From Africa with Love

We’re not in Bedford anymore!  We left behind 4 feet of snow (just after the “most snowfall record” was broken and temps were still deep in the basement…) and landed in Entebbe, Uganda, with temps in the 90’s and the parched land longing for the rainy season to begin.  

What a difference 8,339 miles and 30 hours can make!

The month leading up to this African ministry/family reunion trip has been full (!): of ministry opportunities, of challenging situations, of seeing God’s power and presence in incredible ways. Shortly after my last post, we headed to California to speak in Brentwood for a couples’ dessert night at Golden Hills Community Church (GHCC). Before we got to the church, though, we spent an evening with a handful of very special Campus By the Sea (CBS) “kids”, then we had breakfast with a precious couple we married 2.5 years ago for a slightly delayed “annual marital check-up”, and then we had lunch with a dear engaged couple we’ll be marrying in September.  We work these trips!

Sweet time with Liz Aleman and Julie and Nathan Aleman in San Francisco soon after we landed in California.

Early morning breakfast with Drew and Dana Macrae for our annual “marital check-up."

Lunch with Ross Macrae and his fiancée Caitlyn before heading to Golden Hills Community Church for the evening.

Our evening with Johnie Moore and his congregation at GHCC was delightful.  Their “dessert bake-off” contest was very competitive (and yummy) and the packed house of couples were receptive and warm.  Phil and Heather Andrews, long time CBS’ers (Heather was “raised” coming to Campus By the Sea, and now she and Phil are raising their two at camp), spearheaded the invitation and we were overjoyed to have a reunion with about 9 CBS families that evening, some who drove in from as far as Fresno, Chico, and Redding. Such a great time! We’re amazed to hear from couples at the end of such evenings how much of a “shot in the arm” it was to have encouraging words spoken into their marriage at “just the right time.”  That is the work of God . . . and we are so humbled to be a part of it.

Johnie and Becky Moore were such gracious hosts at GHCC.

The CBS contingent at the dessert night . . . How we love these families!

We flew to San Diego first thing Sunday morning and spent a couple of days with my mom. She continues to impress us with her remarkable “can-do” spirit and her gracious heart. She’s always so grateful for all gestures of care and kindness that come her way.  While we may struggle with spending less time with her than we’d like, she’s always quick to say, “I’m so grateful for any time we get to be together.”  What a gift to all of us who love her!

Though our time in San Diego was short, we were happy to connect with all three sisters who live there before we headed to Del Mar for the annual “Increase Conference” hosted by Pro-Athletes Outreach.  This is one of our favorite conferences every year for many reasons: it’s great to have time with current and former Patriots on a more casual basis than the season allows; we hear great teaching and enjoy sincere worship through music; the accommodations are always first-rate and we thoroughly enjoy being spoiled for those few days; and we love teaching workshops on topics germane to healthy marriages and are always amazed at how appreciative the audience is.  For the second year, we were able to bring my mom up for an evening and we think it definitely ranks on the short list of highlights of her year.  We are so touched by the care some of the players (who have become close friends through the years) extend to her.  Since my mother’s love for football makes mine look anemic (and those of you who know me know it’s not at all!), few things could trump being in a room full of NFL players, including some of her very favorites.  Special time.

My mom was pretty thrilled to have Danny Woodhead and Benjamin Watson as her dinner dates at the PAO conference.

We red-eyed back to Boston before that conference ended (sadly) to run the H.I.M. marriage retreat, which seems like very poor planning, but actually was due to having to book our dates for the H.I.M. conference a year out and making the assumption that the PAO conference would stay in February where it has usually been. Alas, some things are beyond our control, so we beat a hasty retreat to Boston, made a pit stop in Bedford to change out our wardrobe (the summery clothes we wore in California weren’t quite appropriate for the winter wonderland we returned to!), and off to Newport, Rhode Island, we went.

Our annual marriage get-away conference was highly successful.  Sold-out weeks ahead, we had a full house whose evaluations affirmed that God met us in a significant way throughout the weekend. All praise is His.

We moved the weekend to the Hyatt Hotel on Goat Island after many years at Hotel Viking.  Though we missed many things about the ambience of the Viking, the Hyatt did a great job and proved to be very suitable in terms of conference space, meals, etc.  

David and Cherylyn Hegg, from Grace Baptist Church in Santa Clarita, California, joined us for the weekend to teach 3 of the 4 plenary sessions (Paul and I spoke opening night).  David is a theologian whose regard for the proper and accurate handling of God’s Holy Word is high, which is quite refreshing in an age when value is often higher on connection than content. Fortunately David does both well: he connects well and his content is substantial.  His teaching was appreciated.

David and Cherylyn Hegg are dear friends and ministry partners. We loved having them with us for the marriage retreat!

A moment of all-in-good-fun rivalry happened when Doug Macrae presented David, a diehard Seahawks’ fan, with a signed Tom Brady jersey.  :)  

Doug Macrae presents David Hegg with a signed Brady jersey . . . just what every Seahawks’ fan wants.  :)

With 30 of the 130 couples being “newlyweds” (married 6 years or under), we moved our newlywed breakfast to the dinner hour and had a stimulating time of discussion about topics relevant to their stage of marriage.  We were so encouraged by the inter-generational mix of attendees overall, from 2 months married to 46 years married, and everything in between.  

The newlywed dinner was well-attended and spawned some lively discussion.

Our many workshops also got very high marks, as did worship, led again by Danny and Rayna Oertli.

  

Maybe the two highest points of the weekend were when two different couples shared their stories of hope.  One of the couples had survived adultery, and testified to the redemptive power of God in their marriage and family.  Another couple shared that the threat of divorce by a very dissatisfied spouse had been replaced by a vision of hope for their now thriving marriage.  Everyone was moved by these stories: by the honesty and candor of the couples, and by the hope-giving message of the gospel.

Everything ran like clockwork, and as Paul and I drove home, we focused on how grateful we were for God’s faithfulness and to have such an incredible team around us.  As he said to the team at conference end, “There’s no way we could’ve come in on a red-eye had we not had the team we have.”  Though many contributed, a huge shout out to Kelly and Ryan Plosker (who did decorations and goodie bags), and Barbara and Guy Steele and Jim and Sue Martis (who did registration, desktop publishing, folder production, hotel liaisoning, etc., as warranted).  Without their huge effort, it wouldn’t have happened.

Part of the H.I.M. team that worked the weekend.  So grateful for each one of these servants!

Kelly Plosker invested hours in making sure everyone felt welcomed and cared for in the ballroom by her creative decorating.

Quoting from several evaluations that affirmed the impact of the weekend:

“Our first retreat and our mutual expectation for a clearer picture of God’s design for marriage was exceedingly met!  Thank you!” 

“Thanks for another Christ-centered weekend and for giving us additional tools/resources to grow our marriage and further understand God’s plan for marriage.” 

“Thank you for this experience.  It has been life-changing for us and our marriage.”

With only one week before our departure for Uganda, we squeezed as much as we possibly could in to those 7 days.  Shock!

Monday night we hosted an H.I.M. Board and volunteer staff appreciation dinner.  We are surrounded by such wonderful, godly, servant-hearted people and will never be able to fully communicate our appreciation for them, but we tried.  Fun was had by all.

Tuesday was dedicated to shopping for our trip to Uganda and packing what we could at that point. We had a full day of counseling Wednesday, and some Thursday as well. Friday morning we drove to Portland, Maine, to speak to a Mom’s group at Eastpoint Church and loved that. Friday night one of our couples for Engagement Matters (EM) who were staying at our home arrived, and all day Saturday and Sunday were spent teaching EM to a very full house. Saturday night we spoke for a New England Chapel couples’ night in Franklin, Massachusetts, and Sunday night we finished packing for Uganda.  :) Since we had to leave our house at 3 a.m. Monday for the airport, it was a good thing we didn’t have time to go to bed anyway.  :)

Engagement Matters delights us in every way. The 19 couples who attended exhibited such openness and genuine desire to hear important Biblical truth about God’s design for marriage. They asked great questions and interacted in and out of sessions.  We love wrestling with important issues before a couple is married and truly believe it pays off after marriage.  Hosted by the Bilazarians at their lovely Victorian home in Andover, we were grateful to have Carl and Cathy Blatchley on the serving team and Ryan and Kelly Plosker on the teaching team.  Our collective hearts pray that God will really use this weekend to better prepare couples to pursue God-honoring marriages.

Engagement Matters attendees March 14-15, 2015

The serving team: Melanie Bilazarian and Cathy and Carl Blatchley.

 

The warm home and yummy food were appreciated by all.

Several comments from attendees:

"I now have many tools to work on bettering my relationship and having a successful marriage.”

“I loved the tie back to scripture and the examples and anecdotes were good for getting a point across.  I also appreciated the resources available and recommended.”

“Everything was explained so well and in such an engaging way.  Everyone was so approachable for questions.  I loved it all.  Very well done.”

“It opened up many avenues of discussion, many topics covered that we haven’t thought through.”

Very, very thankful for the opportunity to speak into the lives of these young people and for how God met each of us during the weekend.

After such an exhausting week, we were glad to have some really long flights to Uganda to sleep and process. Off we flew in the middle of the night, just hours after Engagement Matters ended, and by Tuesday early afternoon, we were happily hugging Derek, Julie, and Nathan at the Entebbe airport. Twenty-four hours later, Gabe, Kari, Brandon, and Ana arrived, and nineteen hours later, Lisa arrived.  Family complete for the drive to Mbale as this long dreamed of, long planned for family reunion/ministry trip launched.

We are beyond thankful and thrilled to be here together, embracing the life Derek and Julie have had together the past 3.5 years. Since they will be returning to the states in late summer to begin Derek’s new position at CURE headquarters in Lemoyne, Pennsylvania, the window of opportunity to make the trip was now or never.  We are so grateful it has worked out.

My next blog will detail our time here, so for now, sending much love from Africa. 

Our first day at the CURE Hospital . . . deeply moving.

Warm Hearts, Cold Everything Else

I’m not off to a very good start in 2015 blog-wise. I’ve fallen way short of my newly set goal of posting weekly or at least bi-weekly. I guess I could blame it on the weather—that seems to be the catch-all for all that’s gone wrong so far this year. Alas, I’ll chalk my failure up to lack of priority and plan to improve in the weeks ahead.

Backing up to January, our Hawaiian refueling stop the first half of January well prepared us to embrace the frigid temps and warm hearts that greeted us at West Point January 16-17.  Tom and Cheri Austin, directors of Officers Christian Fellowship, rolled out the red carpet for us at the OCF bed and breakfast, and facilitated our speaking to faculty and staff on Christian parenting and marriage Friday night and Saturday.  I’ll never get used to seeing “Go Army - Beat Navy” signs everywhere, but that aside, our time was rich and rewarding.  A return trip is in the offing.

Tom and Cheri Austin, directors of OCF at West Point, extended warm hospitality to us when we spoke at West Point.

Home for only 4 days, we managed to do a full day of counseling, consult with a group of leaders from Cambridge Christian Fellowship Church on family and marriage ministry, unpack and repack, and then we flew to California on January 22 to begin a two-week junket.  The first major blizzard to hit New England arrived two days after we left, and, though most people thought we’d be thrilled to have dodged that bullet, we sorta hated to miss the historic event.

But we didn’t hate walking on beautiful California beaches, and being committed to making the most of wherever we are, we took full advantage.

How we love walking on the beach … and Pismo is one of the best.

The weekend was spent in Arroyo Grande, where Grace Bible Church hosted a marriage conference Friday night and Saturday.  This was our third conference in four years with this great group of people and we enjoyed reconnecting with “old” faces as well as meeting many new faces.  It was a great time of ministry, evidenced by encouraging feedback.  Paul preached on Sunday to wrap up our time there and then off we sped to Santa Clarita to “do ministry” with our grandchildren, Brandon and Ana, while their parents went on a pastors’ retreat with their church staff.

Some wonderful friends who helped make the marriage conference happen for Grace Bible Church in Arroyo Grande, California.

What fun filled the next couple of days!  Grandparenting is much more FUN than parenting, honestly, because the only thing on our agenda was keeping everyone safe and satisfied.  That’s it!  So we played from morning ’til night.  Walks to the park.  Baseball in the backyard.  Visiting the fish pond at the outdoor mall, and getting mini-donuts at The Coffee Bean since we were there.  Riding the merry-go-round.  Eating at Chick-Fil-A.  Picking and eating grapefruit from the tree in the backyard.  Building things with Legos.  Cooking in the play kitchen.  Wrestling with Papa.  Reading books. Baking scones and cookies.  Building memories.  Gabe and Kari had a fantastic getaway and we had a 48 hours of joyful bonding.  Everyone wins.

Papa, Brandon, and Ana having fun at the park.

Brandon and Ana helping Gigi bake scones.

Sibling love.

Nathan, who clearly isn’t in New England, says “I really like chocolate syrup!” As we’ve hit records with cold and snow, our children in Africa have been sweltering during dry season with high temps and no rain.

Back up to the Gold Coast of California Wednesday to speak at Grace Church of San Luis Obispo that evening.  Tim Thuele (lead pastor) and Ken Peet (family pastor) put together a teens and parents evening, focusing on relationships.  It was a first for them, and they hoped to have 75-100 out for the event. Everyone—including the dinner prep team—was shocked when over 200 showed up!  We spoke to the parents for the first hour, who were most receptive to some tips on navigating the tricky waters of preparing their teens to make God-honoring choices regarding relationships—and then the teens returned and the conversation continued.  Great energy, great attentiveness, great night.  Great thanks.

Ken Peet welcomes the crowd at Grace Church who came out for the parents/teens talk on relationships.

Next stop, Sacramento!  We welcome any opportunity to return to Sacramento and were honored to accept Bayside Midtown’s invitation to spend the weekend with them.  But first, we had lunch with some of our dearest friends and partners in ministry, Ray and Carol Johnston.  Not only did we have a great catch-up time over lunch, but Paul came away transformed fashionably through the efforts of Ray, Carol, Christy, and Leslie.  Since Paul has lost 35 lbs. in an attempt to get healthy, the Johnstons took one look at his over-sized jeans and deemed them “unfit.”  Thus began a crash course in “jean”-ology.  An hour spent in Nordstroms did the trick and Paul is now stylin’ in a way he’s never styled before.  Let’s just say that the cost of the jeans will definitely motivate him to keep the weight off.  :)

Ray, Carol, Christy, and Leslie Johnston give Paul a lesson about buying jeans.

The male models . . .

The Bayside Midtown conference Saturday was energizing.  We love to speak to audiences that speak back.  Interaction is good.  A great crowd showed up, representing ages and stages across the board. A mid-afternoon lunch with lead pastor Bob and Letty Balian and others was full of reflection of how God met us at the conference.  We taught at the church services on Sunday morning—Super Bowl Sunday, that is.  

Bob and Letty Balian lead the ministry at Bayside Midtown and are dear friends.

We managed to stay very focused at church, but as soon as we hit the road in Sacramento our focus switched to making it (faster than humanly possible) to San Francisco to watch the Super Bowl.  Unfortunately, it seemed that the Super Bowl wasn’t a priority for far too many California drivers who were clogging  the freeway between Sacramento and SF, so we laboriously and frustratedly navigated the traffic and arrived to our chosen destination as the first quarter was ending.  If you’re gonna miss a quarter, best it be the first and not the last (especially of this game, as it turned out). We thoroughly enjoyed watching the game with fellow Pats’ fans and dear friends John and Marilyn Nugent, especially after Malcolm Butler made his game-saving interception in the end zone.  Unforgettable in such a happy way, driving out the unforgettable memories of the last two Super Bowl heartbreaks.  

Red-eying it to Charlotte, North Carolina, after the game, we were behind mics just after noon on Monday, Feb. 2,  at Covenant Day School, speaking to the whole senior class on making God-honoring choices in relationships and sexuality.  We were pleasantly surprised by their attentiveness, interaction, and thoughtful responses expressed directly to us.  That was the first of four days of us addressing each high school class and right down to the freshman class the final day, all were delightful.  It was a bonus to have some time with the Head of School Mark Davis, who formerly served as headmaster of Lexington Christian Academy. 

Hosted by Dan and Susan Yardley, we also spoke to a Couples’ Date Night while in Charlotte.  In a beautiful ballroom setting, the Yardleys served a wide spread of homemade desserts and we presented on marriage.  It was a lovely evening with a delightful group of couples.

Dan and Susan Yardley hosted the lovely couples’ dessert night in Charlotte.

In between the five speaking engagements, we hung out with the Yardleys, had lunch with Paul and Kate Wylie, and ate dinner with Thomas and Margaret Austin.  Great times.  Canceled and delayed flights cost us some sleep on our return to Boston late Thursday night, the 5th, but we made it in the wee hours of the 6th, little worse for the wear.

That weekend was dominated by performing the wedding of Matthew and Shahrzad Slater.  Such a privilege to celebrate the sacrament of marriage for these two who are sold out to Christ and whose walk matches their talk. Their desire for a God-honoring, gospel-centered ceremony was fulfilled at the church and a joyous celebration followed at a downtown Boston hotel.  

With this crazy record-setting winter that Boston is experiencing, it’s surprising that our first event cancellation happened Feb. 8, as the third storm in as many weekends invaded the area, dumping 16” of snow over a period of 36 hours.  We were really happy to not miss this great storm that left everything blanketed with beautiful, crystalline snow.  We were sorry that the couples’ date night in Newburyport had to be postponed to April, but that’s how the snow falls.

Valentines Day was celebrated at the Black Rock Retreat Center in Quarryville, Pennsylvania, speaking for Summit View Church’s first marriage conference.  We were most impressed with this group who pulled off the retreat after their former pastor, who had booked us, resigned in the fall.  Rather than cancel, they carried on and we were all glad they did.  It was a very successful weekend.  On the way out of town, we “broke bread” with Bill and JoAnn Shore, one of our treasured mentoring couples who set the bar high for being “salt of the earth.”

Part of the Summit View Church retreat attendees at Black Rock Retreat Center.

While in Pennsylvania, another storm brought yet another foot of snow to our area, and we were anticipating arriving home to a driveway full of snow—not a great thought, since our arrival was to be around 9 pm.  Imagine how loved and relieved we felt when we drove home to a driveway that had been completely and meticulously cleared.  An angel in the form of Tommy Devlin had spent hours insuring that we’d be able to park in our driveway painlessly.  What a sacrificial gift of love! Blessed beyond.

This past weekend we drove south again, this time to Havre De Grace, Maryland, where we spoke for the second annual Restore Church marriage conference. That three-year-old church plant is exploding with growth! They hold services at 4 campuses and have just purchased 26 acres of property to build a central campus.  Jess and Elizabeth Bousa are providing great leadership and vision for this church which offers the hope of Jesus to the broken and hurting. We love partnering with these guys. A major snowstorm (there is a theme!) arrived midway through the Saturday conference, but we pressed on to finish and then struggled to make it back to the hotel. Two of the four church services were canceled due to the 8” of white stuff, but by the time we drove out Sunday afternoon, the sun was shining and the snow was melting.  There was no appreciable snow in Boston this weekend, but frigid temps did welcome us home late that night. It was -13 degrees on Monday morning.  Our 4’ stand of snow is going nowhere at this point.

Jess and Elizabeth Bousa work tirelessly to serve the growing needs of their church plant, Restore.

Paul preaching at Restore Church … in his new, cool jeans.

In between the many schedules to keep, important life happens.  We bring meals to our neighbor whose husband is dying. We grieve with the Hayner family when Steve breathes his last on earth Jan. 30.  We eagerly await the next post of Kara Tippett’s blog Mundane Faithfulness and continue to pray for God to miraculously spare her life.  We pray for health to return to grandbabies fighting viruses.  We listen to UCLA women’s basketball games long past our bedtime.  We visit friends in hospitals.  We sled down snow-packed hills.  We get our 10,000 steps in the mall because of dangerous cold outside.  We prepare for upcoming events, including our family trip to Uganda mid-March.  We enjoy being snowbound and make a bit more progress purging our excess.  

So we’re off and running in this new year and if the start is any indication, we’ll be running (sledding?) to keep up.

Finally . . . an update!

It’s been a long time since my fingers have found this keyboard to update our lives via this blog but finally, with 14 hours of flying ahead, here we go! 

Crazy busyness marked the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the first two weeks of 2015 have rather idyllically been spent in Hawaii: a vacation around speaking at a marriage conference.  Tough gig, but someone has to do it.  Though fully intending to write this before the new year launched, the mesmerizing tranquility of the island trade winds and nirvana-esque existence framing each day drained me of all motivation to get anything done that was unrelated to discovering the beauty of God’s creation in the sea and on the land.  

So here we are, flying to the frigid northeast after spending two weeks in daily temps of 80 degrees.  The adjustment might be brutal—unless there’s snow to play in. Only then is cold redeemed.  :)

Very briefly recapping, Thanksgiving was spent with my mom and siblings in San Diego at sister Sue’s house.  Lisa, Paul, and I drove down for the day since Lisa had to be back for UCLA vs. Nebraska on Friday, but it was a sweet day.  Holidays, especially the “firsts” without a loved one, seem to stir deep emotions and that was certainly true for us as we had our first Thanksgiving without our beloved father.  Many happy memories of Thanksgivings past surfaced, and though tinged with the sadness of his absence, our focus was gratitude for the richness of our many years together.

A fair representation of the Collins family line gathered at my sister Sue’s home for Thanksgiving.

The balance of the weekend was full of fun moments: the UCLA women’s basketball game, which we lost but we loved seeing in person; Black Friday fabric shopping deals (and a few other deals as well!); the Garcias, who returned early from Sacramento making it possible to have a Thanksgiving celebration with them and Lisa in Santa Clarita on the first Sunday of Advent.  

Coach Cori Close inspires her team, though their efforts fell short vs Nebraska.

Brandon and Auntie Lili at our Thanksgiving-on-1st-Advent-Sunday celebration enjoying their “name card cookies."

It all ended too quickly and suddenly we were on our way to Orlando, Florida, to speak at the Christian Conference and Camping Association (CCCA) national conference.  Formerly known as CCI, we were quite involved with them in our early years of running CBS, but it had been 20 years since we had been at one of their conferences.  What a joyful reunion!!!  We love the work of CCCA.  Back in the day, it was so life-giving for us to attend these conferences and rub shoulders with those in like-profession with similar challenges and mutual understanding.  It was as though no time had passed, honestly.  Some of our long time camping cronies were there and conversations revealed that we still understand each other and the challenges and delights of camping ministry.

Our two workshops were well attended (packed and overflowing) and we’ve received very positive feedback, including a tentative invite to speak at next year’s conference.  We spoke on marriage and family issues in the camping context and there was high interest in the sessions.  

But the highlight of the conference was connecting with Gabe and Rosemary Valencia, who direct Mile High Pines Camp in Angeles Oaks, California.  Gabe seemed exceptionally thrilled to meet us when he found out we were from Campus by the Sea and then he explained that he had come to CBS in the early 80’s with Father Norm Supenchek and there had met Christ.  He said he had always wanted to relate his story to those responsible for the work there and finally was able to do that upon meeting us.  He and his wife have raised 5 great kids at their camp and have had a significant impact on the Kingdom, all beginning with his surrender to Christ at CBS in ’80’s.  What a gift for us to hear his story!!!  God is so faithful and good.

Gabe and Rosemary Valencia encourage us with their story at at the CCCA Conference in Orlando.

We spent a couple of days in Vero Beach following the conference, writing and working on curriculum.  Though the somewhat stormy weather did not cooperate with helping us get a head start on our tans for Hawaii, we had long walks on the beach twice daily anyway.  Great time.  Home on the 9th of December, it suddenly didn’t seem that wise that we spent those days in Vero as I counted only 7 days between then and when the Johnsons would arrive from Uganda.  We returned to a home still decorated for fall and uncut flannel for Christmas jammies—and a schedule full of counseling and Patriots events, as well as a few houseguests along the line.   

No time for eating bonbons.  Start your engines.  We were off and running.

Cutting out flannel.  Sewing.  Sending packages.  Baking gingerbread houses.  Decorating.  Making ornaments.  Last minute shopping.  More packages.  Caramel corn.  Jam.  Welcoming a brief but wonderful visit with Elsa Stanley, who was in town for a teachers’ conference.  Picking the Johnsons up at Logan—oh, happy day!—and seeing our house and its perils through the eyes of a 16-month-old adorable and curious explorer.  

Elsa Stanley, whose dad Mark we’ve known since we were students at SDSU, graced us with a sweet visit upon our return from Florida.

In the midst of super-productivity, we wisely took some time to enjoy the season.  A small group of Patriots accompanied us to the Highrock Church Christmas Concert, which ranks among the top musical celebrations of the season we’ve ever experienced.  Plan to attend next December if you want to be exhilarated by exceptional talent and unmitigated passion expressed by the choir.  We also had a lovely evening out with our dear friends Doug and Julie Macrae, whose presence we miss greatly since they moved to Florida.  My dear friend Helen spend several days with us, serving as my "right hand elf” in wrapping, packing, sewing bows on jammies, etc.  She willingly did whatever needed to be done, and without her, I really wouldn’t have accomplished my scaled down “to do” list.  Friends who are willing to serve in the midst of their own frenzy are so rare and such gifts.

Besides all the preparations for Christmas, we did many hours of counseling and wrapped up our Patriots women’s study as well as our couples’ study.  We are so thankful for such a high level of interest and participation in both studies this fall.  The women really “got into” the book Mended by Angie Smith, which promoted a lot of good discussion.  We closed out our season together by making cinnamon rolls and having a goofy gift exchange.  I really miss meeting with the ladies.

Just before Thanksgiving, we made apple pies from scratch at the Patriots women’s study.

At our last meeting, after making cinnamon rolls, we exchange goofy gifts, some of which are displayed.

For the final couples’ study, we invited David Swaim (lead pastor of Highrock Church in Arlington, Massachusetts) to speak, and he did a great job.  There was a lot of great interaction with a large group of couples all fall; we continue to pray for eternal fruit.

Our final Patriots couples’ study night . . . missing four couples who had come all season. It was a great group.

UCLA gave us a Christmas present by scheduling a game against UConn women on Dec. 21.  We had 25 UCLA fans join us at the game . . . though we barely put a dent in the crowd of 9,000 UConn crazies.  :)  After a tough loss, we got to take Lisa home with us for Christmas!  Such joy.

"Go Bruins” was lost in the huge crowd of UConn fans, but we were there!!

Our 5 days together for Christmas were full of delight. The girls were game to decorate the traditional gingerbread houses, finish up baking, make deliveries, wrap, etc.  We had the loveliest Christmas Eve celebration, starting with church at Highrock, followed by dinner at our home with Paul and Dawn Amico and their three great kids.  Nathan loved having some kids to play with and all enjoyed our Happy Birthday Jesus cake, served with homemade peppermint ice cream. 

Hadden, Lucy, and Wiley join Papa and Nathan in singing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus.

Christmas Day, though not “white,” was full of precious moments and celebration.  Nathan was pretty excited about his Little Tikes basketball hoop and entertained all of us for hours as he shot hoops.  We moved slowly through the day, savoring the Christ Child and each other.  Opening gifts provided everything from the hilarious to the poignant and, as always, produced repeatable sound bites.  Hank Bazigian joined us for dinner, continuing that loved tradition, and we eventually closed the books on Christmas 2014.  Lisa left very early the next morning to return to her duties at UCLA.

This little boy is all about balls!  Christmas morning fun.

Paul, Lisa, Julie, and Hank strike a natural pose for the photographer.

We had a few more happily exhausting days with Derek, Julie, and Nathan, and then WE were off to Hawaii (Dec. 30.)  It was so hard to leave before Johnsons left, but our schedule is so packed between now and this coming September, that we had to grab some renewing vacation time before our life ramps up this weekend.

And that’s what we got.  A dear friend loaned us her condo on the Big Island and we spent 9 days there, exploring, snorkeling, hiking, swimming, discovering, and relaxing.  It was everything and more than we had hoped for. Beautiful weather. Lots of turtles and fishes. Great pineapples, papayas, and bananas.  Beautiful sunrises and spectacular sunsets.  We were even fortunate to cross paths with Linda Bartel Dismukes, (she went to SDSU with me and has been involved with CBS since college), who is serving at YWAM Kona currently, and with our nephew Mark Herbst and his wife, Angie, who were vacationing on the same island at the same time. Every day was pretty amazing, and the beauty and diversity of creation continually pointed us to Creator God.

Linda Bartel Dismukes joined us for coffee in downtown Kona.

We spent a great evening with Mark and Angie Herbst (Mark is our nephew.)

On to Kauai we flew on Friday, Jan 9.  We spoke at a marriage conference sponsored by Global Algae Innovations, a cutting edge company founded by our friends, Dave and Debbie Hazlebeck.  Long time family campers at CBS, they had a vision for encouraging and strengthening the marriages of their employees and included the local churches in the opportunity. Kalaheo Missionary Church hosted the conference Friday night and Saturday and everyone seemed pleased with the event.  The second annual conference is already in the works.

Church Sunday morning with Dave and Debbie Hazlebeck and John and Marilyn Nugent.

Our dear friends John and Marilyn Nugent decided to plan their annual trip to Hawaii around our conference, so we spent the last 5 days on Kauai with them.  It’s no challenge to find great things to do and beautiful things to see in Kauai, so we spent the days exploring, thrilling to see whales breaching, spouting, or waving a fluke, as well as watching graceful swimming sea turtles en masse. We could never tire of experiencing the wonder of our Father’s world and are coming home refreshed, renewed, and overflowing with gratitude and wonder.

We walked endlessly along the coasts of these Hawaiian islands . . .

. . . and at points, came upon sleeping turtles . . .

. . . or swimming turtles.  Any kind of turtles worked for us.

We landed back in Boston just hours ago and entered a wintery landscape. We’re not in Hawaii anymore!!  We head out tomorrow to speak at West Point, so we’re off and running, but we do so feeling energized and ready to get back in the saddle. This has been a very good time of rest and recreation for us and we are deeply grateful for the time and the generosity of those who helped make this happen in a variety of ways.

In the midst of all this loveliness and extravagance from God, we are aware that many are living with great sadness, pain, and brokenness.  We continue to read every word Kara Tippetts pens on her blog Mundane Faithfulness and we have not stopped praying for God to do a miraculous intervention of healing for her as cancer ravages her body.  Our hearts are heavy for her, her husband Jason, and their 4 beautiful (and young) children who are walking this very dark valley now.  Our hearts and prayers are constantly also with Steve and Sharol Hayner, as Steve’s health declines and hospice is invited in. Two very godly people who seem far too young to die, and yet whose journeys are teaching us that dying well is as important as living well.  

And so we take the broken with the beautiful and get a more accurate picture that He alone is our hope and that true beauty exists only because of and in Him. That which is broken is mended through His healing presence.  On the brink of this new year, we’re reminded that our souls will only truly find rest and contentment in Him. Reinforced for whatever lies ahead, we submit to Him with confidence that He’s got 2015 in His hands.

Of Sages and Celebrations

Thanksgiving greetings to all!  We’re back in California as we write, having flown here to celebrate this holiday weekend with our west coast family before flying to Orlando to speak at a camping conference.  It was pure joy to be gleefully met by Brandon and Ana this afternoon.

What a month it’s been!!  I last wrote as we were landing in California to speak at the Salvation Army’s Regional Officers Marriage Conference, October 27-28, which was preceded by several days of visit with my mom.

That turned out to be code for “we’re going to launch Virginia’s 60th birthday celebration with surprises at every turn” and we were off and running.  Paul and the girls had brilliantly master-minded an unexpected (to me) intimate gathering of friends who “bumped into me” on Orange Street in Coronado as we walked towards the Lamb’s Players Theater to watch “Les Miserables.”  And that was only the beginning of many wonderful celebrations, which made turning 60 something I wished I had done sooner.  :)  I can’t remember a time that I have felt more loved, known, and affirmed than I have been this past month, and if you were part of the never-ending-celebration in any way, from posts on my Facebook wall, to beautiful bouquets of flowers delivered, to showing up at or creating any of the amazing surprises along the way, thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

The “Les Miserable” surprise theater group, sans Gabe and Kari, who rushed to my mom’s house after the show to prepare a fabulous Mexican feast.

  

I am truly much more comfortable being on the giving end of such honor.  I love to plan the ways to love and surprise others for their special milestones.  When Paul and the girls asked me months ago how I wanted to celebrate my 60th, I was very clear that I didn’t want a big party.  I’m truthfully not wild about being the center of attention in such settings.

Semi-apologetically, after the first of two big surprise parties, they confessed that they couldn’t NOT have the parties because so many people wanted to be a part of something. They said, “We’d rather have you temporarily mad at us than make everyone else mad!” And they were accurately confident that I wouldn’t be “mad” long. And so I’ve been the recipient of kind words, thoughtful gifts, sacrificial travel, and great efforts by many to help usher me not just painlessly, but joyfully into the 7th decade of my life.

I have been more than humbled by all the expressions of BIG love. I have spent much of the past month feeling overwhelmed in an off-the-charts-delightful sort of way.  I have been genuinely surprised more than I’ve ever been in my life, and hence have officially retired the long-held belief I’ve had that it was near impossible to surprise me.  

HUGE accolades to Paul and the girls for planning clandestinely each celebration. They worked overtime….and dusted off their “effective lying” skills to pull the wool over my eyes time and again. They thoughtfully put together events and experiences that would be most meaningful to me. They sacrificed much to pull together unforgettable moments.  Especially meaningful to me is that all of my siblings and my mom, as well as almost all my in-law siblings, were part of the celebrations.  Julie and Derek’s desire to join the festivities was thwarted by living in Uganda, but they will be home in 3 weeks and we’ll get the party on with them then.

The Garcias worked so hard behind the scenes to insure success on every level.

Sisters Sue, Lucy, and Melissa with my amazing mom at the west coast gala.

The Friesen side of the family represented at the west coast gala.

Four generations of our family . . . so blessed!

Julie and Derek were at the east coast celebration . . . via FaceTime.  Here we are conversing in the midst of a room full of people.  I was undone.

Kari and Lisa give public tribute at the east coast surprise party.

I will treasure the memories of all of these expressions forever. 

That will be made possible in part by the gift of two beautiful books full of words of affirmation collected and produced by Kari. A big thank you to any and all who contributed to that treasured project. Very thoughtfully, my sister Laura even submitted several letters from my dad’s pen, written in the late 70’s and early 80’s, so even my precious father is on the pages of this incredible gift.  They will be thumbed through and absorbed over and again in the years ahead, as a gift that will keep on giving.

I have been the recipient of extreme generosity in so many ways—well beyond material goods (though those have been present). The generosity that has touched me the most has come through beautiful words written with a high rate of inflation—and I’ve had two prevailing thoughts. One has been grace . . . so much grace!! I’m not unaware of my faults and short-comings, and you’re not either . . . so the extraordinary affirmations which have come my way are framed in grace and love. The other has been “I hope these wonderful people will pray that I become all that they think I am.” (That thought was inspired by Elisabeth Elliot.)  

My hopes and prayers for this next decade are wrapped up in becoming. I want to press towards becoming more and more Christlike, more and more in love with my Savior. I know that will be the best use of whatever days I have left.

My real birthday, November 5, was celebrated from morning ’til night, starting with breakfast in bed from my above-and-beyond husband.  Lunch with a really special friend was followed by dinner and theater in Boston by several more very dear friends.  Every part of it was delightful. 

Paul, aka “Chauffeur Goober”, made sure that we got downtown for dinner and opening night of “Annie” on my birthday.  If he quits his day job . . .

Kari and Lisa flew in that weekend for more partying, starting with whisking me away to a darling cottage in Ogunquit, Maine, where I was surprised by a small gathering that included two of my sisters and a few other “chosen” sisters.  Long walks on the beach, great meals, and lots of talking and laughter filled the next 48 hours in a most unforgettable weekend. That was capped by a large surprise party hosted by the Ploskers and the seemingly unending string of surprises came to a close. After open mic times at both west coast and east coast parties, I said I felt I had been at my own funeral. There’s something to that.  It’s life giving and motivating to be encouraged and affirmed generously.

Kari and Lisa flew in from California for more birthday surprises.

Decked out and ready to join the 60’s club.

Two more sisters, Francene and Laura (and husband David, who drove up from Virginia for the celebrations), were in on the Maine getaway weekend in a big way.  Sweet, sweet time.  Laura planned and executed all the meals, including an out-of-this-world Maine lobster dinner.

And finally: the brother!  I was deeply touched by the efforts made by all my siblings to join in the celebration.  My brother Frank and and my sister Francene both traveled from VA to surprise me.

In the midst of this epic milestone celebration, we have been doing ministry. Back to the Salvation Army, we spent two incredible days with the officers from the Greater Los Angeles area looking at God’s design for marriage and ministry.  We fell in love with this very special group of ministers.  They are committed to living sacrificially for the Kingdom to a degree we seldom see.  Their focus is to come alongside the most broken in our world, and give them “soap, soup, and salvation.” Their thrift stores support their drug rehab program, which boasts a 28% success rate for those who go through the (free) program.  We had great interaction with them as they wrestle with balancing the demands of ministry (endless) and their families (also endless.)  Several weeks after the conference, Major Ian Robinson wrote:

"People are still talking about the retreat and how it impacted their lives and marriages.”

Several other officers have booked us to speak for their locales, and others have written to let us know that the retreat was rather life-changing.  Thank you, faithful God!!  We’re not confused about Who changes lives.  

We are so thankful to have had this opportunity and encourage you to contribute to the red kettles manned by  those very hard-working Salvation Army bell-ringers during this Christmas season.

Part of the Salvation Army officers who attended the marriage conference at their retreat center, Mt. Crags, in Malibu Canyon.

Colonel Doug and Colleen Riley were instrumental in the success of the conference.

We flew back to Boston as soon as the conference ended late Tuesday, and were in the saddle for the Patriots women's study onWednesday morning, Oct. 29, and for counseling that afternoon and evening.  We repeated that on Thursday, with counseling in the morning and the Pats couples’ study that evening.  We are so thankful for a high level of interest in both studies. God is doing something among this special group.

Home just long enough to exchange California appropriate clothing for St. Louis garb, we flew to Missouri early Friday morning for our annual visit with the Williams family. Usually made in December, we took advantage of an unscheduled weekend (Halloween eclipses marriage conferences it seems!) for our celebration of chosen family with this precious crew. Those little girls have turned into very tall, grown-up ladies and we were heartened again by their hearts for the Lord and their healthy life choices.  Great time!!

Grant is the offensive line coach for Westminster Academy, the Christian high school the girls attend, and this photo follows a play-off win.

So thankful for Grant and Emily’s commitment to their marriage, family, and ministry. We love every minute with them!

Life returned to “normal” after all the celebrations ended, and the following weekend, Nov. 15, H.I.M. sponsored a one-day marriage seminar featuring Gordon and Gail MacDonald, who spoke on “Soul Care for Your Soul Mate.”  True sages, Gordon and Gail held the audience mesmerized by their living room conversation we were invited to overhear.  Married now 53 years, and each having logged 75 years on this earth, all who attended would agree that they brought something rare and sacred to the table. Having been very intentional throughout their life together, they presented a picture not of perfection, but of hope and redemption.  One person wrote on their evaluation, "On a scale of 1-10, today was off the charts . . . way over 100!!!”

So much wisdom was “overheard” as Gordon and Gail  conversed with one another as though none of us were there.

Calvary Christian Church in Lynnfield opened their doors for this one-of-a-kind event and once again extended incredible hospitality and warmth to all.

I wrote to Gordon and Gail the following day:

"We couldn’t be more thankful than we are for the day.  You and Gordon gave us all a gift we’ll never forget.  A look not only into your living room, but also into your kitchen, your family room, and even your bedroom.  You let us overhear your conversations about real life, which included failures as well as successes, the journey from a lack of understanding to understanding, selfish tendencies transformed by humble repentance producing unselfishness.  
You showed us how to communicate, how to honor one another, how to love.  And armed with the credibility of 53 years of marriage, you were most convincing because of the very nature of where your marriage is in 2014: tender, thoughtful, sensitive, growing, vital."

As we hear from attendees, it’s clear that God did an amazing work that day and is continuing to use it.  All praise is His!!

Gordon and Gail MacDonald have had a mentoring role in our lives for thirty years now. What a gift to us!

We went straight from the conference to Westgate Church to celebrate the life of Stephen Gerber, who passed away a year ago. We’ve had a long, sweet friendship and partnership with Stephen and Nancy, so Paul was honored to be one of the speakers at the service. Nancy and son Douglas put together a beautiful, honoring evening tributing their beloved husband and father, and the service celebrated not only his life, but his profound legacy.

Douglas Gerber conducts the choir at his father’s memorial service while his mom, Nancy, sings (far right, front row)

We spent Sunday with a precious congregation in Swansea, Massachusetts: Bethany Gospel Chapel. We love this group! They heavily support H.I.M. events as well as the ministry, and we’re thrilled to partner with them.  Paul preached and then we spent the afternoon in the home of Jim and Mary Klink, fellowshipping with many congregants over yummy homemade soup and salad.  

A portion of Bethany Gospel Chapel’s congregation who stopped by for soup and salad at the home of Jim and Mary Klink (back row, far right)

Just before leaving on this trip, we had an Engagement Matters weekend. Sadly, we “lost our lease” on the home we’ve held this conference in for the past 8 years (or more truthfully, the Macraes sold their home in Weston), but happily the Bilazarians offered their beautiful Victorian home in Andover center for the event. We had a great crowd, which very soulfully invested themselves in the weekend.  Besides us doing the plenary sessions, Ryan and Kelly Plosker did a session on their “Top Ten Tips for Marriage” and Seth and Melanie shared about their journey.  Lots of positive feedback at the end of the weekend. One young man said he had come with high expectations, but the weekend had way surpassed those expectations.  So thankful.

Most of those attending Engagement Matters this past weekend.

That brings us up to date.  It’s been a rich, full month of celebration and sages.  May your experience include both of these as well.

Hope in Life and Death

As the “Crown Jewel” month of the year for New England draws to a close, I continue to be consumed by the beauty this season offers. It’s been an especially vibrant, glorious fall, mesmerizing in a “don’t miss this” sort of way. The last vestiges of trees disrobing will fortunately play out for weeks still as we slowly transition into the bleak midwinter, which will eventually boast a beauty of its own. Death precedes life.

God’s creativity is endless!  Imagine—this is a small sampling of the pumpkin family!

I last wrote from Ann Arbor, where we spoke on marriage and family to a healthy group from Ann Arbor Christian School (AACS). We’ve so enjoyed partnering with these folks for the past several years. Dr. Wayne Sit, headmaster of AACS, is a Boston transplant and has brought to this school a great vision not only for academic excellence, but also for family success. Envisioned and produced by Dr. Wai and Elaine Wong (also Boston transplants), the third annual Family Seminar was very successful. 

Dr. Sit welcomes eager parents who gave up Friday night and Saturday to be encouraged in their parenting and marriage efforts.

A highlight for us was connecting with our niece and her family, Dave and Heidi (Rottschafer) Lemmerhirt. After attending the conference Saturday, we were able to spend several hours over lunch catching up with them. A truly delightful time! 

Extended family Dave and Heidi Lemmerhirt and their kids Daniel, Anna, and Josiah met up with us at AACS.

The balance of the time in Ann Arbor we were loved and cared for in many tangible ways by our chosen family friends Wai and Elaine Wong and their daughters Jessica, Leilani, and Jasmine. Great meals, great walks, great moments. We loved every minute of our time with them. We always leave their home refreshed and renewed, with our cup overflowing. Pure gift!

Our “last supper” with the Wongs before returning to Boston.

We flew back to Boston on Sept. 30, our granddaughter Ana’s first birthday. How can that be? It doesn’t seem that long ago that we welcomed this little brown-eyed beauty into our arms and our hearts. She is now walking, saying a few words, climbing on everything that’s climbable (or not), eating an amazing variety of food (considering she only has 4 teeth!), and making friends with everyone. She hasn’t met a stranger. What a gift she is to all!!

Ana Marie turns 1.

We were home long enough to do 12 hours of counseling and lead two Patriot studies (women on Wednesday morning and couples Thursday night) before we got back on a plane to Denver. Wes and Anna Welker invited us to join them for the weekend, which included seeing Wes break an NFL record for the most catches by an undrafted receiver in the history of the NFL during the Broncos win over the Cardinals. Very cool!!  We also spent lots of time talking about marriage in their “annual marital check-up.” We had a great weekend and are so thankful for the hearts of these two.

During the Broncos-Cardinals game, we had plenty to cheer for with Anna.

We landed at Logan on Oct. 7, just a bit after our houseguests-for-the-next-week Jay and Yukiko Dreves arrived. They hung around downtown to fetch us and we welcomed them to our home just after midnight. That began a very fun week with the Dreves, as daughters Sydney and Shelby arrived days later. Amazingly, we were home through Saturday, so we had a really good visit with them. The Dreves are longtime friends from CBS, and the girls both served on staff at CBS this past summer. Loved having them!!

Jay and Yukiko Dreves, with daughters Sydney and Shelby, had a great introduction to New England during their visit.

We did about 10 hours of counseling, spoke at Grace Chapel’s Mom to Mom group, and led our two Patriots studies before heading out. And before the Dreves left, we left. :)  Off to California I flew to spend a week with Kari and the children while Gabe took a graduate course in Portland, Oregon, and off to Florida Paul flew to spend a week writing his latest book. 

To say we had entirely different weeks would be an understatement. Staying in the empty home of dear friends in Ft. Lauderdale, he took two 5-mile walks a day, ate two simple meals a day, and wrote like the fury in between. He set no alarm clock and went to bed early. He was supported in prayer by many and received great input from his “readers,” chapter by chapter. He succeeded in writing 7 chapters and returned home refreshed, renewed, and very thankful.

Out in California, I set no alarm clock either . . . but a little humanoid found his way to my bedroom every morning around 6:15 to start the day. :)  We had 3-5 meals a day, and they looked nothing like the kale salad mixes Paul was consuming. We did get out in the stroller for a few walks, but most days my 10K step goal was met inside the house . . . playing tag with Brandon or chasing Ana who has a knack for being where she shouldn’t be. The only books I read were made of cardboard and had very few words on the pages, and you can be sure I didn’t write any. My baking partner, Brandon, and I made “Gigi Cakes” (cinnamon chip scones) and  “Gigi Cookies” (pumpkin shaped frosted sugar cookies), and Mickey Mouse waffles. And we played, put together puzzles, raced cars, went to Brandon’s pre-school, watched shark movies, went yard sale-ing, and tried to keep everyone happy, healthy, and safe.

We also spent a day at Disneyland, thanks to the Dreves, and Brandon had his first experience seeing his Gigi in Magic Kingdom mode. We got it done. Zooming here and there, with both kids in the double stroller and Kari and Lisa running to keep up, by day’s end I had 20K steps on my Fitbit (that translates to 10 miles.)  We had the best time. There is nothing like being at “Mickey’s House” with a 4-year-old, whose exclamations of delight and belief in the “realness” of fantasy give temporary reprieve to the reality of our broken world. We closed the day at 10 pm, beyond exhausted but in a most delicious sort of way.

After all was said and done, at week’s end, Paul returned to Boston with a good portion of his book written to show for his time.

I returned to Boston with nothing “tangible”—but the intangibles are off the charts. Each day we loved big, life on life, learning, growing, savoring. Pure gift. 

Brandon and Ana: brother-sister love . . . and “Giants” love to boot.

“Gigi cookies” all done: teamwork. Brandon was in charge of the sprinkles—and they were sprinkled!!

Pure delight with his first yard sale purchase.

Watch out, here we come!!  Perfect weather, lighter crowds, and happy kids. What more could we want?

Those rockets seemed as real to Brandon as they did to me when I was a little girl!

Paul and I met up in Boston for three full days before boarding the flight that today takes us to California to speak for the Salvation Army marriage retreat (with a couple of days in San Diego visiting my mom before the conference.)  Not surprisingly, we packed a lot into those three days . . .

We spoke Tuesday morning in Newburyport for their Mom to Mom group and Tuesday night at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary for their couples’ night. I lead the Patriots women’s study Wednesday morning and went straight in to 5 counseling appointments for the balance of the day. Thursday morning we spoke at North Shore Community Baptist Church’s MOPS group and that night led the Patriots couples’ study. Whew!!

We left each of these events with hearts touched by their commitment to honoring Christ by investing in families and marriages. Each setting was different and yet alike. We are grateful and honored to partner with these vital ministries.

 

Susie Miele Millian and her kids, Grace and JD, were at the Mom to Mom at Hope Community Church in Newburyport, MA. We’ve known Susie since she was young and have many memories of family missions trips, family camps, and family events with her and her parents. It’s so encouraging to see her and her husband, Tim, passing the legacy on to the next generation.

Dan and Lita Schlueter hosted our evening at the seminary and we enjoyed our time with them as much as speaking. Salt of the earth folks.

This month has been marked by a fair bit of reflection in the midst of the many comings and goings. Part of the introspection has been prompted by reading the blog of Kara Tippetts, a young mom of 4 young kids and pastor’s wife, who is fighting with all she has to beat her now stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Unless God chooses to miraculously heal her, her days on earth will fall far short of the “average” (by about 40 years). In the midst of immense pain and suffering, she manages to squeeze every thing she can out of each day she has. I have been so challenged, so inspired, so saddened, so convicted by her story. She is so real. So positive. So kind. So gutsy. So generous. So indomitable. So full of “big love.”

So gospel centered.

That’s the only explanation for why she is the way she is. Though I would love for those words to describe me if I were in her shoes, I’m not sure they would. So she is teaching me how to be “all in” when life isn’t fair, when the script isn’t followed, when things are well beyond my ability to control. Tough lessons, but I’m listening and observing and taking lots of notes.

I’ve also been reading several books which have encouraged personal inventory. Mended by Angie Smith is the book we’re reading for the Patriots women’s study and God is using Angie’s words to challenge me to trust that God will use the broken pieces of my life for His glory.  To love Him more fully and more personally. I’m also reading Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung and I’m finding it painfully applicable to my life. Hopefully it will have more of a lasting impact than Swensen’s Margin did. That’s one of the best books I’ve read regarding balance in life, but apparently just reading a book doesn’t change one’s life. :)

One other contributor to my reflections is related to Derek, Julie, and Nathan traveling to Cape Town for two weeks this month. Unexpected by all, it turns out that they were out of Internet range the entire time they traveled, and I had to wrestle with trusting God’s protection of them when I couldn’t check in regularly via text, email, or FaceTime. I am well aware that it wasn’t too long ago that this was the face of missions: virtually no contact for months and sometimes years at a time . . . and I realize how “spoiled” we are to be so connected with them though miles apart. It was hard to not know how they were doing and I was convicted by my little faith.

Seeds of growth are germinating . . . which reminds me that fall represents the Biblical truth that death precedes life. That is truly hope-giving.

Happiness is . . . a face plant in soft garden dirt!  Nathan’s joy is contagious.

A beautiful morning sunrise in San Diego.

 

Fall . . . beautiful fall!!!  We love everything about it!!

We've been home now for the longest string of days we've put together in 2014.  And it's been nice.  It's provided us with some great recovery moments, as well as time to work inside our home (the sorting, purging, organizing will never have an end, but some progress has been made...) and to relaunch counseling and our two Patriot studies.  

Recovery moments, needed as a result of my hernia surgery (now five weeks back, I have been cleared to run as well as do whatever else I wish) as well as from a long, exhausting, and amazing summer.  Paul and I have taken many long walks, watched a few movies, gone to bed early, and kept it pretty simple.  It's been good.

In between, we've sorted out life at home, tackling stacks of papers, piles in rooms, etc.  I should say we've “begun sorting . . .”  as this will be a never-ending task, I fear.  Especially since only one of us has a vision for making it happen.  :)  But there are fewer stacks today and order is emerging in several rooms of the house.

The slower pace has allowed us to do things normal people can do when they're not jet-setting about the country.  Like, visit friends who "cut the ribbon" (umbilical cord?) opening the doors of their brand-spanking-new school building for New England Academy (NEA) —their fifth child?  We were more than impressed when we recently toured the new home of NEA, founded and directed by Dr. Ryan Plosker and his wife Kelly (who are not only some of our dearest friends, but who also serve on the H.I.M. Board.) It was remarkable to see the the fruition of their dreams and visions for a well-designed school building that would meet the needs of the special community their school serves.  Incredible!

Ryan and Kelly Plosker's "fifth child"—a brand new home for New England Academy!

We were home to enjoy a meal in our home with long time friends Doug and Kelly Hart, who were visiting the area from Indiana.  We experienced "Bedford Days" and were reminded of some of the delights of living in a small New England town during the fall.  We attended church 3 weeks in a row.  That is a record.  :)

Doug and Kelly Hart have been in our lives for over 30 years.  Loved having them in our home!

We watched the Patriots play their home opener at Gillette Stadium for the first time ever.  All previous visits to Gillette have been in December (except one in late October, but it might as well have been December, as we had torrential rain which became snow during the game!), and therefore freezing.  With unseasonably warm weather last Sunday (the 21st), we left our jackets and boots at home and thoroughly enjoyed the game very comfortably! 

Check out those short sleeves!  Such a fun game!

We were home to welcome daughter Lisa "home" for five days of vacation, which included the Pats game, apple picking, eating fried "fish cheeks" at Charlie's Place in Gloucester, walking barefooted on Good Harbor Beach for a couple of hours, and shopping at the Farmer's Market in Boston. Great weather, great fellowship, great fun.

Yes, he can still lift his daughter to the top of the apple trees!

Lisa and Paul taste the spoil . . . Yum!

Good Harbor Beach on a lazy late September "dog day."

We were home to intersect with a precious family from California who came to Boston Children's Hospital so their 7-week-old son could have a needed surgery.  Only God could've orchestrated this. Starting back in 2009, when Julie went to work at the CURE Hospital in Mbale, Uganda, follow the thread:  she volunteered at the premier children's hospital in the world for treating children with hydrocephalus, where a treatment procedure (ETV) was developed by Dr. Ben Warf and Dr. John Mugamba, wherein the child with hydrocephalus undergoes a small surgery that leaves the child non-shunt-dependent (hydrocephalus is traditionally treated by inserting a shunt.) Obviously, this is a much better treatment plan for these children who live in mud huts and have little access to medical care required by on-going shunt revision, infections, etc.  It's also better for children who live in suburban neighborhoods with access to great medical care.  Though not successful in all cases, it has been successfully used to treat thousands of hydrocephalus cases, and the CURE Children's Hospital in Mbale has become a teaching hospital for the ETV procedure for pediatric neurosurgeons from around the world 

Fast forward to 2014: our son-in-law Gabe's best friend and his wife have twin boys in California in early August, one of whom has hydrocephalus. Dr. Warf is now working at Boston Children's Hospital . . . and several phone calls later between Uganda (Derek and Julie), Boston (Dr. Warf), and California, the plan is hatched to fly the baby to Boston for surgery.  Not only that, but the timing is such that other dear friends make available their apartment in downtown Boston for the exact two weeks the little family from California needs housing close to the hospital.  So exact, that the friends who opened their home flew out of Logan one hour after the California family flew in.

Who but God??  It has been so deeply touching to see how He has orchestrated all of this, down to every last detail.  The couple of times we've shared with this precious family have been so sweet as all of us grope for words to express what words can never express.  "Over and above all we could ask or think . . .”  That's what this is.

Besides long walks, simple meals, and sorting, we've also resumed our counseling schedule and launched our two Patriots’ Bible studies. We've been happily surprised by the high interest in both of these studies this year. There were 19 women out for the women's study this week and 24 at the couples study last night.  Most are seekers, which is very exciting and daunting all at the same time, and we are very aware that we're dependent on the Lord to reveal Himself.  Pray for these groups!  

This past Friday we left home to spend the weekend in Ann Arbor speaking at the Ann Arbor Christian School. Our chosen family friends Wai and Elaine Wong are hosting the weekend and if you can't be home, this is a pretty sweet place to be. Thankfully, we've found fall here, too.  

The view from Wai and Elaine's backyard.  :) As Paul said, "Suffering for Jesus in Ann Arbor . . . someone’s got to do it!"

Fall!!  Arguably the crown jewel season of New England, during which the sights, the smells, the colors, the games, the bonfires, the foods, the clothes, and the events all invigorate and enliven. Though saying good-bye to summer is never easy, the sorrow is quickly driven out as fall bursts on the scene in all her glory.  Drink in the beauty wherever you are.  Delighting in being home for a few weeks during this spectacular season, we are doing just that.  

Summer is done done

Do you remember the time when summer didn't officially end until after Labor Day weekend . . . and then some?  Though summer 2014 has for many been over since the middle of August (really???), our summer is only now "done done."  I'm flying home from San Diego today, after spending the last lingering vestiges of summer in that beautiful city visiting my mom and sisters.  Walks on the beach and warmish ocean water confirm that summer is holding on a bit, but when I land in about 6 hours, it really will be over.  With a twinge of sadness, I'll pack away "summer only" things—but a full and beautiful fall is in the offing, and life moves on.

We managed to pack much into the past three weeks (gasp!) post surgery. A few days of "what hit me?!” or "what ran over me?!” shifted my expectations of a "walk in the park" recovery from ventral hernia repair surgery to "I didn't see this coming" shock, but after four days of not much movement from the couch, we headed up to Ogunquit, Maine, for two days of R & R before heading back to California for our final family camp there.

Getting to be in Maine was so worth the effort!  We stayed in a sweet cottage "loaned" to us by our dear friend Hank and walked all over that adorable little seaside village. Early morning sunrises, fresh "lobsta" off the pier in Perkins Cove, endless "slow" walks on the beach, and nothing on the agenda but relax, relax, relax.  It was just what we needed and we felt very renewed by the time.

The sun rises over Perkins Cove . . . in the very still, cool morning.  Love.

Paul's "birthday lobsta" from dear friends . . . so yummy!

We returned to reality long enough to (re)pack, check in with the doctor (he said that all I was experiencing that was unexpected by me was "normal" - which seems like it shouldn't have been unexpected, but . . .) and off we flew to California on Wednesday, Aug. 27.  We had two very important birthdays to celebrate before heading over to Campus by the Sea, and we arrived just in time to make (Paul's) and  Brandon's (6)4th birthday cake. If it looks familiar, it's because it's just like last year's cake . . . only with a 4 instead of a 3.  Brandon's temperament is beginning to show.  :)

Gigi and Brandon decorate his birthday cake.

The finished product brought smiles all around.

Papa and Brandon break in his new birthday squirt guns in the pool.  Not sure who had more fun!!

What fun to have just over 24 hours with Gabe, Kari, Brandon, and Ana before they headed to Sacramento for the long weekend, and we headed to Catalina.  Love being able to celebrate these two very special men!  We were also thrilled to spend the night with Lisa in her new condo in Sherman Oaks.  She found a great place to rent with two other women and we loved "meeting" the place and the roommates finally!

Off to Catalina we went early Friday morning for the first ever Labor Day Weekend Family Camp.  The CBS powers-that-be thought it would be worth trying at least once to see if it would lift any burden off the very impacted six week-long family camps and to see if there is a market for a shorter, less expensive family camp option.  They asked us to speak for it, feeling that might give it the best shot at success—as well as direct it.

It seemed so simple a year ago to say "yes" to the proposal.   As the time drew near, however, we realized it would be much more challenging than we anticipated.  No one really expected it to sell out and have a waiting list months ahead, but it did. Just under 200 campers gathered for the weekend, and 14 of them were under 3 years old.    “It shouldn't be a challenge to pull together a staff…” proved to be the most unrealistic expectation we had. What???  As it turned out, few of our 2014 summer staff were available to serve that weekend.  One-third of them live far from SoCal (in VT, OK, WA, PA, FL, etc.) and most of the rest had school (shocking that Labor Day is not honored on most college campuses!), jobs, or weddings. In the end, though, God provided in amazing and almost miraculous ways to meet us and all our needs and the weekend went without a hitch. The staff team He brought together was incredible.  We were SO SO thankful when all was said and done.

Paul was honored by the staff  with a Shelby-directed birthday skit, since camp started on his real birthday.

We were very thankful to have Ray and Carol Johnston, along with their daughters, Christy and Leslie, serve on our staff team. Treasured friends for about 30 years now, Ray helps Paul celebrate his birthday with a beautiful blue, matches-his-eyes polo.

Lisa came through, recruiting Rhema and Kendrick (both UCLA student athletes) to serve on our staff.  They all did a great job.

Here's the team!!!  Such a great group.  We were very blessed to partner with them.  Four of them had never been to camp before, but within 24 hours, we were a well-functioning team—and by the time Monday rolled around, we felt like we had served together for a lot longer than 72 hours. Hand of God!

We used the first two program days of week-long family camp (transformation and proclamation) for the two full days of camp and the campers rallied around the themes quickly.  We had the dance night and ice cream social Saturday, and on Sunday evening, Paul and I spoke on temperaments followed by the worship at the fire ring and s'mores.  The weekend was packed full and everything went according to plan.  We all commented on how thoroughly engaged the campers were from the moment they arrived.  They squeezed in all they could, from waterfront activities to banner making. They didn't miss a beat.  We even had four baptisms!

Kendrick, Lisa, and I hosted one of the s'more tables, a first for Kendrick. He was a quick study . . . spearing those marshmallows!

We lost our sunlight earlier than we finished our dancing, so with the aid of a floodlight, the dance went on.  Very cool!

While we were committed to doing the best program we could, God was up to far more important things.  Here are some of Paul's reflections on the weekend:

"A husband, coming very reluctantly to camp, came up after a session asking if we had been living in their attic. “Those were the exact issues we have been facing.”  He later told us it was either a miracle at camp for them or divorce.  They left with a new resolve and hope for a future together.

Another single guest was in tears as she let us know she had never seen families eating together.  She later called her mom and asked why they had never been together around the table for meals.  Her mom apologized for this and a new bond was formed between a mom and daughter.

Another couple came estranged because of sinful choices the husband had made.  During the weekend there was repentance, forgiveness, and hope for a future.  It was a very powerful weekend."

And yet another: a young single man came really questioning his relationship with God.  "This is a make or break weekend for me" he explained to our staff.  God met him in extraordinary ways, and he left camp changed, committed to whole-heartedly following Jesus.

One woman wrote:  "We were tremendously blessed, healed, convicted, and guided to seek God in an intimate, surrendered way."

Another wrote on her evaluation:  "As I looked at the staff this morning (as they stood before us and sang the Benediction), there is such a 'sweet, loving, kind, gentle, humble, and pure spirit' among them.  That spirit of purity is the spirit of CBS.  We love CBS.  We love CBS.  We love CBS."

And one more:  "I feel that we got the best of the week-long camp smashed into a weekend.  It was such a great experience for everyone."

All praise is His.  Our desire is to live to the praise of His glory.  Hearts overflowing with gratitude.

We spent an extra day at camp, debriefing the summer with the senior leadership team, and that was time well spent.  We all agreed the Labor Day camp is a keeper.

Down to San Diego we went on Wednesday to spend some time with my dear mom.  It was a very special time to just be together. The highlight was being with her at her oncology appointment and hearing the doctor's report that her latest scan was clear.  What great news!! It was also fun to be there to host two couples who have been long time friends and colleagues of my parents.  It's very meaningful to hear insights from them of my father's life and its ongoing impact on them.  I love that! His legacy lives on.

One more highlight for me was reconnecting with my 7th grade Physical Education teacher, Mimi Test.  She was a young Navy wife doing her first teaching stint at my junior high school and my Mom took her under her wing as a very experienced Navy wife.  My mom's care for her and my "love" for her bonded us in a way that has never faded.  What a treat it was to spend several hours with her and catch up on years gone by.  She's a remarkable woman, full of wisdom and grace, and I was reminded of how blessed I was to have her as an important mentor during such an awkward season of life.

Besides people time, we walked the beach, watched the sunset, enjoyed simple meals together, and somehow managed to make 3 runs to Costco in 6 days.  We also had a special night at the Lamb's Players Theater in Coronado seeing a fabulous production of "Les Miserables."  If you live in San Diego, don't miss it.  They've just extended it until early November.

Walking the beach at Torrey Pines State Park . . . breathtakingly beautiful.

Lunch with Mimi Test and my mom was a true highlight of my time in San Diego.

All too quickly the time came to an end and I said farewell to my precious mom and to summer in the same breath.  The seemingly endless summer is truly done done.  What a great one it was!

The sun sets on the summer at Coronado Beach.  "The heavens declare the glory of God."  Amen!

I Must Stop Blinking!

Three short weeks ago we were wrapping up our 7th week at Campus by the Sea and today I'm 4 days in to recovering from my ventral hernia repair surgery, which took place Tuesday, two days after we got all of our New England family camp staff to the airport, ending our nine-week-straight-out-ministry-packed summer. I must stop blinking!!

If ever we have been more aware of God's gracious and generous hand of provision and protection upon us, I'm not sure when it would be. Arriving in New England on Sunday, Aug. 3, after red-eying it out from California just hours after wrapping up Family Camp 6 at CBS, we were concerned: about health, strength, integrating the supplemental staff who would be joining our very cohesive pre-existing team, the weather (something we never worry about at CBS!), etc.  

We prayed.  And prayed.  That God would supernaturally meet us . . . and He did. In spades.

Both weeks at Berea were exceptional. Beginning and ending with the staff, who became a team very quickly and served tirelessly and cheerfully.  We all agreed that it would help no one to talk about how tired we were, so at our first staff meeting that Sunday afternoon, we collectively pronounced, "We're tired!" and decided that was all that needed to be said. Naps during the first two afternoons and observed bedtime helped close the gap, and thankfully we all made it.        

We can't really say enough about the delight of working with this group of "cream of the crop" kids. They served well, modeled Christlike character, invested in the campers, honored the community, and had a blast together. Pulling together the "right" staff is always a challenge and God provided for all of the needs, some of which we didn't know we had until we had them!

Staff team for HIM/Berea Family Camp Week 1

Staff team for HIM/Berea Family Camp Week 2

Ashoke and Stephanie Bachew from Trinidad were our resource couple for the two weeks.  Ashoke's testimony—of coming to Christ from his Hindu background when 14 short term missionaries from Michigan did a Backyard Bible Club in his town forty-six years ago—was inspiring.  Only 7 children came to those meetings, but all met Christ and the six young men all went in to full time ministry (including Ashoke and his brother Kiki) and the young woman served in the education department of the Trinidad government and is credited with introducing Religious Instruction (RI) into the schools.  What incredible fruit!

Ashoke and Stephanie Bachew joined us from Trinidad for our two weeks of family camp at Berea.

Ashoke's story-telling teaching style was real, down-to-earth, honest, and passionate, reflecting the depth of his heart for the Lord.  Stephanie sang a solo at each session which was ministry in itself. They made themselves available throughout the weeks and many campers took advantage of meeting with them individually. They served well and were so appreciated. They were accompanied by their son Joshua, who took delight in serving whenever and wherever he could.

There were many unforgettable moments during the two weeks of family camp. During camp 1, eight youths were baptized and each articulated their faith journey with clarity and boldness. Four adults chose to be baptized during the second camp in the presence of a community they've come to know and love.

Newfound Lake provided the perfect setting for baptism for these eight . . .

. . .  and during week 2, these four adults.

On the last day of each camp, Paul honored Bill and Ruth Campbell.  "Salt of the earth" servants for Christ, these two are deeply loved by all who come to Berea.  Ruth's domain is the camp store, where selling merchandise is second to reinforcing Bible verse memorization.  Ruth rewards any camper who recites verses from scripture with "Berea Bucks,” currency honored in the store. She is loved by all.  Bill superintends the rifle range, besides maintaining the grounds, washing dishes, serving in the buffet line, or doing whatever else is needed.  They are rare gems who are exchanging "retirement" for full-on Kingdom work and are such an inspiration! From each family camp, Guy Steele made a banner for family campers to sign and express appreciation to the Campbells for all they do for and mean to family camps. It's always such a delight to honor such well-deserving partners.

Bill Campbell accepts the signed banner from Paul during our closing session.

Berea Family Camp traditions are so beloved.  The all family "finger blasters" battle is always a favorite. Inter-generational and all-out, the gym is the scene of unmitigated enthusiasm, competition, and laughter as the (mostly) harmless "finger blasters" are aimed at the opposition. The rules are ignored as are “hits," but everyone, from the youngest to the oldest, has a blast. Paul and I had our annual "shoot-out" each week and we both walked away with a win. Which makes it a "win-win." 

The staff have their own finger-blasters battle after the campers have cleared out . . . one of the many perks of being on staff here.  :)

Another beloved tradition is having worship and s'mores at the fire ring.   Following the game night, this is such a highlight of each week. Perhaps it's being in the great outdoors, in the cool crisp night air, with the expanse of the heavens providing the backdrop...but worship is always so robust, heartfelt, and joyful in this venue.  And interacting with family campers serving s'mores is a blast. Love this night!!

MaryAnn Bastedo, Melissa Kovacs, and Josh Bachew join me in serving s'mores at this station . . .

. . . while Shelby Krueger, Jessica Hopkins, Naomi Frey, and Elissa Johnson keep customers happy at the other station.

The amphitheater was packed for our outdoor worship evening and perfect weather enhanced the whole experience.

Long after most campers had left the amphitheater, Kelsey O'Keeffe, Kayla Krogh, and Scott Johnston kept the singing going with this little crew of siblings and cousins.  Endless worship!!!

Speaking of worship, throughout both weeks, it was stirring and unifying. Paul Gandy did a great job leading a whole new team at Berea; they didn't miss a beat from the opening session to the last. I love this picture of some of our almost 70 junior high and high schoolers during week 1's closing session.  

The final worship set for week 1.  I love this shot of some of the 70 junior/senior highers at camp this week.  They were tight!

Paul Gandy, Kelsey O'Keeffe, Dakota Baker, and James Yardley lead worship for both camps.  During camp 2, they were joined by Glen and Zachary Powell.  Worship was inspired.

Another highlight for most is being honored by a creative skit if your birthday or anniversary happens to land during family camp.  Directed by staffer Rachel Weeks (who did an incredible job all summer producing skits), this "attack of the ninjas" skit was wildly popular.  She never lacked for willing "actors and actresses" from the staff team to pull off these unique and personalized tributes.

The ninjas await their cue for the birthday skit.

All summer we pray for protection and safety, both physically and spiritually. And for 39 summers, we've been spared any really serious, life-threatening incidents. This summer could've changed all that when during the second week of camp at Berea, one of our campers had an accident doing a back flip at Sculptured Rocks.  Only the hand of God protected him from either death or a paralyzing injury, and after an ambulance ride and hospital visit, he walked away with stitches in the back of his head.  I almost didn't include this account, but God used this "near miss" dramatically in the life of family camp 2, so it would be an omission to not mention it.  Everyone was affected:  the forty or so campers who witnessed the accident (and who all, in some way, became a part of the rescue effort) and everyone else who became a part of the prayer/support team in the aftermath.  When he returned to camp with a relatively minor injury, no one believed it was due to anything less than the intervention of God Himself, who spared us incalculable  trauma and sorrow.  The impact was felt by all.  Person after person testified at the banquet about how God had met them through this near tragedy.  We have not stopped giving thanks to the Lord for this incredible expression of His grace and mercy.

Family camps are a lot of work, for sure, but there are moments of renewal and refreshment along the way.  These are a few glimpses into staff life "outside of the classroom."

Each week, the staff had an audience with Pastor Ashoke, who taught on full surrender and relationships.

A trip to Sculptured Rocks was fun and cold as each brave staff jumped into the frigid snow melt pooling river.

Twice-daily staff meetings were punctuated with occasional treats.  This basket of candy bars from Kelly Plosker brought smiles to all.

Creative rain gear (modeled by Jessica Hopkins and Shelby Dreves) was in order on Wednesday of camp 2 when a huge thunderstorm visited the area from early morning ’til late night.

Our California staff were amazed that even with such a deluge, life goes on as though nothing were happening.

In place of the daily Scar hike at CBS, this staff takes a daily 4-mile roundtrip hike to the lighthouse, followed by a refreshing swim in the lake.

This is it.  Final night . . . after 9 full weeks for most, and 2 for some, we join arms in the gym to celebrate the faithfulness of God.

And the next morning, after an all-camp photo, we sing "We love you campers, oh yes we do!" to our loved, departing family campers.

After all that, we spent Saturday, August 16, in Boston, touring and eating and enjoying all that is good in Christian community, before we went in many different directions very early the next morning. And just like that, I blinked, and the summer of 2014 ended.

One last hug before the team began to disperse.  So much love.  Such full hearts.

So there you have it.  A very quick peek into a hall of fame summer.  A summer full of grace, hope, learning, service, pleasure, growth, encouragement, exhaustion, renewal, and community.

Among the many lessons I'll take with me, one will be "do not blink."

39 and Counting!

No, that's not my age.  We've just completed our 39th summer at Campus by the Sea and we're just getting warmed up.  :)

I'm writing from Camp Berea on Newfound Lake, where we are hosting our 7th family camp straight in as many weeks. Though "tired" on many levels, I can't think of a summer that ranks higher in terms of God's favor on the staff, the program, the "aha!" moments, the decisions made to be more fully surrendered to Him, and the overall delight and joy of serving in this way.

All summer I've wanted to capture moments in words and have been thwarted by the 24/7 needs of running packed camps and building into our college students who serve as staff.  I find moments to write this morning as the shopping-starved staff spend part of the "change of pace day" at Walmart in the local town of Plymouth. Wild horses couldn't drag me there, but thankfully, they dragged basically the entire staff so I luxuriate in a very quiet cabin overlooking the lake.  Hard to improve on the inspirational quality of the setting. It will be a challenge to distill the noteworthy aspects of the summer, however, as there were so many. Nice problem, yes?

But first . . . we did have a "20" on a scale of "1-10" family reunion/vacation in Vero Beach, FL, during the first week of June, prior to beginning this marathon summer.  With the Johnsons home from Uganda, and the Garcias and Lisa from CA, we landed together in FL for a most memorable and delightful week together at the beach home of dear friends in Vero Beach. It would take a herculean effort to imagine a more perfect setting and/or experience.  Lazy days walking the beach, eating simple meals together, swimming, enjoying 3 little ones as well as 7 big ones . . . we all were exceedingly blessed. One of the highlights was a family photo shoot done by Gabe's cousin Joelle (www.capturedbyJoelle.org).  She spectacularly captured the unity and love of our family in such a memorable and framable fashion.  

The "Fam" in Vero Beach: Derek, Julie, and Nathan on far left, Gabe, Kari, and Ana next, Lisa next to me and Paul, fronted by Brandon.

Off to Catalina Island we went to begin staff orientation on June 16.  We could tell early on that we had a very special group of college students and that proved to be true in spades as the summer progressed. The difference this summer?  An unusually strong group of "all in for Christ" young men! They lead the team with a contagious fervor for Christ and what a shaping influence that had on the whole team. There was such a concerted effort to honor the Lord by honoring the community and serving the campers, "drama" was noticeably absent as well as any other disciplinary issues.  It's not an exaggeration that Paul and I thanked the Lord every night for bringing together this "set apart" group of young people.

We were also really thankful to have Dave and Vonny Bastedo as our right-hand people this summer. They did a great job of investing in staff and keeping the Little Gallagher's cove healthy and compliant. They also lead the college group for each family camp and were appreciated by many. They were a terrific addition to the team and truly lessened our load significantly.

First day of orientation week, we got off to a great start.

Five weeks later, seasoned and bonded, this amazing group of staff had proved their commitment to Christ as well as to the campers.

A few of my summer take-aways:

Great worship, lead by Paul Gandy and Lyss Gosselin (and accompanied by Robert Kovacs on the drums.)  Not only musically excellent, but their passion for Christ lit up the stage during every worship set.  

Great speakers.  All summer . . . all six weeks . . . great teaching.  Challenging, Biblical, inspiring, hope-giving. We are so thankful for all six of our speakers and their families for their faithfulness in teaching the Word.

Great family moments.  Gabe, Kari, Brandon, and Ana attended Family Camp 2 and we had many deja-vu moments as Brandon helped Papa ring the bell, eagerly participate in his class, move around camp as if it were his backyard, etc. Wasn't it only yesterday that his mother was that almost-4-year-old, fully embracing the delights of family camp?  Full circle. What a privilege to see the next generation grabbing the baton.  Derek, Julie, and Ana had a brief but wonderful 48 hours at camp just before family camps began and Lisa spent 4 weekends with us over the course of our 7 weeks. All of us agree that there's no place on earth we'd rather be than at CBS. That is a gift in itself. We also had a variety of extended family members come to various camps and we truly love that.

Derek and Julie head out on a hike with Nathan in the backpack and Ana on front.

Sisters and babies . . . such fun!!!

All the family minus Gabe (who was leading a missions trip)— We shared many happy moments at camp.

Brandon helps Papa with devotions.

Paul's oldest sister, Sandy Clark, and her gang, plus sister Beth and nephew Brian Rottschafer and his family joined us for camp 5.

Great hikes.  The "Staff Only" special hikes were all highly successful. Twenty-five of us hiked the "loop" under the Super Moon on July 19 and enjoyed perfect conditions. Thirty-five hiked the shore to Avalon on a Wednesday morning when the tide was lowest, and again had an "as good as it gets" experience. Our third hike to "Lone Tree" separated the "true" hikers from the crowd and 17 made this annual trek under a full morning sun. All three hikes built into our camaraderie and connectedness as a staff. Additionally, our daily routine of hiking the Scar Loop at 4 pm and ending with a swim to the line and back was good for physical and mental health.

The 6 am departure for the shore hike didn't discourage many as 35 staff made this annual trek.

Happy staff hikers conquer Lone Tree once again.

Great fun.  The annual game show, this year's rendition named "The Ology Show", was wildly successful and the hosts were dashing. Everyone participated, row by row, which provoked lots of laughter and fun for the whole family each Tuesday night. Worship at the fire ring under the stars followed the game show and s'mores put the exclamation point on that evening. Stand-up paddle boards, kayaks, tubes . . . dancing on the basketball court . . . hamburgers on the beach. Lots of summer fun was had by all.

The hosts of "The Ology Game" were joined by swashbuckling Brandon.

S'mores anyone?  Brandon enjoys one with his "Boo" Lyss.

Great moments of seeing God work.  We heard stories of God changing hearts, healing hurts, breaking down walls, giving hope. We witnessed commitments to follow Him more fully, to be more Christ-like, to proclaim His truth more boldly, and to be "fully surrendered." The testimonies shared at each closing banquet were so moving, as person after person affirmed the work of the Holy Spirit among us. All praise is His!!!

Great challenges.  In an unprecedented fashion, two of our registered and long-time family campers had to cancel just days before camp due to accidents which left the dads of each family with broken vertebrae. By God's grace, neither experienced paralysis but both face a long road of recovery ahead. Another precious young family came to camp in spite of huge challenges with the debilitating effects of the dad's stage 4 metastatic colon cancer diagnosis. It was so moving to see this young family (married only 3 years, with a 2-year-old son) press to be at camp in spite of enormous amounts of pain, etc.  Many more came to camp with internal challenges, struggling marriages, rebellious children, financial difficulties, health issues, etc. We were privileged to see God meet so many in some pretty dramatic ways while at camp.

Great protection.  As a staff, we were very aware of God's mercy on us in so many ways, but particularly in the area of health. Though a stomach bug visited one camp, no one on staff got it. One staff member had strep throat and that was it. One and done. Three staff members had a staph infection, and only three. We truly felt that God supernaturally spared us from these illnesses spreading.

Great hope.  We consistently heard campers express their gratitude that God had renewed their hope in Him and in His promises during the week. There can be no genuine hope apart from Him, since He is the author of hope, and that message was reiterated throughout the summer.

There's so much more I could say, but we're in the midst of family camp at Berea so time is scarce. For now, know that we are deeply grateful for your prayers, your support, your encouragement. We couldn't do what we do without a "village" around us and we are humbled to have you in our village. Pray that we'll finish strong. HIM/Berea Family Camp 2 begins Saturday and ends Friday, Aug. 15th. If you do the calculations, you’ll know that means we left Campus by the Sea on Saturday, Aug. 2, started HIM/Berea family camp on Aug. 3 after red-eyeing it to New England, and will go 13 days here without a break. We are depending on the strength and power of the Lord to get us through with health and effectiveness.

By His grace, many years will be added to the 39.

To Trinidad with Love

Ashoke and Stefanie Bachew are dear friends and ministry partners.

In 2000, we made our first trip to Trinidad.  We had launched "Family Missions Trips" at Grace Chapel the previous year, taking a multi-generational group of 23 to Haiti to work with "Hope for the Children of Haiti" (a wonderful ministry founded by Marion Austin), and decided to team up with Trinidad and Tobago Urban Ministries (TTUM) the following year.  Since then, we have lead numerous family missions trips to Trinidad and have loved partnering with them.

Ashoke Bachew and his wife Stefanie started TTUM over thirty years ago with a vision to evangelize their beloved homeland.  We fell in love with them that first missions trip! Their story is remarkable: Hindu-born and raised, Ashoke became a Christian when he was 14 years old, responding to the gospel message given by a group of short term missionaries who held a Backyard Bible Club in Ashoke's village.  He was kicked out of his home by his dad at that point, who was none too pleased with Ashoke's decision to follow Christ. That was 46 years ago and a lot has gone down since then. They have had a fruitful ministry which has produced many church plants, revival crusades, outreach concerts, and the development of a camp (“Victory Heights”) as well as a retreat center which houses their current church.  They have also sponsored a steel pan band that has presented the gospel through music.

In the midst of all that, they have raised 4 children, all of whom are following Christ and are raising up the next generation for Him.

Javed and Jen Bachew worked closely with the marriage conference.  Javed is Ashoke's oldest son.

So, when we received an invitation to return to Trinidad to do a marriage conference, we were thrilled.

Somewhat uncharacteristically, we decided to "play before work" and flew into Trinidad several days ahead of the conference for some R&R.  Having never been to Tobago, a little island not far from Trinidad, we headed there, and spent three days exploring that beautiful place.

That part of the trip was a bit of a mixed bag, to be honest.  We rented a car, having no idea that driving would test our marriage and threaten our lives.  The roads: narrow, winding, and terrifying. The drivers: fast, crazy, and terrifying! I can honestly say that we saw very little of the beauty as we drove, so fearful for our lives were we.  I'm not exaggerating.

We finally arrived in Castara, a little fishing village in Tobago, and we spent two nights there.  Our first night was a bit consistent with our drive that day. The hotel would have been fine had the manager remembered to equip the room with a much-needed fan and mosquito net, but lacking both of those essentials, we had a pretty miserable night.  We walked across the street to another hotel for our second night and fared much better.

We did have a great time swimming, snorkeling, walking the beach, and finding the mother lode of sea glass.  We met some fun people, ate some great food, and loved discovering a new place. And we did relax.  Overall, good days.

Eating lunch in Castara on the island of Tobago.  It was much prettier than this photo captures.

We flew back to Trinidad on Thursday night in time for the marriage conference Friday through Sunday.  We were so impressed that TTUM completely underwrote the expense of the conference, making it free for all to attend. It was held at their retreat center (which our teams help build through the years!) which made a perfect setting for the couples.

Ashoke kicks off the conference Friday evening as 40 couples eagerly gathered for TTUM's first marriage conference.

Our time was packed once we got started.  We were either teaching or counseling on Saturday from 8 am to 10 pm and then again on Sunday from 8 am to 3 pm.  We loved every minute of it.  Many of the couples were first generation Christians who didn't have great models of marriage in their lives and many were in the throes of raising children while struggling to make their marriages vital.  Sounds familiar, yes?

The retreat planners did a great job of putting the weekend together.  We were especially impressed with their Saturday evening "date night."  The beautifully-set room with tables for two made for a very romantic setting and the perfect set up for our talk on sexuality. This taboo subject was very well received and broad smiles were on many faces Sunday morning.  :)

A special dinner was prepared for Saturday night's banquet and was enjoyed by all.

The conference ended on Sunday with our final talk, followed by a time of sharing.  It was encouraging to hear many share about how God had met them that weekend. At least two couples said that God had saved their marriage at the conference.  How exciting is that??

Most of the couples were present for this photo taken at the end of the conference.

The final highlight before we flew home on Monday came Sunday night.  In honor of Ashoke's 60th birthday, the church had planned a big surprise party for him at the church.  So though Ashoke had invited Paul to preach that night, he was pre-empted by this wonderful celebration of Ashoke's life. The service was very thoughtfully organized and featured music, musicians, and messages that honored both Ashoke and the Lord. A birthday feast followed, and tribute after tribute was given to Ashoke, affirming the many ways God has used this man's life of faithfulness for kingdom purposes.  What a privilege to be part of this milestone event honoring a man we esteem so highly.

"Brothers from another mother" is the description of these two. Ashoke and Paul have very similar temperaments and really understand/appreciate/love each other.

We flew home just 24 hours ahead of Derek, Julie, and Nathan, who were arriving for a five-week stint in the states.  We counseled 10 of those hours, and also spoke in Springfield, MA, to a moms’ group for "Couples Night Out."  That was a great evening, hosted by our friends Mark and Caroline Funchion.  Only the sand in our suitcase reminded us that we had been in Trinidad less than 48 hours earlier.

Mark and Caroline Funchion hosted the couples' night  connected with the moms group Caroline leads.  She did a beautiful job on the dessert night.

And so the sun set on our mission to minister to marriages in Trinidad.  Talks are already underway regarding next year's conference.  We can't wait!

We have agreed that if we return to Tobago, we'll take public transportation.

Sunset viewing from the beach in Castara, Tobago.

Of Mentors and Neighborhoods

I love this photo from our wedding. 

It really captures the joy of the day as well as the style of the day.  Truly happy memories marched through our minds as we drove—on April 24th, a beautiful spring day not unlike the one 38 years earlier when we entered the covenant of marriage—to Reading, Pennsylvania, to celebrate our 38th anniversary.  Listening to the Carpenters crooning love songs which will always be connected to our courtship, we reflected that thirty-eight years is starting to sound like a long time . . . and though certainly all of the starry-eyed dreams we carried into marriage in 1976 haven't been realized, we both agreed that the theme song of our honeymoon, "I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow" still rings true.  God has been so gracious to us and we are so very grateful.

We had been home only 2.5 days before heading to Pennsylvania after returning from California. We left a day early for our speaking engagement that weekend so that we could celebrate our anniversary, and we had such a great time!  When the innkeeper at the Reading Inn heard that we were celebrating our 38th anniversary, he put us in the honeymoon suite.  :)  Dinner, poking around the outlets briefly (honestly!), and reminiscing about our years together combined to make it a very sweet time.

We took advantage of being in the Lancaster area and had lunch with our dear friends Liz and Steve Lane, and then spent several hours visiting our beloved Barbara Boyd, who has been a Friesen family friend/IVCF colleague for over 60 years. In fact, she was living with the Friesen family in Santa Monica when Paul was only 3 years old. We have very deep hearts for Barbara and consider it a great privilege to spend any and all available time with her.  Now 90 years old, she inspires us all the more. She is aging with grace and joy, and with a single-focused heart for the Lord. That's always been true of Barbie.  Having suffered the traumatic, unexpected death of her fiancé while in her twenties, she never married but, amazingly, carries no bitterness or regret.  "I've had the privilege of helping college students fall in love with God's Word through my Bible and Life series ( a discipleship program she developed for IVCF which was used for decades in InterVarsity's training camps).  What could be better than that?"  She has lived an "all in" life for Christ.  What a saint!

Barbara Boyd is one of our most treasured friends and mentors.

On to Marsh Creek Community Church for our weekend marriage conference.  Joel and Sara Schuster, lead pastor and his wife at MCCC, invited us to speak at their church after hearing us speak at the Brethren in Christ pastors’ conference last September. They are a young, energetic couple with a vision for reaching young families in this area between Philadelphia and Lancaster.  We loved working with them!  The marriage conference was Friday night and all day Saturday, and then we spoke at all three services on Sunday. Great spirit. Great time. 

Another highlight of the weekend was spending Saturday evening with some more of our very favorite seasoned mentors, Bill and Jo-Ann Shore. How we love these two! "Salt of the earth" for sure—their hearts, spirits, energy, and vision belie their over eight decades of life.  They are tireless in their efforts for the Kingdom and only eternity will reveal the lives changed by their unselfish devotion to investing in others. Every church should have a Bill and Jo-Ann Shore in their ranks.

Dinner out with mentors Bill and Jo-Ann Shore.

We also loved spending Sunday afternoon with Joel and Sara Schuster and hearing their hearts for making a difference in their community.  God is blessing their efforts according to many of the congregants we spoke with.

Joel and Sara Schuster were delightful hosts to us as we ministered to their congregation at Marsh Creek Community Church.

Home for two very short days, which were full of counseling and preparation for returning to the west coast.  And just like that, we were in California to speak at three workshops at the Thrive Leadership Conference.  We've been honored to speak at every Thrive Conference Bayside Church of Granite Bay has held and it's really one of the highlights of our year.  The brainchild of our dear friend Ray Johnston, it is a conference designed to "recharge, refresh, and renew" those in ministry.  And it really does!  Lacking no energy, it is a conference on steroids that reminds you that laughter is good medicine, that great teaching is especially important for those who teach, and that celebrating life with the Body of Christ refreshes the soul.  We love Thrive!!  Our workshops went well and we had many great conversations. 

Thrive kicks off with Bob Smiley, the comedian, keeping everyone in stitches.

Since we were in the “neighborhood" . . . we flew to Los Angeles to speak to a SS class at Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton Sunday morning.  But before we got there, we spent a delightful evening with our precious friend Wendy Turney, who feted us with an ongoing anniversary celebration.  Phenomenal steaks served on her beautifully set outdoor table: once again, amazing food exceeded only by more amazing company. We love any time we get with Wendy, which is sadly never enough.

A lovely anniversary dinner prepared by Wendy Turney, exceeded only by spending some quality time with her.

Off to Fullerton Sunday morning for an early breakfast with Luke and Lanette Lidyoff. They organized our being there and it was so nice to have an hour with them before the class.  We've known Lanette since she was a little girl coming to family camp at CBS; now she's the mother of three and she and Luke are continuing the tradition of family camp. Their small group had studied The Marriage App this past semester and that prompted the invitation. The class was packed and the group seemed to genuinely appreciate our time with them.

Luke and Lanette Lidyoff hosted us at Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton on Sunday, May 4.

Continuing around the neighborhood . . . we drove 4.5 hours up the coast to speak at Grace Church of San Luis Obispo that evening.  We clearly have a west coast mindset as opposed to a New England mindset.  We'll never forget when we first lived in New England, we were asking an older couple if their married children lived near them in Lexington.  "No, sadly not.  They live in Nashua, NH" and their body language indicated that the distance was great.  We later found out that Nashua is a mere 30-minute drive from Lexington and realized then that our perspectives were quite different.  This is clearly an area in which we've been unaffected by our now 23 years living in this neck of the woods!

We just love to partner with Grace Church any time we can.  We have great respect for Tim Theule (the lead pastor) and his wife, Susie, as well as for Ken Peet (the family ministries pastor) and his wife, Judy.  They've given us an open invitation to teach any time we're "in the area" and Fullerton is sorta in the area . . .  :)  We had a wonderful night speaking to a full house. The joy continued as we were invited to spend the night with the Theules in their very unique, intentionally-built family home in Arroyo Grande. Great time with the whole family before heading back to Santa Clarita to be with the Garcias and Lisa for a day and a half.  It was truly worth the drive to spend those hours on "the gold coast" and even more worth it to drive back to have those precious moments with our family.

Tim Theule welcomes everyone to our talk at Grace Church in San Luis Obispo.

Continuing in the "neighborhood" theme, we flew to San Francisco Wednesday morning to speak at Bethel Church's Wednesday night gathering  You may be wondering who plans our schedule . . . and I must confess, at times we do, too.  :)  Just mostly thankful we can keep up with ourselves still!  After a delightful afternoon with John and Marilyn Nugent, we spent the evening at the church and all went well.  Off early the next morning to fly back to Boston . . . for a few days, anyway!

Happy to be in our own neighborhood for a few days, we spoke at Free Christian Church of Andover on Friday night, May 9, for a "couples' night out" and then all day Saturday at Cambridge Christian Fellowship Church.  Both events were enthusiastically received, and we were encouraged to receive this note from CCFC:

"We had such a wonderful time with you and Virginia on Saturday! As I said on Saturday, I think the retreat really did hit the spot in terms of encouragement and exhortation for our marriages, especially during this particular season at CCFC. We have received a lot of positive feedback on the day, and are thankful that God really worked through it."

We're always aware that only God can change a life.  Our mandate is to be faithful, and that we strive to be.

Seth and Melanie Bilazarian and daughter Ani were in charge of the couples' night at Free Christian Church in Andover.

Larry and Jenny Kim lead the congregation at Cambridge Christian Fellowship Church.

It's been a full month, with a lot of traveling. speaking, and connecting with people in many different neighborhoods and ages and stages.   Quietly, but noticeably, the landscape has changed from the stark barrenness of a harsh winter to a kaleidoscope of color that robes spring. New life is everywhere, from verdant green lawns to tulips and daffodils blooming; from lilacs fragrancing the air to robins filling the airwaves; from azaleas and rhododendrons dressed to the nines, to long, beautiful, dry spring days which enliven body and soul. What a magnificent time of year!  

It's good to be in our own neighborhood right now to drink all of this beauty in.

Across the Generations

Once again, it's been awhile since I've carved out time to update our lives. I'm writing from Trinidad, after spending three days of R&R on the island of Tobago, prior to doing a marriage conference for Trinidad-Tobago Urban Ministries this weekend.  We're feeling refreshed, relaxed, and deeply indulged by the God of all creation who has outdone Himself in this part of the world. The beauty is breathtaking, from the incredible sunsets to the undersea life, all of which display boundless creativity and attention to detail. The heavens and earth do declare His majesty and glory. We are blessed beyond words.

The month leading up to this was breathless—in very wonderful ways, for sure.  The day after "Worth It", I flew to California to hang out with Kari and the kids while Gabe attended a conference with several pastors from his church.  What a joy to waken every morning to the very scary roar of a little "monster in the making”—and to end each day reading books and praying with our precious west coast grandchildren. In between, we did what mothers do: feeding, cleaning, going to the park, feeding, cleaning, playing in the backyard, feeding . . . you get the drift. I was amazed when Gabe returned that we had scratched nothing off our "to do" list (paint a room, teach Kari to sew, decorate Ana's room) and we were pooped!  How easy to forget how much energy and time it takes to run a household with young children. I loved every minute of it and considered it a great privilege to have received the invitation from Kari.

Superman and Wonder Woman kept us entertained and going during the week I spent with them.

I was equally privileged to be invited to join Lisa and the UCLA women's basketball team and staff for their end-of-the-season celebration/awards evening.  I felt so blessed to have been in town to accept the invitation from Head Coach Cori Close, and even more blessed to enjoy the evening. Lisa has tirelessly served this crew of 16 student athletes, 9 of whom have been re-habbing injuries or recovering from concussions, etc. When one athlete said, "Were it not for my angel Lisa, I would never have played any time this season" a murmur of affirmation and confirmation was audible in the room. She has made a great transition from JMU to UCLA and loves working on a staff that is very Christ-centered, from the top down. Very, very cool.

UCLA Women's Basketball Head Coach Cori Close leads the team with a commitment to Christlikeness. What a privilege for Lisa to work for her!

I took the train to San Diego on Monday, April 14, to spend the next week with my mom. It's hard to express how meaningful that week was to me for so many reasons.  First off, it was juxtaposed with the previous week, during which I lived in the midst of new beginnings, new life, the genesis of life's spectrum.  Being with my 84-year-old mom—who is learning to live life as a new widow—was rich, instructive, and oh so fun!!  She does make 84 look young!  Both weeks were filled with hope, life, trust, and love, which apparently are no respecters of age.  The most notable difference  was seeing life through Brandon's 3.5-year-old eyes, which were full of discovery, expectation, and virgin delight, and my Mom's 84-year-old eyes, which were full of reflection, wisdom, and contentment.  Precious moments all around.

Mom and I hit the road daily, doing errands, eating out, and getting things done.  We watched "Jeopardy" and "The Wheel of Fortune" nightly, had visits with all the San Diego sisters, and talked, talked, and talked—interspersed with laughter and tears.  We reminisced about my dad with great thanksgiving and acknowledged that his absence was profoundly noticed and painful. We also talked about how thankful we are that he is with Jesus and no longer captive to his broken-down body and mind.  It was such a privilege to spend these days together.

Our wonderful week continued when we took the train to Santa Clarita on Good Friday to spend Easter with the Garcias and Lisa. Paul also joined the gang, after having spent 10 days “introverting” and getting lots of things done for Home Improvement Ministries as well as a few household tasks.  He was at least refreshed, if not also rested.  Such a happy reunion!!

What a spectacular weekend we had celebrating the Resurrection!  The Easter production at Grace Baptist Church was so well done, as it presented the earthly life of Jesus using scripture as the "script."  Their Easter service was right up our alley as it included the great Easter hymns of years gone by.  Since sacred music has been such a huge part of our family tradition and there was nothing my father loved more than having hymn sings around our family piano, we all thought of how much he would've loved the service.  The memories brought tears, and then the realization that singing hymns of praise is probably what he's doing non-stop now, brought smiles. 

Great Grandma Essie is well loved by Baby Ana and Brandon.

Between those "big" events, we baked, played baseball in the yard, rocked a sleeping baby, discovered Easter baskets and had an egg hunt, took photos, enjoyed the Garcia's traditional Saturday morning breakfast of donuts from the local donut shop (which Gabe and Brandon fetch early in the morning), had a yummy Easter feast which started with artichokes and ended with strawberry cream pie, and reveled in being family by blood as well as by spiritual birth. It really couldn't have been a sweeter time.

Sending my mom back on the train alone was the hardest part.  We're all still adjusting to her being alone.  But she's strong and her confidence is in the Lord, and He will give her what she needs when she needs it. So blessed.

Four generations together, doing life, learning from each other, loving beyond differences posed by age and stage. These weeks have been a microcosm of family ministries, of why we do what we do to connect families and strengthen marriages. How sweet to have the natural laboratory of our own family fleshing this out!  

It WAS "Worth IT"

Admittedly, there are times of discouragement in ministry (and in life), and about 10 days ahead of our annual event "Worth It" was one of those times.  With a blockbuster line-up of speakers and a fabulous venue booked at Bethany Church in Greenland, NH, we fully expected an overwhelming response to this potentially life-changing—and at least reinforcing to God-honoring-relationships—values conference.  

Ten days out, we had 250 registrations and were discouraged.  Adding to our disappointment were the "excuses" for not coming, ranging from "we're too busy" to "we're having a fund-raiser for our summer missions trip" to "I don't want to make my kids go and they don't want to."

Really?  With the chaos surrounding relationships and the confusion regarding why choosing sexual and emotional purity escalating, it seems that very few things should outrank the importance of spending 1/365th of the year focused on such life-changing tipping points from God's perspective.

Fortunately, we marshaled the prayer forces and by the day of "Worth It" were thrilled to have 410 attendees.  Though still short of our hoped-for number, we were really grateful for this great group of teens and parents who placed such a high priority on this important day.

Increasingly convinced that the relationship choices we make pre-maritally have a very big impact on eventual marriage choices, we are more and more passionate about speaking into this generation of teens who have been lied to their whole lives by a virtually godless culture.  The messages come at us — fast, furiously, and authoritatively — that the only thing that matters is your personal happiness, however fleeting that may be, and whatever it takes to gain it.  The average college-aged woman in our culture (and it goes without saying that men also live this belief) no longer believe that sex and love are connected, and sadly, the Christian community statistically isn't distinctly different in terms of unmarried sexual behavior.  Most have resigned themselves to the "if you can't fight 'em, join 'em" mentally and have given up hope that sexual and emotional purity can be lived out.

That's why we do "Worth It."

Because God's Word hasn't changed. His heart for His children hasn't changed. His design hasn't changed.

So we try to build a very convincing case for purity in 2014.  We want to give hope.  We want to be prophetic. We want to challenge youth to trust the goodness of God's design and the power we have in Him to live it out.

Before the day began, the team gathered to pray for all that would happen in the day.

Barbara Steele and Kit Hendricks welcomed the over 400 attendees of the day at the registration table.

Tim Carpenter, family pastor at Bethany Church in Greenland, welcomes everyone to the "Worth It" conference.

That's the message that was proclaimed throughout the day on April 5.  Jess Bousa kicked off the day with a stirring and lively message on the good news of the gospel and the Word of God, saying that it is "not a prison sentence, but a permission slip."  Jess speaks with such credibility as one who was far from God during his high school years when he became very familiar with cops and jails through multiple arrests connected with drug abuse and dealing.  God got a hold of him in a big way while serving time at a court-ordered stay with Teen Challenge, and 14 years later, Jess is married, has two children, has his MDiv and then some, and has planted Restore Church in Havre de Grace, MD, which two years into existence has 650 attendees and 3 campuses.  Great start to the day!

Jess Bousa preaches it at Worth It!

Kirsten Watson followed with a passionate talk on "You are Worth It."  Starting with a very effective illustration, she offered a crisp $20 bill to anyone who wanted it.  After she had folded it, crushed it, stomped on it, and thrown it to the ground, there were still the same number of hands raised of those who wanted it.  Why?  Because it was still worth $20 — even though it had been “through a lot."  Her message was shaped by the intrinsic value of each human being, not based on what they had been through — or what they had been spared — but by the love of God Himself, who calls us by name and whose image we bear.  It was very powerful . . . and convincing.

Kirsten Watson speaks to the individual worth and value of each person.

Two workshop sessions and lunch followed the opening plenary talks, and the line-up of topics and speakers was top shelf.  Adam Rowe, youth pastor for Grace Chapel in Wilmington, MA, spoke on media and how to make God-honoring choices in this very dynamic, high-risk arena.  Christopher and Dorothy Greco (Chris is the Theater Arts Director at Lexington Christian Academy and worship leader at Grace Baptist Church, Hudson, MA) spoke on LGBTQ issues facing the community of Christ.  Their story was compelling and their teaching on how to love and give hope to those struggling with sexual identity was sensitively handled with compassion and truth.  Kirsten Watson did a workshop on making the "second most important decision of your life: marriage!", and Kate Wylie spoke on the perils of popularity.  Danny Woodhead and his mom, Annette, spoke together on how to parent in the midst of so many cultural pressures, especially those that accompany athletic prowess.  Nate Parks spoke to parents on how to be in touch with their kids who are facing incredible pressures vastly different from those faced by parents when they were youth.  And Lisa Friesen spoke on how to prepare for college in terms of values and beliefs you need to have in place before you step foot on a campus—so you can have a "blast" in college.

Danny and Annette Woodhead were a real hit as a son/mother team speaking on parenting principles.

All of the workshops were relevant, practical, and well-received.  We were SO thankful for such a quality team.

Two more plenary sessions in the afternoon rounded out the day.  Kate Wylie spoke on why purity is worth it.  With raw honesty and vulnerability, Kate shared how she had "bought the lie" that "technical virginity" was all God was really interested in and that with all her Christian boyfriends, the only line not crossed was sexual intercourse.  She explained how betrayed she felt when each relationship ended as she struggled with feeling used and then abandoned.  She also shared how that trajectory changed when she was finally taught the heart of God's design for purity.  She and her fiancé embraced boundaries consistent with Biblical purity and it profoundly and positively impacted their relationship.  She offered hope: to those "lacking experience,” to keep on holding the lines, and to those who had already crossed lines, the hope of forgiveness and the challenge to make adjustments.  

Kate Wylie teaches on the subject of "purity is worth it" and her vulnerability was deeply moving.

Nate Parks, director of Berea, was our final plenary speaker and he offered the hope of forgiveness and the challenge that "what you plant will grow."  Rather than viewing purity as a set of rules to follow, Nate was convincing that you must choose to plant seeds of love for God, His Word, and His ways, so your heart will produce a harvest of righteousness.  Because what you plant will grow.  He was engaging and energetic and his simple message was the perfect ending for the day.

Nate Parks, the farmer, explains that "what you plant will grow."

Tucked in here and there was lunch, directed by Jim Martis and an amazing volunteer crew orchestrated by our event coordinator, Susan Martis, who helped with everything from packet preparation to lunch preparation and clean-up, as well as book sales, and all the myriad of details needed to facilitate such a day.  A panel of all the speakers fielding a few questions and recommending a few books, and many, many side-bar conversations filled in some “non-structured” time.  During the panel, the crowd was inspired by the testimony of Danny and Stacia Woodhead (former Patriot, now Charger and one of the best running backs in the NFL) who remained pure throughout their eight-year courtship.  Quite a story of hope!!  Another highlight was hearing from Lisa Friesen, the lone single voice of the day, who exudes contentment and purpose in life as she waits for the Lord to bring the "right" man into her life. She knocked it out of the park when she shared that her decisions for purity had already delivered some great dividends.  "When I eventually met my college boyfriend’s wife, I was so thankful I could look her in the eyes and know that I had honored her and her husband had honored her long before she was on the scene, by how we had honored each other."  Very, very powerful.

All of the speakers participated in a panel Q and A in the late afternoon.

Lisa Friesen enjoys a moment with Danny and Stacia Woodhead.

As the day ended, our previous discouragement which had dissipated days earlier had been replaced with overflowing gratitude.The team gathered to thank the Lord for the incredible ways He met us during the day, and we could only give Him all the praise. 

He is worth it!!

Here are a few excerpts from the evaluations handed in at day's end:

Despite the resistance from the girls leading up to the conference (“This is my 5^th, time – I GET it, Mom!”, “Saturday is my only day to sleep!”, “I have voice lessons, can’t go.”, “I have my last driving lesson, if I miss it – I won’t get my driving license for MONTHS!”), making the effort was definitely worth it!  It was a wonderful day. Thank you and your dedicated team for all they do to pour into our lives the saving grace and love of God and Jesus.  (Mom of three teenage daughters) 

Down to earth, funny. (13-year-old son) 

The stories, content, and presentation styles of each workshop were beneficial. (Mom of teenage son and daughter) 

Being involved in something so deep with my daughter is opening up new doors for both of us. (Parent) 

I was basically dragged here by my dad, and I came with low expectations.  It blew me away how honest and real you guys were.  I feel like I can directly relate what I learned to my life and am inspired to live a life of purity.  (13-year-old gal) 

We have been back 3 times because my kids wanted to come back. Thank you! (Parent) 

This kind of conference that helps our families confront and talk about sexual issues is so needed. Thank you for your presentations. (Parent of 13- and 16-year-old teens) 

We were so thankful to attend with our 3 daughters and have them hear that they are Worth It. (Husband and wife) 

Great selection of books, and staff were very helpful in helping in selection of books.
It was way better than I expected and I will recommend this to my friends. (13-year-old gal) 

Bethany was a great facility and staff were very helpful and friendly.

Being there with all four of my very athletic boys and hear them hear from other athletes was huge. (Parent of 4 teenage boys) 

My biggest take-away is knowing that God needs to be the center of my life and relationships.  (18-year-old guy) 

Really liked the way lunch was so organized. 

It was so beneficial to be able to have an open conversation with my teen about God’s plan for sex and have him be receptive. (Dad of teenage son) 

Thank you so much, this was so helpful before I go off to college and begin a relationship. (Teen)

All praise is His.  

At day's end, we paused to thank the Lord for the amazing way He had met us.

Here, There, and Everywhere (Part 3) Final!

For the only period of time in 2014, we're actually home for four weeks.  At first blush, I imagined how much I'd get done and how many people I'd get to reconnect with over a cup of coffee or a walk.  Now at the end of said period, I'm amazed that I didn't get much done (in some respects) and that few of the "I would love to spend some time with you" friends were seen.  A close scrutiny of our schedule reveals that we (Home Improvement Ministries) hosted three events during this time, two of which were major conferences.  Plus, we spoke for three different Mom to Mom groups, we spoke at two date nights on the north shore, we flew to St. Louis for a rite-of-passage celebration, we counseled five days, we did a one-day marriage conference for a local church, and then an evening seminar for another.  In between, we prepared for all those speaking engagements, attempted to catch up on the growing piles of mail and other necessary-for-life things, and watched a few episodes of "I Love Lucy" for comic relief.  Guess that explains it!

Now we'll fill in the blanks.

We wrapped up a three-month, once-a-month "date night" hosted jointly by the North Shore Community Baptist Church and The Harbor Church up on the north shore.  Each week, Londie Grothjan beautifully decorated the social hall to set the stage for us to speak on a different aspect of marriage.  They thought of everything, from available child care to yummy desserts, and the enthusiastic response to this event confirmed the need for it.  We loved having the opportunity to partner with these churches which are aware that building in to healthy marriages is critical to everything else that happens within their congregations.

The welcoming tables "hugged" everyone who walked into the fellowship hall at North Shore Community Baptist Church.

Worship through music was a part of each of the date nights.

Paul spoke to a men's group for "Men's Night Out" in Halifax, MA, on Friday, March 14, and was deeply encouraged by the responsiveness of the large group of men who showed up.  Sorry, no photos. Paul doesn't "do" that.  :)

March 15th and 16th was Engagement Matters.  How we love to speak in to the lives of those considering marriage! Lots of great conversations were had throughout this two-day conference and the attendees really seemed to appreciate the various ways in which they were both encouraged and challenged. Ryan and Kelly Plosker came up on Sunday to teach a session and, as always, they were wildly popular.  

Every couple is offered a follow-up private counseling session with us to dive deeper in areas pertinent to them, and one such couple sent this note following their private session:

"Thanks so much for meeting with my potential fiancé  and me last night. It was wonderful to have more time with you and ask you questions that we still needed advice on. You both have been such a blessing to us, even in the little time we've spent together. Thank you for your ministry and hearts for the Lord; God is doing amazing work through you!"

We thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with these engaged or pre-engaged couples at Engagement Matters.

Carl & Cathy Blatchley and Helen Challener served throughout the weekend, preparing food, cleaning, and taking care of all but teaching.  So thankful for them!!

When long time friends and ministry partners, Rich and Sue Musacchio invited us to spend an evening speaking to their church, Revive, on the subject of sexuality, we enthusiastically said yes and then were challenged to find a date that would work.  That proved to be much harder, but we finally settled on Tuesday night, March 18.  It was a great night, but even greater to us was hearing the heart and seeing the vision of their relatively young church plant.  They have a huge heart for those recovering from many forms of brokenness and the love and grace of the place was palpable.  We were so glad we found a date that worked!

Rich and Sue Musacchio lead worship at Revive Church.

We drove to New Hampshire the next morning to speak to the Mom to Mom group at Bethany Church in Greenland, and the next day we spoke at Grace Chapel's Mom to Mom group in Lexington, MA.  The previous week we had spoken at Faith Evangelical Church's Mom to Mom group in Acton, MA.  We love the ministry of Mom to Mom, which can be a lifeline to so many young moms who thrive in the context of Biblical truth as it applies to parenting and wise mentors who "have been there and done that."  It was an honor to speak in all three churches.  

Moms taking it all in  at Bethany Church.

Next up was the Home Improvement Ministries annual marriage retreat, March 21-23, held once again at the beautiful, historic Viking Hotel in Newport, RI.  

Kelly Plosker once again designed and decorated the ballroom and welcome table, ensuring that people felt warmly received when they arrived.

Barbara Steele welcomes a couple at registration.

Beautiful decorations.  Sweet goodie bags.  Welcoming registration table.  Great music lead by Rayna and Danny Oertli and supported by Rich and Sue Musacchio and Erik Kerr.  Important break-out sessions.  A packed house.  Multi-generational, with about 20% of the couples married less than 6 years, and about as many married over 30 years. Beautiful weather.  Delicious food.  An over-the-top wait-staff.

Danny and Rayna Oertli lead the worship band, which included Erik Kerr and Rich and Sue Musacchio.  They were terrific!

The ballroom at the Viking was full, as the conference sold out several weeks ahead and some later registrants ended up staying in other hotels and coming to the Viking for the program and meals.

At the insistence of the H.I.M. Board, we were the featured speakers.  We argued, but to no avail.  So we prayed and prepared and felt that God met us in a unique way.

The theme of "Dreams and Memories" was inspired by the Old Testament account of Moses reminding the grumbling, questioning children of Israel to remember God's faithfulness to them in the past, and to look to Him for their hope in the future.  As we counsel so many couples, the parallels are astonishingly similar.  Many couples struggling in their marriage have forgotten their early days when they were most likely very happy with one another, and they are so mired in the trouble of the present, they've lost sight of the hope of the future.  It's a strategy from the enemy that works amazingly well.

And so we went to our attic and retrieved "relics" of our courtship and early years of marriage in the form of poems, cards, letters, etc., which revealed the depth of our sappiness towards one another.  :)  We had evidence of the very thing we teach pre-marrieds to be cautious of....the over production of oxytocin physiologically has the effect of amplifying the good and minimizing the things you don't want to see.  It was there in black and white (and sometimes, color) in our hands: "You seldom annoy me"  and "I'm completely content in this relationship" and "Nothing will ever make me feel any different."  

Since Hallmark cards fell short of accurately expressing our growing love for one another, most of these were handmade cards or typewritten letters.

I'm so glad we still have them.  Seeing them again took me right back to the days we were making these unrealistic but oh-so-sincere observations to one another.

It had the effect on us that we were hoping it would have on those in attendance.  Reconnecting us with feelings and memories, now somewhat mitigated by the years of life together, it re-sparked the "this is too good to be true" aura of our young love for one another. The opening session was all about the past—hopes, dreams, expectations—and the evening ended with a slide show of wedding photos from each of the couples as Barbra Streisand crooned "The Way We Were" in the background.  It was a very special evening.

April 24, 1976 . . . so, so magical.

The remaining plenary session talks dealt honestly with the things which had derailed some of those hopes and dreams and offered the redemptive hope of the gospel, so that our future would be shaped by His heart for our marriage.  

One couple, married under three years, wrote:  "This was truly a life changing experience for us.  I had been praying for our marriage to be strengthened and this retreat was exactly what we needed.  Thank you so much for helping us grow stronger together as a couple through Christ."

Another wrote, "Thank you for a wonderful weekend.  We left with many wonderful strategies to help us live together with a stronger, more cooperative marriage.  We also had time to reflect on the importance of our faith as it relates to our marriage."

A wife, married just under 30 years, wrote:  "After praying for six years that my husband would come to this conference, he did....and he became a Christian this weekend.  Glorify the Lord!!!"

The first night we shared the "265 Hope St" house address sign which hangs in our counseling office.  It was given to us by a couple who, 15 years ago, felt there was no hope for their struggling marriage, which was being assaulted by the toxic fallout of infidelity, possible bankruptcy, parallel lives, and infertility.  They had been to three counselors, all of whom encouraged them to cut their losses and move on.

Thankfully, they didn't take that advice. Instead of "moving on", they moved towards Jesus and did a lot of hard work over the next two years to bring restoration to their marriage.  Today they lead marriage ministries in their church and are raising a child with a heart for the Lord.

Several years ago they presented us with this street sign, which had belonged to the house they were living in when all this went down. They didn't want to throw it away or keep it for themselves, but decided to give it to us to put in our office as a reminder to every couple who comes for counseling.  Our hope is in the Lord.

All weekend, the sign was prominently displayed on the stage and more than a few at the conference commented on how powerful it was.  One suggested we change the "265" to "365" since every day is marked by hope when we're living for Him.

Notice the "265 Hope St" sign above our heads.  It was a powerful symbol for many.

Danny and Rayna Oertli once again did a wonderful job of leading us in musical worship.

Part of the H.I.M. team who made the weekend happen.  We are SO grateful for this group.  They are tireless in their efforts to serve the body of Christ through the ministry of H.I.M.

As we drove out of Newport at conference end, this was the canvas God painted for us.  Spectacular.

As we drove home post-conference, we were filled with such gratitude for God's goodness and faithfulness.  Only He could've produced the results we experienced throughout the weekend. All praise is His!

We were in town until March 28, Friday, when we flew to St. Louis to celebrate the "13th Birthday Rite of Passage" for Sarah Elizabeth Williams.  Sarah Elizabeth is the youngest daughter of Grant and Emily Williams, ret. NFL, ex-Pat.  We love this family!  We've been "surrogate" family for them since the early 2000's as neither had Christian heritages.  They're doing a great job raising their three daughters for Christ.  It's so inspirational to know that Grant and Emily are beginning a godly legacy to give to the next generation. 

It was a true joy to see their home full of others (who love them and whose lives are being changed because of theirs) Saturday night for the celebration.  Many words of courage and affirmation were spoken to Sarah Elizabeth.  It was a good reminder of how important it is to have great companions with you on this journey to the heart of God.

Grant and Emily and their three daughters are with Grant's sister Tonya and her husband Joe and their three boys.

Sarah Elizabeth's 13th birthday poster is one of many meaningful gifts she received.

We flew in from St Louis on Sunday at noon-ish and drove directly to Watertown to do a conference for Cornerstone Church.  The small group of about 18 or so couples met in a home and we spoke on marriage.  All but two of the couples have been married for less than a year—or were engaged!  What a great opportunity to help shape the foundations of their marriages.

The Cornerstone Christian Church members who attended the marriage seminar.

This concludes the trilogy of "Here, there  and everywhere."  Though our schedule has been a bit crazy, it has been so gratifying to see how God meets us in all of these different venues.  As it is, we're so grateful.

And it's been nice to not be "here, there, and everywhere . . ." for at least a few days!!

Here, There, and Everywhere (Part 2)

I wasn't joking when I said we were home briefly after our Feb. 12–24 California speaking tour.  Two days of counseling, and we were off!  Or, I was off, to Paradise, Pennsylvania, where I spoke for an Amish-hosted scrapbooking weekend.

Yes.  As oxymoronic as that sounds, that's what I did.

And it was a dream come true for me.  Ever since 1969, when my family moved to Northern Virginia and we discovered the delights of the Amish people, who lived a short 2.5 hours north of our rented home in Alexandria, Virginia.  We made many day trips to that back-in-time enclave of devotees committed to simplicity and to an undistracted-by-worldliness lifestyle . . . and a place in my heart was formed for these people.  Drawn in by their seemingly uncomplicated lives and their pursuit of focusing on the basic-needs-to-live philosophy, I secretly longed to spend a week or two with them.  Notice I wasn't deluded enough to believe I could make a total switch, but truth be told, I'm more comfortable with their simplicity than I am with American culture's obsession with "stuff."  (On the other hand, if you've noticed the many pictures I've posted over the years, maybe it's not so hard to imagine me there, as repeat performances by my "uniform" outfits appear over and over and over.)

My friend Liz Lane, whose pastor husband Steve serves as senior pastor of Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church, gave Rachel King, owner of From the Heart Scrapbooking Shop, a copy of my book Raising a Trailblazer:  Rite of Passage Trail Markers for your Set-Apart Teen and Rachel loved it. That's what led to me having coffee with her and her five children at their home in Paradise, which led to dreaming about a scrapbooking conference, and the rest, as they say, is history.

What a sweet, sweet time.  Rachel hosted Liz and me in their home—without electricity, technology, or a car.  Yes.  No car.  No TV.  No computers.  Besides those "differences," which were honestly almost unnoticed as battery-operated lamps lit the way, the home was full of the delights of a large family growing up together.  Five adorable children who are obviously well-loved and well-trained by their parents.  And parents who truly love each other and who love Jesus.  Junior (Rachel's husband) cooked omelets for us to round out Rachel's yummy breakfast muffins and after eating, the children drifted off to play games or read.  It was refreshing to see no iPod earplugs or iPads in hand.  I would've gladly just stayed in the home for the day, but the conference beckoned, so off to the barn we went.

Her scrapbooking shop is built above their barn, which houses their horses and buggies.  Fourteen ladies filled the work space with various creative projects and I spoke 3 times between Friday night and Saturday afternoon.  Rachel and two of her five sisters served lovely meals and kept things going.  

It was one of the most fulfilling and inspiring things I've done.  Rachel is a beautiful woman, immensely gifted artistically and relationally.  Her shop is only open a few months of the year because she's a wife and a mother first and doesn't want to miss out on raising her children or loving her husband.  She's practical, down-to-earth, genuine, wise, hospitable, and winsome.  She knows the difference between "religiosity" and "personal relationship with Christ" and she lives authentically and devotedly for Him.

My first real experience in an Amish home far exceeded my lofty expectations.

And joy!  She wants to do it again.  Bring it on!! 

The Amish farm just across the street from Rachel's home . . . freeze drying the clothes.  Love it!

Liz Lane, Rachel Esh, and Rachel King, celebrating the success of the scrapbooking conference.

The ladies who attended: an eclectic but very congenial group which quickly bonded during the weekend.  All had in common their love for Rachel King and her beautiful shop.

The aura of 24 hours of living Amish quickly dissipated, sadly, as I rented a car and drove from Harrisburg, PA, to Baltimore, MD, to catch a flight to California.  The 1hr 40mins trip would get me to the airport hotel easily before 8 pm, and I'd get a good night of rest before catching an early morning flight.  "Easily" turned out not to be part of this journey, I soon found out, when for reasons then unknown to me, traffic backed up for miles about 30 minutes shy of my destination.  1hr 30mins delayed, I eventually found out that 83 South had been closed due to the potential collapse of part of the highway, and the subsequent delay and detour, though warranted, sabotaged my "isn't life peaceful and perfect" reverie less than 2 hours after leaving "Paradise."  Finally to the hotel by 9, I decided to return the rental car so as to not have to worry about it at 4 in the morning, and the first gas station I stopped at to refill had non-functioning pumps due to a shift change and computer downloading process.  But I waited for 10 minutes with an impotent hose in my gas tank before giving up on the "it'll only be a minute" explanation I'd been given twice by the attendant.  Off to another station, which boasted having a Subway sandwich shop inside, and with a momentary sense of happiness, I decided the Lord kept the pumps closed at the other station so I could grab a bite to eat at the second station.  Notice the word "momentary."  After filling up, I went in to get a Subway . . . only to find it closed.  Missed it by 10 minutes: the 10 minutes I was waiting at the first station.  Oh well.  Off to return the rental car, I carefully entered the address of the car return in iMaps and off I went, determined to trust the GPS, which caused me to ignore the signs to the rental car return area.  Following it, I was suddenly in the middle of an abandoned air strip with nothing but eerie flashing warning messages to watch for possible emergency vehicles in the area.  Thoroughly freaked out at 11 pm, in the dark, alone, I turned off iMaps and retraced my steps back to the rental car return signs and successfully returned the car.  And then I waited for a courtesy bus to return me to the hotel, which a few short hours later would take me back to the airport.

But it doesn't end there.  Once back in the hotel, I decided to confirm the time of my early morning flight, only to discover that for reasons known only to the cyber-gods, I could find no trace of my reservation confirmation on my computer.  No worries.  Call Paul, the one who makes all such reservations.  Wait—he's in the air himself, flying to California to do the funeral that I'm flying out for. By now, I am beside myself. Exhausted, hungry, and frustrated, with the memories of the most idyllic, peaceful scrapbooking conference completely obliterated. Tears. Bad thoughts. Oh!  How thin the line is at times!

Two hours later, Paul landed in LA and wished he hadn't turned his phone on immediately to read a cryptic text from his very distraught wife, languishing in self-pity in a 2-star hotel in Baltimore.  Within minutes, he had located my flight information and I fell into a beyond-exhausted heap for a short, short night of sleep.  

But it still doesn't end there.  Off to the airport, I flew from Baltimore to Phoenix without a hitch.  That was nice.  And productive.  I was then to fly to Orange County, arriving at 11:40 am for a 2 pm funeral.  Easy breezy.  But not really.  After turning down the offer to take a $300 "bump" and be placed on a flight to Ontario (which would land 30 minutes after the Phoenix flight would and then be bused to Orange County) because I didn't want to risk missing the funeral, the announcement came through that the Phoenix flight was delayed due to a lavatory malfunction.  No worries, they said.  A 30 minute delay could be expected.  If you fly much, you know that's code for "we'll say 30 minutes to start with, so you all don't mutiny, and then we'll keep adding the minutes according to our need."  We were finally boarded 1hr 30mins later, and just after pushing off from the gate, the captain announced, "Good news, bad news.  Good news: we're pushed back.  Bad news: Air Force One has landed and we're grounded for another 30 minutes until air space is cleared for security."

Seriously???  My seat mate is probably still wondering what tragic news I was discussing on the phone with Paul at that moment as I was really, really close to . . . well, I'm not sure what, but I was close to it.

Thankfully the story ends well.  The flight did take off and it did safely land at 1:20 pm, and my dear friend Wendy Turney did pick me up after a last-minute frantic call from Paul arranged the connection, and after getting my luggage, changing my clothes, and driving to the funeral home, I arrived at 1:55 pm.  Just in time.  Whew!!

And that's how life rolls at times.  Two 24-hr periods of time, back to back, different as night and day. The second 24-hour period rebukes my "everything SHOULD go right and according to my time table and expectations because I have important things to do" mindset and reminds me that "she who lives without margins can easily be derailed."

The funeral honored the life of our very dear friend Wendy's Auntie Lynne and Paul did a beautiful job of leading the service.  The joy of being there was connecting with Wendy's extended family, all dear friends of ours.  It was a great celebration and I was exceedingly thankful that I was there.  

Standing with sisters Pam and Wendy and their wonderful Mom "Gami Jo" Baker the morning after the funeral.

Up next, with the residual dust of Amish simplicity still resonating, we checked in to a 5-star "boutique resort" in San Diego for the annual Pro-Athletes Outreach (NFL) conference.  It was clear I wasn't in "Paradise" Pennsylvania any longer.  Our room was half the size of our home and dripping with elegance.  Rose petals.  Chocolates.  A Nespresso machine.  A small swimming pool called a "tub." Oh, and electricity and TV's. Talk about a swing to the other side.  Crazy.

We love this conference every year and feel privileged to be workshop presenters for 13 years in a row. With worship lead by the Katinas, and with Francis Chan and Jon and Jeni Kitna (and others) presenting in the plenary sessions, the conference was "off the charts" for the almost 400 in attendance. Reconnecting with many "ex-Pats" and others we've met through the years was so encouraging.  God is using the unique privilege of these families to make a difference as they live out their Christian convictions.

There were two highlights of the conference for us.  We brought my mom, a rabid NFL fan (with a very specific love for the San Diego Chargers, the New Orleans Saints, and the Washington Redskins), to spend an evening with us (okay, with "them"—though she loves us, she would never have been so revved up for just an evening with us!)  and it was a magical evening.  The "guys" and their wives were so kind to her!  She was glowing.  And taking it all in.  A very memorable evening was had by all.

Benjamin and Kirsten Watson ate dinner with us.  Can you see the glow on my mom's face?

The second highlight was having two of our Patriots players come to Christ at the conference.  As we witnessed their baptisms, we were overwhelmed with gratitude for the work of the Holy Spirit.  Great rejoicing!!!

Thomas  (an ex-Pat) and Margaret Austin (and Baby Austin, due in early April) loved being introduced to Torrey Pines State Beach.

Don (also an ex-Pat) and Yannette Davis run the football conference and are such precious friends, in addition to being professional colleagues.  God is using them in big ways.

PAO ended and we spent a couple of days with my mom before flying home.  Because our 3rd conference in just over a week was an all-day marriage seminar for . . . the officers of the Salvation Army.  Quite a spectrum-of-life experience in 9 short days!!

These moments remind us that we are completely dependent on the Holy Spirit to speak through us. Left to our own devices, we'd come up short being clever or wise enough to speak to the hearts of those ranging from the Amish to NFL players to Salvation Army officers.  Really short.

But our day (March 10) in Sharon, MA, with about 80 officers was nothing short of wonderful and we once again felt very met by the Lord.  Great conversations between sessions, great interaction during sessions, and all agreed it was a day well spent when all was said and done.  Thank you, Lord.

Major David Kelly, Divisional Commander of the Massachusetts Division of the Salvation Army, and his wife, Naomi, hosted the marriage conference for their team and were wonderful to work with.

Meanwhile, on the family front, Julie and Derek have been busy on the frontlines of hospital work in Mbale, while Nathan closes in on 8 months and keeps them on their toes.  He is smiley, active, and "eat-him-up" cute, which makes up for his sometimes erratic sleep patterns.  Julie spent a lot of time during the month of February doing physical therapy for a young missionary couple who sustained significant injuries in a tragic car accident which took the life of their five-week-old baby girl.  The family has returned to the States now for further treatment, and Julie's work with the mother was pivotal in her recovery.  Pray for this dear family who have a long road ahead of them, both physically and emotionally.  

Nathan, lighting up the continent of Africa with his engaging smile and outgoing personality.

Lisa's first season as the head athletic trainer for women's basketball at UCLA has ended, sooner than anyone wanted, but with the team down to just six players, it was no surprise that they didn't make it beyond the first round of the Pac12 tournament.  She's been "recovering" from the intensity of the past 7 months in a variety of ways, including stealing away to Campus by the Sea for a few days and catching a few hikes with the Garcias.  

Speaking of the Garcias, their life is also full of activity between their work with Grace Baptist Church and a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old.  They are thrilled to be where they are, doing what they're doing, and especially loving growing their family.  

Auntie LeeLee makes hiking all the more fun for Brandon.

Though Ana appears to be not too sure about hiking, everyone else had a blast.

Thankfully, though we've been here, there, and everywhere, God has been reminding us faithfully that He is, too.  Through rain, snow, sunrises, and sunsets, when things go right and when they don't, He is with us in this amazing life journey.  We are truly, truly grateful.

Part 3 is coming . . . stay tuned!!

Sunset from Coronado Beach, California.  We never grow tired of this beauty.

Here, There, and Everywhere (Part 1)

We've spoken in sixteen different venues, made two trips to California and one to Pennsylvania, run two H.I.M.-sponsored conferences, spoken at seven different events in the greater Boston area, counseled seven days, had four different sets of houseguests, and have only been home 19 of the past 49 days.  No wonder I've found "time" for reflective writing  elusive. No surprise that I've changed the date on the subject line of this blog three times. The time has now come.  Captive on a flight to St. Louis, I will resist the temptation to read until I write.

Though it seems like forever ago, we flew to California just before Valentine's Day to hang out with the "fam" for a couple of days prior to speaking.  We joined my mom and three of my sisters for a Persian meal in Irvine to launch our 11-day tour of California and had such a sweet time.  It was the first time we had been with my mom since my dad's funeral and it made his death seem a bit more real. Brandon and Ana did their part to mitigate our grief. They both love their Great-Grandma Essie.

Three of my sisters, Francene, Sue, and Melissa, drove my mom up to meet us in Irvine for lunch.

Great-Grandma Essie loves and is loved by all little people.

For the 4th year in a row, we were privileged to speak at The Rock Church's Valentine's Couples Night Out.  Brent and Melissa Slezak put their heart and soul into this event and we love partnering with them.

Getting there to celebrate this "heart" day, however, threatened to give us heart attacks.  Leaving in "plenty of time" from Gabe and Kari's home in Santa Clarita, we began the 48-mile journey 3 hours ahead of start time, but arrived with only 5 minutes to spare.  Unconvinced that we would have even 5 minutes as we crept along the slowly moving, very congested Los Angeles freeway (are there any other kind???), I actually changed my clothes in the car.  Discreetly, of course.  Makes for a very relaxing start to a speaking engagement.  Fortunately, we were feted to a delicious dinner in a beautifully set fellowship hall prior to speaking, so our heart rates had returned to normal levels before we were handed the mics.  And . . . "all's well that ends well" is apropos.  The evening went very well.  

A big shout out to Brent and Melissa, however, who remained calm as we updated them on our non-progress, even when we at some point, rather despairingly suggested that they might need to speak in our stead.  "Keep driving," they responded, unflustered.  We did jettison the video clips we had planned to use since a sound check was impossible, but that was a small price to pay for severely underestimating that 48 miles would take 3 hours to drive. Make that 2 hours and 55 minutes. This reinforces our belief that if we ever return to live in So Cal, it will be because God makes it unmistakably clear.

Brent and Melissa Slezak hosted The Rock Church's Valentine's couples event. Love their hearts for family and marriage!!

Our return to Santa Clarita that night was painless.  Thank you Lord.  And being wakened early Saturday a.m. by a loud "GRRRRRR" from the little monster-in-training (Brandon) caused us to forget the frustration of the drive just hours earlier.

Later that day, we flew to San Francisco to speak at Peninsula Covenant Church on....marriage!!!  We love PCC and we love Gary and Anne Gaddini, so it's always with joyful anticipation that we come to Redwood City.  Everything—the people, the principles, the plans—of this church body are dynamic, relevant, and proactive.  They are not just hearers of the Word, but also doers.  We love their love for God's Word and their commitment to living it authentically.  This is top-down leadership in action.

We taught at all three services on Sunday. . . from coat and tie, to shirt and khakis, to jeans and long-sleeve.  Paul thought it was good that they stop at three services.  Bathing suit for the 4th???  :)

We also taught at their "Big Wednesday" night gathering on intimacy.  A larger-than-normal group apparently formed, most likely a response to said topic, and we had a great night together.  After presenting, Brian Rehn (the family and marriage pastor at PCC and all around great guy) fielded texted-in questions, which ended the evening on a "scratch where I'm itching" note.  We loved it!!

In between Sunday night and Wednesday night we met up with various friends, poked around several exciting thrift stores, and caught up a bit with ourselves.  After Wednesday night, and before our next speaking gig began Friday night, we spent two glorious days on the beach just north of Monterey as guests of some dear friends.  With the sound of waves crashing just yards from the condo, we lost ourselves in the beauty of the ocean, the joy of walking the coastline with sand scrunching beneath our feet, the discovery of sand dollars so plentiful it seemed like we'd hit a "jackpot", the mesmerizing effect of watching the sets of waves pummel the shoreline with wind-driven mist dancing off the cresting surf, and the daily ritual of observing the symphony in the sky as the setting sun painted a color display that would rival the most extensive show of fireworks.

It was the therapy we needed and we basked in the wonderfulness of each moment we were there. And did we mention that we drove through  (actually by) fields teeming with giant, ripe artichokes - the vegetable of the gods????  Heaven on earth.

We had a sweet time of fellowship and food with the Gaddini gang at their home twice while in Redwood City.

As the crowd gathered for our Wednesday night talk on intimacy, I grabbed a hug with long time friend Neyney Jackson.

With our hosts at the beach condo, we delayed all evening plans until the sun had retired from displaying its glory, which reflects His glory.

We spent the weekend of Feb. 21-23 at Mt. Hermon Christian Conference Center, speaking at their couples' conference.  Our love for Mt. Hermon goes way back...38 years to be exact, as we spent several days of our honeymoon in the backyard of this conference center.  We've been back many times through the years for a variety of conferences and have always appreciated Mt. Hermon's commitment to Biblical integrity and to growing God-honoring families.  When Dave Burns invited us to speak at this conference, we enthusiastically accepted.

And we were not disappointed.  We had a warm, receptive crowd.  A few "old"—actually, "long-term"—friends, and many new friends.  A well-run program.  Working with Dave Burns. Great food. Beautiful setting.  Ziplining through the great Redwoods.  

Nothing to improve upon.

The best?  Hearing from numerous couples that God had met them in a significant way during the weekend.

All praise is His.

Dave Burns, director of family and marriage programs at Mt. Hermon made us feel very at home.

The weekend was sold out and the crowd was very engaged, interactive and appreciative.

We were thrilled to do the zipline tour at Mt Hermon.

We flew back to Boston on Monday, Feb. 24, after spending the night with our dear friends Johnny and Lori Potter at their home in Monterey. This almost-two-week trip was rich in so many ways and we returned home thankfully pooped!!  We hit the road again just 2 days after returning, but that's a story for part 2.  Blessings!!!

We're Not in Uganda Anymore

We left the land of no winter (Uganda) on Jan. 16 and re-entered the land of perpetual winter (New England).  What a difference one day makes!  It was clear immediately: we're not in Uganda anymore.

I love both lands.

Within 20 hours of landing at Logan Airport on Jan 17, we were driving in a snowstorm to our annual H.I.M.-sponsored Midwinter Family Getaway, held for the first time at The Anchorage Inn in York, Maine. 150 people gathered to swim in the snow—or more correctly, swim indoors while the snow fell outside.  Well, all but about 15 enthusiastic teenagers, who decided that a polar bear dip in the frigid Atlantic would be a very "cool" thing to do. They made a memory, for sure!

It was a high-energy, dynamic weekend which held a little bit of everything: worship, teaching, fellowship, community meals, and, of course, swimming.  Brian Dietz and Will and Becky Barnett (from Highrock Church of Arlington, MA) took on the programming for the weekend and did a great job.  It was the only way we could agree to hosting the event, since we were flying in from Uganda less than a day before the conference began.  Jim and Sue Martis took on feeding everyone and did a remarkable job, especially given their "outdoor" camping cookstove set-up.  

Paul and I taught two sessions to the adults, one on parenting and one on marriage.  The families present ranged from those with very young children to those with high school/college kids, so it was very multigenerational in a very healthy way.

We were perhaps most encouraged to see such a great group of teens at the conference. They were positive, engaged, helpful, polite, and very alive. They helped with the younger kids during our teaching sessions, participated in worship and every other part of the program, and were "all in."  Most of them have attended family camp together for years and it was obvious that the friendships between them are real and meaningful.  Very hope giving. 

The low point of the weekend was the Patriots’ loss to the Broncos in the AFC play-off game, though given how depleted our ranks were with season-ending injuries, I'm not sure how confident we were that we'd be able to take down the Broncos in their home.  We had a great season, really, and we've moved on to next year's prospects.

Brian Dietz lead worship and had a lot of help for "Days of Elijah" as well as for the "Butterfly Song."

A segment of the very fun, interactive game "Fishbowl"  was part of each large group session. Men against women.  Always exciting.

Jim braved the elements to feed everyone.  Dedication!!

The Westermark family successfully completed the family activity, which will allow the impact of the weekend to continue in their home.

The unusual shape of this pool provided for many creative games and fun really was had by all.

We ventured to the Nubble Lighthouse in the frigid cold and were rewarded with this great view of it.

All too quickly, we were driving back to Bedford on Monday, Martin Luther King Day, but would sleep in our beds for only 3 nights before heading out for parts northwest. And that was a 33% increase of what had been planned! Originally we were to have been home Tuesday for counseling and then leave for Washington state on Wednesday, but the arrival of another N'oreaster caused our Wednesday morning flight to be canceled. So, we had a true snow day and flew to Washington on Thursday. That seemed like a gift at that point, as we had been wondering aloud, “Who schedules our life?!?” No buck passing here . . . we swear to our own hurt.  :)

We thoroughly enjoyed the unexpected day at home and felt very ready Thursday to hop on a flight to Seattle and make the drive to Moses Lake where we spoke at the ministerial association’s "couples night out" that evening.  How we've grown to love our partnership with Moses Lake over the years!  This night reminded us of how much health there is in an area when pastors unify for the cause of the gospel and partner rather than compete.  It was in our heart to encourage them as pastoral couples to tend to their marriages, which can so easily be neglected due to the tyranny of the urgent which is part and parcel of the demanding nature of ministry. 

The Moses Lake Ministerial Association’s couples' dinner gave a shot in the arm to these ministry couples.

Friday we drove to Clearwater Lodge at Camp Spaulding in Newport, WA (just north of Spokane). Speaking for the Moses Lake Alliance Church marriage conference is like having a family reunion, having now partnered with this group five times over the past seven years.  Our hearts for this group are very deep and we consider it a great privilege to be on the journey with them.  Kent and Staci Copley facilitate the conference and do that so well. The weekend was blessed in every way. One person wrote, "We cannot express what a blessing you are to our marriage & for your friendship. Such a very short fellowship but a sweet time. LOVE you guys!"

The Moses Lake Alliance Church annual marriage conference.

One of the highlights of being in Moses Lake is being able to hang out with the Copleys and their precious daughters Tori and Britni. We love this family! Their friendship is one of the rich dividends of this itinerate ministry. It always feels like the time is too short.  Another highlight happened while we were at the conference: Paul's first cousins Bob and Chris Clark came to spend the day with us.  They live in Spokane, where both teach at Whitworth College.  It had been years, and we so enjoyed renewing our relationship.

Paul's first cousin Bob Clark and his wife, Chris, joined us for a day at the conference.

Early Monday, we drove to Seattle and had the sweetest 30-minute visit with Richard Dahlstrom at a coffee shop along the road.  Speaking of time that's too short . . .

We treasure our friendship with Richard Dahlstrom and were thankful for even a 30-minute rendezvous along highway 90.

The balance of the day was spent with our long time friends and co-authors (of the book Restoring the Fallen) Earl and Sandy Wilson. Reconnecting for the first time in three years, we shared joys and trials, updates on family, and vision for the future. We are so grateful that the Wilsons are in our lives. They remind us that God is in the business of restoration and He is our hope. We celebrated so many stories of redemption that God is producing through their story of redemption. This is the gospel.

Our "nightcap" was sharing a cup of coffee at Starbucks with Hannah and MaryAnn Bastedo and Rachel Weeks, three dear-to-our-heart CBS staff girls who are attending Seattle Pacific University.  So happy to get to see them even briefly!

Back to New England the next day . . . just in time for another storm.  :)  Though some may find this unbelievable, we were thrilled to be home for another big storm.  Honestly. We were so thankful that our previously scheduled ministry tour to Trinidad (originally scheduled for Thursday through Tuesday) was postponed until May so we were able to be home to enjoy this storm which dumped 12" on snow on our town.  We really did enjoy being figures in a snow globe, burning Devlin-donated firewood in our wood-burning stove, and sorting through piles that had become mini-monuments to our neglect of such non-urgent matters. 

Paul obliged my desire to track the amount of snow as it fell on Feb. 4.  :)

Our dear friends Bill and Helen Challener also paid us a visit during this time, which was extended due to yet another storm. We were all happy!

Fortunately the weather wasn't a factor the following weekend, so Friday, Feb. 7, we drove down to Havre de Grace, Maryland, to speak for the Restore Church's first marriage conference.  Led by Jess and Elizabeth Bousa, Restore has existed for two years and already has grown to three sites. The message of hope they offer is reaching a population of those emerging from lives marked by significant brokenness.  It was truly a joy to minister to this very open, very hungry group of people.  The marriage conference, held Friday night and all day Saturday, went really well, as did the four church services we taught for Satruday night and Sunday morning.  We overnighted with my sister Laura and her husband, David, in northern Virginia before driving home Monday.  Great trip.

Jess and Elizabeth Bousa are pouring their hearts and souls into Restore Church in Havre de Grace, Maryland.

We were home only one day before commencing on this trip: I'm wrapping up this blog from sunny California, and we're not only not in Uganda anymore, but we're clearly not in Bedford either. As our hometown gets hit by yet another winter storm, we're walking in shorts in California. And having snow-envy, quite honestly.  

This trip will be the subject of the next blog, so for now, I'll sign off.  

  

2014: Off and running!

The New Year snuck in when we weren't looking, it seems.  Far from Times Square, fireworks, First Night, and toasting with Mom's homemade egg nog or Martinelli's sparkling cider, we slept long before the ball dropped on Dec. 31.  That's partly due to having a 5-month-old in the house, and a much larger part having to do with being in Mbale, Uganda, as the calendar page turned for the last time in 2013 and the first time in 2014. There were no fireworks or loud parties, but many prayer meetings.  All night prayer meetings.  And every conversation with a Ugandan since has begun with, "Happy New Year."  They weren't ignoring the new year.  They just have a different view of how to usher it in. Food for thought.

With more than half the days of the first month of this new year gone already, tonight we will spend the first night in our own home in 2014.  

And in the month since we were last home, more than we could possibly process has happened.

Christmas, my dad's death and burial, and almost 3 weeks in Uganda.  Time with friends, extended family, and all our children and grandchildren.  Traveling from Boston to Santa Clarita, California, to San Diego, to Uganda, and back to Boston.  Celebrating, grieving, contemplating.  Being where we felt we should be, but wishing we could be in at least two places at once.

The new year is off and running.

We arrived in Uganda on December 28, with colliding emotions of delight in being with Derek, Julie, and Nathan, and grief in having just buried my dad.  We were wiped out emotionally and physically when we landed in Entebbe and were so thankful for the first few unscheduled days during which we had the luxury of napping when needed, going to bed early, and having our hearts brightened by Nathan’s light-up-the-world smiles.  Walks, talks, and yummy meals filled those first days and it was just what we needed.  Derek and Julie's hospitality was therapeutic.

We marked New Year's Day by meeting with a group of muzungu (white) missionaries who live in Mbale to discuss marriage and family issues. These perennially challenging relationships have taken a huge toll on missionary families, and half of those attending that day have been on the field 6 months or less, so we were making a pre-emptive strike at their invitation. It was low-key but important, and feedback confirmed that the time was well spent.  

Friday, Jan. 3, began a two-day H.I.M.-sponsored marriage training retreat in the nearby town of Tororo.  Recommended by the very pastors who attended the pastor's conference we hosted last March, this group of men and women have been doing some modicum of marriage/family ministry in their churches and were eager for more training.  Twenty-six couples took copious notes, asked questions, and joined the discussion on these important topics.  It was a very beneficial time.

The group of pastors and lay people who attended the marriage training retreat at the Prime Hotel in Tororo.

While they all stayed at the Prime Hotel in Tororo for Friday night, we returned to Mbale (about an hour away) so Paul could speak to a 6 a.m. men's breakfast on Saturday.  The sacrificed sleep seemed "worth it" based on the positive response of the men.  Back to Tororo we drove to begin around 9 a.m. and we ended by 4 in the afternoon.  

Sunday we worshiped at Pearl Haven and Paul had the honor of joining Pastor Wilberforce in dedicating Nathan during the first service. It was really moving to hear the all-African congregation respond to their charge to stand with Derek and Julie is raising him for Christ.  At the end of the dedication, Wilberforce spontaneously led the congregation in singing "How Great Thou Art", which was my father's favorite hymn and which had been sung at his memorial service just days before.  When we told him that afterwards, he said it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit to sing it and now he knew why.  It was a very tender moment.

Wilberforce and Sarah pray over Nathan at his dedication.

Monday evening, the 6th, we had a reunion of the pastors who had attended the marriage retreat in March.  Held at the Mt. Elgon Hotel, our speaking was followed by a yummy buffet featuring local cuisine. The evening provided a wonderful forum for reconnecting and sharing ideas.  All agreed that the retreat was having continuing positive effects on them. Thank you, H.I.M. family and donors, by helping to make that happen!

Next up was a three-day marriage seminar hosted by Pearl Haven Christian Center held from 2-5 pm on  Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons.  Admittedly, we were somewhat skeptical whether anyone would come to a mid-week afternoon conference, and by 2:30 pm on Wednesday afternoon our skepticism has increased, since only a few dozen people were there.  But, amazingly, by 3 pm the place was fairly full with over 200 attending.  All three days were very well attended, great questions were asked, and the conference culminated with Friday's topic on marital sexuality.  By all accounts, it was the first time such a presentation had been given in Mbale and the questions it generated were overwhelming.  Pastor Wilberforce wrapped it up at the end by beginning with a confession.  He asked for forgiveness on behalf of the evangelic pastors of the region for failing to teach them God's design for sexuality and for abdicating this critically important matter to culture, which had only served to feed distortions, exploitations, and shame.  It was a powerful moment.  

The 3-day marriage and family seminar at Pearl Haven Christian Center drew a crowd of about 250 interested and interactive folks.

I think what struck us most was how hungry for truth these precious people were.  Most of the Biblical churches seem to do a good job of teaching the Word in most areas, except as applied to marriage and family matters, and most notably, sexuality.  We prayed to teach in a way that was truthful and yet sensitive to the nature of the subject, especially when teaching to an audience that had no rubric for Biblical understanding.  Their response was incredible, revealing their longing to know how to square what they knew and felt with the reality of God's design.  We literally could've gone on for days. Our prayer is that God will empower the pastors and teachers to move beyond their own "stuckness" to lead their flocks.  Please join us in praying for that.

Pastor Wilberforce was so grateful for the 3-day conference and felt it was very, very impactful.  We pray that it was and is.

We also had the privilege of speaking at chapel for the CURE hospital staff on Thursday and Friday mornings.  Parenting was the focus of both mornings, with us presenting material Thursday and then responding to questions posed on Friday. Once again, we just loved our time with this incredibly faithful and sacrificial group of people and were impressed with the diversity of questions they asked.  Some were similar to questions we get from any western audience, and some reflected the vast cultural differences.  

At CURE Children's Hospital, after chapel, we visited with Sister Florence (next to Julie), the director of nursing, and with Grace, one of the wonderful nurses.

Our "rest" day Saturday started with brunch at the Johnsons’ with friends and ended with dinner with another set of friends, who had us to their place.  We love getting to know the people in Derek and Julie's world!

Paul preached powerfully at Pearl Haven on Sunday at both services.  African churches are alive. They worship with everything they've got and they treat the sermon as a conversation. It's really quite refreshing!!  Preaching out of Acts 3, Paul painted a vision of hope for the way God wants to meet us, abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine. Many could relate to the low hopes of the lame beggar by the pool Beautiful—a few coins would've satisfied him for the moment. But God had so much more for him as He brought healing to his limbs so he could walk and leap and praise God. Paul told them that God wanted to heal their paralysis, in whatever form it took, so that they too would walk and leap and praise Him.  The presence of the Lord was palpable.

After the first service at Pearl Haven, we stand with Dr. Peter Sinonga, one of the pediatric neurosurgeons at CURE and an elder at Pearl Haven.

We left immediately from church and headed to Kampala with Pastor Wilberforce to speak at a couples' event that evening at the Hotel Africana.  A buffet dinner was followed by an hour-long presentation on marriage, and when we finished, we were reminded that we weren't in America.  The attendees expressed dismay that that was all we were giving them.  I don't ever remember feeling that way when we finish a talk in the U.S.!  They clearly wanted to hear more and insisted that we commit to returning to do a full marriage conference the next time we're in country.  :)

Some of those who attended the couples "date" night at the Hotel Africana in Kampala. On the far left is Pastor Tom and his wife Betty, who organized the event.

Back to Mbale we drove on Monday.  I say that so casually, as though it's a “walk in the park” because, after all, it's only 137 miles and according to Google maps takes “3 hrs 3 mins.”  It's clear to me that whoever posted that information has never driven it.  Good paved roads exist for a good portion of it, but serious speed bumps slow you down to a crawl as you pass through each town center, and where the paving has gone the way of all unmaintained paving, the experience switches to off-roading on the road.  Add in to that the traffic, especially in the Kampala area, and the “3 hrs 3 mins” prediction switches to 5 hrs 5 mins.

Unless you break down, and this we did.  Just outside of Iganga, still 1 hr 40 mins from Mbale, the car broke down—and for the next 2 hours we watched in utter amazement as the car was repaired, Ugandan-village style.  Wilberforce talked to someone close to where we were stranded, expressing our need for a mechanic.  Off someone ran on foot to fetch him, and he came running to the car within 10 minutes, toting a well-worn tool box.  Within 30 minutes, he had diagnosed the problem (a frozen tension pulley) and replaced the ball bearings.  Looked like we'd be on the road shortly, until he tried to put the belt back on.  He had NO idea how to do that and since no manual could be found, a growing group of at least six men (including our two pastors, Wilberforce and Paul) were stymied.  As we were beginning to lose heart over our diminishing time with the Johnsons, who were awaiting our mid-afternoon return to their home, two muzungu missionary friends (driving home from Jinja) happen to spot us on the side of the road and stopped to help.  One of them called her husband with the make and model of the car, and he accessed the Internet which gave him a diagram of the "path of the belt" and within 20 minutes we were back in business.

When are 3 heads better than the Internet?  Maybe never...

Our rescuers, Christine Weber and Diana Tuninga, missionary friends from Mbale. Thank the Lord for technology!!

Almost.  As they drove off, Wilberforce tried to start the car, but because the belt had slipped and therefore not driven the alternator, the battery was very dead. No worries. Someone ran off to get a car to jump ours, and we watched with fascination as the men "jumped" the car without jumper cables. Who needs 'em?  Not these guys: with two metal rods, they connected the posts, and holding on to them, successfully jumped the car.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" — although I suspect the steel rods pre-dated jumper cables.  :)

50,000 shillings later (translated: $20 U.S.) for the part, the repair, and the jump, we were on our way.

That stimulated Paul's thinking about some of the advantages of living in Uganda.  :)

Our last two full days came all too quickly and we squeezed everything we could out of them.  Walks. Talks. More great meals.  (If Derek ever decides to quit his day job, he could definitely be a personal chef.)  Packing.  Sorting.  Saying good-bye.  

Thursday morning we left Mbale around 8:30 am. And then Friday evening at 10 pm Mbale time, we arrived home (that would be 2 pm EST).  It's quite a journey, as we drove to Entebbe (arriving at 3 pm, at little more than the 3 hr 3 mins prediction); flew out to Addis Ababa at 5:25 arriving at 7:30; left Addis at 10 pm, stopped for fuel in Rome some time (no de-planing) and continued on to Dulles Airport in D.C., arriving at 8 am EST (4 pm in Mbale).  After going through customs and cooling our jets in the United lounge (love the perks of flying a lot), we caught a flight at noon to Boston and landed around 2 pm.  Home by 3.  Bed by 9.  

We will be processing all of this for a time to come, but for now, we feel very blessed and thankful. What a privilege to experience Christ in a developing country, with folks whose hearts for the Lord challenge ours.  It's so easy to be distracted as an American Christian and to become dependent on a life of convenience, independence, and indulgence.  

None of those things are a part of life for most Ugandans.  Nothing is convenient.  No one is independent.  And indulgences are few.  And yet their fervor for Christ is contagious.  Their hope and their joy is in Him and in Him alone.  

Each time we come back home, we're different.  We're certainly not cured of our love for convenience, our independence, or our indulgences, but we can sense their grip is loosening on us after each visit.

Maybe even our running will slow . . . at least a bit.

Our parting shot of Derek, Julie, and Nathan . . . So thankful for them!!

2013: Now History

We're sitting in the United Lounge at Dulles Airport, 4 hours shy of 35 hours in transit from Uganda to Boston on this 17th day of January.  We've been on the road since Dec. 17, on a journey which has taken us through Christmas, my father's death and funeral, and 19 days ministering in Uganda.  It seems like a lifetime has happened since this trip commenced!

I had intended to blog about the first couple of weeks of December prior to my dad's unexpected-but-not-surprising death, but didn't get to it before he passed.  It feels incomplete to not mention our wonderful annual visit to St. Louis the first weekend in December to hang out with the precious Williams family.  Oh my!!  It's hard to believe that these little girls, who were 2 and under (and Baby was non-existent) when we met in 1998, are all hovering around 6' tall and are beautiful young teen-age women.  We baked, ate, toured a local village to see gingerbread creations, and caught up with one another in our brief 3-day visit.  Though time is never enough, we are so thankful for this continuing tradition and more thankful to see this family growing in Christlikeness and making a difference all around them for Him.

Celebrating with Grant and Emily Williams, and daughters Meegan, Madeline, and Sarah Elizabeth.

The following week we wrapped up our Patriot studies.  We had a truly sweet time of closure with the women on Wednesday morning and we all agreed that doing What's It Like Being Married to Me by Linda Dillow had been very impacting.  I love these women.  It was such a delight to meet with them all season.  On Thursday night we wrapped up the couples' study and celebrating seeing growth in a number of couples' this fall.  Nothing about the evening went exactly as planned: terrible traffic delayed our arrival (and with us, several side dishes for dinner) by almost an hour, and we realized only as we assembled the gift bags for each couple once down there that we had forgotten the jars of homemade raspberry jam at our house—but the party went on.  We got out of the "jam" the next day when Paul drove south to visit Thora Eames and I suppose "all's well that ends well" applies here.

The Patriots women's study on a baking workshop day.

Our final night of the couples' study, missing a few of the "regulars."  Great group!!

We were gifted with a huge snow storm that weekend, which made staying home PERFECT as I sewed, baked, wrapped, and mailed in preparation for Christmas.  It stopped early enough on Sunday so we could join the Armenian community at the Belmont church honor and send off Greg and Sossi Haroutunian to their new church assignment in Fresno.  We adore this family and will miss them in New England, but bless their westward migration as they return to Greg's roots and family.

True conversation:  Virginia:  "What's not to love about snow?"  Paul:  "Shoveling, maybe?"  :)

It was a mad scramble to the last minute to get off on the 17th as we were preparing for Christmas in California followed by 2.5 weeks in Uganda.  What we didn't know then was that we would also be preparing for my father's death and funeral in that time period.  It's always good to be reminded that God wasn't taken by surprise, and we were so very aware that His grace was very apparent in how everything unfolded.

Our days in California up until the 23rd were delightful in every way as we hung with Gabe, Kari, Brandon, Ana, and Lisa.  No big "to do" lists which had driven the days at home.  No overly ambitious plans.  Just a lot of enjoying being together, playing, baking, a bit of shopping, and lots of being. Having children both slows things down and speeds things up in a funny mix.  And our two-day celebration of Christmas at Garcias' house on the 24th and 25th were full of joy.  Nothing like Christmas with a 3-year-old.  I'll treasure the look on Brandon's face when he discovered Baby Jesus in the manger Christmas morn.  It was also priceless to hear him exclaim, "This is just what I wanted!" upon opening most every one of his gifts.  :)  Very sweet.

Brandon finding Baby Jesus in the manger Christmas morning.

  

So fun being together in our matching jammies.

  

This puts a wrap on 2013.  It was a year in which a lot of family and ministry history was made. Garcias relocated to Santa Clarita.  Lisa moved to California.  Derek and Julie had their first child. Gabe and Kari had their second. My father passed away.  The Marriage App was birthed.  Several of our books became ebooks.  We were on the road four times as much as we were home.

As we look ahead, we wonder what God has in store.  Much of what happened last year was unknown when 2013 turned its first page.  The "what" will happen is still hidden, but thankfully, the "Who's got it under control" isn't.  We enter 2014 with confidence that He goes before us and that His mercies will be new every morning.

How good to rest in His faithfulness.

Tribute to a Truly Great Man

RADM Frank Charles Collins, Jr., USN, ret. October 29, 1927 – December 23, 2013

My last blog post, in early December, focused on thanksgiving and legacy, highlighting the rich heritage we have in our families of origin.  At that time, we had no idea that my dad's days on earth would expire less than three weeks later. But God did. And we have seen His gracious hand in the unfolding events of this past week in an unmistakable way.

After a ten year battle with dementia, my sweet Papa breathed his last on December 23 at 2:05 p.m. As only God could've orchestrated, we were with him, as were all of our immediate family except Derek, Julie, and Nathan.  (There were also numerous other family members there, including of course his beloved bride of 65.5 years, who never left the chair next to the sofa upon which he died)  as well of 5 of his 7 children.  We had gone to San Diego as scheduled for two days of Christmas with them Dec. 22, arriving an hour before he opened his blue eyes for the last time and 24 hours before he breathed his last.  Two days earlier, he was eating normally and maintaining status quo.  His rapid decline began Saturday morning and he was gone Monday early afternoon.  So much mercy in him not lingering when it was apparent he was "done" on earth. 

This week has been filled with a gamut of emotions, for sure.  In his very compromised condition, we all knew that death would surely be gain for him and we wanted that for him.  And for us, because we knew he was going to the arms of his deeply loved Heavenly Father, his death held no fear, dread, or uncertainty.

It just held deep sorrow as we said good-bye to one who has so impacted our lives.  The day that we wanted/didn't want had come.  Though comforted by the belief that this death will separate us only temporarily, it's still really hard to bury one who has your heart in a way few others do.  And, unequivocally, the second most important man in my life. 

There are so many ways my dad has influenced who I am.  Because our temperaments are similar, we have shared a natural bend in doing life.  Besides that, we shared common interests in so many areas: from our love of the outdoors—hiking, camping, swimming, running, biking—to our love for reading, writing, and speaking; we also shared our love for order, organization, stewardship, and maintenance.  But our bond runs much deeper than these temporal features could facilitate.

I think that bond was forged because of who he was "when no one was looking." His character proved his core values.  He could be trusted because his walk matched his talk.

Only retrospectively am I able to see that his commitment to being a man of standing, a faithful husband, and father was core to my feeling safe, secure, and well-loved as a child.  Generational blessings.  Such a gift!

The two best gifts he gave me were his love for Christ and his love for my mom.  His love for Christ was real.  It informed all of his lifestyle choices and priorities.  He loved God's word and committed much of it to memory.  He loved the church and was committed to being involved in it as well as serving it.  He was an authentic follower of Christ.

The other treasured gift I cherish is how he loved my mom (and admittedly this was a two-way street — Mom adored her Frank!)  He loved her well, sacrificially, adoringly, and with a servant-heartedness not often seen.  He loved her up close and he loved her from afar.  He helped to make her radiant.

And to the end of his 86 years on earth, he loved her and she him.  Amazingly, in spite of the dementia, he never ceased to express love and familiarity to his bride.  Surely the way she so sacrificially loved him these last years facilitated their lifelong bond.

These two gifts are truly what helped to make the gospel real to me as a child growing up in this home. Our home was far from perfect, with varying amounts of sibling rivalry, financial pressures, and the exhausting demands of running a household of 9.  But, I truly never questioned the veracity of the Gospel, because through whatever came our way, our parents lead us back to the Cross.  We prayed. We searched scripture.  We believed that God was who He said He was, and we lived backwards of that truth. We confessed and we forgave.  And we forged ahead.

I will forever be grateful to have been blessed to have had the parents I had.   Though I will miss my father deeply, what he gave me through his life will continue to influence how I live my life.  And I will look forward to spending eternity with him when my days on life are done.

A memorial service to celebrate his life was held Dec. 26th at the Veterans Museum and Memorial Center in Balboa Park, San Diego, California.  The comments I made in honor of my dad can be read here.

Mardi Gras 1947.  Dating, but not married until August 16, 1948.

The Captain and his crew: six "gulls" and a "buoy" around 1966.  Mom made those matching dresses out of raw silk Papa brought home from one of his cruises.  She dyed the off-white silk red to make it appropriate for Christmas.  No explanation for the drapes.

Navy Ball, circa late 1970's

The original 7 with Queen Esther after the memorial service held Dec. 26, 2013

Around 2000: a sweet visit with Grandpa and Grandma at their home in Alexandria, VA.