family! Thank you for putting it on!
            —Sacred Parenting Conference 2011 Attendee


Besides three rich, deep, and challenging sessions with Gary, a wide spectrum of workshops were offered.  Workshops were presented by eight different teaching couples—including an NFL player, the founder and headmaster of a private school, a cardiologist, a family practice doctor married to a software engineer who homeschool their 4 children, a senior pastor with six adopted children, a junior high pastor, an executive pastor, and a licensed social worker.  The workshop topics included media, homeschooling, teenagers, teaching your kids about sex, passing on your faith, being godly parents when you had none, balancing life and parenting when both parents work, and getting it going in the right direction with young children.  It was a privilege for us to work with such a strong team of highly-credentialed and successful people whose highest commitment is sacred parenting.

The workshop leaders introduce their topics. Each workshop was offered twice and much positive feedback was received on the excellent job done by these highly qualified teachers.

Once again we were so grateful for a tremendously servant-hearted team who staffed the conference.  Sue Martis and Barbara Steele managed the event, from publicity to registrations to on-site execution, and Jim Martis of MJM Catering took care of the food.  They had a great group around them who sold books, arranged food, directed traffic, welcomed and registered attendees, and kept the day going.  The folks at Calvary Christian Church were stellar.  Partnering with them has been such a gift.  Their belief in what we do is greatly encouraging to us personally and offering their facility is a gift.


Part of Jim and Sue Martis' team who prepared lunch.

At day’s end, our only regret was that every seat at Calvary Christian Church wasn't filled.  For those who didn't make it a priority to be there, it was a lost opportunity.  For those who did, they left changed, charged, and blessed with renewed hope, passion, and vision for this very sacred journey of parenting.


At the end of the day, we paused to thank the Lord for His presence which filled every aspect of this conference and for this great group of volunteers and H.I.M. Board members who sacrificially served to make it happen.  We are blessed beyond words.