Island Living

The 2010 CBS Summer Staff team, ready to welcome another group of family campers.

The 2010 Family Camp Program Team: front row (l-r) Olivia Parrish, Jackie Dressler, Shirlee McCoy, Megan Forbes 2nd row:  David Hathaway, Mitch Makinson, Holland Stewart, Leslie Johnston, Kady Broman, Erin Esten, Whitnee Sherman, Christy Johnston 3rd row:  Andrew Price, Adam Wood, Megan Mulles, Kaitlyn Clark, Kelsey O’Keeffe, Heather Thiel, Hannah Early, John Thiel 4th row:  Lisa Friesen, Jairus Wong, Scott Johnston, “Nature Nate” Smith, Taylor Tebay, Virginia “Mama V”  Friesen, Paul Friesen

It’s Sunday afternoon and in two short hours, we’ll welcome Family Camp 5 to Campus by the Sea.  Summer is evaporating!  We can hardly believe that in two weeks, we’ll be heading eastward to prepare for two weeks of Home Improvement Ministries Family Camps at Camp Berea in Hebron, New Hampshire.

For now, though, we’ll continue to drink in the beauty of this very “set apart” place and experience God’s faithfulness in very tangible ways.  Each Sunday morning as we wrap up our staff worship service, we reflect on what God has done among us in the preceding week and we’ve had much to celebrate.  During every camp, there have been new “births” as well as many “rebirths.”  One young 23-year-old woman who decided to follow Christ during Family Camp 2 wrote this after she returned to her home in New York City:

My goodness coming back to New York was soooo hard!  It still is hard and I am struggling every step of the way (although every moment seems slightly easier than the one before).  That first foot out of the airport and onto the grimy New York concrete was more than devastating to my soul but my heart and mind was filled with all the love, support, and knowledge I received from everyone.  Plus I returned with God.

I’ve secluded myself (in a good way) and spent my first nights at home reading and conversing with God.  We are going through what He said to me one night was my “disinfecting” process.  I like that idea.  The first couple days back, I kept saying to myself “when is this going to get easier” and then I realized that the beauty of God and living like Jesus is found in the struggle…I need to enjoy the struggle.  I also realized I should start talking to myself less and to him more.  :)  He gives much better advice!  I’ve really had to slow down which feels impossible in a place that refuses to let you. 

I’ve been reading and carrying my Bible everywhere with me (along with notes of support from CBS staff and a rock I took with me from the beach).  Just feeling the weight of it in my bag has been giving me that physical reminder that Christ is holding my hand and telling me to just walk slower and keep my eyes open.  I don’t recognize anything anymore…everything looks new.  People, stores, cars, food, trees…myself.  It’s such a mind boggling experience to be walking on the same streets I have been walking on everyday for 5 years and feel like I’ve never ONCE set foot in this place.  I’m uncomfortable…definitely…but my new skin feels so much better on me and it’s also the skin that God blessed me with and is allowing/helping me to clean.  I will learn to love it. 

I’ve reread her words many times since receiving this email, as they indicate such a genuine transformation towards Christlikeness.  Please pray for her and several others who have put their faith in Christ this summer.

This is why we do what we do!  We love being part of kingdom building at CBS and are truly overwhelmed with gratitude that we are in the midst of our 35th summer here.

Family Camp 2 was rich with Howard Clark’s teaching and a full complement of wonderful families.  We had many first generation, young Christian families in camp that week and it’s just so refreshing to witness their hunger and thirst for truth and practical, Biblical wisdom.  It was also a very special joy for us to have Grant and Emily Williams and their three precious daughters with us at family camp for the first time.  After years of invitations, they made it — all the way from St. Louis — and they’ve told us since that they’ve already recruited several families to return with them next year.  I’m not sure what is more exciting to us than introducing dear friends to Campus by the Sea — and having them love it, too.

Grant and Emily with Madeline, Sarah Elizabeth, and Meegan, on the pier at CBS.

All too quickly, we said farewell to this group of campers and welcomed Family Camp 3.  With 216 campers squeezed into camp, we had a “full house” and we had full energy to go with it. Ray Johnston, who lacks no enthusiasm or vitality, was his usual dynamic, motivating self and it was great to have him as our speaker.  It was extra joyful this year as three of his kids are on staff and they make him look really good.  :)

To camp this week came a long time family who had just “taken in” two 18-year-olds who needed a home.  One young man had been living with his grandmother, who had passed away two weeks earlier.  He agreed to come to camp with them, and after many conversations through the week and much wrestling with God, he made a decision to follow Christ on Saturday morning before heading back to the mainland.  Paul and Ray prayed for him in front of the whole community at our final session and then we sent him off with a new Bible and several books to help him on his journey.  It was a powerful expression of God’s grace among us being worked out in incredible ways.

The week ended with Paul and Ray baptizing all four Johnston young adults, which was another powerful expression of God’s redemptive grace.  We dedicated three of them on the veranda of the Lighthouse 18 years ago, so it was such a great picture of God’s faithfulness in their lives to celebrate their baptisms here.

Leslie, Carol, Ray, Scott, Mark, and Christy Johnston celebrated their baptism at the Rock Jetty during family camp and Lisa, Paul, and I shared their joy (along with the rest of the staff.)

During Family Camp 3, I made a quick one day trip to the mainland to attend the funeral of David Engel, the elder brother of Gene (and Teri) Engel, long time friends and family campers. “Uncle Dave” came to CBS every summer with the Engels and we grew to love him deeply.  Though he had some mental disadvantages, he taught us so much about what really matters in life as he loved life and lived with great contentment.  Gene and Teri Engel, and their kids Matthew and Krista (and David Hart) — with whom Uncle Dave lived — also taught us so much about living sacrificially and pouring yourself out in service for others. The service, lead by Gary Gaddini, was a great celebration of a life well lived and of our hope in the eternal truth of the gospel. Though it’s always hard to leave during family camp, it was a day well spent.

And then came Family Camp 4, and along with it a full contingent of extended family as well as immediate family.  We were thrilled to have Gabe and Kari and yet unborn grandson spend the week with us.  :)  “Baby Boy Garcia” did really well at camp and seemed to enjoy the food, the worship, and even the ocean as his mother took him floating.  Very fun.

David and Cherylyn Hegg were with us to teach and David’s messages, which always inspire, were challenging and thought provoking as he taught on the subjects of the Christian and politics, ecology, health, and the church.  The MP3’s are on the CBS website (or go directly to the audio file page) and are definitely worth listening to.  A highlight of the week was having Danny and Rayna Oertli do a concert for the whole camp and as always, they did not disappoint.

David and Cherylyn Hegg were as engaging in the Crows Nest during their teaching sessions as they were outside, on the beach, as they engaged with many family campers.

It was such a personal joy for us to have quite a few of Paul’s family with us.  Sandy and Wayne Clark, Paul’s oldest sister, faithfully attended family camp all the years of raising their four children, and now their four children are raising their children here.  We love that.  Additionally, Paul’s sister Beth, who was widowed in April, came back to camp for the first time after a long absence, and it was great to watch her enjoy snorkeling, hiking, and family camp in general.  Carol and Wayne Herbst, his youngest sister, made it out from their home in Avalon for hamburgers at the beach, along with nephew Brian Rottschafer and his family.  We loved every minute we had with each of them.

Lisa, Kari and five-weeks-from-due-date grandson, and Gabe, enjoyed the banquet Friday night.

Our extended Friesen family ready for the banquet at Family Camp 4.

Lisa, Beth Friesen Smith, Kari, and Gabe enjoy the waterfront.

And if that wasn’t enough, we were thrilled to have several “chosen family” friends from Boston come to camp for the first time.  Tom and Michele Sweeney and their four children joined Carter and Tracey Welch and their sons at CBS.  Both families have been faithful family campers in New England at our H.I.M. Family Camp and pretty quickly noticed that they weren’t on Newfound Lake any longer.  :)  The Welches recently relocated to Santa Rosa, CA, but we still count them as Bostonians.  :)  Those two families along with Doug and Julie Macrae, who were making their third trip to CBS, made a huge statement on their self-declared “Red Sox Appreciation Day” by donning various hats and shirts bearing the Red Sox logo.  The Angels fans, who were quite prolific, extended courtesy but no support.

The Welch family, Doug and Julie Macrae, David Hathaway (CBS staff from Andover, MA), and the Sweeneys (Caroline not pictured) enjoyed a week of family camp together on a much bigger “pond.”

One more highlight to mention: Alton “Biggie” Green, staff from the past two summers, joined our staff to serve Family Camp 4 and by popular request, did an encore performance of the “bunny song.”  The history of this fabled performance began many years ago, when Imogene Davis first performed it at the weekly talent show.  “Biggie” apprenticed under Imogene two years ago and has since performed it without her at most family camps.  Imogene, who turned 85 at Family Camp 1 this summer, entertained us with her rendition earlier in the summer, and Biggie succumbed to peer pressure and agreed to perform at the closing session.  Unfortunately, the bunnies couldn’t be found, so at the last moment, a snake and a chicken filled in and Maggie Oertli began her apprenticeship.  It was four minutes of hilarity and a memorable end to the week.

“Biggie” Green and Maggie Oertli improvise their props for the Bunny Song.

Once again, we were shocked by how quickly the end of family camp came, and as many shared at the banquet, we celebrated the work of God among us through the week.  Family after family declared the importance of CBS in their family’s spiritual life. Family camp is consistently described as a touchstone place; a mile marker; the center of their family calendar year; the safest place on earth; the only “distraction-free zone” in their world; the only place every one in the family can agree on to go for vacation; a true vacation with a purpose; the place where God meets them.  What grace to be a part of this amazing work in this glorious place!

During the break between camps, we hang with the staff and experience great community moments.  This past Saturday night, Paul organized an all-staff sports competition which included knock-out, volleyball, and ping-pong.  It was a blast and virtually everyone was involved.  The festivities culminated with Paul’s world famous chocolate chip cookies made into ice cream sandwiches.  We’ve so enjoyed great unity as a staff and have bonded well as a team.

The staff dig into Paul’s cookies turned ice cream sandwiches after the sports night competition.

Only two weeks left at CBS.  With joy, we’ll continue to serve and experience God in this amazing place called Campus by the Sea. Thanks for your prayers and partnership.  We are blessed.

Home Again . . .

As I sit in our cabin this morning, I can hear the happy voices of children at play, the rowdy voices of junior and senior highers playing a crazy game on the volleyball court, and I can see small groups of adults sitting around picnic tables studying the Luke 15 passage on the Prodigal Son/Father.  Though “June gloom” hangs over the water making it look and feel cooler than a summer day should feel, no one’s spirits are dampened.  Family Camp is in session!

I can hardly believe that we’ve welcomed our second group of family campers in this young 2010 season or that we’ve already spent two full weeks here.  It sounds like a common refrain from many around us.

At any rate, back to June 14, Lisa and I arrived at Los Angeles International Airport safely from London, 11.5 hrs after departing Heathrow, were picked up by a dear friend who took us to the boat terminal, and were in an orientation meeting at Campus by the Sea by 7 p.m. Monday, June 14.  It was a full day.  :)  The Lord was extra gracious in allowing a mix-up in our ticketing from London that resulted in our being bumped to first class . . . so suspend any sympathetic feelings for our grueling return trip.  :)  We thoroughly enjoyed every indulged moment of being in the lap of luxury for 11.5 hours.  :)

Our first week here was spent as a staff team, developing both the program and our relationships with one another. Paul and I couldn’t have been more encouraged than we were by our program team.  Our morning discussions on the Bible passages were deep, insightful, and lively.  These staff have creative, bright minds combined with authentic hearts for Jesus—and 20 of the 23 are grown-up family campers.  :) We are so, so thankful for the “harvest.”

Between orientation week and Family Camp 1, Lis, Julie, and I stole away to San Luis Obispo for 36 hours to celebrate the marriage of Nicole Framberger (a former roommate of the girls in SLO) and Brad Kyker.  It was a joyful celebration and we were really happy that it was possible to attend.

The very happy bride Nicole is flanked by Lisa, me, and Julie.

And then came Family Camp 1.  We love family camp.  We love everything about it—from the moment our campers arrive to serenading their departure with the decades-old refrain, “We love you campers, oh yes we do . . .”  Our first week of camp did not disappoint.

Tim Theule of Grace Church, San Luis Obispo, was our speaker for the week and for the fifth year in a row, did a fabulous job of teaching Biblical truth in a compelling manner.  He taught out of the Proverbs, practically and with challenge, and was well received.  We love having Tim and Susie and their four children with us; there is so much relational and spiritual health in their family.

Times of family worship highlight every morning and evening. Here, all ages enjoy doing the “The Butterfly Song” which has been a favorite at CBS since 1976.  No one is ever too young or too old to be reminded of the truth in the refrain, “But I just thank you Father for making me ME.”  Our worship team, lead by John Thiel, is doing a terrific job.

Our very creative and dramatic elementary teaching staff have developed great skits to communicate the truths of the prodigal son story.  In this photo, our 4’s and 5’s teachers, Jackie Dressler and Taylor Tebay, head off to class with their students.

The 5th and 6th grade class, lead by David Hathaway, Whitnee Sherman, and Leslie Johnston, make their way down to the waterfront for their morning activity.

“Nature Nate” (aka Nathan Smith) reveals the natural world to very engaged campers.  He has developed two programs, one featuring reptiles and insects and the other, marine biology.  Everyone loves Nature Nate!

Kaitlyn Clark keeps two of her young charges happy and safe in the playyard.

The adult small groups are an important part of our program, and we often receive feedback that they’re the highlight of the week.

The annual game show, this year entitled “Who Doesn’t Want to Eat with the Pigs” was a big hit and fun was had by all (especially because the women won!)

Colin Mansfield and his parents, Dennis and Susan, leave camp a bit early to get Colin to Westpoint. Colin has grown up at CBS family camps and it was a great privilege to send him off with a prayer of commitment from his CBS family.

Another highlight of Family Camp 1 was Josh Robertson’s baptism.  Josh decided to follow Christ last summer at camp after having a marathon question and answer time with his counselors and wanted to publicly declare his commitment to Christ through baptism this summer.  Here he stands with his brother Zach, his great-grandmother Imogene Davis, and his grandmother Janice.

Paul’s morning devotions with the kids starts the day off in the right direction.

The weekly milk carton boat race was enjoyed by many.  The Hazlebecks and Tim and Haaken Theule proudly displayed their creative design which managed to place in the race.

The week flew by.  All too quickly, we had our final session Saturday morning and sent a wonderful group of families back across the channel.  As we debriefed with our staff, we were overwhelmed by the truth that because of God’s grace and power, our finite efforts would be used to impact eternity. What a privilege!

We recreated as a staff Saturday afternoon and that night did our annual “Full Moon Loop Hike.” After watching the waxing moon all week grow in size, we were anticipating a glorious night for our hike -- but unfortunately, clouds rolled in and obscured its presence.  So, undaunted, we hiked the full moon-less loop hike and had a blast.  Oh the delights of island life!

On the full moon loop hike, we take a break and play in the playground at Haypress.  Teeter totters and swings were never more fun!

Sunday follows Saturday, and a whole new group of family campers arrive.  We’re now halfway through Family Camp 2 and things in camp continue to go really well.  We are so thankful for the leadership of Dave and Kim Noble and the rest of the team here.  They’re doing a great job.  The new chef, Louie Mays, has elevated the already good camp food to restaurant level and we’re all loving what he has brought to the kitchen.

Best of all for us personally is having Lisa here for the whole summer, providing incredible leadership to our program staff.  Specifically she’s directing the junior high/high school program and is doing a fantastic job.  It is such a gift to us to have her spend her summer this way.

So we are thankful.  So thankful.  And feeling very much at home.

From Tenting to Tea Partying

Cruising at an altitude of 35,000' en route from London to California, this 11-hour flight affords me opportunities to catch up on some neglected quiet activities . . . like my through-the-Bible-in-a-year-with-D.A.-Carson readings, journaling, and now blogging. No complaints from me regarding this long flight. I love enforced quiet and stillness, since I seem to have a hard time making it happen on my own.

It’s been quite a month since my last post. Our days in Vero Beach came to an end and we returned to the saddle refreshed and ready to go. Which was a good thing, because we arrived late Thursday night, May 20, and Paul spoke at a men’s event Friday night. This is the second year in a row he has spoken for this group, which is lead by Alan Siegel, and he loves the spirit of the group. He was very well-received.

Saturday we spoke for a marriage conference in Easton, also run by Alan Siegel, and had a wonderful day with many eager couples, from young marrieds to older marrieds. We were very heartened to receive this message from one of the couples who attended:

You and Paul were probably the best speakers I’ve ever heard. I looked at my husband’s outline and was surprised at his honesty and felt he tried to treat me nicely yesterday. He, too, thought you both were very good speakers. Thank you.

We’ve had an ongoing dialogue with this couple and God is at work in a big way in their marriage. Praise Him!

We drove from Easton to Hingham and were privileged to speak for a Couple’s Coffee House hosted by South Shore Baptist Church. Bill and Rebecca Haeck spear-headed the evening and did a masterful job transforming their social hall into a welcoming, candle-lit, cozy coffee house. We always love partnering with SSBC and this was no exception.

Bill and Rebecca Haeck hosted the Couples Coffee Shop at South Shore Baptist Church on Saturday, May 22.

In the meantime, house guests arrived! Our very dear friends, John, April, and Lizzie Aleman, came to town for a graduation and we were thrilled to have them crash at our house. We spent all of Sunday together, first worshiping at our home church, Highrock Church in Arlington, and then relaxing over Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and home-grilled bbq. We thoroughly enjoyed reconnecting with them and building on our almost three decades of friendship through Campus by the Sea. Their kids, Nathan and Lizzie, have both served on staff at CBS in the past, as well as on family camp staff in New England. Their family is a great encouragement to us personally.

The Aleman family (far right) joined us for worship at High Rock Church in Arlington, and reconnected with family campers Tim and Linda Brown and family and Heather and Lydia Dietz.

Monday and Tuesday we both had a variety of appointments and “stuff” to do before counseling all day Wednesday. And then off again, this time me alone, to surprise our daughter Kari on her 30th birthday, May 27. What a fun surprise! By Friday night, all three girls were together celebrating her and we snuck off to a hotel in downtown Sacramento to further the celebration as a last getaway before baby arrives. Though everything didn’t exactly go as planned, it was a memorable and honoring time. Hardly 48 hours passed before I was flying back to join the H.I.M. Memorial Day Family Tenting Weekend!

In honor Kari’s 30th, Baby Garcia received some Red Sox garb from us . . . and some Giants garb from his dad!

The end of our hotel getaway was spent soaking in some Vitamin D poolside. (l-r: Lisa, Julie, Kari)

Of course the tenting weekend had started without me, and Paul was there with Jim and Sue Martis to make sure it happened. Twenty-five families (numbering 130 people) pitched their tents or drove their rigs to Myles Standish State Park for this annual event, and except for a brief (easy for me to say since I wasn’t there yet) two-hour shower at dinnertime on Saturday, the weekend was graced with fabulous weather (which means a whole lot when you’re camping in a tent!)

I joined the party on Sunday and everything was going swimmingly. In fact, many were swimming . . . or fishing, or biking. Regardless of the activity, everyone was clearly having a grand time.

As it goes, each evening the community gathers around a common meal (planned and prepared by Big Jim Martis of MJM Catering) which is followed by a time of worship, devotions, and s’mores. Mike and Seth Allen sacrificially drove to the campsite every night to lead worship and did a wonderful job again this year, and Paul lead the devotions in the inimitable Paul Friesen fashion.

The highlight of the weekend came Sunday night when Paul brought Thora Eames to camp for the evening. Thora, at 92, is still as spry and full of life as ever and young and old alike delighted in having her join the fun. As part of devotions that night, Paul interviewed Thora in front of the whole group. Everyone listened with rapt attention when Paul, acknowledging that Thora had experienced much loss these past years, asked her how she had managed with so much grief to keep going with a smile on her face. “Oh Paul,” Thora responded, “God has been so faithful to me!! I don’t have anything to complain about. Every day I wake up and thank Him for being so good to me.”

It was a recordable moment. Thora is the poster child for the truism: “Life is 10% circumstance, 90% attitude.” Thank you, Thora. We were all so blessed by her presence!

Paul interviews Thora, while Faith Metaxotos secures her bond with “Granny Thora.”

The weekend wrapped up on Memorial Day with our second annual Memorial Day parade, organized by the Barkers and the Cranes. Glenn Franks was selected to be the Grand Marshall in recognition of his service to our country. With most of the children mounted on their bikes and sporting patriotic colors (including glittery tattoos), and accompanied by the voices of an approximate 20-voice choir singing patriotic melodies, two laps were made around the camping circle to commemorate those who have protected our many freedoms, including the freedom to worship.

Glenn Franks served as the Grand Marshall of the second annual Memorial Day parade.

On your marks, get set, ride - carefully and slowly. :)

And the 2010 Memorial Day Family Tenting Weekend came to a close, with some families adding extra-curricular activities afterward, like picnicking at another lake and then making an ice cream stop as the exclamation point to an already great time.

The carefree escape from the worries of life came to a screeching halt Tuesday morning as we spent the day in our office counseling. We’re never far from the painful realities of life, which show up in so much brokenness relationally. By God’s grace, however, we’re privileged to seen much growth and healing in many marriages.

Early Wednesday morning, June 2, we drove to Cornwall, CT, to join the pastoral staff from Valley Community Baptist Church (VCBC) for the fourth year in a row. We’re so honored to be re-invited to speak into the lives of this amazing group of fellow ministers, lead by Jay Abramson and Tim Ponzani. We feel very personally connected to each of them by now and love just being with them. We led four sessions, dealing with ministry and personal issues connected to family and marriage, but mostly we just hung out, played games, took walks, and ate fabulous meals. It was as refreshing as it was productive, and we were most touched by them sending us off by praying specifically for us as we prepare for a very full summer. We’re so pleased to be looking forward to spending another week with Jay and Liz Abramson as they’ll be speaking at one of our H.I.M. Family Camps at Camp Berea in August. They are salt of the earth people.

The pastoral staff of Valley Community Baptist Church gathers for a photo op at retreat’s end.

Someone recently asked if I’ve really ever read the book Margin by Richard Swensen (since I often recommend it) and my emphatic “yes” confirms that just because you’ve read something doesn’t mean you’ve been changed by it.

The question was prompted by the description of what followed our conference for VCBC. We got home Friday early afternoon, and spent the balance of the day packing and preparing for the weeks ahead. Saturday was the annual H.I.M. Pool Party, hosted by servant-hearted and unflappable Doug and Julie Macrae. I (along with daughter Lisa, and friends Pam Barker and Kelly Plosker) left the party early to drive to Woodstock, Vermont, to run the Covered Bridges Half-Marathon Sunday morning, June 6.

Richard, Kit, and Beth Hendricks, and Lisa Friesen were some of the pool party attendees.

Which we did. In pouring rain (I had prayed specifically for it not to be a hot race, and it wasn’t!), we ran the 13.1 absolutely gorgeous course, and then made the 3-hour drive home to shower, finish packing, and fly out of Logan at 10 p.m. for London.

It does seem kind of crazy now, but losing a whole day of the London trip for rest and sanity seemed like a terrible trade-off when we made the plans. And besides, when we made the plane reservations, we thought the race started at 7 am. When we found out it didn’t start til 10:15 am, we felt a little bit of pressure to set a new course record. Even though we didn’t, we made it with plenty of time to spare.

Thankfully, it all went like clock-work. Lisa and I cut 7 full minutes off our last half-marathon and definitely didn’t overheat. And I even talked during this race. Back in November when we did our first half-marathon together, I stunned Lisa by not uttering a single word during the entire 13.1 miles. I couldn’t afford to give up any breath for non-essentials.

Pre-race photo: Lisa, me, Pam Barker, and Kelly Plosker.

This was a wonderful experience all around. Beautiful course, great friends, and a wonderful husband who drove up Sunday to ferry us to the start and from the finish, as well as to cheer us on and get finish line photos. We’re already eager to do it again.

Post-race photo: 13.1 soggy miles later. :)

The past week, we’ve had the great delight of experiencing London for the first time. This trip was a graduation gift to Lisa, in honor of her successfully completing her master’s degree, and London was the destination because her best childhood friend, Kelsey Offield, is studying there. Kelsey’s mom, Wendy, is one of my dearest friends, so the four of us spend the week together, dredging up unforgettable moments from our life’s journey together over the past 27 years, as well as making many new memories together.

Add to that the “only God could’ve made this happen” moment when we found out that our chosen family friends John and Marilyn Nugent would be in London at the same time, and you have two women who feel very, very personally loved by our gracious heavenly Father.

So we’ve spent the last six days exploring a new land and seeing come alive the photos and stories related to the UK we’ve seen and heard all our lives. We experienced most of the sights and sounds by foot (and my pedometer kept track, informing us that we averaged 10 miles a day) and loved most every minute of it. We ate great food, saw great theater, saw historical sites, and fell in love with the quaint charm of this country which served as a prototype for New England over 300 years ago. We visited Stonehenge and Bath. We had afternoon tea. We were privileged to be in the country for the “Trooping of the Colors” in honor of the Queen’s birthday, and we stood on the parade route, 20 yards from the Royal Family as they rode by on horseback or in carriages. We were quiet about our heritage Saturday night when the USA tied the UK in the first round of World Cup Soccer but secretly thrilled and so proud of our team. :) Along with the Nugents, we worshiped at the Holy Trinity Church of Brompton, the home of the ALPHA course developed by their senior pastor, Nicky Gumbel.

Lisa and Kelsey in front of the Jane Austen Centre in Bath. They never did find Mr. Darcy, though you can be sure they looked!

With Wendy, Marilyn, and John, ready to see “Les Miserables”

At the “Trooping of the Colors” - Queen Elizabeth parades by in her carriage.

Kelsey and Wendy were wonderful hostesses, and John and Marilyn were great traveling companions. It would be hard to improve on the trip, unless it would be reclaiming the day Lisa was side-lined with the stomach flu. Even there, God was so gracious to protect the rest of us.

Though there were many highlights, the highest light of all was seeing “Les Miserables.” We’ve seen it multiple times by now, but never have we been more moved by the clarity of the message of grace. Maybe its because I’ve lived so much more of life now than I had 20 years ago when I saw it for the first time - and am so much more aware of how completely dependent I am on His grace - or maybe its because I’ve seen His grace be so transformative in my own life as well as in the lives of so many we come alongside. Whatever, I was profoundly touched by the play and challenged anew to walk in grace in a deeper way.

So now, the UK is in our rear view mirror, and when we land in several hours, we’ll head directly to Campus by the Sea for our 35th summer. That’s beginning to sound like a long time. We believe we have a wonderful summer staff assembled and can’t wait to see what God will do in our midst in the next seven weeks.

Sunrise . . . Sunset from Vero Beach

Sunrise May 15, 2010 . . . Vero Beach, Florida

From a lazy perch in Vero Beach, Florida, Paul and I are getting some much needed R&R. The essentials of the day are behind us—running, walking the beach, taking a dip, reading in the sun (briefly)—so it’s time to “work.” First on my list today is making a blog post.

Our time in Sacramento, starting with the sixth annual Thrive conference April 29 - May 1, was adrenaline producing. Bayside Church of Granite Bay, led by our dynamic friend Ray Johnston, knows how to make it happen and this conference is the poster child for their incredibly creative vision of encouraging those in ministry so they can better encourage those in their congregations. Great speakers, hysterical comedians, thoughtful gestures (like free snacks between sessions), and vigorous worship make this a conference well worth attending and being a part of. Paul and I consider it a great privilege to be workshop presenters each year. This year our workshop was entitled “Got Sex?” and we attempted to give a Biblical view of sexuality. We recently received this email from a young woman who attended:

I wanted to express a heart felt thank you to the two of you for providing such a valuable workshop at Thrive, 2010. I was reluctant to go to your workshop and felt satan telling me all kinds of reasons why I shouldn’t go. I am so thankful I was able to hear and learn from you and to finally learn more about how God designed me and what He has in store for me as a wife.

Thank you for getting to the heart of the matter — Marital Sex — and for sharing yourselves, your wisdom, and of course God’s Word.

Virginia, thank you especially for your listening ear, words of wisdom, and your prayer for me afterwards. I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, one that I have been caring around since my early childhood when my father abused me when I was 3. Now, a mother of a 3-year-old and 1-year-old, it makes me determined to protect my children and teach them how God designed our bodies for good and NOT harm. I also feel the need to recommit to my marriage the way God designed it.

Again, I can not tell you how appreciative I am for the work you are doing!

May God continue to bless your ministry and of course, your marriage.

We are so thankful for God’s faithfulness to take our insufficient efforts and make them into something life-changing.

Thrive was also a great reconnecting and networking place. We met up with many dear friends in ministry, including the whole ministry team from BOSS (the church Gabe and Kari serve), and we had many fun moments of laughter as well as many “catch up” conversations.

Part of the ministry team from BOSS, featuring our daughter Kari and grandson, front and center in the photo. :)

Following Thrive, we spoke at a mini-marriage conference for BOSS on Sunday and Monday nights. One couple even flew in 3,000 miles to attend! Doug and Julie Macrae might have had ulterior motives to their trip . . . after all, they’ve heard us speak more than a few times. We’re suspicious that what prompted their attendance was hearing that Gabe’s parents gave our grandson a “Giants” outfit for Gabe’s birthday . . . and Macraes quickly countered with appropriate gear for the little guy, delivered in person. :) We so enjoyed having the Macraes out for so many reasons!

Gabe and Kari and Doug and Julie proudly display our grandson’s favorite gifts to date. :)

Doug and Julie arrived in time to join us for Sunday morning services at BOSS.

The marriage conference went well, all sports team talk aside. We loved the couples who attended and have confidence that some of them will be used to do marriage ministry at BOSS in the future.

We flew “home” to Massachusetts on Tuesday, May 4, and counseled all day the Cinco de Mayo. We were encouraged by a number of our sessions to see the transforming work of God happening in struggling marriages.

I spent all day (and night) Thursday finishing Lisa’s 21st birthday rite-of-passage scrapbook. Take heart if you feel behind on life: her trip was six years ago. :) And had I not done copious journaling on that trip, the scrapbook would’ve been a collection of photos . . . but not a whole lot more! My journal provided me with such important insights, lessons, and moments too important to forget, reinforcing my belief that “the weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory.” I was thrilled to successfully complete her album in time to begin our drive to Harrisonburg, Virginia, leaving Bedford at 3:30 a.m. Friday for her graduation at 7 p.m. that evening. :) Yes, we’re crazy. It’s actually a great time to drive if you can stay awake. We made it safely to Harrisonburg at 12:30 p.m. and got to enjoy watching Lisa’s softball team play ball at 3 that afternoon.

What a joy it was to attend her graduation....Actually, better said, what a joy it was to see her receive her diploma, get her master’s hood, and meet her profs and colleagues. Two and a half hours of watching all the grad students get hooded was a bit painful for these tired old folks, but we managed to be awake for her great moment. We celebrated with a very late dinner at a really great restaurant.

Lisa received her masters in exercise physiology from James Madison University and has accepted a position there as athletic trainer for their Division 1 Women’s Soccer Team.

Off with the purple graduation robe and ready for dinner.

After graduation, she was greeted by this poster made by her roomies. :)

She was totally surprised by her scrapbook, and we lingered over it, page by page, reliving the wonderful memories of her rite-of-passage journey in 2004.

The desire to run early Saturday a.m. (remember Lisa and I are running a half marathon June 6) lost out to the desire to sleep (we all had serious sleep deficits at this point) so we had a lazy start to the day. Lisa had to work that afternoon as the girls had their last regular season game, so we enjoyed seeing her team play one more time. That was followed by their senior awards barbeque which we were so thrilled to be there for! Lisa’s head coach started the awards night by giving a lengthy tribute to Lisa, which included naming her the “best athletic trainer I’ve had in my 20 years of coaching.” What a joy to share that moment with Lis.

Coach Katie Flynn honors Lisa with an “action shot” of Lisa treating one of her athletes.

We spent a lovely Mother’s Day in Alexandria with my parents and my sister and her husband. And then we made the long drive home, arriving at 2:30 a.m. Monday.

Mother’s Day in Alexandria with one human and one canine granddaughter.

You’ve probably figured out the beat: home in time for a full day of counseling on Tuesday, and then off to faraway places on Wednesday. We are in what has become one of our favorite places on earth . . . Vero Beach, Florida. Thanks to the kind generosity of Doug and Julie Macrae, we’ve had a week of true R and R. They were with us the first four days — very memorable days. On Thursday, they introduced us to the world of geocaching. What fun!!! It’s a treasure hunt for adults (or families!) in case you’re unfamiliar with it. We had a blast, and by day’s end, had “discovered” 14 caches.

Our first “cache” at Riverside Veteran’s Park.

Another very memorable thing we did was watch the space shuttle launch from Cocoa Beach on Friday. How blessed were we that the timing of the launch coincided with our days here! It was truly spectacular and gave us a whole new appreciation for the size and scope of such missions. What a treat!

We were 10 miles from launch from our perch in Cocoa Beach but that was plenty close!

We were a little too close to this alligator on our drive back to Vero, but Paul manage to protect all of us. Whew!

This would be a victory pose. :)

After all that geocaching, we had a lovely evening with Doug’s parents, Don and Mary Macrae.

It’s been good to be here, to catch our breath, and to be caught by God. There are not a lot of places we truly relax and disconnect, but this is one of them. It is a huge blessing to have access to this getaway.

With sunrises and sunsets bookending the days, we are more than aware of the goodness and presence of God in our lives. We’ve celebrated so much these weeks — from the healthy progression of Kari’s pregnancy, to Lisa’s graduation, to Julie’s wonderful and confirming time in Uganda and her safe return — we give all praise and glory to Him. From marriage conferences to workshops to counseling, we are so aware that apart from Him, we are nothing. We’re more aware than ever that He is our hope. He is our strength. He is our refuge. In Him and Him alone is true life. We celebrate that life!

There's no place like the south . . .

Fresh off the “Worth It” conference and more counseling, we flew to Ft. Worth, Texas, to speak at a marriage conference for Hallmark Baptist Church. Sean and Janelle Willeford, friends through Campus by the Sea, convinced their pastor to invite us and we’re so glad they did! Over dinner Thursday night (which featured guacamole made right at the table!), we connected on a heart and conviction level with Pastor Mike and his wife Diane, who have faithfully labored in ministry together for over 38 years. We were so encouraged to hear about their adult children who are faithfully serving the Lord and to get a sense of their vision for His work at Hallmark Baptist. It is a church with a huge heart for missions. We actually stayed in one of the two “missionary homes” that they maintain right on their church property. These homes are used by missionaries home on furlough, or preparing to go on to the field, or any other need related to missions. What a great idea!

We had most of Friday free before kicking off the marriage conference that evening, so we drove to Coppell to meet my cousin and his wife, Terry and Sunny, for breakfast. The rest of the day was very low-keyed as we relaxed and prepared for the conference. We were very thankful for some “down” time which helped us catch our breath.

Using a creative approach, Sean and Janelle had us speak for an hour, from 6:30 to 7:30, and then, with childcare provided for the rest of the evening, they sent the couples out for a dinner date. Brilliant! We enjoyed our evening on a triple date with Sean’s parents, Mike and Deni Willeford (who had driven in from Visalia, California, to take care of their grandchildren during the conference) and Sean and Janelle. “Salt Grass” served up some great steak and sweet potatoes and we felt very Texan eating there.

Our triple date with Mike and Deni Willeford, and Sean and Janelle Willeford (with their two little ones, Ashton and Aaron). Sean and Janelle are preparing to be career missionaries.

It rained and poured all day Saturday, which made it easy to keep a captive audience. They were both captive and interactive; they posed some well thought out questions which is always a good indicator that they’re wrestling with the content. A delicious catered barbeque lunch was especially appreciated given the rainy weather.

Some of those attending the marriage conference at Hallmark Baptist Church enjoy a yummy catered bbq lunch.

Our commitment to speak on Sunday at their services was renegotiated (thanks to the gracious release of Pastor Mike) due to the death of Paul’s sister Beth’s husband, Clint Smith, so Paul flew off to Rogue River, Oregon, to participate in his services on Sunday, April 18. Concurrently, I flew to San Diego to surprise Julie for her 25th birthday, which was Monday, April 19. Though we would’ve preferred being both places together, we felt that dividing and conquering was most prudent.

Paul was really thankful for his time with his sisters at Clint’s funeral. It was a wonderful celebration of Clint’s life and their 25 years of marriage, which we helped them celebrate last June.

And I was really thankful for my time with Julie and her roommate. It turned out to be great timing to not only celebrate this “rite of passage” birthday with Julie, but also to hang out with her roommate who is just beginning her journey of walking with Christ. The time, though short, was very sweet on both counts. Before I could unpack, I was back on a red-eye to Boston Monday night in order to counsel on Tuesday. :)

Jules and I celebrate her 25th with fresh sushi. Paul wasn’t too sad to miss this meal. :)

In spite of being in the middle of intense finals, Julie’s classmates at physical therapy school took time to surprise her with a cake in honor of her birthday.

After a full day of counseling on April 20, Paul flew to California Wednesday to attend another funeral. This one was for our long-time friend and co-worker at Campus by the Sea, Rick Durvay, who dropped dead ten days earlier while mountain biking on Catalina. It’s suspected that a heart attack took him at the young age of 58, so his death came as a big shock. Though we’ve had very limited contact with Rick in the recent past, his long history of serving at CBS as a mechanic and general all-around fix-it man makes him unforgettable. Paul was delighted to reconnect with many veteran CBS staff at the funeral and was especially encouraged by the spiritual vitality of so many of them. It was of great comfort to those who loved Rick to be assured of his commitment to Christ as expressed in a piece he wrote by hand just months before dying.

Rick’s death was another sobering reminder of the vaporous nature of life on earth.

Meanwhile I flew to Lake Charles, Louisiana, on Thursday and Paul joined me there Friday for our second annual southwest Louisiana marriage conference, hosted by Mark and Deb McCormick and Water’s Edge Church. Deb is one of the most creative, competent, and energetic women we know (check out her website http://www.debmccormick.com/) and she did a great job of putting this conference together. Recruiting from eight different area churches, she pulled off a cooperative event that served many.

The lead pastor of Water’s Edge, Tony Bourque, and his wife Rachel have a heart and a passion for doing church authentically and relevantly. Their two-year-old church plant, which rents the local movie theater for Sunday morning services, is growing by leaps and bounds and Tony was delighted to partner with the McCormicks to have a focused “shot in the arm” for the marriages of their congregation. The response on Saturday was very positive.

Paul and I preached at the movie theater Sunday morning and that was a first! Kinda cool, actually. It did seem like the smell of popcorn should’ve come wafting through the place...

We’ve spent the last two days reconnecting with my extended family in New Orleans and Mandeville. What a joy to have another opportunity to hang out with Uncle Don and Aunt Ann, my mother’s only living sibling. An early morning 3-mile walk on the shore of Lake Pontchartrain started Monday a.m. and that walk helped to counter the effects of the beignets and cafe au lait we later consumed at Cafe du Monde in the French Quarters. After poking around in New Orleans for several hours, we made our way to St. Martinville, the home of the Evangeline Oak that Longfellow poetically wrote of. It is also the home of my mother’s French heritage, as her great-grandfather, Louis Pierre Theriot, was raised there. We stayed in an ancient convent/house turned B & B, the Old Castillo Inn, and celebrated our 34th anniversary which we barely marked on the 24th due to the marriage conference. It was very sweet.

After exploring the town of St. Martinville on Tuesday a.m., we drove to Lake Martin and walked the 5-mile trail encircling the lake/swamp/bayou. What a fascinating place! It hosts a rookery, which was teeming with nesting Snowy White Egrets, Blue Heron, Roseate Spoonbills, and several other species of beautiful birds. Dozens and dozens of nests, perched in trees, filled with parents and babies, could be viewed from the trail and how fortunate for us to be there while so much was going on. Besides birds, Lake Martin is known for its alligator populations and we were fortunate enough to be able to photograph this guy who was posing on the banks of the swamp. Very exciting for nature lovers like us! We felt like we were in a different world.

This guy posed so nicely. And yes, he was alive. He eventually slithered back into the swamp.

By now hungry, we had some great Cajun food at a local spot (broiled catfish topped with shrimp etouffee) and then back to Sulphur for a family night with the McCormicks which included some rec baseball featuring their middle son, Bryce, and pizza. We love the three boys, but are so aware of how different a boy house is from a girl house!

And now, we’re on our way to California to be a part of two different conferences. We’ll present a couple of workshops at THRIVE, the sixth annual leadership conference hosted by Bayside Church of Granite Bay, then do a marriage conference at BOSS (Bayside of South Sacramento) . . . and then home on May 4.

An added bonus of being in Sacramento, of course, is checking on the progress of our developing grandson. :) Everything looks good as Kari completes five months. We are all so thankful!

Other family news: Julie is spending her two-week break between trimesters of physical therapy school (she’s now 2/7 done!) in Uganda, visiting some very special children and an even more special young man. And Lisa has successfully completed the requirements for her masters degree in exercise physiology and will be walking May 7. She has accepted a job at James Madison University and will be the athletic trainer for the women’s division 1 soccer team beginning August 1. We are so thankful for God’s hand of blessing on our family.

And so the adventure continues. These two weeks in the south have been full of delight. The food, the nature, the friendly folks . . . there really is no place like the south.

Is it worth it?

Once a year, H.I.M. hosts a conference that focuses on sexual purity. This year’s “Worth It” conference was held Saturday, April 10, and it turned out to be a “knock it out of the park” day. I don’t know what made it seem like “the best ever” actually, but many of us who have worked together for years on this particular conference have so labeled it. Maybe it was the team, comprised of some old favorites as well as some new blood. Maybe it was the venue: Calvary Christian Church in Lynnfield is a wonderful event site and a warm and welcoming place. Maybe it was the gorgeous weather, which was just what the doctor ordered after a long, cold, and wet winter/early spring. Most likely, it was a combination of things we can control, as mentioned, along with things we can’t control, like the work of God’s Spirit. He was definitely alive and well throughout the day.

Paul welcomes the crowd and sets the expectation for the day.

Paul kicked the day off with his inimitable warmth, substance, and humor. Each year, he goes through the process of evaluating whether he has “outgrown” his appeal to the youth as the gap widens year by year, but he is assured by many that he’s still “got it.” Whatever “it” is. He’s smart enough to bring together a young team to carry the lion’s share of the day, but kids still love him, fortunately, and his passion for the conference only grows stronger. A highlight of the day for sure was when he did his original rap on sexual purity. His performance was set up perfectly by a real rapper who had just performed, and Paul brought the house down with his American Idol moment.

Jess and Elizabeth Bousa, Kassidy and David Thomas, Joe DeZelle, Don and Yannette Davis, Julie Friesen, and Virgina Friesen. (Paul was taking the photo.)

Our team was phenomenal. Two singles, one from each gender. 25 and 27. Smart. Good looking. Athletic. Committed to purity. In love with Jesus. Two NFL players: one retired, one beginning his 5th year in the league. One teaching from a position of forgiveness and grace for the many sinful choices he made along the way before surrendering his life to Christ fully. One teaching from a position of having followed God’s design for purity. Two young married couples. Both couples with very different stories. One old married couple, still thankful for choices of sexual purity still being made. And a first: a rapper, who impressively did two original raps.

That’s the upfront team. The “behind the scenes” team was equally phenomenal: from registration, capably run by Barbara Steele, Sue Martis, and Richard and Kit Hendricks, to the book table, well run by Kimary Pomphrett, to the build-your-own-sandwich bar lunch, professionally run by MJM Catering and some wonderful volunteers. The conference was well organized and executed flawlessly, thanks to much hard work by our administrative assistant, Sue Martis. It was an “all hands on deck” effort which made it a great experience.

People came from all over New England. There was a group of 21 from Uxbridge Nazarene Church, who got Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards for being the largest group in attendance. The Yardleys flew up from Charlotte, North Carolina, which earned them some DD bucks. A group of eleven students plus three leaders came from Portland, Maine, and they swept the prizes for the ice breaker Bingo-like game. They came from “Jesus First Ministries,” a ministry for which we did a marriage conference last year. Most of their members are refugees from Rwanda and we were treated to a beautiful song sung by an all-girls quartet from their fellowship as an unexpected bonus to the day.

A delightful women’s quartet sang for us.

After Paul’s intro and welcome, Julie Friesen, who had arrived just hours earlier on a red-eye from San Diego, addressed the conferees by speaking on the topic, “You are Worth It!” It’s hard for me to objectively critique her talk (though many gave her very positive feedback), but it wasn’t hard to see the incredible impact she had on the youth, speaking to them as a 25-year-old woman who is smart, athletic, and attractive, and who has chosen sexual purity. Her message was that each person is worth being treated with respect, honor, and according to God’s good design for sexuality — and she was very believable.

Julie Friesen tells the group, "You are Worth It!"

Joe DeZelle was equally convincing. Serving as the Harrisonburg, VA, regional director for Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Joe spoke powerfully on God’s call to purity and he effectively challenged the young men to step up and lead well in this very important area. As a very good-looking former college athlete, his testimony as a 27-year-old single man committed to purity was bar setting. His affable nature and genuineness made him both approachable and credible. It was the first time Joe has partnered with H.I.M., but we hope it won’t be the last.

No strangers to “Worth It”, New Orleans Saint’s tight end David Thomas, along with his wife Kassidy, did a plenary session on “Sex is Worth It.” As high school sweethearts, and the football star and cheerleader at that, they shared with the group their commitment to sexual purity and the choices they made along the way to live out God’s design. They married after graduating from college, and consummated their sexual relationship then. After playing for the Patriots for three seasons, David was traded to the New Orleans Saints this past season — so he returned to New England as a World Champion Saint. For all those in the audience who really believe that no one these days could make decisions for sexual purity, David and Kassidy turned their thinking upside down. What a refreshing message!

David and Kassidy Thomas: “Sex is worth it!”

A wide spectrum of topics were offered during the workshop block. Brian and Heather Dietz, our longest running partners in “Worth It,” presented on “Mall Messages.” They unveiled the seductive and manipulative messages of advertising and the inherent risk of being sucked in by the “sex sells everything” culture in which we live. Jess and Elizabeth Bousa spoke on “Cultural Discernment”, tackling such topics as social networking sites and media. Jess’s new book on the subject, Cultural Deficit-Disorder, was available at the conference (and check this blog). Joe DeZelle and Julie Friesen teamed up to speak on developing your convictions and commitments regarding your sexuality before leaving for college. Don Davis, retired NFL, spoke on the power of forgiveness and grace. And David and Kassidy spoke on the delights of trusting God’s design for sexuality. All workshops were well-attended and appreciated.

Brian and Heather Dietz with their two daughters, who were lovingly watched during the day by Hannah Early.

Don Davis, who retired from the Patriots two years ago after a 15-year NFL career, wrapped up the day with a powerful and passionate talk on “God is Worth It.” Don’s love for Jesus was contagious and compelling. He honestly and openly shared from his journey, the years of living outside of God’s design contrasted with the past ten years of living fully for Christ. He was engaging, substantive, hard-hitting, and appropriately funny. In the end, he challenged each one to go deeper with God and to make a commitment to purity from this day forward. Forgiveness and grace were woven through his talk, along with the clear message that it’s never too late to start doing the right thing.

Don Davis passionately called all to a deeper commitment to Christ and to His plans for their life.

The whole team fielded an open question and answer session at the end of the day. The questions were varied and covered a spectrum of topics, from questions about dating to boundaries for physical involvement. The team responded with honesty and openness, and with helpful advice for practical application.


Paul closed the conference with a call and an opportunity to make pledges for purity. It was a sacred time. We are well aware that statistically 87% of pledgers will eventually succumb to the pressure of having sex outside of marriage, but we hope and pray that a much higher percentage of those who attended the conference will succeed. We hope that by making this a family event rather than just a teen event, the network will be stronger and the accountability higher, with both combining to increase effectiveness.

In our deepest heart, we want people to be convinced that God can be trusted and that His plan for our sexuality is best and does work. The carnage of trashed hearts, souls, and bodies due to sexual promiscuity — hook-ups, friends with benefits, etc. — is everywhere and the cost on all levels is incredibly high. Few talk about the dark side of non-marital sexual freedom: the regrets, the demolished self-esteem, the diseases, the memories, the rejection, etc., but it’s all very real. The lies are rampant.

Our goal is to keep proclaiming truth as long as we have breath and an audience. :) Plans are underway for next year’s “Worth It” conference, so mark your calendars now so you don’t miss out!

I’m going to close by including some comments we received on the evaluations or via emails, so you can hear from others great words of encouragement. Our conclusion? It was worth it.

I just wanted to let you know that this seminar was such a boost in my faith. Since 8th grade I’ve been developing a very strong relationship with the lord. I’ve recently started just reading one chapter a day with my two good friends. That and this seminar has changed me so much. I’m so grateful for all the work you put into to teaching us about love, boundaries and faith and I know what you said changed a lot of the lives in that room and especially mine. Thank you so much. —13-year-old female

I truly appreciate all the efforts that went into making this event so inspiring for the kids and encouraging all of us, parents and teens to live for Christ. The speakers were remarkable from all walks of life and I was truly impressed with their honesty and their commitment to Christ. As a parent, we need all the help we can get in helping our children live a life pleasing to God. Thanks again. —Parent

Thanks for the day of Worth It. My daughter seemed to really enjoy it. I was so pleased with her signing the pledge and wanting me to witness it. I know there are no guarantees especially when these things are done at 13, but in view of all that we are dealing with, it certainly gladdens a mom’s heart as we continue to build a foundation on God’s truths and not on what is in the world. I am grateful for the big role H.I.M. has played in strengthening that foundation. —Parent

I was challenged to raise the bar. Thanks. I needed the challenge. Please pray for my follow through. —Parent

The most beneficial part of the day was my friends came and enjoyed it. —16-year-old male

This has hopefully changed my life. Thank you. —16-year-old female

God bless you so much. It was so worth it to come here. The commitment was the greatest part of the day because I know for sure what I want in my life. —18-year-old female

Outstanding speakers, word of God evident in all activities, boldness in Christ and of real matters in teen’s lives greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much for your commitment to God, your dedication to His word, and your passion for this topic. God bless you all. —15-year-old female

He is risen indeed!

We hit the tarmac running. A packed counseling scheduled followed our March 23 almost midnight return to Boston . . . and God met us in big ways to give us strength and focus for a long day and night of counseling. We continued with appointments Thursday and that night spoke at the Mom To Mom (MTM) group at BCEC (Boston Chinese Evangelical Church). Invited by Fannie Ng, who along with her husband Wai-Chin and their two children, Grace and Evan, attend family camp at Berea, we always consider it a privilege to partner with this group.

Paul and I guard the yummy desserts prior to the start of the event for MTM Couples Date Night at Grace Chapel.

These “mentor moms” and their husbands helped to insure the success of the evening by sitting at tables with their small groups, and helping with set up and clean up.

Friday night, March 26th, competing with the NCAA Tournament, we spoke at Grace Chapel’s MTM Couple’s Date Night. Connie Lawrence and her team did a wonderful job of making the evening very special, with yummy desserts and beautifully set tables with fresh flower centerpieces and candles. All of those special touches make such a difference and set a tone of “we love you and we care about your marriage.” The couples responded well to our talk and we had many good conversations before and after the program.

Our third Engagement Matters (EM) Conference of the 2009-2010 season was held March 27-28 in Weston at the home of Doug and Julie Macrae. Eighteen couples crowded into the Macraes’ living room turned seminar room and fully embraced the weekend. Nate and Jeannie King (and their fourth child, Brady) flew up from Rome, Georgia, to continue partnering on the team, and Ryan and Kelly Plosker joined the ranks as a resource couple. I could tell you it was a great weekend, but I’ll let one of our couples do that by quoting from the email they sent after the conference:

Dear Paul and Virginia,

Thank you VERY much for the wonderful seminar this weekend! My fiance and I had a wonderful time! Your stories and advice were full of grace and humor while at the same time being direct, uncompromising, and grounded in real-life experience and built on the authority of Scripture (and thought-out, consistent interpretations, at that!). We both came away refreshed, renewed, and challenged, and we’ve decided to do a few things differently in our relationship as a result of what we learned.

We’ve been having a hard time planning our wedding because I am so E (and F) and [my fiance] is so I (and T), so we want pretty drastically different things. But taking the time to focus on our convictions and character, as well as to learn a little more about Keirsey’s stuff (which I didn’t think would happen - we’re both already big fans of his) and re-evaluate our physical boundaries was very refreshing and made us both come away feeling even luckier to be with each other.

Thank you for a wonderful weekend!

Our team was very thankful for the weekend and felt it was one of our best ever. Our next Engagement Matters conference is scheduled for October 2-3, 2010, so please keep that in mind.

Eighteen couples at Engagement Matters work feverishly on their Keirsey Temperament Sorters before breaking for lunch.

Ryan and Kelly Plosker, with Logan, Jordan, Sydney, and Bennett, served on the Engagement Matters team.

Nate and Jeannie King, with their fourth child Brady, flew up from Georgia to continue their commitment to Engagement Matters.

Saturday night, after all day at Engagement Matters, we drove to Cambridge to do an evening seminar on marriage at Cornerstone Church. This sweet fellowship, lead by James Lee, eagerly listened to too much information in a short amount of time.

Sunday we wrapped up Engagement Matters by 4 and then a group of H.I.M. “Church Partners” arrived for dinner at 5. :) It was personally very encouraging to brainstorm with this group who are so committed to the ministry of H.I.M., and to come up with some ideas of how to make a bigger impact in New England.

And then we went home and collapsed. :) Quite a stretch there. We were very thankful for a very low-keyed Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday was counseling--and then we were off again.

This trip was mostly vacation. We drove down to VA to spend Easter with my folks and Lisa. We had a wonderful time! Part time in Alexandria with Mom and Dad and part-time in Harrisonburg with Lisa.

In Harrisonburg, we watched Lisa’s softball team play ball (she is their athletic trainer), and then we celebrated her successfully defending her thesis just days before. She’ll graduate with her masters in exercise physiology on May 7.

A celebration dinner with Lisa in honor of her successful thesis defense.

Easter Sunday morning was spectacular. Lis, Paul and I drove to the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial and watched the sun rise through the cherry blossoms. I can’t imagine a more fitting way to spend the early morning hours of Resurrection Day than doing just that!! We were so thankful for perfect conditions for such an outing and for the timing of the peak of the blossoms. We were enthralled. It was great preparation for going to church and celebrating our Resurrected Lord. Can we ever tire of saying, “He is Risen!!! He is risen indeed!” The day unfolded with a family gathering at my folks’ home and delicious food, great fellowship and a rousing hymn sing around the piano filled the balance of the day. Serendipitously, as the sun began to set, Paul, Lis and I zipped back to the Tidal Basin to watch sunset . . . and it was a fabulous end to a glorious day.

Easter sunrise at the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial with cherry blossoms at peak.

The beauty was indescribably beautiful . . . so I’ll let the photo speak for itself.

Returning from a joyous Easter service with my parents and Lisa, ready for brunch!

Back at the Tidal Basin for the sunset, 13 hours later. It was also spectacular.

Nightfall over the Jefferson Memorial. I couldn’t stop taking photos. Thank heaven for digital photography!

Back to Harrisonburg we drove the day after Easter, where we spoke for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) at James Madison University that night. Lisa has been volunteering with FCA since arriving at JMU and she was very eager to have us speak on relationships. Twist our arms! We were only too happy to comply. And Joe DeZelle, FCA regional director at JMU, was happy to have us, especially after reading Letters to my Daughters. The evening was powerful. An unusually large group assembled and were very responsive and interactive. Great conversations followed. We love interacting with college students about this vitally important topic and consider such opportunities a privilege.

The FCA gathering listens to announcements before our talk.

Back home we drove Tuesday, on a beautiful weather day with light traffic. The nine hour drive gave us plenty of time to debrief and reflect on this very busy season. It’s been good and we feel blessed.

Signs of spring are appearing around New England. We returned home to a blossoming forsythia bush, which seemed a fitting symbol for the new life that is possible because of the death and resurrection of our Lord. He is risen indeed!

California, Part 2

Tuesday, March 16, after delivering freshly baked chocolate chip cookies to the BOSS (Bayside of South Sacramento) office, we finished preparing our talk for the REMIX. We were asked to address the many emailed questions spawned by the four-week series they had just completed entitled God Loves Sex. A sample of the questions are: Why would God care about pre-marital sex other than to help keep us from disease and pregnancy? How do we know what a God-honoring relationship is when we’ve never been in one? What is the big deal about dating a non-Christian? You can listen to the whole talk on their website here.

The staff at BOSS happily have a cookie break.

We loved the questions and we loved the enthusiastic and welcoming crowd of young adults that gathered. There was great interaction both during and after the talk. How fun is it to speak to a group that speaks back? Love it! We had many conversations afterward with those who wanted to exchange their sexual brokenness for God’s purity and purposes. The contrast between the goodness and benefits of submitting to God’s design for our sexuality, and the brokenness and pain which results from living outside of His boundaries, is stark. We were impressed that there was such openness and receptivity to hearing more of God’s truth. Gabe and Kari are helping them fall in love with Jesus and to hunger for His Word. The evening was loaded with passion for Him. What a privilege to partner with our kids.

Wednesday was spent in various (good) meetings and that night we helped Gabe and Kari host their “small” group of 22 who come every Wednesday night for dinner and Bible study (and a little ping pong if you can take being put under the table by the Master Gabe.) Another great night! Gabe lead the study well and again we were impressed with the community bond which allowed openness and vulnerability. Deep conversations were had late into the night.

Gabe and Kari’s small group meets every Wednesday night at their house.

Thursday was delightfully low-keyed, starting with baking cinnamon rolls for the BOSS staff, and then walking, relaxing, and going to dinner with Gabe and Kari. It was just what we needed before a very full weekend. Surprise!

Friday and Saturday we had our first ever West Coast Engagement Matters! When Gabe and Kari had suggested it over Christmas, they pictured having a group of maybe 6 to 8 couples, so we were all shocked and thrilled when seventeen couples signed up for the conference! Hosted by Gabe and Kari in their home, the large crowd meant clearing their living room of sofas and setting up 34 chairs. We love the attitude they have towards their home — that it’s His and to be used for His purposes. The couples seemed very eager to wrestle with issues related to marriage, and the conference far exceeded our wildest expectations. We had many very honest exchanges with the couples and felt it was well worth the effort.

Gabe and Kari speak to the couples at Engagement Matters in Sacramento.

Not to let the grass grow under our feet, we jumped in a rental car and drove to Truckee as soon as Engagement Matters was over. Truckee is very close to Lake Tahoe and some dear friends from Campus by the Sea, Randy and Joy Hitchcock, had convinced their pastor, Wayne Hoag, to invite us to speak at Sierra Bible Church. In the brief 15 minutes we spent with him prior to the morning service, we felt like we had reconnected with a long time friend with whom we were very much in sync. It was a joy to partner with one who seems as committed to growing healthy Biblical marriages as we are and to have his full support. After church, we ventured to a great restaurant on the shores of Lake Tahoe with Ty and Carrie Fields (our hosts), the Hoags, the Hitchcocks, and the Joneses, before returning to the church for a marriage seminar that evening. We were delighted with a great turn-out and an enthusiastic response. All around, it was a wonderful experience and Pastor Wayne promises that we’ll be doing more work with them in the future. That would not take a hard sell.

Wayne and Sandy Hoag, Randy and Joy Hitchcock, Ty and Carrie Fields, and Julie Jones were part of the lunch gang at Lake Tahoe following the morning service at Sierra Bible Church.

Back to Sacramento to wrap up and pack up after 18 days in California. The evening was spent with Gabe’s family, which put the exclamation point on the end of a wonderful trip. Off to the airport we went Tuesday morning, March 23 — and about eight hours later, we were picked up at Logan by Guy and Barbara Steele.

Home again . . . briefly. We count it such a privilege to do what we do. Over the 18 days, we spoke 21 times in 8 very different venues. So many diverse audiences and experiences, but one central theme: God’s design for marriage is good and His Word can be trusted to instruct and teach us how to live in our marriages and our families.

Simple but profound.

California, here we go!

We’re sitting in the Sacramento airport, reflecting on the past 18 days we’ve been in California, and we’re amazed with the diversity of experiences, interactions, and moments from heaven we’ve had since landing in San Francisco on March 5. We are feeling blessedly tired and exceedingly thankful. God has met us, and many in extraordinary ways.

It seemed rather surreal when we were met at the San Francisco airport on Friday, March 5, by our dear friend John Nugent. It was a “what’s he doing here?” moment . . . and then we remembered that he now lives here! John and Marilyn, our long time friends and ministry partners, have relocated to Redwood City, California, because John has assumed the CEO position of the software company Serena. And just in time to attend the Arcade Wesleyan Marriage Retreat, held this year in Santa Cruz! We’ve done a number of conferences for Arcade through the years and we are always impressed with the love and energy they invest in making each couple feel very special with the goodies they gift everyone with upon arrival. Kevin and Cheryl Snider have given leadership to this ministry for almost two decades and are tireless as they invest in marriages. We love partnering with them.

Getting snowbound at Lake Tahoe at their conference two years ago convinced them to seek a new site, out of range of snow, so the conference was moved to a great hotel near Santa Cruz. The Lord blessed us with incredible weather and all around, the weekend was a great success. We were especially pleased to have five young couples, each with their under-six-month-old babies, attend. How wise of them to be committed to investing in their marriages during a season of life which presents some of the greatest challenges to doing so.

Having John and Marilyn at that conference was the icing on the cake. We so enjoyed introducing them to some of our favorite haunts in that area, but honestly, even if we hadn’t left the hotel, it was a joy just to hang out with them. They inspire, challenge, and encourage us and we are so grateful for them

Paul takes home the big prize after throwing a softball in an apple basket at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk.

It was a gorgeous day for walking and we took full advantage.

The happy “campers” at the Arcade Conference are all smiles as they end their special weekend away.

Before the delight of the conference dissipated, we were on a flight to San Diego to spend a couple of days getting Julie settled in her newest temporary living situation. :) After being somewhat nomadic since early January when she moved out of the house she had lived in since starting PT school in September, she is now sharing a two-bedroom condo with one of her classmates, who is also her favorite study partner. We were thrilled to be able to get her and her stuff off the floor by fetching a bed and a dresser from my parents’ storage. We also had many long talks which resulted in clarity and peace regarding her current station in life. It was such a gift to spend those days with her and we are so grateful for the ways God met us. We were also able to squeeze in a few short visits with family and friends but as always, there wasn’t enough time to do everything.

Back up to the Bay Area on Wednesday night, March 10, to speak at Peninsula Covenant Church’s “Mothers Together” monthly meeting the following morning. Because we had such a wonderful time with this group last year, we were really looking forward to our return visit and we weren’t disappointed. Designed to be an outreach, the serving team pays close attention to creating a warm and welcoming environment for all the mothers who come. We heard many stories from women who have met Christ through this effective “entry point” ministry. It was a great morning and we had numerous conversations with women who appreciated our talk on keeping your marriage a priority.

Mary Sharpless Giani and Anne Gaddini are leaders in “Mothers Together” and it was a joy to reconnect with them!

Later that afternoon, we drove to Sacramento for a ministry engagement in that area. Adding to the attraction of driving four hours for a three-hour evening was being able to hang out with Gabe and Kari before and after the event. :) I don’t think we’ve yet officially announced that Kari is pregnant with our first grandchild - :) - so we also had vested interest in seeing how she is progressing. At just over 4 months, a little “baby bump” has emerged, and this is all very exciting. (A stop at In-N-Out Burger and the Jelly Belly factory en route gave me a little baby bump appearance as well. :) )

Gabe and Kari are thrilled to be expecting their first child in late August.

Our ministry event happened Friday night, March 12, at Bayside Church in West Roseville. The couples evening was scheduled by our dear friends Paul and Stefanie Spangler, who served with us at Campus by the Sea in the summer of 2008. We had a great time reconnecting with them over dinner before the event, and the great time continued through the evening as couples filled out the hall to hear us speak on marriage issues.

Paul and Stefanie Spangler put together a couples’ night at Bayside Church in West Roseville.

Saturday afternoon we drove back to Redwood City and spent an engaging evening with Doug Macrae, his son Drew, and Drew’s girlfriend, Dana, over dinner in Palo Alto. Great food, great friends, great conversation.

The next day, we spoke at all three Sunday services at Peninsula Covenant Church (PCC) on “The Irony of Intimacy.” We have such deep respect for Gary Gaddini, lead pastor of PCC, that speaking to his flock is a true privilege. Gary is a man of standing, marked by integrity and authenticity and that character is reflected throughout his congregation. It was a joy to partner with him. It was also a delight to have a group of our dearest friends from Boston in the service: John and Marilyn Nugent, Carter Welch (who is moving his family to Windsor, California, next month), and the Macraes. It felt very much like home to have them there.

This group of familiar faces from Boston dubbed themselves “H.I.M. West” as we met up at PCC on Sunday. Drew Macrae and his girlfriend Dana departed prior to taking this photo.

Monday dawned beautifully and was the perfect day for the unfolding of Gary and Anne’s plans for us to spend the morning hiking the beach at Half Moon Bay and then reward ourselves with a yummy lunch at the oceanfront Ritz. The only improvement to the day would’ve been lengthening it. We walked, talked, found sea glass, and had yummy food with ones we consider to be very dear friends as well as ministry partners. It was a wonderful recovery day.

Gary and Anne Gaddini show us where they “suffer for Jesus” on the beautiful California coastline.

With clearer heads and refreshed bodies, we returned to the church to do a podcast with PCC’s minister to young adults, Tony, and his wife, Wendy, on the subject of God’s design for our sexuality. (You can check it out here, though it may not be posted quite yet.) A dinner meeting with Matt and Christen Bumen followed that, and then we all went back to PCC for a “mini-marriage conference.” We spoke on love and respect the first session and on marital sexuality the second under the banner of “developing emotional intimacy in marriage.” Both subjects have tremendous power to enhance or destroy emotional intimacy, and as a result are fraught with many challenges.

Some of the couples who came out Monday night, March 15, for the mini-marriage conference at PCC.

Kari and Gabe servant-heartedly drove out to Redwood City that night to drive us back to Sacramento. It was great to debrief with them on the 2-hour ride back to their house...and staying awake was aided by a quick stop at In-N-Out Burger. :)

At this just-over-mid-way point in our 18-day ministry tour, we took a deep breath and thanked the Lord for His faithfulness. We’ve spoken eleven times in 10 days and have been aware of God’s presence in very clear ways in each venue. Our gratitude for getting to do what we do only grows. Thanks for praying and for supporting H.I.M.; that truly helps to keep us in in the saddle . . . or on the road.

Southern Living

As the last vestiges of the H.I.M. marriage conference evaporated, and after we had deposited Bob and Carol Kraning at Logan and put in a full day of counseling, off we flew to Charleston, South Carolina. Our dear friends and ministry partners, Jack and Leiann Harvey (and their daughter, Olivia) had invited us to do some “seed planting” for holding a future marriage conference in their area. The Harveys relocated from the south shore of Boston to Charleston over three years ago and were eager to expand the exposure of Home Improvement Ministries to their new neck of the woods.

Our three days in Charleston were full of delight. We love the South! It’s just so different: from the food (grits, anyone?) to the slower pace of life, you know you’re not in the northeast anymore!

We spoke at two events during our three days. Friday afternoon, Lisa and I spoke for Leiann’s “Friday Friends Gathering.” A group of nine-year-old girls and their moms came, and Lisa lead the girls in a small Bible study and then hung out with them while the moms and I chatted about several parenting issues. Though sickness and travel kept a number away, we enjoyed those who came and felt it was profitable.

Jack, Olivia, and Leiann swing together in downtown Charleston on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Lisa along with several moms and daughters came together for “Friday Friends Gathering” at the Harveys’ home.

Saturday night, eight couples joined Jack and Leiann for an informal evening of dessert and dialogue about God’s design for marriage. The group was engaged and responsive and were sold on having us back in the fall. We’re scheduled to return to Charleston to do a larger scale conference the weekend of November 5-7.

The couples thoroughly enjoyed watching a brief clip from Brian Regan at the beginning of our talk.

Saturday morning, Olivia watched closely as I conducted yet another cinnamon roll workshop. :)

It was such a joy to be with the Harveys from beginning to end. Their family is thriving as is their marriage, and God is using them to make an impact in their neighborhood and marketplace. We can’t wait to return in November.

And just in case you’re wondering what Lisa (who lives in Harrisonburg, Virginia, while she finishes her masters degree in exercise physiology at JMU) was doing in Charleston . . . “her” softball team (she’s their athletic trainer) had a tournament there that weekend! We were thrilled to connect with her and to watch her in action as she tended to the needs of the team.

After the fourth game, Lisa’s team lines up for ice packs. She is really good at what she does!

Paul arranged our flight from Charleston to have a 3 hour lay-over in Washington, D.C., so we could have a quick lunch with my parents and sister and brother-in-law. We were amazed by the massive amount of snow still piled in their front yard, as well as the Saints’ flag proudly displayed at their house.

Yes, that’s about 3 feet of snow STILL in their yard on Feb. 22! The flag WILL outlast the snow, they trust. :)

In one of our shortest turn-arounds ever, we returned home around 7 pm on the 22nd and were underway at 7 am on the 23rd. Crazy, yes. But it made sense at one point. It definitely made no sense as we were trying to do laundry and re-pack for our six-day trip to Dallas! Thankfully we made it, with very little sleep, and arrived in Dallas in time to celebrate the retirement of Norm and Bobbe Evans from their post as President and First Lady of ProAthletes Outreach. For 25 years, they’ve held that position for this organization which ministers to professional athletes, primarily in the NFL and in MLB. This ministry of “pro’s to pro’s” has impacted thousands through the years as the Evanses have been a part of 200 conferences during their tenure. They have been committed to excellence and have brought solid Bible teachers and godly leaders together to staff their conferences. It was a privilege to join with a large group of friends and ministry partners to honor them and their years of service.

Paul and I have deep respect for Bobbe and Norm Evans and their work with Pro Athletes Outreach for the past 25 years.

Before the annual PAO NFL conference kicked off Wednesday night, Paul and I stole away to Rowlett (on the east side of Dallas) and had lunch at my cousins’ Brian and Scott Shiell’s restaurant, Big Star. We’ve been eager to experience this popular burger joint and weren’t disappointed. Great food in a clean, cute setting. If you’re in the Dallas area, you should check it out.

Brian and Sharon Shiell and Scott (along with his wife, Amy, who is not pictured) run this great little restaurant in Rowlett, Texas.

The PAO conference got underway Wednesday night, Feb. 24, with the changing of the guard. Norm and Bobbe officially retired, and Steve and Lori Stenstrom took the reins as the new president and first lady of PAO. Don and Yannette Davis (retired Patriot) have been appointed to manage the NFL division of PAO and they did a fabulous job of providing strong leadership as they ran their first conference. It was the largest conference in the history of PAO with 450 participating and it was a great conference. Great speakers, great worship, great times of fellowship, and great times of service. Paul and I did a workshop on marital communication to an overflowing crowd and had a ton of meaningful interaction from morning until late at night for all four days of the conference. It was a joy to have a number of our Patriot and ex-Patriot couples there and we all happily gathered around Paul’s chocolate chip cookies one night. It’s an honor to be part of such a unique ministry - hard to believe that we’ll be in our 11th season with the Patriots couples’ study this fall.

Most PAO conferees partnered with World Vision and packed medical supply bags for AIDS patients to be distributed where needed, while others visited a local juvenile detention center and shared the gospel.

The highlight of the PAO conference was the baptism service held in the hotel pool Saturday morning. It was so moving to hear testimony upon testimony of God’s work in the lives of these athletes.

Pats and ex-Pats gathered for a photo after our last meal together. What a precious group!

We debriefed until the wee hours of the morning following the final session, celebrating the redemptive ways God had worked among us through the conference and acknowledging that He was present in a big way each day. How thankful we were for the opportunity to be part of such an important and impacting ministry.

Off we rolled to Stonebriar Church in Plano early Sunday morning to hear Chuck Swindoll preach. Our niece and her husband, Steve and Stephanie Stuck, are both on the ministry team at that church, so our main objective was to have time with them and their sweet little almost-one-year-old, Natalie. We learned more about some of the many ways they contribute to their church: Steve is a musician/composer and had written the accompaniment for a song performed there that morning, and Stephanie helps keep order in enrollment and check-in for Sunday School through their computer system--and she certainly was on top of her job. We love to be with the Stucks, not just because they’re related or because Paul married them 10 years ago, but because we love their hearts and their passions. Though our time was short, it was very sweet.

Stephanie and Natalie give warm Texas smiles from their home in Celina.

One more visit before flying home on Monday: we made it back to Rowlett for dinner with Virginia’s Shiell cousins. Besides having delicious “muffalettas” and red beans and rice, we shared great moments of raucous laughter, reminiscing over days gone by. Good times.

Lots of first Shiell first cousins and their kids gathered for dinner in Rowlett to celebrate family.

And so the sun has set on several more ministry opportunities. We continue to be grateful for health, strength, and ever deepening passion for what we’re doing.

Legacy of Hearts and Roses

Another H.I.M. Marriage Conference is history . . . and is now part of the legacy we’re committed to building as we continue to invest in marriages in New England.

And what a weekend it was!

A 9" snowfall three days before the start of the conference gave us momentary pause, but God blessed us with beautiful, clear weather February 12-14, allowing all to travel safely and easily to Newport, Rhode Island, for the conference. The Hyatt Regency Hotel on Goat Island provided a luxurious getaway location that invited all to disconnect from the cares of jobs, children, and life in general, and to reconnect with their spouse.

From the moment our guests arrived, they were wrapped up in love. Guy and Barbara Steele and Richard and Kit Hendricks warmly welcomed each guest with smiles, a goodie bag, and two of Paul Friesen’s World Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies. :) Can you improve on that???

The Hendricks and the Steeles made sure everyone felt warmly welcomed to the conference.

After settling in to their rooms and having dinner, conferees entered a beautifully decorated ballroom at 8 pm on Friday evening for session one. Dozens of red roses adorned the tables and were accented with heart-shaped votive candles and helium balloons. Doug and Julie Macrae’s signature was all over the room as they once again transformed the space into something thematically affirming and lovely. Chocolates, red hots, and conversation hearts were scattered on each table—edible centerpieces are always enjoyed and consumed! One guest commented, “The room made my husband and I feel so cared for the moment we walked into the room!”


Worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, who have become H.I.M. marriage conference favorites. As always, their music ministered to souls and brought us in worship to Jesus. It is such a joy and a privilege to partner with them in this strategic ministry.

Bob and Carol Kraning, veteran family ministers from Yorba Linda, California, returned to partner with us. Though no strangers to the H.I.M. family, it’s been a number of years since the Kranings were with us and it was a delight to have them back. Now 52-years married and still going strong, their messages on “The Legacy of Love” were powerful and credible. Bob and Carol are wise, approachable, great communicators, and speak from a “long journey in the same direction.” A number of attendees commented that they had never known anyone who had been married for 52 years. The Kranings spoke truth about God’s design for marriage and they challenged us to build “hedges of protection” around our marriages. Practical, humorous, and real would describe their style and they were appreciated by all.

Bob and Carol Kraning taught powerfully about God’s design for marriage.

Workshops were also offered at two different times so couples could tailor the weekend to specifically speak into their season of life. Ryan and Kelly Plosker presented a very popular session on “Living the Legacy Everyday” which challenged couples to choose to honor their spouse practically and daily. They also did a workshop for young marrieds to help them set their course towards God’s heart. Eric and Joylynn Mello from South Shore Baptist Church received rave reviews on their workshop dealing with finances and stewardship principles. Bob and Carol Kraning lead an interactive seminar on the empty nest years, while Doug and Julie Macrae delighted and inspired folks with their “Super Bowl” workshop. Danny and Rayna’s workshop on the unexpected twists and turns in life was deeply appreciated by all who attended. Debuting for the first time at one of our H.I.M.-sponsored marriage conferences, Paul and I did a workshop on parenting and it was packed out.

Ryan and Kelly Plosker taught on “Living the Legacy Everyday”

Eric and Joylnn Mello teach on making wise financial decisions.

As important as content and instruction are to a getaway weekend, we place an equally high value on providing time for couples to reconnect outside of scheduled programming. Five hours on Saturday afternoon were unprogrammed and couples were free to spend it as they wished. The beautiful weather made it inviting to enjoy the natural beauty of Newport, from poking around the waterfront town to walking the Cliff Walk. Some toured mansions, some shopped, some geocached. Some chose to catch up on much needed sleep and grabbed an all too rare nap. The freedom of the afternoon is as important as the structured times of teaching.

Many enjoyed watching the ice sculpture artists at work in Newport on Saturday afternoon.

A delicious banquet was served Saturday night, followed by a teaching session with Bob and Carol. The grand finale was an Oertli and Oertli concert, which was deeply appreciated by all. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

Sunday’s breakfast was followed by workshops, which lead into the final large group session. Paul masterfully emceed and his quick wit and on his feet humor kept laughter ringing in the ballroom as it had all weekend. He handed out dozens of Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards in honor of many couples who took the time to write a tribute to their mate and showed several hilarious video clips. Can I say that he does a great job of working a crowd??

Paul and I taught the final Sunday morning session.

As Danny sang “Will you marry me again?” to close the conference, couples throughout the room exchanged words with one another. Some prayed together, some confessed, some made commitments to make changes, some just sat and held each other. It was a holy moment as couples vowed to keep working at making theirs a “sacred” marriage.

Within an hour, the roses and balloons were on their way to many different homes, the tables were cleared of candy and papers, the book table was packed away, and the ballroom was stripped of all semblance of the “Legacy of Love” marriage conference.

But by God’s grace, each couple was driving home in a different place than they were when they came. Hopefully all left with a renewed vision for the potent ways God could use their marriage to change the world and with great hope that they aren’t alone as they face a world strewn with land mines with regards to marriage.

Some think that marriage conferences are only for people who are really struggling in their marriage. We believe they’re for people who want their marriage to be all that God has designed them to be.

Paul and I stand with Bob and Carol Kraning and Rayna and Danny Oertli at the end of the conference.

The phenomenal team that made it happen. Every one in this picture made a unique and important contribution to making this one of the best conferences ever and we are so blessed by them!

The Saturday sunset was spectacular and put an exclamation point on the end of a really great weekend.

The hearts and roses are gone . . . but the legacy is being built. May the next generation experience God more fully and with more credibility as they see His power and love in this generation!

Sleepless - but not speechless - in Seattle

A week ago we returned from our 12-day trip to the Pacific Northwest, exhaustedly energized. I know . . . that sounds like an oxymoron, but I think it’s apt. We flew 6,000 miles, drove about 1500 miles, and spoke 18 different times to a very diverse slate of audiences (including a church staff, junior and senior high students, young moms, and lots of couples), and reconnected personally with four different couples during the in-between moments. On top of that, we crazily cheered on the New Orleans Saints to winning the Super Bowl and that was really exhausting!

We loved every opportunity, and hence were energized, but our fatigue level was high when we landed back in Boston on February 9th.

This was our third time in four years to partner with the Moses Lake Alliance Church (MLAC), which means that we have really developed deep hearts for this wonderful group of people. It’s such an honor to have a continuing relationship with them and it’s amazing to us that though 12 months pass between visits, we feel very connected to them.

A large part of that is attributable to the executive pastor of MLAC, Kent Copley and his wife, Staci. We have really bonded with their precious family and believe that they would be “chosen family” friends if we lived in the same area. Their daughters, Tori and Britni, and their dog Sal, have all worked their way into our hearts and we love hanging out with them. Laughter bounces off the walls of their home when we’re together, whether we’re baking (Paul and Tori have a chocolate chip cookie competition going and I held a cinnamon roll workshop), eating, or just catching up.

Kent and Staci Copley with daughters Tori and Britni enjoy Paul’s waffles before heading off to work and/or school.

Tori and I are quite proud of our rolls!

And Tori and Paul are both very proud of their cookies!

Our ministry moments with them were productive and inspiring. We spoke at their annual marriage conference at Camp Spaulding to a “sold out” crowd, and loved reconnecting with those who had been there in previous years as well as meeting a number of new couples. At the end of the last session, Kent invited couples to share how God had met them and I was especially touched by the young man who confessed that though married only five years, he realized that he had gotten “lazy” and was no longer investing much in “wooing” his wife. From the response of many in the room, it was clear he wasn’t the only one.

Four of the couples at the Moses Lake Alliance Church marriage weekend are all smiles as they prepare to head home.

Back to Moses Lake for a very diverse schedule. Monday night we met with the MLAC pastoral staff and had a wonderful evening with them, processing the important topic of balancing marriage and ministry. We feel very comfortable with their team and we especially respect and enjoy their senior pastor, Jody Bowser and his wife, Caryn. It was a good night. The next morning we spoke to their young mom’s group, led by Caryn Bowser, and that was a treat for us. We closed the morning by playing Danny Oertli’s “If Ever You Worshiped” and there wasn’t a dry eye. Mothers with young children especially need to be encouraged that their efforts on behalf of their children are acts of worship and Danny does that so well in that song.

Our last speaking for MLAC was Wednesday night when we had the privilege of addressing their junior and senior high students on the topic of God’s design for sexuality. We were really impressed with the students, who seemed to have a higher level of maturity than many teens. They were attentive, interactive, and asked some great questions.

We reluctantly loaded the rental car and drove back over the “pass” Thursday, leaving behind a very dear group of people in Moses Lake.

Fortunately, there are very dear people on both sides of the “pass” and we were meeting up with some of them by lunch time on Thursday. In preparation for speaking to a large couples event on Friday night, we met with the tech team and the staff behind the event over lunch. Elaine Morse, the director of small groups at Overlake, and her assistant, Candy Smiley, were delightful and well organized. They made us feel welcomed and at home. We later had a delicious dinner at Dan and Candy Smiley’s home, along with a number of other couples who were on the team. And finally, we rounded out the evening with a late night Starbuck’s date with Sarah Hathaway, one of our New England girls, who is attending Seattle Pacific University. It felt very collegiate.

We spent Friday morning reconnecting with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom—for the first time on their turf. Richard is the senior pastor of Bethany Community Church and spoke at our marriage conference last February. We love his teaching and his heart and found it delightfully stimulating to spend a couple of hours with them.

We had an early lunch with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom in Seattle.

Friday night went off without a hitch and was beautifully done. The ambience created by a talented team, music provided by Jesse and Marissa Butterworth, and a few hilarious video clips, all supported our two 25-minute talks. We felt very good about the evening and very thankful.

Married Life Live at Overlake Christian Church was a sell-out and seemed to be enjoyed by all.

Elaine Morse, director of small groups at OCC and of “Married Life Live” was an absolute delight.

On top of that, we were honored to have one of my college friends, Janet Prentice Long, and her husband, Jay, and their daughter Lucia drive from Port Townsend to attend the evening. What fun to reconnect with them! The other huge bonus was discovering a soul type friend in Elaine Morse. The minute we walked into her office and saw her lacrosse stick on the wall, the bond happened. We felt like we were leaving a long time friend when we said good-bye Friday night. We trust our paths will cross many times in the years ahead.

Jay, Janet, and Lucia drove from Port Townsend to attend Married Life Live. Janet and I were colleagues at San Diego State University back in the 70’s, and Paul was our IVCF staff worker.

Very early the next morning we were off, and drove almost three hours to Grayland, a small town on the ocean by Westport, Washington. Several couples from South Beach Community Church had heard us speak last summer at the Coaches Time Out (CTO) Conference in Portland, Oregon, and they convinced their pastor to invite us to speak at their church. We focused on parenting for the first half of the day on Saturday, and on marriage for the afternoon. We had a lovely evening with the senior pastor and his wife, Myron and Carla Ness, and then taught at both services Sunday morning. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with this congregation and would happily return if the opportunity arises.

The last to leave South Beach Community Church after the morning worship services.

We barely made it to the hotel in time for the Super Bowl kick-off...but we did. :) What a game!! Having just been in New Orleans one month earlier, the endless and confident refrain of “Oh when the Saints . . . win the Super Bowl . . . Oh when the Saints . . . win the Super Bowl . . .” ran through our minds as we watched every minute of that fabulous game. We were thrilled for the Saints in general, and for ex-Patriots David Thomas (#85) and Heath Evans (on IR) specifically. Both of these guys and their wives were very committed to the couples Bible study while in New England and we are so happy for their success. Wasn’t it a great game?

We took advantage of our location and met up with friends Duke and Amy Paulson after the Super Bowl, and with Dane and Amy Looker (ex-Patriot, retired Ram) Monday a.m. prior to flying east. Both couples are committed to honoring the Lord in their marriages and families; it was refreshing and encouraging to be with them. It was a great send-off, capping twelve great days in Washington.

Mt. Rainier, which had hidden behind clouds during our entire tour, revealed all but its tip as we left. What a lovely farewell gesture! The flight home was uneventful and productive. It was a joy to see Guy Steele’s smiling face at Logan as he picked us up and it felt very good to climb into our own bed in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, February 9th. Home again...for at least a few days. :)

Of Merriment and Marriage

Not long after returning from New Orleans (about 12 hours later!), we spent the day counseling. The painful stories of so many are more than balanced out by the transformation we often witness when a couple submits themselves to the “nothing if impossible” power of God, but still, we’re so aware that the enemy is working overtime to destroy marriages and families. An unmarried young twenty-something woman, whose parents had divorced almost two decades ago, recently asked us, “When do kids stop paying for their parent’s choice to divorce?” Interactions like that only increase our passion to keep fighting for marriages. How grateful we are for the opportunities to do just that!

January 16th found us just over the border in New Hampshire at Community Chapel, doing a one-day marriage seminar. From the moment we stepped foot in the church, we felt connected with this very warm and welcoming group. Mary DiLoreto, the church admin, had done a great job organizing and arranging the day, which went like clockwork. Her efforts were appreciated by all, for sure, but especially by us and by senior pastor Geoff DeFranca. It’s so relaxing to speak when things are so well prepared. Those attending the conference were very engaged and responsive, and at the end, Pastor Geoff said, “This was the most formative marriage conference I’ve ever attended.” In a very meaningful gesture, he asked the conferees to encircle us and pray for us. And before we left, they invited us for a return visit in January of 2011. We are looking forward to an ongoing partnership with them in the years to come.

We went straight from there to Boxborough, MA, to join a group of very enthusiastic families attending H.I.M.’s Mid-Winter Family Getaway. The setting was ideal as the Holiday Inn rooms are built around a beautiful pool-centered atrium. We learned when our kids were growing up that an indoor pool was all that was needed for a great time during the winter months, and this site provided just that. Though pool fun dominated the time schedule, we had some great program moments as well. Brian and Heather Dietz lead worship and had full participation with family camp favorites such as “The Butterfly Song”, “I am Somebody”, and “The Sprinkler Song.” Paul lead family devotions at each meeting, and Ryan and Kelly Plosker added some creative and fun family activities throughout the weekend. They also took care of the kids during a “Parenting Q and A” session lead by us. It was a great time of fun, fellowship, and encouragement. Snow fell Sunday night as it did in 2009, adding that magical “snow globe” touch to an already memorable weekend. It’d be hard to improve on the overall experience!

Some of the kids reached new heights at the Mid-Winter Family Getaway pool party.

Everyone seemed to have a great, wet time.

From the kids singing “The Butterfly Song”...

...to the adults, under coercion, doing the “Sprinkler Song” (with a little help from their kids).

The special election held on the 19th to fill Senator Kennedy’s seat was a pretty big deal. Against all odds. The little engine that could. It would take a miracle. It’ll never happen. In an election that caught the attention of the nation (and at least some of the world), we have renewed hope that all is not a fait accompli. We admire Scott Brown as a person and as a politician; he ran a clean campaign on his merits and his agenda, hopefully sending a message to all future campaigners that contrary to conventional wisdom and common practice, voters are more moved by positive campaigning than mud slinging. Now we pray that he will be a man of standing for Massachusetts and for America. That night, for the first time ever, we attended a victory celebration—and at the Park Plaza Hotel, the shock and awe was euphoric and hope came bubbling over.

Doug and Julie Macrae and Paul and I celebrated Scott Brown’s stunning victory with a bursting-at-the-seams crowd at the Park Plaza Hotel.

More counseling...and then a return engagement to Grace Chapel to speak at Mom to Mom. They invited us to speak on one of our favorite topics, “Making Wise Media Choices,” and armed with new statistics, we challenged the young moms to be proactive and protective in making decisions regarding media for themselves as well as for their kids. Pretty staggering statistic that the average kid in America now watches/listens to/ interacts with 63 hours of some form of media weekly. Paraphrasing John Ortberg (The Life You’ve Always Wanted), “it’s not just the corrupt nature of what’s on television that harms us, it’s what it keeps us from doing!” So true.

Nineteen couples attended our Engagement Matters Weekend January 23-24, held at Doug and Julie Macrae’s Weston home. Thirty-eight eager, energetic, hopeful, dreamy people—who either are convinced or are on the way to becoming convinced that marriage will be an added benefit to their life—showed up. As usual, the group was very diverse: from just out of high school to well into a professional life; from California, New York, and Pennsylvania; from physicians to performers; from seven years of being together to two months of dating. Lots of great interaction, great questions, great moments of insight. We loved every moment of it and were so thankful for such a dynamic, well-attended weekend. Our last Engagement Matters to be offered during this school year in Weston will be held March 27-28, but we’re thrilled to announce that we’ll be having our first “on the road” Engagement Matters Weekend in Sacramento, California, March 19-20. The Remix of Bayside of South Sacramento (BOSS) will be hosting the Friday night/Saturday conference, so get the word out if you live in that area!

The room was packed with very engaged—or pre-engaged :) —couples all day Saturday and Sunday.

A small part of the Engagement Matters group was still around when we remembered to take a picture.

Counseling has filled in the days this week and we’re now enroute to Seattle, where we’ll spend the next 10 days ministering in a variety of locations. This weekend we’ll be back with the Moses Lake Alliance Church, doing their marriage conference for the third time in four years. We love Kent and Staci Copley who host the event and are so looking forward to hanging out with them and their daughters, Tori and Britni, until Thursday. Each day we’ll have the opportunity to minister with different groups from their church. Next weekend, we’ll start at Overlake Church, speaking at a couples’ night, and then spend Saturday and Sunday at South Beach Christian Center in Grayland, Washington, speaking on marriage and family. In between, we’ll reconnect with many dear friends and ministry partners.

So we’re off and running! Or flying, as it were. Thanks for your support, your interest, your prayers. We are grateful.

Of Life and Death

If January is a harbinger for things to come in the year ahead, we’re in for a wild ride!

The month started with the heights of delight (having the kids home, celebrating the holidays with my folks and siblings in northern Virginia, and then having the 80th birthday gala for my mom in New Orleans), as well as shocking grief on a global level with the horrific earthquake in Haiti--and on a personal level as we received word that one of our extraordinary former family camp staffers, Jordan Crouch, passed away January 2.

Haiti’s devastation has touched us very deeply because we spent eight days in that incredibly impoverished country in 1999. It was our first family missions trip, and though several destinations were considered, our personal relationship with Marion Austin compelled us to serve with her “second half of life” ministry, Hope for the Children of Haiti (HFC.) Twenty-three of us prepared, collected food, and planned for the trip...but nothing prepared us for how our hearts would be changed by our experience there. It was truly a “as you’ve done to the least of these...” series of moments, from the second we deplaned on that hot tarmac and were immediately assaulted with the stench and squalor that characterizes places which have no systems for sanitation, trash removal, etc., to dedicating the 10 x 12 cinder block house we’d helped build during the week for a precious, previously homeless, fatherless family.

I remember being so aware of how far out of my comfort zone I was, and don’t forget that I’m very comfortable in a “roughing it” world (i.e., using outhouses, going without showers, and eating simply.) I remember looking into the desperate eyes of young mothers who were holding up infants to us to take, believing that their child would have better than a 50% chance of survival in our arms rather than theirs. I remember the HFC orphans who responded with such joy and childish delight to our team who with them played, sang, jumped rope, and snuggled. I remember admiring the “kids” on our team—Peter and Matthew Steele, Chris and Meg Woodworth, Missy and Kara Carmody, Spencer and Georgia Walle, Kari, Lisa, and Julie Friesen—who held back nothing and just loved on these ones so precious to Jesus. I remember being ashamed at my own tendency to recoil (at least internally) from little ones with crusty noses and oozing sores. I remember being acutely aware that all of my sensate perceptions were assaulted by the sights, smells, and sounds of this small country which met every “third world” requirement.

I also remember that none of those things I found so personally off-setting mattered by the end of our time. After working for a week, side by side with “our” family, building their house, we gathered to dedicate this humble domicile. Hand in hand—Haitian, “blanc,” Haitian, “blanc”—we prayed that God would bless their home and their family.

And then we sang “How Great Thou Art”— in beautiful harmony, in Creole French and English, with rich Haitian voices so resonant with timbre that eludes our voices, with tears streaming down our cheeks. Since “How Great Thou Art” is my favorite hymn, I’m easily inspired to sing it when observing the majesty of His creation, be it the sun dissolving into the Pacific Ocean, the full moon rising behind stately mountains, the snow falling gently as it blankets the earth, the sea turtles gracefully moving through the water. “How Great Thou Art” proclaims the song—obviously!

The paradox wasn’t lost on me at that moment. There were no beautiful sunsets, no majestic mountains, no lush forests, no cascading waterfalls that day in that mostly forgotten slum outside of Port-au-Prince. And yet, the words and meaning of “How Great Thou Art” were never truer, for the pinnacle of God’s creation—His image bearers, His children—were singing lustfully and powerfully, hand in hand, in praise of Him and His glory. It was a sacred moment of profound truth.

We left Haiti the next day changed. Some changes were short term, fortunately, like the effects of the dengue fever that Paul and I contracted while there, but most have been long term. In truth, our hearts were broken by some of the very things that break the heart of God and we experience some degree of healing as we serve these under-served. Over the years following our time in Haiti, all three of our daughters would write about their time in Haiti for the college entrance question “Describe an experience in your life that has profoundly changed you” and all of us have repeatedly returned to third world countries to serve. Our youngest daughter is preparing to be a career medical missionary to a third world country.

The January 12 quake, therefore, shook our hearts very personally. It’s impossible to get my mind around this morning’s statistic, that 150,000 have been officially confirmed dead, with many more still missing and presumed dead. We are so thankful that the children at the Hope for the Children of Haiti (www.hfchaiti.org) were all spared, along with Dr. Jacob and Claudette Bernard, who direct the work Marion Austin started, but the suffering shared by all, especially the survivors, is overwhelming.

It’s been very heartening to see the response of the world to this tragedy of epic proportions. Everyone should respond. In the words of Paul’s dad, Mel Friesen, “you should either send or you should go.” We’re encouraged by the work of some missions organizations known for their integrity, including The Cure, International (www.helpcurenow.org/haitirelief), Compassion International (www.compassion.org), and Hope for the Children of Haiti (HFC Facebook Page, HFC Website)
to name just a few, and would encourage you to get involved and stay involved.

***********

Whether death takes tens of thousands, or one, it’s never easy. We’re reminded that we weren’t designed for death and therefore it’s painful and grievous. That aptly describes our hearts as we received word that Jordan Crouch, 28, died very suddenly and unexpectedly as the first day of the new year came to a close. A blood clot is suspected to have taken Jordan's life, leaving his wife Staci, a very young widow, and his only child, 6-month-old Jackson, fatherless.

Jordan served at Campus by the Sea in 2000 and 2001. As a mentee of another former CBS staffer, Scott Paulson, Jordan and his pal Drew Johnson journeyed from the Pacific Northwest to this little known island in the Pacific to spend two summers serving and being discipled in Christian community. “Jordo” was one of the best—he had a great balance of depth and life. He served well and he played hard. He was loved by staff and family campers alike. He never seemed short of energy, and after putting in long days as a program staffer, he could often be found in the nursery, practicing swing dancing as a charter member of the “CBS Swing Dance Club.” He also traveled to New England to help staff the Grace Chapel Family Camp held at Geneva Point Conference Center on Lake Winnipesaukee.

His mother forwarded me this article on Jordan’s death, as well as a note in which she said, “Jordan loved your family and very much enjoyed his service at Campus by the Sea. He spoke of you often.”

JORDAN LANE “JORDO” CROUCH
December 18, 1981~January 2, 2010

Jordan Lane Crouch, “Jordo,” arrived on earth December 18, 1981 in Vancouver, Washington. He was the firstborn son of Jeff and Sharon Crouch and older brother of Jared and Jessica.
Jordan was a 1st Dan Black Belt, a 2000 graduate of Skyview High School, and a 2004 graduate of Seattle Pacific University. It was at SPU that Jordan met his best friend, Sean Haney, and his future wife, Staci Goerz.

Jordan worked as a Financial Analyst at Norris, Beggs & Simpson in Seattle from 2004 to 2009. In April 2009, Jordan accepted a position as the Mid-Hi Director for Aurora Church in Shoreline.

Jordan had a heart for the Lord and his love was evident as he spent time with “his” students.

On July 6, 2009, Jordan became the proud father of Jackson Charles Crouch. Never was a son more loved. From the time of Jackson’s birth, Jordan started every day with a special father-son bonding time. He often took Jackson to mid-hi events and Jordan was looking forward to sharing his love of the Lord with his son.

Jordan lived a lifetime and touched more people in his 28 years than most people do in an entire lifetime. Jordan departed this earth in the early morning hours of January 2, 2010 and leaves behind a broken-hearted family: his beloved wife, Staci; and infant son, Jackson; parents, Jeff and Sharon; brother, Jared; sister, Jessica; and grandparents, Carol Hogan, Del and Sherrie Fredrickson and Larry and Mary Crouch; as well as numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, and many life-long friends.

In lieu of flowers, a fund has been set up for Staci and Jackson. The family will also be establishing a scholarship at SPU in Jordan’s name at a future date. Memorial contributions may be sent in care of Sean Haney, 1144 N 198th St #E-101, Shoreline, WA 98133.

*******

Contemplating the Haiti earthquake and Jordan’s death, I was struck by the “unexpected” nature of both. When Jordan turned the calendar page on January 1, 2010, he had no idea that he would not be turning page two. And surely, January 12 began as any other day on the island of Haiti—with no thought that by day’s end, a significant number of Haitians would be entombed by the very buildings which seemingly promised protection from the elements.

These are sobering reminders that nothing is promised beyond the moment we have right now. It’s caused me to do more than a little thinking: am I ready? Of those things in my life that would be left undone, which have eternal significance?

Ponderous, deep, and important thoughts to consider as we make our way, too quickly, through the days belonging to evaporating January.

*****

A Most Remarkable Woman!

My mom at about age 18.

It began as a dream...Why not celebrate my mom’s 80th in her hometown of New Orleans, Louisiana, on her January 7 birthday? My sister Laura and I proposed the idea to Mom and she agreed that it would probably not move beyond dream stage, given my father’s mental awareness progressively dimming due to the effects of Alzheimers, and the fact that her original seven children live all over the country, presenting logistical challenges (not to mention financial ones!). It had been over 30 years since our whole family had been in Louisiana together and none of our children had ever been there with their grandparents. It seemed like a “Trip to Bountiful” moment in family history that we couldn’t let escape, so we forged ahead.

On January 7, the dream came true. Our whole original family gathered in New Orleans at Arnaud’s Restaurant to help my mom turn 80. :) That was the beginning of four days of partying...but more than that, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to connect the generations with history and heritage woven through the strands of DNA unique to this family line.
My mom’s life story reflects God’s faithfulness to a beautiful young woman who wasn’t introduced to Him personally until she was in her early twenties and already married with several children. Raised in a loving home, the youngest of four with three older brothers, my mom’s world was rocked when her mother died of complications following food poisoning. Only twelve at the time, she was shuttled off to live with an aunt who was none too pleased to have her there, so my mom’s grief was doubled that year. She was motherless, and she was unwanted. Hard times in life either make or break us, and my mom’s life is mark by her consistent choice to let difficulties make her. A deep strength was forged in the furnace of loss and grief, and that strength has served my mom well over the almost 62 years of her marriage, which spawned seven children.

She attended St. Scholasticas Academy, a boarding school in Covington, Louisiana. Not long after graduating from SSA and enrolling in college, she met and married my dad. She was 18. He was 20. And both were ill-prepared for marriage. Fortunately, they belonged to a generation that believed marriage is a covenant, so they were committed to their vows.

My parents exchange wedding vows in the Napolean Street home of her grandparents. She was 18, he was 20. (As marriage counselors, we wouldn’t have recommended it!)

She never dreamed then that she would give birth to seven children (that would’ve probably seemed like a nightmare!), or that her husband would accept a commission in the US Navy which would launch his career on a path that would eventually promote him to the rank of Rear Admiral. She never envisioned being a physically single parent for month upon month, as her Naval officer husband defended our country on the high seas, or on land - wherever he was commanded to serve. She couldn’t imagine losing her second parent--her dad--by the time she was thirty-five.

Six of the seven children have arrived by 1959. And yes, she made all of those dresses!!!

Truth be told, she never saw herself keeping house and cooking meals for seven hungry children (really, our home was not unlike a day care center, though all the attendees were her own children) day in and day out for too many years to mention.

#7, The Boy, arrived in 1961 and the rest, as they say, is history.

Who knows how the story of her life would’ve gone had she not encountered Jesus! In her mid-twenties, while stationed in Panama, my parents went to a revival meeting--and both had a life-changing experience with Christ that night. They said “Yes!” to Jesus, and that’s made all the difference.

My mom’s life verse is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). As her children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, brother, sister-in-law, and cousins gathered to honor her on January 9 at an unforgettable gala in New Orleans, tribute upon tribute was given her of the ways her life had positively impacted each. Over 80 people dismissed excuses and showed up for her. It was an expression of their love and gratitude for a lady who had loved them well through the years.

Her own children “rose up and called her blessed!” Each spoke from a verse in Proverbs 31, affirming her many gifts and gestures which uniquely qualify her to be a virtuous woman. Though memories can be kind to the unkind moments of life, the video of my mom’s life captures her love for her Lord, her husband, her children, her extended family, and any others appointed to join this cast of characters of the stage of life. It captures her compassion, her kindness, her hard work, and her choice of gratitude and joy.

The originals....oldest to youngest..over a span of 12 years...Lucy, Sue, Francene, Virginia, Melissa, Laura, and Frank, III.

And so she was duly honored...at Arnauds on Thursday night, at the Astor Crowne Plaza on Saturday, at the Black Orchid Restaurant (owned and operated by her nephew Billy and his family) on Sunday, and at Rips, a restaurant in Old Mandeville, on Monday - hosted by her dear brother Don. In between the parties, there were trips to Cafe du Monde for those matchless beignets and delicious cafe au lait, there were gatherings in my parent’s suite, aka “Party Central”, and there were tours through the neighborhoods memorable and significant to my mom’s growing up years. There were great meals and great after meals. Eighty-year-old Esther boogied down Bourbon Street to a jazz club around 10 one night...I could barely keep up with her. And that image of her will never leave my mind’s eye.

Thanks for indulging me this non-H.I.M.-related blog. Well, actually...it is H.I.M.-related, because this remarkable woman is my mom, and much of who I am today is related to who she is today and who she has been in my life. I will ever be grateful for a mom who didn’t quit (even when the temptation was really strong) and who never let us think it was because of her strength, but rather His. Now that’s a legacy that by the grace of God, I will pass on to my children.

My parents at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

And at the big party on Saturday, Jan. 9. Happy 80th, Mom!

Good-bye 2009, Welcome 2010!

And the gifts kept arriving! On Monday, the 28th, Julie’s boyfriend, Derek Johnson, arrived for a not-long-enough but much better than nothing visit with the fam. He hadn’t met Kari and Gabe yet, nor been with our family except in Uganda in May, so we welcomed him into the craziness and he adapted without missing a beat. We spent the 30th trudging through Boston in the frigid weather and introduced him to some of our favorite haunts. It really was lots of fun, even though it was very cold. We played lots of games, ate lots of good food, and enjoyed getting to know each other in ways that moments like these afford. We staged an Open House on New Year’s Eve so that many close friends could meet Gabe and Derek. When snow began falling around noon that day, we thought few would come--but we thoroughly underestimated the determination of New Englanders! Over 80 came and it was a raucous time, filled with lots of talking and laughter.

While touring downtown Boston, we warmed up with pizza at Ernestos, our fav pizza place in the North End on Salem Street.

Just before the Open House kicks off, we pose for a family plus Derek photo.

The four Friesen girls, Julie, Lisa, Kari, and Baker (now 15.5 years old!), pause for a hug before Baker leaves for her home-away-from-home with the Martis family.

The Open House ended just in time for us to get to Waltham to join Doug and Julie Macrae for a New Year’s Eve dinner at Il Cappricio Restaurant. The meal was fabulous, making it hard for anything to exceed it, but the fellowship we shared did just that. Great last meal of 2009.

Our last meal of 2009 couldn’t have been better. We joined Doug and Julie Macrae at Il Capriccio in Waltham. Fabulous!

We bring in the New Year with a toast!

Back home in time to watch the ball drop at Times Square on TV, and to toast sparkling cider at midnight. It was a perfect ending to 2009 and we acknowledged that we are all blessed beyond words. Good-bye 2009 -- Welcome 2010!

Christmas 2009: The Celebrations!

Though EVERYONE doesn't share my love for the snow, I have enough joy in it for everyone who finds none. :) The December 20th 10” snowfall fulfilled the desire expressed in the familiar strains of “I'm dreaming of a white Christmas…” and set the scene for our California children to fully experience a Currier and Ives sort of Christmas scene. Kari and Gabe arrived Christmas Eve morning (after unexpectedly overnighting in Chicago due to delayed flights) and Julie arrived that afternoon, just in time for Park Street Church’s 4 p.m. Christmas Eve service. We love that service! Dr. Hugenberger does such a great job of putting families at ease and directing everyone's focus to the birth of the Christ Child. Our tradition of meeting the Paul Amico family there continued, as did our tradition of having them back to our home for dinner. We all agreed that it was the best Christmas Eve we've shared together and after dinner, the “Happy Birthday Jesus” celebration, and a few gifts, we reluctantly sent them on their way.

We’re NOT “Skipping Christmas” in Bedford.

Lisa and Paul take on the slopes...after dark, and after the kids have gone to bed so the slopes are open. :) No waiting!

The tradition continues: meeting the Amico family at Park St. Church for Christmas Eve service.

Paul, Dawn, Wiley, Hadden, and Lucy blow out the candle on our “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake.

Christmas morning was full of joy. Long past the stage of children wakening very sleepy “Santa” parents at the crack of dawn, we have to waken our kids by 10 so we capture enough of the day! Traditions run through the season...right down to what we eat for breakfast (almond puff pastry fashioned in the shape of a wreath and mini-smokie sausages), when we read the Christmas Story (right after eating said breakfast), when we open stockings (right after reading the Christmas Story), etc. Gabe, who has only one younger brother, was rather amazed at how long we can stretch opening stockings and gifts. Boys apparently don't linger over such activities and about half way through a marathon gift opening session, he said, “My poor mom! She's missed out on so much all these years with just boys!” It was really fun for us to broaden Gabe's perspective on other ways to do Christmas.

The matching jammies tradition continues, and yes, Gabe was “left out.” I had mercy on him by not making him pink jammie pants!!!

The girls have a moment of hilarity as they opened their stockings.

Smiles all around with new Red Sox gear.

We’re enthralled by Patty Benes’ gift to us of an artistic rendering of Campus by the Sea, based on her experience with us at camp this past summer. Her piece, entitled “Heaven on Earth” is one of the most remarkable pieces of art we’ve seen, much less owned!

We eventually got dressed and prepared dinner and the house for our Christmas dinner guests. This tradition, about five years old now, just gets better every year. Though we think the meal is great, it's nothing compared to the delight of having these friends join us for the evening.

Such a great group...We ate and laughed and talked and ate more, laughed more, and talked until after 11. Besides our family, we're joined by Hank Bazijian, Felicia Collazzo, Paul and Christie Borthwick, and Linda Colleran.

Christmas continues on the 26th, when our dear friends (and H.I.M. Board members) John and Marilyn Nugent join us for the next installment of fun with chosen family. They are loved by everyone in our family and as always, the morning passed way too quickly.

John and Marilyn Nugent joined us for Christmas the morning of the 26th, much to all of our delight.

The 27th arrived and the party continued. After hearing a great sermon at Highrock, we made a quick Dunkin' Donuts stop enroute to Gillette Stadium, where we watch a phenomenal game in perfect conditions, which is more than anyone should ask for on December 27th! After the game, we joined the team in the “tent” for a great celebration dinner and then called it a day. We enjoyed every minute of this “gift” from one our our players and his wife.

Dec. 27th: after church, a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts enroute to Gillette Stadium to see the Pats prevail over the Jags.

Great time at Gillette. Perfect conditions, perfect game. Go Pats!!!

Christmas 2009: Preparations!

It actually looked a lot like Christmas until late last night (Jan. 14, for the record), when Paul and I did a marathon "take it all down and put it all away" project, which was the first moment in this new year we'd had to de-Christmas the house. Though we're not totally put back together yet, only a few dozen errant pine needles remind us that the "most wonderful time of the year" is in our rear view mirror for the next eleven months, when the thought of hauling from the attic all those boxes full of memorable stuff will have new life.

Though we're very aware that the Christmas season isn't the most happiest time of the year for so many, we felt especially blessed this year to welcome all of our children home for the holidays for the first time since Gabe and Kari were married (Feb. 2007). The preparations began in earnest after we returned from St. Louis. Lisa arrived the morning after we returned, Dec. 13, and she was our first Christmas gift. What a joy to have our adult children home for the holidays! Later that day, we returned to Logan to pick up our dear, almost sister friend Helen Challener. Helen comes every December, and as one of the most servant hearted, loving, and hysterical people we know, she adds life and laughter wherever she is. She pitched in wherever help was needed, which was a huge gift as we faced a long list of "to do's" to be accomplished in a very short window of time. We had a blast and got a lot done as well.

First project - get tree. The frigid temps motivated a quick decision, and after the fact, we all agreed it was one of the best trees we've ever had.

We played as hard as we worked. I was trying to beat the self-timer on the camera...but obviously wasn't fast enough. :)

Success...finally! It was good for many laughs. :)

In the midst of fun visits and Christmas preparations, we did work. Counseling continued up until Christmas....and we had our monthly board meeting. Our youngest HIM Board member, Julie Macrae, turned 4-0 in Dec. so we celebrated her at our Dec. 15 meeting.

Julie Macrae was surprised by our little party in her honor. Pictured here are Lisa Friesen, Richard and Kit Hendricks, Guy and Barbara Steele, Carl and Kathy Blatchley, and Helen.

We also wrapped up our Patriot's Couples Study with a celebration dinner at Doug and Julie Macrae's home Dec. 17. Richie, head chef for Il Cappricio Restaurant in Waltham, cooked a fabulous dinner, and all who attended had a great time. It was a fitting end to a great season together.

These players and their wives faithfully attended the Couples Bible Study all fall.

We are so grateful for the mentors we have, and one of my longest running mentors is Gail MacDonald. Our personal relationship began almost 25 years ago, when we were all involved with Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship, and I was pregnant with Julie! Gail has had such a significant role in my life ever since and I'm always grateful for time with her. It was a very special treat to have Lisa join us for our annual winter get together.

Lisa, Gail MacDonald, and I enjoyed a leisurely and yummy lunch together, but most of all, we loved hearing Gail's wisdom and insights on life.

Here, There, and Everywhere!

We’ve been home less than 48 hours since the photo below was taken on Nov. 21 at the 5th annual Creative Memories Scrapbooking weekend so I suppose it’s no surprise that when we arrive home from St. Louis today, pumpkins and cornucopias will greet us as we enter our home. I’m sure it’s getting old to hear my surprise at how quickly the calendar pages are turning, but it is surprising! Christmas is two weeks from tomorrow the ads remind us; only 14 shopping days left. Does anyone else feel a little panicked at that reminder? We’ve got some catching up to do when we land in Boston this afternoon.

Back to the scrapbooking weekend, Barbara Becker once again staged a memorable and productive weekend for 25 very happy ladies. This year more than any other, there was less talk and more work done around the tables, but there was still plenty of sharing and encouraging happening all weekend. It was a special treat to have Barbara Seifert bring her sister, Lisa, and her mother, Judy to the getaway. Judy had never scrapped and she inspired us all by bringing vintage albums and beginning the task of transforming them into legacy keepsakes.

I gave three short talks on the enemies of contentment: environment, entitlement, and envy. As I prepared, I was reminded of how easy it is to let the complaining culture seep into my own take on life and join the chorus of whiners. It’s easy to connect with anyone if you have a complaint! I challenged all of us to be difference-makers by choosing gratitude and contentment every day.

Honestly, that wasn’t a very difficult assignment that weekend as we enjoyed thoughtful gifts from Barbara throughout the weekend, time to work on our projects, and the joy of being in Christian community. What a delight to be a part of this unique retreat.

The ladies take a break from their hard work scrapbooking to enjoy a wonderful dinner at the Inn.

Barbara Becker is the hostess for the weekend and as always, she made everyone feel very cared for and loved.

Less than 24 hours after the scrapbooking conference ended, Paul and I boarded a flight to San Diego for a week of mostly R and R over the Thanksgiving holiday. Lisa had arrived on Saturday, so we joined her and Julie in Poway for several days prior to heading to the Friesen Family Farm in Pixley, California. We so enjoyed hanging with the girls and experiencing Julie’s world at Physical Therapy School. Lis and I attended her anatomy class and my comment afterwards was, “I thought he was supposed to teach in English.” His vocabulary included very few words familiar to my ears! My respect and admiration for what Julie is tackling increased significantly.

We were fortunate to host a gathering at Julie’s home-away-from-home, honoring my sister-in-law Hanya who hit the 5-0 mark that week. Fun times!

We arrived at the farm late Wednesday night, and it was a true “homecoming.” Paul and I spent many holidays at the farm (where he grew up) during the first almost 20 years of our marriage and it was so familiar and comfortable to return. Paul’s oldest sister, Sandy, and her husband Wayne were well prepared for the invasion, so our days there were relaxing and so enjoyable. The next generation was well represented with numerous nieces and nephews and four great-nieces and nephews. Two of them were less than three months old. Our hearts are so full of gratitude as we see the mantle of faith being carried on so faithfully and we so loved being with these “kids” who have grown up so well and are living God-honoring lives. I really don’t think it gets much better than that.

Just before Thanksgiving dinner is served, we pause for an incomplete family photo.

Lisa and Julie with cousin Katie Herbst; these three were roommates in San Luis Obispo for two years and were so happy to be together again.

Besides lots of great food (which did not include the pumpkin pies I made, which lacked only one ingredient . . . the sugar :( ), we played the traditional family football game, harvested the walnut crop, had family devotions which included a family history lesson, saw the movie Blindside together (and highly recommend it), and hit a few Black Friday sales. It was with sadness that we packed up the car and headed south Saturday a.m. There never is enough time.

Our spirits were lifted by a wonderful couple of hours spent with David and Cherylyn Hegg in Santa Clarita around noon as we made our way south. We were most eager to see them in their new home and church, Grace Baptist Church. After a yummy brunch prepared by Cherylyn, we toured the church and were on our way. The Heggs are not just ministry partners; they’re dear friends and we were thrilled to reconnect with them.

David and Cherlyn Hegg welcomed us into their home in Santa Clarita as we drove south.

We rounded out that Saturday with two more visits: afternoon tea with Wendy Turney and her daughter Sara and her family, followed by dinner with our dear friend Wendy Offield and her son, Calen, and his fiance Amber. Paul will be marrying Calen and Amber in September, so it was really good to spend some time with them over a fabulous dinner prepared by Amber. It was such a good day of celebrating “chosen family” friendships.

Our next few days with Julie were relaxing and productive for “quiet” activities: reading, writing, and catching up. Just what the doctor ordered! Home on a red-eye, in time for 14 hours of counseling between Wednesday early afternoon and Thursday afternoon, and then the Patriot study Thursday night. Out first thing Friday for Charlotte, North Carolina. No wonder it feels like we’re never home anymore!!

Our weekend in Charlotte was delightful in every way as we plunged into the new world of Dan and Susan Yardley and their kids. We’ve journeyed with the Yardleys for many years now, all of which have been at close distance until last October when they moved to Charlotte. As members of the H.I.M. Board and close personal friends, we were very eager to see their new life. Every moment with them was a joy, from attending an uplifting Christmas concert featuring their well-known jazz piano teacher, to watching the three older Yardley kids each play basketball on Saturday; from playing a very fun game revolving around chocolate fondue to holding a cinnamon roll baking clinic, we were heartened by the commitment of the entire family to live together in Christlikeness.

From there we flew to St. Louis for our annual visit with Grant and Emily Williams and their three lovely daughters. They also are committed to honoring God in their home, and our time with them provided sweet fellowship and great joy. We are so thankful that both of these families are so authentically pursuing Christ and living for Him both inside and outside their homes. God is using them as salt and light in their communities which fleshes out our belief that the most effective tools of evangelism we have are found in our homes: healthy, vital marriages and families. We returned home full of thanksgiving for these two precious families.

Dan, James, Joe, Susan, Liz and Timmy Yardley pose with us after the concert. Their newly adopted daughter Abigail Ha-Bin was home entertaining her babysitter. :)

What fun to watch Sarah Elizabeth (aka “Elephant”) perform with her class! Grant, Emily, Meegan, and Madeline also enjoyed the show.

We flew home the 11th in time for the Patriot’s Bible Study and were all amazed that our study season is almost over. We’ve had a faithful, engaged group of 8-12 couples all fall and are so thankful for the opportunity to encourage spiritual growth in this very special group of people.

The pumpkins and cornucopias are now safely stored in the attic for another year and yes, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Blessings on you during this season of Advent.

Sunset on the Cape during the scrapbooking weekend...definitely put our very finite creativity in perspective!!

Sacred Weekend

It started as a “what are the chances” vision when Paul suggested we invite Gary Thomas to do a marriage seminar in New England. Several years ago, we were introduced to his books Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting, and Gary Thomas shot to the top of our list of recommended authors whose focus is marriage and family. His message resonated with our hearts at the deepest level and we loved the articulation and honesty with which he presented Biblical truths with reckless abandon of political correctness.

But great authors are not always great speakers, so on faith, we issued the invitation to him to speak. We were at least mildly surprised when he responded enthusiastically to our invitation, explaining that New England was unchartered speaking territory for him and that he’d love to have the opportunity to do more than run the Boston Marathon in New England. So we sealed the deal.

And then we heard him speak.

Paul and I were workshop presenters at the annual Pro Athletes Outreach (NFL) conference in February ‘09 and were thrilled to see that Gary Thomas was the keynote speaker. We were captivated by his talks. He was practical, profound, and provocative in an engaging manner and our expectations regarding the potential impact of him coming to New England increased.

The planning and preparing began and Paul’s vision took shape. Why not bless local pastors with a getaway night with their spouse and treat them not only to dinner and an overnight at a great hotel, but give them an audience with Gary Thomas himself? Our H.I.M. Board got “on board” with the idea, and board member Carl Blatchley and his wife Cathy began contacting pastors and extending the invitation, along with a complimentary copy of Sacred Marriage.

And it happened. An intimate gathering of 80 people experienced a night to remember on Friday the 13th as they were fed physically and spiritually at the Peabody Marriott. A great meal was followed by worship led by Danny and Rayna Oertli, and then the evening culminated with an hour-long encouraging and challenging talk by Gary. One pastor wrote:

“I thought I died and went to heaven this past weekend. What a blessing to the body of Christ! That was just off the charts in terms of ministry and encouragement and in offering hope and bringing couples back to each other and . . . you don’t have time to read it all! You bless me. You bless my wife. Be encouraged in all that you do for the kingdom. God is using you to change lives for eternity.”

Paul welcomed the pastors and their wives at the “pastors only” event Friday night and briefly explained H.I.M.’s vision for partnering with local churches.

Gary Thomas spoke right to the hearts of the couples in attendance.

At the end of the evening, the ministry couples enjoyed interacting with one another...briefly!

Another pastor wrote:

“I wanted to say thank you again for including us in the pastors dinner and overnight. As I noted in our evaluation, we found Gary Thomas to be a great source of wisdom and inspiration. A source which we’ll mine further and recommend broadly. This retreat came in a season when my wife and I are giving more attention to how our marriage is doing, as opposed to how everybody else’s marriage is doing, so we especially felt God’s touch in all of it.”

Friday’s pastors event was followed by a packed out all-day seminar on Saturday. In spite of heavy rain, over 500 people filled the fabulous sanctuary at Calvary Christian Church in Lynnfield, and the day was off and running.

It couldn’t have been a better day.

Gary Thomas delivered four inspired talks that were anything but “run of the mill.” Throughout the day, he developed the tag line of his Sacred Marriage book, which reads “What if God designed marriage to make you holy more than happy?” He challenged us to exchange the cultural message that “marriage is about me and my happiness” for the counter-cultural Biblical message that “marriage is about God and His design.” A gifted story teller as well as a prophetic teacher, Gary effectively communicated a compelling case for allowing God to use marriage as a vehicle for personal sanctification.

Gary was extremely well received by the over 500 conferees.

Besides Gary’s teaching, worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, whose music has worked its way into many New England hearts over the past few years. Workshops were also offered in the afternoon, giving practical handles on a number of areas specific to marriage.

Danny Oertli touched many with his original song, “Would you marry me again?” as he wrapped up the conference.

Jim and Sue Martis served as the event coordinators and did a thorough and excellent job. They also catered the lunch, launching their new business “MJM Catering.” Their team of volunteers came through in every area, from parking to making lunches, to posting signs, to tending book tables. Barbara Steele did all of the printed material for the conference as well as registration, and as always, did an “above and beyond” job. Allison Nash contributed her creative artistry with stage and foyer decorations. The team helped the day run smoothly and well, which facilitated the program and set the stage for the spirit of God to work.

Volunteers cheerfully prepared lunches for 500.

“Big Jim” Martis directed the catering operation, and successfully fed the “multitudes” efficiently in a short period of time.

Barbara Steele handles registration with a smile.

Evaluations confirmed that God had indeed used the day to further His kingdom purposes in the lives of many married couples. It gave us great personal joy to see the broad spectrum of couples in attendance, from those whose marriages have really struggled in the past and who are on more solid ground now, to those whose already strong marriages were reinforced. We feel confident that God did a work that Saturday which will have ongoing impact in the months and years ahead. More than ever, we believe that God wants to change the world...one marriage at a time. Saturday’s conference contributed to building into those marriages in a big way. All praise is His!