Here, There, and Everywhere (Part 3) Final!

For the only period of time in 2014, we're actually home for four weeks.  At first blush, I imagined how much I'd get done and how many people I'd get to reconnect with over a cup of coffee or a walk.  Now at the end of said period, I'm amazed that I didn't get much done (in some respects) and that few of the "I would love to spend some time with you" friends were seen.  A close scrutiny of our schedule reveals that we (Home Improvement Ministries) hosted three events during this time, two of which were major conferences.  Plus, we spoke for three different Mom to Mom groups, we spoke at two date nights on the north shore, we flew to St. Louis for a rite-of-passage celebration, we counseled five days, we did a one-day marriage conference for a local church, and then an evening seminar for another.  In between, we prepared for all those speaking engagements, attempted to catch up on the growing piles of mail and other necessary-for-life things, and watched a few episodes of "I Love Lucy" for comic relief.  Guess that explains it!

Now we'll fill in the blanks.

We wrapped up a three-month, once-a-month "date night" hosted jointly by the North Shore Community Baptist Church and The Harbor Church up on the north shore.  Each week, Londie Grothjan beautifully decorated the social hall to set the stage for us to speak on a different aspect of marriage.  They thought of everything, from available child care to yummy desserts, and the enthusiastic response to this event confirmed the need for it.  We loved having the opportunity to partner with these churches which are aware that building in to healthy marriages is critical to everything else that happens within their congregations.

The welcoming tables "hugged" everyone who walked into the fellowship hall at North Shore Community Baptist Church.

Worship through music was a part of each of the date nights.

Paul spoke to a men's group for "Men's Night Out" in Halifax, MA, on Friday, March 14, and was deeply encouraged by the responsiveness of the large group of men who showed up.  Sorry, no photos. Paul doesn't "do" that.  :)

March 15th and 16th was Engagement Matters.  How we love to speak in to the lives of those considering marriage! Lots of great conversations were had throughout this two-day conference and the attendees really seemed to appreciate the various ways in which they were both encouraged and challenged. Ryan and Kelly Plosker came up on Sunday to teach a session and, as always, they were wildly popular.  

Every couple is offered a follow-up private counseling session with us to dive deeper in areas pertinent to them, and one such couple sent this note following their private session:

"Thanks so much for meeting with my potential fiancé  and me last night. It was wonderful to have more time with you and ask you questions that we still needed advice on. You both have been such a blessing to us, even in the little time we've spent together. Thank you for your ministry and hearts for the Lord; God is doing amazing work through you!"

We thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with these engaged or pre-engaged couples at Engagement Matters.

Carl & Cathy Blatchley and Helen Challener served throughout the weekend, preparing food, cleaning, and taking care of all but teaching.  So thankful for them!!

When long time friends and ministry partners, Rich and Sue Musacchio invited us to spend an evening speaking to their church, Revive, on the subject of sexuality, we enthusiastically said yes and then were challenged to find a date that would work.  That proved to be much harder, but we finally settled on Tuesday night, March 18.  It was a great night, but even greater to us was hearing the heart and seeing the vision of their relatively young church plant.  They have a huge heart for those recovering from many forms of brokenness and the love and grace of the place was palpable.  We were so glad we found a date that worked!

Rich and Sue Musacchio lead worship at Revive Church.

We drove to New Hampshire the next morning to speak to the Mom to Mom group at Bethany Church in Greenland, and the next day we spoke at Grace Chapel's Mom to Mom group in Lexington, MA.  The previous week we had spoken at Faith Evangelical Church's Mom to Mom group in Acton, MA.  We love the ministry of Mom to Mom, which can be a lifeline to so many young moms who thrive in the context of Biblical truth as it applies to parenting and wise mentors who "have been there and done that."  It was an honor to speak in all three churches.  

Moms taking it all in  at Bethany Church.

Next up was the Home Improvement Ministries annual marriage retreat, March 21-23, held once again at the beautiful, historic Viking Hotel in Newport, RI.  

Kelly Plosker once again designed and decorated the ballroom and welcome table, ensuring that people felt warmly received when they arrived.

Barbara Steele welcomes a couple at registration.

Beautiful decorations.  Sweet goodie bags.  Welcoming registration table.  Great music lead by Rayna and Danny Oertli and supported by Rich and Sue Musacchio and Erik Kerr.  Important break-out sessions.  A packed house.  Multi-generational, with about 20% of the couples married less than 6 years, and about as many married over 30 years. Beautiful weather.  Delicious food.  An over-the-top wait-staff.

Danny and Rayna Oertli lead the worship band, which included Erik Kerr and Rich and Sue Musacchio.  They were terrific!

The ballroom at the Viking was full, as the conference sold out several weeks ahead and some later registrants ended up staying in other hotels and coming to the Viking for the program and meals.

At the insistence of the H.I.M. Board, we were the featured speakers.  We argued, but to no avail.  So we prayed and prepared and felt that God met us in a unique way.

The theme of "Dreams and Memories" was inspired by the Old Testament account of Moses reminding the grumbling, questioning children of Israel to remember God's faithfulness to them in the past, and to look to Him for their hope in the future.  As we counsel so many couples, the parallels are astonishingly similar.  Many couples struggling in their marriage have forgotten their early days when they were most likely very happy with one another, and they are so mired in the trouble of the present, they've lost sight of the hope of the future.  It's a strategy from the enemy that works amazingly well.

And so we went to our attic and retrieved "relics" of our courtship and early years of marriage in the form of poems, cards, letters, etc., which revealed the depth of our sappiness towards one another.  :)  We had evidence of the very thing we teach pre-marrieds to be cautious of....the over production of oxytocin physiologically has the effect of amplifying the good and minimizing the things you don't want to see.  It was there in black and white (and sometimes, color) in our hands: "You seldom annoy me"  and "I'm completely content in this relationship" and "Nothing will ever make me feel any different."  

Since Hallmark cards fell short of accurately expressing our growing love for one another, most of these were handmade cards or typewritten letters.

I'm so glad we still have them.  Seeing them again took me right back to the days we were making these unrealistic but oh-so-sincere observations to one another.

It had the effect on us that we were hoping it would have on those in attendance.  Reconnecting us with feelings and memories, now somewhat mitigated by the years of life together, it re-sparked the "this is too good to be true" aura of our young love for one another. The opening session was all about the past—hopes, dreams, expectations—and the evening ended with a slide show of wedding photos from each of the couples as Barbra Streisand crooned "The Way We Were" in the background.  It was a very special evening.

April 24, 1976 . . . so, so magical.

The remaining plenary session talks dealt honestly with the things which had derailed some of those hopes and dreams and offered the redemptive hope of the gospel, so that our future would be shaped by His heart for our marriage.  

One couple, married under three years, wrote:  "This was truly a life changing experience for us.  I had been praying for our marriage to be strengthened and this retreat was exactly what we needed.  Thank you so much for helping us grow stronger together as a couple through Christ."

Another wrote, "Thank you for a wonderful weekend.  We left with many wonderful strategies to help us live together with a stronger, more cooperative marriage.  We also had time to reflect on the importance of our faith as it relates to our marriage."

A wife, married just under 30 years, wrote:  "After praying for six years that my husband would come to this conference, he did....and he became a Christian this weekend.  Glorify the Lord!!!"

The first night we shared the "265 Hope St" house address sign which hangs in our counseling office.  It was given to us by a couple who, 15 years ago, felt there was no hope for their struggling marriage, which was being assaulted by the toxic fallout of infidelity, possible bankruptcy, parallel lives, and infertility.  They had been to three counselors, all of whom encouraged them to cut their losses and move on.

Thankfully, they didn't take that advice. Instead of "moving on", they moved towards Jesus and did a lot of hard work over the next two years to bring restoration to their marriage.  Today they lead marriage ministries in their church and are raising a child with a heart for the Lord.

Several years ago they presented us with this street sign, which had belonged to the house they were living in when all this went down. They didn't want to throw it away or keep it for themselves, but decided to give it to us to put in our office as a reminder to every couple who comes for counseling.  Our hope is in the Lord.

All weekend, the sign was prominently displayed on the stage and more than a few at the conference commented on how powerful it was.  One suggested we change the "265" to "365" since every day is marked by hope when we're living for Him.

Notice the "265 Hope St" sign above our heads.  It was a powerful symbol for many.

Danny and Rayna Oertli once again did a wonderful job of leading us in musical worship.

Part of the H.I.M. team who made the weekend happen.  We are SO grateful for this group.  They are tireless in their efforts to serve the body of Christ through the ministry of H.I.M.

As we drove out of Newport at conference end, this was the canvas God painted for us.  Spectacular.

As we drove home post-conference, we were filled with such gratitude for God's goodness and faithfulness.  Only He could've produced the results we experienced throughout the weekend. All praise is His!

We were in town until March 28, Friday, when we flew to St. Louis to celebrate the "13th Birthday Rite of Passage" for Sarah Elizabeth Williams.  Sarah Elizabeth is the youngest daughter of Grant and Emily Williams, ret. NFL, ex-Pat.  We love this family!  We've been "surrogate" family for them since the early 2000's as neither had Christian heritages.  They're doing a great job raising their three daughters for Christ.  It's so inspirational to know that Grant and Emily are beginning a godly legacy to give to the next generation. 

It was a true joy to see their home full of others (who love them and whose lives are being changed because of theirs) Saturday night for the celebration.  Many words of courage and affirmation were spoken to Sarah Elizabeth.  It was a good reminder of how important it is to have great companions with you on this journey to the heart of God.

Grant and Emily and their three daughters are with Grant's sister Tonya and her husband Joe and their three boys.

Sarah Elizabeth's 13th birthday poster is one of many meaningful gifts she received.

We flew in from St Louis on Sunday at noon-ish and drove directly to Watertown to do a conference for Cornerstone Church.  The small group of about 18 or so couples met in a home and we spoke on marriage.  All but two of the couples have been married for less than a year—or were engaged!  What a great opportunity to help shape the foundations of their marriages.

The Cornerstone Christian Church members who attended the marriage seminar.

This concludes the trilogy of "Here, there  and everywhere."  Though our schedule has been a bit crazy, it has been so gratifying to see how God meets us in all of these different venues.  As it is, we're so grateful.

And it's been nice to not be "here, there, and everywhere . . ." for at least a few days!!

Here, There, and Everywhere (Part 2)

I wasn't joking when I said we were home briefly after our Feb. 12–24 California speaking tour.  Two days of counseling, and we were off!  Or, I was off, to Paradise, Pennsylvania, where I spoke for an Amish-hosted scrapbooking weekend.

Yes.  As oxymoronic as that sounds, that's what I did.

And it was a dream come true for me.  Ever since 1969, when my family moved to Northern Virginia and we discovered the delights of the Amish people, who lived a short 2.5 hours north of our rented home in Alexandria, Virginia.  We made many day trips to that back-in-time enclave of devotees committed to simplicity and to an undistracted-by-worldliness lifestyle . . . and a place in my heart was formed for these people.  Drawn in by their seemingly uncomplicated lives and their pursuit of focusing on the basic-needs-to-live philosophy, I secretly longed to spend a week or two with them.  Notice I wasn't deluded enough to believe I could make a total switch, but truth be told, I'm more comfortable with their simplicity than I am with American culture's obsession with "stuff."  (On the other hand, if you've noticed the many pictures I've posted over the years, maybe it's not so hard to imagine me there, as repeat performances by my "uniform" outfits appear over and over and over.)

My friend Liz Lane, whose pastor husband Steve serves as senior pastor of Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church, gave Rachel King, owner of From the Heart Scrapbooking Shop, a copy of my book Raising a Trailblazer:  Rite of Passage Trail Markers for your Set-Apart Teen and Rachel loved it. That's what led to me having coffee with her and her five children at their home in Paradise, which led to dreaming about a scrapbooking conference, and the rest, as they say, is history.

What a sweet, sweet time.  Rachel hosted Liz and me in their home—without electricity, technology, or a car.  Yes.  No car.  No TV.  No computers.  Besides those "differences," which were honestly almost unnoticed as battery-operated lamps lit the way, the home was full of the delights of a large family growing up together.  Five adorable children who are obviously well-loved and well-trained by their parents.  And parents who truly love each other and who love Jesus.  Junior (Rachel's husband) cooked omelets for us to round out Rachel's yummy breakfast muffins and after eating, the children drifted off to play games or read.  It was refreshing to see no iPod earplugs or iPads in hand.  I would've gladly just stayed in the home for the day, but the conference beckoned, so off to the barn we went.

Her scrapbooking shop is built above their barn, which houses their horses and buggies.  Fourteen ladies filled the work space with various creative projects and I spoke 3 times between Friday night and Saturday afternoon.  Rachel and two of her five sisters served lovely meals and kept things going.  

It was one of the most fulfilling and inspiring things I've done.  Rachel is a beautiful woman, immensely gifted artistically and relationally.  Her shop is only open a few months of the year because she's a wife and a mother first and doesn't want to miss out on raising her children or loving her husband.  She's practical, down-to-earth, genuine, wise, hospitable, and winsome.  She knows the difference between "religiosity" and "personal relationship with Christ" and she lives authentically and devotedly for Him.

My first real experience in an Amish home far exceeded my lofty expectations.

And joy!  She wants to do it again.  Bring it on!! 

The Amish farm just across the street from Rachel's home . . . freeze drying the clothes.  Love it!

Liz Lane, Rachel Esh, and Rachel King, celebrating the success of the scrapbooking conference.

The ladies who attended: an eclectic but very congenial group which quickly bonded during the weekend.  All had in common their love for Rachel King and her beautiful shop.

The aura of 24 hours of living Amish quickly dissipated, sadly, as I rented a car and drove from Harrisburg, PA, to Baltimore, MD, to catch a flight to California.  The 1hr 40mins trip would get me to the airport hotel easily before 8 pm, and I'd get a good night of rest before catching an early morning flight.  "Easily" turned out not to be part of this journey, I soon found out, when for reasons then unknown to me, traffic backed up for miles about 30 minutes shy of my destination.  1hr 30mins delayed, I eventually found out that 83 South had been closed due to the potential collapse of part of the highway, and the subsequent delay and detour, though warranted, sabotaged my "isn't life peaceful and perfect" reverie less than 2 hours after leaving "Paradise."  Finally to the hotel by 9, I decided to return the rental car so as to not have to worry about it at 4 in the morning, and the first gas station I stopped at to refill had non-functioning pumps due to a shift change and computer downloading process.  But I waited for 10 minutes with an impotent hose in my gas tank before giving up on the "it'll only be a minute" explanation I'd been given twice by the attendant.  Off to another station, which boasted having a Subway sandwich shop inside, and with a momentary sense of happiness, I decided the Lord kept the pumps closed at the other station so I could grab a bite to eat at the second station.  Notice the word "momentary."  After filling up, I went in to get a Subway . . . only to find it closed.  Missed it by 10 minutes: the 10 minutes I was waiting at the first station.  Oh well.  Off to return the rental car, I carefully entered the address of the car return in iMaps and off I went, determined to trust the GPS, which caused me to ignore the signs to the rental car return area.  Following it, I was suddenly in the middle of an abandoned air strip with nothing but eerie flashing warning messages to watch for possible emergency vehicles in the area.  Thoroughly freaked out at 11 pm, in the dark, alone, I turned off iMaps and retraced my steps back to the rental car return signs and successfully returned the car.  And then I waited for a courtesy bus to return me to the hotel, which a few short hours later would take me back to the airport.

But it doesn't end there.  Once back in the hotel, I decided to confirm the time of my early morning flight, only to discover that for reasons known only to the cyber-gods, I could find no trace of my reservation confirmation on my computer.  No worries.  Call Paul, the one who makes all such reservations.  Wait—he's in the air himself, flying to California to do the funeral that I'm flying out for. By now, I am beside myself. Exhausted, hungry, and frustrated, with the memories of the most idyllic, peaceful scrapbooking conference completely obliterated. Tears. Bad thoughts. Oh!  How thin the line is at times!

Two hours later, Paul landed in LA and wished he hadn't turned his phone on immediately to read a cryptic text from his very distraught wife, languishing in self-pity in a 2-star hotel in Baltimore.  Within minutes, he had located my flight information and I fell into a beyond-exhausted heap for a short, short night of sleep.  

But it still doesn't end there.  Off to the airport, I flew from Baltimore to Phoenix without a hitch.  That was nice.  And productive.  I was then to fly to Orange County, arriving at 11:40 am for a 2 pm funeral.  Easy breezy.  But not really.  After turning down the offer to take a $300 "bump" and be placed on a flight to Ontario (which would land 30 minutes after the Phoenix flight would and then be bused to Orange County) because I didn't want to risk missing the funeral, the announcement came through that the Phoenix flight was delayed due to a lavatory malfunction.  No worries, they said.  A 30 minute delay could be expected.  If you fly much, you know that's code for "we'll say 30 minutes to start with, so you all don't mutiny, and then we'll keep adding the minutes according to our need."  We were finally boarded 1hr 30mins later, and just after pushing off from the gate, the captain announced, "Good news, bad news.  Good news: we're pushed back.  Bad news: Air Force One has landed and we're grounded for another 30 minutes until air space is cleared for security."

Seriously???  My seat mate is probably still wondering what tragic news I was discussing on the phone with Paul at that moment as I was really, really close to . . . well, I'm not sure what, but I was close to it.

Thankfully the story ends well.  The flight did take off and it did safely land at 1:20 pm, and my dear friend Wendy Turney did pick me up after a last-minute frantic call from Paul arranged the connection, and after getting my luggage, changing my clothes, and driving to the funeral home, I arrived at 1:55 pm.  Just in time.  Whew!!

And that's how life rolls at times.  Two 24-hr periods of time, back to back, different as night and day. The second 24-hour period rebukes my "everything SHOULD go right and according to my time table and expectations because I have important things to do" mindset and reminds me that "she who lives without margins can easily be derailed."

The funeral honored the life of our very dear friend Wendy's Auntie Lynne and Paul did a beautiful job of leading the service.  The joy of being there was connecting with Wendy's extended family, all dear friends of ours.  It was a great celebration and I was exceedingly thankful that I was there.  

Standing with sisters Pam and Wendy and their wonderful Mom "Gami Jo" Baker the morning after the funeral.

Up next, with the residual dust of Amish simplicity still resonating, we checked in to a 5-star "boutique resort" in San Diego for the annual Pro-Athletes Outreach (NFL) conference.  It was clear I wasn't in "Paradise" Pennsylvania any longer.  Our room was half the size of our home and dripping with elegance.  Rose petals.  Chocolates.  A Nespresso machine.  A small swimming pool called a "tub." Oh, and electricity and TV's. Talk about a swing to the other side.  Crazy.

We love this conference every year and feel privileged to be workshop presenters for 13 years in a row. With worship lead by the Katinas, and with Francis Chan and Jon and Jeni Kitna (and others) presenting in the plenary sessions, the conference was "off the charts" for the almost 400 in attendance. Reconnecting with many "ex-Pats" and others we've met through the years was so encouraging.  God is using the unique privilege of these families to make a difference as they live out their Christian convictions.

There were two highlights of the conference for us.  We brought my mom, a rabid NFL fan (with a very specific love for the San Diego Chargers, the New Orleans Saints, and the Washington Redskins), to spend an evening with us (okay, with "them"—though she loves us, she would never have been so revved up for just an evening with us!)  and it was a magical evening.  The "guys" and their wives were so kind to her!  She was glowing.  And taking it all in.  A very memorable evening was had by all.

Benjamin and Kirsten Watson ate dinner with us.  Can you see the glow on my mom's face?

The second highlight was having two of our Patriots players come to Christ at the conference.  As we witnessed their baptisms, we were overwhelmed with gratitude for the work of the Holy Spirit.  Great rejoicing!!!

Thomas  (an ex-Pat) and Margaret Austin (and Baby Austin, due in early April) loved being introduced to Torrey Pines State Beach.

Don (also an ex-Pat) and Yannette Davis run the football conference and are such precious friends, in addition to being professional colleagues.  God is using them in big ways.

PAO ended and we spent a couple of days with my mom before flying home.  Because our 3rd conference in just over a week was an all-day marriage seminar for . . . the officers of the Salvation Army.  Quite a spectrum-of-life experience in 9 short days!!

These moments remind us that we are completely dependent on the Holy Spirit to speak through us. Left to our own devices, we'd come up short being clever or wise enough to speak to the hearts of those ranging from the Amish to NFL players to Salvation Army officers.  Really short.

But our day (March 10) in Sharon, MA, with about 80 officers was nothing short of wonderful and we once again felt very met by the Lord.  Great conversations between sessions, great interaction during sessions, and all agreed it was a day well spent when all was said and done.  Thank you, Lord.

Major David Kelly, Divisional Commander of the Massachusetts Division of the Salvation Army, and his wife, Naomi, hosted the marriage conference for their team and were wonderful to work with.

Meanwhile, on the family front, Julie and Derek have been busy on the frontlines of hospital work in Mbale, while Nathan closes in on 8 months and keeps them on their toes.  He is smiley, active, and "eat-him-up" cute, which makes up for his sometimes erratic sleep patterns.  Julie spent a lot of time during the month of February doing physical therapy for a young missionary couple who sustained significant injuries in a tragic car accident which took the life of their five-week-old baby girl.  The family has returned to the States now for further treatment, and Julie's work with the mother was pivotal in her recovery.  Pray for this dear family who have a long road ahead of them, both physically and emotionally.  

Nathan, lighting up the continent of Africa with his engaging smile and outgoing personality.

Lisa's first season as the head athletic trainer for women's basketball at UCLA has ended, sooner than anyone wanted, but with the team down to just six players, it was no surprise that they didn't make it beyond the first round of the Pac12 tournament.  She's been "recovering" from the intensity of the past 7 months in a variety of ways, including stealing away to Campus by the Sea for a few days and catching a few hikes with the Garcias.  

Speaking of the Garcias, their life is also full of activity between their work with Grace Baptist Church and a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old.  They are thrilled to be where they are, doing what they're doing, and especially loving growing their family.  

Auntie LeeLee makes hiking all the more fun for Brandon.

Though Ana appears to be not too sure about hiking, everyone else had a blast.

Thankfully, though we've been here, there, and everywhere, God has been reminding us faithfully that He is, too.  Through rain, snow, sunrises, and sunsets, when things go right and when they don't, He is with us in this amazing life journey.  We are truly, truly grateful.

Part 3 is coming . . . stay tuned!!

Sunset from Coronado Beach, California.  We never grow tired of this beauty.

Here, There, and Everywhere (Part 1)

We've spoken in sixteen different venues, made two trips to California and one to Pennsylvania, run two H.I.M.-sponsored conferences, spoken at seven different events in the greater Boston area, counseled seven days, had four different sets of houseguests, and have only been home 19 of the past 49 days.  No wonder I've found "time" for reflective writing  elusive. No surprise that I've changed the date on the subject line of this blog three times. The time has now come.  Captive on a flight to St. Louis, I will resist the temptation to read until I write.

Though it seems like forever ago, we flew to California just before Valentine's Day to hang out with the "fam" for a couple of days prior to speaking.  We joined my mom and three of my sisters for a Persian meal in Irvine to launch our 11-day tour of California and had such a sweet time.  It was the first time we had been with my mom since my dad's funeral and it made his death seem a bit more real. Brandon and Ana did their part to mitigate our grief. They both love their Great-Grandma Essie.

Three of my sisters, Francene, Sue, and Melissa, drove my mom up to meet us in Irvine for lunch.

Great-Grandma Essie loves and is loved by all little people.

For the 4th year in a row, we were privileged to speak at The Rock Church's Valentine's Couples Night Out.  Brent and Melissa Slezak put their heart and soul into this event and we love partnering with them.

Getting there to celebrate this "heart" day, however, threatened to give us heart attacks.  Leaving in "plenty of time" from Gabe and Kari's home in Santa Clarita, we began the 48-mile journey 3 hours ahead of start time, but arrived with only 5 minutes to spare.  Unconvinced that we would have even 5 minutes as we crept along the slowly moving, very congested Los Angeles freeway (are there any other kind???), I actually changed my clothes in the car.  Discreetly, of course.  Makes for a very relaxing start to a speaking engagement.  Fortunately, we were feted to a delicious dinner in a beautifully set fellowship hall prior to speaking, so our heart rates had returned to normal levels before we were handed the mics.  And . . . "all's well that ends well" is apropos.  The evening went very well.  

A big shout out to Brent and Melissa, however, who remained calm as we updated them on our non-progress, even when we at some point, rather despairingly suggested that they might need to speak in our stead.  "Keep driving," they responded, unflustered.  We did jettison the video clips we had planned to use since a sound check was impossible, but that was a small price to pay for severely underestimating that 48 miles would take 3 hours to drive. Make that 2 hours and 55 minutes. This reinforces our belief that if we ever return to live in So Cal, it will be because God makes it unmistakably clear.

Brent and Melissa Slezak hosted The Rock Church's Valentine's couples event. Love their hearts for family and marriage!!

Our return to Santa Clarita that night was painless.  Thank you Lord.  And being wakened early Saturday a.m. by a loud "GRRRRRR" from the little monster-in-training (Brandon) caused us to forget the frustration of the drive just hours earlier.

Later that day, we flew to San Francisco to speak at Peninsula Covenant Church on....marriage!!!  We love PCC and we love Gary and Anne Gaddini, so it's always with joyful anticipation that we come to Redwood City.  Everything—the people, the principles, the plans—of this church body are dynamic, relevant, and proactive.  They are not just hearers of the Word, but also doers.  We love their love for God's Word and their commitment to living it authentically.  This is top-down leadership in action.

We taught at all three services on Sunday. . . from coat and tie, to shirt and khakis, to jeans and long-sleeve.  Paul thought it was good that they stop at three services.  Bathing suit for the 4th???  :)

We also taught at their "Big Wednesday" night gathering on intimacy.  A larger-than-normal group apparently formed, most likely a response to said topic, and we had a great night together.  After presenting, Brian Rehn (the family and marriage pastor at PCC and all around great guy) fielded texted-in questions, which ended the evening on a "scratch where I'm itching" note.  We loved it!!

In between Sunday night and Wednesday night we met up with various friends, poked around several exciting thrift stores, and caught up a bit with ourselves.  After Wednesday night, and before our next speaking gig began Friday night, we spent two glorious days on the beach just north of Monterey as guests of some dear friends.  With the sound of waves crashing just yards from the condo, we lost ourselves in the beauty of the ocean, the joy of walking the coastline with sand scrunching beneath our feet, the discovery of sand dollars so plentiful it seemed like we'd hit a "jackpot", the mesmerizing effect of watching the sets of waves pummel the shoreline with wind-driven mist dancing off the cresting surf, and the daily ritual of observing the symphony in the sky as the setting sun painted a color display that would rival the most extensive show of fireworks.

It was the therapy we needed and we basked in the wonderfulness of each moment we were there. And did we mention that we drove through  (actually by) fields teeming with giant, ripe artichokes - the vegetable of the gods????  Heaven on earth.

We had a sweet time of fellowship and food with the Gaddini gang at their home twice while in Redwood City.

As the crowd gathered for our Wednesday night talk on intimacy, I grabbed a hug with long time friend Neyney Jackson.

With our hosts at the beach condo, we delayed all evening plans until the sun had retired from displaying its glory, which reflects His glory.

We spent the weekend of Feb. 21-23 at Mt. Hermon Christian Conference Center, speaking at their couples' conference.  Our love for Mt. Hermon goes way back...38 years to be exact, as we spent several days of our honeymoon in the backyard of this conference center.  We've been back many times through the years for a variety of conferences and have always appreciated Mt. Hermon's commitment to Biblical integrity and to growing God-honoring families.  When Dave Burns invited us to speak at this conference, we enthusiastically accepted.

And we were not disappointed.  We had a warm, receptive crowd.  A few "old"—actually, "long-term"—friends, and many new friends.  A well-run program.  Working with Dave Burns. Great food. Beautiful setting.  Ziplining through the great Redwoods.  

Nothing to improve upon.

The best?  Hearing from numerous couples that God had met them in a significant way during the weekend.

All praise is His.

Dave Burns, director of family and marriage programs at Mt. Hermon made us feel very at home.

The weekend was sold out and the crowd was very engaged, interactive and appreciative.

We were thrilled to do the zipline tour at Mt Hermon.

We flew back to Boston on Monday, Feb. 24, after spending the night with our dear friends Johnny and Lori Potter at their home in Monterey. This almost-two-week trip was rich in so many ways and we returned home thankfully pooped!!  We hit the road again just 2 days after returning, but that's a story for part 2.  Blessings!!!

We're Not in Uganda Anymore

We left the land of no winter (Uganda) on Jan. 16 and re-entered the land of perpetual winter (New England).  What a difference one day makes!  It was clear immediately: we're not in Uganda anymore.

I love both lands.

Within 20 hours of landing at Logan Airport on Jan 17, we were driving in a snowstorm to our annual H.I.M.-sponsored Midwinter Family Getaway, held for the first time at The Anchorage Inn in York, Maine. 150 people gathered to swim in the snow—or more correctly, swim indoors while the snow fell outside.  Well, all but about 15 enthusiastic teenagers, who decided that a polar bear dip in the frigid Atlantic would be a very "cool" thing to do. They made a memory, for sure!

It was a high-energy, dynamic weekend which held a little bit of everything: worship, teaching, fellowship, community meals, and, of course, swimming.  Brian Dietz and Will and Becky Barnett (from Highrock Church of Arlington, MA) took on the programming for the weekend and did a great job.  It was the only way we could agree to hosting the event, since we were flying in from Uganda less than a day before the conference began.  Jim and Sue Martis took on feeding everyone and did a remarkable job, especially given their "outdoor" camping cookstove set-up.  

Paul and I taught two sessions to the adults, one on parenting and one on marriage.  The families present ranged from those with very young children to those with high school/college kids, so it was very multigenerational in a very healthy way.

We were perhaps most encouraged to see such a great group of teens at the conference. They were positive, engaged, helpful, polite, and very alive. They helped with the younger kids during our teaching sessions, participated in worship and every other part of the program, and were "all in."  Most of them have attended family camp together for years and it was obvious that the friendships between them are real and meaningful.  Very hope giving. 

The low point of the weekend was the Patriots’ loss to the Broncos in the AFC play-off game, though given how depleted our ranks were with season-ending injuries, I'm not sure how confident we were that we'd be able to take down the Broncos in their home.  We had a great season, really, and we've moved on to next year's prospects.

Brian Dietz lead worship and had a lot of help for "Days of Elijah" as well as for the "Butterfly Song."

A segment of the very fun, interactive game "Fishbowl"  was part of each large group session. Men against women.  Always exciting.

Jim braved the elements to feed everyone.  Dedication!!

The Westermark family successfully completed the family activity, which will allow the impact of the weekend to continue in their home.

The unusual shape of this pool provided for many creative games and fun really was had by all.

We ventured to the Nubble Lighthouse in the frigid cold and were rewarded with this great view of it.

All too quickly, we were driving back to Bedford on Monday, Martin Luther King Day, but would sleep in our beds for only 3 nights before heading out for parts northwest. And that was a 33% increase of what had been planned! Originally we were to have been home Tuesday for counseling and then leave for Washington state on Wednesday, but the arrival of another N'oreaster caused our Wednesday morning flight to be canceled. So, we had a true snow day and flew to Washington on Thursday. That seemed like a gift at that point, as we had been wondering aloud, “Who schedules our life?!?” No buck passing here . . . we swear to our own hurt.  :)

We thoroughly enjoyed the unexpected day at home and felt very ready Thursday to hop on a flight to Seattle and make the drive to Moses Lake where we spoke at the ministerial association’s "couples night out" that evening.  How we've grown to love our partnership with Moses Lake over the years!  This night reminded us of how much health there is in an area when pastors unify for the cause of the gospel and partner rather than compete.  It was in our heart to encourage them as pastoral couples to tend to their marriages, which can so easily be neglected due to the tyranny of the urgent which is part and parcel of the demanding nature of ministry. 

The Moses Lake Ministerial Association’s couples' dinner gave a shot in the arm to these ministry couples.

Friday we drove to Clearwater Lodge at Camp Spaulding in Newport, WA (just north of Spokane). Speaking for the Moses Lake Alliance Church marriage conference is like having a family reunion, having now partnered with this group five times over the past seven years.  Our hearts for this group are very deep and we consider it a great privilege to be on the journey with them.  Kent and Staci Copley facilitate the conference and do that so well. The weekend was blessed in every way. One person wrote, "We cannot express what a blessing you are to our marriage & for your friendship. Such a very short fellowship but a sweet time. LOVE you guys!"

The Moses Lake Alliance Church annual marriage conference.

One of the highlights of being in Moses Lake is being able to hang out with the Copleys and their precious daughters Tori and Britni. We love this family! Their friendship is one of the rich dividends of this itinerate ministry. It always feels like the time is too short.  Another highlight happened while we were at the conference: Paul's first cousins Bob and Chris Clark came to spend the day with us.  They live in Spokane, where both teach at Whitworth College.  It had been years, and we so enjoyed renewing our relationship.

Paul's first cousin Bob Clark and his wife, Chris, joined us for a day at the conference.

Early Monday, we drove to Seattle and had the sweetest 30-minute visit with Richard Dahlstrom at a coffee shop along the road.  Speaking of time that's too short . . .

We treasure our friendship with Richard Dahlstrom and were thankful for even a 30-minute rendezvous along highway 90.

The balance of the day was spent with our long time friends and co-authors (of the book Restoring the Fallen) Earl and Sandy Wilson. Reconnecting for the first time in three years, we shared joys and trials, updates on family, and vision for the future. We are so grateful that the Wilsons are in our lives. They remind us that God is in the business of restoration and He is our hope. We celebrated so many stories of redemption that God is producing through their story of redemption. This is the gospel.

Our "nightcap" was sharing a cup of coffee at Starbucks with Hannah and MaryAnn Bastedo and Rachel Weeks, three dear-to-our-heart CBS staff girls who are attending Seattle Pacific University.  So happy to get to see them even briefly!

Back to New England the next day . . . just in time for another storm.  :)  Though some may find this unbelievable, we were thrilled to be home for another big storm.  Honestly. We were so thankful that our previously scheduled ministry tour to Trinidad (originally scheduled for Thursday through Tuesday) was postponed until May so we were able to be home to enjoy this storm which dumped 12" on snow on our town.  We really did enjoy being figures in a snow globe, burning Devlin-donated firewood in our wood-burning stove, and sorting through piles that had become mini-monuments to our neglect of such non-urgent matters. 

Paul obliged my desire to track the amount of snow as it fell on Feb. 4.  :)

Our dear friends Bill and Helen Challener also paid us a visit during this time, which was extended due to yet another storm. We were all happy!

Fortunately the weather wasn't a factor the following weekend, so Friday, Feb. 7, we drove down to Havre de Grace, Maryland, to speak for the Restore Church's first marriage conference.  Led by Jess and Elizabeth Bousa, Restore has existed for two years and already has grown to three sites. The message of hope they offer is reaching a population of those emerging from lives marked by significant brokenness.  It was truly a joy to minister to this very open, very hungry group of people.  The marriage conference, held Friday night and all day Saturday, went really well, as did the four church services we taught for Satruday night and Sunday morning.  We overnighted with my sister Laura and her husband, David, in northern Virginia before driving home Monday.  Great trip.

Jess and Elizabeth Bousa are pouring their hearts and souls into Restore Church in Havre de Grace, Maryland.

We were home only one day before commencing on this trip: I'm wrapping up this blog from sunny California, and we're not only not in Uganda anymore, but we're clearly not in Bedford either. As our hometown gets hit by yet another winter storm, we're walking in shorts in California. And having snow-envy, quite honestly.  

This trip will be the subject of the next blog, so for now, I'll sign off.  

  

2014: Off and running!

The New Year snuck in when we weren't looking, it seems.  Far from Times Square, fireworks, First Night, and toasting with Mom's homemade egg nog or Martinelli's sparkling cider, we slept long before the ball dropped on Dec. 31.  That's partly due to having a 5-month-old in the house, and a much larger part having to do with being in Mbale, Uganda, as the calendar page turned for the last time in 2013 and the first time in 2014. There were no fireworks or loud parties, but many prayer meetings.  All night prayer meetings.  And every conversation with a Ugandan since has begun with, "Happy New Year."  They weren't ignoring the new year.  They just have a different view of how to usher it in. Food for thought.

With more than half the days of the first month of this new year gone already, tonight we will spend the first night in our own home in 2014.  

And in the month since we were last home, more than we could possibly process has happened.

Christmas, my dad's death and burial, and almost 3 weeks in Uganda.  Time with friends, extended family, and all our children and grandchildren.  Traveling from Boston to Santa Clarita, California, to San Diego, to Uganda, and back to Boston.  Celebrating, grieving, contemplating.  Being where we felt we should be, but wishing we could be in at least two places at once.

The new year is off and running.

We arrived in Uganda on December 28, with colliding emotions of delight in being with Derek, Julie, and Nathan, and grief in having just buried my dad.  We were wiped out emotionally and physically when we landed in Entebbe and were so thankful for the first few unscheduled days during which we had the luxury of napping when needed, going to bed early, and having our hearts brightened by Nathan’s light-up-the-world smiles.  Walks, talks, and yummy meals filled those first days and it was just what we needed.  Derek and Julie's hospitality was therapeutic.

We marked New Year's Day by meeting with a group of muzungu (white) missionaries who live in Mbale to discuss marriage and family issues. These perennially challenging relationships have taken a huge toll on missionary families, and half of those attending that day have been on the field 6 months or less, so we were making a pre-emptive strike at their invitation. It was low-key but important, and feedback confirmed that the time was well spent.  

Friday, Jan. 3, began a two-day H.I.M.-sponsored marriage training retreat in the nearby town of Tororo.  Recommended by the very pastors who attended the pastor's conference we hosted last March, this group of men and women have been doing some modicum of marriage/family ministry in their churches and were eager for more training.  Twenty-six couples took copious notes, asked questions, and joined the discussion on these important topics.  It was a very beneficial time.

The group of pastors and lay people who attended the marriage training retreat at the Prime Hotel in Tororo.

While they all stayed at the Prime Hotel in Tororo for Friday night, we returned to Mbale (about an hour away) so Paul could speak to a 6 a.m. men's breakfast on Saturday.  The sacrificed sleep seemed "worth it" based on the positive response of the men.  Back to Tororo we drove to begin around 9 a.m. and we ended by 4 in the afternoon.  

Sunday we worshiped at Pearl Haven and Paul had the honor of joining Pastor Wilberforce in dedicating Nathan during the first service. It was really moving to hear the all-African congregation respond to their charge to stand with Derek and Julie is raising him for Christ.  At the end of the dedication, Wilberforce spontaneously led the congregation in singing "How Great Thou Art", which was my father's favorite hymn and which had been sung at his memorial service just days before.  When we told him that afterwards, he said it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit to sing it and now he knew why.  It was a very tender moment.

Wilberforce and Sarah pray over Nathan at his dedication.

Monday evening, the 6th, we had a reunion of the pastors who had attended the marriage retreat in March.  Held at the Mt. Elgon Hotel, our speaking was followed by a yummy buffet featuring local cuisine. The evening provided a wonderful forum for reconnecting and sharing ideas.  All agreed that the retreat was having continuing positive effects on them. Thank you, H.I.M. family and donors, by helping to make that happen!

Next up was a three-day marriage seminar hosted by Pearl Haven Christian Center held from 2-5 pm on  Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons.  Admittedly, we were somewhat skeptical whether anyone would come to a mid-week afternoon conference, and by 2:30 pm on Wednesday afternoon our skepticism has increased, since only a few dozen people were there.  But, amazingly, by 3 pm the place was fairly full with over 200 attending.  All three days were very well attended, great questions were asked, and the conference culminated with Friday's topic on marital sexuality.  By all accounts, it was the first time such a presentation had been given in Mbale and the questions it generated were overwhelming.  Pastor Wilberforce wrapped it up at the end by beginning with a confession.  He asked for forgiveness on behalf of the evangelic pastors of the region for failing to teach them God's design for sexuality and for abdicating this critically important matter to culture, which had only served to feed distortions, exploitations, and shame.  It was a powerful moment.  

The 3-day marriage and family seminar at Pearl Haven Christian Center drew a crowd of about 250 interested and interactive folks.

I think what struck us most was how hungry for truth these precious people were.  Most of the Biblical churches seem to do a good job of teaching the Word in most areas, except as applied to marriage and family matters, and most notably, sexuality.  We prayed to teach in a way that was truthful and yet sensitive to the nature of the subject, especially when teaching to an audience that had no rubric for Biblical understanding.  Their response was incredible, revealing their longing to know how to square what they knew and felt with the reality of God's design.  We literally could've gone on for days. Our prayer is that God will empower the pastors and teachers to move beyond their own "stuckness" to lead their flocks.  Please join us in praying for that.

Pastor Wilberforce was so grateful for the 3-day conference and felt it was very, very impactful.  We pray that it was and is.

We also had the privilege of speaking at chapel for the CURE hospital staff on Thursday and Friday mornings.  Parenting was the focus of both mornings, with us presenting material Thursday and then responding to questions posed on Friday. Once again, we just loved our time with this incredibly faithful and sacrificial group of people and were impressed with the diversity of questions they asked.  Some were similar to questions we get from any western audience, and some reflected the vast cultural differences.  

At CURE Children's Hospital, after chapel, we visited with Sister Florence (next to Julie), the director of nursing, and with Grace, one of the wonderful nurses.

Our "rest" day Saturday started with brunch at the Johnsons’ with friends and ended with dinner with another set of friends, who had us to their place.  We love getting to know the people in Derek and Julie's world!

Paul preached powerfully at Pearl Haven on Sunday at both services.  African churches are alive. They worship with everything they've got and they treat the sermon as a conversation. It's really quite refreshing!!  Preaching out of Acts 3, Paul painted a vision of hope for the way God wants to meet us, abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine. Many could relate to the low hopes of the lame beggar by the pool Beautiful—a few coins would've satisfied him for the moment. But God had so much more for him as He brought healing to his limbs so he could walk and leap and praise God. Paul told them that God wanted to heal their paralysis, in whatever form it took, so that they too would walk and leap and praise Him.  The presence of the Lord was palpable.

After the first service at Pearl Haven, we stand with Dr. Peter Sinonga, one of the pediatric neurosurgeons at CURE and an elder at Pearl Haven.

We left immediately from church and headed to Kampala with Pastor Wilberforce to speak at a couples' event that evening at the Hotel Africana.  A buffet dinner was followed by an hour-long presentation on marriage, and when we finished, we were reminded that we weren't in America.  The attendees expressed dismay that that was all we were giving them.  I don't ever remember feeling that way when we finish a talk in the U.S.!  They clearly wanted to hear more and insisted that we commit to returning to do a full marriage conference the next time we're in country.  :)

Some of those who attended the couples "date" night at the Hotel Africana in Kampala. On the far left is Pastor Tom and his wife Betty, who organized the event.

Back to Mbale we drove on Monday.  I say that so casually, as though it's a “walk in the park” because, after all, it's only 137 miles and according to Google maps takes “3 hrs 3 mins.”  It's clear to me that whoever posted that information has never driven it.  Good paved roads exist for a good portion of it, but serious speed bumps slow you down to a crawl as you pass through each town center, and where the paving has gone the way of all unmaintained paving, the experience switches to off-roading on the road.  Add in to that the traffic, especially in the Kampala area, and the “3 hrs 3 mins” prediction switches to 5 hrs 5 mins.

Unless you break down, and this we did.  Just outside of Iganga, still 1 hr 40 mins from Mbale, the car broke down—and for the next 2 hours we watched in utter amazement as the car was repaired, Ugandan-village style.  Wilberforce talked to someone close to where we were stranded, expressing our need for a mechanic.  Off someone ran on foot to fetch him, and he came running to the car within 10 minutes, toting a well-worn tool box.  Within 30 minutes, he had diagnosed the problem (a frozen tension pulley) and replaced the ball bearings.  Looked like we'd be on the road shortly, until he tried to put the belt back on.  He had NO idea how to do that and since no manual could be found, a growing group of at least six men (including our two pastors, Wilberforce and Paul) were stymied.  As we were beginning to lose heart over our diminishing time with the Johnsons, who were awaiting our mid-afternoon return to their home, two muzungu missionary friends (driving home from Jinja) happen to spot us on the side of the road and stopped to help.  One of them called her husband with the make and model of the car, and he accessed the Internet which gave him a diagram of the "path of the belt" and within 20 minutes we were back in business.

When are 3 heads better than the Internet?  Maybe never...

Our rescuers, Christine Weber and Diana Tuninga, missionary friends from Mbale. Thank the Lord for technology!!

Almost.  As they drove off, Wilberforce tried to start the car, but because the belt had slipped and therefore not driven the alternator, the battery was very dead. No worries. Someone ran off to get a car to jump ours, and we watched with fascination as the men "jumped" the car without jumper cables. Who needs 'em?  Not these guys: with two metal rods, they connected the posts, and holding on to them, successfully jumped the car.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" — although I suspect the steel rods pre-dated jumper cables.  :)

50,000 shillings later (translated: $20 U.S.) for the part, the repair, and the jump, we were on our way.

That stimulated Paul's thinking about some of the advantages of living in Uganda.  :)

Our last two full days came all too quickly and we squeezed everything we could out of them.  Walks. Talks. More great meals.  (If Derek ever decides to quit his day job, he could definitely be a personal chef.)  Packing.  Sorting.  Saying good-bye.  

Thursday morning we left Mbale around 8:30 am. And then Friday evening at 10 pm Mbale time, we arrived home (that would be 2 pm EST).  It's quite a journey, as we drove to Entebbe (arriving at 3 pm, at little more than the 3 hr 3 mins prediction); flew out to Addis Ababa at 5:25 arriving at 7:30; left Addis at 10 pm, stopped for fuel in Rome some time (no de-planing) and continued on to Dulles Airport in D.C., arriving at 8 am EST (4 pm in Mbale).  After going through customs and cooling our jets in the United lounge (love the perks of flying a lot), we caught a flight at noon to Boston and landed around 2 pm.  Home by 3.  Bed by 9.  

We will be processing all of this for a time to come, but for now, we feel very blessed and thankful. What a privilege to experience Christ in a developing country, with folks whose hearts for the Lord challenge ours.  It's so easy to be distracted as an American Christian and to become dependent on a life of convenience, independence, and indulgence.  

None of those things are a part of life for most Ugandans.  Nothing is convenient.  No one is independent.  And indulgences are few.  And yet their fervor for Christ is contagious.  Their hope and their joy is in Him and in Him alone.  

Each time we come back home, we're different.  We're certainly not cured of our love for convenience, our independence, or our indulgences, but we can sense their grip is loosening on us after each visit.

Maybe even our running will slow . . . at least a bit.

Our parting shot of Derek, Julie, and Nathan . . . So thankful for them!!

2013: Now History

We're sitting in the United Lounge at Dulles Airport, 4 hours shy of 35 hours in transit from Uganda to Boston on this 17th day of January.  We've been on the road since Dec. 17, on a journey which has taken us through Christmas, my father's death and funeral, and 19 days ministering in Uganda.  It seems like a lifetime has happened since this trip commenced!

I had intended to blog about the first couple of weeks of December prior to my dad's unexpected-but-not-surprising death, but didn't get to it before he passed.  It feels incomplete to not mention our wonderful annual visit to St. Louis the first weekend in December to hang out with the precious Williams family.  Oh my!!  It's hard to believe that these little girls, who were 2 and under (and Baby was non-existent) when we met in 1998, are all hovering around 6' tall and are beautiful young teen-age women.  We baked, ate, toured a local village to see gingerbread creations, and caught up with one another in our brief 3-day visit.  Though time is never enough, we are so thankful for this continuing tradition and more thankful to see this family growing in Christlikeness and making a difference all around them for Him.

Celebrating with Grant and Emily Williams, and daughters Meegan, Madeline, and Sarah Elizabeth.

The following week we wrapped up our Patriot studies.  We had a truly sweet time of closure with the women on Wednesday morning and we all agreed that doing What's It Like Being Married to Me by Linda Dillow had been very impacting.  I love these women.  It was such a delight to meet with them all season.  On Thursday night we wrapped up the couples' study and celebrating seeing growth in a number of couples' this fall.  Nothing about the evening went exactly as planned: terrible traffic delayed our arrival (and with us, several side dishes for dinner) by almost an hour, and we realized only as we assembled the gift bags for each couple once down there that we had forgotten the jars of homemade raspberry jam at our house—but the party went on.  We got out of the "jam" the next day when Paul drove south to visit Thora Eames and I suppose "all's well that ends well" applies here.

The Patriots women's study on a baking workshop day.

Our final night of the couples' study, missing a few of the "regulars."  Great group!!

We were gifted with a huge snow storm that weekend, which made staying home PERFECT as I sewed, baked, wrapped, and mailed in preparation for Christmas.  It stopped early enough on Sunday so we could join the Armenian community at the Belmont church honor and send off Greg and Sossi Haroutunian to their new church assignment in Fresno.  We adore this family and will miss them in New England, but bless their westward migration as they return to Greg's roots and family.

True conversation:  Virginia:  "What's not to love about snow?"  Paul:  "Shoveling, maybe?"  :)

It was a mad scramble to the last minute to get off on the 17th as we were preparing for Christmas in California followed by 2.5 weeks in Uganda.  What we didn't know then was that we would also be preparing for my father's death and funeral in that time period.  It's always good to be reminded that God wasn't taken by surprise, and we were so very aware that His grace was very apparent in how everything unfolded.

Our days in California up until the 23rd were delightful in every way as we hung with Gabe, Kari, Brandon, Ana, and Lisa.  No big "to do" lists which had driven the days at home.  No overly ambitious plans.  Just a lot of enjoying being together, playing, baking, a bit of shopping, and lots of being. Having children both slows things down and speeds things up in a funny mix.  And our two-day celebration of Christmas at Garcias' house on the 24th and 25th were full of joy.  Nothing like Christmas with a 3-year-old.  I'll treasure the look on Brandon's face when he discovered Baby Jesus in the manger Christmas morn.  It was also priceless to hear him exclaim, "This is just what I wanted!" upon opening most every one of his gifts.  :)  Very sweet.

Brandon finding Baby Jesus in the manger Christmas morning.

  

So fun being together in our matching jammies.

  

This puts a wrap on 2013.  It was a year in which a lot of family and ministry history was made. Garcias relocated to Santa Clarita.  Lisa moved to California.  Derek and Julie had their first child. Gabe and Kari had their second. My father passed away.  The Marriage App was birthed.  Several of our books became ebooks.  We were on the road four times as much as we were home.

As we look ahead, we wonder what God has in store.  Much of what happened last year was unknown when 2013 turned its first page.  The "what" will happen is still hidden, but thankfully, the "Who's got it under control" isn't.  We enter 2014 with confidence that He goes before us and that His mercies will be new every morning.

How good to rest in His faithfulness.

Tribute to a Truly Great Man

RADM Frank Charles Collins, Jr., USN, ret. October 29, 1927 – December 23, 2013

My last blog post, in early December, focused on thanksgiving and legacy, highlighting the rich heritage we have in our families of origin.  At that time, we had no idea that my dad's days on earth would expire less than three weeks later. But God did. And we have seen His gracious hand in the unfolding events of this past week in an unmistakable way.

After a ten year battle with dementia, my sweet Papa breathed his last on December 23 at 2:05 p.m. As only God could've orchestrated, we were with him, as were all of our immediate family except Derek, Julie, and Nathan.  (There were also numerous other family members there, including of course his beloved bride of 65.5 years, who never left the chair next to the sofa upon which he died)  as well of 5 of his 7 children.  We had gone to San Diego as scheduled for two days of Christmas with them Dec. 22, arriving an hour before he opened his blue eyes for the last time and 24 hours before he breathed his last.  Two days earlier, he was eating normally and maintaining status quo.  His rapid decline began Saturday morning and he was gone Monday early afternoon.  So much mercy in him not lingering when it was apparent he was "done" on earth. 

This week has been filled with a gamut of emotions, for sure.  In his very compromised condition, we all knew that death would surely be gain for him and we wanted that for him.  And for us, because we knew he was going to the arms of his deeply loved Heavenly Father, his death held no fear, dread, or uncertainty.

It just held deep sorrow as we said good-bye to one who has so impacted our lives.  The day that we wanted/didn't want had come.  Though comforted by the belief that this death will separate us only temporarily, it's still really hard to bury one who has your heart in a way few others do.  And, unequivocally, the second most important man in my life. 

There are so many ways my dad has influenced who I am.  Because our temperaments are similar, we have shared a natural bend in doing life.  Besides that, we shared common interests in so many areas: from our love of the outdoors—hiking, camping, swimming, running, biking—to our love for reading, writing, and speaking; we also shared our love for order, organization, stewardship, and maintenance.  But our bond runs much deeper than these temporal features could facilitate.

I think that bond was forged because of who he was "when no one was looking." His character proved his core values.  He could be trusted because his walk matched his talk.

Only retrospectively am I able to see that his commitment to being a man of standing, a faithful husband, and father was core to my feeling safe, secure, and well-loved as a child.  Generational blessings.  Such a gift!

The two best gifts he gave me were his love for Christ and his love for my mom.  His love for Christ was real.  It informed all of his lifestyle choices and priorities.  He loved God's word and committed much of it to memory.  He loved the church and was committed to being involved in it as well as serving it.  He was an authentic follower of Christ.

The other treasured gift I cherish is how he loved my mom (and admittedly this was a two-way street — Mom adored her Frank!)  He loved her well, sacrificially, adoringly, and with a servant-heartedness not often seen.  He loved her up close and he loved her from afar.  He helped to make her radiant.

And to the end of his 86 years on earth, he loved her and she him.  Amazingly, in spite of the dementia, he never ceased to express love and familiarity to his bride.  Surely the way she so sacrificially loved him these last years facilitated their lifelong bond.

These two gifts are truly what helped to make the gospel real to me as a child growing up in this home. Our home was far from perfect, with varying amounts of sibling rivalry, financial pressures, and the exhausting demands of running a household of 9.  But, I truly never questioned the veracity of the Gospel, because through whatever came our way, our parents lead us back to the Cross.  We prayed. We searched scripture.  We believed that God was who He said He was, and we lived backwards of that truth. We confessed and we forgave.  And we forged ahead.

I will forever be grateful to have been blessed to have had the parents I had.   Though I will miss my father deeply, what he gave me through his life will continue to influence how I live my life.  And I will look forward to spending eternity with him when my days on life are done.

A memorial service to celebrate his life was held Dec. 26th at the Veterans Museum and Memorial Center in Balboa Park, San Diego, California.  The comments I made in honor of my dad can be read here.

Mardi Gras 1947.  Dating, but not married until August 16, 1948.

The Captain and his crew: six "gulls" and a "buoy" around 1966.  Mom made those matching dresses out of raw silk Papa brought home from one of his cruises.  She dyed the off-white silk red to make it appropriate for Christmas.  No explanation for the drapes.

Navy Ball, circa late 1970's

The original 7 with Queen Esther after the memorial service held Dec. 26, 2013

Around 2000: a sweet visit with Grandpa and Grandma at their home in Alexandria, VA.

Legacy of Thanksgiving

November has always been one of my favorite months and this one we've just turned the page on is no exception. Ushered in by the waning days of fall and ending by catapulting us into my favorite season of the year—Christmas—it's not a stretch to understand my affinity for this eleventh month of the calendar year.

But it's more than that.  And last week's Thanksgiving Day celebration helped to clarify why this month is so important and meaningful to me.  Well beyond the glory of fall with its captivating moments of observing castaway leaves dancing in the currents of winds, crispness due to falling air temps, and the increasingly pressing awareness of the diminishing days that stand between now and the celebrated birth of the Christ Child, November reminds us to be thankful.

Though it shouldn't be that way, it is.  It's so easy to live entitled rather than grateful in America.  The simple things—like food, shelter, and freedom to worship—are hardly occasion for thankfulness.  We “deserve” those things.  The occasions for genuine gratitude are reserved for really big things we don't deserve . . . like winning the lottery or the World Series.

This month reminds us that being thankful is really, really important to God.  "In everything give thanks . . . for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."  (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

I've pondered how a thankful heart is cultivated, since this is "the will of God"—making it much more than a suggestion or a good idea when you want to feel better.  

And that's where legacy comes in.  Though not the only factor, it is a significant contributor towards our hearts being inclined towards entitlement or gratitude.

We've both reflected especially this month how profoundly we have been influenced by parents who loved the Lord above all else and who modeled thankfulness. Who taught us to appreciate the small things and to not take them for granted. Who showed us through example that giving to and serving others would produce more joy than living self-indulged lives. Who lived sacrificially and responsibly, who worked hard and made no excuses, who loved one another faithfully and prioritized their family.

A sweet but short visit with my parents reinforced the goodness of being with ones who truly have hearts of gratitude.

On the family farm in Pixley for Thanksgiving Day, we were with four of the five original Friesen siblings and some of their progeny. It was easy to reflect on our heritage with such gratitude for the values Paul's parents instilled in their family.

As life moves on, our awareness of the rarity of this kind of legacy grows.  And that deepens our gratitude and compels us to pass the mantle to the next generation, whose challenge to live this out is greater than ever.  Our prayer is that we would cultivate thankful hearts year round, 24-7.  That will contribute greatly to our growing Christlikeness.

We've had a great month, which has included time together in three states and four countries.  And, Paul has been in an additional 12 states on his own, and no, he's not running for office.  And we've relaxed.  And been renewed.  This is how:

We spent the first week of the month celebrating my birthday and the Patriots’ bye week on a Caribbean cruise.  There were many firsts for us on that cruise, including having our minds changed about cruises in general.  Naturally, we got a great "couldn't pass up" deal and spent 7 days resting, relaxing, enjoying the beauty of the Caribbean, reconnecting with each other, and eating delicious food. We got a lot of exercise, basked in the majesty of His creation, and were renewed.  It was a wonderful gift.  We also met a couple on the tender going to port on Grand Cayman Island, and we clicked immediately.  We ended up spending our day with them, making an unforgettable excursion to Stingray City together.  We are looking forward to continuing the relationship.  

Leaving Tampa on the first day of the cruise, we had no idea how many delights the Lord had in store for us on this cruise!

On the ministry front, we had a great Engagement Matters weekend, Nov. 16-17, and spoke at the Arabic Evangelical Baptist Church of Boston for an evening of marriage and family encouragement during that same weekend.  It was a true delight to partner with Pastor Khaled Ghobrial and his wife and to get a glimpse into the relevant work this church is engaged in.  The New England Patriot studies have been going well and have been well attended.  We have seen God work through our counseling in moments of breakthrough and hope.  We also had the privilege of doing two chapels for the UCLA women's basketball team during a recent tournament.

Standing with Pastor Khaled Ghobrial and his wife, Manal, after speaking on family and marriage to their congregation.

A highlight of the month was hosting Pastor Wilberforce Okumu, lead pastor of Pearl Haven Christian Center in Mbale, Uganda.  He was the featured speaker for an H.I.M. donor thank you dessert evening and knocked it out of the park. Everyone was inspired by the work he's engaged in and his vision for the Kingdom.  We loved having him in our home for a few days as well.  Partnering with him in Mbale these past couple of years has bonded us in Christ and we love his heart!

Nov. 14th was a significant day for Home Improvement Ministries as we launched our first software app:  "The Marriage App."  After months of development primarily by Doug Macrae and assisted by Guy and Barbara Steele and Richard Hendricks, the app (based on our newest book, The Marriage App) hit cyberspace with the aid of tweets by Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Richard Dahstrom, Shaunti Feldhahn, Don Davis, Gary Gaddini, Ray Johnston, and David Hegg (to name a few).  Along with lots of Facebook traffic, the app soared to the top of the list of new apps on marriage downloaded over the weekend of  Nov 15-17.  We have been humbled by emails and Facebook posts which have affirmed the value of this app and are praying that God will use it to give hope to marriages and contribute to them thriving.  If you haven't downloaded this free app yet, we'd encourage you to do so at the App Store.

Most recently, we flew back out to California for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Well, I flew out.  In order to visit those additional 12 states I mentioned, Paul decided to deliver the used van that Gabe and Kari bought from (east coast) friends of ours, making his second cross-country road trip in 2 months time. Confirming his introversion, he loved every minute of it and made this trip between Friday morning the 22nd and Sunday night the 24th. He's amazing.  

Our days in California included some time with Gabe, Kari, Brandon, and Ana in their home in Santa Clarita; attending a UCLA vs. OK women's basketball game to watch the athletic trainer (the game was great, too: a big upset victory for UCLA!); visiting my folks and sisters in San Diego with Lisa and then Paul; sweet visits with two other special families to welcome newborns; and a short but wonderful time in Pixley for Thanksgiving Day with Paul's extended family. In between all those visits, we managed to walk to the setting and rising sun on various California beaches.  Heavenly.

UCLA Head Women's Basketball Coach, Cori Close, with me and her parents, Don and Pat Close, and her sister Amity Wicks, in Pauley Pavillion following the UCLA win over OK.  GREAT family.

We flew to Florida on Black Friday, missing the shopping and the crowds, but making it just in time to see UCLA women play in the Gulf Coast BB Tournament.  Though disappointing results on the court (we went 1-2), Paul and I loved being with the girls and the staff and feel we have such a better understanding of Lisa's new life in California.  Many in the system are coaching or playing for more than just records, and their hearts for the Lord are obvious.  They are struggling currently with a depleted team due to injuries, but the month ahead should see their bench increasing.  We are so thankful Lisa is part of this effort.

While in Florida, we also managed to walk a few beaches and to visit our dear friends Don and Yannette Davis, who extended warm hospitality to us as we concluded this all-over-the-place trip.

One last walk on the beach (Siesta Beach near Sarasota, Florida) before returning to Boston.

Though the delights this month have been many, the sorrows have also been present.  We've walked with several dear friends through the deaths of beloved parents and with couples through marital and family crises.  Life is often hard; sometimes because of choices we've made, but other times just because we live in a broken world and sin and evil takes its toll on all of us.  And death is a reality that no one escapes.  Each time death steals away one we love or one loved by ones we love, we are reminded in grief that we weren't designed for death and therefore it will always be excruciatingly painful.  

That's why the 1 Thessalonians passage says "In everything give thanks . . ." not "for everything give thanks."  There are many things we can't give thanks FOR, but we're called to give thanks IN.  

A very dear friend who lost her father and her mother-in-law within the space of 9 days this month, both unexpectedly, wrote:

Hello Friends,

It feels like I am writing from within a nightmare. We are working through the loss of my dear mother-in-law, and figuring out how we will care for my sweet father-in-law. These have been dark days, to say the least. 

This afternoon my father died suddenly at his home in New Hampshire. I am on my way there now to be with my sisters and my mother.  I have not yet told my children, and my sisters have not yet told my mother. Please pray for each of these situations, as they will be profoundly difficult conversations.

I want each of you to know how grateful we are for your love and support this last week. You have each pressed love into us and have been a source of strength and comfort.

I have been listening to a lot of music this week.  A song that I have come to love, "You Are Good" by Nichole Nordeman has these beautiful lyrics:

  When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul, You are so good
  When the world is gone gray and the rain's here to stay You are still good
  So with every breath I take in I'll tell You I am grateful again
  And the storm may swell, even then IT IS WELL and you are good.

It is well and God is good.

This friend is living in gratitude and passing on to her children a legacy of thanksgiving.  In the midst of deep and dark unexpected valleys, her comfort and source of gratitude is found in Him.  She is teaching all of us profound lessons.

In the month ahead, we will all experience the gamut of emotions, from the pinnacle of joy found in revisiting the manger, to the depths of despair as pain past and present weaves its darkness into our awareness.  Praying that especially in the moments of sorrow, we'll find our way to the cross and "in everything, give thanks."  That's the best legacy we can pass on.

Nathan at 2 months . . .

. . . and at 4 months.

Brandon (3 years) and Ana (4 weeks)

Feeling the love

Hard as it was to leave 2-week-old Ana and 3-year-old Brandon (and their parents), I felt the love of God as I returned to New England and was met with the glorious colors of fall.  Most years the height of fall has passed by mid-October, and my only lament of being in California for the first two weeks of October was missing this annual "rite of leaf passage."  I was delightfully surprised to see that fall had "waited" for me, in a manner of speaking, and the past two weeks have showcased the brilliance of this spectacular season breathtakingly.  I am in awe at the majesty of creation!!

Besides the parade of the unfolding beauty of autumn, I returned to a "transformation" of several areas in our house, thanks to the very hard work of Paul (who returned a week earlier than I).  All a complete surprise to me, he had painted the kitchen (and changed the color from nondescript off-white to yellow!), had the kitchen floor refinished, scrubbed the soot-veiled walls of our Great Room, had the lighting fixtures changed, and polished the rest of the wood floors.  His consistent response to my "What are you up to?" calls from California was "Just preparing for our West Point retreat"  and began to raise my suspicion, but not enough to make me wonder much beyond that.  Imagine my surprise to discover all of these "acts of service" expressions of love in the wee hours of Wednesday, Oct. 16, just after landing back in Boston.  I was truly blown away. 

Besides all that, Paul spent a couple of days hosting Pastor Wilberforce Okumu, senior pastor of Pearl Haven Christian Center in Mbale, Uganda (the church Derek and Julie are part of).  Wilberforce was definitely wowed by the beauty of fall as well as the coastline of Cape May and his brief visit to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.  

On the same day I returned, Kim and Dave Noble (director of Campus By the Sea) checked in to our Bed and Breakfast for a few days.  I actually didn't lay eyes on them until Friday, as my first two days back home were crazy full.  Just hours after landing, I drove to Attleboro for the Patriots’ women study, followed by counseling appointments.  Admittedly it was hard to keep my eyes open at times.  Thursday was more of the same in reverse, with counseling in the  morning and early afternoon, and then off to Attleboro for the Patriots’ couples study.  Two full, productive days.

Over homemade pumpkin waffles and sizzling bacon, we spent several hours catching up with Dave and Kim before beginning our drive to West Point.  It was a great time with dear friends.

By noon, we were on the road to speak at Officers Christian Fellowship's fall retreat, focusing on developing God-honoring relationships.  Tom and Cheri Austin run the OCF program at West Point and it just happens that they are the parents of Thomas (and Margaret) Austin, who spent a year and change with the Patriots.  Thomas and Margaret are "all in" for Christ and were a integral part of the couples' study and women's study while in New England.  Tom and Cheri are also the parents of Jennifer Austin Foxworth, who is also "all in" for Christ and attended the military wives conference I spoke for in Oahu a couple of years ago.   Both of their children strongly recommended to their parents that they invite us to do a conference for the cadets.  The third vote came from Dennis Mansfield, who was at West Point with Tom Austin over 3 decades ago, so Tom and Cheri made it happen.  And we're so glad they did.

The retreat was held at St. Basil's Academy, a beautiful conference center on the Hudson River directly across from West Point.  So though close, it felt far away from campus.  The grounds were immense, providing a perfect outdoor sanctuary for everything from early morning quiet time to a rousing game of football or a roaring campfire at night to facilitate s'more making. Perfect weather made it impossible to stay inside the castle-esque main house during the day, except for during the program.  We spoke 4 different times on the over-arching theme of "Created for Relationship," progressing from our relationship with God (created for Him) to relationship with each other (created for community) and ultimately to relationship with one (created for marriage.)  

We loved the cadets.  They were bright, interactive, engaged, open, respectful, and fun.  We ate with different ones at each meal so by the time we left, three days later, we felt very connected with all of them.  We also felt very met by God.

A special bonus of our West Point weekend was that one of the cadets was Pierce Wasdahl.  Pierce's grandparents are Ken and Shirley Lincoln, long time friends and partners in ministry at CBS.  They served with Paul's parents on the original CBS Committee that "saved" CBS in 1968 from being turned back to the Catalina Island Conservancy.  Pierce's mom (and aunt and uncles) all served at CBS in our early years, and Pierce's brothers have continued the tradition.  It was such a joy to get to know Pierce and to see his genuine heart for the Lord.  The legacy continues.  "Great is Thy faithfulness."

Two of the other cadets were from California, and both were connected with good friends of ours.  Small world!

Another huge highlight of the weekend was having our first ever tour of West Point.  What beautiful grounds!  Cheri Austin did the honors and gave us many insights from one who was at West Point as a kid, then as a young wife, and now as a retired wife.  We loved every minute of it—with the small exception of seeing "BEAT NAVY" seemingly everywhere I looked.  :)  

Some days after the retreat, we were encouraged by the "After-Activity Reports" that Tom and Cheri sent us (commonly known as evaluations in the public sector).  Here are a few of the comments written in:  

This weekend God really impressed upon me how critical it is that I have an intimate relationship with him so that I can stand firm—fully dependent on Him. Having the Friesens, Austins, and Hamptons there was also so big because of the wisdom they gave us and the example they set for us. This weekend was such a blessing!

I thought the topic was great and the speakers did a really amazing job of communicating it to us. Relationship advice is something that people my age really crave, and the Friesens are probably the best people I’ve had advice from because they have 37 years’ experience in a godly marriage. They also made a point of sharing that their marriage wasn’t perfect, which was also refreshing to hear because it means that it is possible for others like me to work through challenges in my relationship. 

Yes, the topic of relationships is very applicable to our lives as we seek to grow closer to God and form godly relationships with both members of the same and opposite gender.  The speakers were outstanding! They were well-spoken, easy to understand, and fully of godly wisdom and advice. They did a great job showing the contrast between the way men and women think. I definitely learned a lot and will take the information forward with me. I better understand how God created us to be in relationships.

All praise is His.

Directly behind this photo of the cadets is West Point.

Tom and Cheri Austin are the directors of Officers Christian Fellowship at West Point. We march to the same drumbeat and drummer.

Our drive home was full of this kind of scenery.  We wouldn't have minded traffic!

We arrived home Monday night the 21st in time for a H.I.M. Board Meeting.  We are so grateful for our board. They work tirelessly to facilitate what we do.  Blessed.

Tuesday night we spoke at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, for the annual couples night hosted by the Seminary Wives class and Lita Schlueter.  To be honest, it's worth the drive up just to hang with Dan and Lita.  They are some of the most positive, upbeat, loving, godly people we know and we always consider it an honor to partner with them.  There was a great turn-out for the event and the time flew by as we addressed issues relevant to marriage and ministry.  Some important conversations followed, including one with a dear Korean couple who are interested in having us partner with their ministry in Korea.  That sounds exciting.

Here we are with Dan and Lita Schlueter.

Counseling, Patriots, and World Series games dominated the next few days, and then the weekend came.  Dr. Vita Stagno, the Sicilian pediatric neurosurgeon who stayed with us last fall for 2 months, came up from New York (where she is interning this fall) and my friend Helen came from upstate NY to have a fun girlfriends weekend.  Saturday was a blockbuster day, highlighted by enjoying the First Armenian Church of Belmont's annual fair, and though the homemade Armenian food was fabulous, the real treat was connecting with Greg and Sossi Haroutunian, friends and ministry partners for many years now.  It was extra meaningful to be with them, because they are moving to Fresno in late December to pastor a church, so many miles will separate us.  We were thrilled to receive a copy of our study guide, In Our Image:  Marriage as a Reflection of the Godhead, translated into Armenian!  Greg has done marriage conferences in Armenia the past two summers using this work.  So exciting!!!

A very happy reunion with Vita and Helen.

Dear friends Greg and Sossi Haroutunian at the Armenian festival.

Besides the festival, we headed into Boston to drop a care package off for a friend in the hospital and then introduce Vita and Helen to the Farmers Market at Quincy Marketplace.  So much local color!!!  Love it.  We rounded out the day at Tremont Temple to hear Steve Green in concert.  What a worshipful experience!  He has lost nothing since his prime in the late 80's and we enjoyed every minute of it.

While the girls were playing, Paul was working.  He spoke at the chapel for the Miami Dolphins Saturday night on the theme of finishing well.  :)

It's been a pretty exciting run in Boston for Red Sox Nation, so we're not only wearing red sox—everyone has red eyes.  :)  So many great life lessons from this season about team, perseverance, determination, overcoming.  We have loved every minute of the post season and feel these guys are more than deserving of this World Championship.

Representing the Red Sox in Mbale!

Great reports are coming in from Derek, Julie, and Nathan, though Africa seemed VERY far away at moments these past couple of weeks.  The Garcias are doing well and Baby Ana is "thriving."  Brandon still thinks she's the greatest.  And Lisa is getting more and more settled and is really happy that basketball season is now underway.  

Brandon and Ana are decked out for Halloween.  Looks like the pirate has a little captive.

Julie and Nathan ready to rock and roll.

Now 3 months old, Nathan continues to change daily.

And so does Ana, now 4 weeks old.

These have good weeks and we're so thankful for the many ways we've experienced His love, family love, and the love of many dear friends.

We hope you're feeling the love, too.

Season of Harvest

Welcoming Ana Marie Garcia, born Sept. 30, to Gabe and Kari and big brother Brandon.  She's 36 hours old in this photo.

The boys in the family are enamored with this little princess.

Tonight under a waxing-moonlit sky, I fly home from having spent the last two weeks in Santa Clarita, California, experiencing the wonder of birth for the second time in two months as we welcomed our first granddaughter, Ana Marie Garcia, into our family.  Gabe, Kari, and Brandon joyfully and thankfully expanded their hearts and threw open their arms to receive this  precious gift from above, delivered by c-section on Sept. 30.  Weighing in at 7#11oz, and measuring 20", Baby Ana is healthy and, two weeks in to her little life, is showing signs of thriving.

This is a season of harvest.

A baby changes our world once again.  In a most delightful way.

Paul and I are overwhelmed with gratitude to be witnessing the next generation developing before our very eyes and our hopes and prayers are caught up in the deepest desire of our hearts that these children will know of His great love for them and carry forth the legacy of faith to the generations that will come after them.

If you're following the sequence of events, it wasn't long after returning from speaking at Sandy Cove that we were in the air to California.  We did manage to squeeze in two days of counseling and the Patriots couples’ study as well as the women's study before we left.  And Paul did a couple of workshops at Berea's women's conference on Saturday the 28th.  He was the token male, and always appreciated.  We left town on Sunday the 29th and the past two weeks have been an “other world" experience.  

It was as though nothing else mattered outside of what was happening inside the walls of Gabe and Kari's home.  I know that plenty has been going on...in the world of politics (the government partial shutdown), and sports (go Pats and Sox), and in the lives of family and friends (we've lost two dear friends in the past week, both of whom valiantly waged battle with cancer and "lost" their earthly status while gaining their eternal home).  What consumed us night and day was getting to know and falling in love with this little 7# bundle of cuteness and supporting Gabe, Kari, and  Brandon's adjustment from a family of 3, to 4.  Nothing preempted that as our highest priority.  Daily I was reminded of God communicating with me soon after Nathan's birth in late July, about how He wants that kind of heart from me towards Him.  

Admittedly I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.  I'm reading Linda Dillow's Satisfy my Thirsty Soul book and workbook out of a desire to be consumed by Him.

Most of these days have been filled with cooking, cleaning, playing with Brandon, holding, rocking, changing, and loving on Ana, and making sure that Kari allows her body to recover from surgery.  I've loved every minute of it.  We've shared so many sweet moments.

Though random and few, we did connect with the outside world on several occasions.  Paul and I spoke on relationships to the college group at Grace Baptist Church when Ana was only 4 days old.  We LOVE speaking to college students and this was an eager, open group.  Really fun night.

Paul, Lisa, and I spent a long evening over dinner with the UCLA women's basketball's head coach, Cori Close, and that was a treat.  It was especially good to get a glimpse into Lisa's new world as athletic trainer to this team.  We also spent some time helping Lisa get more settled in her apartment and Paul did "manly" projects for her, much to her delight.

We managed a few in-house projects for the Garcias as well, including repainting and redecorating Brandon's room with Pottery Barn accessories purchased at a yard sale.  Very satisfying on so many levels!!

Paul returned to Boston the 7th of Oct. and I carried on without him in California.  We really did miss him.  Brandon and Papa have a very bonded relationship so it was a loss to send him off.  But life does go on, I guess.

Papa and Brandon visit the turtle and koi pond for a change of scenery from the hospital.

The last highlight of our time together was having my mom and two of my sisters come up from San Diego to Santa Clarita to meet Baby Ana.  Though obviously not an easy trip for my 83-year-old Mom to make, it meant the world to us that they would make such an effort! 

Great-Grandma Essie has always had a soft spot for babies, and babies for her.

Four generations of women.  What a privilege to share these moments.

Great-Grandma Essie, Auntie Lucy, and Auntie Missy paid a visit to meet Baby Ana, much to our delight.

It was really hard to leave the Garcias today, even though I have every confidence they'll do just fine on their own.  These are the times when the distance between us and our children seems so great; 3,000 miles from two of our grandchildren, and 7,000 miles from the third!  That makes us all the more grateful to have been so indulged with so  many sweet days shared with all these past 2.5 months.  

Derek, Julie, and Nathan are well settled in Mbale, Uganda, and Nathan is quite the Big Man On Campus at the CURE Hospital.  At 11 weeks, he's growing like a weed and is becoming very responsive.  His parents are having a blast with him.

Julie and Nathan check in from Uganda. We're loving watching this little guy grow via FaceTime and iPhoto.  Such a cutie!!

Lisa is continuing to make the adjustment to her new job and is enjoying herself more than not.  All reports from her supervisors are extremely positive.  That makes the challenges of long hours and crazy schedules much more palatable.  She's loving the much shorter commute from Sherman Oaks' apartment, but is missing living with the Garcias.

Auntie Leelee and Baby Ana: love at first sight.

  

We are really thankful for a good start to the Patriots’ studies.  After losing a number of our faithful during the off-season, we had no idea how this year would shape up—but we have a good group of old and new.  Pray that God will draw these players and their spouses to Himself in a deeper way. The women's group is going strong and we're all being convicted as we wrestle with very relevant issues stirred by Linda Dillow in her fabulous book What's It Like Being Married to Me.

These have been good change-of-pace weeks for us.  Though not "restful," they've given us time to be refreshed and to reflect.  We're so thankful for the H.I.M. Board which has given us so much latitude to structure our schedule as we have.  It's been a gift to be on the front lines of these major family milestones.

It is a very sweet season of harvest.

Summer's Grand Finale: Part 2

Summer has officially ended as the calendar indicates that we've marked the autumnal equinox this week.  Time relentlessly and hurriedly marches on, no matter how I will it to slow its cadence.  The month of September has almost entirely slipped away, and I don't know why that surprises me at all. But it does.

In the days following the end of family camp, we celebrated with Derek and Julie their 2nd anniversary (on Aug. 21), and Nathan's birth was celebrated by a group of "chosen family" friends who honored the Johnsons with a lovely baby shower.  Before the dust settled on either celebration, Derek flew east to Uganda and Julie, Nathan, and I flew west to California so Nathan could meet his great-grandparents before returning to Uganda.  Concurrently, Paul drove a U-Haul truck from Boston to Virginia to California to help complete Lisa's move to California, and we reunited in time to celebrate Paul's and Brandon's (3rd) birthdays.  

Barbara Steele and Kelly Plosker hosted the shower honoring Nathan and outdid themselves!

I've hinted at Lisa's big life change and will now "fill in the blanks."  After 5 wonderful years in Harrisonburg, Virginia, serving at James Madison University as an athletic trainer for women's soccer, she "threw her hat in the ring" when UCLA posted an opening for the head athletic trainer position for women's basketball.  Through a series of events that confirmed orchestration by God, she was offered the position in early June and moved her life to the greater Los Angeles area in early July.  Leaving a place you love and in which you're loved is never easy, but Lisa felt that God was definitely in this, so she pressed on.  The transition has had its challenges, but after two months of living "out of a suitcase" and fighting a long commute, she's now settled in an apartment in Sherman Oaks and is feeling more at home each week.  The silver lining of living out of a suitcase and commuting a long distance was living with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon during those weeks. They all loved that arrangement and had they been able to figure out a manageable commute to Westwood, they would've made it  a permanent living situation.  Lisa will steal away to Santa Clarita as often as possible.  

Lisa loves being an athletic trainer, but loves even more being an auntie to two adoring nephews.

Arriving at Gabe and Kari's house, all were ecstatic to see little Nathan at 4 weeks old.

"Papa" arrived just in time to celebrate his and Brandon's birthdays, after driving over 3,000 miles in a blissful state of introversion.  Just what he needed after 9 weeks straight of family camps.  :)

Brandon is 3!

Our days in California were so sweet.  Kari and Gabe hosted an open house to welcome Nathan which allowed many of the extended family to meet him.  Our weekend in San Diego held many precious moments as Great-Grandma Essie loved on Baby Nathan and Brandon, and a Labor Day picnic in the park facilitated a quasi-family reunion.  We cherish these opportunities to reconnect with those we love.

The Friesen family who made it to Gabe and Kari's open house/welcome-Nathan party enjoyed reconnecting.  So much fun!

Great-Grandma Essie loves holding her great-grandson.

Picnic at the park with the Collins extended family.  Perfect day for a mini-reunion!

We flew back to Boson on Sept. 6, within hours of Derek returning from Uganda, and another happy reunion was had.  For the past two weeks, we've squeezed everything we could out of the time we've had with the Johnsons.  Though much of the time was spent going to doctor's appointments and tying up loose ends (like procuring supplies and taking care of business), we managed to take walks almost daily and we made a couple of day trips to Maine and Cape Ann.  It's impossible to express how blessed we've been to have them in our home since early June and to share these precious first 8 weeks with Nathan. 

Enjoying an Indian Summer late September day in Gloucester.

A few other highlights of this past month include Paul speaking at Iron Sharpens Iron in Worcester on Aug. 24 with Dennis Rainey and a few others.  He was very well received and grateful for the honor of being part of that strategic men's ministry event.  We attended the beautiful, God-honoring wedding of Leslie Jamison and Eric Musser on Sept. 7, grateful to be in town for this gala event.  We spent a great "night on the town" with our dear friends John and Marilyn, who took us to see "Wicked" in Boston in honor of Paul's birthday.  We had a blast.  And finally, my youngest sister and her husband, Laura and David, spent the last week with us getting acquainted with their youngest great nephew before oceans and continents separate them.  We took full advantage of the Indian Summer weather and poked along the coastline by Rockport, Gloucester, and Manchester for a couple of days.  Loved every moment of their visit.

Uncle David and Aunt Laura can't get enough of their great-nephew.

Shortly after taking the Johnsons and their luggage to the airport and exchanging tearful farewells, we headed to Pennsylvania to speak at the Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church and then to Sandy Cove to speak at the Atlantic region BIC Pastors’ Conference.  It was an honor to join with this very committed group of pastors and spouses and our time together was rich.  

The airport scene: all 8 pieces of luggage and Mom, Dad, and baby made it safely to Uganda.

The Atlantic Region Brethren in Christ Pastors and spouses conference held at Sandy Cove Conference Center in Maryland.

We drove in from this conference last night, and it seemed unnatural to walk in to an empty, dark, quiet house; it’s in this state for the first time since early June!  The reality finally hit that our kids are back in Africa (they safely arrived Monday night.)  No more early morning snuggles with our little Nathan or walks in the stroller.  At least not until the end of December, when we'll journey to Uganda to do some continuing marriage ministry.  Though the sadness is palpable on some levels, I'm more overwhelmed by the gift of having such a generous amount of time with them.  It was amazing to be undaunted by the growing piles of mail and layers of dust, by the tasks undone and the disheveled state of the house, as we embraced the fleeting moments of this unique time with them.  The stitchery which hung in our nursery back in 1980 reminds us:  "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow, for babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.  So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."  

It's true that babies don't keep, but memories do and we're treasuring the memories we've accumulated over this beyond-our-expectations summer.  We're pressing forward into a fall full of opportunities, hope, and promise, with long, lingering looks over our shoulder at crystallized moments of God's unmistakable and unmerited favor to us.

Let fall begin.

Summer's Grand Finale (part 1)

Our official working summer ended with a bang:  two packed-out weeks of family camps at Camp Berea, on Newfound Lake in New Hampshire.  A stalwart group of tired staff (who had just invested 7 weeks at Campus by the Sea) and an even tired-er leader, Paul, boarded flights at LAX Saturday night, August 3, "red-eyeing" it to Boston in time to launch two weeks of H.I.M. family camps.  Though not our preference, the way the calendar falls again this year makes it impossible for us to delay the start of New England family camps for a week, so we forge ahead. Our very impressive team pressed on, without complaint, as we headed to Camp Berea around noon Sunday, trying to arrive ahead of our eager family campers, which we managed to do.  And then we were off and running, with no time to consider our exhaustion level.  Rising to the occasion, our staff presented "This is week 1 of family camp" enthusiasm and energy, and we truly honor them for their commitment to excellence.  We are also very mindful of God's grace in giving us all strength and health equal to the task.

Paul was greeted by Nathan Scott and his parents at Logan upon his arrival and that was precious to behold the first meeting of Papa and grandson #2.  How kind of Derek and Julie to make that happen at 6 a.m.!!

One-week-old Nathan musters a sleepy greeting for his Papa at the airport.

The "Butterfly Song" is sung for the first of many times as family camp gets underway.

We are so grateful to be partnering with Camp Berea these two weeks.  The commitment of the Berea staff to serve "as unto the Lord" is evident in every aspect of the camp, and our hearts resonate with their priorities, which we share.  Both weeks of camp were "out of the park" in all ways:  full and overflowing capacity, beautiful weather overall, protection from (most) sickness and serious injury, open hearts and sensitive spirits to God's work, and fabulous teaching from Richard Dahlstrom (lead pastor of Bethany Community Church in Seattle, WA).  Our staff were superb and served so, so well. We felt so met by God.  Above and beyond.

Staff photo from Family Camp 1 — a great, servant-hearted group of young people.

Derek, Julie, and Nathan Johnson decided to spend a good portion of the two weeks with us at camp, taking advantage of staying in the beautiful cabin we rent for housing our married staff (sans Paul and me, who stay on site.)  Birchaven (the cabin) abuts the camp property, making it very convenient but very separate.  It was a delight to all of our family campers to have the Johnsons show up to hear Richard speak or hang out in the back of the gym during the game show.  

I managed to make my way to Birchaven during any free moment I carved out during those weeks.  In fact, I surprised myself by how creative I was in finding "off the beaten track" paths to the cabin so as to not run into campers I would want to talk with.  I didn't want anything to keep me from spending the precious few moments I could have holding this little guy.  

I had an epiphany which came with a conviction as I stealthily made my way to the cabin one day.  The priority of seeing Nathan trumped my nature, which temperamentally would lead me to walk paths which would allow me to see the most amount of people.  I love interacting with people, especially those I love, and yet the desire to hold this little 8-pound bundle of new life was greater than my desire to connect with others I love.

The conviction was strong and startling.  I don't have that "I'll do this no matter what" drive when it comes to being with my Lord.  My quiet time can easily be set aside for "the tyranny of the urgent."  I can be sidetracked by a phone call, my "to-do" list, a hunger pang, or any number of other distractions.  My prayer since then is that I would have the same urgency of spending time with Him that I have had of spending time with little Nathan.  

I treasured every moment spent with him and found it very easy to worship Creator God as I studied the ever contorting face of this little guy and marveled at the miracle of new life. It's beyond me that life can be attributed to anyone or anything besides our Holy God.

Family campers seize some “Nathan moments” at the end of our talk on parenting.

The highlights at family camp were many.  Richard Dahlstrom's talks were brilliant and inspiring. Listen to them!  They are available on the H.I.M. website here and they are well worth listening to, at least once.  It was a joy to have Richard's wife, Donna, join us for week 2 of camp.  Richard and Donna are a couple who together live the gospel.  They make marriage look good. They live life fully.  They are real and down to earth.  They have become very treasured friends.  What a treat to have these days with them.

Another highlight was having our first ever college group for H.I.M. Family Camp 1.  Last year we had a college group at camp 2, which was thrilling, and we reached a new place in New England family camp history to have college groups at both camps this summer.  Ryan and Kelly Plosker led the group during week 1, and their praises were sung daily.  Never ones to do anything "just to get by," they looked up information on the internet about each of the colleges these kids would be attending in the fall and talked as a group about the unique challenges and benefits each may find at their respective schools.  The students felt very personally cared for by them.  Week 2's college students had the privilege of being led by Richard and Donna, who helped engage their group in developing more of a global awareness.  Great reports came from the students this week as well.  We were so thankful for the way God provided for the students in each of the weeks—again, "above and beyond."

The college group at Family Camp 1.  A stellar group, now off on college campuses. Pray that they'll stand firm for and in Him.

The traditions of family camp are always so stabilizing and loved:  the game show was a grand slam this summer as every camper was involved; the time of worship at the fire ring, followed by s'mores, was "sweet" in every way; the finger blasters were a "blast"; the dance night celebrated all that is good when the generations have fun together.  Banners were made by most families (thank you Guy Steele for making this happen year after year) and the banquet was a time of celebrating the powerful work of God among us. 

Guess which couple hosted the game show?  Fun was had by all.

Baptisms are among the most meaningful "traditions" of Family Camp.  Although all baptisms are significant, I don't think any of us will ever forget Meredith Grieci's.  This precious 7-year-old has Down's Syndrome and her enthusiastic "YES" to each of Paul's questions were topped only by her coming out of the water, arms held above her head in victory, beaming from ear to ear.  Ahhh . . . pure, childlike faith!  

Meredith Grieci and Mister Paul share a hug as camp ends. Her baptism will stay with us for a long time to come.

The end of family camp comes oh so quickly.  After corporate worship and wrap up, a group photo is taken, farewells are exchanged, and the campers drive off, reminding us that there are only 51 weeks until family camp.  :)

And within hours, the 260 campers for the second family camp arrived and we did it over again. 

I'll admit there were many moments leading up to family camp that we really doubted our sanity regarding our commitment to continuing to direct these weeks.  Maybe our sanity is still in question, but the moment camp was underway, the passion for this seminal ministry overwhelmed any questions we may have had about why we were doing this.  There is nothing more satisfying or reinforcing that seeing families together, learning to live and love "Jesus-style" in the community of like-minded believers.  What can be better than hearing stories of how God is at work: healing, restoring, renewing, and rebuilding?  

Friday, August 16, was the last day of our 2013 family camp season.  As tired as we were at that point, we were fueled by adrenalin (and grace) to finish strong and to savor the incredible way we had consistently been met by God throughout the summer.  Truly.  We were especially aware of the way God molded us in to a team in New Hampshire as a relatively eclectic group—anchored by a solid core of 15 who had served together all summer—gathered to staff those two weeks.  

After sending the campers off with a heartfelt chorus of "We love you campers, oh yes we do!", we drove out of New Hampshire and the party began.  Doug and Julie Macrae hosted the team for the weekend, starting with a night at Fenway Park on Friday and ending with a steak and lobster feast on Sunday evening.  Their hospitality and generosity are legendary and communicate such appreciation and affirmation of the staff team.  It's hard to imagine a better ending to an unforgettable summer.

Donned in Red Sox gear, the staff experience the rare treat of witnessing a Red Sox vs. Yankees match-up at Fenway.

Pretty sweet welcome to Fenway!!

Lobster races prior to dinner Sunday night, one of many unique experiences the staff had, making for a very memorable end-of-the-summer celebration.

And so another summer of family camps retires into the memory banks of all involved, by God's grace, leaving life-changing fingerprints on the hearts and minds of all.  Our prayer is that none of us will be the same as a result of having been together at family camp.  

We were greatly encouraged to receive a beautifully written, from-the-heart letter today from a family camper, and I'll close by excerpting part of it:

Thank you for another wonderful week at Family Camp.  We all look forward to it all year long and we are never disappointed.  As our little family grows up and our needs change, camp continues to be a perfect fit for us.

My girls love their "teachers" at camp and I am so grateful for these "cool" young adults who show my girls God's love, that it is fun and rewarding to walk this path boldly, to worship Him unashamed.  These young people go above and beyond, giving their time and attention to children, making kids feel special.  Thanks again for an amazing week, for being our non-negotiable family trip every summer.  We are already looking forward to next year!

A joyful exclamation point on the end of a great summer.  All praise is His!

Miracles

Part of what made the summer "fuller" was having Derek and Julie home from Uganda awaiting the birth of their first child.  Camped out in our home in Bedford, MA, they kept us appraised of progress, or lack thereof, regularly.  Julie’s due date of July 25 fell on Thursday of Family Camp 5.

I was deeply touched that they invited me to be part of the coaching team for her labor and delivery, but I must admit I could not imagine how I would possibly be able to be there "on time."  I knew it would take a miracle to get the timing right.  No one thought it was a good idea for me to leave camp early and hang around waiting for the baby to come, and as we all know, a baby comes according to God's appointed schedule, not ours.  We honestly didn't know how to plan, but we all knew that the complicating factor of being on an island with an infrequent boat schedule would make it difficult to fulfill our desires.

I had begun praying in earnest during camp 5 that God would give me an unmistakable impression when it was time to go.  Friday the 26th arrived, and I sensed that it was the day.  Julie called after her morning appointment and said, "Status quo.  Dilated to 1 cm still, and 80% effaced.  The doctor had me make an appointment for a non-stress test for next Tuesday and an appointment for next Friday."  

In spite of that lackluster report, I couldn't shake the sense that it was time to go.  Our dear friends Doug and Julie Macrae were attending camp that week and discussing with them my sense that the time had come to go, they offered to fly back with me that night.  They rearranged their tickets and got my ticket, securing the last 3 seats on a Jet Blue flight out of Long Beach at 10:30 p.m., arriving 6:30 a.m. Sat. at Logan.   Dear CBS friends Paul and Vauna Armstrong picked us up at the boat, fed us at In-N-Out Burger, and dropped us off at Long Beach airport.

At the airport, 10 p.m., getting ready to board, I got a call from Julie.  "My water broke. I'm going in to labor."  

It was a moment from heaven, to be honest.  I felt a bit like Moses must've felt when he received instruction from God, and God said something like, "You'll know I sent you when you get there."  I felt so personally loved and cared for by God that He would've made this so, so clear.

So off we flew, arriving on time, and a call to Julie confirmed that she was in labor but far from delivery.  Macraes dropped me at our home and soon after, Derek, Julie and I checked in to Newton-Wellesley Hospital, where at 11 p.m., after a long, hard day of "labor," baby Nathan Scott Johnson entered this world.

Here we go . . . about 2/3rds the way through her 24-hour labor, they're still all smiles.  That would change . . .

I have never been a part of anything more miraculous than experiencing his birth, except our own three births.  And I obviously experienced those in a completely different way!  Julie was a champ, laboring stoically and without medication.  It was such an honor to be a part of this most amazing process.

Within moments of Nathan's birth, the smiles are back and the miracle of birth is embraced.

All cleaned up and ready to go, I hold this healthy, alert, wide-eyed little bundle for his mom to see.  Precious moments.

Out of labor and delivery and into their private room, the happy family looks amazingly refreshed, which belies the intensity of the previous hours.

An hour after Nathan's arrival, I drove to Logan airport to pick up Lisa, Kari, and Brandon, who had flown in to celebrate their baby sister's first child.  They also had booked tickets in faith, taking advantage of the few days Lisa could take off from her new job (more on that later.)  When they booked their flights, they knew there was a possibility that he wouldn't arrive while they were there but Lisa had no other space of time she could make the trip.  They were so elated to know she was in labor while they were flying out, and were amazed that they were granted entrance to the hospital at 1 a.m. to welcome little Nathan.  Sweet, sweet moments.

Auntie Kari, Auntie LeeLee, and cousin Brandon rejoice over two-hour-old Nathan.

Brandon is temporarily speechless as he examines his little cousin.

A brief photo shoot before the girls fly back to California.  Nathan is 3.5 days old.

Paul generously and faithfully soldiered on, running Family Camp 6, while the rest of us celebrated this precious new life.  Reports from family campers affirmed that he did a great job without me, though he would have you believe otherwise.  His plate was especially full as he not only ran camp 6, but he wrapped up the family 2013 CBS camp season and prepared to launch two weeks of H.I.M. family camps in New Hampshire . . . which started 24 hours after CBS ended.  And 3000 miles stood between the two camps and most of the staff.  Craziness.

Back to Nathan: Derek and Julie welcomed many visitors, including Derek's parents and sister, during Nathan's first days.  They came home from the hospital on Monday, the 29th, and began adjusting to their new normal.  Nathan arrived at 7 lbs 7 oz and 20.75" and has spent his first two weeks of life doing normal newborn things: nursing, sleeping, and getting changed.  He's also done many things that few newborns do, like accompanying his dad to get the oil changed in the car, going to the market to get a few groceries, and going to family camp.  Why not??  Derek and Julie have taken to parenting like a duck to water and besides experiencing normal sleep deprivation, they're deliriously happy and deeply grateful.

Nathan attends his first family camp at Berea.

So are we.  These two weeks have been full of mercies and blessings too numerous to recount, but this we know:

The miracle of birth has turned our world upside down in the best possible sense.

Life On an Island

I’m looking forward to the day when my blog doesn’t start with “I can’t believe how much time has passed . . .”, but that day is not today.  It is unprecedented, actually, that almost two months have passed since my last post, but again, it is an apt reflection of the lack of bandwidth I've had for the non-urgent list of “to-do’s.” 

We had a summer full of family camps ahead of us when I last posted.  Only 3 days now remain of our 9-week commitment and that truly seems impossible.  But calendars don't lie.

We started June 17th at Campus by the Sea with this wonderful staff of mostly veteran family camp kids now grown up.  It's funny to think back to our first few days of orientation week, before we knew each other and before we had become a cohesive team.  Now reflecting, this staff grew into who they “seemed” to be: servant-hearted, humble, serving, and desiring growth.  So many answers to the months of praying that God would bring the right team together!  We are truly grateful for God's faithfulness and grace.

Day 1 of staff training: a neophyte collection of college students who had grown up at CBS (for the most part) . . .

. . and who became a well-functioning, serving, cohesive team over the course of 7 weeks.

All six weeks of family camp were incredibly fruitful and blessed.  Each speaker delivered, and God used their words to inspire, challenge, heal, and give hope.  Some families experienced healing.  Some made life-impacting decisions.  Some met Christ.

It was just one of those summers during which the constant refrain was "we are so blessed."  We had very little sickness on staff or in camp.  We had very few injuries.  We had great weather, and the three or so days during which rain fell, it was gentle and dust-settling and no more.  We had a cohesive, harmonious staff who were committed to living honorably in the community and, thankfully, perpetuated little drama.  All of our camps were full and overflowing; the waiting lists never were cleared, which is both good and bad news.

We sensed God’s favor and presence in more ways than I can articulate.  We feel very, very blessed.

One family encouraged us with this email following their week at camp:

Dear Paul and Virginia,We want to thank you for such a great week at family camp!We were so encouraged and refreshed by all the teaching and super sweet worship times! Thank you for your clear and frank teaching. We were blessed!Blessings to you both! Thank you so much for running such an amazing program...we are truly blessed and encouraged...ready to take on the next year. Thank you for the love, encouragement, friendship, and challenging of our faith, marriage, and parenting! 

Papa and Brandon get the campers’ attention in the dining hall at the start of the meal.

Though there were many highlights for us as we reconnected with literally hundreds of families we deeply love and invested in a program we're wholly invested in, the highest lights included having our own family at camp.  All three girls spend some days at camp, and Kari, Gabe, and Brandon spent a week as family campers.  It feels like it's coming full circle to have the 4th generation Friesens benefitting from the vision of Grandpa Mel, who helped start this whole thing 62 years ago.  “Great is Thy Faithfulness!”  It was also a delight to have a bunch of other siblings, nieces, and nephews.  It means the world to us that they make a priority of continuing the legacy of family camp in their families.

Lisa also managed to make it to camp during the week the Garcias attended.  :)

Another highlight of the summer was having Jake Gosselin and Kaylee Sherman serve as our college leaders and worship leaders.  The fact that their wedding date was set for 8 weeks after orientation week began made their presence most significant.  The comment that we had the "best worship ever" at camp was constant, but even more impressive was how they conducted themselves in the community with so much honor.  Their impending marriage spawned many relationship talks among the staff and inspired many to continue wrestling with their own commitments and standards regarding relationships. A very fun Saturday afternoon was spent “showering” Kaylee.  The time of sharing was especially sweet as several spoke of Kaylee and Jake’s relationship being so hope-giving in terms of having a God-honoring relationship.

Kaylee’s shower was a sweet time of celebration of her upcoming wedding which went off without a hitch on August 10.

For the first time maybe ever, I left camp just before the sixth and final family camp began, but that's for the next blog.  

Life on an island.  Free of so many distractions.  Full of so many God moments.  Fruitful in ways known and unknown.  

We are blessed.

Sunrise illuminating Saddleback on the mainland . . . and the iconic rock jetty, which protects this sacred little cove that hosts Campus by the Sea.

Whirlwind on Steroids (part 3)

Wrapping up the whirlwind: our annual H.I.M. Memorial Day Family Camping Trip was canceled due to dire weather forecasts, which proved to be true.  Though very disappointing, it was the right decision.  Snow fell in VT and NH that weekend!!

As a result of that cancellation, I was able to fly down for my brother Frank's remarriage.  It was good to be with five of my six siblings even briefly.

Six of the original seven Collins siblings at Frank's remarriage.

In between lots of counseling appointments and preparation for family camps, we also took on re-painting and re-carpeting our long-neglected downstairs in anticipation of having Derek and Julie with us for the next several months as they birth their first child.  :)  We are very pleased with the results and have wondered what took us so long to prioritize those projects!

Lisa and I ran the Covered Bridges Half Marathon Sunday, June 2, for the 4th year in a row.  As it turned out, 85 degree temps and 95% humidity made it our most difficult "half" and our worst time.  In spite of Lisa's gracious encouragement throughout all 13.1 miles, I spent much of it wondering if I could do it.  Thankfully, I did, but I vowed to not compete in a "hot" run again.  Ever.   

Even so, the grueling nature of the run was made somewhat bearable by the kind-hearted people who stood along the race route and sprayed us with their garden hoses.  Lisa and I were extra blessed by our dear friend Glenn who twice met us along the route with a spray bottle and icy cold wash clothes. Especially at mile 11, when 2 more miles seemed impossible, Glenn refreshed us with these coolants and encouraged us with "You can do it!" I was amazed at how revitalizing such acts of kindness were and what a huge difference they made in our determination to finish well.  Well, at least, to finish.  For the record, I am using "we" very generously here.  Lisa could've run circles around me and finished at least 45 minutes sooner than we did.  She is very, very gracious.

Lisa, Pam Barker, and I ran as the "Green Team" this year at the Covered Bridges Half Marathon.

13.1 miles later in brutal heat and humidity, we celebrated our accomplishment.

It was a joy to reconnect with Bethany Church of Breakfast Hill, New Hampshire, on Monday, June 3, as we spoke to their First Monday Couples' Night.  To a packed room, we spoke on "finishing well" in marriage and the couples seemed very engaged and appreciative.  First Monday at Bethany was spawned by First Monday at Grace Chapel, launched by Gordon MacDonald and carried on for 9 years by Paul.  It was heartening to see the continuation of that strategic ministry to men.

That evening ended with the exclamation point of Derek and Julie's return to the States to begin the wait for their baby's arrival.  Derek once again flew within 24 hours after a positive malaria diagnosis.  :(  Fortunately he responds quickly to medication and had enough in him to make the trip.  He did return to Uganda 11 days later and will return to the States July 12 for the countdown.  Their due date is July 25.  Exciting times!!!

Welcome home, Derek and Julie!  A delayed celebration of Derek's birthday included freshly baked cinnamon rolls and fresh blueberries.

Not many people make Phoenix, Arizona, a destination of choice in June, but we did—in response to an invitation from lead pastor David Harris to do a marriage conference at Paradise Church.  We loved partnering with David and his crew, who did a great job of putting together a meaningful weekend for couples.  We were especially pleased to reconnect with Matt and Christen Bumen and their precious children Derek and Riley over breakfast one morning.  Paul married them 10 years ago and it's very, very encouraging to see their vital, growing marriage.  Though very brief, our time was rich and wonderful.  And hot.  It was 113 degrees on Saturday.  :)

Matt and Christen Bumen and David and Tammy Harris were instrumental to making the Paradise Church conference happen.

Along with this crew, all of these folks have deep hearts for marriage and are serving Paradise Church in some manner.

Straight from Phoenix, we flew to Washington, D.C., to pull off a surprise 30th anniversary party for my youngest sister, Laura, and her husband, David.  Our girls are some of their "surrogate" children and together with them, we really wanted to honor their beautiful marriage. They have been so intentional about keeping their marriage alive and growing—and truthfully, they make marriage look great.  We're so thankful for them.

It was a blast working together with some of their closest friends to honor them on the occasion of this milestone.  Thankfully, it came off without a hitch and along with 30 of their closest friends, we celebrated their uncommonly good union.  

Here they are on June 18, 1983 . . .

. . . and here they are 30 years later, still madly in love with each other, and even more in love with Christ.

The party-goers at the home of their dear friends Bob and Lisa Hartman (front row, far right).

We drove back home early the next morning with Derek and Julie, who had driven down for the party, and began the countdown for our summer at Campus by the Sea.  It was crazy to say the least but we managed to get through our final counseling appointments and wrap up other loose ends before we flew to Caifornia on Saturday, June 15th, as Derek flew back to Uganda.

It was a joy to spend Father's Day with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon, as well as Lisa and Julie, and then all head to Campus by the Sea together on Monday, the 17th, where we launched our 38th summer there. 

Gabe opens his Father's Day gift from Brandon: SF Giants' t-shirts for both.  :)

The best gift for this dad—his three daughters!

Off to Catalina we go, with three grown up daughters and two grandchildren on the way.

The whirlwind sort of has landed in Gallagher's Cove which hosts Campus by the Sea.  Not that we're sitting around eating bonbons, mind you, but we're breathing deeply the sea air and basking in the simplicity of life disconnected from technology and traffic.  We're in to our second week of family camp already and I'll write about that before long.

I mentioned in the first part of this series that we've had some of the highest highs and lowest lows over this past month.  The lows have included almost losing my dad over Memorial Day Weekend, when he apparently suffered a TIA or a mild heart attack (from which he has fully recovered, thankfully, though his decline from dementia marches on).  The night of Memorial Day we received word that my sweet cousin Donna's 21-year-old son had drowned accidentally, and that news plunged us all into deep sorrow.  More recently, the mother of very dear friends succumbed to a 9-month battle with cancer, and these friends had lost their dad just 9 months ago, also to cancer.  And we experienced greater challenge than usual assembling a program team for family camps this summer.  Plenty of applicants, but putting together the right team for working with our older kids was difficult.

I wish I could say that we handled these all with grace and confidence consistent with our belief in our Sovereign Lord, but there were many moments of anxiety, concern, and grief.   No apologies for grief; it is what it is and warranted in times of loss, but it's been good to be reminded these weeks at camp that God really is in control and that He's got us covered.

Inside and outside of the whirlwind.

All praise is His.   

Whirlwind on Steroids (part 2)

We didn't catch our breath, really, before catching an early morning flight to LA to spend the weekend in that area.  First stop, Santa Clarita, which just happened to be on our way to our Thursday night speaking engagement at Desert Vineyard in Lancaster.

Though it had only been days since being with Brandon in Sacramento, it was no less exciting to receive Brandon's exuberant, full body hug Thursday morning.  We managed to squeeze in an arduous hike to his favorite new park (Kari gets a "Mother of the Year" rose for pushing him in the stroller up the 1.5 mile route to the park) before heading up to Lancaster to spend the evening teaching at the Antelope Valley Ministerial Association date night.  A delicious bbq dinner preceded our talk on "Friendship in Marriage," over which we caught up with David and Nancy Parker, who lead the congregation at the Desert Vineyard.  We love them!  

Reward for hiking up that 1.5 mile hill to get to this very fun park!!

David and Nancy Parker have become not just partners in ministry, but dear friends as well.

The Antelope Valley Ministerial Association gave us a warm welcome in Lancaster.

We're not sure who enjoyed Friday more, Brandon or us, as we spent from morning ‘til night exploring Disney's new Cars Land, where Brandon's beloved Lightening McQueen lives.  Thanks again to the generosity of our dear Disney employed friends, we were able to enjoy this day without having to ransom our grandson to gain entry.  :)  It was a perfect Disneyland day....slightly coolish weather, cloudy-at times skies, and not horrific lines.  We had a blast.  Since Disneyland was part of my growing up years, it has always held my heart and I really do love the place.  We managed to "do" both parks and clocked 11 miles walking from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.  :)  The delight exponentially increased as we experienced it through Brandon's "this is really real" eyes....especially on the "Finding Nemo" submarines when he announced that he had found Nemo to the entire boatload of people. So stinkin' cute!!

Cars Land lives up to its billing!  We had so much fun.

The traditional photo...no trip to Disney would be complete without it!

Highly recommend this tire air-hockey ride in Cars Land.

The highlight: meeting Lightening himself.  Does it get any better than this?

He conked out before we got off the shuttle back to our car, and didn't waken ‘til the next morning.

After a brief recovery from Disney Saturday morning (and a few lessons for Brandon about the fine art of yard-saleing from Gigi and Papa), we headed back to Lancaster to preach at the Desert Vineyard Saturday night and Sunday.  We once again found the congregation to be very receptive and teachable.  Many expressed appreciation for our teaching. One woman, through tears, said she was leaving with hope for the first time in years. Praise Him!!

We were so blessed to have another couple at Desert Vineyard who are committed book table sellers.  Theresa and Kevin Swafford ran our book table the first time we spoke for Desert Vineyard's marriage conference several years ago and eagerly volunteer each time we come to town.  They LOVE doing it and they do a great job.  Once again, feeling very blessed!!

Kevin and Theresa making selling books look easy.

Back to Massachusetts we flew on Monday, May 20, happily exhausted.  Our flight back was half a red-eye; we were on a 6 am flight, which required getting up at 3:30 am.  We decided that was as bad as a red-eye.  

But the whirlwind doesn't stop here.  Stayed tuned for part 3.

Whirlwind on Steroids (part 1)

I'm well aware that I begin many of my blogs with "I can't believe it's already ______" and though I always "mean" it, I mean it even more this time.  April ran out of days, and once May began, it's been hard to catch our breath.  On Monday we take the boat to Catalina Island to begin our summer of family camps, and I can honestly say I'm not quite ready.  Fortunately, 48 hours remain between now and then and I'm trusting that the loose ends will be secured and the "have to's" will be completed.  

These past six weeks have held some of our highest highs as well as some of our lowest lows.  

April ended on a high note of spending Monday the 29th at Whitinsville Christian School, speaking on relationships.  We taught two different chapels and four different classes in the course of the day, covering both junior and senior high students.  Under the umbrella of the goodness of God's design, we spoke on "becoming the right person rather than finding the right person" in a variety of ways.  Topics ranging from purity and modesty to dating and marriage were touched on and we enjoyed every minute of our interaction with this wonderful student body.  Great way to spend a day!!

The day ended with a Home Improvement Ministries Board Meeting.  It says a lot about your Board when you look forward to meeting with them.  Blessed!!

The middle schoolers at Whitinsville were quite engaged as we spoke on relationships.

Following a day of counseling, we were off to California again for the annual THRIVE conference at Bayside Church in Granite Bay, May 2-4.  We love being a part of this conference, which is dynamic, relevant, re-energizing, spiritually challenging, and fun.  It's kind of a "party with a purpose."  Ray Johnston knows how to do that better than anyone we know.  It's such an honor to present workshops there, and this year we did two on marriage and one on parenting teens.  All three were packed out and well received.  We’re so thankful.

THRIVE conference at Bayside—lacking in nothing except sleep.  :)

Straight from THRIVE, we drove to San Francisco to spend Sunday with Bethel Church.  We were so happy to be back at this church after doing a marriage conference for them last September.  We had the privilege of teaching together at their church services, morning and night, and their merged adult Sunday School class.  Bill and Marja Osgood provide such passionate leadership for this strategically located church in the Mission district of SF.  We love partnering with them. And of course, our dear friends John and Marilyn Nugent provide the lay leadership for our ministry there and it's always a treat to partner with them in ministry as well as celebrate our friendship.  After a full day, we caught a red-eye home, forgetting temporarily that we gain little from such craziness.  :)

John and Marilyn Nugent and Marja Osgood (not pictured is her husband, Bill, lead pastor) made it a great day for us at Bethel.

We were home 3-4 days before flying back to California.  Technically, 4 days, but Monday was a wash following the red-eye, so 3 productive days would be accurate.  Counseling and other meetings filled the days, as well as selecting paint and carpet and readying our long-neglected house for some work.  Maintenance must happen at some point!  For the first time in our married life (which hit the 37-year mark on April 24), we hired an interior painter.  Definitely one of the better decisions we've made.  :)  We left for California on the 10th, and returned to 20th to a freshly painted downstairs.  We decided we could totally get into this.  :)  Nice.

We returned to Bayside Granite Bay to speak for their Mothers’ Day services and were truly humbled by the invitation.  Bayside's congregation is also so warm, supportive, and appreciative.  The effects of trickle-down leadership are obvious.

Much to our delight, Gabe, Kari, and Brandon made the trek from Santa Clarita to Sacramento to celebrate Mother's Day with both of their mothers, so the weekend was laced together with wonderful moments of multigenerational delight.  The pool, the park, church, frozen yogurt, Oscars tacos.  Great times.  Great memories.  Great Mother's Day.  All too quickly they drove south and our brief reunion was temporarily suspended.

Joy!!!

We hung around Sacramento for the next few days in our "home away from home"—the hospitable home of Scott and Sally Shaull.  They've hosted us 3 out of the 5 times we've been out to partner with Bayside since January and have loved us so well.  They have amazing hearts.  Scott cooked up a phenomenal steak and lobster post-Mother's Day feast on Tuesday night and it would be hard to beat this culinary fete anywhere.  Add to that great company—Johnstons and Shaulls—and you've got a "couldn't get any better than this" evening.  

Ray, Scott, and Paul hover over the just-about-to-be-eaten, fresh from New England, hand-carried-by-Scott lobsters.

Another highlight of these days was getting to spend a morning with one of my heart friends, Christina.  Once a young camper at CBS, "Nina" is now the mother of 4, wife of a godly man who doubles as a highly-trained doctor working with pediatric trauma cases, and thriving woman of God.  We had such a sweet morning together, catching up on what we could, and ending longing for more time.  Pure gift.

It was great to be with Nina.

Wednesday, May 15, we ended our 5-part series on marriage at Bayside's "Date Night."  How we've loved these nights!  To an enthusiastic crowd, we talked about how to keep your marriage alive if you're married, and how to make a wise choice for marriage if you're not.  It was a great ending to an effective series.

Our final date night at Bayside.

Before I wrap up part one, I want to highlight a couple who made a huge difference for us.  Manning our book table is always a challenge for us as it's hard to sell books and be available to people who have questions after we've spoken.  Dave and Diane have become friends of ours over the past months and when we asked if they would be willing to be at our book table once or twice during Mothers’ Day weekend (Bayside now has 6 services), they said, "We'll do it for all six services."  And they did.  Cheerfully.  Servant-heartedly.  In a "it's our privilege" sort of way.   We were/are so grateful for the way they came alongside us.  We truly couldn't have done it without them.  They are "difference makers" through their service.  

Dave and Diane after service #6 at Bayside.  We'll always be grateful.

On to southern California . . . and the whirlwind continues.  On to part 2.

Jet-setting isn't as glamorous as it looks . . .

. . . but it's "worth it."

So 48 hours after the Boston Marathon Bombing, we were on a flight to California to speak at Bayside Church's monthly couples' date night.  Though we have loved, loved, loved doing this every month of 2013, it seems that each month is challenged with obstacles.  Weather delays.  Lost luggage.  Almost missing the event.  Crazy!

Continuing in the theme, our luggage didn't arrive with us because our to flight Sacramento via O'Hare was canceled (thunderstorms this time!) and we were rebooked to Sacramento via San Francisco.  Our bodies made it but our luggage didn't.  Paul was all too happy to make another trip to Costco to buy his monthly new outfit for speaking.  Me, not so much.  Especially since my personal shopper (Kari) has re-located to Santa Clarita, so I was left to my own devices in a very limited amount of time.  I know, I know.  First World Problem.  No sympathy expected.

The theme of this date night was marital sexuality, and we appreciated the very responsive crowd.  So many commented on how grateful they were that we were willing to address this "verboten-in-the-church" subject.  One couple wrote, "LOVED all that you shared last night @ Bayside…God worked thru you, reaching right into our 30-year relationship…I'M AMAZED!!! Thank you."  We were very thankful.

Thursday we spoke at the first event geared towards the 55-plus gang at Bayside.  Allan and Karen Hearl lead this new ministry which is just beginning to take shape and we were honored to help with their launch.  A salad luncheon followed by worship led by Brandon Yip preceded our talk on "Finishing Well."  The group was eclectic and represented the spectrum from married and remarried, to single and single again through widowhood or divorce, and everything in between.  But despite the diversity of life stage and experience, there was a sweet spirit in the place. As the committee met to reflect on the event, there was agreement that it had been very successful.  Praise Him!

Allan Hearl welcomes the 55-plus crowd to the launch of this new ministry outreach at Bayside.

Still without luggage, I flew down to Burbank that night and met up with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon, and Paul flew back to Boston the next day (united with his luggage.)  I spent a frustrating number of hours on Friday awaiting delivery of my suitcase (which had been flown multiple times between Boston, San Francisco, Sacramento, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and finally Burbank) but it finally arrived, and off to the beach in Ventura we went to play late in the afternoon.  Very, very fun.

Gabe, Kari, and Brandon enjoy the beauty of Ventura Beach.

Kari and I spoke at a women's conference at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach all day Saturday, while Paul spoke at two Iron Sharpens Iron conferences in New England.  Our day was much more relaxing and lovely than his, but he felt good about his experience.

Women's Conferences are works of art. Really. The beautiful decorations. The delicious food, presented as though for a Queen's Court. The details all tended to. The air of expectation. The delight of women gathering. These women did a fabulous job of preparing for the day and Kari and I enjoyed working together on "Sacred Influence:  Journeying through life with Racers, Pacers, and Tracers."  Borrowing from very impacting talks Gary Gaddini gave at Campus by the Sea a number of years ago, we talked about the importance of mentoring and of being mentored as we go through life.  It was truly a joy for me to speak with Kari, and I think the women really appreciated that, too.  It was a good day.

The beautiful snack table reflected the care and beauty of all aspects of the women's conference at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach, CA.

Most of the committee that made the women's conference happen—a great group of ladies!

Early the next morning, I drove to San Diego to spend 5 days with my parents.  My mother has recovered beautifully from her mastectomy, and it was such a privilege to spend a few days enjoying being with them and doing a few projects around the house, as well as helping with the early morning and nightly routines with my dad.  I also got to be with the three sisters who live in the area at various points.  Really special, memorable days.

My remarkable mom at 83, following two surgeries in the last two months.  I told her she'd set the bar at a level I hope to never have to reach!  What an amazing woman she is.  So thankful for her.

I flew back to Boston on Thursday, April 25th, and disappointingly, my luggage didn't arrive with me.  Oh no!!!  Not this again!  In a Groundhog's Day-esque way, Friday the 26th was a repeat of Friday the 19th, only worse.  The suitcase, promised at 6 a.m., eventually arrived at 5 p.m.  A very long, frustrating day.  Crazy again.  And yes, I know, a first world problem.  

The following day was our annual "Worth It" Conference, focused on sexual and emotional purity.  This family event is one of the highlights of our year.  We believe so passionately that we experience God's best when we trust His design, and this is especially true regarding relationships.  

We had a packed house and a phenomenal staff whose teaching and life stories both inspired and challenged the audience, which was composed of parents and teen-agers.  All of the staff were open and honest about the goodness of God's design as well as the heartache of going against it.  Besides the three plenary sessions, we offered relevant workshops and peer group, gender-based sessions that provided forums for going deeper in some areas.  The day ended with a challenge to commitment to purity.

Most of the "Worth It" staff, gathered at day's end to thank the Lord for meeting us.

Retired NFL player Don Davis poses with a group of eager students at the "Worth It" conference.

The feedback on the day was overwhelmingly positive and some of the comments included:

"There were several times throughout the day that someone said something and immediately I would think, 'I came here to hear that.  That was meant for me!  It's just crazy and wonderful."  (16-year-old female)

"The most beneficial part of the day was that I'm worth the wait!"

"Great message.  My mom brought me and, to be honest, I didn't want to come.  I AM SO GLAD THAT I DID!"  (13-year-old female)

"It was an awesome day.  Great food, fantastic speakers who really related to us students . . . I will definitely come again!" 

 

One youth leader sent this:

"Overall, all 8 kids that came really liked it and said they loved the speakers and learned a lot and wanted to bring others next year!  The girls said, "It was great to hear everyone's stories about making mistakes so that we know not to follow in that same path, but we really liked hearing Lisa talking about doing it the right way!" (Go Lisa!) They also LOVED hearing Adam talk about how he valued his wife so much before they were married and that is proof that she can trust him to value her and be faithful forever. Another quote they loved was from Jillian about, "You don't have to worry about attracting all the guys. You will attract the one that God has planned for you.'"

We couldn't have been more thankful for the day and pray that the effects of the day will be felt for years to come.

The following day we had the privilege of conducting a "renewal of vows" ceremony for a couple whose marriage was rocked by infidelity three years ago.  Through years of hard work and lots of God's grace, their marriage not only survived, but is thriving. It was a celebration we'll treasure remembering.  There were many poignant moments, but I'll never forget the look on the face of the 14-year-old son as his parents recommitted themselves to one another.  He later said, "I've been praying and waiting for this day for 3 years."  His radiant face said it all.  

The very full weekend was rounded out by some exploring Boston with daughter Lisa and her friend/mentee Jillian who flew up to help with "Worth It."  We had a blast walking the streets, taking in the sights, and consuming the delights of some great eateries.  A perfect end to a great weekend.

Lisa and Jillian and I delight in the Public Garden's blooming tulips.

It was very nice to not board a plane this weekend—or to be waiting for errant luggage to be delivered. 

To and from Ann Arbor with love

(Note:  this blog was started April 18th . . . and finished May 10.)

It actually felt great to board the flight to Detroit on Thursday, April 11, though weather delays out of Boston and again out of Chicago turned the 3.5 hour flight time into a 10-hour day, door-to-door.  No worries: delays in airports are seen as walking fields for me and as an office extension for Paul.  :)  "Latent Spring" continued in Ann Arbor under cloudy skies and rainy weather, and there were no signs of spring, except in the beautiful cut flowers from Costco which adorned the Wong home.

Wai and Elaine Wong and their daughters Jessica (14), Leilani (12), and Jasmine (9), are in a league of their own when it comes to hospitality.  All five of them go above and beyond in making us feel like they’re privileged to have us staying in their home.  Welcome signs.  Fresh cut flowers.  Delicious meals.  Engaging conversations.  Sensitivity to our needs.  We were sorry our schedule allowed us only 3 days with them!!

Elaine and her sous chefs prepared fresh sushi for dinner and it was fabulous.

The Wongs and us at Zingerman's Deli in Ann Arbor. As good as it was, it wasn't better than Elaine's home cooking.

Wai and Elaine made this weekend happen.  For the second year in a row, they brought us to Ann Arbor to speak to the community at Ann Arbor Christian School and beyond.  Friday night we spoke on parenting to a room full of parents eager for encouragement and support.  Dr. James Dobson got it right when he named one of his parenting books Parenting Isn't for Cowards.  We need all the support and encouragement we can get during the "in the trenches" season of raising up the next generation, and we were  thankful that many took advantage of this opportunity.

The audience at Ann Arbor Christian School listened attentively as we taught on raising kids with convictions.

Saturday morning we spoke on marriage and a slightly smaller, but just as engaged, group showed up for the seminar.  One of our constant themes is that marriage and parenting are inextricably bound together and the reciprocal effect is that they'll both suffer or both thrive, but it's nigh impossible for one to thrive while the other suffers.  It's a sobering truth for those who have given everything they have to their children at the expense of their marriage, to hear that their children would fare better with less good parenting if it were replaced with a thriving marriage.  Though seemingly counter-intuitive, it is a truth agreed upon by both secular and Christian therapists.  Having a growing marriage and thriving kids is what we all want, but for most of us, we struggle for that to be a reality.

We were humbled to receive this from one of the attendees:

"It was truly a joy and a privilege to hear Paul and Virginia Friesen speak on marriage and parenting at AACS.   Delivering humble, honest teaching paired with story-telling that is at times both poignant and humorous, the Friesens bring a message of hope to families today, with Christ placed firmly at the center.  My husband and I walked away not only with the desire to grow in our marriage and parenting skills, but also with practical tips and tools for achieving our goals in these areas.  Relevant, inspiring, and challenging...exuding a love for God and for others...the Friesens are the real deal!" 

Besides speaking, we spent a chunk of time with our dear friend Doris, who is now a single mom raising her 3 little girls.  We have such deep hearts for Doris.  She is not just a survivor; she is determined to thrive and to create a home environment in which her daughters will also thrive.  We're always inspired by time with Doris and this was no exception.

We also had the joy of spending an afternoon with Paul's sister and brother-in-law, Ron and Joyce Rottschafer, who drove in from Pentwater, MI, and their daughter and her family, Dave and Heidi Lemmerhirt and Daniel and Anna.  Over a delicious homemade meal of hot soup and muffins (perfect for this semi-winter day), we caught up on each other's lives and celebrated all that is good in shared DNA.  

Ron and Joyce (Friesen) Rottschafer and Heidi (Rottschafer) Lemmerhirt with husband Dave and children Daniel and Anna hosted us for lunch after speaking.  Great time of catching up with family.

The rest of the time, we were the recipients of the Wong's love.  They spoiled us.  They pampered us.  They gave us the pure "no-strings-attached" form of love.

Even more than their many indulgences, we loved the most hanging out with all five of them at times and just the four adults at times.  We had great conversations about life.  We learned about robotics and the upcoming International competition their team has been invited to.  We talked about health.  Exercise.  Eating.  We talked about church, parenting, marriage.  We talked about what works and what doesn't.  

We talked about how much we need the encouragement of one another to keep on keeping on, especially in the marriage and family realm as destruction in these precious-to-God units increases around us.  It would be oh-so-easy to give up and give in to worldliness, to settling, to missing the mark.

Maybe we're most at risk of losing hope and of giving up.  Since brokenness is part of all of our existence, we're vulnerable to taking the path of least resistance.  It was good to reinforce our collective commitment to pressing on and to becoming more Christlike.

All too quickly, our time in Ann Arbor came to an end and we flew in to Boston in the wee hours of the morning of Patriots Day, now aka "Boston Marathon Bombing."  I reflected on that tragic day in my last post, and though I immediately started writing this blog, the pace of the past three weeks, combined with a myriad of computer challenges, conspired against me getting this done.

Though 3.5 weeks have passed since Patriots Day, the weight of what happened that day is still very evident.  Flags around Boston  are still flying at half-staff.  News reports alternately replay the past with new revelations as they unfold.   Boston Strong's commercial aired by Major League Baseball, featuring Neil Diamond singing "Sweet Caroline" at Fenway, as well as the iconic song being sung at other ballparks around the country symbolizing solidarity, plays several times during telecasts of Red Sox games.  Each showing causes a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.  The make-shift memorial that grows daily in Copley Square, along with a  brightly be-ribboned fence along Boylston Street with each fabric tie carrying a message or a prayer handwritten by those united by common grief reminds us that healing takes a long time.

Scraps of fabric became messengers of prayers and expressions of grief, tied to an iron fence along Boylston Street.

Symbols of grief, expressed tangibly in Copley Square, remind us that we unite against some forms of evil.

Twelve hours separated us from the Wong's loving, selfless service and care and the selfish, cowardly, destructive act of violence against mankind at the marathon.  Degrees of difference.  Day and night.  Love and hate.  Life and death.

Though polarized in description, the truth is that these intermingle in all our hearts.  What happened at the Boston Marathon is a macrocosm of what happens in our homes.  We're convicted to keep pressing for selfless, in-the-light, life.  And to help others do the same.

Reflections on a race gone wrong

All over Logan airport in the wee hours of dawn today, they were wearing the electric blue and yellow 2013  Boston Marathon jackets, shirts, and caps.  Some wore medals around their necks.  Some were limping from blisters worn or muscles strained. The walking wounded were unmistakably identifiable.

Less than 48 hours after the 117th almost-traditional running of the hallowed Boston Marathon, the reality of what happened to interrupt this "life is good" Patriot's Day head-liner seemed to be suspended in the surreal, and the look of disbelief was on every face we saw, runners and non-runners, young and old, man and woman.  Were it not for the constant barrage of TV news coverage (looping with the same images over and over) and the front page of every newspaper on the rack, it could seem like it couldn't have possibly happened . . . that it was little more than a Hollywood rendering of an imagined disaster at the most storied marathon in American history.

How could something so good, so wholesome, so full of life, in 13 short seconds be turned into a scene not unlike a battlefield from war, ironically on the day commemorating the battlefield which launched the Revolutionary War?  How could the laughter, the cheering, the celebrations, the herculean accomplishments of so many vaporize in the acrid smell and deafening sound of "bombs bursting in air", creating panic, chaos, wounds, and death—just like that?

Against the backdrop of a much-prayed-for beautiful cool, spring day, more that 25,000 participants attempted to fulfill what their long and arduous training had prepared them for. They were ready for blisters, for muscle cramps, for dehydration, for glycemic levels to drop, for skin to chafe, for Heartbreak Hill, for the exhilaration of running in The Boston Marathon, and for the inimitable finish on Boylston Street among throngs of wildly cheering spectators. There's nothing like it. 

And as it turned out, there has never been anything like it. The unexpected "finish" to this legendary run is something no one has ever "prepared" for.  (Fortunately, the body of first responders and emergency and medical personnel in Boston were prepared or the list of dead or more seriously maimed would be much longer than it is.)  Who ever thinks that if you're in the right place, doing the right thing, surrounded by like kind, that a human-created tragedy of this nature would happen?  

After all, it's one thing when you're dealing with the aftermath of a natural disaster. Though many are still reeling from the effects of Hurricane Sandy in November and from Blizzard Nemo (and several of his friends) in February, throughout the land we're united as people dealing with the forces of nature. A human being is incapable of detonating storms of this magnitude, so we rally together to recover from such catastrophic events. They happen.  hey're part of the ebb and flow of natural episodes in meteorology.

But this. This strikes at the core of our confidence in humanity because "one (or more) of us"  did this to us. The vast majority of us cannot get our hearts and minds around the truth that we've been betrayed by our own. A human being (or beings) made and detonated the bombs with the intent of wounding and killing. It was pre-meditated. It was calculated. In cold blood.

Much was lost on Monday. From 2:50 p.m. onward, for hours that seemed eternal, "everyone and everything" seemed lost. Still-competing runners lost the finish line.  Spectators lost those they were there for. Backpacks and gear lost their owners. Designated volunteers lost their specified tasks. First Aid tents lost their purpose as they were repurposed as emergency rooms. Cell phones lost their reception. The beauty of the day was lost. The celebration of great accomplishments was lost. Lives were lost. Limbs were lost. Peace was lost. Innocence was lost.  

But in a strange twist, hatred and enmity were also lost, or more accurately, were re-focused from petty rivalries and dysfunctional relationships, from socio-economic class warfare, from ethnic and political tensions to One Common Enemy. Evil. Differences aside, rich and poor, black and white, Republican and Democrat, Yankees and Red Sox fans lost the drive to be against one another and united to be against the Evil that caused the Boston Marathon and Patriot's Day to be forever changed.  

The losses will continue to take their toll for days, weeks, months, years—and even a lifetime, for some. Though a modicum of "normal" will resume eventually, it will return as a "new normal", much like what exists at airports today as a nod to the 9/11 attacks in 2001.  Rivalries will resurface.  Our differences will at some point take center stage. "Sweet Caroline" will return to its exclusive place in Fenway Park.

Unless we decide to unite to fight the Real Enemy. The bombs were set by humans who have given themselves over to Extreme Evil. Hatred. Darkness. Hopelessness.

But truth be told, that very evil exists within each of us who would be human. It manifests itself in much lesser ways—at least, that are quantifiable by physical damage.  At the root of all evil is my selfishness. In a belief that "it's all about me." In petty jealousies and fleeting or not so fleeting thoughts which wish ill on others. In living for my own happiness.  Because I deserve it. 

Heroic acts were performed in legion numbers on Monday.  Some risked their lives to save others. People helped people. You need blood? You need a ride?  You need a bed?  You need a medal?  You need help?  You need a tourniquet?  You need to be carried? There was no shortage of good will and sacrifice on Monday.

That could be true on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, too.  We could emerge from this having lost much, but having gained more. Having lost a blind eye to the evil lurking in my soul, driving my self-centeredness, and choosing to live differently. With a heart for others that translates in to serving them. Loving them. Sacrificing for them.

In the words of Jim Elliot, who gave everything he had to sacrificially love others, "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose."  

This is Boston.