“Gratitude is the heart’s memory.” (French proverb)
A plaque bearing this message was part of my birthday gift from my dear sister Laura, and it sits prominently on our buffet amidst fall decor, reminding me that during this year of unexpected crisis and hardship, gratitude is a posture of the heart. “Heart’s memory.”
I love that.
Grumbling seems to come more easily than gratitude for most humans, and there’s been no shortage of fodder for complaining these days. Our “heart’s memory” of 2020 will reveal much about how we navigate this crazy season. Thanksgiving comes just in time for us to take a peek inside our hearts to see what memories we’re storing.
It seems much longer than 6 weeks ago that Derek and Julie and kids spent some days with us delighting in the beauty and wonder of fall in New England. We were fortunate to have enough crispness in the air to enjoy an apple picking adventure, and enough warmth to elongate summer with a visit to Good Harbor Beach and yes, even to get in the water. With tubes. Briefly. “Papa” earned more stripes with Nathan and Rachel by joining them in the (almost) frigid water, while Julie and I “lifeguarded” from the dry, warm shoreline.
Apple picking . . . an annual tradition.
Only Papa would ensure that these Littles would safely enjoy a float down the “river” at Good Harbor Beach . . . in October!
The magic of fallen leaves . . . endless fun making piles for jumping and hiding, and then making them over again.
Just after the Johnsons left, we had the joy of meeting up with lifelong friends, Paul and Cindy Beiter and their children Ryan and Krystal. We spent several hours over dinner catching up with one another and celebrating our decades old friendship. Paul’s parents, Don and Phyllis Beiter, served with MAF, and when possible, brought their four children to family camp. Paul and Cindy continued the tradition, not letting the fact that Ryan has cerebral palsy and is wheelchair bound stop them from coming to the very rustic Campus by the Sea. We all worked together to make that happen and the Beiter family impacted all of us so positively as they made sure Ryan didn’t miss out on the family camp experience.
It was so good to be with them.
Paul and Cindy Beiter, with their children Ryan and Krystal. It was a shot in the arm to be with them.
That weekend we headed to Concord, NH, for our annual apple picking outing with the Jarvis family, and en route we made a quick stop to check in on our dear friends and mentors, Gordon and Gail. They have built in to our lives in many ways over the 35 years we’ve known them and we’ll forever be grateful for them. Though brief, it was great to touch base with them.
Still working on the selfie shot, but we got most of us in this one!
On to the orchard we proceeded where we joined up with Skip and Avonne, Patrick, Kendra, Kara, and Isaac for fun and fellowship in the apple orchard. We met the Jarvises at Camp Berea’s family camp back in 2004 and are so thankful for the friendship that has grown between us through the years. We love this tradition shared with them every fall, which includes not just picking apples but leisurely dining together afterwards. It’s such an encouragement, especially to hang with the “kids” and hear how out-of-step they are with most of their peers as they walk “in step” with Jesus. Refreshing!!
The apple picking adventure with the Jarvises didn’t disappoint!
When word came of the death of my dear friend’s mother on Oct. 9, I was very thankful to have the flexibility to fly to Cincinnati for her funeral on Oct. 13. Another “silver lining” of Covid: our travels would typically prevent such a trip, so I was extra grateful to have no such scheduling conflicts, allowing me to support this treasured friend who was walking the path of losing her mom—a path I had walked just six months earlier.
It’s always good to spend time with Bill and Christi, no matter what the occasion.
Though now surrounded by bare trees and decomposing piles of dry leaves, these photos remind me that we were feted with one of the most beautiful autumns ever this year. Thankfully, God’s creative handiwork has been untouched by the many human dramas which have consumed us these months. Grateful for the many “Indian summer” sort of days in October, we were outside as much as possible, walking and drinking in the matchless beauty of the parade of colors.
Though most of our “work” has been chained to Zoom platforms, we were overjoyed to have the opportunity to speak for an in-person marriage conference Oct. 23–24, in Lebanon, NH. The First Baptist Church of Hampton Falls (where we’ve spoken at several date nights in the past) hosted this weekend getaway attended by about 15 couples and it’s hard to express how wonderful it was to be with humans in person again. Our last marriage conference was in early March! We were reminded of how much we LOVE what we do and of how powerful it is to be away, focusing on marriage.
The team did a beautiful job of making each attendee feel loved and important.
We followed all the rules to stay safe . . .
. . . taking off masks for just seconds to snap a photo.
A bonus for us was meeting up with longtime friends who now live in Woodstock, VT. We enjoyed hiking together on another glorious fall day and catching up with people we love.
John and Glenn Morley have been friends since we moved to New England in 1991.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, we hosted a sweet family of four who serve in ministry in Northern Virginia and are dear friends of my youngest sister. We thoroughly enjoyed the time we were together during their five-day stay.
Rob and Caroline, along with Frasier and Fisher, were delightful houseguests.
We have been thankful for several Zoom conference appearances in October. We did two evenings for the Iron Sharpens Iron Marriage Conference, we spoke three times for the Eusebia Conference, and we gave an evening parenting seminar for a group of North Shore churches. All of these virtual events went very well, and though we are not alone in feeling these online experiences leave much to be desired, as my mother would say, “It’s better than a kick in the head.”
Michael Curtis did a great job emceeing the evening parenting seminar.
We were privileged to partner for the third year in a row with Harold and Dalia Arnold (upper right hand corner), the founders and directors of the “Eusebia” marriage experience.
We finished out the month of October at Berea in NH speaking for family camp! We were overjoyed to join with about 20 families who spent Halloween reinforcing their family bonds at this high impact weekend. It was just the best to be doing what we love the most at this beautiful place with so many great people. Fall was still noticeably present, the weather was perfectly crisp but not freezing, the Blue Moon couldn’t be missed as it rose over Newfound Lake, and the fellowship for which we’ve been starving was soul-nourishing.
We hiked Sugar Loaf with these dear friends during “free time” on Saturday afternoon of family camp.
What an absolute delight it was to be with these wonderful humans at family camp.
Family Camp was followed by a week-long (but too short) visit from our beloved friend Wendy. Almost 4 decades after meeting at family camp in 1981, our friendship just grows sweeter every year. Wendy makes everything better and more beautiful, starting with her kind, generous heart and flowing through her artistic gifting. Every day was full of fun and adventure, whether we were home or out and about. She thoughtfully brought me sour dough starter and taught me how to bake sour dough bread and that is a gift which will keep on giving. I’m loving it!
My dear friend Wendy Turney spent a week with us and her visit was such a gift.
One of the projects while she was with us: sour dough bread lessons! So. Much. Fun. And yummy, too!
After dropping Wendy off at the airport, we drove to Northern Virginia to help Rachel turn 5. The joys of grand parenting! Before we celebrated her, they celebrated me. My November 5th birthday was a bit lost in the post-election confusion, but the crew in VA made sure my birthday was memorable, and it was. “Chef Derek” prepared a dinner fit for a king (or queen) of braised short ribs, polenta, and collard greens. And the piece de resistance was bread pudding with whipped cream, drizzled with homemade smoked salted caramel sauce. It was out of this world.
On to the 5-year-old: her “Frozen”-themed celebration was perfectly fashioned for her and she loved everything about it. She especially loved having Auntie Lisa fly in for the occasion. Actually we all did.
Pretending she’s a bride . . . though the camo leggings distort the overall effect.
My sister Laura and her husband, David, joined us for my birthday dinner a la Derek . . . it was phenomenal.
Dressed and ready for the ball!
All of her “Frozen” friends made their appearance on her cake.
The party really started after Auntie Lisa arrived.
Besides birthday celebrations, we took lots of walks, read books, and even went fishing. Nathan was over the moon to pull in a nice little fish who was coaxed out of hiding by the live worm bait on the end of his hook. So. Much. Fun.
The fishing adventure was a highlight.
Unmitigated joy!
In between the speaking engagements and traveling, we’ve done a ton of counseling (via Zoom), led both Patriots studies (with women on Wednesday and couples on Thursday nights), and have been working on a project which will be revealed in the next few weeks.
As we celebrate Thanksgiving this week, we are most grateful that our anchor, our hope, our purpose, and security are in Him. It’s a very different Thanksgiving, obviously, and for us the reasons are beyond Covid. Our usual traditions—spending days with my mama in San Diego prior to Thanksgiving, followed by Thanksgiving in Santa Clarita with Lisa and Kari and family, then heading to Pixley for an annual reunion with Paul’s family, and finally ending up in Riverside with Lisa for a day or two before returning home—have been completely suspended. My mama is with Jesus. Kari and Gabe have moved to Oakland. And there will be no gathering in Pixley.
So, though different, it will be good. Because “Gratitude is the heart’s memory”—and we’ll remember and we’ll be thankful.
