The Best Intentions . . .

The heavens declare the glory of God.  Sunrise, June 18th

It's ironic that the theme of Family Camps '12 is "The Intentional Family"...and it's not lost on me that though I've had good intentions to write an update for weeks now, I've not followed through very intentionally.  Not that I've been sitting around eating many bonbons...but still.  This late night attempt to catch up guarantees unusual brevity...and I'm counting on these pictures to paint many thousands of words.

I'm writing from the sacred cove of Campus by the Sea on Catalina Island, where we've been hanging out for the past 4.5 weeks in our 37th summer of being here as a couple.  We arrived June 18 along with our summer staff team to serve for 7 weeks — running six weeks of family camps, preceded by our orientation week.  As this would be our first summer with no daughters on staff, I'll admit that we arrived with at least a bit of sadness...and though we have missed them greatly, God has been more than faithful in bringing a wonderful team around us.  But first....

   

For the third year in a row, Lisa and I ran the Covered Bridges Half Marathon in Woodstock, VT, June 3.  This is such a beautiful race course and under robin-shell blue skies,  we completed our 5th run together (and my 6th half marathon since Nov. 2009.)  Paul, as usual, was our escort and he makes it so easy for us!  

Just after crossing the finish line, we were awarded our medals and were already talking about our next race.

We flew to Lancaster, CA, the next weekend to speak at Central Christian Church, and were honored to speak in this new venue.  We also consulted with Grace Baptist Church of Santa Clarita on developing a family ministries model at their church, which gave us some time with our dear friends and ministry partners, David and Cherylyn Hegg.  And we managed to squeeze in a lunch date with our mentors, John and Grace Tebay.  Rich, full days!

Back to Boston to get things wrapped up before the summer, we counseled, cleaned, and packed, and on Sat., June 16, we flew to CA to be with my folks to celebrate Father's Day.  My mom's health is much improved (PTL) and my dad seems to be holding his own.  Though brief, it was wonderful to be with them.

Happy Father's Day, Papa!

We arrived at camp on Monday, June 18, and we were off and running immediately.  Our program team gathered every morning to dive in to God's Word and to discuss the passages that would be used for the summer study.  We were immediately impressed with these college students and their insights into scripture, their character, and their openness.  We bonded fairly quickly and are really enjoying being in community "spurring one another on to love and good deeds."  We feel very blessed and very met by God to be partnering with them.

A highlight of our first days at camp was having Lou and Grace Charette join us for a bit.  They were on our staff in the late 80's, when Grace served as the head cook and Lou as the mechanic.  We have been fast friends ever since and have have watched God do amazing things in their marriage and family.  The staff were all deeply touched by their testimony, which they generously agreed to share during our all staff training time.  It was so good to catch up with them and celebrate God's faithfulness as they celebrated their 56th anniversary.  They inspired us all.

What a treat to have Lou and Grace Charette visit camp, 24 years after serving with us!

The program staff takes a photo break during staff training week.  They're a great group!

Family Camp 1 arrived June 24 and for the first time in our history, Paul and I were not at camp to welcome the campers.  That was strange!  We were in Aspen, CO, doing a wedding, and thankfully had very capable hands to carry on at CBS.  We were very happy to get back on the island before lunch on Monday, so we fortunately didn't miss much.  

We love family camps!  Everything about them.  The multi-generational presence.  The distraction-free environment.  The expectation and joy of the campers.  The way God works.  The beautiful setting.  The simplicity.  The purpose.  The transforming impact.  

"The Intentional Family" theme has been powerful.  It has provoked reflection and recommitment.  Each week we've heard testimony upon testimony of God's work in lives.  Humbling.

Family Camp 1 was extra special for us as Paul's oldest sister, Sandra, and her clan were in camp, as well as his sister Beth Smith, as well as our nephew Brian Rottschafer and his family.  We loved having late night hang-outs with them, sharing old memories, and making new ones.  Sweet times.

Extended Friesen family attended Family Camp 1, launching the summer with lots of laughter and energy.

Family Camp has many traditions . . . like singing the "Butterfly Song" every day, young and old; the annual original Game Show; great teaching from our wise speakers; the square, line, and swing dance; worship under that stars and around the fire ring followed by s'mores; the hike into Avalon; the milk carton boat race; the banquet.  Traditions connect the generations and create a secure foundation for changes that allow family camp to be fresh and inviting.  The mix of the known and unknown produces ongoing engagement and ownership.  

Game Show hosts Vanna and Paul Barker.

Each week we celebrate God's work in our midst.  Great teaching.  Worship.  Baptisms.  Reconciliations.  Confessions.  Prayers.

Paul had the privilege of baptizing Baker and Turner Welch in the chilly Pacific.

Family Camp 3 brought Kari, Gabe, and Brandon, as well as Lisa (who had just returned from Israel where she served on a summer missions project with Fellowship of Christian Athletes.)  It was SO wonderful to have them in camp with us (though all of us deeply missed having Derek and Julie with us, too) and Brandon managed to keep us all entertained with ease.  What a difference a year makes!  He was fully engaged in all the activities available, and especially enjoyed anything the included a ball.  We hiked, talked, swam, laughed, and had a blast.  It was hard to let them go after a week.

Gabe, Kari, Lisa and I hiked the loop together.

Brandon helped Papa with announcements at every meal.

Lunch at Antonio's Pizzeria in Avalon.

Loving playing on the mostly rocky beach at CBS.

Banquet night! By now, Brandon was down with an ear infection and wasn't too chipper, but the party continued.

Sending our little man back to Sacramento. The week passed way too quickly.

Family camp 4 at CBS is almost history and we have only 2 weeks left before we fly east to run our two family camps at Berea.  I wonder if the summer has passed as quickly for you as it has for us.  We'll cherish each day we have left in this beautiful place and be very intentional to maximize the opportunities unique to Campus by the Sea.  

I'm also committed to being very intentional about my intentions to post more often.   

Sunset on the same day, July 18.  Wow.

It can't be May already! [Part 2]

And so off to the Gold Coast of California we flew the morning of April 27.  Since we flew into San Francisco airport in order to facilitate our return trip 2.5 weeks later, we enjoyed the 2.5 hour drive through familiar territories en route to Arroyo Grande ("AG"), stopping in San Luis Obispo ("SLO") for bbq tri-tip at Firestones and frozen yogurt at Bali's (two of our favorite haunts from the years Julie and Lisa lived in SLO.)  Ah...the simple pleasures in life.

Grace Bible Church of AG hosted us for the second year in a row to do a parenting conference on Saturday.  Though the turnout was not what they had hoped for, those who came were delightfully engaged and we trust encouraged and fortified for the long, demanding, sanctifying journey of parenting.  We were also privileged to teach at the two services on Sunday.  Grace Bible is a healthy, vital church, lead by Paul and Charlotte Bubar who are seasoned, faithful people of God.  We truly love having the opportunity to rub shoulders with them.  

Paul and Charlotte Bubar faithfully lead the congregation at Grace Bible Church in Arroyo Grande, CA.

Up the coast just a bit, we drove to spend Sunday evening with Tim and Susie Theule and the family at Grace Church of SLO.  This was the home church for our girls during their years in SLO and through the years we've come to deeply respect and appreciate Tim and Susie - their ministry, their family, their lives.  So it's always an honor to spend time with them and their people.  That evening we addressed issues pertaining to parenting teens.  It struck us that though there are unique challenges to this age and stage, the principles are still largely consistent with parenting younger children:  authenticity, availability, consistency.  Especially regarding faith issues, teens need to see the reality of Christ in the home and be convinced that He is making a difference in how life is lived.  Teens are not fooled by walk that doesn't match talk.  We loved interacting on this subject with such proactive parents.  The talk continued afterwards with Tim and Susie over more tri-tip at Firestones.  :)

Tim and Susie Theule, along with CBS family campers Mary and David Hazlebeck, made our time at Grace Church SLO very meaningful.

Continuing up the coast, we stopped in Monterey to reconnect with our dear friends, Johnny and Lori Potter.  We shared our years together at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary from 1991-1994 and have been cherished friends ever since.  Johnny pastors Stone Harbor Church in downtown Monterey.  As is always true, we enjoyed every minute of our too short time together and then we were off to San Francisco, where we met up with more very dear friends, John and Marilyn Nugent.  How we love to spend time with these guys!  Taking a brisk 6-mile walk through downtown SF, we chatted the whole way about life and ministry and family.  The fact that we could chat  throughout the walk is a very good sign.  :)  It's always very inspiring to be with John and Marilyn.  We love their hearts for God and their very active role in making a difference for the kingdom through the use of their talents and resources.  We got another early morning walk in the next day before heading east for Sacramento.

Two hours later, our reunion with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon was very sweet.  As thankful as we are for being able to "FaceTime" with them regularly from afar, there's nothing that beats receiving an enthusiastic embrace from our little 20-month-old grandson.  The changes happen so rapidly during this phase of life, that though we had just seen him a month earlier, we were amazed at his growth and development.  He is full of life and has a very engaging personality.  What joy to spend days with them!  Twice-daily treks to the park, the reward for the two-mile walk preceding arriving there, delight Brandon and provide a lot of outdoor exercise and fun.   

Papa and Brandon enjoy the animals at the Folsom Zoo.

Papa, Gigi, and Brandon on the "little train that could" at the Folsom Zoo.

Bathtime . . . devotions, meals together, playing cars and ball . . . hanging out. Such sweet moments with our little "BooBoo."

Papa and Brandon . . . hand in hand.

Though visiting with them would be reason enough to be in Sacramento, we were brought there to be a part of the 7th annual THRIVE conference hosted by Bayside Church of Granite Bay.  We love being a part of this conference, which never lacks for enthusiasm, energy, and inspiration.  We presented two workshops, one on marriage and one on parenting, and both were full and overflowing.  Lots of great interaction and feedback.  We personally benefitted from hearing great speakers at the plenary sessions, and one of the highlights was spending a bit of time with Wess Stafford (president of Compassion Int'l).  We have great respect for him and how he's spent his life.  Over 2 million easily forgotten children in the world have hope because of the work of Compassion, which has been driven by Wess's passion and compassion. 

Wess Stafford,Victor, and Paul share a moment during THRIVE.

THRIVE ended Saturday afternoon, May 5, and we drove up to Sebastopol to speak for a couples' date night.  This was our second year in a row with Sebastopol Christian Church and John and Debbie Briones once again put together a really nice event.  Particularly heartening to us was a young couple who had come last year, separated, and were back this year reconciled.  They expressed great appreciation for the encouragement they had received from our teaching.  Praise Him!!!  Paul also preached at the two Sunday services, as well as the Saturday night service (which happened before the couples event.)  We so appreciate the senior pastor, Jesse Bradley, and his heart for his congregation.  

The other highlight of our time in Sebastopol was spending the night with Garth and Rosemary Dougan, our long time mentors and friends.  Garth will be 90 in October, but you'd never know it.  They are so "green with sap" proclaiming the mercies of God.  We cherish every moment with them.  

Dinner with the Welches and Garth and Rosemary Dougan was a highlight of our time in Santa Rosa.

We closed out our time in that area with a wonderful time of food and fellowship with Carter and Tracy Welch and their sons, Owen, Baker, and Turner.  New Englanders transplanted to Santa Rosa and dear friends and ministry partners with Home Improvement Ministries, we loved reconnecting with them and seeing God at work in this very intentional family.  On that high note, we drove back to Sacramento.

Between the weekends, we had some special days doing life with Brandon and his parents, and I had some special days with my folks in San Diego.  My dear mom, who has always been "healthy as a horse" was felled with a very serious virus around April 1 and was just returning to health during my visit.  She gave us quite a scare when the virus settled in her ears, causing near deafness.  Her severe reaction made us all aware of how run down she is for the years of caring for my dad (who has dementia) and more care is now in place to help ease her load.  I was really thankful for the days I was able to be with them, which included a day-before-Mother's-Day brunch with my three sisters who live in San Diego.  

My sisters Lucy, Sue, and Melissa honored my mom with a pre-Mother's Day brunch and my dad was very happy to be included.

Paul and I spoke on Mother's Day at Peninsula Covenant Church (Redwood City), whose lead pastor, Gary Gaddini, is a prized friend and partner.  What a joy to be with his congregation for both morning services.  My biggest Mother's Day gift arrived in the form of Brandon, Gabe, and Kari, who drove out from Sacramento to surprise me just as the first service ended.  Need I say more?  :)

My surprise Mother's Day present . . . brought smiles all around.

The beautiful Gaddini family . . .  They are true gifts in our life.

After a lovely picnic at a park with the Garcias and the Nugents, a brisk walk through the windy hilly streets of SF, and dinner out with the Nugents, we were on our way back to New England after a full and varied ministry tour.

The grand finale: lunch in the park with the Nugents and Garcias.  Very fun!

It's aways good to be home.  Really.  Lots to catch up on, of course, and mail to sort, but it's good.  Our first week back was dominated by wedding festivities as Paul married Sarah Hathaway and Jason Welch on Sunday, May 20.   Having known Sarah for the past 15 years, it was so good to celebrate this very special day with her and to affirm her and Jason's commitment to honoring God with their lives.  The shower Wednesday night, the rehearsal Friday night, and the wedding Sunday were all celebrations of joy.  

The very happy Hathaway family celebrates the marriage of Sarah to Jason Welch.

Quite a bit of counseling filled several days and some speaking, too.  We spoke in Springfield, MA, at the Evangelical Covenant Church on Monday, the 21st, to a group of parents on "how to keep your marriage alive while raising children."  Great question!!!!  It doesn't happen naturally, that we know.  It was a great evening, organized by long time friends Mark and Caroline Funchion, and we most enjoyed reconnecting with them after many years.  I mentored Caroline as a single women long before she met Mark!  They're now on the cusp of their 11th anniversary and have 2 adorable and lively little boys.  God is faithful!

I'll wrap up with our annual Memorial Day Family Tenting trip, which happened last weekend.  Twenty-five families, 103 campers, perfect weather, great food, and greater fellowship.  Despite missing having any children with us (our tent seemed very large suddenly) and making our first camping trip without our precious dog Baker (who had been with us the previous 18 Memorial Day weekends), we had a spectacular weekend.  Jim and Sue Martis did a great job organizing and executing dinner each night and Paul delivered on family devotions each night around the campfire.  Keith and Amy Hinrich came through as worship leaders and Thora Eames made a guest appearance as our oldest and most inspiring camper ever.  At 94, she delighted all with her joyful worship and her childlike enjoyment of a messy, gooey s'more.  Our annual Memorial Day parade was rag tag but meaningful.  Veteran Glen Franks once again served as our Grand Marshall.

Thora delighting in her beautiful garden.

S'mores are enjoyed by all ages.

Let the Memorial Day parade begin!  Mount your steeds . . .

. . .  and we're off, with Grand Marshall Glenn Franks leading the way.

And so another Memorial Day camping trip is in the annals of time, having accomplished the purpose of providing a community building experience for families committed to being encouraged by the body of Christ by doing life together.  

I'm writing from West Cornwall, CT, as Paul and I spend the fifth year in a row encouraging the pastoral staff at Avon Community Baptist Church.  These days are like a slice of heaven, really.  A beautiful retreat center, surrounded by a healthy church staff, lead by two of our favorite ministry couples:  Tim and Sharon Ponzani and Jay and Liz Abramson.  It really doesn't get much better than this.  Oh wait!  It does!  Our daughter Lisa has joined us here!  Last night she spoke on the blessings and challenges of being raised in a pastor's family and she knocked it out of the park.  Wow.

Around the world, Derek and Julie are into their 10th month of marriage and spent 10 days recently on their "real" honeymoon in Mauritius.  Their days were relaxing, renewing, and celebratory of all that is good in marriage.  We are so thankful for their life together in Uganda and look forward to joining them there in late August.

Derek and Julie in a self-portrait from Mauritius.

Shockingly, in a few hours, the days of May will expire and we'll be in June.  I'm trying to catch up with the quickly moving calendar days, but don't have much hope of that happening.  Mostly praying that we'll allow the Holy Spirit to direct our days and rest in knowing that we've done what He's called us to do.

It can't be May already . . . [Part 1]

Welcome to my “Gigi”’s delinquent blog.  I’m only part of the reason she’s so far behind . . . but I think I’m the favorite reason.  :)

Though the calendar says it’s May 28, I’m having a very hard time believing it.  The past two months since my last post have all but evaporated.  As we return to Boston after spending Memorial Day weekend camping at Myles Standish State Forest with 100 family campers,  I'll begin reflecting on how God has met us. And to ensure that this is not an overwhelmingly long blog post, this will be “Part 1.”

My last blog was written from California, during a two-and-a-half-week west coast junket.  That time, which began with a meaningful marriage conference at The Journey Church in El Segundo, California, ended with the marriage of our nephew Mark Herbst and his bride, Angie.  What a wonderful celebration it was to join with most of the extended Friesen clan (including all of our immediate family except Derek and Julie) in honoring Mark and Angie's commitment to Christlikeness as singles and now as a married couple.  The setting, on the beach at Dana Point, was spectacularly beautiful, and Angie's grandfather was inspiring as he boomingly preached their wedding service with passion and conviction that would belie his 80-plus-year life.  It was truly a celebration of all that is good and we were thrilled and honored to be there.

Cousins . . . celebrating the wonderfully God-honoring marriage of Mark Herbst and his bride Angie.

Gabe and Brandon enjoyed the lively coastline during the ceremony.

Besides the wedding, the highlight for us was being with our kids and, of course, Brandon.  He is one very fun little guy and we're all kind of mesmerized as we watch his curiosity unfold in discovery.  He doesn't miss a thing, and in his own language, narrates life as he sees it.  We had a blast being together.

Back home Monday, April 2—briefly—before heading to Harrisonburg, Virginia, to spend Easter with Lisa.  We had been wanting to get down her way and this presented the best opportunity schedule-wise, so off we went on Good Friday.  We had a great time with her, just hanging.  A little shopping, a little yard sale-ing, a little running, a little entertaining.  A lot of talking and laughing.  Easter Sunday, full of sunshine, blue skies, and fragrant blossoms, was packed with joyful celebration, starting with our traditional breakfast of almond puff pastry fashioned in the shape of a cross and followed by gathering with the church.  Her church included the singing of many traditional Easter hymns, which connected us with memories spanning the decades.  We hosted dinner for a number of her FCA leadership team and over a delicious table, and enjoyed sharing family traditions celebrating this significant Holy Day and faith stories from each one's life.  The grand finale was an Easter egg hunt in her yard; we never really outgrow the delight of that childhood event!  Couldn't have been a better day, affirming the hope-giving resurrection of Christ!  We wrapped up that trip Monday, returning home that night with hearts full of gladness that we had gone.

Lisa and some of her FCA volunteers celebrate Easter together.

Engagement Matters was the main event of the next weekend, April 13-15, and we were thrilled to have a sold-out conference with 22 couples (six of whom came in from Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and California)!  The California couple stayed with us and we thoroughly enjoyed having Kevin and Rawni in our home.  Many conversations were had throughout the weekend regarding making “the second most important decision in life,” and we were impressed with the process these couples were engaged in to confirm God's best. 

Engagement Matters was packed and inspiring.

We love Engagement Matters weekends, and this one definitely will rank among one of the best ever.  So many thoughtful, engaging couples, striving to hear from the Lord regarding their potential marriages.  Great questions.  Great interaction.  Great "aha!" moments.  Our passion for this weekend grows, especially as the disillusionment with marriage increases.  Marriage really isn't the problem; selfishness and an increasingly skewed view of God's design for marriage are.

Taking advantage of being "in town" for EM, we spoke for a Friday Date Night at North Shore Community Baptist Church the 13th (always love partnering with them), had 3 of our EM couples for dinner Saturday night (great time!), and on Sunday evening met with a sweet high school group lead by Dan and Lois Frasier who have been using Paul's Discussion Guide for Letters to My Daughters over the past several months.  That was especially delightful as we interacted with them on the impact of Letters on the decisions they were making regarding relationships.  Though packed and at least somewhat exhausting, we valued every moment of the weekend.

Dan and Lois Frasier lead this group of teens through Letters to My Daughters using Paul's new discussion guide.

As tempting as it was to sleep in on Patriot's Day, the lure of the reenactment of the first battle of the Revolutionary War on the Lexington Green . . . and the promise of 60 degree temps at 5 am (the ungodly hour of this historical event) and the fact that we had two Californians staying with us, all combined to compel us to pile in the car at 4 am and be among the thousands to experience this unique event.  It had been several years since we had gone, and truth be told, it's one of our family traditions that our girls would just as soon have skipped (after the first time.)  None expressed regret that they were not with us this year.  Even so, we had a great time and memories were made.  :)

Kevin Munsey and his fiance Rawni flew out from California for Engagement Matters and we hosted them at our home.

We had the honor of speaking at the 1st Presbyterian Church of Ipswich the next weekend.  What a delightful group of people came out Friday night and Saturday to wrestle with "The Irony of Intimacy."  This church, which we attended from time to time when we lived on campus at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, has a long history of faithfully preaching the gospel and it was a joy to reconnect with them.  

The weekend also was highlighted by reconnecting with some dear friends.  Helen Challener drove from Glenville, NY, to spend several days with us.  Time with Helen is beyond fun.  She makes us laugh like few others and that's just one of the gifts she brings.  Another dear friend, Dave Bullock, also drove in.  Not by car . . . but on his Harley, from Milwaukee!  It had been too long since we last saw Dave and his son Al, so it was a joy to go to church together and then catch up over a plate of fried clams in Essex.  Great weekend.

Just before heading to California on the 27th, we celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary.  That's starting to sound like a really long time, but in all honesty, it doesn't feel like a really long time.  We are blessed.

Our engagement photo in March 1976.  :)

From Snow to Surf

We waited a long time for it, but winter finally made an appearance in New England the first weekend of March.  Barely.  It squeaked in just as Danny and Rayna Oertli were flying in from Denver, Colorado, to lead worship at our H.I.M. Marriage Getaway in Newport, Rhode Island, and the snow added a festive touch to their arrival.  Fortunately, it had no impact on our weekend conference, as the weather cleared out and warmed up by the time we launched on Friday, March 2.

New England made Danny and Rayna Oertli feel right at home with a small snowstorm to herald their arrival.

We love this annual conference at the Viking Hotel in Newport.  The setting is spectacular, the hotel service is top-shelf, and there always seems to be a spirit of anticipation that God will meet us in a big way.  This year was no exception.  Eighty-five couples were warmly welcomed by our smiling registration team first, and then by beautifully set tables as they entered the ballroom.  Kelly Plosker gave the Macraes a break this year by taking over the decoration task and did a great job of setting the stage for a romantic getaway.  We feel so blessed to have such a capable team around us, who take care of everything from the book table to the printing and everything in between.

The tables were set and ready for the couples’ arrival Friday night.

The room was full of couples seeking encouragement, renewal, relaxation, reconnection, and fun.

The H.I.M. Board once again insisted that Paul and I speak for this conference.  We resisted initially, but then submitted and considered it a great honor and privilege to speak to the hometown crowd.  It's always more challenging to prepare to speak at "home" to people who know us well and have heard us many, many times.  But God was with us and we felt met by Him.  We especially enjoyed developing a talk on “Friendship in Marriage,” which at first blush sounds unromantic.  But it's our growing conviction that maintaining friendship in marriage is a key to growing vitality and deepening love.  Many couples who come to us for counseling complain that though they're committed to staying together, they really don't like each other any more.  True friends don't say that about their relationship.  We had fun working with the concept.

Besides our four plenary sessions, we had some great workshops offered and inspiring worship led by the Oertlis.  We purposely leave Saturday afternoon free for couples to reconnect (which we feel is the greatest need for most couples on a getaway weekend), and the Lord provided bright sunny skies for those who ventured out.  From the things we could control to the things we couldn't, all went swimmingly and we were encouraged to hear many affirming comments on the weekend experience.  Here are a few of them:

"Thanks again to you and Paul for a great weekend.  One of the takeaways was that we really need to understand God's word as written in the Bible more and to live according to His word.  The weekend taught me that our 'instructions' on life according to God's plan are all there in the Bible."

"Thank you so much for putting together the weekend retreat.  We got so much out of it; it is hard to adequately describe the impact that it had on us.  Our marriage and our relationship with God is so much better for the time we spent in Newport.  The speakers, the workshops, the worship—all were incredible!  This was the first marriage retreat we have attended; you've set the bar awfully high!"

"Another wonderful weekend by Home Improvement Ministries. Thank you for investing in our lives and marriages. May God continue to bless your ministry." 

This photo partially represents the team who worked very hard to make this weekend happen.  We are so blessed!

The H.I.M. Board met Monday night, the 5th of March, and discussed strategies for increasing the impact of HIM.  We continue to be so grateful for such a supportive group of men and women who invest greatly and sacrificially in this ministry. It is certainly an understatement that we couldn't do it without them.

After a couple of days of counseling, we packed our bags and flew to Detroit for several days of ministry with Ann Arbor Christian School.  Our longtime friends Wai and Elaine Wong (who lived in Boston previously and were very involved with us 2000-2005) arranged for us to come to serve their school community.  We had a blast!  They put together a very diverse schedule for us, starting with an early morning parenting seminar Friday.  The small crowd they expected multiplied and filled the library.  Perhaps word got out that Paul Friesen's "breakfast biscuits" (aka his chocolate chip cookies) would be served.  Whatever, it was a great start to a full couple of days.  Next on the schedule was speaking for the school-wide chapel, and Paul's cookies were served there as part of the devotional.  The Wong girls said that Uncle Paul was the best chapel speaker ever.  :)  Admittedly he had an unfair advantage with his world-famous cookies.  :)

Chapel was followed by a delightful lunch at our niece, Heidi Rottschafer Lemmerhirt's home, with her husband, Dave, and children, Daniel and Anna.  We loved being in their hospitable home and reconnecting with them.  Next was a meeting with one of the pastors from Heidi and Dave's church who is developing a family ministries emphasis.  Almost nothing gets our adrenaline going more than being part of a conversation focused on equipping and encouraging churches to address this "blind spot" in many of our churches today.   We had a great, stimulating time with Tom and Ruth Ann Robertson.

We closed out the day with an evening marriage seminar at the school.  The turn-out was great and our talks well-received.  We were especially thrilled to have Joe and Lynn Forrester in the audience.  They drove down from the Upper Peninsula (Cedarville) for the conference to put live faces with a relationship that began online just over a year ago.

The back story begins when an order for a case of

Letters to My Daughters

came in from Michigan.  Paul didn't recognize the name of the customer, so he sent an email asking who they were and why they wanted a case of books.  Joe wrote back:

Our organization typically does 50 gift bags for high school graduations.  A recent graduate recommended your book.  We obtained a copy. Read it and immediately decided we needed more copies. The book is so needed today and the way it was put together is outstanding.  Thank you for all your insights.  God bless you, Joe and Lynn

We couldn't wait to meet this couple!  Both retired from the U.S. Navy and are fully engaged in serving the next generation where they are.  They have already given out hundreds of copies of

Letters

and have a vision that every high school senior girl will get a copy of it in the years to come.  It was truly a highlight of our weekend to spend some time with them.  They’re Christ-followers, living missionally, and making a difference.  They are tilling the soil to have us come to their area to do a marriage/family conference in 2013.  What a privilege to partner with such "we're not gonna waste our life" folks.  They wrote us after the weekend:

Paul:

It was a very special educational experience for us.  We certainly enjoyed meeting the Wongs and your niece and nephew.

We knew Virginia was going to be exceptional from her book.  What we did not know was what a great team the two of you make.

Lynn and I discussed so many new ideas on the way home that we almost reached overload.  The Lord knows our limits so we feel he will not give us anything we cannot handle.

We really liked the idea of putting together a series of seminars at Cedar Campus during the first week of June in 2013.  Now we have to work out the local details and then we will get back to you with specific proposals.

May God see you safely home,

Joe

Chapel at Ann Arbor Christian School.  We were so impressed with the well-behaved, attentive students, ranging in age from pre-K through 8th grade.

Joe and Lynn Forrester drove over 7 hours to attend the seminars at AACS and we were delighted to put real faces to the names we'd been in contact with for over a year.

And that was Friday!!

Saturday started early as we met with the Forresters before the morning seminar on parenting.  The whole morning went really well and we were truly honored to partner with the Wongs and their vision for their school community.  We also enjoyed connecting with Wayne Sit, the headmaster of the school for the past 2.5 years, and were happily surprised to know that we were familiar to him since Boston and Park Street Church were home to him prior to his move to Ann Arbor.  He was extremely supportive of our time there and sent us this kind note:

"Thank you for coming.  We felt so blessed and grateful for your guidance and leadership this weekend.  Many families at our school were thrilled with their time with you and Virginia."  A return trip is in the works.

The rest of our weekend was spent hanging with several dear friends, along with the Wongs.  The time passed too quickly and before we knew it, we were on a flight back to Boston, carrying with us many precious memories of a wonderful weekend.  It was especially encouraging to “do life” with the Wongs, who are deeply committed to honoring the Lord in their marriage and their family.  Their home was marked with Christlikeness and was refreshing to our souls.

Jessica, Leilani, and Jasmine show us a fort they built in their spacious back yard.

I just love this photo of the Wong girls.  It prompts many memories of years gone by with our three.

At church Sunday morning, we stood in front of the photo of their newly "adopted through support" African child.

Back home . . . briefly.  Counseling, unpacking, speaking at a moms’ group at Bethany Gospel Chapel in Swansea, repacking . . . and then off to California to speak at Journey of Faith Church in El Segundo.  This conference has been a long time coming, and we were so happy it came together.  Our very longtime friends Gene and Teri Engle hosted us in their always-open home that Friday night and we enjoyed the evening with their family.  The all-day Saturday marriage conference was held at the church, which was dry and warm while a ferocious rain storm swept through the area in the morning.  Those who planned the conference had the brilliant foresight to provide a counterpart children's program which enable many young families to benefit from the day.  We were especially touched by the entourage of Air Force couples who drove from Edwards AFB east of Lancaster to attend the conference.  It would be hard to find a more responsive and receptive audience than we did there.  Once again, we were aware that God was with us.  After each event, we thank Him for being the change agent in people's lives.  We're called to be faithful; He's in charge of changing lives.

The Engles and the Harts (David and Krista Engle Hart and Abigail) are dear friends and partners in ministry at CBS as well as at Journey of Faith.

Over 200 people came out on this rainy St. Patrick’s Day for the marriage conference at Journey of Faith.

We were thrilled to have five Air Force couples from Edwards AFB attend the conference.  Two of the women had been at the women's conference I spoke for last year in Oahu.

Because of canceling our “Worth It” conference which had been scheduled for March 24, and because of our nephew’s wedding in California on March 31, we decided to stay west through his wedding and take a writing break.  We're both working on projects which have been all but neglected for too long and know that we need blocks of time in order to make progress.  So, after spending a couple of days with my folks in San Diego (a delight as always), we're hiding out in Camarillo in the home of some dear friends who currently reside outside of the U.S.  Our first few days here have been fraught with distractions, some of our own making, and others of satan's making.  We’re attributing some crazy problems with my computer to the latter.  Things are settling in now, though, and we’re beginning to make some progress.  Pray that these days will be productive and that we'll allow the Holy Spirit to direct our writing.

Before I sign off, let me briefly update you on the family:  Derek and Julie are happily settling in Mbale.  Though their first seven weeks have been buffeted by some trials, they're riding the waves together well.  They blog here

Julie's doing a great job of keeping us in the loop of their life in Africa.  Lisa spent an indulged week in Costa Rica with the JMU women's soccer team, which was a delightful break for her from her rigorous schedule as an athletic trainer.  And Gabe, Kari, and Brandon are in transition, having resigned from their work at "The House" Church.  They are seeking God for the next chapter of their life.

So we’ve left the not-too-wintery environs of New England for the beautiful coastline of California, and are soaking in the natural gifts of this area.  As much as we love snow, if push comes to shove, the surf is going to win . . . most every time.

Leaping through February

As the first real snowstorm of the quickly-coming-to-a-close winter “that wasn’t” blankets the area, I’m happily snuggled at home absolutely delighting in this thoroughly unexpected twist of nature.  My “Let It Snow” collection of pleading signs that have greeted every visitor to our home this winter have been ignored by the Great Snow Maker...until now.  LET IT SNOW!!!!

This is the perfect scenario for writing an overdue blog entry... and on leap day, no less.  We have been home eight days since I last wrote...which explains why I feel very far behind on most maintenance issues.  Our travels have taken us to CA, NY, and FL, and each trip has been full of people, ministry, and delight.

Backing up to Feb. 3, when I returned from London, I had no time to get over anything before we were in the saddle Saturday a.m. teaching at our H.I.M.-hosted parenting conference.  Though the turn-out for it was disappointing, those who attended were very affirming of its value.  Between the workshops and the plenary sessions, there was plenty of energy and hunger for encouragement and instruction.

It was interesting to juxtapose the seeming lack of priority placed on attending a parenting conference (too busy, kids' sports, no babysitter, etc.) with the immense amount of time and energy invested in being prepared for the biggest football game of the year which happened the following day.  There were no lack of callers-to-sports-radio from armchair coaches who had clearly spent a lot of time analyzing the Patriots and developing a game plan that would produce the desired results.  If fathers spent a fraction of the time investing in developing a game plan for their families...and then showing up to coach them through the "game of life," our homes would be so different.

Super Bowl Sunday started for us at Highrock Church, where we heard a challenging message by David Swaim, and was followed by a trip to Plymouth to visit our dear Thora Eames.  She was recovering from hip replacement surgery, necessitated by an unfortunate fall off a ladder while washing her outside windows (Why not?  Isn’t that what all 94-year-olds do on a Saturday afternoon?).  We had a great visit with her and were most encouraged that her spunk and spirit were not dampened in the least.  We presented her with a new Patriots shirt to wear as she watched the game that night as she is a diehard, energetic fan.  Her son instructed the nurse to seatbelt Thora in her wheelchair during the game to keep her from leaping to her feet during happy moments (and dislocating the newly located hip!)  We left so inspired  by her amazing life.

Paul presented Thora with a shirt to wear during the Super Bowl, and Thora was more than thrilled.

So . . . the game didn't go how we had wanted/hoped/expected/prayed.  It was heartbreaking for so many reasons, but mostly because of our personal relationship with a number of the players and their families.  They really left it all on the field and it's hard to come up short.  Fortunately, there's much more to life than football and we move on.

After a board meeting and a day of counseling, we flew to California for a return visit to the Desert Vineyard in Lancaster/Palmdale.  This was our third trip there in a year and each time we're with David and Nancy Parker (lead pastor and wife) and their crew, we're more impressed with what they're doing and with how God is using them.  We kicked off our time by speaking for the Antelope Valley Ministerial Association's monthly luncheon on Thursday.  We were amazed at the broad representation of area churches in attendance and had many conversations that gave us glimpses into the greater work in that area.  It's so encouraging to see churches working together to make an impact for the kingdom!

That night, the church hosted a Couples' Fiesta Date Night, and they pulled out all the stops!  From a beautifully decorated room to live Mariachis and a delicious catered Mexican feast, the ambience was set for a delightful evening.  The sold-out crowd was full of energy and didn't run out of it until we were done speaking.  It was an extremely well done evening.

The Mariachis set the tone for a great evening at Desert Vineyard.

The catered Mexican feast was enjoyed at colorfully set tables.

Friday morning, after a very fun visit with some friends, we drove to Westlake Village for the weekend marriage conference for Desert Vineyard.  There was a huge response to the conference, and we're convinced that when the senior pastor leads by example and attends the marriage conference his church is promoting, there is greater buy-in by the congregation.  It sure was a bonus for us to grab moments with David and Nancy throughout the weekend.  So many in that congregation have become dear to us over this past year!  And we "owe it all" to Tommy and April Garcia, long time CBS family campers, who got the ball rolling for us at DV.

The conference was packed out, with couples from all ages and stages of married life.

Tommy and April Garcia convinced David Parker that he should have us come and speak at Desert Vineyard.

All too quickly, our five days with Desert Vineyard were up and as we said our good-byes, we felt like we were leaving very dear friends.

Since it was only Sunday afternoon, why not do another event?  On to Yorba Linda we drove (about an hour south) to speak at "The Rock" for their Valentine's Date Night.  This was also the second year in a row with this group, headed by Brent and Melissa Slezak, and we had a great night.  The Slezaks have such strong ministry gifts and such a deep passion for family and marriage, so it's a real joy to partner with them.  The evening was beautifully done, from the decorations to  the dinner, and we had a very receptive audience to speak to.  We loved every minute of it.

Brent and Melissa Slezak did a great job on the Valentine's Date Night at The Rock.

Since "all work and no play make one dull" we took Monday to play. . . at Disneyland.  The Slezaks made that possible (Brent is employed by Disneyland) and we had a really fun day at the Magic Kingdom and California Land.  Just honing our skills for our grandchildren . . . :)

We never tire of nor get too old for the fun of the Magic Kingdom.  

We flew home on Valentine’s Day and spent a full day Wednesday counseling, and an equally full day Thursday with various events, the highlight of which was our end-of-the-season celebration dinner with our New England Patriots couples Bible study group.  Unfortunately, between those who had already left town for "home" and others who had had surgeries, our group was rather small—but we had a really great evening together.  Don and Betsy Hasselbeck were surprised when Paul read the dedication of the study he wrote for our group this fall ("Jesus on Marriage") to them.  We are so grateful for their partnership!

Off we drove the next morning...for upstate New York!  Glens Falls to be exact!  We were privileged to do our first conference for the Pine Knolls Alliance Church and were so pleased to feel very much at home with them right off the bat.  Richard and Amy Dean, who came to Engagement Matters many years ago, planned the conference and overlooked no detail.  They did a great job of covering the bases and the conference ran very smoothly  They had a great turn-out and we were thankful for a very enthusiastic audience.  The conference ran Friday night and all day Saturday.  On Sunday, we spoke for two Sunday School classes on marriage.  We had a great experience and are so thankful for what they have going at that vital church.

We spoke to a packed out conference for Pine Knolls Alliance Church in Glens Falls, NY.

Richard and Amy Dean did a masterful job of planning the conference.

We drove back home, after a stop in Glenville, NY, for dinner with our dear friends Bill and Helen Challener, and were thankful for non-winter weather that made the drive very easy.

Continuing the rhythm, we unpacked, did laundry, and repacked, counseled for a full day, and then were off again.  Destination:  Florida!  Conference:  Pro Athletes Outreach, for the 12th year.

We love this conference.  PAO is committed to putting together a high quality program, steeped in solid Biblical teaching, and this year was no exception.  Dr. Tony Evans and Louie Giglio were two of the best who gave challenging, brilliant messages to this group of professional football players and their wives.  Paul and I did our temperaments workshop twice, and spent a lot of time interacting.  It was great for us to reconnect with many ex-Pats as well as others who have become friends through the years.  Our Lisa flew in during the conference to join me for an after-conference event and we loved having her with us.

David and Kassidy (and Karis) Thomas, Doris Simmons-Woods, Thomas and Margaret Austin, and Janelle David — all ex-Pats — loved reconnecting at PAO.

And about that after-conference event: Lisa and i joined 20,000 other Princesses (with a few Princes thrown in) to run the Disney Princess Half-Marathon that Sunday morning.  This was our 4th half-marathon together (my fifth and her seventh) and we both agreed it was our best.  Not our best time (though almost) but certainly the most fun.  Taking full advantage of the princess theme, we "fit in" with our self-fashioned princess garb and enjoyed the cool, overcast morning run from Epcot through the Magic Kingdom and back.  It touches me so deeply that Lisa is willing to run a much slower race so she can run with me.  That's sacrifice.

At 4 am, getting ready to run . . .

Two hours and thirty five minutes later, we crossed the line and got our beautiful medals.  :)

So that's the month in a nutshell.  It was fast.  It was fun.  It was full.
And it ends with snow.  Leaping with joy . . . and looking forward to tubing tomorrow.  At last.

Good-bye and Hello

Only a very few days into the new year, we said good-bye to one of the best gifts to us from the years we served on the staff of Grace Chapel.  Claude Cole, 94-years-old, was released from his suffering body as he breathed his last on earth.  Though it wasn't "hard" to accept his death (as it is with early or tragic deaths), we experienced a profound sense of loss accompanying our deep gratitude to the Lord for allowing our lives to intersect on such a personal level with such a great man.

At Claude's 90th birthday celebration, he and Forestine are flanked by four of their great fans: John and Marilyn Nugent and us.

Claude was a faithful man of God, who, along with his wife, Forestine, joined forces with four other couples back in 1948 and prayed and sacrificed to birth Grace Chapel.  As recounted by his daughter Claudia at his funeral, he was a man of extraordinary faith whose belief in God's power and presence was unshakeable.

Though many things endeared us to Claude, at the top of the list (behind his faith) was his commitment to and love for his precious Forestine.  His love for her not only never wavered, but seemed to grow stronger when the effects of her dementia became impossible to ignore.  Statistically, when a man is afflicted with Alzheimers Disease, 70% of their wives stay with them and care for them.  When a wife is so afflicted, only 30% of their husbands stay with them and care for them.  We knew Claude was in the cream of the crop long before Forestine began losing her mind, but through the years of caring for her until her death, Claude demonstrated over and over the stuff he was made of.  He was deeply in love with her all his days.  He set the bar.

So 2012 was ushered in with Claude's farewell, and Paul did a beautiful job of tributing him at his funeral.  We were so thankful that our whole family was able to attend the funeral the morning prior to Derek catching his flight to Uganda and Gabe, Kari, and Brandon catching their flight to Sacramento.  Our desire to meet up with Thora Eames (who along with her husband Elliot was one of the five GC-founding couples) was also fulfilled that day, as she came up from Duxbury to pay tribute to Claude.  (The Cole and Eames families were best friends for many years.)  We were all so happy to catch up with this dear friend whose "full speed ahead" life at 94 inspires us!!!

After Claude's funeral, we caught up with our beloved Thora.

Julie, Lisa, and I drove down to southern Pennsylvania on Friday, Jan. 6, so Julie could attend a prep course for her Physical Therapy board exam.  Continuing to seize fleeting moments with influential elders, Lisa and I visited Barbara Boyd on Saturday while Julie was in class.  Barbara, now 88, was one of Paul's parents’ best friends and colleagues.  She retired from a lifelong career with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship some years ago after faithfully investing in making disciples through the discipleship program she developed for IVCF, Bible and Life.  I was thrilled that Lisa was able to hear stories of her grandparents from one who knew them very well...and to hear the heart of a devoted woman of God whose life didn't go exactly as planned.  Barbara's fiance, Ralph Willoughby, a promising Christian leader and rising star, died 4 days after contracting an unidentified virus, and Barbara has never met a man she wanted to marry after him.... "yet!" she said with a twinkle and a smile.  Far from bitter, Barbara lights up as she speaks of the unmitigated joy she's had in serving her Lord by helping others discover the matchless riches of His Word.  Listening to her talk was sacred, to be honest.  What a privilege.  So now, only Kari hasn't met this remarkable lady and I'm praying that day will come.

Lisa continued south to Harrisonburg as Julie and I returned to New England on Sunday, Jan. 8.  It was great to get home to a de-Christmased home (thank you, Paul!) and to spend a few days regrouping following our wonderful two-week Christmas vacation with our kids.  Especially fun was having Julie with us for the month as she continued preparing for her PT boards.  Counseling resumed, we had a H.I.M. Board meeting, and we were quickly back in the saddle.

Fifteen families gathered at the Boxborough Holiday Inn over Martin Luther King's holiday weekend for our annual Family Mid-Winter Getaway, and the balmy weather departed just in time for a cold weekend, making the indoor swimming pool even more appreciated.  It's a very low-key weekend with minimal programming, and lots of time for hanging out, enjoying community.  We were especially impressed with the teens, who fully integrated with the younger kids and made it a very fun weekend for all. They give us great hope for the next generation.

Brian Dietz once again lead worship for the Family Mid-Winter Getaway and had enthusiastic support for the "Butterfly Song" from all ages.

The family groups circle up for discussion during the "program" time of the weekend.

It was also really nice to celebrate a big Patriots win over the Broncos that weekend.  The last two Family Mid-winter getaways have not produced such good results for our boys, so we all enjoyed the win.  However, we also agreed that we're all big Tebow fans, so we're sorry he had to lose in order for us to win that weekend.  Even so, there was plenty of Tebow talk throughout the weekend as we all could celebrate his incredible impact on the NFL world with the message of the gospel, which leaves all things temporal (even football) in the dust.  What a difference maker he is!!

We hit the road the next weekend, after a month's hiatus from airports.  Off to Rome and Athens (in Georgia!) we went, after flying in to Atlanta.  It was such a joy to be picked up at the airport by Nate and Jeannie King, and to have many hours with them throughout the weekend as they served as our personal chauffeurs.  Our speaking engagement was with the 1st Presbyterian Church of Rome, and their annual marriage conference was held in the Brasstown Resort.  It was such an upscale place that the rain all weekend didn't really dampen anyone's experience!  This was the second year in a row we've done their marriage conference, so we felt very connected with the group.  We had a great weekend.

As soon as the conference ended on Sunday, the Kings whisked us up to Athens, GA, where we had a very important date with the TV to watch the AFC playoff game.  :)  We had the privilege of watching it with Kevin "Chappie" and Mikki Hynes, who serve with FCA at University of Georgia.  Mikki's brother is Coach Mark Richt, head coach of Georgia football and the one who honored James David Eunice (our 17-year-old friend who died a year ago in a duck hunting accident) with a Georgia jersey at his funeral.   Small world.  "Chappie" lacks no enthusiasm for football so we held nothing back in that nail-biter of a game against the Ravens.  Whew!!

Minutes after the Patriots defeated the Ravens, we pose for a celebratory shot with the Hynes family, Nate and Jeannie King, and Jill Perry.  Go Pats!!

With our hearts still racing and our adrenaline still pumping, we drove with Chappie and Jill Perry, also on FCA staff, to the campus to speak to the FCA meeting that night.  What fun!  To a room packed full of Division I athletes, we talked relationships and God's design.  It was very energizing for us and thought-provoking for them, which spawned many conversations long after the talk ended.  We loved it.  We were so encouraged by what's happening through FCA at UGA.

After most of the attendees had dispersed, we gathered the remnant for this shot after the FCA meeting at UGA.

Interacting with a very responsive crowd, we felt right at home at the FCA meeting.

A shot into the crowd . . . athletes from football, basketball, gymnastics, tennis, track and field, etc., gathered to talk about relationships.

Jill Perry wrote the following day: "It was a wonderful night. The students I meet with for weekly discipleship have shared with me how much it deeply impacted them. We had a huge turnout! What a blessing!”

I can assure you, the blessing was ours.  We love to interact with students who are leaning in to a godly view of relationship rather than a cultural view.  As we said to them, our great sadness for their generation is that they've been lied to since they were little about their sexuality and the nature and purpose of relationships.  For many of them, gaining a Biblical perspective is relatively new.  What a joy to be part of that process.

We flew back to Boston on Monday (after getting at least a couple of hours with the four precious King children) and we made the most of the 24 hours we were home to help Julie with her final preparations for moving to Uganda as soon as her boards were taken on Monday, Jan. 30.  We did a few errands, some baking, a bit of sewing - but mostly we marveled at how much work she had done and how well organized and prepared she was for this major transition.  We squeezed everything we could out of those brief hours and then boarded a plane for Spokane, WA, to partner for the 4th time in 5 years with the Moses Lake Alliance Church (MLAC).  We have very deep hearts for this congregation and are so honored to return.

Though short, we had a sweet morning with the King children before leaving GA for home.

Kent (executive pastor of MLAC) and Staci Copley picked us up and we picked up with one another as good friends do.  We really do love hanging with these guys and their daughters, Tori and Britni.  We are terribly amused by one another on one hand, but also have deep and significant conversations, so we always enjoy being with them.  We not only admire their ministry hearts, but we respect them greatly as parents.  Their daughters reflect the best of parenting as they are well behaved and respectful as well as being tons of fun.  It's a joy to stay in their home.

Kent and Staci Copley with their daughters Britni and Tori are always a delight to hang with.

Not that we were there much!  We arrived in time Wednesday to go directly to church to speak on relationships to both the middle schoolers and the high school group.  Both groups were receptive and interactive and it was clear that the families and the staff at MLAC have a strong commitment to teaching Biblical design to their kids.  Refreshing!

Thursday morning, we spoke to a group of women on parenting and marriage.  Caryn Bowser, the lead pastor's wife, served up a lovely brunch at the church (and explained to me, "I want them to feel as though they're coming to our home!".)  She accomplished that!  It was a sweet time.  Paul baked cookies with the girls in the afternoon and then we were off to speak to a very cool event that evening.  The "Ministerial Association" of Moses Lake invited to us to speak for a special night out for the local pastors.  A phenomenal dinner was served by the local country club (seriously good steak!) and after some time of worship, we spoke on balancing ministry and marriage.  It was very encouraging for us to see pastors and wives from about 15 different churches in Moses Lake communing with one another rather than competing with each other.  They are clearly committed to working together for the Kingdom which can only be good for the people of Moses Lake!  Walking shoulder to shoulder in unity is so consistent with the heart of the gospel. We loved being a part of that.

Friday we drove up to Clearwater Lodge in Newport, WA, and began the marriage conference.  It was like a family reunion of sorts, as this is the 4th conference we've done for them and we have deep hearts for these folks.  Lots of laughter and fun interaction throughout the weekend, along with rapt attention during the times of teaching.  It was especially meaningful to us that Jody (lead pastor) and Caryn Bowser were there.  It makes a bit statement to a congregation when pastoral staff prioritize a marriage conference.  And they weren't "just" there.  Jody led worship and played songs we haven't heard since the 70's.  (When was the last time you heard "Blind Man"?)  It was fun to actually know all the songs!  A definite advantage of having a more "mature" worship leader.  :)

Jody and Caryn Bowswer and Kent and Staci Copley are providing Godly leadership for the congregation at Moses Lake Alliance Church.

The conferees at the MLAC marriage retreat.  We have grown to deeply love this group.

It was a great weekend and we were truly sorry when it came to a close.  Kent and Staci sped us off to the airport to catch an early afternoon flight so we could be home in time to take Julie to her Board exam in the morning.  Thankfully, there were no complications and we made it by the time the clock struck twelve midnight.

The long anticipated Boards came and went on Monday, and hours later, Julie and I flew to London.  Why not?  Julie's husband, Derek, flew up from Uganda to get some dental work done, and more importantly, to retrieve his wife.  We've spent the last three days enjoying London, the highlights of which were staying in the lovely Ashburton Bed and Breakfast in Chorleywood (owned and operated by Nick and Olive Vale, whose daughter, Tiffany, lives in Mbale volunteering for an NGO there), seeing the stage play "Les Miserables", spending a day with our lifelong friend, Kelsey Offield, and eating some great meals.  Of course the highest light was hanging out with Derek and Julie.  As I fly back to Boston today, they are on a plane taking them the opposite direction to Uganda, and so their life will begin as a married couple as medical missionaries in this  developing country.

I'll admit that since their engagement 15 months ago, it has seemed to easy to think of Julie living in Africa.  It's so consistent with her long-held desire to serve underserved children in Africa.  And how can you argue with the divine orchestration of God bringing her and Derek to one another, serving children in Africa.  I've said countless times, "I'd rather have her in Africa where she feels she's exactly where God wants her than near us where we would love to have her."

I didn't feel that as convincingly this morning as we tearfully hugged good-bye at Heathrow six hours ago.  It all of a sudden feels like she's very far away, and in a curious way, she seemed awfully young and vulnerable as she waved good-bye.

Of course she's not.  Her 27th birthday is just ahead and she’s married to one of the finest men of God we've ever met.  And we all believe they're where God wants them to be for now.

Though my feelings are real and valid, they're not stronger than what I know is true.  Our good-bye this morning allows her to say "hello" to her new life, which is full of hope and promise, love and adventure, challenge and accomplishment.

And God is over all and in all.  That's most comforting of all.

Our early morning farewell at the Ashburton B and B, with innkeeper Nick Vale sending us off.

Wrapping It Up: Ending 2011 and Beginning 2012 (Part 2)

Christmas Eve 2011: At 1 pm, Derek and Julie safely pulled in after logging 3,800 miles between San Diego and Bedford.  Their arrival completed our immediate family circle, which was “all we wanted for Christmas.”  What a gift to have our whole gang together for almost two weeks!

Traditions weave together the holidays, and one of our many treasured traditions is meeting up with Paul and Dawn Amico and their three little ones at Park Street Church for the Christmas Eve candlelight service (now a glow-stick service.)  We love the way Dr. Hugenburger sets the tone for a service that both honors the Christ Child and affirms intergenerational worship.  Following that joyous gathering, we returned to our home for dinner and our “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake.  Wiley, Hadden, and Lucy Amico helped to show Brandon the ropes (since by now, they’re old pros) and we had a great evening together.  It’s a privilege for us to be with the next generation of families who are striving towards Christlikeness in their homes.  The Amicos are doing a great job of it.

Wiley, Lucy, Hadden, and Brandon sing happy birthday to Jesus on Christmas Eve.

The Amicos seemed delighted to receive one of our homemade gingerbread houses.

Another beloved tradition is opening one “surprise” gift on Christmas Eve.  The surprise isn’t the gift—it’s always the same: matching jammies sewn by me for the family.  The surprise is the fabric with which they’re made, which now, because of having a grandson, needs to be gender neutral.  :)  Fortunately everyone loved the choice of flannel (made on Black Friday at 6 am at Joann’s Fabrics’ $1.50 a yard flannel sale!) and our green flannel pants became almost uniform-esque over the next 10 days.

Even Brandon seemed to like the matching jammies, which evidently “dressed” him for the turkey roasting pan.

Christmas morning dawned snowless, despite our longings for a white Christmas, and earlier than it had it years, since we had a 16-month-old in the house.  :)  We had sort of gotten used to doing a lot of “Santa” work on Christmas morning as our “grown-up” daughters slept late . . . but this year shot us back to the days of having toddlers, and the house was fully awake by 7 am.  The traditions continued to unfold as we had almond puff pastry in the shape of a wreath, eggs, and little smokies for breakfast—but after the reading of the Luke 2 account of the birth of Jesus, and the presence of Baby Jesus, whose manger in our creches remains empty until Christmas morn.  Individual floating candles at each person’s place setting remind us that the Light of the world is Jesus, and our still unopened stockings and unwrapped gifts remind us that today is His before it’s ours.

Brandon was quite captivated by his Papa’s reading of the Christmas story before breakfast was eaten.

And then, Santa arrived!  Wearing a now antique Santa suit, worn by his father, Santa Papa Paul made his entrance—briefly—both amusing and petrifying his grandson.  Brandon didn’t know quite what to make of this strangely dressed guy who sounded familiar, but didn’t look at all familiar.  Santa made a quick escape before Brandon could burst into tears and all was well.

Brandon didn’t know what to think of this bright, jolly, familiar-unfamiliar visitor . . .

. . . but in the safety of his mother’s arms, he was amused.

In the arms of “Santa” he wasn’t quite so sure.

Next (as tradition dictates), the stockings are opened . . .

Brandon seems to like the little white bear we brought him from the Steiff factory during our European adventure in September.

 . . . and then a quick photo of the matching jammies in front of the Christmas tree.

Gifts are opened and modeled (when appropriate!)

Much to the surprise of the sons-in-laws, the gift-opening process takes forever.  Not that there are that many gifts.  It’s just that we (me?) like to savor these moments, so we open each gift, one person at a time, and manage to stretch what for Gabe’s family was a ten-minute opening frenzy into a multiple hours event.  :)  Traditions.  At least when we host Christmas.  :)

Dinner preparation comes next and with all hands on deck, we manage to create a modicum of order in our great room and prepare to welcome our traditional Christmas dinner guests.  When discussing Christmas plans, one of the first questions asked by each daughter  is “Will Hank, the Borthwicks, Felicia, and Linda be with us for dinner?”  Gladly, for quite a few years now, we affirm that they will be.  We all love this tradition, too.

Our “family” photo at the end of Christmas dinner... the turkey is no longer stuffed, but we all are!

Brandon, of course, stole the show this year.  He’s just pretty irresistible and was well loved on by all.

Brandon, sporting his Christmas dinner outfit, practices pitching with his new Red Sox ball, given to him by his aunties.

By the time the last dish was done and all candles had been extinguished, we hit the hay, ever so tired, but much more so grateful for such a fitting celebration for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  It was one of the best Christmases ever—even without the snow.

The party continued the next day when our dear, dear friends John and Marilyn joined us for the afternoon.  Since Santa always leaves their stockings at our house (or wherever we are), we had Christmas, take 2, with them.  A lunch of Paul’s homemade turkey soup carried on yet another tradition.  Just as the Nugents were leaving, the Martis family arrived—and we continued celebrating with family-like friends into the night.  Another wonderfully relaxing day full of memory-making moments.

Our annual Christmas celebration with the Nugents happened on the 26th . . .

. . . as did our time with the Martis family.  Matthew was very loving with Brandon.

Our commitment to “do nothing” was challenged when we found out that our dear friend Helen had emergency surgery the day after Christmas, and the girls voted to drive to Albany, NY, to surprise her with a visit on the 28th.  Helen is deeply loved by all in our family, so it was really not a huge sacrifice.  I wish we could’ve recorded her reaction to our arrival.  It took her at least 10 minutes to believe that we were actually there and not just a hallucination caused by the pain killers she was on.  :)  We had a wonderful visit with her and her family before driving home in time for a late dinner with our men, who each felt they had been given a genuine gift of solitude by our absence.  It was just what those introverts needed about that time!

Bill Challener, with sons Douglas and Gregory, extended warm hospitality to us as we surprised Helen with a visit.

Besides our trip to Albany, we honored the “do nothing” decision, so our days were delightfully filled with wonderful “nothingness.”  Translated, that meant plenty of time for eating late and leisurely breakfast/brunches, playing games, hanging out and talking/laughing/enjoying one another, watching football, and singing around the piano (my personal favorite.)  At Gabe’s request, we had “lessons in hymnology” daily which was very, very sweet.  For the past three decades, the majority of post-modern churches  have replaced hymns with contemporary tunes, but it seems the pendulum may be swinging back towards the rich heritage of doctrinally sound theology expressed through many of the old hymns.  It shouldn't be an “either/or” but a “both/and,” since there are many theologically profound contemporary songs, but for our days together, we immersed ourselves in some of the great hymns of the faith.  Mixing the old with the new, Gabe pulled up a hymnal on his iPad and marked several hymns he plans to commit to memory.  :)

Brandon played and sang along with “GiGi” during our family hymn sings.

Before we knew it, New Year's was upon us.  We had a great “in-house” New Year’s Eve celebration, featuring a progressive dinner, table games, and an eggnog toast at midnight.  The real celebration came on New Year’s Day, when we headed down to Gillette Stadium to cheer our boys in red, white, and blue on to their 13th victory of the regular season.  At this point, we were thankful for the lack of snow and cold weather as we enjoyed the game in very balmy conditions.  After that great win, we joined the team families in the “tunnel” for dinner and then played a little football of our own on the post-game field.  It really doesn’t get any better than that.  :)  It was a perfect day.

Kara made sure we were well-taken care of at the game, making it a very happy memory for all.

Brandon runs towards the goal line while his teammates watch in wonder at his speed and agility.

That was the last big hurrah.  Brandon came down with a severe ear infection the following day and his misery had a mitigating affect on the carefree atmosphere of the  previous days.  We were so blessed by a family-friend/physician who provided care for him, and by the time they flew home on Thursday the 5th, he was much better.

As we continue the regrouping process, we are pretty much overwhelmed by God’s graciousness to us during this very special and unique time frame.  With Derek now back in Uganda (and blessing us by leaving his wife here to prepare for her physical therapy boards on Jan. 30), Lisa back at her now full-time position at JMU in Harrisonburg, VA, and the Garcias back in the saddle at their church in Sacramento; with mostly all vestiges of Christmas returned to the attic; with a happily full home reduced to a neat and mostly orderly space; with the sounds of animated conversations and lots of laughter replaced by echoes in the walls; we’re reminded again that relationships are what really matter.  This life lesson is reinforced each year as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, who came to facilitate relationships.

So, as this new year begins, we are feeling very full of what matters.  And that’s the wrap.

Wrapping it up: Ending '11, Beginning '12 - Part 1

Brandon wishes everyone a happy new year!

Happy New Year!  I guess it’s fitting that 2011 finished a year-long ride down a water slide, at least in terms of speed.  And, not surprisingly, 2012 is off to a similar start.  I guess if we don’t like the slide, we’d better get out of the water park!  :)  Thankfully, we do love what we’re doing and are so thankful for the many who make it possible for us to continue.

I last wrote en route to St. Louis, but stopped that post short of sharing about our daughter Julie's graduation from physical therapy school the previous weekend, so I'll start with that today.

She did it.  Thirty grueling months later, on Dec. 10, after being stretched beyond what she thought she was capable of, and after endless hours of studying, memorizing, applying knowledge, and testing, Julie received her Doctor of Physical Therapy degree from University of St. Augustine’s with highest honors.  As if that weren’t enough, much to her complete surprise, she was also selected as the “Most Outstanding Physical Therapy Student” of her class.  She may still be in shock about that.  We were all able to gather to celebrate her and it was a day full of rejoicing.  Her degree is a study in perseverance, in pressing on, in resisting the pull of the path of least resistance, in keeping on—and we’re so proud of her character and accomplishment.  She’s studying now for her boards, which she’ll take Jan. 30 in Andover, and then she’s off to join Derek in Mbale, Uganda, to begin her new life as a wife and physical therapist.

The whole family gathered to witness Julie’s graduation from PT school on a beautiful December Saturday in San Marcos, CA.

We spent the balance of the weekend with Derek and Julie as they closed out their life in SoCal, loaded their Toyota Corolla, and began their long journey across the states to Boston.  We were so glad to be able to finish up some loose ends for them as well as visit with my folks before we flew back home on Tuesday, Dec. 13.

We had a sunset walk on Coronado Beach while out for Julie’s graduation and it was delightful.  This is the beach we were walking 36 years ago when Paul proposed.

We made it home late Tuesday night, and Wednesday morning was our final Patriots women’s study.  It was a time of closure and celebration, and a very sweet ending to a great fall together.  I already miss being with this great group of ladies weekly.

The Patriots women’s study came to a close the 14th, but our friendships and connections will continue.

And then we were off to St. Louis.  An annual tradition, we treasure our moments with the precious Williams family.  Our relationship with them, which began in 1999 when Grant played for the New England Patriots, has grown in very familial ways through the years as we fill in part the role of surrogate Christian parents and grandparents for their family.  We have loved watching them grow as a family in God-honoring ways, and have been so impressed with the many ways God has used and is using them to impact many other families.  Our days together were short but very sweet.  Long enough at least for Mister Paul to carry on the tradition of baking his chocolate chip cookies with the girls.

Though Meegan doesn't really loom over Paul as it appears in this photo, she is hitting 5'10" at 14 years of age.  The others are close behind.

We had a carriage ride through a neighboring town, making for a very fun Christmas-y sunset activity.

We had planned to fly from St. Louis to Charlotte, NC, for a brief visit with the Yardleys before returning to Boston on the 21st, but made a very sane and wise (though hard) decision to re-adjust our plans and return home Sunday night.  It was one of the better decisions we’ve made this year.  Before leaving for St. Louis, as we sat in our still-not-ready-for-Christmas home with long lists of things to do before the kids arrived for the holidays, we realized that even a magic wand would not solve the problems that would result from our poor planning.  So, the Yardleys graciously accepted our cancellation without penalty and we returned from St. Louis with three wonderfully unplanned days in which to get “everything” done.

We all know that “everything” is never done, but we did get the important things done so that when Lisa, Gabe, Kari, and Brandon arrived that Thursday night, Dec. 22nd, we were mostly ready for them.  Let the party begin!!

Our first of many dinners together, a couple of days before Derek and Julie arrived.

We weren’t quite to the “eating bonbons” stage, I'll confess, so the 23rd required all hands on deck for finishing up wrapping, decorating, delivering, shopping, cleaning, etc.  I mean “all” hands on deck.  As “I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas” played repetitively in the background—sadly, having no impact on the clear skies and unseasonably warm temps which cast question on our real location—lists were crossed off and we really were ready for the bonbon-savoring moments to begin on Christmas Eve, at noon, when the last ones rolled in from CA.

Brandon gets his hands on the vacuum cleaner as he helps Papa get the job done.

Lisa and Kari continue the annual tradition of decorating gingerbread houses.  

Two-fer home . . . repack . . . GO!

I’ve written this blog many times in my mind over the past month, and I’m confident that in the future, there will likely be technology that will take our thoughts and transcribe them.  (Hopefully, selectively!)  For now, though, lacking such a system, the pace of these weeks has precluded doing the “non-urgent” so I’m thankful that today as we fly to St. Louis, the time has come.  We’ve had a fall of “two-fers”: five days on the road, “two fer” Boston.  And those “two-fers” have been dedicated to our two Patriots studies and counseling, so that’s why it feels like we really haven’t been home much!  We haven’t!

Backing up to Nov. 17th, we had a great morning with the MOPS group at North Shore Community Baptist Church.  We love opportunities to speak into the lives of young moms.  So much encouragement is needed during that season of life—which is delightful—but also so demanding, challenging, and often times undervalued in our culture.

Early on Nov. 18th, we packed our passports and flew to Seattle, where we rented a car and drove to Vancouver, British Columbia.  We considered it an immense honor to partner with lead pastor Ken Shigematsu and his team at Tenth Church.  We had known Ken from our time at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary back in the early 90’s and respected him then as a true man of God with a heart to impact the world for Him.  We were delighted to reconnect with him last year as he wrote asking for input on a chapter he was writing on family.  He invited us to spend a weekend with his congregation and it was definitely one of the highlights of our year to do so.

After spending Friday evening in the Shigematsu’s home having dinner with his family, we knew it was going to be a great weekend.  His beautiful wife, Sakiko, and son, Joey, extended warm hospitality and we felt kindredly linked in short order.  It was a lovely launch to the weekend.

On Saturday, we presented a marriage seminar in the morning and a parenting seminar in the afternoon.  In between, we met with a team from the church to consult for them on family ministry within the church, and then spent that evening with a couple on their church lay leadership team, continuing the lunch conversation.  It was a full, productive day.

The seminars were very well attended, which took even the planners by surprise, and even delayed the beginning of the morning due to so many “walk-ins.” A nice problem, really.  The audience was engaged and thoughtful, and much to our surprise, had a rather large representation of single adults.  Tenth Church does have a large single population, but we didn’t necessarily expect them to come to these two seminars.  Happily, they did!  As we conversed with more than a few of them, they explained that they wanted to gather as much information as possible before they were married or parents.  Wise singles!

Sunday we preached four times at two different locations.  Tenth Church has exploded under Ken’s leadership, growing from 150 in 1996 to over 2,000 now.  Space is an issue and they’re creatively working to “expand their borders.”  Focusing again on family issues in our sermon, we were amazed at the number of moving conversations we had with many singles who are wrestling with developing Godly expectations for their future marriages and families.  Many of them bought copies of Letters to my Daughters and we were blessed beyond belief to have conversations with several on Sunday who had already read it, after picking it up on Saturday!  One young woman related to me through tears how deeply she had been impacted by the wisdom of Paul’s father’s heart.  “I didn’t receive that from my dad, and I was overwhelmed by the message and the heart behind it.  I feel so much better prepared to make a wise marriage decision now. I only wish I had read this book sooner; it probably would’ve saved me some heartache.”

Another beautiful young woman wrote:

I want to thank you full heartily again for giving me Paul’s book Letters to My Daughters.  I’ve been reading it every night since. It has brought me tears and joys. As I read on, I reflected on my own past, my own experiences wishing I’d read it earlier, and thanking the Lord for bring you and Paul into my life.

We had many great conversations with married couples as well, but I think we were both so impressed with the hunger and openness of the single population at Tenth.  What a great reflection of the heart of the ministry at that vital church.

After late night sushi following the evening service (which kept us connecting with the “we’re in no hurry to leave this place” crowd until after 10), we got some sleep and headed out early Monday morning for parts south.  We felt like we were leaving Vancouver way too quickly.  We were comforted that a return is in the offing when we received this kind email from Ken:

Thank you, Paul and Virginia.
It was such an enormous blessing to have you at Tenth!
You are declaring God’s wisdom about marriage and family in a way that is biblically faithful, wise, winsome, moving, and practical.
Perhaps most powerful of all you are living example of how a family can hike in a direction that’s different from the general culture and in so doing serve as a light on a hill.
I sense that God is truly honoured in your lives and ministry!
I don’t know if you recommend an ideal “wait time” ratio before you come back to a context, but if you are open to returning to Tenth we would love to have you again—and perhaps market it beyond just our local church.
With Gratitude,
Ken

Reconnecting with Ken Shigematsu, lead pastor of Tenth Church in Vancouver, British Columbia, we rediscovered how similarly our hearts beat regarding God’s design for  family and marriage.

It was a joy for me to spend time with my new friend Annie, and thanks to the internet, our friendship will continue.

There was a lot of interest in our books at Tenth and we’ve received some very encouraging feedback from this congregation.

Next stop: Seattle.  We managed to squeeze in brunch with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom, who are on our short list of favorite friends and ministry partners.  They inspire us!  So down to earth.  So real.  So missional.  Our time as a foursome passed all too quickly.  On to the church (Bethany Community Church, for which Richard serves as lead pastor) to spend the lunch hour with his staff talking about the virtues of family camp.  That was easy.  :)  Our passion for family camp runs deep for so many reasons, as we see it as one of the most effective venue for impacting families who make it a tradition.  I think we were convincing.

Continuing south, our next stop was San Diego, where we spent a couple of days with my parents and assorted other family members. I was genuinely pleased to be in town to take my mom to have cataract surgery that Tuesday morning. Thankfully, she came through with flying colors and can’t believe what she’s seeing again.  Good days with my side of the family before driving to the central valley to spend Thanksgiving with Paul’s side of the family in Pixley.

Besides my parents, it was great to visit with my sister Francene and her husband

(the taker of this photo) while in San Diego.

The farm in Pixley.  Legacy.  Roots.  Shaping.  Paul’s boyhood home, where his godly character was forged.  It was so good to be back at the farm.  Especially thrilling was introducing Gabe, Brandon, and Derek to Pixley; walking the cotton fields, playing the annual family football bowl; cracking walnuts gathered from the orchards; eating traditional dishes for the Thanksgiving feast; regaling tales of times gone by.  We had family meals and family devotions with extended family each night in the “great room” of the farm house, which is still occupied by Paul’s oldest sister Sandy and her husband Wayne.  Flashbacks of  35 years of history danced through my mind as we sang “Great is Thy Faithfulness” together, as we’ve done many times over time.  Four generations have been a part of my Pixley experience; five generations for Paul, whose grandmother and aunt lived with them when he was a young boy growing up in that house.

The greatest gift was gathering with three generations of Friesens, all of whom are committed to faithfully walking with the Lord.  It’s hard to express how significant it’s been for our own family to be journeying through life with those who not only share DNA, but who share spiritual convictions.  It’s been reinforcing for us to keep pressing on.  It’s filled in some gaps for our daughters, especially during the teen years, to have cousins who would stand with them, especially when they felt “alone” in their values and convictions.  Well beyond the tangible benefits of being on the farm were the intangibles, and we left refreshed and renewed after three wonderful days there.

But not home yet!  We headed north with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon, and spent a couple of days with them before flying home on Tuesday, Nov. 29th.

The extended Friesen family gathered for Thanksgiving at the family farm in Pixley, California.

All smile after the family friendly football bowl game was won, once again, by the “west.”

The days at the farm were full of discovery for Brandon, the city boy. 

Our gang enjoying a bonfire at cousin Randy and Rachael’s home in Strathmore (a suburb of Pixley!)

The girls, standing in front of an old oak tree with the cotton fields forming the backdrop.

Back to real life: the Patriots women’s study early the morning after we returned, counseling, the couples’ study, and . . .  what?  No trip to the airport Friday morning?

Breaking the pattern, we stayed home the first weekend of December.  Sort of.  We didn’t really stay home, we just didn’t actually fly anywhere.  :)  Friday night we spoke at Couples’ Date Night at the North Shore Community Baptist Church and had a lot of fun teaching on temperaments.  The beautifully-planned evening (thanks to the creative efforts of Ryan and Kelly Plosker and their great team) was a fitting launch to the holiday season, forcing a pause to prepare for the physical and emotional challenges of this great but sometimes hard month.  Always love being with this group.

At the end of the date night, some lingerers were willing to be “shot.”

The next night, we spoke on parenting at the Boston Chinese Evangelical Church.  Due to a scheduling error on our part, this group graciously flexed and changed their event to accommodate us, which made it difficult for some who had planned to come.  An enthusiastic group gathered nonetheless and we so enjoyed our time with them.

Wai-Chin and Fannie Ng (far right) planned this event and were wonderful hosts.

In between those two dates nights, we did an Engagement Matters seminar all day Saturday and Sunday.  :)  We have only ourselves to blame for the packed schedule, but besides being too tired to eat popcorn during the Patriots game Sunday late afternoon, we were none the worse for the wear.  The Engagement Matters weekend was one of the best we’ve had.  We loved the couples and had a lot of interaction with them since our EM partners (Doug and Julie Macrae) were out of town.  Fortunately, Ryan and Kelly Plosker were able to come up for an hour on Sunday to present a session dealing with great decisions to make early in marriage, and they knocked it out of the park.

One of the attendees wrote:

“The entire weekend was so amazing! My girlfriend and I are so very thankful to have gone and are excited about the future together. You and Mr. Friesen did just an amazing job and we are glad to have had such wise counsel.”

How we pray that God will use this weekend to prepare couples for a marriage which fulfills His design!

The Engagement Matters attendees were delightful, and sincere in their desire to make great decisions regarding marriage.

After another great Patriots win, the first week of December included an H.I.M. Board meeting in addition to the normal counseling and Patriots activities.  We are so very thankful for our board.  They are very smart and very dedicated to this ministry, and each of them sacrifices a lot to make this ministry happen.  We are blessed.

As the calendar days march on under the heading of “December,” I must admit that we’re still a bit back in November.  We have no Christmas decorations up yet . . . in fact, we have a few pumpkins hanging around our house, and harvest-scented candles still fill the holders.  It’s a really good thing that we’re not in charge of the world, or there’s a very strong possibility that Christmas would be celebrated sometime in late January or February!  Our pattern this fall of being home “fer two” days (and gone for five)—and those 48 hours being full of counseling and Patriots ministry—has caused many important things on the home front to be neglected.  We’ve truly loved everything we’ve done but are committed to reassessing how to schedule our lives with more wisdom.

For now, though, we have another plane to catch.  We’ve been home for 48 hours and it’s time to get moving . . .

Brandon is “soooo big” and at 15 months, continues to delight us with each new development.

Strutting his new Patriots duds given him by his aunties, he’s all about football.  Go Pats!!

The Twists and Turns of November 2011

The Oct. 30, 2011 Nor’easter created great hardship for millions, but also painted some unusually beautiful vignettes which prompted the question, “What's wrong with this picture?”

What a month it’s been!  We returned from California on Oct. 25, got through days of counseling and the two Patriots studies, and then hunkered down for the Nor’easter of 2011.  Not to minimize the very challenging circumstances that evolved from this unprecedented October storm, but we were secretly very pleased to be in town to “experience” it firsthand rather than read the reports about it (which seems more typical for us due to our travels.)  Let me also confess that since we only lost electricity for about 10 hours, we faced none of the hardships incurred by so many others, so we could “enjoy” it as few could.  At any rate, we were awed to see the power of God in nature and the unusual marriage of fall colors and snow.  Wild weather!

November was ushered in by our annual evening with the couples at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.  We love Lita Schleuter, director of the seminary wives program,  and are honored to partner with her and to mix with the students.  We always find this engagement stimulating as we interact with those preparing for ministry and struggling with the somewhat unknown future challenges of balancing marriage, family, and ministry.  It was a great evening, capped with a brief but sweet visit with some of our family friends’ students who are attending Gordon College.

We received this kind email from Lita after our evening together:

Paul and Virginia,
What joy it is to always have you come and encourage future church leaders!!  You are indeed preparing soldiers of the Cross!
Your teaching reached across cultures - in the audience were couples who are already leaders in their countries, and they were greatly encouraged by God's word as presented by the two of you.
Thank you for making yourselves available to God to bless His Church!
In Christ’s joy,
Lita

We were so honored to spend the evening at GCTS with Bonnie Robinson and Lita and Dan Schleuter, along with many student couples.

Hannah Bastedo, Holland Stewart, and Monica Wong are family friends all studying at Gordon College, so we had a late night “Nick’s Roast Beef” run after speaking at the seminary.

Our long-awaited “Sacred Marriage” conference happened the first weekend of November, and Danny and Rayna Oertli’s arrival on Thursday, November 3rd, got the ball rolling when we picked them up en route to the Patriots couples study so the couples could enjoy a mini-concert.  Our group was smaller that evening since many of the couples had been without electricity since the weekend storm, but the group present was greatly blessed by Danny’s music.    

Danny gave Betsy Hasselbeck an impromtu lesson on his guitar before his mini-concert at the Pats couples’ study.

That was the start of a great weekend.  Gary Thomas spoke Friday night and all day Saturday to a crowd of about 550, and God’s spirit was unmistakably present.  He is anointed to bring a very counter-cultural message to a world steeped in self-centered entitlements, which wrecks havoc on marriages. He challenges us to think about marriage from a design perspective, making it about God, rather than from a cultural perspective, which makes it about “me.”  His message was clear, convicting, and hope-giving.   Especially heartening to Paul and me was seeing many, many couples with whom we’ve walked for years now, who have been met by God in very life-changing ways.  Their once very struggling marriages are now on solid ground and the hope of the gospel is seen very practically.

Besides Gary's inspiring and practical messages, the spectrum of workshops hit the mark by addressing specific areas of interest, and were led by highly-qualified resource couples.  We had the usual offerings of conflict management, temperaments, and investing in your marriage, plus some new ones.  David and Michelle Swaim presented a workshop on developing a missional marriage with a global perspective.  As they taught, holding their seventh adopted child, 5-month-old Andrew, they caused many to consider living far beyond themselves.  We received great feedback on the workshops.

And as always, the worship led by Danny and Rayna Oertli was used by God to draw us to Himself.  It was a great, great conference.

Several comments we’ve received since:

“We really felt so enriched and blessed to be at the marriage conference this weekend.  It was worth every penny of the $20 per hour! (cost of babysitter!) Thanks again.”

“My wife and I attended the recent Sacred Marriage conference, what a blessing!  I frequently give Sacred Marriage to couples as wedding presents and during premarital counseling, I loved hearing Gary in person and was personally challenged and stretched to grow in loving my wife as Christ loves the church.”

After the conference, Doug and Julie Macrae treated Gary Thomas, the Oertlis, and us to a wonderful dinner at Il Capriccio in Waltham.

We rounded out the weekend with a visit to Foxboro, where we were witness to a deja-vu game against the Giants.  Everything about the experience, minus the score, was perfect:  weather, company, food, friends.  Danny and Rayna enjoyed their introduction to our football world nonetheless, especially because their Broncos took the Raiders down that day.

It was a great afternoon at Foxboro, in spite of a not-so-great loss to the Giants.

Our post-conference recovery week included an H.I.M. Board meeting, counseling, Patriots studies, and speaking at Mom to Mom at Grace Chapel.  We divided and conquered and each did a workshop on Thursday, Nov. 10.  As always, it was good to reconnect with a few familiar faces and to partner with this great ministry to moms.

Carolyn Sylvester, Lisa Cerci, and Connie Lawrence were a few of our favorite faces from our Grace Chapel days.

Veterans Day weekend  took an unexpected turn when we got a phone call from our newly-married daughter, Julie (whose husband Derek was in Uganda for two weeks), regarding a somewhat urgent medical concern (which has, thankfully, been since resolved).  In light of a relatively “light” ministry weekend (Paul had a men’s breakfast to speak for at 1st Congregational Church of Hamilton and we were scheduled to participate in a very important wedding which Paul was able to do alone), I hopped on a plane within hours and spent the weekend with Julie, awaiting several test results.  Though there was a underlying concern running throughout the days, it was a very sweet time to spend with our Uganda-bound daughter during her last months stateside.  We laid low, overall, since she wasn't feeling great, but did manage to sneak off to the beach at Coronado and take a sunset walk Sunday afternoon.  On that walk, we also admired the Hotel Del Coronado, where Paul and I spent the first night of our honeymoon 35.5 years ago.  It's on our bucket list to return there for a night or two, but for now, it brings great delight to just look at this magnificent hotel from the incredible beach upon which it sits.

The Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego sits majestically on the beach and holds great memories for us.

And, turning around 180 degrees, the setting sun declares the glory of God.

While with Julie, we were also able to pop in on my folks and have lunch with my sisters before flying back to New England late Tuesday evening.  It was a gift to receive good news from the test results before flying home that day.

Paul carried the ball in New England and spoke at two more Mom to Moms, one at St. Michael’s in Bedford and the other at Faith Evangelical Free Church in Acton.  He is also wildly popular with the ladies and the feedback we got confirmed that nothing has changed.

At the Patriots Women’s Study that Wednesday (the 16th), we exchanged our Cynthia Heald study and Bibles for cinnamon roll dough and rolling pins.  This annual event is lots of fun and we had a blast together rolling dough, splashing butter, sprinkling cinnamon sugar, and baking this yummy treat for all to bring to their families.

The annual cinnamon roll workshop produced dozens of rolls and happy consumers.

The almost finished product with some of the accomplished bakers.  

After only 48 hours at home, we were off again—passports required...

But before I sign off: how could I not post this photo of our quickly growing and changing Brandon?  :)

Endless Fall

Brandon welcomes you to his “GiGi”’s blog.  How could I not start this post with this photo??

I have to look at the calendar to know that today is Nov. 10—or look at the address to know we're not in California.  After several days of temperatures which have warranted wearing capris and short-sleeves, the fall leaves and harvest decorations seem to be out of place in this very late Indian summer period.  And this, following an unprecedented N'oreaster 11 days ago that terrorized this region with snow and high winds, devastating trees everywhere.  Crazy!

Most of October was spent in California, where weather is generally more predictable and even.

After being home for only 48 hours earlier in the month, we flew back to the west coast on Oct. 14 for a 12-day ministry tour which began in Lancaster/Palmdale, California.  We first ministered with this church last February when we spoke for their marriage conference, and our hearts connected immediately with David and Nancy Parker who provide leadership for the Desert Vineyard.  We were honored when they invited us to partner with them at their church for this October weekend and eagerly accepted.  We love to hang out with folks like the Parkers, who have faithfully served the underserved and underprivileged in this high desert community east of Los Angeles for 18 years. Their congregation of 5,000 includes many who are struggling with addictions, poverty, broken homes, gangs, unemployment, etc., and the Parkers have poured their heart and soul into this community.  They are humble, authentic, very gifted people of God and it was truly a privilege to serve with them.

We spent Friday evening with their staff, talking about ministry and marriage.  Hosted by the Parkers in their home, we all enjoyed a Mexican feast before our time of teaching.  It was a good evening.  Saturday morning we did a half-day parenting seminar and were warmly received by the relatively small group that gathered.  Before doing the evening service, we spent the afternoon hanging out with Tom and April Garcia and their beautiful family, who are long-time Campus by the Sea family campers.  We were truly inspired to be with three of their teenagers, who are all in love with Jesus and are standing for Him in their secular schools and workplaces.  The evening service went well, and we were exhausted but thankful by day’s end. We taught at both of the services on Sunday and were energized by the congregation's interaction.  What an amazing way God is working in that place!

At Desert Vineyard, we grabbed a photo with Tom and April, Brean, Marina, and Tommy Garcia.

Julie and Derek drove up to hear us teach and to drive us down to San Diego after church on Sunday.  What a treat!  We feel so blessed to have these moments with them, knowing they'll be fewer and farther between once they're settled in Uganda early in 2012.  En route to San Diego, we met the newest member of the Friesen family,  Colson Rottschafter, and had a brief but wonderful visit with extended family gathered at their home.

Ron and Joyce (Friesen) Rottschafer holding Wylan and Brenton, and baby brother Colson (in my arms) next to their mother Donna (married to our nephew Brian Rottschafer who was serving at church and therefore not in the photo), and Derek and Julie.

Spending three days in San Diego with my parents was a highlight of this trip.  My mother is remarkable as she continues to care for my father, whose dementia increases while his abilities decrease.  What a very, very tough journey.  Sixty-three years together in marriage, their love for one another and their commitment to one another is more evident than ever.  This passage of their life together is definitely a test of “in sickness and in health . . .  ’til death do us part.”  We're always grateful for time spent with them.

My parents and Paul always enjoy having time together.

The second part of the trip took us north, about 500 miles, to Sacramento.  Sacrificially, we saved Bayside Church (which hosted our coming) money on hotel and restaurant costs and stayed with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon.  :)  Oh my!  What a difference two months makes in the life of a one-year-old! Since Julie’s wedding on  August 21 (the last time we saw Brandon), he has sprouted 4 teeth and become a walker.  We had an absolute ball discovering him anew.  We were thankful to have prepared well for our weekend teaching sessions before we arrived because it would've been quite impossible to have done so after arriving.  Derek and Julie flew up to join the party, which made it an almost family reunion.  We all lamented that Lisa’s work prevented her from joining us.  :(

Friday night, a packed-out crowd came out to Bayside for Couples’ Dessert/Date Night.  What a fun night!  Lincoln Brewster did a few special songs, Curt Harlowe did a comedy routine, and then we spoke to an eager crowd.  We love teaching at Bayside.  The congregation is always so responsive and receptive.  It was a great evening.

The sold-out date night crowd waits for the doors to open for the evening’s festivities.

The “booksellers” man the table after the couples’ dessert/date night.  :)

We taught at all five weekend services held that Saturday and Sunday, and have had some very profound interactions with some since.  We really sensed God’s spirit working among us throughout the weekend and were so thankful.   We were moved to receive this email shortly after the weekend:

“For those of you who might have missed it, our friends, Paul & Virginia Friesen spoke at Bayside this past weekend. The message on Sat/Sunday about marriage, ‘When It’s Good, It’s Really Good,’ is the best marriage message Rose and I have ever heard and it’s directly from Ephesians 5.”

We were also challenged by an email from a dear man who has struggled with the difficulties mental illness has visited upon his marriage and who needed a word of hope.  We enlisted the help of several ministry colleagues who have walked that path very personally and God did an amazing work through the networking which ensued.  We are still in awe of His faithfulness and grace in using the “this isn't what I signed up for” journey of two truly Godly men to come alongside this man with wisdom and truth which God used to knead hope into the heart of this hurting man.  To be “spectators” of this was faith-confirming and expanding for us.

Each service at Bayside was full of energy and responsiveness.  What a joy to minister there!

In between serving at Bayside, we had some great moments with Alton and Danielle Green and Alton’s girlfriend, Jeronica, over a meal at the Garcia home, and with a number of others who are being mentored by Gabe and Kari.  We also had time for walks, swinging at the park, shopping (Kari and Julie helped spruce up my predictable wardrobe!), playing “Nickel,” and hanging out.  But truth be told, most of the time we just enjoyed Brandon.  He is incredibly entertaining and the question did surface of what we did for entertainment before he was born.  I must also mention that Brandon had his first chocolate chip cookie baking lesson from the master, his very own “Papa.”

 Brandon enjoys a moment with his big brother, Alton, and Alton’s girlfriend, Jeronica.

“Papa” took advantage of time alone with Brandon to give him his first chocolate chip cookie baking lesson.  

Uncle Derek and Aunt Julie took advantage of time with Brandon (and his parents) throughout the weekend.

Tuesday, October 25, we pulled ourselves away from the Garcias’ cozy home and made our way to the newly-remodeled Sacramento Airport to return to Boston.  We were so very thankful for every part of the trip and spent much of the flight home reflecting on how God had met us and the glimpses we had into how He had met those we had been privileged to teach.  We were struck with both the vast differences between the congregations at Desert Vineyard and Bayside Church—socioeconomically, professionally, lifestyle, etc.—and yet the profound similarities between what challenges their marriages and families.  Good communication, genuine intimacy, commitment to the covenant, family solidarity, priorities, spiritual growth . . . all seem elusive, whether you have a lot or a little.  At the end of it all, the hope for all of us is bound up in Him—not in things, status, or perceived success.

So we returned to New England energized and exhausted.  Fortunately we didn't have anything until . . . the next morning!  More on that later.

The calendar said Oct. 23 when we resumed residence at our official address, and by that late date, usually 90% of the glorious fall color has “fallen.”  So we were surprised and ecstatic to see that the trees were still almost fully “clothed” and the brilliance of fall was just peaking.  That was an unexpected gift which brought great visual delight over the days to come.

I love this seemingly endless fall.

But I love this precious little face even more.  :)

Life Goes On

The full moon last night (Oct. 14, as I write this) reminds me that we’ve been home from Europe a month now. Re-entry has been harder than expected, quite honestly—and the beautiful summery weather we’ve continued to experience in New England contributes to the desire to keep hiking, biking, and gawking at God’s beautiful creation.  Fortunately, our schedule has allowed us to be so indulged, so we’ve had a “soft” landing, in a manner.

Though it wouldn’t appear that way to some.  Less than 12 hours after returning from Europe, I was driving to Foxboro to launch the Patriots women’s study, which is held every Wednesday morning during the season.  It’s an honor to be leading the study for the second year and we’re all getting a lot out of Cynthia Heald’s

Becoming a Woman of Faith

.  Fifteen women are involved and it’s truly one of the highlights of my week to interact with these engaged, honest, interactive women.

 A smattering of counseling appointments made their way into the balance of that week and on Saturday, Paul initiated

Camp Berea

’s Women’s Conference with the first male-presented workshop in its history.  Not surprisingly (from my vantage), he hit it out of the park with the women and received feedback that his was the most highly rated workshop of the weekend.  :)  We received this email regarding his workshop:

“I attended Paul’s workshop this weekend at the Women’s Retreat and he was excellent.  I think the women could have stayed all afternoon and listened to him bring understanding to them about their husbands’ reactions.  He was “right on” according to some of the gals I spoke with.  He was straight to the point and didn’t mince words, which spoke to many of them.  I doubt seriously if many of them have had such a clear delivery of how their husbands hear their words and how they deliver their words.”

He made it back down from Berea in time to have a farewell dinner with our dear friend, Margaret Austin, whose husband was picked up off the Patriots’ practice squad by the Texans—and just like that, they vanished.  We hated to see them go, as both Margaret and Thomas have deep hearts for the Lord and have added great ballast to the couples’ study and women’s study this past year.  But alas, the “Not For Long” league lived up to its reputation.  We’ll miss having them here for a long time.

Margaret Austin and I share a farewell hug before she joined her husband in Houston, where he now suits up for the Texans.

We did something in September we haven't done often in the past eight years since the launch of Home Improvement Ministries: we attended our home church two weeks in a row! It was so good to hear David Swaim (

Highrock Church

) preach in person rather than hearing him via podcast and to connect with many dear people who attend that church.

We were in full tilt the next week, counseling, doing both Patriots studies, catching up on neglected emails, sorting through piles which just grew over the previous four months of not being home, and regrouping in general.  Adding joy to some of these mundane tasks was having Julie with us for several days leading up to the east coast wedding reception held Sept. 21 at the Macraes’ home in Weston.  Derek joined the festivities on Friday, the 20th, after flying in from Uganda where he had spent the prior two weeks.  Yes, 17 days into their marriage, they experienced a 14-day separation, necessitated by his continuing duties as executive director of the

CURE Children’s Hospital

in Mbale, Uganda.  Though it wasn’t easy,  they both agreed it was much better than the four-month separations characteristic of their two-year long-distance courtship.

Their reception was delightful as many wonderful friends came to wish them well and to celebrate God’s goodness to them through marriage.  The youngest attendee was 6 weeks old—the first child of one of Julie’s best friends from high school—and the oldest was Thora Eames, at 93, who came with more vim and vigor than most of the middle-aged crowd combined.  We were honored to have my sister Francene and her husband Thom fly up from Virginia for the party, and were thrilled that Lisa's women's soccer team from JMU “just happened” to be playing Northeastern on Sunday, allowing her to catch the tail end of the reception.  It was a great afternoon.

It was a special joy to have Gail MacDonald, long-time family friend and mentor, attend the reception.

And Thora Eames—she inspires all of us!  She brought much energy to the afternoon!!

Doug and Julie Macrae kindly opened their home for the reception which was a huge blessing to all.

Lisa made it off the practice field to catch the tail end of the reception, and we had a happy reunion with her and my sister Francene

.

Following the reception, we had the absolute delight of spending a couple of days with Derek and Julie in New Hampshire.  We rode our bikes around Newfound Lake and then swam in it—on Sept. 23 and 24th!!  The warm weather made the lake irresistible and we behaved as though it were summertime.  We enjoyed every minute of this getaway, especially knowing that in a few short months, Derek and Julie will settle in Mbale, Uganda, and such moments will be few and far between.

Mounted on our steeds, we rode the 18-mile circumference of  Newfound Lake on a gorgeous summer-like fall day.

Back to Bedford for the Patriots’ women's study and some counseling before driving with Derek and Julie to Rockport and Gloucester, where we splurged on some fresh-out-of-the-water 2# lobsters.  Home for a delicious New England lobster dinner and a competitive game of “Nickel.”  A perfect ending to a great day.

At Captain Joe’s, we were amazed by this ginormous lobster.  We let him live, and settled on four 2-pounders which were out of this world.

We had a great turnout for the Patriots’ couples study Thursday night and all seem to be engaged in the Jesus on Marriage study Paul wrote for this fall's curriculum.  We're having a lot of good and thought provoking interaction following sharing a meal together.  We're so thankful that Matt and Susie Light are hosting the study again this year.

Off to Pennsylvania we drove to speak at Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church, on Sunday, Oct. 2.  En route, we stopped in Lancaster for dinner with one of our cherished mentors, Barbara Boyd.  A contemporary

IVCF

colleague of Paul’s parents, Barbara is an absolute inspiration to us.  She has faithfully followed Christ since meeting Him in her early 20’s and as we listened to her life story over dinner, we were even more impressed with her incredibly fruitful life.  And with her joyful acceptance of how her life has unfolded.  Engaged to be married to Ralph Willoughby in her late 20’s, her hopes and dreams for a God-honoring marriage were dashed when Ralph died of a virus months before they were to be married.  Barbara never married, but rather than live with the bitterness of unfulfilled dreams, she poured herself in to Kingdom work and was used mightily by God for decades as she served with IVCF.  She is still “green with sap” (Psalm 92) as she continues to live for Him as an octogenarian.  We were deeply touched by our time with her.

We had a great evening with Barbara Boyd as we made our way to Elizabethtown, PA.

It was a true joy to return to Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church (

EBIC

) after having a wonderful introduction to this congregation almost a year ago.  Steve and Liz Lane head up this vital church and it was a delight to spend a bit of time with them while there.  We spoke at both of their Sunday services, taught their very large adult Sunday School class, and did a parenting seminar.  We packed a lot in to a short time and actually hated to leave so quickly—but we had an engagement in Harrisonburg the next night so on we went.

Steve and Liz Lane and their sons Michael and Scottie were wonderful hosts for us at EBIC.

Next stop:  Harrisonburg, Virginia.  After a brief but lovely visit with my sister and her husband, Laura and David Leach, in Burke, Virginia, we drove down to Harrisonburg with Lisa, and spoke at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (

FCA

) large group meeting Monday night.  Lisa has assumed a position of leadership with FCA at JMU this year and she was so happy to have us speak on the topic of relationships to a good-sized group of student athletes.  We loved it and were honored by the opportunity.  It was an added bonus to have some moments with Lisa as well.  Our trip back to Boston on Tuesday was smooth, fast, and uneventful.  That’s the way we like road trips!

Lisa poses with part of her FCA leadership team after the large group meeting Monday night.

Back to Boston in time for the Patriots women’s study, counseling, the Patriots couples’ study, and more counseling.  In between we also spoke at

Mom to Mom

at

Grace Chapel

, and it was good to reconnect with many dear friends there.

The moms at Grace Chapel’s Mom to Mom were very happy to have access to resources after we spoke.

We flew to California on Friday, Oct. 7, to attend the wedding of a young man who grew up coming to Campus by the Sea.  Over the years, we’ve become close family friends so it was a joy for us to celebrate with Matt Engle and Tara Klein as they entered the covenant of marriage on Oct. 9.  Derek and Julie joined us for the weekend and due to the gracious generosity of friends who loaned us their "empty" home in Camarillo, we had a wonderfully relaxing and refreshing weekend around the wedding festivities.  We got a bit of work done between hiking, swimming, and having a blast with Derek and Jules—and the wedding was delightful.  A really special highlight of being at the wedding—besides the obvious—was reconnecting with one of my best friends from college, Janet Siemens Spencer and her husband Greg, who is a professor at

Westmont

.  Janet played the piano at our wedding and we hadn’t seen each other for about 23 years.  We had a great time filling in the blanks of the past many years and made a commitment to stay in better touch.  What an unexpected gift!

We hiked to Paradise Falls in Camarillo with Derek and Julie during the wedding weekend.

 What a joy to reconnect with Greg and Janet Spencer at Matt and Tara Engle’s wedding.

Two last visits before flying back to Boston completed the trip.  We had the joy of meeting the almost-3-month-old son of friends whom we married last September.  Since we've known the new dad since he was born, it was very special to meet the next generation.  Much to our delight, his mom, my very dear friend Wendy, was also included in the visit.  We spent the night with another very dear Wendy (Turney), and flew back to Boston on Tuesday, Oct. 11, very, very grateful for a memorable-on-many-levels weekend.

And so life goes on.  We were back in the saddle in New England for a mere 48 hours.  But that’s news for the next blog.

Part 2: The Hills Were Alive

Saturday, Sept. 3, 2011:  Rain started as we parted ways with Nugents at Zurich Airport and continued for most of the next 48 hours.  We drove to Zug, Switzerland, to stay with Campus by the Sea friends who have recently relocated to this adorable town just 30 minutes from the airport.  Though much later than expected, the Tobins welcomed us warmly with a home-cooked dinner and lots of love.  It was such a gift to find shelter with them, especially on this rainy, messy night.  The rain abated temporarily late morning on Sunday so we (Bernie, Lisa, Paul, and I) hiked the Burgenstock overlooking Lake Lucerne.  I had hiked this with the girls and loved being able to introduce Paul to yet another experience we had shared.  The rain eventually caught us and reinforced what my second grade teacher, Miss March, had told our class the few times we experienced rain during recess:  "You're not sugar, so you won't melt.  Relax!"  It was a great hike with wonderful friends, who welcomed us to stay the night again rather than drive to Salzburg in the bad weather that night.  That gave us time to tour their town by foot and with umbrellas.  We were soaking wet by the time we finished, but it whetted our appetite to return when the sun is shining.  

Bernie, Lisa, Anna, and Kelly Tobin were wonderful hosts in Zug
(their daughter Emma was on a weekend trip).

On the Burgenstock hike, our banana yellow rain ponchos came in very handy.  

We took off early the next morning and drove in the rain to Salzburg.  I love Salzburg for so many reasons.  My love affair with this beautiful place began the first time I saw "The Sound of Music" in 1966 at the Loma Theater in San Diego, CA, with my beloved teacher Mimi Test.  That was the first of many viewings of this epic musical and each time I've been in Salzburg, I'm filled with the a desire to run through the green hillsides singing "The hills are alive....with the sound of music" and to relive the romance, drama, adventure, suspense, and beauty of this spectacular place.  We found a "zimmer frei" on the Moosestrasse (thank you, Rick Steves!) and headed right to downtown to begin our explore.  We had a fresh fish dinner on the banks of the Salzach River and topped it off with . . . yep, gelato!  As the sun set and the waxing 3/4 moon rose, we made our way back to our "gausthaus" to a cozy night. 

Little did we know that our cozy night would be interrupted.  Paul wakened with severe chest pains around 4 a.m. and only then did we think about how much we didn't know and how limited we were technologically.  No cell phones, no WiFi, no idea where the local hospital was, and no idea of who to contact and how to contact them.  When 30 minutes had elapsed and he was continuing to have severe pain, we hopped in the car and thanked the Lord for the GPS once again.  It directed us to the hospital, which was only 3.5 km away (PTL) and long story short, after six hours in the ER, two EKG's, two sets of blood work, an IV of saline, and an injection of a strong antacid,  he was released.  Thank you, Lord!  For awhile, it was looking like our trip was going to take a very sharp turn in a direction we hadn't seen coming.  None the worse for the wear, Paul insisted on continuing the tour since he by then felt back to normal.  So off we went.  :)

Released from the Krankenhaus (hospital), we resumed our travels.

First stop, the Untersburgbahn.  We did something "unusual" for us in Salzburg and bought the "Salzburg Card" which granted us admission to everything for one low price.  As a result, we did many things we never would've "paid" for individually and we loved it.  The Untersburgbahn is an aerial tram to the top of the Untersburg, which gave us an incredible view of Salzburg and neighboring villages.  From there we toured Hellbrun Castle and the magical water fountains.  Hellbrun Castle hosts the glass gazebo used during the "I am 16 going on 17" scene in SOM.  We had so much fun trying to avoid getting wet by the craftily hidden spouts of water throughout the grounds.  Since the day was gorgeous and warm, the occasional spray which hit us was welcome.

We spent the balance of the day walking the Monchberg and eating.  Somehow, even with the late start of 11:30 a.m., we managed to log 9 miles that day.  Paul's nighttime escapade did catch up with us, however, and we retired early.

View from the top of the Untersburg.

We walked endlessly through Salzburg and never really got tired (at least of what we were seeing!)

After a good night of sleep at "Haus Ballwein", we continued our exploration of Salzburg with our Salzburg card.  "HohenSalzburg" took up much of the morning, and we enjoyed the castle tour as well as the Marionette Theater.  Eventually we did a little shopping and got our "final" gelato before leaving this inviting place.

In HohenSalzburg, we changed roles temporarily.  :)

A little shopping—and a final gelato—and we were on our way.

Next stop, Hallstatt—but first, a breathtaking drive from Salzburg to Hallstatt via Wolfgangsee.  It was the kind of drive that would take forever if you stopped every time you wanted to take a picture.  There is nothing that can rival natural beauty.  Between the spectrum of greens seen in the meadows and trees, the blues in the lakes and skyscapes (which also played host to white, puffy, squeezable clouds), and the splashes of brilliance accented by flowers—each picturesque scene fed our souls and overwhelmed us with the evidence of God's incredible creativity and personal love for us.  I would've happily freeze-framed almost any moment on that drive.

Wolfgangsee is behind us and this photo doesn't begin to do justice to it.

One stop we did make en route to Hallstatt was at the Alpen Sled run or "sommerbotten."  This was in honor of Paul's love for speeding down hillsides—and he did just that.   It was so much fun to be dragged a long way up the side of a great mountain and ride "sleds" down a metal track.  There were two tracks side by side, so we started the descent together.  But Paul had given up that I would ever come off the mountain after at least five minutes passed after he made it to the bottom.  With some genuine concern, he told the operator that he thought something had happened to me.  The operator smiled and said, "She's fine.  She's just slow."  The brake was my best friend and I had a sightseeing tour on the way to the bottom.  I loved my ride and Paul loved his.  He saw nothing.  :)

Just when we thought a more idyllic place than Salzburg could never be found,  we arrived in Hallstatt.  Oh my goodness.  I'm not sure a more Disneyesque place exists (outside of Disneyland....which is so funny, because Disneyland copied these places!).  We checked into our little guesthouse perched on the terraced side of the mountain overlooking the Hallstattsee and wasted no time beginning our walking tour of this tiny town, trying to squeeze everything we could out of the remaining hours of sunlight, as rain was forecast for the next morning.   

View from the porch of our guesthouse in Hallstatt.

Another view from our porch . . . how cute is this??

The weather report was right, and the rain fell heavily the whole next day, so we exchanged our plans to hike to the waterfalls for a tour of the salt mines, for which this area is most known.  It was quite interesting and certainly worth a one time visit, especially on a very wet day.

In our salt mine tour special clothing, we enjoyed this "now we've been there, done that" experience.

We left Hallstatt earlier than planned for drier climes and ended up in Oberammergau.  This unique town hosts the "Passion Play" every ten years and it's been on my "bucket list" for years now to attend the Passion Play some decade.  Even without the play in session (the next performance will be in 2020), this town is so worth visiting.  It seemed like every building was adorned with fresco paintings depicting different scenes from the life of Christ.  Flower boxes.  Cobblestones.  Chalets.  Quaintness redefined.  

We found a room in Herr Anton Zwink's guesthouse.  Turns out that he's been in every Passion Play since 1950 and he has photos of each one hanging in the hallway.   It was very cool to be in his home. 

Herr Anton Zwink in three of the Passion Plays.  He's now performed in seven productions of the play, spanning the past sixty years.

Paul poses with Herr Zwink.
We resisted the temptation to ask for his autograph.  :)

We spent the next morning hiking to the top of Laber, one of the high peaks around Oberammergau.  It was a great hike, until we came upon a herd of grazing cows.  Our long held belief in the passivity of these creatures was turned over by an aggressive bovine who decided he didn't want us to walk across his pasture.  This near-death experience had a happy ending, because Paul turned tail and ran from the oncoming beast and we chose to circumvent the field rather than cross it. Our hearts were wildly pounding for awhile after that, and not from the exertion required by the climb.  The view from the top was well worth the risks taken.  We poked around this makes-you-not-want-to-leave town, but we resisted the pull and continued on to Stuttgart, stopping briefly in Ulm en route to buy some lebkuchen at the Weiss factory.  I bought as though everyone I know loves this German gingerbread, only to be reminded that I'm alone in our family with a desire for this confection.  Oh well, I got great deals.

Approaching the top of Laber, we conquered yet another peak.  :)

Our dear friend Gertrud and her sweet dog, Kuti, warmly welcomed us to Stuttgart with a yummy dinner and great conversation.  We've been friends with Gertrud since she volunteered at Campus by the Sea with her friend Elfriede in 1988.  We're always happy to reconnect with her; she's a wonderful friend.

Gertrud served us a delicious dinner and opened her home to us again.

Gertrud planned a full Saturday, which started with a hike in the Schwaibese Albs in Bartoloma and continued with a tour of the Steiff factory.  Steiff makes very high-end specialized stuffed animals and we had a great time touring the factory and posing with some of their larger products.  Very fun.  On to a beautiful monastery which is home to a spectacular cathedral, and then to a castle which set in view of our outdoor dinner.  We were joined at the Steiff factory by Elfriede and Uwe and the five of us had a grand time together.

Does it look like Paul is enjoying the Steiff factory?  :)

Gertrud, Elifriede, and I also had fun.

Sunday dawned beautifully and we met up with the Maiers again for a hike overlooking Hohenzollern.  Everything was beautiful about this hike and the company could hardly be improved upon.  We enjoyed a hearty meal of sauerbrauten at hike's end and then paid a visit to Uwe's mother's house for some homemade plum cake and coffee.  :)  We said our good-byes and sadly left our German friends for parts further south.

Kuti kept up with us on our hike on this gorgeous Sabbath.  

Gertrud, Elfriede, and Uwe extended such warm hospitality to us!

Final stop of this excellent journey: Titisee.  This sweet Black Forest village surrounds a beautiful lake (there is a theme!  We like bodies of water!).  Julie and I had hiked around the lake in 2006 so Paul and I hiked the highest peak in the Black Forest, the Feldberg, as recommended by Elfriede and Uwe.  Initially we thought twice about doing the hike when we saw the cool temps and cloud cover, but a look at the weather cam in the visitor's center gave us the assurance that within an hour, it would be warmer and clear.  And it was right!  

"Highest peak" might give the wrong impression.  Though true, the reality is that there aren't many high peaks in the Black Forest and this one was less than half the height of the Schilthorn, coming in under 2000 meters.  What it lacked in height, it made up for in distance and nine miles later, we made it back to the car.  We did stop at the Feldbergsee for lunch and we drank in the beauty of this pristine lake hidden in the valley of the mountains surrounding it. 

Lunch by the Feldbergsee was a welcomed refueling stop during our 9-mile hike.

Back to the town of Titisee, we briefly considered walking around the lake, but easily gave in to the seduction of shops and eateries as we sampled our way through the town.   All the while, we willed the millions of ticking cuckoo clocks to stop to make time stand still.  We were both very aware that our excellent adventure was coming to a close.

On the shores of the Titisee, we take it all in, very aware that the sand is

almost through the hour glass of this excellent adventure.

We spent our last night on the border of Germany and Switzerland, in Waldshut, to facilitate our early morning flight from Zurich.  Under a full moon sky, we wandered through a meadow full of grazing cows and then ate cheese and bread on the balcony of our room.  It was a perfect end to an unbelievable trip. 

The full moon rose over Waldshut on our last night in Europe.

Packed and ready, we board our flight in Zurich.

Our hearts were as packed with gratitude and joy as were our suitcases.  So many great moments.  So many beautiful views.  So many God-sightings.

And about that fresh new leather-bound journal I gave Paul on the first day of the trip?  On the plane as we returned to America, Paul pulled it out of his backpack and began writing fast and furiously.  I smiled.  We are so different in so many ways—but there's no one in the world I would rather have made this trip with than him.

Part 1: The hills were alive . . .

From the Lauterbrunen Valley in Switzerland—views like this were the rule, not the exception.

We've been home from Europe for just over a week now and I've had a curious avoidance to writing about this beyond-our-expectations trip.  Not that we’ve been sitting around eating bonbons—nor wondering what to do with all our free time since returning—but I finally realized last night that writing a blog post about the trip officially makes it “over,” “finished,” “done”—part of our history—and there’s a part of me that doesn't want to acknowledge that this long-awaited trip is now in our rear view mirror! 

The vast majority of me, however, simply delights in the reality of it and relishes the memories, which I’ll now transfer from iPhoto and my mind (with what I know will be inadequate words) to offer you a description of Paul's 60th (plus 1) rite-of-passage journey.

The idea of doing this trip was launched by our dear German friend Gertrud, who had hosted the girls and me on each of their rite-of-passage journeys at age 21.  After my third and final daughter trip with Julie, Gertrud asked, “And what about Paul?  When will his rite of passage journey be?”  That set the wheels in motion five years ago and his 60th birthday was deemed the appropriate milestone. 

But God had other plans, and Paul’s 60th birthday was marked by the birth of our first grandchild, Brandon, so plans for Europe were happily postponed for a year. And so it came that his 61th birthday was celebrated in Gimmelwald, Switzerland, with a hike to the top of the Schilthorn (an almost 4000-meter peak rising from the Lauterbrunen Valley.)

The trip came on the heels of an intense summer, as previous posts record.  Ten weeks were dedicated to family camp (including orientation and other preparations), followed immediately by Julie and Derek’s wedding on August 21.  Only 2 days after returning to Bedford from the wedding, we flew to Zurich.  We briefly considered postponing our departure when the doctor said I had a touch of pneumonia along with a lot of bronchitis, but with Hurricane Irene making her way up the coast, we knew we had to get out before she arrived.  And we were so glad we did!  Thankfully, the Z-pack antibiotics combined with lots of prayer cured what ailed me, so our trip was unhampered.

The first week of our 17-day trip was shared with our chosen family friends, John and Marilyn.  Starting with renting a car, we replicated the trip I made with the girls, with one major adjustment: maps were replaced by a GPS system. I must say, that change alleviated most of the “breakdown” moments I had had navigating in unknown lands, guided with little more than poor maps in hand.  What a gift to be GPS-directed!!

The 21st-birthday rite-of-passage journey focuses on clarifying life purpose, so the girls were each given a new leather journal in which to record God-sightings and life lessons learned on the journey, as well as Gail MacDonald’s book A Step Farther and Higher which has an excellent chapter on how to write a life-purpose statement. (More details are found in my book Raising a Trailblazer: Rite-of-Passage Trail Markers for your Set-Apart Teen.)  I did give Paul a new journal—possibly his first ever, since journaling is not his cup of tea  :)—and suggested he record reflections of his journey to date and thoughts about his “second half.”  He smiled and put the journal in his backpack.  

Our first stop was Interlaken, and on a indescribably gorgeous spring-like day, we took the “Jungfraubahn” to the “Top of Europe.”  The trilogy of snow-topped Alps—the Eiger, the Monch, and the Jungfrau—are well known ice-climbing peaks, as well as hosts to a cogwheel rack railway to the Jungfraujoch, billed as the highest railway station in Europe.  From the top, on a clear day. you can see forever—360 degrees of forever—and we took it all in.  We were overwhelmed, to be honest, by the majesty of God as shown in creation.  Being able to hike in light clothing to the backpackers "hut" was a real treat.  Great time!  Our stop in Grindlewald on the way back to Interlaken was also quite magical.  That sweet town is everything you imagine when thinking of a little Swiss hamlet at the base of gianormous Alps, with flower-bedecked chalets dotting the velvety green meadows and the sound of cow bells in surround-sound.  LOVE it.  Also taking advantage of the day were hundreds of para-gliders, whose colorful chutes made a garden in the sky.  We were mesmerized by it all.

From the “Top of Europe” on the Jungfrau, we enjoy incredible views from every angle.

Hiking to the JungMonchHuitte, we enjoy very balmy weather as we walk on the glacier.

Loving every minute of it . . .

Next stop:  Gimmelwald, the home of Walter’s Hotel.  It was a hike to get there, after leaving the car parked in Lauterbrunen and taking with us only what would fit in our daypacks, but well worth it.  The incredible beauty surrounding us minimized the physical challenge of hiking the six miles—but my hiking companions did tire of me saying, “It’s just around the next bend.”  There were many more bends than I recalled.  :)

I was most excited about staying at “Walter’s” even though it was the least comfortable place we stayed on the trip.  The girls and I fell in love with Walter, a now 87-year-old Swiss gentleman who runs his hotel to benefit an Indian tribe in South America.  He’s remarkable.  He does most of the cooking and for years managed the hotel on his own.  He now has a “business partner” in Tim from England, who spends from May to November helping Walter run the place.  The hotel is largely unremarkable, but its quaint, family-oriented simplicity embraces you and the intangibles fill in the gaps.  Fortunately, my three traveling companions loved it too.  :)

Arriving at Walter’s Hote-L in Gimmelwald . . .

. . . we’re amazed that 87-year-old Walter is still running the place.

We conquered the Schilthorn on Monday.  This was the big one.  The impending hike unsettled each of us with questions of “can we do this?”  I had hiked it with Lisa and with Julie (it was closed when Kari and I made our trip in early May 2001), and in both cases, I was thoroughly challenged.  Long story short, we did make it, and I must say it was very fun for me to be in the “You can make it!” cheerleading role that I had been the recipient of on the two previous hikes.  :)  The first 2/3 of the hike we enjoyed gorgeous, springlike weather, but clouds moved in and during the last third, we were enveloped.  Most disappointing was getting to the top and being able to see nothing.  :(  That was overshadowed by the incredible joy of making it to the top alive which truly required “leaving it all on the mountain.”

Our hike to the top of the Schilthorn starts out under clear blue skies.  We loved walking behind this waterfall.

Still clear, the views of the opposing Alps are spectacular.

We were glad to get these cloudless photos early in the hike.

Though it looks like we've made it to the top, we still had a long way to go.

The top at last! The clouds and we arrived at about the same time.

Making it to almost 4000 meters, we were thankful, spent, and only mildly disappointed that we couldn't see a thing.  

I think Paul breathed a huge sigh of relief once we had conquered the Schilthorn.  Sort of like taking a final exam.  Once done, the rest is easy.  

So with sore feet and exhausted bodies, we took the gondola down to Murren and made our way back to Walter's for his delicious meal of lamb, rice, and mushrooms before hitting the hay.  The beds could’ve been made of nails and we wouldn't have noticed.  :)

On to the Cinque Terre on the northern coast of Italy we went, after hiking down from Gimmelwald, through Steckelborg, and across the unbelievably alive-with-natural-beauty Lauterbrunen Valley.  From waterfalls to wildflowers and everything in between, we were constantly “oohing” and “ahhing” and snapping photos like crazy.  Absolutely lovely!

Our drive over the Susten Pass was likewise spectacular on that springlike day, and such a different experience than when Lisa and I had decided to take that route in 2004 since it was clearly the shortest distance between two points on the map. That day was not springlike, but rainy and foggy, and making the drive on the two-lane road (without guardrails in many places) was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done.  With trucks as our only real companions on the road, we had a white knuckle drive I hope to never repeat—and we couldn’t see a thing.

Driving the Susten Pass on our journey from Interlaken to the Cinque Terre, we had backdrops like this.  :)   

How different it was to drive the Susten Pass on a clear, beautiful day!  The vistas were incredible, and though the roads were the same narrow two-lane unguarded windy ones Lisa and I drove, we enjoyed every minute of the 45-minute journey because we could see everything.  A great spiritual lesson recorded in my journal.

We arrived in the Cinque Terre just after sunset on Tuesday, August 30, and settled in to a great hotel overlooking the water.  After a good night’s sleep, we hit the trail, hiking between the towns of Monterroso, Vernazza, and Corniglia.  It wasn't lost on us that we were overwhelmed by the beauty of God's creation in the Cinque Terre—though it stood in sharp contrast to the kind of beauty we had loved in Switzerland.  From the ice peaks and glaciers of the Alps, to the warm “liquid ice” of the Ligurian Sea . . . From the verdant green meadows and blossoming flowers growing wildly or meticulously placed in window boxes, to the dusty, cobbley footpaths which wended through vineyards and terraced gardens producing fresh basil or rosemary—or orchards of olives, fig, or apple trees, we were reminded over and again of the amazing diversity of creation, and of the vast spectrum of what we consider “beautiful.”  We drank it in as we hiked a good 10-12 miles that day, interrupting the sweat-producing exercise with dips in the refreshing sea at least twice, and indulging in gelato the same number of times.  We capped the day with fresh caprese and delicious seafood eaten on the porch of our hotel room as the sunset melted into the western horizon.  It really doesn’t get much better than that.

In Cinque Terre, we begin our first hike from Monterroso to Vernazza on a gorgeous day.

What a difference 24 hours makes!

We rewarded ourselves with dips in the Ligurian Sea to be refreshed after our

arduous and quite warm hiking in the Cinque Terre.

We continued the reward with gelato . . . the best!!

We delighted in the sunset from our balcony in Manarola as we ate our dinner.

More hiking in the Cinque Terre, with unbelievable sights along the way.

We did more hiking the next day before packing up and heading to Florence, but not before indulging in more gelato.  “Carpe Diem!”

We had a full day in Florence, and we packed it in.  We toured the Uffizi Museum as well as L’Accademie, which houses Michelangelo's statue of David.  We also walked almost 20 miles as we explored this historic, artistic city.  We continued our love affair with gelato in Florence.  :)  We had a great time, but preferring hiking mountains and swimming in oceans to museums in general, we weren’t sorry to drive out of Florence on Saturday morning, Sept. 3, only 36 hours after arriving. 

From the Piazzale de Michelangelo, the overview of Florence was amazing.

A great dinner outdoors was a fitting end to a great day of touring Florence.

The drive from Florence back to Zurich was the only part of the trip we'd rather not remember.  Apparently everyone in Europe decided to end their holiday on the same day and through the same route, which also happened to be on a day that several key roads were closed for repairs. So the 6-hour trip ended up taking 11 hours, and our small window to explore Zurich closed as we made a painfully slow trip to the airport.  Fortunately, the Nugents weren't flying out until Sunday morning, so their return flight was unaffected.  We took advantage of our setting by talking endlessly about our family histories, our hopes and dreams, and eventually even defaulted to singing. It seemed fitting to break up the challenge of being held captive by traffic by singing “The Grumbler’s Song” and that definitely added levity to our situation.

This was our view most of the 11 hours it took us to get from Florence to Zurich. Yikes!

We sadly parted ways with the Nugents at this point, and they returned to the States to rest their weary muscles and sore feet and to revel in the accomplishments experienced and the beauty seen.  Our days together were packed with wonderfully unforgettable moments and we'll cherish them always.  

We headed to the small town of Zug to hang with some dear friends . . . and part 2 will pick up there!

Sacred Marriage

And so it began, in February 2009, when Julie followed the call of God to Mbale, Uganda, to volunteer as a physical therapy aide at the CURE International hospital.  The last thing Julie expected was to find a husband during this five month, pre-physical therapy school missions experience, but this past Sunday, August 21, Derek and Julie wed in a garden wedding in Santa Clarita, California.

There is only one plausible explanation for the unfolding of this beautiful story, and that is the hand of God.  Nothing short of that could've caused the paths of these two to have intersected in this rural village in central Africa.

As we prepared for the wedding (in between running 8 weeks of family camps), I reflected on the 2.5 year journey that brought them to the place of entering a sacred marriage.

This is the first photo Julie sent us of Derek and we were touched by his tenderness with this precious child.

Then the emails came.  I've included some excerpts to give insight into how things progressed.

Feb. 4, 2009: I got here and met Derek... He took about 2 hours touring me around, introducing me to people and just talking.  He is a great guy and it should be a fun time working along side of him.

Feb 6, 2009: dinner with Derek was great.  He took me to an indian resturaunt, we were the only two and we got to sit outside cuz the power has been out for 5 days... ouch:) We saw a beautiful lightning storm and had great food.  He is a very nice man. I think he is older (late 30's) but very nice.  No romantic attraction at all which is great.  I think he will take care of me... he has a lot going on and is a guy so i have done alot of asking for things, but he is very gracious when he does.  

March 8, 2009: I just got back from dinner with Derek and Brent and it was a blast.  Derek is so funny and great to be around. I look forward to you meeting him. 

April 10, 2009:   Last night Derek, Silvio (plastic surgeon from NYC) and I went to dinner at this restaurant called Dwat which is a place you can eat on the roof.  The moon was full and rose over Winale as we sat there... I thought, and talked, about all of our fun full moon traditions.  It made me miss you guys so much and camp! It was a spell binding and breathtaking sight and time.  I am pretty sure Derek is not the one for me, which is a bummer because we are having some great times together! After dinner, we came back here and Derek just stayed chatting for 2 more hours.  It is so relaxed and easy and there is so much to talk about. I am so blessed to have him here.  This time would be dramatically different without him.  

(On Julie's 24 birthday, April 19, Derek asked Julie is he could date her.  She said a conditional yes!) 

April 20, 2009:  Thank you for your prayers for Derek and me.  I need them for sure.  You know how my mind works, runs and overthinks sometimes.  I am honestly humbled by this guy.  I feel like he gets me well and has fallen in love with who Jesus has made me to be, the heart He has given me, the personality He has given me, etc.  I still have my eyes wide open to red flags, am trying to listen and hear them as much as I can and yet trying not to let my fears of our age difference, etc.  block me from receiving what God is offering for this time for me.  I am taking it one day at a time, one interaction at a time, praying for wisdom and insight only Christ can truly offer.

April 21, 2009:   Thanks for your prayers. Derek continues to treat me far better than I deserve.  I feel blessed by God through him and his words of encouragement.  I do not feel blinded, just blessed and at peace for this season. I love you! Miss you!  

May 2, 2009:   I feel like with ALL integrity, I can tell you that I really do like Derek, but I am not sold nor am I thinking “he is the one.”
The rest of the day was wonderful, he is just easy to be with, I did not get sick of him once and we just had fun laughing, talking and walking.  I feel so safe with him in all senses of the word.  I just feel like it is a gift, no matter how long or short lived it is.  In many ways, I feel that God is showing me His love for me and the caliber of guy that is out there and that He desires for me. 

May 28, 2009 (Derek) I truly enjoyed our time together in Uganda. Although I wish it would have not be as brief, no amount of time would have been adequate. I have the utmost respect and admiration for you and Paul... for many reasons, but mostly for bringing up wonderful daughters (I've now experienced two Friesen girls... the third is surely in the same vein). I'm also really thankful for your insight, support and prayers for myself and my relationship with Julie. More than anything, both of us simply want to be in His will and living-working for His purposes alone. In emotionally charged situations, like new relationships, wisdom from Godly, trusted people makes all the difference. So thank you for giving so much of your bandwidth to my part in this, as well as Julie's. Julie and I have the vision that this relationship is His doing, but keeping it open enough for Him to come in and work it out. Thank you for sharing in that vision. I'm hopeful we'll visit face-to-face again on your side (Boston) soon.  

May 28, 2009:  (Julie)  He is amazing and such an incredible gift to me.  I continue to like him more every day and am just humbled by the way the Lord loves me through Derek. It is so true that when I leave interacting with him I feel so much more in love with Jesus than I was even before that interaction. I know it is still so early and there are a lot of things that loom ahead on the horizon, but mom, I never thought I would really feel this way or even be treated this well.  I know it is what God calls for relationships, but I am almost brought to tears so many times as I just feel cherished. Just as I am.  That by no means states that he does not challenge me or spurs me on, but he does not care about who I am going to be.  He cares for me, the girl God has created.
It is humbling, it is amazing. I love being with him… So pray, Mom.  I want more than ever to hear words of wisdom, warning, and advice and I don’t want to walk into this blind. 

The rest, as they say, is history.  Julie returned to the states late July 2009 and started physical therapy school that September.  She and Derek carried on a long-distance relationship for the next two years, and now, by God’s grace, they'll have a side-by-side relationship for the rest of their days.

“We're MARRIED!!!!”

After years of praying for God to bring into her life a “man of standing,” we were filled with awe during their ceremony at the faithfulness of God in orchestrating the circumstances of their lives to bring them to this point.  And the wedding celebrated all that is good.  Two, surrendered to Christ, passionate for His purposes, and passionate for one another.  Surrounded by two families, committed to Christ, to marriage (Derek’s parents are celebrating their 40th anniversary on the central coast as I write, and we just passed our 35th in April), to family, to serving, to missions.  Supported by a “cloud of witnesses,” including people from around the world who traveled to Santa Clarita to join the celebration, and whose influence on Julie and Derek's life is treasured by them.  Set in a gorgeous garden amphitheater, made to look like a tended secret garden by the incredible floral design talents of our dear friend Wendy Turney and her sidekick Sharon, with perfect weather and a cloudless blue sky.

Their wedding was both sacred and joyous.  Dr. David Hegg, long time friend and mentor to Julie and Derek (and senior pastor of Grace Baptist Church where the wedding was held), set the stage for a God-honoring ceremony with his opening comments and prayer.  He handed the ceremony off to Paul after Paul handed Derek off to Julie, and there weren’t many dry eyes as Paul delivered a very inspired and personal charge to them.  Danny and Rayna Oertli wrote and sang the song “Welcome Home” for them, and Uncle David and Aunt Laura read scripture.  The two sets of parents served them communion.  Pastor John Tebay, who co-officiated our wedding (and whose wife Grace played the piano for the service) ended the ceremony with a prayer of blessing on the couple.  It was exactly what they wanted.

Paul gives them a final charge before pronouncing them husband and wife.

The reception was on site and all enjoyed some yummy food, a bit of dancing, and a few toasts with Martinellis.  All too fast, 9 pm arrived, and Derek and Julie were on their way.

We are filled with gratitude and are overwhelmed by God’s goodness in all of this.  We’ll continue ruminating on it in the weeks ahead, savoring God’s grace and generosity to us.  And to them.

Toasting Martinellis as the sun sets on their first day as husband and wife.

The newly expanded Friesen family.

I couldn’t really leave this photo out.

Living the Life

We exchanged the ocean for a lake.  Cactus for trees.  Sunshine for liquid sunshine (at times).  Flip flops for tennies.  Pit toilets and outdoor showers for indoor plumbing and electricity.  Orange shirts for green shirts.  Sand volleyball, basketball by the sea, kayaks, and inner-tubes for a rifle range, archery, climbing walls, grass, gaga pits, and carpet ball. 

Family Camp at Campus by the Sea for Family Camp at Camp Berea on Newfound Lake.

Though very different, it’s actually very much the same.

The same incredible staff.  The same kind of enthusiastic families, who come wanting to hear from God, wanting their families to be reinforced, wanting to maximize the potential of this unique “vacation with a purpose.”  The same theme, curriculum, and crafts. The same commitment from the facilities’ crew to meeting the needs of the campers in an "above and beyond" sort of way.  The same awareness that change will happen not because of what we do, but because of what God does.

We arrived at Camp Berea on Saturday, August 6, committed to overcoming jet lag in order to energetically serve the Home Improvement Ministries (H.I.M.) Family Camp 1 which launched that evening.  A record 22 staff (all but three who had served together all summer at CBS) flew in from all over to make family camp happen.  Joined by a half dozen “locals,” we jelled quickly and were off and running, ready to do what we could do to meet the needs of our 250 campers.

Six days later, as we wrapped up our amazing week together and took an all-camp photo, we agreed that God had met us in ways which exceeded our expectations.  Some made the decision to follow Christ.  Some were baptized. Some experienced a new vision of hope for their marriage. Some made decisions to renounce ungodly behavior. It was a powerful week.

Richard and Donna Dahlstrom, from Bethany Community Church in Seattle, served as our resource couple for both weeks of family camp.  Richard “hit it out of the park” with his teaching.  Equally important, both Donna and Richard endeared themselves to all of us by becoming one of us.  They were available, approachable, authentic, and “fully in” all that family camp has to offer. Richard's teaching was nothing short of brilliant and both his and Donna’s lives lent credibility to the message.  Their love for Jesus and their commitment to “justice, mercy, and a humble walk with God” couldn't be missed.  The request for their return was seemingly unanimous.

Very dignified for the banquet, Richard and Donna Dahlstrom looked the speaker part . . .

. . . but don't be fooled.  They were terrors during “finger blasters” and held nothing back.

Family Camp is so much more than any one element.  Yes, we are very committed to spiritual growth on all levels, but we’re also committed to providing an intergenerational context for families to have a blast together.  Our game show night provides one of the contexts for family fun, and this year’s game, “Gender Defender,” has been described by many as the best game show ever. Borrowing ideas from “Minute to Win It,” our game show team did a phenomenal job of putting together a fast moving and engaging evening of family fun that involved many contestants.  Kory Kraning, Taylor Tebay, Kady Broman, and Whitnee Sherman made it happen on stage, while Brian Dietz emceed from the sound booth and co-hosts “Bob and Vanna” kept it moving.  It is safe to say that fun was had by all.

David and Vincent Swaim are pitted against Michelle and Angelina Swaim in “Paper Dragon.”

Steve and Liz Lane go head to head in “A Bit Dicey.”

Avonne and Kendra Jarvis succeed in pitching a bigger “Temper Tantrum” than Skip and Patrick Jarvis by giving it their all.

Julie Macrae practices “Face the Cookie” just in case we do this contest again next year.

The “Gender Defender” team:  Vanna, Kady, Whitnee, Taylor, Kory, and “Bob” (aka “the wig”)

Morning devotions are another important element of family camp and Paul’s creative genius combined with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit made all four devotions very poignant and full of impact.  It continues to be true that “kids say the darndest things.” That and Paul’s gift of being very quick on his feet contributed to moments of hilarity that punctuated spiritual truth during every devotion.

During this devotion, four children were asked to “pick their parent’s nose” which poked through a hole in the sheet.  Though most of the children didn’t “know” their parent’s “nose,” Paul assured them that the Good Shepherd “knows” them individually.

Worship is another great element of family camp and Kory Kraning and Brian Dietz (and a talented team of musicians and vocalists) did a great job of leading us twice a day in worship. The ever popular “Butterfly Song” and “I am Somebody”  never lacked enthusiasm, no matter how many times sung.  It’s such a picture of the body of Christ to see the generations gathered in worship, with parents singing “kids” songs and kids singing hymns.  Love it.

The children crowd the stage to sing some of their favorites.

Many life-changing decisions are made at camp, and within this safe community, each summer several campers ask to be baptized.  During family camp 1, we did 6 baptisms in Newfound Lake in a very meaningful service witnessed by many of the campers.  Moments like these add such depth to our whole experience.

The Grieci family, Jake, and Liz were all baptized during the first family camp.

Most of the family camp community witnessed the baptisms and celebrated the decisions made.

What makes family camp the kind of experience that many families say is the highlight of their year?  What makes it work?  The obvious answer is God, and truly we know beyond a shadow of doubt that without the power and presence of God, family camp would be fun but not eternally impacting.  But God uses all the elements mentioned to accomplish His purposes, and He does it largely through our staff.

And this staff has managed to dig deep and make these campers feel like it’s week one again. They ignored jet lag, overlooked some sniffles, didn’t let the rain dampen their enthusiasm, and gave it their all.  Paul and I have been deeply moved by the depth of maturity and selflessness consistently displayed by this team.  We’ve never worked with an “easier” group and that has been gift to us.

The staff enjoy a “boatload” of lunch during our “day-off” between camps.

Claudia, Danielle, and Kady are triumphant after successfully canoeing around the lake and never tipping.

Ice cream all around. Yum!

Dunkin Donuts indoctrination was successful: many converts.

As the 2011 family camp season draws to a close, we are more deeply passionate about these weeks than we’ve ever been.  God uses the uniqueness of family camp in such potent ways to renew, to recharge, and to recreate.  We are aware of how seminal family camp has been in the shaping of our family life and are overwhelmed with gratitude for the privilege of directing this program 35 years running.

After family camp, a single mom wrote:  “I want to thank you for another incredible experience at family camp.  We look forward to camp all year and we’re never disappointed. From the moment we arrived, we felt completely cared for. The stress begins to melt away immediately. And God faithfully met each one in our family through your wonderful staff and incredible program.  We’re already counting the days ’til we return.”

As I write, I’m flying to California—before family camp 2 in New England ends.   Julie and Derek’s wedding is this Sunday, August 21, so my higher calling is to be with my baby daughter during her final days as Julie Friesen.  Derek flew in from Uganda on July 30, just in time to experience our last 24 hours of family camp at CBS, and they’ve spent the last 2 weeks working around Julie's internship, packing, planning, and preparing.  I can’t wait to join the fun!  Paul will wrap up camp and join us Friday.

So our “never a dull moment” life continues . . . and we’re so thankful to be “living life to the full.” 

Farewell, CBS 2011

The record-setting 32 staff take a “staff only” hike along the shore.

We blinked and 7 weeks were history at Campus By the Sea.  Twenty-four hours ago, we once again left the rocky shore of this sacred place. I want to relate some of the amazing stories of the summer, which remind us that the summer extends far beyond the days we’re here.

And that’s because it’s not about us or what we do, but about the Spirit of God, who faithfully meets us and our 200 (on average) campers per week in ways that exceed our imaginations.  Every week, part of His story for each person in camp is written, and some of those stories are read aloud, while others are tucked away in the hearts and souls of those for whom they are written.

But first, a brief recap of the past five weeks.  Camp 2 was full of adrenaline, as is always true when Ray Johnston speaks at CBS.  Lots of laughter, fun, and inspiration with Ray—and the joy for us of continuing the journey with the Johnston family—all six of whom were at family camp.  We always love hanging with them.

Family Camp 3 with David and Cherylyn Hegg was our only not-full camp of the summer.  For some reason the 4th of July camp, when the 4th falls on Friday through Monday, struggles to fill, and this year was no exception.  There are certain clear advantages of a camp of 120, but since we know how impactful family camps are, we lamented the empty beds.  That didn’t keep us from throwing ourselves fully into the wonderful group of families who gathered this week, and again we experienced God at work among us.  It seemed as though the American Bison that live on Catalina Island heard of our low enrollment, so several of them joined us in camp for the entire week . . . at times, settling to rest right on paths, effectively cutting off several “commuter trails” in camp.  Paul and I even began carrying flashlights to avoid having a collision with one of these over-stuffed, burly, generally tame—but still wild—bison.   They definitely upped the “wow” factor in camp.

The highlight for us, though, was not the bison in camp, but having a large Boston contingent in camp, including the Martises, Steeles, and Welches.  It was a first for Jim, Sue, and Matthew Martis, and we loved introducing them to our “real” world.  As always, we also loved hanging out with David and Cherylyn.  Great people.

New England had a fair representation at camp 3 with the Welches, Barbara Steele, Linda Lue Leiserson, and the Martis family.

Howard Clark taught at family camp 4 and was deeply appreciated for his rich teaching.  So many commented at the banquet on Howard’s sessions, most acknowledging that it was a rare treat to hear such profound teaching.  Most memorable this week was having Garth and Rosemary Dougan in camp.  Now 88 and 86, their level of remarkability just increases.  Garth had actually spent a few days in the hospital the week before, so their ability to come to camp was in question.  There was not a dry eye in the Main Deck on Monday night when they sneaked in at the end of singing.  What great joy especially for their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, all who had gathered for a family reunion at CBS.

A treasured moment with Garth and Rosemary Dougan and the program staff.

Lisa, Kari, Brandon, and I left before family camp 4 was over to attend a family wedding in Petersburg, VA.  Though it’s very difficult to leave camp at all during the summer, we couldn’t miss the wedding of our niece, Emily Newman, so we went and had a great time.  It was a joy to celebrate the union of this very special niece and the great man God has brought into her life.  The trip, though exhausting, was made much easier by the fact that Brandon acted like a seasoned traveler and was so easy.  Praise God!  Could’ve been a nightmare.  :)

We made a quick, 4-day trip to Virginia to honor our niece, Emily, as she married Kevin Frith.  Standing between Lisa and me is our nephew Frankie.

Family Camp 5 was packed, full of life, and smooth.  David and Carrie Tebay served as our resource couple and David’s teaching on Matthew 16:24 was phenomenal.  It was hard-hitting within a framework of grace—and again, many of the comments at the banquet affirmed that God had spoken through David. Our annual staff hike to “Lone Tree” happened on Wednesday of this week, and we were blessed with a perfect-for-hiking marine layer which made the 8.5 mile hike much easier.

David and Carrie Tebay carried on the strong Tebay tradition of excellent Biblical teaching, as well as of modeling strong family life.

And then camp 6 arrived.  By now, we veterans knew that this summer would stand out as one of the best ever, so we reinforced the importance of finishing well and committed ourselves to leaving it all “on the beach.”  We welcomed camp 6 as though our freshness and energy were at camp 1 levels and we reminded ourselves that we're about “honoring God, honoring the community, and honoring the community standards so we could serve the campers well”—and the staff did it. They stepped up. They dug deep.  And they served with humility, perseverance, and joy.  We've never felt better about the quality, unity, and humility of the entire team, from program staff to facilities staff to camp leadership.

Gary Gaddini spoke for camp 6 and he’s just incredibly gifted in teaching truth with relevance and grace.  He’s infectious.  His teaching through the book of Habakkuk was profound and God used him to speak to the hearts of so many.  Very powerfully.

Gary and Anne Gaddini helped us finish well by speaking at our last family camp.

It’s hard to put into words just how rich this summer was, because all 35 summers we’ve had at CBS have been rich in different ways.

But this one will go down in history as one of the best, if not the best, summers ever.  We’ve thought a lot about what made it so special, and there are many things.  At the top of the list was having Dennis and Susan Mansfield with us as the ”Dean and Deana” of Little Gallagher’s (our staff-housing cove).   This now empty-nested couple, who spent 28 summers bringing their kids to family camp, served alongside us and invested mightily in the staff.  Susan directed our children’s program as well as crafts, and Dennis  . . . well, he didn’t have a job description per se, but he spent hours of each day interacting personally with staff, caring for them, challenging them, loving on them.  It was pure gold to have them in the community this summer.

Having Gabe, Kari, and Brandon on the team was another huge factor.  Gabe designed the staff training material, led the men’s study, and with Kari, led our college group each week.  They also invested greatly in staff.  And best of all, having a baby on staff again brought joy to all.  And I’m not just saying that because I’m his grandma.  He brightened everyone’s days with his “Big Easy” disposition and ready smiles.

Gabe, Kari, and Brandon are ready for the final banquet of the 2011 season.

The addition of Chef D’Arcy LeTourneau and his beautiful family contributed to the specialness.  Not only were the meals out of this world (it will actually be a huge adjustment to return to our very simple style of eating after this summer!), but even more, the spirit of the LeTourneaus was refreshing.  Their commitment to serve every camper in the dining hall joyfully and well was remarkable and unflagging.

Chef D’Arcy and his family love on Brandon, whom they love in spite of his allegiance to the Red Sox. (D’Arcy’s favorite team cannon even be mentioned here.)

Another factor was the depth of unity among the leadership at camp.  We so love partnering with Dave and Kim Noble and their team and appreciate their commitment to working together to make family camps the best they can be.

Hopefully it won’t sound too shallow to add that having perfect weather (especially contrasted with last summer’s coolness and very cold water), warm water (I know that’s a relative statement), and daily sightings of eagles, bison, dolphins, and deer all added to the mix.

Each week God brought an eclectic but wonderful group of families to CBS, and we believed that each family was appointed to be at camp when they were.  Safe community happens at CBS by God’s grace, and each week we shared each other’s joys and struggles.  We prayed for each other, we celebrated significant moments together, we worshiped together, we bore one another’s burdens, and we spurred one another on to love and good deeds.   Each banquet night was full of sharing, affirming that God had done a powerful work among us during our days together.  We heard stories of hope renewed.  Of visions born.  Of commitments made.  Of truth understood.  Of souls refreshed.  Of energy renewed.  Of the goodness of God.

Each week as the boat pulled away from the dock and our staff team sang the time-worn but sincere song, “We love you campers, oh yes do!” even as exhaustion settled in after giving it our all for the previous 6 days, we weren’t too tired to be aware that we had just been part of something way bigger than ourselves . . . nor was it lost on us that whatever had just happened was something that we couldn't have accomplished on our own.  That might be the key to the summer.  This staff seemed to get to a deeper degree that this summer wasn’t about them but about Him.  That it wasn’t just about now, but about eternity.  They “got” that they’d best support and love each other in the community by submitting to the authority set over them, and they did so remarkably.  It was truly one of the most servant-hearted, unselfish, ego-less staffs we’ve ever had and we are honored to have been able to partner with them this summer.

The staff send off our last family camp with the tradition of singing “We love you campers, oh yes we do!” one more time.

We are pooped, but in the best sort of way.  Our hearts are so full of gratitude for these past seven weeks.  Paul told the staff at our final worship time yesterday that though he came into the summer dragging his heels and lacking creativity and vision for the summer,  he is actually leaving this summer refreshed.  That probably says it best.

Rather than setting, he sun rises over the end of our 2011 family camp season at CBS. (photo courtesy of Bill Crandall)

Family camps are underway!

We blinked and orientation week and family camp one were over.  And family camp two hit the halfway mark today.  It seems as though the pace of the summer will keep time with the months preceding it.

Before we got to the island, I spent a few days in San Diego with Julie and my parents.  The days passed quickly, but were fairly productive as we got their wedding invitations in the mail, celebrated Father’s Day early with my dad, and went to a bridal shower for Julie given by her professors and classmates from physical therapy school.  It was so sweet to hear them speak so supportively of Julie and her influence on them.  I felt very privileged to be there.

Dinner out in honor of Father's Day with my parents was lovely.

First thing Monday morning, June 13, we drove to Long Beach and took the ferry to Catalina with our summer staff.  We could tell even then that the Lord had brought together a great group of college students as we gathered at the terminal.  That first impression has been fulfilled during these few weeks.  We have a terrific staff.

We were thrilled to reconnect with Bob and Carol Kraning at the boat terminal.  They delivered two of our staff, Kory and Johnie (who also happen to be their grandsons), to catch the boat.

During Orientation Week, the staff creatively worked to develop the curriculum and decorate their classrooms.  We spent time every day building community as we built curriculum.  For the first time ever, we had 7 on the program staff who had never even been to CBS.  Very unusual, but understandable: three of the new staff have great siblings on year round staff, two of them came from Kari and Gabe’s ministry and had been mentored by them (and Kari and Gabe are batting a thousand on all the staff they’ve sent us the past four years), one grew up at our family camp in New Hampshire, and one has a sibling who was on staff  3 years ago.  So though they hadn’t stepped foot on the island prior to June 13, they were all exposed to CBS by reliable sources.  It did create a steep learning curve for them and reminded us of how foreign this well-known-to-us culture is to some. Thankfully, they’ve all adjusted beautifully and have brought a freshness to our team. We’re also thrilled to have Dennis and Susan Mansfield with us this summer as the “Dean and Deana of Little Gallaghers” (the little cove in which our summer staff are housed). Additionally Susan is serving as our children’s program director and crafts coordinator, and Dennis is filling in many gaps.  We’re loving having them here for many reasons, but especially for their maturity, depth, and love for the staff.  After being family campers for 28 years, they’re experiencing camp in an entirely different way.

Holland, Taylor, Claudia, Johnny, and Katie work on decorations for their classrooms.

Not all the team, but many, pose after lunch on their way to more preparations during orientation week.

Though we are truly thankful for each staff member God has brought here, we’re still pinching ourselves to believe that Gabe, Kari, and Brandon are part of that team.  As it became increasingly clear to them that God was moving them on from their positions at Bayside of South Sacramento, they talked to us about serving at CBS this summer. Really??? It quickly became clear that their gifts in working with college students could be used to lead the college studies for family campers as well as to develop training material for our summer staff, so we said YES!!!  Oh, and, we'll gladly help care for the little guy.

So here we are, in the midst of a historical legacy visiting the next generation.  Paul’s parents, Mel and Helen Friesen, started camp in 1951 and their only son, Paul, learned to walk in the Main Deck that first summer.  In 1981, Paul (who was in the midst of his tenure as the Camp Director 1975–1991), watched his eldest daughter Kari learn to walk in the Main Deck that summer.  Thirty years later, Kari’s eldest child, Brandon, is trying to learn to walk in the Main Deck (and feeling lots of pressure as a 10-month-old to uphold the tradition.  :)  )  Really?  We feel blessed beyond belief that we’re part of God's amazing faithfulness through the generations.

Gabe, Kari, and Brandon Garcia are a great addition to the staff team this summer.

Brandon loves his new and different bathtub, as well as living in community with more loving arms and smiles than ever.

Truly a huge part of the richness in serving at CBS comes from the relationships we've developed over the past 35 years.  Each family camp is full of people who mean so much to us. We've journeyed through decades of life together, through the highs and the lows, the thick and the thin, the family milestone moments of life, marriage, deaths, disappointments and triumphs.  Each week we reconnect with friends who return to camp with three generations in tow - some of whom were young parents in the late 70’s, now at camp with their grown up kids and grandkids.  We love the intergenerational framework of CBS family camps. And we love the newer families, who bring fresh perspective and experience to the table. Our passion for this ministry has not abated at all, but actually continues to grow each summer as we see the hand of God doing His good work among us. We are so blessed.

Dick and Nancy Beggs, who directed Camp Maranatha in Idyllwild for many years, have been dear friends since the beginning of our marriage.  It's always such a joy to have them pop into camp for an annual visit, to celebrate what God is doing in our lives and in our families, as well as to affirm our deep hearts for each other.

So, after a week or orientation and preparation, the boat loaded with over 200 family campers pulled up to our dock on Sunday, June 19.  With a mixture of emotions running the gamut from excitement to at least a few fears (how will the program go, etc.), the staff enthusiastically welcomed the campers and the 2011 family camp season at CBS was launched. The most touching moment of the week was experienced right off the bat, when Hayden Whelan, a precious 13-year-old who has Down’s Syndrome, arrived at camp after a year’s hiatus.  She was unable to come last year because she was undergoing treatment for a malignant tumor, and after a torturous year of chemo, radiation, hospitalizations, etc, she was recovered enough to return to camp and to her beloved “Paul.”  Hayden has had a thing for Paul since she was tiny, and she told her mom before arriving that she couldn't wait to see him.  She ran up the ramp and threw herself in his waiting arms, and there wasn’t a dry eye to be found.

Hayden is welcomed by Paul and the whole staff, who painted her a “Welcome Back, Hayden!” sign.

Six days later, Hayden gives Paul a farewell hug as she leaves camp.

That was the start of a great first week of camp.  Though we had the normal challenges of the first week, and some abnormal ones with so many new staff, it was a surprisingly smooth week programmatically.  Tim and Susie Theule were our resource couple and as we've come to expect, Tim’s teaching was challenging, instructive, and inspiring.  He’s truly one of the best teachers we’ve heard.  We’ve also grown to love their family over these six years that they've been on our family camp team, so having a week with them was a treat.

Our theme this summer is “The Fully Alive Family” using Psalm 23 and John 10:1–10 as our texts.  We’ve been so struck by the reminder that the sheep follow him because they know his voice and that they won’t follow the stranger because they don’t know his voice.  Our prayer is that we’ll become so attuned to the voice of the Good Shepherd that the stranger won’t pull us off course.

Tim and Susie Theule bring so much to camp, not just through Tim’s excellent teaching, but also through their healthy, beautiful family of six.

The week progressed through all the  beloved traditions - the game “Gender Defender” (some say it's the best ever!); all family worship and s’mores at the beach around the campfire; the hike to Avalon; the dance night and ice cream social; the boat race; the banquet; banner making; and tons of inter-generational interaction around dining tables, in the fairway, and on the beach.  What makes this place and experience so unique is the intergenerational community that is naturally woven into all waking hours.  So much health “happens” when the generations are laughing, playing, and learning together.

The week flew by and before we knew it, we were singing the traditional “We love you campers...oh yes we do!” as the boat pulled away from the dock in the early afternoon of June 25.  It was  especially poignant for us, as we were saying good-bye to many relatives who had continued their tradition of attending family camp.  Paul’s oldest sister, Sandra, and her husband, Wayne, once again brought their four married children and all their grandchildren to camp so we had feasted on the delight of being with family we love so much.  That meant many late nights of laughing and talking with one another, which was not great for our sleep needs, but an opportunity we couldn’t pass up.  Danny and Rayna Oertli are part of that clan, so we were treated to a concert by Danny one night during which he debuted a number of songs just released on his newest album, Just Beyond the Door.  We love this album and would highly recommend it.

The Friesen relatives who attended family camp 1.  Great time with all!!

No real reason for this photo, except that it’s an adorable one of this possible future lifeguard.  :)

Family is the theme...and we’re so blessed to have all of our gang with us at the moment. Lisa safely returned from Israel after her 2-week missions trip with FCA and came back bubbling over with enthusiasm for her experience there.  She’s working at camp for three weeks, joining the high school team. Julie is managing to make it up for the weekends and we’re loving that. The countdown to the return of her fiance Derek to the states has begun in earnest.  It's now less than a month.  :)  And we're loving having the Garcias here 24/7.  Besides the joy of having them with us, they’re doing a fabulous job with our staff and with the college-age family campers.

The girls and Gabe, left to right: Kari, Julie, Lisa

We’re also having an amazing summer of wildlife sightings as well as gorgeous weather. Buffalo have been hanging out in camp regularly and the bald eagles and pods of dolphins have been seen multiple times.  We’re delighting in all of it.

A buffalo finds dinner next to our volleyball court.

Brandon helps “Papa” with announcements at many meals.

Our program staff are ready for a new day.

Do pray for us as we run 4.5 more weeks of camp.  God is doing amazing things among us already and we are humbled to be a part of it.  All praise is His!!!

Wrapping it up in New England ’til September

Forty-eight hours ago we landed on the sacred shores of Campus by the Sea to begin our 36th summer of ministry together in this very special place.  Thankfully, some things never change here.  Like the sound of the ebb and flow of the tide rolling over the rocky beach, or the chirping of birds whose sounds, which are mostly lost in the noisy world we live in, pierce the silence in this place of quiet, or the sounds of worship that make their way from the Main Deck and echo off the ridges which form the protective boundaries of this safe place.  Or the lack of cars, cell phones, traffic, stuff, etc.  In a world in which text messages invade focus and concentration, and headlines and news flashes constantly disturb our peace, we are breathing deeply and allowing this quiet retreat to wash over us restoratively.

We left anything but quiet.  As is always true, it's a race to the finish to be ready for a summer of family camps.  This year was no exception.

After the camping trip at Myles Standish over Memorial Day weekend, we celebrated Julie's upcoming nuptials with a wonderfully meaningful shower.  The "chosen family" friends who came brought gifts wrapped in receiving blankets for her to take to the CURE hospital in Mbale, Uganda, for which her fiance serves as the executive director.  Julie was as excited about the prospect of bringing the blankets to the mamas at the hospital as she was about her own shower gifts.  It was a wonderful night of celebrating all that is good.

The shower gifts came wrapped in receiving blankets for the CURE hospital in Mbale, Uganda.

Julie flew back to San Diego on Tuesday, but Paul, Lisa, and I continued on to Fenway Park to see the Boys of Summer who wear Red Sox uniforms drop one to the White Sox.  We had a blast nonetheless as we enjoyed perfect baseball weather, on street parking, and a refund for our tickets, bought through Stub Hub, because we had received tickets that were 10 rows behind the ones we had purchased.  Sweet.

We got there in time for a close up view of our players as they warmed up.  Very fun.

Early the next morning we drove to W. Cornwall, CT, to speak at the fifth annual pastors and staff conference for Avon Community Baptist Church.  Jay and Liz Abramson lead this church, ably assisted by Tim and Sharon Ponzani.  What a refreshing group!  Their staff has had no turn-over in the five years we've been doing this, which is quite remarkable in itself and reflects the level of health in this church.  We love partnering with them.  The conference is rather low-key in terms of teaching, very interactive, and is scheduled to have plenty of "hang" time.  Walks, croquet, table games, and a little Brian Regan (a great comedian) via DVD filled in the spaces.  This is one of the rare conferences we do that feels as beneficial to us spiritually and emotionally as it is for the group.  A bit of calm in the midst of craziness.

Ever the competitor, Paul came close to winning two different rounds of croquet, but had to be satisfied with two second place finishes.

The team, with Paul standing next to the champion on his left, Tim Ponzani.  Fun was had by all.

Some of the staff had already departed, but this is the remnant of those who attended the pastors’ conference.

We returned home Friday afternoon in time to prepare for the H.I.M. pool party on Saturday, June 4th.  A more beautiful day would be hard to find, and a very happy group of around 80 invaded the Macraes' "retreat-like" property and had a blast.  Jim and Sue Martis did a great cook-out for everyone and the pool, trampoline, soccer field, and legos were enjoyed.  This 8th annual event was a big hit and a great way to launch summertime.

David Swaim explains to Kimary, Lisa, and Barbara why their family showed up at the pool party with a 4-day-old foster baby.

Hard to improve on this venue!

Matthew captures the attention of Lydia and Abby with a good idea (hopefully)!

So much fun was had by all ages in the pool.

Lisa, Paul, and I drove up to Woodstock, VT, that evening so we'd be in the right place to run the Covered Bridges Half Marathon early the next morning. We ran this last year in the pouring rain, and survived, but we were elated that God graced us this year with perfect weather.  We really couldn't have improved on the day:  gorgeous vistas throughout all 13.1 miles, unbelievably lovely weather, and great company. We felt very blessed. Top it off with having a photographer and a driver in Paul, and we could find nothing to complain about.

Except maybe the challenge of running 13.1 miles.  That's a long way!  Before the race, I picture myself as a fleet-footed runner.  That fantasy is quickly dispelled and I return to my reality of being a sure-footed plodder.  At various moments during the race, I question my sanity for choosing to do such a thing and I struggle to believe that I can do it.  I keep plodding.  Lisa cheers me on.  I sing silently "I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me . . ."  I keep plodding.  I check my running watch to make sure I'm making progress.  I win another mental battle as I get a second wind, which I mistakenly believe will carry me painlessly through the rest of the race.  I'm wrong.  I fight to finish.  I cross the line 4 minutes slower than I did a year ago, but very, very thankful to have done it.

And then I begin to think "That wasn't so bad.  I can do this!  When is the next race for this fleet-footed runner?"  :)

All smiles after we've run 13.1 miles together . . .

. . . and even bigger smiles when we hit Dunkin' Donuts after we're cleaned up and on the way home.

I've now logged 4 half-marathons since November of 2009.  It's funny now to think of how I reacted to Lisa's suggestion in Nov. 2008, as I watched her run a half-marathon in Kitty Hawk, NC, that we run together the next year.  “Impossible!” I told her then. I guess it wasn't.

Two days later we put Lisa on a plane to Tel Aviv for her two-weeks-long missions trip with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  Reports from her, though scarce due to infrequent Internet opportunities, are glowing.  She's loving being able to serve as the athletic trainer for the athletes running evangelistic sports camps in Israel.  We'll love hearing all about it when she arrives at CBS next Friday.

Lisa's off to Israel as a short-term missionary.

We spent the next two days wrapping it up in New England until we return in September. Counseling filled most of the time, but we managed to get packed up and cleaned up before we flew to California for yet another summer of family camps.

How blessed we are!

From Texas to Tenting

It’s crazy that today is June 9 and that I’m flying to California as I write.  In 4 days, our 36th summer at Campus by the Sea will begin with staff orientation, and between now and then, I’ll calligraphy the addresses on Derek and Julie’s wedding invitations.  And try to catch up with myself.  It’s been a wild ride since returning from our 10-day California trip the first two weeks of May.  I know . . . what’s new?  Fair enough.

We repeated the cycle of returning home early Tuesday am on May 16, and were thrilled to have a 24-hour visit with my sweet sister Laura and her husband David.  We always love to have time with them, so this somewhat serendipitous encounter was full of delight.  Best of all, we got to celebrate her birthday a few days early.  Very fun!

My sister Laura is well-celebrated by her husband, David, and Paul at the Friesen B and B.

Counseling consumed Wednesday and we sorted ourselves out a bit on Thursday before flying out Friday for Dallas-Ft. Worth to speak at the Hallmark Baptist Church for the second year in a row. Sean and Janelle Willeford once again organized the conference and we happily reconnected with many couples we had met last year and met many new couples. The conference went well Friday night and Saturday, and then on Sunday, Paul and I taught a very large Sunday School class and also spoke at their worship service. We’ve really grown to love Pastor Mike and Diane Haley, and we so appreciate their hearts for marriage and missions. They are faithful servants of Christ and God is using them.

We also love to spend time with the Willefords any chance we can.  When we met them years ago, Sean was a Division 1 college ATC (certified athletic trainer) who had graduated from University of the Pacific a number of years before Lisa.  He has been helpful in mentoring her in the field for years now.  God is now moving Sean and his family from the playing field to the mission field.  They’re preparing to be career missionaries in the Philippines and it’s refreshing to hear their enthusiastic vision for serving the kingdom in this new way.  Great days!

We also managed to squeeze in a lovely visit with some of my cousins, as well as with one of Paul’s nieces, before returning to Boston.  Delays out of Dallas allowed us to continue the pattern of arriving early Tuesday morning: like 1:30 am.  It felt good to crawl in to bed by 3 am.

We really bonded with these couples at Hallmark Baptist Church in Ft. Worth.

The Willefords—Sean, Janelle, Aaron, and Ashton—will relocate to the Philippines in the next couple of years.

Pastor Mike and Diane Haley are wonderful shepherds to the flock at Hallmark Baptist.

Less than 24 hours after returning home, we were more than happy to return to the airport to pick up daughter Lisa, who spent the two weeks between her job ending and leaving on a missions trip to Israel with us!  What a gift!  Long time dear friend Liz Aleman also joined us that night and we spent the next almost 3 days doing a lot of talking, laughing, touring, and playing “Nickel.”   Paul and I did spend Wednesday counseling, but on Thursday we “kidnapped” Barbara Steele and spent several hours wandering through the Arnold Arboretum, enjoying the end of the 2011 lilac extravaganza.  It was a perfect day in every way!

Barbara, Liz, and Lisa at the Arnold Arboretum.

Is there anything more fragrant and beautiful than lilacs?

More laughter, talking, and “Nickel” on Thursday night before taking Liz to the airport Friday am.  Such a great visit!  Liz has grown up beautifully and is making a difference for Jesus at law school in San Francisco.

Not to allow any moss to grow under our feet, we were on the road just after noon Friday to Myles Standish State Park for our annual H.I.M. tenting family camping weekend.  The sell-out crowd (30 families - 130 campers) was well organized by Jim and Sue Martis, who do everything for this weekend except the minimal program, which Paul does.  It was a gift for us to have 2 of our 3 daughters with us for the weekend.  It’s been a long time since any of the girls were with us on Memorial Day.  Paul took full advantage of them and had Lisa speak one night, via interview, on decisions she had made at college that kept her pursuing her faith, and had Julie speak another night about her call to Africa.  Widening the circle beyond family, he also interviewed Jeff and Judy Heath and their daughters, Katie and Stephanie, who are career missionaries in Chad, Africa, with Wycliffe Bible Translators.  In a few weeks, they’ll wrap up a year-long furlough and return to Chad.  Their interview was very informative and we all gained a clearer understanding of their life in Africa.

The weekend was a huge success.  Great meals, lively community interaction, sweet times of family worship and devotions, and s’mores added the exclamation point at the end of each nightly campfire.  There were two other milestone moments in the weekend celebrated in the midst of community.  Glen and Barbara Franks honored the 13th birthday of their twin daughters, Alli and Vicki, with a rite-of-passage presentation of their family crest, framed, and presented by their brothers.  Several close family friends gave “charges” to the girls to add ballast to the importance of this milestone.  Moments like these are so deeply meaningful to Paul and me as we witness the sincerity and commitment of families as such to be intentional in establishing legacy.  This was a definite highlight of the weekend.

The other really big highlight was the baptism of the Gaudet family.  In my March 17th blog, I mentioned that the body of Christ had expanded by at least one as a result of the March 3-5 marriage conference.  That surrendered life belongs to Ken Gaudet, whose wife, Amy, and sons had been praying for him to come to Christ for years.  The family decided that they wanted to be baptized together during the tenting trip.  Wow!  I wish everyone could have heard them testify to the work of God in each of their lives.  This, too, made the weekend unforgettable.

Lisa talks about why she’s committed to following the Lord.

Another night, the campers heard from Jeff and Judy Heath and their daughters Stephanie and Katie, about their life as missionaries in Chad.

A bunch of happy campers enjoying Jiffy Pop around their campfire.

Allie and Vicki Franks show their framed family crest, given them by their parents in honor of their 13th birthday.

The Gaudet family chooses to be baptized in the midst of the H.I.M. tenting community and speak powerfully of the work of God in their lives.

 Monday morning, the third annual Memorial Day parade was held on our camp circle, and serving as Grand Marshall once again was Glen Franks, who served our country a number of years ago.  Old and young, on bikes or walking, most joined the festivities in some way.  Music this year was provided by Bailey Berglund, who brought his slide trombone for the occasion.  It was good to pause and honor those who have sacrificed greatly to protect our freedom to do exactly what we had been doing all weekend: freedom to gather, to worship, to support each other.

Glen Franks starts the parade . . .

. . . and our sweet almost-17-year-old dog, Baker, brings up the end, flanked by her new best friends, Jonathan and Benjamin Yoder.

Oh—there was one more highlight: Lisa, Debbie Crane, and I ran in the Hyannis Road Race early Sunday morning.  :)  Lisa ran the half-marathon for “time” (and would run another half the next weekend in Vermont as my running partner for “longer time”) and Debbie and I ran the 7.2 mile run.  It was a blast!  We were done running and back to camp before some people were even up.  :)

Before the race . . .

. . . and after.  Still smiling!

And so, another Memorial Day camping trip is in the history books.  The only real disappointment of the weekend was that Thora Eames was out of town, so we were unable to have her as the guest of honor at the campground.  Other than that, we were blessed with spectacular weather and many wonderful memory-making moments.