Feldhahns Come to Town

“Putting the Happily Back in to Ever After” was the theme of our (now) annual one-day marriage seminar, hosted by Home Improvement Ministries to serve the greater Boston area.

And many of the over 200 people left the day feeling at least a little closer to that desire.

Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, internationally known for their research data and their publications on the differences between men and women, were well received by the conference attendees.  Jeff and Shaunti spoke at three different sessions, giving important and possibly situation-changing information on how to bridge the gap between the genders.  Paul and I had invited them to speak after spending a day with Shaunti at the Iron Sharpens Iron Women’s Conference held in Connecticut last fall.  Over dinner, Shaunti, Paul, and I talked endlessly together about the passion we share for encouraging marriages.  We were so impressed with Shaunti's genuine, down-to-earth self, that we extended the invitation.  Since she and Jeff met in Boston, coupled with having never spoken in Boston, they were willing to negotiate with us to make it possible.

Though we had really hoped to pack out Calvary Christian Church (our new favorite place for doing conferences because of their great facility and their even greater staff), just over 200 people made it to the conference.  We pushed beyond the disappointment of being undersubscribed and watched God work in amazing ways throughout the day.

Most who attended were local, but we did have a couple in from Johannesburg, South Africa.  Tando and Zama Msoki had been impacted by Shaunti’s books and were able to put together a trip which included running the New York marathon the weekend before.  They were a delight!

Besides hearing the Feldhahns speak during three sessions, we offered multiple workshops during two sessions.  Great feedback was received on the evaluations regarding the variety and quality of the workshops.  We are so thankful for the quality team of workshop leaders we had:  Ryan and Kelly Plosker, Danny and Rayna Oertli, Tim and Sharon Ponzani, Seth and Melanie Bilazarian, Doug and Julie Macrae, and Eric and Joylynn Mello.  All were appreciated!

Worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, which is always a good thing.  That evening, they did a concert at Calvary Christian Church.  Fans, young and old, were blessed by their unusual talent and the sincerity of their hearts for the Lord.

Jim Martis of MJM Catering provided lunch, which was delicious and served efficiently.

All in all, the day was a great success and encouragement.  One first timer, who also is a seeker, wrote, “We loved it.  We felt very loved and we felt God’s presence.  We’ll be back!”

In addition to all day Saturday, we had a “stand-alone” evening on Friday for those who couldn’t attend Saturday.  Held at the Peabody Marriott, about 75 came out for the evening and the Feldhahns gave us a sampling of Saturday’s seminar.

Tando and Zama Msoki from Johannesburg, South Africa, stand with Jeff and Shauti Felshahn at day’s end.

The workshop leaders introduce their topics.

Julie Friesen, Derek Johnson, Jeff and Shaunti, and Paul and I send the Feldhahns off.

The operations team worked tirelessly all day to make sure everyone was well taken care of.

Danny sings a number of new songs off his next CD, which he plans to record this spring.

The weeks ahead will be full of counseling, Patriot studies, and speaking.  In between, we’ll enjoy the preparation for Christmas and look forward to being with our children and grandson at different points along the way.

Happy Thanksgiving for now.  It’s good to be reminded that thankful hearts stave off entitlement and discontent.  Thanksgiving is really a year-round holiday!  We’re thankful for so much...including you.

Legacy

This past month has provided us with opportunities to be with a number of very special people, including: one of the only people still living who knew and loved Paul’s parents well; a couple who came to us as seekers back in 1999 and who now lead marriage and family ministry in Georgia; a missionary family we did life with from 1992–1994 while we were at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary; a college student we’ve known since she was very young; a family whose mom was a student of ours at GCTS in 1995; and the leadership team of CURE International — a ministry we’ve only been connected to for two years.  Over and again, we’ve been humbled by God’s faithfulness to these whose lives we’ve had a small part in through the years, and we’ve been encouraged to not grow weary in the battle for godly homes.

Backing up to late October, we weren’t home long before we flew to Rome, Georgia, on Oct. 22 for a week of ministry orchestrated by Nate and Jeannie King.  We still haven’t gotten over this precious family leaving New England to return to Jeannie’s roots in Georgia.  Our relationship with them is over a decade old now, and began when they came for premarital counseling back in 1999.  We’ve been so blessed as we’ve watched God draw them more and more deeply into His heart through the years.  We’ve had the privilege of marrying them, of dedicating each of their four children, and of partnering with them in Engagement Matters.  We were blown away when we joined them in Rome for a week and got glimpses into the many and varied ways they are serving the Lord in their community.

To kick things off, we did a day-long parenting conference for their home church, Pleasant Valley South Baptist Church, on Saturday, Oct. 23, and though the turn-out wasn’t “great,” those who came seemed to really appreciate it.  That night, we spoke for a “date night” sponsored by Battlefields Ministry lead by Nathan and Jane Phillips.  The team did a beautiful job of creating a welcoming and romantic setting and we thoroughly enjoyed the evening.  Paul preached at PVSBC the next day, and together we taught all the adult Sunday School classes on marriage.  We really appreciate that church and their ministry in the community.

Date Night sponsored by Battlefield Ministries was yummy.  :)  Nate and Jeannie helped shape this successful evening.

The Kings wisely scheduled nothing else Sunday afternoon so we could have a date with the Patriots.  :)  Watching the game with fellow diehard Pats fans was a treat; there probably aren’t many of them within such close range of the Falcons.

Monday we met with the founders of Battlefield Ministries, Nathan and Jane Philips, and shared hearts which beat so similarly for families and marriages.  That was followed by a lunch meeting with the planning team for the marriage conference we’ll do for First Presbyterian Church of Rome in late January.  Tommy and Priscilla Overton lead that ministry and we had a wonderful time with them.  We’re really looking forward to partnering with them in late January.  That evening we did a parenting seminar for Unity Christian School and met some really wonderful people.

That night, Jeannie arranged for us to stay overnight at Winshape Christian Conference Center. The center, operated on the campus of Berry College by Chick-Fil-A, is as plush and resort-like as Campus by the Sea is rustic and resort-like in a totally different way.  :)  We had a sweet getaway night, enjoyed delicious meals, bicycled around the vast campus all the way up to the “House of Dreams,” and fully relaxed for most of the day.  That night, we met with the Battlefield Ministries team to do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator with them in the context of team building which was both fun and insight producing.  We love doing stuff like that!

Wednesday a.m., Oct. 27, I spoke to a Mom’s group on parenting and that was delightful.  That night we taught on marriage at First Presbyterian to seed the water for the retreat in January.

Whew!!!  In between the engagements, we hung out with Nate and Jeannie and their precious children. It was a full, rich week of ministry, and we are looking forward to returning to Rome twice in early 2011.  

A highlight for Mister Paul was making chocolate chip cookies with Emi and Cammie, who proved to be able assistants.

We were home very briefly (less than 24 hours — during which time we did the Patriots' couples study) before we were off again, this time by car (and truck.)  Julie had flown in to Boston from California to pay the dentist a visit before starting her first physical therapy internship in Fairfax, Virginia, on Nov. 1.  She’s using one of our cars during her internship, so we drove the ole Camry down while Paul drove a borrowed truck so we could transport some of my parents’ memorabilia back to Boston.  En route to our conference in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania, we had the privilege of stopping in Lemoyne, PA, to visit CURE International headquarters.  CURE operates eleven pediatric hospitals in strategic places in developing countries (www.cureinternational.org), and Julie volunteered at their Mbale, Uganda, -based hospital in 2009.  We had a wonderful time meeting Dr. Scott and Sally Harrison, the founders and directors of CURE, along with several others on their team.  We’re very impressed with CURE’s vision and with how God is using them to bring hope and healing around the world.

Mark Bush, Sally and Scott Harrison, Julie, and Dale Branter

Our next stop will go down as one of the highlights of 2010.  We reconnected with Barbara Boyd, long time IVCF staff member and developer of InterVarsity’s “Bible and Life” discipleship weekend program.  Barbara was a colleague of Paul’s parents as well as a close personal friend.  She lived with the Friesens for a number of years when Paul was a little guy, so having dinner with her and hearing her memories of Paul’s parents and their family was very, very special.  At 87, Barbara is sharp as a tack and still completely singly focused on walking faithfully with God.  We left thoroughly inspired and so grateful for the gift of a few moments with her.

Paul and Barbara Boyd shared many memories that night.

On we continued to the home of Liz and Steve Lane for our weekend conference at Elizabethtown Brethren in Christ Church.  The Lanes are dear friends from our days at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (1991-1994) and they invited us to do an all-day marriage conference for their church.  What a joy to be with this dedicated congregation, whose faith background we share through Paul’s Mennonite Brethren heritage.  A large crowd gave up their Saturday to strengthen their marriages and we felt very much at home with them.  That evening, we had the privilege of having dinner with Kathy Stuebing and her son David.  The Stuebings are also friends from our GCTS days, and after dedicating their lives to being career missionaries in Zambia (founding TCCA, a theological seminary committed to training nationals for ministry in Africa), they are now “semi-retired.”  These kindred friends have inspired us for 20 years, and we were so thankful to have an evening to catch up with them.  Unfortunately for us, Kathy’s husband, Rich, was teaching in Africa, so we missed him.

Sunday, Oct. 31, Paul preached at both services and we co-taught all the adult Sunday School classes.  A special delight was having Beth Hendricks and her boyfriend Matt show up for the service, as well as the Stuebings.  It was a reunion of sorts and made us feel very blessed.  It’s SO encouraging to see the faithfulness of God reflected in the lives of “kids” like Beth, whom we’ve known since her young elementary school years.  Now, as a junior in college, she is continuing her pursuit of Christ and is a bright light for Jesus in this very dark world.  And, she’s making very God-honoring relationship decisions.  :)  Way to go, Beth!!!

David and Kathy Stuebing and Beth Hendricks and Matt. We were the last to leave church that Sunday!

After church, we had a lovely lunch with the Lanes and two other couples.  A beautiful table, delicious homemade food, and wonderful fellowship all made it hard to leave!

Going further south, we drove to northern Virginia to connect with my sister Laura and her husband, David, as well as with Lisa and Julie.  The visit was short but sweet.  Julie will live with Laura and David for the duration of her internship which ends Dec. 17, at which time she’ll fly to Uganda for Christmas.  It’s a treat for her to be with them and their very sweet and bouncy dog Maggie.

Maggie isn’t too bouncy dressed up as a lobster for Halloween.  This is her statue pose, aka “I’m humiliated and will not move until you disrobe me!”  She’s adorable!

We headed home the next day with a truck full of treasures from my parents’ life, and our 8-9 hour journey took 12 hours due to a truck fire which closed the highway on which we were traveling for 2.5 hours.  Fortunately it was a gorgeous fall day.  Unfortunately I was reminded of how impatient I am, especially when “wasting” time. :(  Always so much room for growth!

November’s opening days were filled with counseling and Patriots’ events.  After study on Wednesday, I taught the women how to make jam.  I guess you could say we had a jam session.  :)  That time has become a highlight of each week for me.  I love these women and feel so privileged for the opportunity to grow with them.

Our Charleston conference had been scratched  several weeks earlier so we had an unprecedented “free” weekend which also coincided with my 56th birthday.  To celebrate, we chose to go to Long Island to meet up with JMU’s women’s soccer team to watch the athletic trainer.  :)  It was post-season play, and JMU upset Hofstra for the CAA title game, giving them a berth in the soccer sweet sixteen tournament the next weekend.  We loved meeting Lisa’s team and coaches and thoroughly enjoyed watching the game.  Since our girls played field hockey, basketball, and lacrosse, we’re true novices when it comes to soccer.  And I must admit that we’ve always felt it seemed like a LOT of work for very little reward (most soccer scores seem to be in the 1-0 range) and therefore boring.  We stand corrected!  The games were anything but boring and we were thrilled to be there.

We managed to take a family outing Saturday afternoon (Nov. 6th)  when Julie joined us.  Our walk along Fire Island was perfect and we were so thankful to have a few hours together.

A brisk walk along the beach of Fire Island was a perfect celebration of my birthday.  Julie and Lisa are flanked by Paul and me.

Back home for an actual stretch of time....for the first time this fall!  As we “settled in” (read: sorted mail, swept away cobwebs and dust bunnies, attacked stacks of neglected paperwork, etc.), we had time to reflect on the joys of the previous three weeks.  So many encounters with significant people in our lives, spanning the whole of Paul’s life (Barbara Boyd lived with Paul’s family when he was a baby), to the past couple of years . . . and we have been reminded that we are blessed beyond words.  And we’re so, so sure that He is in how we are spending our lives.  Knowing that helps us sleep very well at night.

What's there not to celebrate?

A picture’s worth a thousand words: Matthew expresses well the joy of a gorgeous fall day, perfect for apple picking.

Is there a better time in New England than Fall?  Daily, for weeks now, we’ve been served up a kaleidoscope of color in an ever-changing landscape and we have delighted in every moment of it.  Fall is such an energizing time of year — even as it ushers in the (sometimes) bleak winter months, which occupy about four times as much calendar space as does the autumn.  Still, the joys of this time of year re-charge our batteries and launch us into the coming season fully satiated and more deeply aware of the majesty of God as seen in creation.

In celebration of Matthew’s birthday, we managed to carry on the tradition of apple picking for the 20th Fall in a row.  The perfect day for one of our favorite fall activities included picnicking in the pumpkin patch, picking lots of apples, interacting with small farm animals, playing in the hay maze, and indulging in fresh apple crisp a la mode to wrap up in the festivities.  Definitely a quintessential New England autumn day.

Fun was had by all . . .

Our plans to fly to Arizona after our apple picking venture on Oct. 8 were changed when the church which had booked us to do a conference canceled just over a week before the event.  Ouch!  We were very disappointed, but they felt they had to postpone the conference due to low registrations.  But suddenly, we had a weekend “off” and since that doesn’t happen very often, we decided to  “make lemonade” and use the flexibility creatively.  We started the weekend with a date with our dear friends and ministry partners, Guy and Barbara Steele.  It had been way too long since we had been able to just relax with them so it became a gift to ourselves to have dinner together that Friday night.  We are SO thankful for them — we couldn’t do half of what we do without them — and that night reminded us that we love hanging out with them even when we're not partnering on a project for H.I.M.  Great time.

Saturday was a combination of more of our (my) favorite things:  yard-saling with a very dear friend, continuing the cleaning/sorting/purging process in our house, and having a good long visit with another very dear friend, Patty Benes, who was back in the hospital.  Though we hated to see her there, it was great to catch up with her.

Sunday, we went to church!!  We love to go to church and seldom “get” to go sit in the pews.  It was good to be “fed” and to connect with many dear friends.  As we entered church, we were followed by an elderly woman whose face I recognized, but was so out of context it took me a few moments to identify.  Suddenly overwhelmed, I realized I was face to face with Elisabeth Elliot Gren, one of my long time mentors (primarily through her writing, but through several personal encounters over the years as well).  There are few women for whom I have greater respect than Elisabeth Elliot, nor whose life has had a greater impact on mine.  I remember reading Through the Gates of Splendor and In the Shadow of the Almighty as a young bride 34 years ago and was convinced then I wanted Elisabeth’s life to help shape mine.  

Since I’ve followed her ministry all these years, I was aware that Alzheimer’s disease was slowly but surely overtaking her brain and decreasing her mobility, so I had given up hope of ever seeing her again this side of glory.  It was therefore a gift straight from heaven that we would be standing inches from one another, in the same church, at the same time, on the Sunday we were supposed to be in Arizona.

For me, it was a holy moment.  After the service ended, I met her granddaughter who is in college in the area and several other family members.  I then offered to sit with Elisabeth while they went down for coffee.  Amazingly, they agreed.  Though no intelligible words were exchanged between us, I knew I was sharing a sacred moment with a woman “after God's own heart.”  From her days at Wheaton College; through her long courtship with Jim Elliot; to her brief marriage to Jim which ended when he (and 4 others) were murdered by the Auca Indians in Ecuador (leaving her a widow with a less-than-2-year-old daughter); through her decision to remain with the Auca tribe to continue the work started by her late husband; through opportunities worldwide to influence this world for Christ by her extensive writing and speaking ministry; through the cancer death of her second husband; and until the past few years, still ministering faithfully with her husband Lars Gren — she has been faithful and her character has been consistent with one whose goal in life is Christlikeness.

She was so at peace sitting in that sanctuary.  She was safe and “at home.”  It was no surprise then when her family came back to take her home, she at first resisted.  I’ve seen the same kind of “hunkering down” in holy places by my dad, who also has Alzheimer’s.  My father is most alive when we’re playing hymns on the piano and he is belting out the words of those sacred songs he’s sung for over 80 years.  A failing memory cannot dislodge the deeply spiritual which has been forged by years in the crucible of living life for Christ.

I can’t put words around how deeply impacted I was by this God-arranged encounter with one of the true heroines of Christendom — but I left church with a deeper desire to be more surrendered to Him and to not miss the important due to the urgent.

Monday we got away for our own mini-marriage retreat in Newport, RI, and en route we had a lovely lunch visit with our precious friend, Thora Eames.  Amazing to have back to back days with two different women who have had such a positive spiritual impact on my life.  Dear Thora . . . almost 93! Our visit fell on the eve of her 70th wedding anniversary which she would mark alone having been widowed for 3 years now.  Still living by herself (in an in-law unit at her son's house), she tends her own garden, cleans her own house, cooks her own meals, and in between all that, checks emails on her desktop computer.  And praise is continually on her lips.  Though she no longer drives, desperately misses her beloved Eliot, lives an hour away from where she spent 50 years, and suffers a variety of aches and pains associated by “overuse,” Thora doesn’t complain.  “What do I have to complain about?” she proclaims . . . and she means it.

Though she insists that our visit was a huge blessing to her, we left knowing that the greater blessing was ours.  Really.  Her genuine heart for the Lord and the way she has lived her life is as uncommon as is her name.

Visiting Thora . . . a truly remarkable lady!

On to Newport, we continued to check out a hotel for possible future use by H.I.M. for a marriage or family conference.  We had a lovely evening, got a good night's sleep, and after meeting with the conference planner over breakfast Tuesday, we walked all 7 miles of the Cliff Walk (round trip). It was a gorgeous day and we drank it in.  We returned to Bedford late afternoon refreshed and ready for full days ahead.

The day was perfect for walking the Cliff Walk in Newport, RI.

Wednesdays and Thursdays are consistent this fall: on Wednesday mornings, I lead the Patriot Women’s Bible Study, and then join Paul for counseling from early afternoon until 9:30 pm.  Thursday, we counsel from 8 am through 2 pm, and then head down to Foxboro for the Patriot's Couples Bible Study from which we usually return around 10:30 pm.  Friday mornings, we head out for our weekend conference, returning late Tuesday — and begin again.

October 15, we flew to California to partner with Grace Baptist Church in Santa Clarita, CA, as keynote speakers for their Healthy Sexuality Conference.  What church do you know of that dedicates a whole weekend to dealing with the issue of sexuality from God’s perspective?  We are SO impressed with Grace Baptist's commitment to equipping their congregation with information and perspective on a subject long neglected by the church.  Neglect, in this case, has contributed greatly to many distortions and much evil connected with the potent and dynamic dimension of our sexuality.  We applaud this church's leadership for tackling this important but delicate subject.

There were many facets to the weekend.  Friday night, after being delayed significantly by traffic, we spent the evening with the pastoral staff team talking about marriage, ministry, and morality.  The dinner was beautifully hostessed by George and Janice, who graciously opened their homes and worked overtime to pamper this hard-working group of ministers and their spouses.  We fell in love with them.

Paul spoke for a men’s breakfast the next morning, challenging them to be “men of standing” with pure hearts and minds. That evening after church (at which we were interviewed about the Sunday afternoon conference), we spoke at two separate workshops on singleness and sexuality.  We had good interaction in both sessions which were attended by singles from 18 years old to much older singles.  No matter what their age, singles in our culture today who understand God's design for purity are in a very, very small minority.  We encouraged them to trust Creator God, confident that His plan is good and right.

Sunday, after attending both morning services, we spoke for 3 hours at the actual Healthy Sexuality Conference.  We often include a 45-60 minute session on marital sexuality during a weekend marriage conference, but we loved having 3 hours to develop with more depth God’s design, Satan’s destruction, and the Delights and Hope in biblical healthy sexuality.  We felt very met by God in the afternoon and pray that each who came were also met.  We did another workshop that evening, and then, rather spent, we drove to north San Diego with our daughter Julie who had joined us in Santa Clarita for the weekend.

The next day, we received this email from the Care Pastor who helped coordinate the conference:

Paul and Virginia,

We are thrilled with the work of Christ and His Spirit in and through you.

Our good and beautiful God poured out His love, grace and truth through you unto us as a healing oil. 

I want to express our gratitude, respect, love, and appreciation for you.  

The marriage you are making is a masterpiece. 

Your love for each other is inspiring and gently challenging to us. 

I pray you rest well, refill, and draw enjoyment from one another as you pause between our house of worship and your next place of serving.

(Luke 5:16)

Love and respect,

Dan

May His kingdom purposes be affected by the weekend!

At conference end, Paul and I share a moment with David and Cherylyn Hegg (lead pastor) and Doug and Julie Macrae (H.I.M. board members.)

On to San Diego to celebrate Julie’s “White Coat Ceremony” at Physical Therapy School Monday night.  We were SO thankful for the timing of this special event in her educational pursuit of a doctor of physical therapy degree!  After taking the Hippocratic Oath, she received her “White Coat” as a rite of passage to her first internship, which will begin November 1 in Fairfax, VA.  It was gratifying to be there, to meet her professors and some of her classmates, and to mark this important milestone in her degree program.  She'll be done with four of seven “trimesters” at the conclusion of this seven-week internship.

A high moment — and a reprieve of sorts from the rigors of studying: Julie receives her “White Coat.”

We also managed to sneak a quick visit in with my folks in San Diego while Julie was in class on Monday.  It was great to spend even a couple of hours with them.

The last part of our trip was a scheduled five-hour layover in Sacramento to check in on our grandson, Brandon, who is already seven weeks old.  In the five weeks since we've seen him, he has grown so much!!!  Every moment of the five hours was magical, though fleeting...

We are very grateful for even five hours.

Brandon’s Red Sox shirts have been replaced with Giants shirts, much to the delight of his dad, who has been a lifelong Giants fan.

It’s been so good to celebrate both ends of life these weeks.  Elisabeth Elliot Gren, Thora Eames, and my folks all reflect lives lived for His glory . . . and as their earthly lives wind down, their anticipation of the eternal celebration with Jesus comforts and strengthens them even as their bodies and minds break down.

At the other end of the spectrum, Brandon’s new life exudes hope, delight, purity, and the miracle of birth.  And God is over all — the beginning and the end.  He goes before us, and behind us, and holds all things together.  It can’t get any better than that.

Don't miss the leaves...or Jesus...this fall

Fall is unmatched in beauty as seen in New England.  We poked around Stowe, Vermont, en route home from Montreal, and were treated to beautiful views and breathtaking colors.

The past month has evaporated, but not without leaving behind many wonderful moments experienced in California, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Montreal.  No wonder we find ourselves needing some refueling!

My days with Gabe, Kari, and Brandon all too quickly came to a close as I flew home Sept. 14th.  I will forever cherish the memories of those wonderful first days of his life and the gift of sharing once-in-a-lifetime moments with Gabe and Kari.  I’ve thought a lot about the joy of those days.  It’s been a really long time since I’ve been so completely and myopically focused on just one thing: in this case, the birth of our first grandchild.  I can’t remember a time when “nothing else mattered” — nothing was more important than enjoying him and serving them.  I wasn’t too busy, too tired, or too divided to do whatever needed to be done, be it making a meal, doing laundry, or rocking the baby.

God has spoken to me through the beginning of this new season of our lives.  He has gently reminded me that my relationship with Him warrants this same kind of devotion and focus.  He wants this same kind of priority placed on growing my relationship with Him.  He wants me to choose Him above the distractions of email, Facebook, running, etc.  I’m being re-calibrated, and it’s good.

Brandon continues to dominate our thoughts and hearts.  Here he is at 9 days old.  It was  so hard to leave him on his 16th day of life.

Like mother, like son.  Those dimples…

So safe and secure in the loving arms of his parents . . .

Brandon has no cares in the world.

Finally, Auntie Lisa gets to hold Brandon, a few days shy of his three-week birthday.

Back in Boston Sept. 15th, I joined 9 Patriot’s wives at their request to lead the women’s Bible study this year.  Both honored and intimidated by the invitation, I’ve spent a lot of time praying about this unusual opportunity for months since being asked to do it.  We launched the Wednesday study on the 15th, using John Ortberg’s newest book

The Me I Want to Be

as a springboard for discussion.   I felt very met by God at that first study and am very hopeful that God will change all of us through our time together.

The next night we launched the Patriot couples’ Bible study and were delighted to have a good showing of mostly veteran players and wives.  We start with dinner, which provides fellowship time, and end with Bible study, which is very interactive and by God’s grace, disciple-making.  We can’t believe we’re in our eleventh season leading this study.  We are grateful each year for the privilege of serving in this way.

About 48 hours after landing in Boston, we were headed back to California.  On Saturday, September 17, Paul officiated at the wedding of lifelong friend, Calen Offield, and his bride Amber Clark.  Lisa, Calen, and his twin sister Kelsey grew up on Catalina Island together as best buds and have continued to remain close throughout the 27 years of their lives.  It was an honor to do this wedding for “chosen family” friends.  Calen and Amber have prepared well for their life together.  They attended Engagement Matters with us in January, and both are committed to having a long-lasting, God-honoring life together.  Paul did a great job on the wedding and many are still talking about how inspirational his message was as he spoke on God’s design for marriage.  We are so thankful!

Julie and Lisa flew in for Calen and Amber’s wedding, much to our delight!

Wedding festivities dominated Friday and Saturday and continued for us on Sunday and Monday as we enjoyed a variety of Island Company tours, including the new Eco-Zipline adventure.  What a blast that was!

Even at 60, he hasn’t lost his zip!

We also “shot” two rounds of 18 holes at the world famous Avalon miniature golf course.  We laughed and cheated our way through both rounds and decided we shouldn’t quit our day jobs to take up golf.

Before we set sail for the mainland, we spoke at a marriage event at the Avalon Community Church.  Organized by Paul’s sister, Carol, and her husband, Wayne, we were delighted to have a semi-full crowd in the sanctuary who seemed very interested in gaining some insights into God’s design for marriage.  What a great opportunity to impact a small community on an island that will always be very dear to our hearts.

Back to Boston late Tuesday night, Sept. 20th, in time to do the Pat’s wives study Wednesday, followed by hours of counseling.  Thursday started with counseling, and was followed by the couples’ study, with Big Jim Martis

catering

a great bbq dinner.   This is the 4th year Jim has cooked for the study and everyone always loves it when he comes.

Jim Martis stands with Matt Light, Steven Neal, and Don Hasselbeck as dinner is served.

Early Friday morning, we headed out again - this time by car!  We drove to Montreal, Canada, to speak at the second Evangelical Armenian Church Marriage Conference.  We spoke at the first such conference in September of 2008, held in Boston, and we were thrilled to have the opportunity to reconnect with this wonderful group of people again.  “Badveli” George Dabbos and his wife Priscille hosted the conference at their flourishing church, and couples from Toronto and Boston made their way to Montreal to take advantage of it.  It was such a blessing for us to be with them!  They were like sponges, eager to learn more about God’s design for marriage, and we were impressed at the end of every session that they asked great questions and didn’t really want to stop.  Our hearts grew deeper for them with each interaction.  We were also very impressed at their stamina: after a long day Saturday, topped off by a late night end to the banquet session, one of the older couples suggested that gelato would be a perfect nightcap.  We arrived at the adorable gelato shop after midnight!  I’m not sure what they were going on, but I can tell you that we were happily exhausted!

Paul preached on Sunday morning — in English, of course, through an automatic translation system.  We were quite impressed (to say the least) that most of the Armenians there speak four languages, and English, for most, is language #3 or 4.  Definitely puts mono-linguistic Americans to shame.  He was very well received, even when he said that it was more important that one marry a vital believer than that one marry an Armenian. :)  We felt so warmly received and were so well cared for.  Sunday night we had a lively evening with George and Priscille and Monday night with his associate, Raffi and Arpi and their adorable daughters.   We spent Monday touring downtown Montreal by foot before making the beautiful drive home on Tuesday.  It was a fruitful and delightful time.

We just received this email from the associate pastor of the Montreal church:

     The entire weekend was filled with a joyful godly presence as we dug out

       rich truths through your teachings.  All those who were present were

       enriched, even last minutes skeptical participants were so excited that they

       were rebuking those who did not make the effort to join us.

       Your deep and insightful teaching was beneficial for both our relationships

       and godly living. All our preparation and work behind organizing this event

       was outweighed by the blessings that followed.

       It was our joy to have you both with us and would ask that you consider

       calling on us on any occasion that brings you near our area. It would be our

       pleasure to be able to accommodate you and always look forward to your

       fellowship.

All praise to Him!

Some of the couples who drove up from Boston for the conference.

Out for delicious Lebanese food with “Badveli” George and Priscille Dabbos.

The drive from Montreal to Boston was beautiful, in spite of it being overcast and rainy at times.  Fall has come early to Stowe, Vermont, so we took full advantage of it and spent a while meandering through the town and even making it up to the Von Trapp Family Lodge, which is one of my favorite places in Stowe.  It placed a large exclamation point on a really good weekend.

A very cute fall display on a sidewalk in Stowe.

Home late afternoon Tuesday, and I was off to the Patriots’ Women’s Study first thing Wednesday morning.  :)  There’s a little pattern going here.  After another great morning with the ladies, I’m feeling more relaxed and comfortable with God having me with them.  Back up to Bedford for counseling all afternoon and evening....and then more of the same Thurs.  Couples’ Study that night with a smaller turn-out, but a very worthwhile evening.

We didn’t drive out or fly out Friday a.m. :)

We did speak, however, locally, at the Mom to Mom group at the Trinitarian Church in Wayland.  Our talk on in-law relationships spawned so many questions that they ditched small groups and stayed as a large group while we fielded the questions.  We loved it!  Great morning.

Saturday and Sunday were Engagement Matters, and though the group was small (six couples), we’ve grown to expect this turnout for our fall session.  We thoroughly enjoyed each of the couples, and love the deeper interaction which is afforded by small numbers.  The Macraes graciously hosted the weekend and the response from the couples was really positive.  We continue to

love

this weekend.

I also spoke Saturday night at Grace Community Church’s Women’s Fall Kick-Off Dinner!  What a delight it was!  Women really do know how to create ambience and put together a lovely event.  Allison Nash, director of Women’s Ministries, and her team did a beautiful job on the whole evening, from a 5-star dinner prepared by their in-house chef, Toby, to special music by the Ross Sisters — the evening would’ve been fine without me.  :)  But, they had me speak anyway, and I felt that God did give me a message.  Armed with many insights gained from my Brandon moments, I spoke on how easy it is to miss Jesus due to our distractions, disappointments, and deceptions.  It was grace that I received much positive feedback afterwards.  Apparently I’m not the only one who struggles to stay focused on my priorities.  :)

After EM ended Sunday afternoon, I made my way over to Guy and Barbara Steele’s home to honor their future daughter-in-law, Stephanie Chin, with a bridal shower.  I had been very impressed with Stephanie when she and Matthew  attended EM over a year ago, but I was even more impressed with her when she made the decision to commit part of her bridal shower to assembling boxes for Operation Christmas Child.  What a great reflection of her heart!  And what a great way to assimilate 35 women, ranging in age from college students to those who had graduated from college about 4 decades ago.  :)  Everyone worked together, wrapping and filling boxes, producing 29 completed packages which will brighten the Christmas season for needy children around the world.  What a great idea!

The shower was lovely in every way.  Stephanie and Matthew did receive many lovely gifts, and the guests were feted to a delicious spread of “tea party” food provided by

MJM Catering

.

Stephanie and her mother May help assemble the boxes for OCC.

And, if that wasn’t enough, we had a H.I.M. Church Reps dinner that evening.  :)  We really do have to pack it in when we’re in town!  About 35 enthusiastic friends of H.I.M. came to the Macrae home for a fabulous dinner (incentive enough for most to come!) and exposure to the H.I.M. events in the upcoming year.  There was a great spirit and a strong commitment to spread the word so many can take advantage of the strategic events we host.

And then, we collapsed.  Happily — but definitely — out of steam.

Some of those who attended the Church Reps Dinner at Macraes.

And so we’re off and running, grateful for opportunities to influence lives for Christ.  Our prayer for you, as well as for ourselves, is that we won’t miss Jesus in the craziness of our over-committed lives.

New Beginnings

Well, he’s here.  Brandon Michael Garcia was born on his Grandpa Paul’s 60th birthday, August 29, 2010, and that’s why it’s taken me awhile to update this blog.  :)  When the choice comes between holding the baby or doing computer work, there is simply no contest.  So in the quiet of this early morning, while he’s still sleeping, I’m thrilled to fill in the blanks of these past two weeks.

We flew to Sacramento on the 23rd of August and spent the next couple of days enjoying time with both Gabe and Kari and Derek and Julie.  We relaxed, ate some great meals, played games, and generally enjoyed some very “vacationesque” moments.  Though Derek and Julie were with us only 2.5 days, we enjoyed every moment we had and then sent them off to spend a couple of days with his family in Tulsa, OK.  Before Derek left, however, we supported him and Paul as they took on the challenge of assembling the changing table we had bought.  The mission was accomplished, and provided both entertainment (for those observing) and some sanctification for those assembling.  

Breakfast at Tower Restaurant was on the agenda for the first day we arrived and its delicious breakfasts did not disappoint.

Paul, Gabe, and Derek grill up a great summer dinner after a leisurely afternoon at Gabe’s parents’ pool.

Derek and Paul begin the process of assembling the changing table.  So many pieces, so many confusing directions, so much at risk.

30 minutes later...

90 minutes later… mission accomplished, much to the delighted of the non-hired assembly crew.

Before Derek and Julie left for Oklahoma, Ray and Carol Johnston and their crew surprised Paul with an early birthday celebration.  During a lovely breakfast gathering, each of the six Johnstons tributed Paul with their “Top 5 List of Things We Love About Paul Friesen” and it was extremely humbling and meaningful to him.   We continue to consider it such a privilege for our families to journey through life together; we’ve shared close to three decades now.

Ray and Carol Johnston, along with Mark, Scott, Christy and Leslie, honored Paul with lots of affirmation to mark his 60th birthday.

On Saturday, the 28th (his actual birthday is the 29th), John Nugent  (without Marilyn, who is finishing up the sale of their home in Pennsylvania) surprised Paul by showing up at Gabe and Kari’s house midday.  Introvert that he is, Paul wasn’t interested in a big gathering for his birthday, so we’ve tried to celebrate him in a way meaningful to him.  We had a great afternoon with “Nuge” before heading to downtown Sacramento and doing a walking tour of Old Sacramento and the capitol building, etc.  A fabulous dinner at “Mortons” followed, and Nuge had barely driven off to his apartment in Redwood City when Kari announced that it looked like labor was beginning.  That 1.5 hour walk around Old Town worked!!  :)  

We thoroughly enjoyed exploring Old Sacramento together.  Here we’re standing on the bridge over the Sacramento River.

A delicious steak dinner followed our explore.

So, at 10:30 at night on the 28th, Kari went into labor.  It took several hours to convince us it was real labor, but by 3 a.m. we were convinced, so off to the hospital we went.  I have to admit that though we really had hoped the baby would come on Paul’s 60th, we were mentally prepared for him to arrive after her August 31 due date.  Once at the hospital, it was confirmed that she was in fact in labor and they checked her in.  To make a long 22-hour labor “short,” everything went really well until 3 hours of pushing (at the end of 19 hours of laboring) couldn’t get the job done, so Brandon was born via c-section at 8:49 p.m.  At 8#15 oz and 21.5”, he was just too big for Kari’s body to deliver.  Thankfully, though she lost 2 liters of blood in the process, she is recovering really well and we’re all enjoying a really healthy, beautiful baby boy!

We were grateful that we could be at the hospital throughout labor (in the room with them) and delivery (in the waiting room).  God has been so gracious in the timing of Brandon’s birth and in allowing us to experience firsthand so many one-time-only moments.  During part of the wait, I wrote this note to a friend who had just left her oldest child at college and was experiencing both the pain and joy of such passages:

You’ve been in my thoughts especially this month as you’ve prepared to launch your daughter to a new world of independence and exposure.  I’m sure you had very mixed feelings when you left her at college today...joyful anticipation for her future, which is bright and full of promise, and sadness at the changing of seasons for you as a family and for her as a young woman.  I don’t think anything really prepares us for such transitions entirely.  As I write, I’m sitting in the hospital waiting room while Kari, my firstborn, labors to launch into the world the next generation and ushers our whole family into another new season.  Life is full of changing seasons.

I imagine you have some of the same feelings for your daughter now as I have for Kari.  Prior to now, I hadn’t really considered how much I would want her delivery to be pain-free...how much I would hurt to see her hurt, and struggle to see her struggle.  I find myself wanting to protect her from the pain...to have her experience the joys of childbirth without the pain of the birthing experience.  I’ve suddenly remembered all the risks and potential complications of childbirth, and of possible problems with the baby.  I don’t want her to have to endure any of that.

I can imagine you have similar thoughts for her as she enters this whole new world - so often hostile to the kind of values and beliefs you’ve helped her embrace.  I can imagine you having some fears or at least concerns about her roommate, her classes, her profs, her Christian fellowship, her decisions, her hopes, her dreams.  I can imagine that you feel as powerless at this point to change the course of any of that as I do.

And that’s exactly where the Lord wants us.  He is reminding me to release her and to trust Him.  He’s reminding me that He is sovereign over all - the good and the hard.  He’s reminding me that He IS enough...for her, and for me.

I am praying that you’ll hear His reminders to you too, dear friend.

With much love- 

Virginia

P.S.  As it turns out, after 22 hrs of labor..including 3 hrs. of pushing after being fully dilated...Brandon Michael was born via c-section at 8#15oz, 21.5” long.  Too big to get through Kari’s pelvic floor.  We saw him for the first time around midnight last night.  Everyone’s doing really well today, though she lost over 2 liters of blood post c-section.  The feared needed transfusion didn’t have to happen today - PTL - and mother and baby are doing really well.  

So...all my musings of wanting to protect her from pain remind me of how little control I have over so many things.  Thankfully, the Lord has been extremely gracious and so many things that could’ve been haven’t been so we’re all feeling very, very blessed.

Checked in...labor progressing...this is GREAT!!!  Even easy!

Julie flies in from OK around 2 p.m. and clearly hasn’t missed the birth!  Obviously, just waiting for her… At this point, Kari is almost fully dilated so delivery should be imminent.  :)

Really?  Still waiting?  Water broken at 9:30 a.m., fully dilated, fully effaced.  Let’s get this show on the road!

Around midnight—after c-section—the happy family welcomes Brandon Michael.  All smiles now.  :)

Paul agrees this is the best birthday gift ever.  :)

There really aren’t words to capture the joy of such moments, such miracles, such amazing love.

In the midst of everything, Paul’s birthday was celebrated.  :)  Thanks to technology, the girls “skyped” Lisa in from VA when they presented Paul with a beautiful book of tributes to him from family and friends, compiled in a treasured “iBook.”  The girls each tearfully read their tributes to their unbelievable dad, and I read mine to the guy who’s the best person in my life.  He was so deeply touched by the many expressions of affirmation to him from so many.  It was a birthday he’ll never forget for many reasons.  :)

The next few days, while Kari, Gabe, and Brandon hung out in the hospital, we tried to get things more ready at home.  On Wednesday, September 1, they ventured out into the world en route to settling in their little nest here in Sacramento.  Since then, we’ve had a blast helping them have confidence in their natural instincts and taking a bazillion photos (thank heavens for digital!) of his constantly changing face.  We’ve had the privilege of keeping everyone fed, keeping the laundry clean, baking cookies for the visitors, and regaling Gabe and Kari with tales of Kari when she was Brandon’s age.  

We’ve spent countless moments in awe of the miracle of creation and in giving thanks to Creator God for this little masterpiece named Brandon.  We’ve delighted in getting to know Gabe and Kari in a whole new way as we watch them enter this new season of their lives with so much joyful expectation and wonder.  We’ve thanked the Lord a billion times for arranging the timing of all of this as only He could, in part to bless us with being able to experience all of this.

We all feel beyond blessed.

Kari and Gabe take five-day-old Brandon out for his first stroller ride.

On day 9, they pose for more family photos.  :)

This photo pretty much captures the last 10 days of our lives...it’s all about him.  :)

A very prejudiced grandma thinks he’s the cutest thing ever.  :)

Thankfully, this scheduled break followed ten weeks out straight with virtually no “down” time, so we’re recuperating from our full and wonderful summer in this unique and privileged way.  Since no one knows when exactly a baby will come, we left our schedule open until our first studies with the New England Patriots which occur on September 15 and 16.  Paul actually returns to Boston today, because he’s finding Brandon a bit “too distracting” to the work he needs to get done.  I, on the other hand, don’t want anything to distract me from Brandon for another week, so I’m staying.  :)

We did take a quick 36-hour break to drive down to Temecula to join the celebration of Kraig and Eryn Kraning’s wedding on Labor Day.  Our long time friendship with Kraig’s grandparents and parents, as well as having Kraig on staff at CBS several years ago, all contributed to us not wanting to miss this special day, so we did it.  During those brief 36 hours, we drove 14 hours, visited my folks for 4 hours (they relocated to San Diego recently), and were at the wedding for 4.5 hours.  In between, we hung out with Julie and got a little sleep.  We had a wonderful time and pray that Kraig and Eryn will experience the matchless blessings of a marriage lived for Him.

Bob and Carol Kraning were the first ones we greeted at the wedding.

Kraig and Eryn are served communion by both sets of Kraig’s grandparents.

Outside of Brandon’s world, Julie is settling into her 4th of 7 trimesters at physical therapy school and Lisa is in full tilt as the athletic trainer for JMU’s women’s soccer team, which is off to a great start.  We’ll be with both girls on Catalina Island the weekend of Sept. 17th for another very important occasion, as our lifelong friend Calen Offield marries Amber Clark.

That brings you up to date on our lives.  We are bursting with joy and overflowing with gratitude.  And enjoying this “new beginning” exponentially more than we could’ve ever imagined.

We've crossed the finish line on the Summer of 2010

Paul and I are sitting at Manchester (NH) Airport, awaiting a delayed flight which will carry us Sacramento hopefully before August 23 is over, so I will happily seize these moments to reflect on the past two weeks of family camp.  As is true for most “finish line” crossings, we are very tired...but once again, happily so.  It’s been a great run overall and we will be processing a lot from these ten weeks for a long time to come.  It’s been a very full summer of experiencing God and of witnessing Him work in unmistakable ways.

A view of Camp Berea before the campers arrive . . . it’s not Campus by the Sea, but it’s so beautiful in a completely different way!

Assembling a full staff team was a bigger challenge than usual.  Many of our CBS staff began school early or had family plans, so we supplemented with some wonderful volunteers, a couple of whom said “yes” the morning before family camp began . . . and flew from California in time to drive to Camp Berea with the rest of the team!  In the end, the Lord provided so that every grade was well staffed and all needs were met.

Staff for the first week of family camp at Berea.

Megan Forbes and the worship team lead “The Butterfly Song” at the opening night, much to the delight of many veteran family campers.

Paul leads the children’s devotions and the two contestants practice self-control successfully, doubling their “take.”

Over forty families attended this sold out camp, many of whom have made family camp a tradition for many years.  This was our 14th family camp in New England and it delights us to see families as passionate about family camp here as they are at CBS. It’s like a huge family reunion!  Many of the families we’ve known since the parents attended Engagement Matters many years ago, and we’ve journeyed with them through their weddings, the births, and the dedications of their children.  What a gift!

David Swaim spoke to the first camp and he was terrific again this year.  Each day he spoke about different aspects of the Father’s Love and was used by God in some very powerful ways.  Since he spoke last summer, he and Michelle have doubled their family size by adopting three teen-agers from Uganda (originally from Congo, but orphaned and displaced to Uganda), and it was a joy to have all of them with us.

David Swaim not only preaches powerfully, he can dance up a storm.  Here he’s pictured with his daughter Angelina, who looks semi-petrified during most of David’s energetic swing moves . . .

. . . but was all smiles when all was said and done.

On “change-of-pace day” (known as “hike day” at CBS), we spent the day relaxing: jumping at Sculptured Rocks, swimming, and eating ice cream.  It was a great “catch up” day on sleep, which we were all feeling the lack of.  It was a fun and low-keyed day.

Sculptured Rocks is a gorgeous spot not far from Camp Berea - great for picnicking, jumping off a 10 ft. rock into very cold water below, and relaxing.  We had a blast!

We topped off the day with a Shackett’s Ice Cream stop and it’s hard to beat that.

Family Camp 1 culminated with a baby dedication and several baptisms, followed by the banquet that evening.  Each baptism was such a wonderful expression of God’s work in individual lives, celebrated in the context of Christian community.  The celebration continued that evening as person after person shared at the banquet how God was working in their lives and had met them during family camp.  The sharing was deep and meaningful and filled our hearts with joy and gratitude.

Nate and Jeannie King, along with Andrew, Emily, and Camryn, bring Brady to be dedicated at the lake.

Paul baptizes Susie Hirtle, who has grown up at family camp and is now off to a Christian college in Texas.

Joe Yardley also chose to be baptized at camp this summer.  Here he stands with his family: parents Dan and Susan and siblings James, Liz, Tim, and Abbie.

Sam Potter, another long-time family camper, was baptized as well.  His family and both sets of grandparents stand with him.

And just like that, family camp was over and we had 24 hours to regroup and prepare to make our last group of family campers feel like it was our first week of camp.  The weekend was relaxing and renewing in many ways.  Pizza Friday night was followed by a special showing of one of “clean” comedian Brian Regan’s very funny DVD’s, which was followed by watching a disappointing, extra innings loss for the Boston Red Sox.  We got over it by eating yummy homemade waffles the next morning. :)

The weekend was also highlighted by having Aimee, Chelsea, and Danny visit us from NYC.  Yes, it’s the same Aimee who met Christ at CBS during week 2, and the same Chelsea who was baptized at CBS during week 6.  Danny is a mutual friend of theirs who decided to follow Christ after seeing the dramatic transformation in Aimee when she returned from CBS.  Don’t you love the way God works??  They came to Berea to reconnect with the staff and many significant conversations were had during the course of their stay.  God is at work.

The staff were thrilled to have Aimee, Chelsea, and Danny join us for the weekend.  This photo is taken in near the cottage we rented to house some of our staff.  Here everyone takes a break from swimming and playing to mug for the camera “for the blog.”

Family Camp 2 arrived Saturday afternoon, August 14th, with even more campers than week 1.  Our biggest camp of the summer was the last!  Fortunately, we had several additional staff - Liann and Evan Wong, as well as Helen Challener and Taylor Tedford.  They were just what we needed to “fill the gaps” and we were so thankful for them.

Helen Challener joined our team for family camp 2.  She volunteered at CBS in 1978 and 1980 and proved that she hasn’t lost her touch.  She was a terrific aide for the 1st and 2nd grade class.  It was a joy to have her!

A wonderful team of “older than college students” rounded out our staff: Debbie Smith (a colleague of mine from college), Helen Challener, Susan Martis, and Liann Wong all added “years of experience” to the team and were so appreciated by both kids and parents.

Staff team for Family Camp 2

One of the traditions and highlights at Camp Berea is the all generations “finger blasters” feud.  The “harmless” nerf rockets are “fired” at the opposing team and mayhem breaks loose in the gym.  It is really fun and thoroughly enjoyed by all.  The grand finale of this family camp was having a shoot-off between Paul and me.  Much to the delight of the very competitive and vocal men, Paul “shot” me.  :)  I lost this year . . . but there’s always next.  :)

Paul is the victor in the “shoot-off” with me.  Here we’re posing with “refs” from our staff team:  Heather Thiel, Kyle Becker, David Hathaway, and Nathan Smith.

During the second family camp, we drove the staff up to the Mt. Washington Hotel so they could experience some of the unique beauty of New England and tour this fabulous hotel . . . and then on to Amonusuc Falls to do some big rock jumping.  Compared to Sculptured Rocks, the jumps are MUCH higher and the water MUCH colder - but fun was had by all.  We picnicked on the rocks, did a fair bit of jumping, and then drove back to Shacketts for more yummy ice cream.  It was a great day.

The staff enjoyed touring the Mt. Washington Hotel . . .

. . . but probably enjoyed the delights of jumping into this frigid water more.  :)

We were back at Camp Berea in time to conduct our last dance night.  We had a blast in their spacious gym doing the Chicken Dance, the Hokey Pokey, the Barn Dance, the Virginia Reel, Slappin’ Leather, the Cotton Eye Joe, the Rain Dance, and finally swing dancing.  Kelsey O’Keeffe and Andrew Price did a fantastic job all summer leading the dances and this was no exception.  I love this night for many reasons, but topping the list is seeing the integration of the generations on the dance floor.

Megan Forbes and Vincent Swaim work some swing moves while Alton Green teaches his sister Danielle how to slide in the background.

Jay Abramson spoke for this week of family camp and he did a wonderful job of tying his talks in with the prodigal son story. Jay’s teaching is authentic and passionate, and it engages both the head and the heart. Jay and Liz are always such a delight to partner with.  They make themselves so available as they invest greatly in campers outside of the speaking sessions.

Jay and Liz Abramson were appreciated by the campers during Family Camp 2.

Our final family camp culminated with powerful sharing at the banquet and a wonderful time of worship at the campfire.  We heard testimony of marriages on the mend, parent-child relationships improving, and many tales of personal sanctification.  No one could deny God’s hand in changed lives.

For the final time in the summer of 2010, we had our closing session featuring worship and wrap-up. One last “Butterfly Song,” “Days of Elijah” and the memory verse song . . . One last all-camp photo. One last giant farewell to a wonderful summer.

Kelsey O’Keeffe plays one last round of “gaga” with some of our smaller campers.

We were packed up and out of Berea in record time on Friday and the real end of the summer celebration began.  Pizza in the small town of Bristol sustained us until we were feted with an unbelievable surf and turf (lobster and steak) feast at Doug and Julie Macrae’s house.  We arrived mid-afternoon and enjoyed their pool and their huge backyard-turned football field before indulging ourselves beyond reason.  It rivaled the finest restaurants in Boston.  We all felt very pampered.

The Macraes’ backyard provided a great party site for our “end of the summer” celebration.

Full and happy . . . we take one more photo for the blog.  :)

But is doesn’t end there.  Saturday topped the charts - starting with a yummy brunch, a tour of Boston, a great meal at Fire and Ice, and then an extravaganza at Fenway Park.  The Macraes had arranged for all 22 of us to tour Fenway and then to watch the Red Sox beat the Blue Jays in extra innings.  :)  Really?  Does it get an better than that??

We’re on the field during our tour of Fenway Park.

During batting practice, Kevin Bron and Andrew Price snagged balls, while Heather Thiel, Monica Wong, and Hannah Early celebrate with them.

It was our first visit to Fenway this year and we enjoyed it at least as much as the kids did.

With very little sleep, we got most of the staff to the airport for early morning departures Sunday . . . and the summer officially ended.  Though we are really, really tired, we are much more thankful.  It has been a most unforgettable summer (for mostly good reasons!!!) and we are praying that the seed that fell on fertile soil will thrive in the year ahead.  We can hardly believe we’ve now crossed the summers-at-camp finish line 35 times, but we consider that a huge gift from the Lord.

And now, the countdown begins in earnest for the arrival of grandson #1.  His due date is a week away and we’re so thankful that he didn’t decide to make an early entrance.  We’ll be in Sacramento for the next little while with Gabe and Kari as they begin this new season in their lives.

Other family news: Julie has successfully finished her first year of physical therapy school and is enjoying a much needed break with her boyfriend, Derek, who is “home” from Uganda for several weeks.  We’ll see them in Sacramento this week.  Lisa is off and running with her new job.  She has been going non-stop since starting on August 1, and is loving it so far.

Thanks for standing with us and for praying for our lives and ministry.  “When you’re working out of your passion, it doesn’t seem like work” is an apt statement for us.  We know we’re blessed to be able to say that.

If a picture says a thousand words, then this one that Barbara Steele snapped last week at Camp Berea overlooking Newfound Lake expresses what’s in my heart that can’t be expressed in words.  Savor His faithfulness along with us.

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

And just like that, our summer at Campus by the Sea (CBS) is over.  After the coolest summer of our 35 years together at CBS, we wakened this morning with no doubt we were no longer there.  The over 90 degree temps and equal humidity today remind us that part of the reason we love “summering” at Campus by the Sea is the weather!!!

The last two weeks of family camp continued in the trajectory of the summer: beyond words wonderful.  We can’t remember a summer when there has been more evidence of God’s grace working out among us in so many ways.  Every banquet this summer evidenced this, as the “feast” we consumed was exceeded only be the “feast” we witnessed after person upon person shared of how they had been met by God during the week.

Family Camp 5 featured second year speaker David Tebay, senior pastor of Calvary Church of Placentia.  He challenged us with the message of Romans 12, and his sermons were practical and discomforting.  That’s good.  :)  It was a delight to have his son, Taylor, on our program staff all summer, and to have his wife, Carrie, daughters Tara and Amy, and son Austin join him for the week.  David’s father, John, was one of the officiating pastors at our wedding, and along with his wife Grace, has been a significant mentor in our lives for the past almost four decades.  It’s so good to see the generational legacy of God’s faithfulness in this family.

David and Carrie Tebay, with Austin, Tara, Amy, and Taylor.

The “staff only” annual hike to “Lone Tree” took place on the Wednesday of Family Camp 5.  Only 12 braved this challenging, 9-mile-round-trip hike, and we were all on the top within 1.5 hrs.  Though we were very thankful for the cloud cover hiking up, we all wished the sun would burn it off once we were on the top.  But alas, we remained sunless (in keeping with the theme of the summer!)  Oh well, makes for easier hiking!  We had a great time of fellowship and experienced wonderful camaraderie throughout.  Another Lone Tree summit accomplished!

Front row: Holland Stewart, David Hathaway, Heather Thiel, “Mama Virg”, Megan Forbes, Lisa Friesen, Leslie Johnston, Scott JohnstonBack row:  Jared Klay, Rachel Baughman, Whitnee Sherman, and Christy Johnston.  Mission accomplished: Lone Tree conquered!

As was true for every Family Camp, the week flew by and before we were ready for it, Saturday morning had arrived and we were celebrating God’s faithfulness during our closing session.  Tears, hugs, and another heartfelt chorus of “We love you campers, oh, yes, we do!” sent this wonderful group of campers off to San Pedro.
Late that Saturday afternoon, the program staff and part of the facilities staff headed into Avalon for the annual “staff appreciation” meal in town. “Mi Casita” was the site of our dinner and though the food wasn’t nearly as good as what we’ve enjoyed from the CBS kitchen this summer, it was a fun and relaxing change of venue.  The bonus of the night was the brilliant full moon - with no cloud cover - spawning our second full moon hike of the summer. Twenty-one intrepid staff hiked under the unbelievably beautiful moonlit night, which put a large exclamation point on a great evening.

Program staff appreciation dinner at Mi Casita in Avalon.

Presto change-o - into hiking clothes and off to Campus by the Sea under a moonlit night.

Family Camp 6 arrived on Sunday, July 25.  Gary and Anne Gaddini and their four daughters joined our resource team this week and as usual, Gary’s speaking did not disappoint.  He preached through the book of Jonah, and was compelling, challenging, relevant, and inspiring.  (A reminder that all of the family camp talks from CBS 2010 are available on MP3’s on the CBS website.)  Gary’s passion for Christ, his knowledge of the Word, and his strong communication skills combined to “knock it out of the park.”

Gary and Anne Gaddini with 3 of their 4 daughters join Lisa, Paul, and me for ice cream in Avalon on hike day.

Week 6 had so many special features.  One of them was having Garth and Rosemary Dougan in camp for the week.  Now at 87 and 85, they continue to inspire all of us.  We invited them to our staff meeting and spent a few moments honoring them for their years of faithful service at CBS, but mostly for their faithfulness to the Lord for decades.  Their lives are so hope-giving.  How we love them!

Paul presented Garth and Rosemary with honorary staff shirts at the banquet Friday night.  Don’t they look terrific?

The program staff share a staff meeting with Garth and Rosemary Dougan, CBS staff “grandparents” emeritus.

Another very special moment during week 6 was Chelsea Paskvan’s baptism.  Chels grew up coming to family camp and served on staff for several summers.  She just graduated from Kent State University with a degree in fashion design and is living in NYC working in the industry.  She wanted to be baptized in the place where God has met her consistently.  It was a beautiful service.  BTW, Chelsea has been a great friend to the young woman from NYC who became a Christian at camp during week 2.  She has taken her to Tim Keller’s church, Redeemer, and is walking with her during her first steps as a Christian.

Lisa prays for Chelsea at her baptism ceremony.

It’s hard to remember a summer when we’ve experienced more spiritual fruit than this one.  Or a summer when there’s been more unity among the staff team.  We were especially impressed with how well the program staff worked together; they were “all in” with serving and becoming more Christlike.  They were such a delight to partner with!

I’m still amazed at God’s faithfulness to us in bringing this team together.  Twenty of our twenty-four program staff grew up as family campers.  That means they really “get” it; they know how important staff members were in their lives through the years.  It’s an awesome thought to consider that all the years these kids were growing up as family campers, they were in training to serve as staff workers one day!

We also had an unusually high number of staff with theatrical or musical backgrounds, and in line with their gifts, we had more creative flair in the program.  The Children’s Program drama, written and directed by the staff,  was fabulous and conveyed the essence of the Prodigal Son story remarkably well.  John Thiel, our worship leader (as well as children’s program director) wrote a short reader’s theater for opening night and closing morning, and that was well received.  He also wrote a catchy memory verse song, which will be sung long after the summer of 2010 is history.

After we sent our last family campers sailing, we spent our last almost 24 hours in camp bringing closure to the summer.  The year round staff couples prepared a wonderful Mexican feast for our last dinner together and that was followed by “Saturday Night Live” - a sharing of talents which would bless our community.  Sunday morning, we had a wonderful two-hour worship/sharing service and we privileged to hear how God had met us individually through our seven weeks together.  It was a really sweet time.  And then it was boat time.

It’s impossible to put into words what it means to live in this kind of unplugged, undistracted, directed community for almost two months, but what is unspoken is mostly intangible.  God meets each of us in different ways, right where we are on the journey towards His heart.  He uses us, imperfect as we each are, to impact eternity, and none of us can really get our minds around that.  We can get our hearts around it, though, and even more now, after spending a summer delving deeper into “The Father’s Love,” and for that, we’ll be forever grateful.

On the Catalina Express, en route back to the mainland...our very wonderful staff team gathers for one last shot “for the blog.”  :)

And so the sun sets on another summer at CBS and we head off to New Hampshire to do two more weeks of family camp.  We are exceedingly tired . . . and exceedingly grateful.  “Great is Thy Faithfulness!”

Island Living

The 2010 CBS Summer Staff team, ready to welcome another group of family campers.

The 2010 Family Camp Program Team: front row (l-r) Olivia Parrish, Jackie Dressler, Shirlee McCoy, Megan Forbes 2nd row:  David Hathaway, Mitch Makinson, Holland Stewart, Leslie Johnston, Kady Broman, Erin Esten, Whitnee Sherman, Christy Johnston 3rd row:  Andrew Price, Adam Wood, Megan Mulles, Kaitlyn Clark, Kelsey O’Keeffe, Heather Thiel, Hannah Early, John Thiel 4th row:  Lisa Friesen, Jairus Wong, Scott Johnston, “Nature Nate” Smith, Taylor Tebay, Virginia “Mama V”  Friesen, Paul Friesen

It’s Sunday afternoon and in two short hours, we’ll welcome Family Camp 5 to Campus by the Sea.  Summer is evaporating!  We can hardly believe that in two weeks, we’ll be heading eastward to prepare for two weeks of Home Improvement Ministries Family Camps at Camp Berea in Hebron, New Hampshire.

For now, though, we’ll continue to drink in the beauty of this very “set apart” place and experience God’s faithfulness in very tangible ways.  Each Sunday morning as we wrap up our staff worship service, we reflect on what God has done among us in the preceding week and we’ve had much to celebrate.  During every camp, there have been new “births” as well as many “rebirths.”  One young 23-year-old woman who decided to follow Christ during Family Camp 2 wrote this after she returned to her home in New York City:

My goodness coming back to New York was soooo hard!  It still is hard and I am struggling every step of the way (although every moment seems slightly easier than the one before).  That first foot out of the airport and onto the grimy New York concrete was more than devastating to my soul but my heart and mind was filled with all the love, support, and knowledge I received from everyone.  Plus I returned with God.

I’ve secluded myself (in a good way) and spent my first nights at home reading and conversing with God.  We are going through what He said to me one night was my “disinfecting” process.  I like that idea.  The first couple days back, I kept saying to myself “when is this going to get easier” and then I realized that the beauty of God and living like Jesus is found in the struggle…I need to enjoy the struggle.  I also realized I should start talking to myself less and to him more.  :)  He gives much better advice!  I’ve really had to slow down which feels impossible in a place that refuses to let you. 

I’ve been reading and carrying my Bible everywhere with me (along with notes of support from CBS staff and a rock I took with me from the beach).  Just feeling the weight of it in my bag has been giving me that physical reminder that Christ is holding my hand and telling me to just walk slower and keep my eyes open.  I don’t recognize anything anymore…everything looks new.  People, stores, cars, food, trees…myself.  It’s such a mind boggling experience to be walking on the same streets I have been walking on everyday for 5 years and feel like I’ve never ONCE set foot in this place.  I’m uncomfortable…definitely…but my new skin feels so much better on me and it’s also the skin that God blessed me with and is allowing/helping me to clean.  I will learn to love it. 

I’ve reread her words many times since receiving this email, as they indicate such a genuine transformation towards Christlikeness.  Please pray for her and several others who have put their faith in Christ this summer.

This is why we do what we do!  We love being part of kingdom building at CBS and are truly overwhelmed with gratitude that we are in the midst of our 35th summer here.

Family Camp 2 was rich with Howard Clark’s teaching and a full complement of wonderful families.  We had many first generation, young Christian families in camp that week and it’s just so refreshing to witness their hunger and thirst for truth and practical, Biblical wisdom.  It was also a very special joy for us to have Grant and Emily Williams and their three precious daughters with us at family camp for the first time.  After years of invitations, they made it — all the way from St. Louis — and they’ve told us since that they’ve already recruited several families to return with them next year.  I’m not sure what is more exciting to us than introducing dear friends to Campus by the Sea — and having them love it, too.

Grant and Emily with Madeline, Sarah Elizabeth, and Meegan, on the pier at CBS.

All too quickly, we said farewell to this group of campers and welcomed Family Camp 3.  With 216 campers squeezed into camp, we had a “full house” and we had full energy to go with it. Ray Johnston, who lacks no enthusiasm or vitality, was his usual dynamic, motivating self and it was great to have him as our speaker.  It was extra joyful this year as three of his kids are on staff and they make him look really good.  :)

To camp this week came a long time family who had just “taken in” two 18-year-olds who needed a home.  One young man had been living with his grandmother, who had passed away two weeks earlier.  He agreed to come to camp with them, and after many conversations through the week and much wrestling with God, he made a decision to follow Christ on Saturday morning before heading back to the mainland.  Paul and Ray prayed for him in front of the whole community at our final session and then we sent him off with a new Bible and several books to help him on his journey.  It was a powerful expression of God’s grace among us being worked out in incredible ways.

The week ended with Paul and Ray baptizing all four Johnston young adults, which was another powerful expression of God’s redemptive grace.  We dedicated three of them on the veranda of the Lighthouse 18 years ago, so it was such a great picture of God’s faithfulness in their lives to celebrate their baptisms here.

Leslie, Carol, Ray, Scott, Mark, and Christy Johnston celebrated their baptism at the Rock Jetty during family camp and Lisa, Paul, and I shared their joy (along with the rest of the staff.)

During Family Camp 3, I made a quick one day trip to the mainland to attend the funeral of David Engel, the elder brother of Gene (and Teri) Engel, long time friends and family campers. “Uncle Dave” came to CBS every summer with the Engels and we grew to love him deeply.  Though he had some mental disadvantages, he taught us so much about what really matters in life as he loved life and lived with great contentment.  Gene and Teri Engel, and their kids Matthew and Krista (and David Hart) — with whom Uncle Dave lived — also taught us so much about living sacrificially and pouring yourself out in service for others. The service, lead by Gary Gaddini, was a great celebration of a life well lived and of our hope in the eternal truth of the gospel. Though it’s always hard to leave during family camp, it was a day well spent.

And then came Family Camp 4, and along with it a full contingent of extended family as well as immediate family.  We were thrilled to have Gabe and Kari and yet unborn grandson spend the week with us.  :)  “Baby Boy Garcia” did really well at camp and seemed to enjoy the food, the worship, and even the ocean as his mother took him floating.  Very fun.

David and Cherylyn Hegg were with us to teach and David’s messages, which always inspire, were challenging and thought provoking as he taught on the subjects of the Christian and politics, ecology, health, and the church.  The MP3’s are on the CBS website (or go directly to the audio file page) and are definitely worth listening to.  A highlight of the week was having Danny and Rayna Oertli do a concert for the whole camp and as always, they did not disappoint.

David and Cherylyn Hegg were as engaging in the Crows Nest during their teaching sessions as they were outside, on the beach, as they engaged with many family campers.

It was such a personal joy for us to have quite a few of Paul’s family with us.  Sandy and Wayne Clark, Paul’s oldest sister, faithfully attended family camp all the years of raising their four children, and now their four children are raising their children here.  We love that.  Additionally, Paul’s sister Beth, who was widowed in April, came back to camp for the first time after a long absence, and it was great to watch her enjoy snorkeling, hiking, and family camp in general.  Carol and Wayne Herbst, his youngest sister, made it out from their home in Avalon for hamburgers at the beach, along with nephew Brian Rottschafer and his family.  We loved every minute we had with each of them.

Lisa, Kari and five-weeks-from-due-date grandson, and Gabe, enjoyed the banquet Friday night.

Our extended Friesen family ready for the banquet at Family Camp 4.

Lisa, Beth Friesen Smith, Kari, and Gabe enjoy the waterfront.

And if that wasn’t enough, we were thrilled to have several “chosen family” friends from Boston come to camp for the first time.  Tom and Michele Sweeney and their four children joined Carter and Tracey Welch and their sons at CBS.  Both families have been faithful family campers in New England at our H.I.M. Family Camp and pretty quickly noticed that they weren’t on Newfound Lake any longer.  :)  The Welches recently relocated to Santa Rosa, CA, but we still count them as Bostonians.  :)  Those two families along with Doug and Julie Macrae, who were making their third trip to CBS, made a huge statement on their self-declared “Red Sox Appreciation Day” by donning various hats and shirts bearing the Red Sox logo.  The Angels fans, who were quite prolific, extended courtesy but no support.

The Welch family, Doug and Julie Macrae, David Hathaway (CBS staff from Andover, MA), and the Sweeneys (Caroline not pictured) enjoyed a week of family camp together on a much bigger “pond.”

One more highlight to mention: Alton “Biggie” Green, staff from the past two summers, joined our staff to serve Family Camp 4 and by popular request, did an encore performance of the “bunny song.”  The history of this fabled performance began many years ago, when Imogene Davis first performed it at the weekly talent show.  “Biggie” apprenticed under Imogene two years ago and has since performed it without her at most family camps.  Imogene, who turned 85 at Family Camp 1 this summer, entertained us with her rendition earlier in the summer, and Biggie succumbed to peer pressure and agreed to perform at the closing session.  Unfortunately, the bunnies couldn’t be found, so at the last moment, a snake and a chicken filled in and Maggie Oertli began her apprenticeship.  It was four minutes of hilarity and a memorable end to the week.

“Biggie” Green and Maggie Oertli improvise their props for the Bunny Song.

Once again, we were shocked by how quickly the end of family camp came, and as many shared at the banquet, we celebrated the work of God among us through the week.  Family after family declared the importance of CBS in their family’s spiritual life. Family camp is consistently described as a touchstone place; a mile marker; the center of their family calendar year; the safest place on earth; the only “distraction-free zone” in their world; the only place every one in the family can agree on to go for vacation; a true vacation with a purpose; the place where God meets them.  What grace to be a part of this amazing work in this glorious place!

During the break between camps, we hang with the staff and experience great community moments.  This past Saturday night, Paul organized an all-staff sports competition which included knock-out, volleyball, and ping-pong.  It was a blast and virtually everyone was involved.  The festivities culminated with Paul’s world famous chocolate chip cookies made into ice cream sandwiches.  We’ve so enjoyed great unity as a staff and have bonded well as a team.

The staff dig into Paul’s cookies turned ice cream sandwiches after the sports night competition.

Only two weeks left at CBS.  With joy, we’ll continue to serve and experience God in this amazing place called Campus by the Sea. Thanks for your prayers and partnership.  We are blessed.

Home Again . . .

As I sit in our cabin this morning, I can hear the happy voices of children at play, the rowdy voices of junior and senior highers playing a crazy game on the volleyball court, and I can see small groups of adults sitting around picnic tables studying the Luke 15 passage on the Prodigal Son/Father.  Though “June gloom” hangs over the water making it look and feel cooler than a summer day should feel, no one’s spirits are dampened.  Family Camp is in session!

I can hardly believe that we’ve welcomed our second group of family campers in this young 2010 season or that we’ve already spent two full weeks here.  It sounds like a common refrain from many around us.

At any rate, back to June 14, Lisa and I arrived at Los Angeles International Airport safely from London, 11.5 hrs after departing Heathrow, were picked up by a dear friend who took us to the boat terminal, and were in an orientation meeting at Campus by the Sea by 7 p.m. Monday, June 14.  It was a full day.  :)  The Lord was extra gracious in allowing a mix-up in our ticketing from London that resulted in our being bumped to first class . . . so suspend any sympathetic feelings for our grueling return trip.  :)  We thoroughly enjoyed every indulged moment of being in the lap of luxury for 11.5 hours.  :)

Our first week here was spent as a staff team, developing both the program and our relationships with one another. Paul and I couldn’t have been more encouraged than we were by our program team.  Our morning discussions on the Bible passages were deep, insightful, and lively.  These staff have creative, bright minds combined with authentic hearts for Jesus—and 20 of the 23 are grown-up family campers.  :) We are so, so thankful for the “harvest.”

Between orientation week and Family Camp 1, Lis, Julie, and I stole away to San Luis Obispo for 36 hours to celebrate the marriage of Nicole Framberger (a former roommate of the girls in SLO) and Brad Kyker.  It was a joyful celebration and we were really happy that it was possible to attend.

The very happy bride Nicole is flanked by Lisa, me, and Julie.

And then came Family Camp 1.  We love family camp.  We love everything about it—from the moment our campers arrive to serenading their departure with the decades-old refrain, “We love you campers, oh yes we do . . .”  Our first week of camp did not disappoint.

Tim Theule of Grace Church, San Luis Obispo, was our speaker for the week and for the fifth year in a row, did a fabulous job of teaching Biblical truth in a compelling manner.  He taught out of the Proverbs, practically and with challenge, and was well received.  We love having Tim and Susie and their four children with us; there is so much relational and spiritual health in their family.

Times of family worship highlight every morning and evening. Here, all ages enjoy doing the “The Butterfly Song” which has been a favorite at CBS since 1976.  No one is ever too young or too old to be reminded of the truth in the refrain, “But I just thank you Father for making me ME.”  Our worship team, lead by John Thiel, is doing a terrific job.

Our very creative and dramatic elementary teaching staff have developed great skits to communicate the truths of the prodigal son story.  In this photo, our 4’s and 5’s teachers, Jackie Dressler and Taylor Tebay, head off to class with their students.

The 5th and 6th grade class, lead by David Hathaway, Whitnee Sherman, and Leslie Johnston, make their way down to the waterfront for their morning activity.

“Nature Nate” (aka Nathan Smith) reveals the natural world to very engaged campers.  He has developed two programs, one featuring reptiles and insects and the other, marine biology.  Everyone loves Nature Nate!

Kaitlyn Clark keeps two of her young charges happy and safe in the playyard.

The adult small groups are an important part of our program, and we often receive feedback that they’re the highlight of the week.

The annual game show, this year entitled “Who Doesn’t Want to Eat with the Pigs” was a big hit and fun was had by all (especially because the women won!)

Colin Mansfield and his parents, Dennis and Susan, leave camp a bit early to get Colin to Westpoint. Colin has grown up at CBS family camps and it was a great privilege to send him off with a prayer of commitment from his CBS family.

Another highlight of Family Camp 1 was Josh Robertson’s baptism.  Josh decided to follow Christ last summer at camp after having a marathon question and answer time with his counselors and wanted to publicly declare his commitment to Christ through baptism this summer.  Here he stands with his brother Zach, his great-grandmother Imogene Davis, and his grandmother Janice.

Paul’s morning devotions with the kids starts the day off in the right direction.

The weekly milk carton boat race was enjoyed by many.  The Hazlebecks and Tim and Haaken Theule proudly displayed their creative design which managed to place in the race.

The week flew by.  All too quickly, we had our final session Saturday morning and sent a wonderful group of families back across the channel.  As we debriefed with our staff, we were overwhelmed by the truth that because of God’s grace and power, our finite efforts would be used to impact eternity. What a privilege!

We recreated as a staff Saturday afternoon and that night did our annual “Full Moon Loop Hike.” After watching the waxing moon all week grow in size, we were anticipating a glorious night for our hike -- but unfortunately, clouds rolled in and obscured its presence.  So, undaunted, we hiked the full moon-less loop hike and had a blast.  Oh the delights of island life!

On the full moon loop hike, we take a break and play in the playground at Haypress.  Teeter totters and swings were never more fun!

Sunday follows Saturday, and a whole new group of family campers arrive.  We’re now halfway through Family Camp 2 and things in camp continue to go really well.  We are so thankful for the leadership of Dave and Kim Noble and the rest of the team here.  They’re doing a great job.  The new chef, Louie Mays, has elevated the already good camp food to restaurant level and we’re all loving what he has brought to the kitchen.

Best of all for us personally is having Lisa here for the whole summer, providing incredible leadership to our program staff.  Specifically she’s directing the junior high/high school program and is doing a fantastic job.  It is such a gift to us to have her spend her summer this way.

So we are thankful.  So thankful.  And feeling very much at home.

From Tenting to Tea Partying

Cruising at an altitude of 35,000' en route from London to California, this 11-hour flight affords me opportunities to catch up on some neglected quiet activities . . . like my through-the-Bible-in-a-year-with-D.A.-Carson readings, journaling, and now blogging. No complaints from me regarding this long flight. I love enforced quiet and stillness, since I seem to have a hard time making it happen on my own.

It’s been quite a month since my last post. Our days in Vero Beach came to an end and we returned to the saddle refreshed and ready to go. Which was a good thing, because we arrived late Thursday night, May 20, and Paul spoke at a men’s event Friday night. This is the second year in a row he has spoken for this group, which is lead by Alan Siegel, and he loves the spirit of the group. He was very well-received.

Saturday we spoke for a marriage conference in Easton, also run by Alan Siegel, and had a wonderful day with many eager couples, from young marrieds to older marrieds. We were very heartened to receive this message from one of the couples who attended:

You and Paul were probably the best speakers I’ve ever heard. I looked at my husband’s outline and was surprised at his honesty and felt he tried to treat me nicely yesterday. He, too, thought you both were very good speakers. Thank you.

We’ve had an ongoing dialogue with this couple and God is at work in a big way in their marriage. Praise Him!

We drove from Easton to Hingham and were privileged to speak for a Couple’s Coffee House hosted by South Shore Baptist Church. Bill and Rebecca Haeck spear-headed the evening and did a masterful job transforming their social hall into a welcoming, candle-lit, cozy coffee house. We always love partnering with SSBC and this was no exception.

Bill and Rebecca Haeck hosted the Couples Coffee Shop at South Shore Baptist Church on Saturday, May 22.

In the meantime, house guests arrived! Our very dear friends, John, April, and Lizzie Aleman, came to town for a graduation and we were thrilled to have them crash at our house. We spent all of Sunday together, first worshiping at our home church, Highrock Church in Arlington, and then relaxing over Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and home-grilled bbq. We thoroughly enjoyed reconnecting with them and building on our almost three decades of friendship through Campus by the Sea. Their kids, Nathan and Lizzie, have both served on staff at CBS in the past, as well as on family camp staff in New England. Their family is a great encouragement to us personally.

The Aleman family (far right) joined us for worship at High Rock Church in Arlington, and reconnected with family campers Tim and Linda Brown and family and Heather and Lydia Dietz.

Monday and Tuesday we both had a variety of appointments and “stuff” to do before counseling all day Wednesday. And then off again, this time me alone, to surprise our daughter Kari on her 30th birthday, May 27. What a fun surprise! By Friday night, all three girls were together celebrating her and we snuck off to a hotel in downtown Sacramento to further the celebration as a last getaway before baby arrives. Though everything didn’t exactly go as planned, it was a memorable and honoring time. Hardly 48 hours passed before I was flying back to join the H.I.M. Memorial Day Family Tenting Weekend!

In honor Kari’s 30th, Baby Garcia received some Red Sox garb from us . . . and some Giants garb from his dad!

The end of our hotel getaway was spent soaking in some Vitamin D poolside. (l-r: Lisa, Julie, Kari)

Of course the tenting weekend had started without me, and Paul was there with Jim and Sue Martis to make sure it happened. Twenty-five families (numbering 130 people) pitched their tents or drove their rigs to Myles Standish State Park for this annual event, and except for a brief (easy for me to say since I wasn’t there yet) two-hour shower at dinnertime on Saturday, the weekend was graced with fabulous weather (which means a whole lot when you’re camping in a tent!)

I joined the party on Sunday and everything was going swimmingly. In fact, many were swimming . . . or fishing, or biking. Regardless of the activity, everyone was clearly having a grand time.

As it goes, each evening the community gathers around a common meal (planned and prepared by Big Jim Martis of MJM Catering) which is followed by a time of worship, devotions, and s’mores. Mike and Seth Allen sacrificially drove to the campsite every night to lead worship and did a wonderful job again this year, and Paul lead the devotions in the inimitable Paul Friesen fashion.

The highlight of the weekend came Sunday night when Paul brought Thora Eames to camp for the evening. Thora, at 92, is still as spry and full of life as ever and young and old alike delighted in having her join the fun. As part of devotions that night, Paul interviewed Thora in front of the whole group. Everyone listened with rapt attention when Paul, acknowledging that Thora had experienced much loss these past years, asked her how she had managed with so much grief to keep going with a smile on her face. “Oh Paul,” Thora responded, “God has been so faithful to me!! I don’t have anything to complain about. Every day I wake up and thank Him for being so good to me.”

It was a recordable moment. Thora is the poster child for the truism: “Life is 10% circumstance, 90% attitude.” Thank you, Thora. We were all so blessed by her presence!

Paul interviews Thora, while Faith Metaxotos secures her bond with “Granny Thora.”

The weekend wrapped up on Memorial Day with our second annual Memorial Day parade, organized by the Barkers and the Cranes. Glenn Franks was selected to be the Grand Marshall in recognition of his service to our country. With most of the children mounted on their bikes and sporting patriotic colors (including glittery tattoos), and accompanied by the voices of an approximate 20-voice choir singing patriotic melodies, two laps were made around the camping circle to commemorate those who have protected our many freedoms, including the freedom to worship.

Glenn Franks served as the Grand Marshall of the second annual Memorial Day parade.

On your marks, get set, ride - carefully and slowly. :)

And the 2010 Memorial Day Family Tenting Weekend came to a close, with some families adding extra-curricular activities afterward, like picnicking at another lake and then making an ice cream stop as the exclamation point to an already great time.

The carefree escape from the worries of life came to a screeching halt Tuesday morning as we spent the day in our office counseling. We’re never far from the painful realities of life, which show up in so much brokenness relationally. By God’s grace, however, we’re privileged to seen much growth and healing in many marriages.

Early Wednesday morning, June 2, we drove to Cornwall, CT, to join the pastoral staff from Valley Community Baptist Church (VCBC) for the fourth year in a row. We’re so honored to be re-invited to speak into the lives of this amazing group of fellow ministers, lead by Jay Abramson and Tim Ponzani. We feel very personally connected to each of them by now and love just being with them. We led four sessions, dealing with ministry and personal issues connected to family and marriage, but mostly we just hung out, played games, took walks, and ate fabulous meals. It was as refreshing as it was productive, and we were most touched by them sending us off by praying specifically for us as we prepare for a very full summer. We’re so pleased to be looking forward to spending another week with Jay and Liz Abramson as they’ll be speaking at one of our H.I.M. Family Camps at Camp Berea in August. They are salt of the earth people.

The pastoral staff of Valley Community Baptist Church gathers for a photo op at retreat’s end.

Someone recently asked if I’ve really ever read the book Margin by Richard Swensen (since I often recommend it) and my emphatic “yes” confirms that just because you’ve read something doesn’t mean you’ve been changed by it.

The question was prompted by the description of what followed our conference for VCBC. We got home Friday early afternoon, and spent the balance of the day packing and preparing for the weeks ahead. Saturday was the annual H.I.M. Pool Party, hosted by servant-hearted and unflappable Doug and Julie Macrae. I (along with daughter Lisa, and friends Pam Barker and Kelly Plosker) left the party early to drive to Woodstock, Vermont, to run the Covered Bridges Half-Marathon Sunday morning, June 6.

Richard, Kit, and Beth Hendricks, and Lisa Friesen were some of the pool party attendees.

Which we did. In pouring rain (I had prayed specifically for it not to be a hot race, and it wasn’t!), we ran the 13.1 absolutely gorgeous course, and then made the 3-hour drive home to shower, finish packing, and fly out of Logan at 10 p.m. for London.

It does seem kind of crazy now, but losing a whole day of the London trip for rest and sanity seemed like a terrible trade-off when we made the plans. And besides, when we made the plane reservations, we thought the race started at 7 am. When we found out it didn’t start til 10:15 am, we felt a little bit of pressure to set a new course record. Even though we didn’t, we made it with plenty of time to spare.

Thankfully, it all went like clock-work. Lisa and I cut 7 full minutes off our last half-marathon and definitely didn’t overheat. And I even talked during this race. Back in November when we did our first half-marathon together, I stunned Lisa by not uttering a single word during the entire 13.1 miles. I couldn’t afford to give up any breath for non-essentials.

Pre-race photo: Lisa, me, Pam Barker, and Kelly Plosker.

This was a wonderful experience all around. Beautiful course, great friends, and a wonderful husband who drove up Sunday to ferry us to the start and from the finish, as well as to cheer us on and get finish line photos. We’re already eager to do it again.

Post-race photo: 13.1 soggy miles later. :)

The past week, we’ve had the great delight of experiencing London for the first time. This trip was a graduation gift to Lisa, in honor of her successfully completing her master’s degree, and London was the destination because her best childhood friend, Kelsey Offield, is studying there. Kelsey’s mom, Wendy, is one of my dearest friends, so the four of us spend the week together, dredging up unforgettable moments from our life’s journey together over the past 27 years, as well as making many new memories together.

Add to that the “only God could’ve made this happen” moment when we found out that our chosen family friends John and Marilyn Nugent would be in London at the same time, and you have two women who feel very, very personally loved by our gracious heavenly Father.

So we’ve spent the last six days exploring a new land and seeing come alive the photos and stories related to the UK we’ve seen and heard all our lives. We experienced most of the sights and sounds by foot (and my pedometer kept track, informing us that we averaged 10 miles a day) and loved most every minute of it. We ate great food, saw great theater, saw historical sites, and fell in love with the quaint charm of this country which served as a prototype for New England over 300 years ago. We visited Stonehenge and Bath. We had afternoon tea. We were privileged to be in the country for the “Trooping of the Colors” in honor of the Queen’s birthday, and we stood on the parade route, 20 yards from the Royal Family as they rode by on horseback or in carriages. We were quiet about our heritage Saturday night when the USA tied the UK in the first round of World Cup Soccer but secretly thrilled and so proud of our team. :) Along with the Nugents, we worshiped at the Holy Trinity Church of Brompton, the home of the ALPHA course developed by their senior pastor, Nicky Gumbel.

Lisa and Kelsey in front of the Jane Austen Centre in Bath. They never did find Mr. Darcy, though you can be sure they looked!

With Wendy, Marilyn, and John, ready to see “Les Miserables”

At the “Trooping of the Colors” - Queen Elizabeth parades by in her carriage.

Kelsey and Wendy were wonderful hostesses, and John and Marilyn were great traveling companions. It would be hard to improve on the trip, unless it would be reclaiming the day Lisa was side-lined with the stomach flu. Even there, God was so gracious to protect the rest of us.

Though there were many highlights, the highest light of all was seeing “Les Miserables.” We’ve seen it multiple times by now, but never have we been more moved by the clarity of the message of grace. Maybe its because I’ve lived so much more of life now than I had 20 years ago when I saw it for the first time - and am so much more aware of how completely dependent I am on His grace - or maybe its because I’ve seen His grace be so transformative in my own life as well as in the lives of so many we come alongside. Whatever, I was profoundly touched by the play and challenged anew to walk in grace in a deeper way.

So now, the UK is in our rear view mirror, and when we land in several hours, we’ll head directly to Campus by the Sea for our 35th summer. That’s beginning to sound like a long time. We believe we have a wonderful summer staff assembled and can’t wait to see what God will do in our midst in the next seven weeks.

Sunrise . . . Sunset from Vero Beach

Sunrise May 15, 2010 . . . Vero Beach, Florida

From a lazy perch in Vero Beach, Florida, Paul and I are getting some much needed R&R. The essentials of the day are behind us—running, walking the beach, taking a dip, reading in the sun (briefly)—so it’s time to “work.” First on my list today is making a blog post.

Our time in Sacramento, starting with the sixth annual Thrive conference April 29 - May 1, was adrenaline producing. Bayside Church of Granite Bay, led by our dynamic friend Ray Johnston, knows how to make it happen and this conference is the poster child for their incredibly creative vision of encouraging those in ministry so they can better encourage those in their congregations. Great speakers, hysterical comedians, thoughtful gestures (like free snacks between sessions), and vigorous worship make this a conference well worth attending and being a part of. Paul and I consider it a great privilege to be workshop presenters each year. This year our workshop was entitled “Got Sex?” and we attempted to give a Biblical view of sexuality. We recently received this email from a young woman who attended:

I wanted to express a heart felt thank you to the two of you for providing such a valuable workshop at Thrive, 2010. I was reluctant to go to your workshop and felt satan telling me all kinds of reasons why I shouldn’t go. I am so thankful I was able to hear and learn from you and to finally learn more about how God designed me and what He has in store for me as a wife.

Thank you for getting to the heart of the matter — Marital Sex — and for sharing yourselves, your wisdom, and of course God’s Word.

Virginia, thank you especially for your listening ear, words of wisdom, and your prayer for me afterwards. I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, one that I have been caring around since my early childhood when my father abused me when I was 3. Now, a mother of a 3-year-old and 1-year-old, it makes me determined to protect my children and teach them how God designed our bodies for good and NOT harm. I also feel the need to recommit to my marriage the way God designed it.

Again, I can not tell you how appreciative I am for the work you are doing!

May God continue to bless your ministry and of course, your marriage.

We are so thankful for God’s faithfulness to take our insufficient efforts and make them into something life-changing.

Thrive was also a great reconnecting and networking place. We met up with many dear friends in ministry, including the whole ministry team from BOSS (the church Gabe and Kari serve), and we had many fun moments of laughter as well as many “catch up” conversations.

Part of the ministry team from BOSS, featuring our daughter Kari and grandson, front and center in the photo. :)

Following Thrive, we spoke at a mini-marriage conference for BOSS on Sunday and Monday nights. One couple even flew in 3,000 miles to attend! Doug and Julie Macrae might have had ulterior motives to their trip . . . after all, they’ve heard us speak more than a few times. We’re suspicious that what prompted their attendance was hearing that Gabe’s parents gave our grandson a “Giants” outfit for Gabe’s birthday . . . and Macraes quickly countered with appropriate gear for the little guy, delivered in person. :) We so enjoyed having the Macraes out for so many reasons!

Gabe and Kari and Doug and Julie proudly display our grandson’s favorite gifts to date. :)

Doug and Julie arrived in time to join us for Sunday morning services at BOSS.

The marriage conference went well, all sports team talk aside. We loved the couples who attended and have confidence that some of them will be used to do marriage ministry at BOSS in the future.

We flew “home” to Massachusetts on Tuesday, May 4, and counseled all day the Cinco de Mayo. We were encouraged by a number of our sessions to see the transforming work of God happening in struggling marriages.

I spent all day (and night) Thursday finishing Lisa’s 21st birthday rite-of-passage scrapbook. Take heart if you feel behind on life: her trip was six years ago. :) And had I not done copious journaling on that trip, the scrapbook would’ve been a collection of photos . . . but not a whole lot more! My journal provided me with such important insights, lessons, and moments too important to forget, reinforcing my belief that “the weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory.” I was thrilled to successfully complete her album in time to begin our drive to Harrisonburg, Virginia, leaving Bedford at 3:30 a.m. Friday for her graduation at 7 p.m. that evening. :) Yes, we’re crazy. It’s actually a great time to drive if you can stay awake. We made it safely to Harrisonburg at 12:30 p.m. and got to enjoy watching Lisa’s softball team play ball at 3 that afternoon.

What a joy it was to attend her graduation....Actually, better said, what a joy it was to see her receive her diploma, get her master’s hood, and meet her profs and colleagues. Two and a half hours of watching all the grad students get hooded was a bit painful for these tired old folks, but we managed to be awake for her great moment. We celebrated with a very late dinner at a really great restaurant.

Lisa received her masters in exercise physiology from James Madison University and has accepted a position there as athletic trainer for their Division 1 Women’s Soccer Team.

Off with the purple graduation robe and ready for dinner.

After graduation, she was greeted by this poster made by her roomies. :)

She was totally surprised by her scrapbook, and we lingered over it, page by page, reliving the wonderful memories of her rite-of-passage journey in 2004.

The desire to run early Saturday a.m. (remember Lisa and I are running a half marathon June 6) lost out to the desire to sleep (we all had serious sleep deficits at this point) so we had a lazy start to the day. Lisa had to work that afternoon as the girls had their last regular season game, so we enjoyed seeing her team play one more time. That was followed by their senior awards barbeque which we were so thrilled to be there for! Lisa’s head coach started the awards night by giving a lengthy tribute to Lisa, which included naming her the “best athletic trainer I’ve had in my 20 years of coaching.” What a joy to share that moment with Lis.

Coach Katie Flynn honors Lisa with an “action shot” of Lisa treating one of her athletes.

We spent a lovely Mother’s Day in Alexandria with my parents and my sister and her husband. And then we made the long drive home, arriving at 2:30 a.m. Monday.

Mother’s Day in Alexandria with one human and one canine granddaughter.

You’ve probably figured out the beat: home in time for a full day of counseling on Tuesday, and then off to faraway places on Wednesday. We are in what has become one of our favorite places on earth . . . Vero Beach, Florida. Thanks to the kind generosity of Doug and Julie Macrae, we’ve had a week of true R and R. They were with us the first four days — very memorable days. On Thursday, they introduced us to the world of geocaching. What fun!!! It’s a treasure hunt for adults (or families!) in case you’re unfamiliar with it. We had a blast, and by day’s end, had “discovered” 14 caches.

Our first “cache” at Riverside Veteran’s Park.

Another very memorable thing we did was watch the space shuttle launch from Cocoa Beach on Friday. How blessed were we that the timing of the launch coincided with our days here! It was truly spectacular and gave us a whole new appreciation for the size and scope of such missions. What a treat!

We were 10 miles from launch from our perch in Cocoa Beach but that was plenty close!

We were a little too close to this alligator on our drive back to Vero, but Paul manage to protect all of us. Whew!

This would be a victory pose. :)

After all that geocaching, we had a lovely evening with Doug’s parents, Don and Mary Macrae.

It’s been good to be here, to catch our breath, and to be caught by God. There are not a lot of places we truly relax and disconnect, but this is one of them. It is a huge blessing to have access to this getaway.

With sunrises and sunsets bookending the days, we are more than aware of the goodness and presence of God in our lives. We’ve celebrated so much these weeks — from the healthy progression of Kari’s pregnancy, to Lisa’s graduation, to Julie’s wonderful and confirming time in Uganda and her safe return — we give all praise and glory to Him. From marriage conferences to workshops to counseling, we are so aware that apart from Him, we are nothing. We’re more aware than ever that He is our hope. He is our strength. He is our refuge. In Him and Him alone is true life. We celebrate that life!

There's no place like the south . . .

Fresh off the “Worth It” conference and more counseling, we flew to Ft. Worth, Texas, to speak at a marriage conference for Hallmark Baptist Church. Sean and Janelle Willeford, friends through Campus by the Sea, convinced their pastor to invite us and we’re so glad they did! Over dinner Thursday night (which featured guacamole made right at the table!), we connected on a heart and conviction level with Pastor Mike and his wife Diane, who have faithfully labored in ministry together for over 38 years. We were so encouraged to hear about their adult children who are faithfully serving the Lord and to get a sense of their vision for His work at Hallmark Baptist. It is a church with a huge heart for missions. We actually stayed in one of the two “missionary homes” that they maintain right on their church property. These homes are used by missionaries home on furlough, or preparing to go on to the field, or any other need related to missions. What a great idea!

We had most of Friday free before kicking off the marriage conference that evening, so we drove to Coppell to meet my cousin and his wife, Terry and Sunny, for breakfast. The rest of the day was very low-keyed as we relaxed and prepared for the conference. We were very thankful for some “down” time which helped us catch our breath.

Using a creative approach, Sean and Janelle had us speak for an hour, from 6:30 to 7:30, and then, with childcare provided for the rest of the evening, they sent the couples out for a dinner date. Brilliant! We enjoyed our evening on a triple date with Sean’s parents, Mike and Deni Willeford (who had driven in from Visalia, California, to take care of their grandchildren during the conference) and Sean and Janelle. “Salt Grass” served up some great steak and sweet potatoes and we felt very Texan eating there.

Our triple date with Mike and Deni Willeford, and Sean and Janelle Willeford (with their two little ones, Ashton and Aaron). Sean and Janelle are preparing to be career missionaries.

It rained and poured all day Saturday, which made it easy to keep a captive audience. They were both captive and interactive; they posed some well thought out questions which is always a good indicator that they’re wrestling with the content. A delicious catered barbeque lunch was especially appreciated given the rainy weather.

Some of those attending the marriage conference at Hallmark Baptist Church enjoy a yummy catered bbq lunch.

Our commitment to speak on Sunday at their services was renegotiated (thanks to the gracious release of Pastor Mike) due to the death of Paul’s sister Beth’s husband, Clint Smith, so Paul flew off to Rogue River, Oregon, to participate in his services on Sunday, April 18. Concurrently, I flew to San Diego to surprise Julie for her 25th birthday, which was Monday, April 19. Though we would’ve preferred being both places together, we felt that dividing and conquering was most prudent.

Paul was really thankful for his time with his sisters at Clint’s funeral. It was a wonderful celebration of Clint’s life and their 25 years of marriage, which we helped them celebrate last June.

And I was really thankful for my time with Julie and her roommate. It turned out to be great timing to not only celebrate this “rite of passage” birthday with Julie, but also to hang out with her roommate who is just beginning her journey of walking with Christ. The time, though short, was very sweet on both counts. Before I could unpack, I was back on a red-eye to Boston Monday night in order to counsel on Tuesday. :)

Jules and I celebrate her 25th with fresh sushi. Paul wasn’t too sad to miss this meal. :)

In spite of being in the middle of intense finals, Julie’s classmates at physical therapy school took time to surprise her with a cake in honor of her birthday.

After a full day of counseling on April 20, Paul flew to California Wednesday to attend another funeral. This one was for our long-time friend and co-worker at Campus by the Sea, Rick Durvay, who dropped dead ten days earlier while mountain biking on Catalina. It’s suspected that a heart attack took him at the young age of 58, so his death came as a big shock. Though we’ve had very limited contact with Rick in the recent past, his long history of serving at CBS as a mechanic and general all-around fix-it man makes him unforgettable. Paul was delighted to reconnect with many veteran CBS staff at the funeral and was especially encouraged by the spiritual vitality of so many of them. It was of great comfort to those who loved Rick to be assured of his commitment to Christ as expressed in a piece he wrote by hand just months before dying.

Rick’s death was another sobering reminder of the vaporous nature of life on earth.

Meanwhile I flew to Lake Charles, Louisiana, on Thursday and Paul joined me there Friday for our second annual southwest Louisiana marriage conference, hosted by Mark and Deb McCormick and Water’s Edge Church. Deb is one of the most creative, competent, and energetic women we know (check out her website http://www.debmccormick.com/) and she did a great job of putting this conference together. Recruiting from eight different area churches, she pulled off a cooperative event that served many.

The lead pastor of Water’s Edge, Tony Bourque, and his wife Rachel have a heart and a passion for doing church authentically and relevantly. Their two-year-old church plant, which rents the local movie theater for Sunday morning services, is growing by leaps and bounds and Tony was delighted to partner with the McCormicks to have a focused “shot in the arm” for the marriages of their congregation. The response on Saturday was very positive.

Paul and I preached at the movie theater Sunday morning and that was a first! Kinda cool, actually. It did seem like the smell of popcorn should’ve come wafting through the place...

We’ve spent the last two days reconnecting with my extended family in New Orleans and Mandeville. What a joy to have another opportunity to hang out with Uncle Don and Aunt Ann, my mother’s only living sibling. An early morning 3-mile walk on the shore of Lake Pontchartrain started Monday a.m. and that walk helped to counter the effects of the beignets and cafe au lait we later consumed at Cafe du Monde in the French Quarters. After poking around in New Orleans for several hours, we made our way to St. Martinville, the home of the Evangeline Oak that Longfellow poetically wrote of. It is also the home of my mother’s French heritage, as her great-grandfather, Louis Pierre Theriot, was raised there. We stayed in an ancient convent/house turned B & B, the Old Castillo Inn, and celebrated our 34th anniversary which we barely marked on the 24th due to the marriage conference. It was very sweet.

After exploring the town of St. Martinville on Tuesday a.m., we drove to Lake Martin and walked the 5-mile trail encircling the lake/swamp/bayou. What a fascinating place! It hosts a rookery, which was teeming with nesting Snowy White Egrets, Blue Heron, Roseate Spoonbills, and several other species of beautiful birds. Dozens and dozens of nests, perched in trees, filled with parents and babies, could be viewed from the trail and how fortunate for us to be there while so much was going on. Besides birds, Lake Martin is known for its alligator populations and we were fortunate enough to be able to photograph this guy who was posing on the banks of the swamp. Very exciting for nature lovers like us! We felt like we were in a different world.

This guy posed so nicely. And yes, he was alive. He eventually slithered back into the swamp.

By now hungry, we had some great Cajun food at a local spot (broiled catfish topped with shrimp etouffee) and then back to Sulphur for a family night with the McCormicks which included some rec baseball featuring their middle son, Bryce, and pizza. We love the three boys, but are so aware of how different a boy house is from a girl house!

And now, we’re on our way to California to be a part of two different conferences. We’ll present a couple of workshops at THRIVE, the sixth annual leadership conference hosted by Bayside Church of Granite Bay, then do a marriage conference at BOSS (Bayside of South Sacramento) . . . and then home on May 4.

An added bonus of being in Sacramento, of course, is checking on the progress of our developing grandson. :) Everything looks good as Kari completes five months. We are all so thankful!

Other family news: Julie is spending her two-week break between trimesters of physical therapy school (she’s now 2/7 done!) in Uganda, visiting some very special children and an even more special young man. And Lisa has successfully completed the requirements for her masters degree in exercise physiology and will be walking May 7. She has accepted a job at James Madison University and will be the athletic trainer for the women’s division 1 soccer team beginning August 1. We are so thankful for God’s hand of blessing on our family.

And so the adventure continues. These two weeks in the south have been full of delight. The food, the nature, the friendly folks . . . there really is no place like the south.

Is it worth it?

Once a year, H.I.M. hosts a conference that focuses on sexual purity. This year’s “Worth It” conference was held Saturday, April 10, and it turned out to be a “knock it out of the park” day. I don’t know what made it seem like “the best ever” actually, but many of us who have worked together for years on this particular conference have so labeled it. Maybe it was the team, comprised of some old favorites as well as some new blood. Maybe it was the venue: Calvary Christian Church in Lynnfield is a wonderful event site and a warm and welcoming place. Maybe it was the gorgeous weather, which was just what the doctor ordered after a long, cold, and wet winter/early spring. Most likely, it was a combination of things we can control, as mentioned, along with things we can’t control, like the work of God’s Spirit. He was definitely alive and well throughout the day.

Paul welcomes the crowd and sets the expectation for the day.

Paul kicked the day off with his inimitable warmth, substance, and humor. Each year, he goes through the process of evaluating whether he has “outgrown” his appeal to the youth as the gap widens year by year, but he is assured by many that he’s still “got it.” Whatever “it” is. He’s smart enough to bring together a young team to carry the lion’s share of the day, but kids still love him, fortunately, and his passion for the conference only grows stronger. A highlight of the day for sure was when he did his original rap on sexual purity. His performance was set up perfectly by a real rapper who had just performed, and Paul brought the house down with his American Idol moment.

Jess and Elizabeth Bousa, Kassidy and David Thomas, Joe DeZelle, Don and Yannette Davis, Julie Friesen, and Virgina Friesen. (Paul was taking the photo.)

Our team was phenomenal. Two singles, one from each gender. 25 and 27. Smart. Good looking. Athletic. Committed to purity. In love with Jesus. Two NFL players: one retired, one beginning his 5th year in the league. One teaching from a position of forgiveness and grace for the many sinful choices he made along the way before surrendering his life to Christ fully. One teaching from a position of having followed God’s design for purity. Two young married couples. Both couples with very different stories. One old married couple, still thankful for choices of sexual purity still being made. And a first: a rapper, who impressively did two original raps.

That’s the upfront team. The “behind the scenes” team was equally phenomenal: from registration, capably run by Barbara Steele, Sue Martis, and Richard and Kit Hendricks, to the book table, well run by Kimary Pomphrett, to the build-your-own-sandwich bar lunch, professionally run by MJM Catering and some wonderful volunteers. The conference was well organized and executed flawlessly, thanks to much hard work by our administrative assistant, Sue Martis. It was an “all hands on deck” effort which made it a great experience.

People came from all over New England. There was a group of 21 from Uxbridge Nazarene Church, who got Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards for being the largest group in attendance. The Yardleys flew up from Charlotte, North Carolina, which earned them some DD bucks. A group of eleven students plus three leaders came from Portland, Maine, and they swept the prizes for the ice breaker Bingo-like game. They came from “Jesus First Ministries,” a ministry for which we did a marriage conference last year. Most of their members are refugees from Rwanda and we were treated to a beautiful song sung by an all-girls quartet from their fellowship as an unexpected bonus to the day.

A delightful women’s quartet sang for us.

After Paul’s intro and welcome, Julie Friesen, who had arrived just hours earlier on a red-eye from San Diego, addressed the conferees by speaking on the topic, “You are Worth It!” It’s hard for me to objectively critique her talk (though many gave her very positive feedback), but it wasn’t hard to see the incredible impact she had on the youth, speaking to them as a 25-year-old woman who is smart, athletic, and attractive, and who has chosen sexual purity. Her message was that each person is worth being treated with respect, honor, and according to God’s good design for sexuality — and she was very believable.

Julie Friesen tells the group, "You are Worth It!"

Joe DeZelle was equally convincing. Serving as the Harrisonburg, VA, regional director for Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Joe spoke powerfully on God’s call to purity and he effectively challenged the young men to step up and lead well in this very important area. As a very good-looking former college athlete, his testimony as a 27-year-old single man committed to purity was bar setting. His affable nature and genuineness made him both approachable and credible. It was the first time Joe has partnered with H.I.M., but we hope it won’t be the last.

No strangers to “Worth It”, New Orleans Saint’s tight end David Thomas, along with his wife Kassidy, did a plenary session on “Sex is Worth It.” As high school sweethearts, and the football star and cheerleader at that, they shared with the group their commitment to sexual purity and the choices they made along the way to live out God’s design. They married after graduating from college, and consummated their sexual relationship then. After playing for the Patriots for three seasons, David was traded to the New Orleans Saints this past season — so he returned to New England as a World Champion Saint. For all those in the audience who really believe that no one these days could make decisions for sexual purity, David and Kassidy turned their thinking upside down. What a refreshing message!

David and Kassidy Thomas: “Sex is worth it!”

A wide spectrum of topics were offered during the workshop block. Brian and Heather Dietz, our longest running partners in “Worth It,” presented on “Mall Messages.” They unveiled the seductive and manipulative messages of advertising and the inherent risk of being sucked in by the “sex sells everything” culture in which we live. Jess and Elizabeth Bousa spoke on “Cultural Discernment”, tackling such topics as social networking sites and media. Jess’s new book on the subject, Cultural Deficit-Disorder, was available at the conference (and check this blog). Joe DeZelle and Julie Friesen teamed up to speak on developing your convictions and commitments regarding your sexuality before leaving for college. Don Davis, retired NFL, spoke on the power of forgiveness and grace. And David and Kassidy spoke on the delights of trusting God’s design for sexuality. All workshops were well-attended and appreciated.

Brian and Heather Dietz with their two daughters, who were lovingly watched during the day by Hannah Early.

Don Davis, who retired from the Patriots two years ago after a 15-year NFL career, wrapped up the day with a powerful and passionate talk on “God is Worth It.” Don’s love for Jesus was contagious and compelling. He honestly and openly shared from his journey, the years of living outside of God’s design contrasted with the past ten years of living fully for Christ. He was engaging, substantive, hard-hitting, and appropriately funny. In the end, he challenged each one to go deeper with God and to make a commitment to purity from this day forward. Forgiveness and grace were woven through his talk, along with the clear message that it’s never too late to start doing the right thing.

Don Davis passionately called all to a deeper commitment to Christ and to His plans for their life.

The whole team fielded an open question and answer session at the end of the day. The questions were varied and covered a spectrum of topics, from questions about dating to boundaries for physical involvement. The team responded with honesty and openness, and with helpful advice for practical application.


Paul closed the conference with a call and an opportunity to make pledges for purity. It was a sacred time. We are well aware that statistically 87% of pledgers will eventually succumb to the pressure of having sex outside of marriage, but we hope and pray that a much higher percentage of those who attended the conference will succeed. We hope that by making this a family event rather than just a teen event, the network will be stronger and the accountability higher, with both combining to increase effectiveness.

In our deepest heart, we want people to be convinced that God can be trusted and that His plan for our sexuality is best and does work. The carnage of trashed hearts, souls, and bodies due to sexual promiscuity — hook-ups, friends with benefits, etc. — is everywhere and the cost on all levels is incredibly high. Few talk about the dark side of non-marital sexual freedom: the regrets, the demolished self-esteem, the diseases, the memories, the rejection, etc., but it’s all very real. The lies are rampant.

Our goal is to keep proclaiming truth as long as we have breath and an audience. :) Plans are underway for next year’s “Worth It” conference, so mark your calendars now so you don’t miss out!

I’m going to close by including some comments we received on the evaluations or via emails, so you can hear from others great words of encouragement. Our conclusion? It was worth it.

I just wanted to let you know that this seminar was such a boost in my faith. Since 8th grade I’ve been developing a very strong relationship with the lord. I’ve recently started just reading one chapter a day with my two good friends. That and this seminar has changed me so much. I’m so grateful for all the work you put into to teaching us about love, boundaries and faith and I know what you said changed a lot of the lives in that room and especially mine. Thank you so much. —13-year-old female

I truly appreciate all the efforts that went into making this event so inspiring for the kids and encouraging all of us, parents and teens to live for Christ. The speakers were remarkable from all walks of life and I was truly impressed with their honesty and their commitment to Christ. As a parent, we need all the help we can get in helping our children live a life pleasing to God. Thanks again. —Parent

Thanks for the day of Worth It. My daughter seemed to really enjoy it. I was so pleased with her signing the pledge and wanting me to witness it. I know there are no guarantees especially when these things are done at 13, but in view of all that we are dealing with, it certainly gladdens a mom’s heart as we continue to build a foundation on God’s truths and not on what is in the world. I am grateful for the big role H.I.M. has played in strengthening that foundation. —Parent

I was challenged to raise the bar. Thanks. I needed the challenge. Please pray for my follow through. —Parent

The most beneficial part of the day was my friends came and enjoyed it. —16-year-old male

This has hopefully changed my life. Thank you. —16-year-old female

God bless you so much. It was so worth it to come here. The commitment was the greatest part of the day because I know for sure what I want in my life. —18-year-old female

Outstanding speakers, word of God evident in all activities, boldness in Christ and of real matters in teen’s lives greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much for your commitment to God, your dedication to His word, and your passion for this topic. God bless you all. —15-year-old female

He is risen indeed!

We hit the tarmac running. A packed counseling scheduled followed our March 23 almost midnight return to Boston . . . and God met us in big ways to give us strength and focus for a long day and night of counseling. We continued with appointments Thursday and that night spoke at the Mom To Mom (MTM) group at BCEC (Boston Chinese Evangelical Church). Invited by Fannie Ng, who along with her husband Wai-Chin and their two children, Grace and Evan, attend family camp at Berea, we always consider it a privilege to partner with this group.

Paul and I guard the yummy desserts prior to the start of the event for MTM Couples Date Night at Grace Chapel.

These “mentor moms” and their husbands helped to insure the success of the evening by sitting at tables with their small groups, and helping with set up and clean up.

Friday night, March 26th, competing with the NCAA Tournament, we spoke at Grace Chapel’s MTM Couple’s Date Night. Connie Lawrence and her team did a wonderful job of making the evening very special, with yummy desserts and beautifully set tables with fresh flower centerpieces and candles. All of those special touches make such a difference and set a tone of “we love you and we care about your marriage.” The couples responded well to our talk and we had many good conversations before and after the program.

Our third Engagement Matters (EM) Conference of the 2009-2010 season was held March 27-28 in Weston at the home of Doug and Julie Macrae. Eighteen couples crowded into the Macraes’ living room turned seminar room and fully embraced the weekend. Nate and Jeannie King (and their fourth child, Brady) flew up from Rome, Georgia, to continue partnering on the team, and Ryan and Kelly Plosker joined the ranks as a resource couple. I could tell you it was a great weekend, but I’ll let one of our couples do that by quoting from the email they sent after the conference:

Dear Paul and Virginia,

Thank you VERY much for the wonderful seminar this weekend! My fiance and I had a wonderful time! Your stories and advice were full of grace and humor while at the same time being direct, uncompromising, and grounded in real-life experience and built on the authority of Scripture (and thought-out, consistent interpretations, at that!). We both came away refreshed, renewed, and challenged, and we’ve decided to do a few things differently in our relationship as a result of what we learned.

We’ve been having a hard time planning our wedding because I am so E (and F) and [my fiance] is so I (and T), so we want pretty drastically different things. But taking the time to focus on our convictions and character, as well as to learn a little more about Keirsey’s stuff (which I didn’t think would happen - we’re both already big fans of his) and re-evaluate our physical boundaries was very refreshing and made us both come away feeling even luckier to be with each other.

Thank you for a wonderful weekend!

Our team was very thankful for the weekend and felt it was one of our best ever. Our next Engagement Matters conference is scheduled for October 2-3, 2010, so please keep that in mind.

Eighteen couples at Engagement Matters work feverishly on their Keirsey Temperament Sorters before breaking for lunch.

Ryan and Kelly Plosker, with Logan, Jordan, Sydney, and Bennett, served on the Engagement Matters team.

Nate and Jeannie King, with their fourth child Brady, flew up from Georgia to continue their commitment to Engagement Matters.

Saturday night, after all day at Engagement Matters, we drove to Cambridge to do an evening seminar on marriage at Cornerstone Church. This sweet fellowship, lead by James Lee, eagerly listened to too much information in a short amount of time.

Sunday we wrapped up Engagement Matters by 4 and then a group of H.I.M. “Church Partners” arrived for dinner at 5. :) It was personally very encouraging to brainstorm with this group who are so committed to the ministry of H.I.M., and to come up with some ideas of how to make a bigger impact in New England.

And then we went home and collapsed. :) Quite a stretch there. We were very thankful for a very low-keyed Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday was counseling--and then we were off again.

This trip was mostly vacation. We drove down to VA to spend Easter with my folks and Lisa. We had a wonderful time! Part time in Alexandria with Mom and Dad and part-time in Harrisonburg with Lisa.

In Harrisonburg, we watched Lisa’s softball team play ball (she is their athletic trainer), and then we celebrated her successfully defending her thesis just days before. She’ll graduate with her masters in exercise physiology on May 7.

A celebration dinner with Lisa in honor of her successful thesis defense.

Easter Sunday morning was spectacular. Lis, Paul and I drove to the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial and watched the sun rise through the cherry blossoms. I can’t imagine a more fitting way to spend the early morning hours of Resurrection Day than doing just that!! We were so thankful for perfect conditions for such an outing and for the timing of the peak of the blossoms. We were enthralled. It was great preparation for going to church and celebrating our Resurrected Lord. Can we ever tire of saying, “He is Risen!!! He is risen indeed!” The day unfolded with a family gathering at my folks’ home and delicious food, great fellowship and a rousing hymn sing around the piano filled the balance of the day. Serendipitously, as the sun began to set, Paul, Lis and I zipped back to the Tidal Basin to watch sunset . . . and it was a fabulous end to a glorious day.

Easter sunrise at the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial with cherry blossoms at peak.

The beauty was indescribably beautiful . . . so I’ll let the photo speak for itself.

Returning from a joyous Easter service with my parents and Lisa, ready for brunch!

Back at the Tidal Basin for the sunset, 13 hours later. It was also spectacular.

Nightfall over the Jefferson Memorial. I couldn’t stop taking photos. Thank heaven for digital photography!

Back to Harrisonburg we drove the day after Easter, where we spoke for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) at James Madison University that night. Lisa has been volunteering with FCA since arriving at JMU and she was very eager to have us speak on relationships. Twist our arms! We were only too happy to comply. And Joe DeZelle, FCA regional director at JMU, was happy to have us, especially after reading Letters to my Daughters. The evening was powerful. An unusually large group assembled and were very responsive and interactive. Great conversations followed. We love interacting with college students about this vitally important topic and consider such opportunities a privilege.

The FCA gathering listens to announcements before our talk.

Back home we drove Tuesday, on a beautiful weather day with light traffic. The nine hour drive gave us plenty of time to debrief and reflect on this very busy season. It’s been good and we feel blessed.

Signs of spring are appearing around New England. We returned home to a blossoming forsythia bush, which seemed a fitting symbol for the new life that is possible because of the death and resurrection of our Lord. He is risen indeed!

California, Part 2

Tuesday, March 16, after delivering freshly baked chocolate chip cookies to the BOSS (Bayside of South Sacramento) office, we finished preparing our talk for the REMIX. We were asked to address the many emailed questions spawned by the four-week series they had just completed entitled God Loves Sex. A sample of the questions are: Why would God care about pre-marital sex other than to help keep us from disease and pregnancy? How do we know what a God-honoring relationship is when we’ve never been in one? What is the big deal about dating a non-Christian? You can listen to the whole talk on their website here.

The staff at BOSS happily have a cookie break.

We loved the questions and we loved the enthusiastic and welcoming crowd of young adults that gathered. There was great interaction both during and after the talk. How fun is it to speak to a group that speaks back? Love it! We had many conversations afterward with those who wanted to exchange their sexual brokenness for God’s purity and purposes. The contrast between the goodness and benefits of submitting to God’s design for our sexuality, and the brokenness and pain which results from living outside of His boundaries, is stark. We were impressed that there was such openness and receptivity to hearing more of God’s truth. Gabe and Kari are helping them fall in love with Jesus and to hunger for His Word. The evening was loaded with passion for Him. What a privilege to partner with our kids.

Wednesday was spent in various (good) meetings and that night we helped Gabe and Kari host their “small” group of 22 who come every Wednesday night for dinner and Bible study (and a little ping pong if you can take being put under the table by the Master Gabe.) Another great night! Gabe lead the study well and again we were impressed with the community bond which allowed openness and vulnerability. Deep conversations were had late into the night.

Gabe and Kari’s small group meets every Wednesday night at their house.

Thursday was delightfully low-keyed, starting with baking cinnamon rolls for the BOSS staff, and then walking, relaxing, and going to dinner with Gabe and Kari. It was just what we needed before a very full weekend. Surprise!

Friday and Saturday we had our first ever West Coast Engagement Matters! When Gabe and Kari had suggested it over Christmas, they pictured having a group of maybe 6 to 8 couples, so we were all shocked and thrilled when seventeen couples signed up for the conference! Hosted by Gabe and Kari in their home, the large crowd meant clearing their living room of sofas and setting up 34 chairs. We love the attitude they have towards their home — that it’s His and to be used for His purposes. The couples seemed very eager to wrestle with issues related to marriage, and the conference far exceeded our wildest expectations. We had many very honest exchanges with the couples and felt it was well worth the effort.

Gabe and Kari speak to the couples at Engagement Matters in Sacramento.

Not to let the grass grow under our feet, we jumped in a rental car and drove to Truckee as soon as Engagement Matters was over. Truckee is very close to Lake Tahoe and some dear friends from Campus by the Sea, Randy and Joy Hitchcock, had convinced their pastor, Wayne Hoag, to invite us to speak at Sierra Bible Church. In the brief 15 minutes we spent with him prior to the morning service, we felt like we had reconnected with a long time friend with whom we were very much in sync. It was a joy to partner with one who seems as committed to growing healthy Biblical marriages as we are and to have his full support. After church, we ventured to a great restaurant on the shores of Lake Tahoe with Ty and Carrie Fields (our hosts), the Hoags, the Hitchcocks, and the Joneses, before returning to the church for a marriage seminar that evening. We were delighted with a great turn-out and an enthusiastic response. All around, it was a wonderful experience and Pastor Wayne promises that we’ll be doing more work with them in the future. That would not take a hard sell.

Wayne and Sandy Hoag, Randy and Joy Hitchcock, Ty and Carrie Fields, and Julie Jones were part of the lunch gang at Lake Tahoe following the morning service at Sierra Bible Church.

Back to Sacramento to wrap up and pack up after 18 days in California. The evening was spent with Gabe’s family, which put the exclamation point on the end of a wonderful trip. Off to the airport we went Tuesday morning, March 23 — and about eight hours later, we were picked up at Logan by Guy and Barbara Steele.

Home again . . . briefly. We count it such a privilege to do what we do. Over the 18 days, we spoke 21 times in 8 very different venues. So many diverse audiences and experiences, but one central theme: God’s design for marriage is good and His Word can be trusted to instruct and teach us how to live in our marriages and our families.

Simple but profound.

California, here we go!

We’re sitting in the Sacramento airport, reflecting on the past 18 days we’ve been in California, and we’re amazed with the diversity of experiences, interactions, and moments from heaven we’ve had since landing in San Francisco on March 5. We are feeling blessedly tired and exceedingly thankful. God has met us, and many in extraordinary ways.

It seemed rather surreal when we were met at the San Francisco airport on Friday, March 5, by our dear friend John Nugent. It was a “what’s he doing here?” moment . . . and then we remembered that he now lives here! John and Marilyn, our long time friends and ministry partners, have relocated to Redwood City, California, because John has assumed the CEO position of the software company Serena. And just in time to attend the Arcade Wesleyan Marriage Retreat, held this year in Santa Cruz! We’ve done a number of conferences for Arcade through the years and we are always impressed with the love and energy they invest in making each couple feel very special with the goodies they gift everyone with upon arrival. Kevin and Cheryl Snider have given leadership to this ministry for almost two decades and are tireless as they invest in marriages. We love partnering with them.

Getting snowbound at Lake Tahoe at their conference two years ago convinced them to seek a new site, out of range of snow, so the conference was moved to a great hotel near Santa Cruz. The Lord blessed us with incredible weather and all around, the weekend was a great success. We were especially pleased to have five young couples, each with their under-six-month-old babies, attend. How wise of them to be committed to investing in their marriages during a season of life which presents some of the greatest challenges to doing so.

Having John and Marilyn at that conference was the icing on the cake. We so enjoyed introducing them to some of our favorite haunts in that area, but honestly, even if we hadn’t left the hotel, it was a joy just to hang out with them. They inspire, challenge, and encourage us and we are so grateful for them

Paul takes home the big prize after throwing a softball in an apple basket at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk.

It was a gorgeous day for walking and we took full advantage.

The happy “campers” at the Arcade Conference are all smiles as they end their special weekend away.

Before the delight of the conference dissipated, we were on a flight to San Diego to spend a couple of days getting Julie settled in her newest temporary living situation. :) After being somewhat nomadic since early January when she moved out of the house she had lived in since starting PT school in September, she is now sharing a two-bedroom condo with one of her classmates, who is also her favorite study partner. We were thrilled to be able to get her and her stuff off the floor by fetching a bed and a dresser from my parents’ storage. We also had many long talks which resulted in clarity and peace regarding her current station in life. It was such a gift to spend those days with her and we are so grateful for the ways God met us. We were also able to squeeze in a few short visits with family and friends but as always, there wasn’t enough time to do everything.

Back up to the Bay Area on Wednesday night, March 10, to speak at Peninsula Covenant Church’s “Mothers Together” monthly meeting the following morning. Because we had such a wonderful time with this group last year, we were really looking forward to our return visit and we weren’t disappointed. Designed to be an outreach, the serving team pays close attention to creating a warm and welcoming environment for all the mothers who come. We heard many stories from women who have met Christ through this effective “entry point” ministry. It was a great morning and we had numerous conversations with women who appreciated our talk on keeping your marriage a priority.

Mary Sharpless Giani and Anne Gaddini are leaders in “Mothers Together” and it was a joy to reconnect with them!

Later that afternoon, we drove to Sacramento for a ministry engagement in that area. Adding to the attraction of driving four hours for a three-hour evening was being able to hang out with Gabe and Kari before and after the event. :) I don’t think we’ve yet officially announced that Kari is pregnant with our first grandchild - :) - so we also had vested interest in seeing how she is progressing. At just over 4 months, a little “baby bump” has emerged, and this is all very exciting. (A stop at In-N-Out Burger and the Jelly Belly factory en route gave me a little baby bump appearance as well. :) )

Gabe and Kari are thrilled to be expecting their first child in late August.

Our ministry event happened Friday night, March 12, at Bayside Church in West Roseville. The couples evening was scheduled by our dear friends Paul and Stefanie Spangler, who served with us at Campus by the Sea in the summer of 2008. We had a great time reconnecting with them over dinner before the event, and the great time continued through the evening as couples filled out the hall to hear us speak on marriage issues.

Paul and Stefanie Spangler put together a couples’ night at Bayside Church in West Roseville.

Saturday afternoon we drove back to Redwood City and spent an engaging evening with Doug Macrae, his son Drew, and Drew’s girlfriend, Dana, over dinner in Palo Alto. Great food, great friends, great conversation.

The next day, we spoke at all three Sunday services at Peninsula Covenant Church (PCC) on “The Irony of Intimacy.” We have such deep respect for Gary Gaddini, lead pastor of PCC, that speaking to his flock is a true privilege. Gary is a man of standing, marked by integrity and authenticity and that character is reflected throughout his congregation. It was a joy to partner with him. It was also a delight to have a group of our dearest friends from Boston in the service: John and Marilyn Nugent, Carter Welch (who is moving his family to Windsor, California, next month), and the Macraes. It felt very much like home to have them there.

This group of familiar faces from Boston dubbed themselves “H.I.M. West” as we met up at PCC on Sunday. Drew Macrae and his girlfriend Dana departed prior to taking this photo.

Monday dawned beautifully and was the perfect day for the unfolding of Gary and Anne’s plans for us to spend the morning hiking the beach at Half Moon Bay and then reward ourselves with a yummy lunch at the oceanfront Ritz. The only improvement to the day would’ve been lengthening it. We walked, talked, found sea glass, and had yummy food with ones we consider to be very dear friends as well as ministry partners. It was a wonderful recovery day.

Gary and Anne Gaddini show us where they “suffer for Jesus” on the beautiful California coastline.

With clearer heads and refreshed bodies, we returned to the church to do a podcast with PCC’s minister to young adults, Tony, and his wife, Wendy, on the subject of God’s design for our sexuality. (You can check it out here, though it may not be posted quite yet.) A dinner meeting with Matt and Christen Bumen followed that, and then we all went back to PCC for a “mini-marriage conference.” We spoke on love and respect the first session and on marital sexuality the second under the banner of “developing emotional intimacy in marriage.” Both subjects have tremendous power to enhance or destroy emotional intimacy, and as a result are fraught with many challenges.

Some of the couples who came out Monday night, March 15, for the mini-marriage conference at PCC.

Kari and Gabe servant-heartedly drove out to Redwood City that night to drive us back to Sacramento. It was great to debrief with them on the 2-hour ride back to their house...and staying awake was aided by a quick stop at In-N-Out Burger. :)

At this just-over-mid-way point in our 18-day ministry tour, we took a deep breath and thanked the Lord for His faithfulness. We’ve spoken eleven times in 10 days and have been aware of God’s presence in very clear ways in each venue. Our gratitude for getting to do what we do only grows. Thanks for praying and for supporting H.I.M.; that truly helps to keep us in in the saddle . . . or on the road.

Southern Living

As the last vestiges of the H.I.M. marriage conference evaporated, and after we had deposited Bob and Carol Kraning at Logan and put in a full day of counseling, off we flew to Charleston, South Carolina. Our dear friends and ministry partners, Jack and Leiann Harvey (and their daughter, Olivia) had invited us to do some “seed planting” for holding a future marriage conference in their area. The Harveys relocated from the south shore of Boston to Charleston over three years ago and were eager to expand the exposure of Home Improvement Ministries to their new neck of the woods.

Our three days in Charleston were full of delight. We love the South! It’s just so different: from the food (grits, anyone?) to the slower pace of life, you know you’re not in the northeast anymore!

We spoke at two events during our three days. Friday afternoon, Lisa and I spoke for Leiann’s “Friday Friends Gathering.” A group of nine-year-old girls and their moms came, and Lisa lead the girls in a small Bible study and then hung out with them while the moms and I chatted about several parenting issues. Though sickness and travel kept a number away, we enjoyed those who came and felt it was profitable.

Jack, Olivia, and Leiann swing together in downtown Charleston on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Lisa along with several moms and daughters came together for “Friday Friends Gathering” at the Harveys’ home.

Saturday night, eight couples joined Jack and Leiann for an informal evening of dessert and dialogue about God’s design for marriage. The group was engaged and responsive and were sold on having us back in the fall. We’re scheduled to return to Charleston to do a larger scale conference the weekend of November 5-7.

The couples thoroughly enjoyed watching a brief clip from Brian Regan at the beginning of our talk.

Saturday morning, Olivia watched closely as I conducted yet another cinnamon roll workshop. :)

It was such a joy to be with the Harveys from beginning to end. Their family is thriving as is their marriage, and God is using them to make an impact in their neighborhood and marketplace. We can’t wait to return in November.

And just in case you’re wondering what Lisa (who lives in Harrisonburg, Virginia, while she finishes her masters degree in exercise physiology at JMU) was doing in Charleston . . . “her” softball team (she’s their athletic trainer) had a tournament there that weekend! We were thrilled to connect with her and to watch her in action as she tended to the needs of the team.

After the fourth game, Lisa’s team lines up for ice packs. She is really good at what she does!

Paul arranged our flight from Charleston to have a 3 hour lay-over in Washington, D.C., so we could have a quick lunch with my parents and sister and brother-in-law. We were amazed by the massive amount of snow still piled in their front yard, as well as the Saints’ flag proudly displayed at their house.

Yes, that’s about 3 feet of snow STILL in their yard on Feb. 22! The flag WILL outlast the snow, they trust. :)

In one of our shortest turn-arounds ever, we returned home around 7 pm on the 22nd and were underway at 7 am on the 23rd. Crazy, yes. But it made sense at one point. It definitely made no sense as we were trying to do laundry and re-pack for our six-day trip to Dallas! Thankfully we made it, with very little sleep, and arrived in Dallas in time to celebrate the retirement of Norm and Bobbe Evans from their post as President and First Lady of ProAthletes Outreach. For 25 years, they’ve held that position for this organization which ministers to professional athletes, primarily in the NFL and in MLB. This ministry of “pro’s to pro’s” has impacted thousands through the years as the Evanses have been a part of 200 conferences during their tenure. They have been committed to excellence and have brought solid Bible teachers and godly leaders together to staff their conferences. It was a privilege to join with a large group of friends and ministry partners to honor them and their years of service.

Paul and I have deep respect for Bobbe and Norm Evans and their work with Pro Athletes Outreach for the past 25 years.

Before the annual PAO NFL conference kicked off Wednesday night, Paul and I stole away to Rowlett (on the east side of Dallas) and had lunch at my cousins’ Brian and Scott Shiell’s restaurant, Big Star. We’ve been eager to experience this popular burger joint and weren’t disappointed. Great food in a clean, cute setting. If you’re in the Dallas area, you should check it out.

Brian and Sharon Shiell and Scott (along with his wife, Amy, who is not pictured) run this great little restaurant in Rowlett, Texas.

The PAO conference got underway Wednesday night, Feb. 24, with the changing of the guard. Norm and Bobbe officially retired, and Steve and Lori Stenstrom took the reins as the new president and first lady of PAO. Don and Yannette Davis (retired Patriot) have been appointed to manage the NFL division of PAO and they did a fabulous job of providing strong leadership as they ran their first conference. It was the largest conference in the history of PAO with 450 participating and it was a great conference. Great speakers, great worship, great times of fellowship, and great times of service. Paul and I did a workshop on marital communication to an overflowing crowd and had a ton of meaningful interaction from morning until late at night for all four days of the conference. It was a joy to have a number of our Patriot and ex-Patriot couples there and we all happily gathered around Paul’s chocolate chip cookies one night. It’s an honor to be part of such a unique ministry - hard to believe that we’ll be in our 11th season with the Patriots couples’ study this fall.

Most PAO conferees partnered with World Vision and packed medical supply bags for AIDS patients to be distributed where needed, while others visited a local juvenile detention center and shared the gospel.

The highlight of the PAO conference was the baptism service held in the hotel pool Saturday morning. It was so moving to hear testimony upon testimony of God’s work in the lives of these athletes.

Pats and ex-Pats gathered for a photo after our last meal together. What a precious group!

We debriefed until the wee hours of the morning following the final session, celebrating the redemptive ways God had worked among us through the conference and acknowledging that He was present in a big way each day. How thankful we were for the opportunity to be part of such an important and impacting ministry.

Off we rolled to Stonebriar Church in Plano early Sunday morning to hear Chuck Swindoll preach. Our niece and her husband, Steve and Stephanie Stuck, are both on the ministry team at that church, so our main objective was to have time with them and their sweet little almost-one-year-old, Natalie. We learned more about some of the many ways they contribute to their church: Steve is a musician/composer and had written the accompaniment for a song performed there that morning, and Stephanie helps keep order in enrollment and check-in for Sunday School through their computer system--and she certainly was on top of her job. We love to be with the Stucks, not just because they’re related or because Paul married them 10 years ago, but because we love their hearts and their passions. Though our time was short, it was very sweet.

Stephanie and Natalie give warm Texas smiles from their home in Celina.

One more visit before flying home on Monday: we made it back to Rowlett for dinner with Virginia’s Shiell cousins. Besides having delicious “muffalettas” and red beans and rice, we shared great moments of raucous laughter, reminiscing over days gone by. Good times.

Lots of first Shiell first cousins and their kids gathered for dinner in Rowlett to celebrate family.

And so the sun has set on several more ministry opportunities. We continue to be grateful for health, strength, and ever deepening passion for what we’re doing.

Legacy of Hearts and Roses

Another H.I.M. Marriage Conference is history . . . and is now part of the legacy we’re committed to building as we continue to invest in marriages in New England.

And what a weekend it was!

A 9" snowfall three days before the start of the conference gave us momentary pause, but God blessed us with beautiful, clear weather February 12-14, allowing all to travel safely and easily to Newport, Rhode Island, for the conference. The Hyatt Regency Hotel on Goat Island provided a luxurious getaway location that invited all to disconnect from the cares of jobs, children, and life in general, and to reconnect with their spouse.

From the moment our guests arrived, they were wrapped up in love. Guy and Barbara Steele and Richard and Kit Hendricks warmly welcomed each guest with smiles, a goodie bag, and two of Paul Friesen’s World Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies. :) Can you improve on that???

The Hendricks and the Steeles made sure everyone felt warmly welcomed to the conference.

After settling in to their rooms and having dinner, conferees entered a beautifully decorated ballroom at 8 pm on Friday evening for session one. Dozens of red roses adorned the tables and were accented with heart-shaped votive candles and helium balloons. Doug and Julie Macrae’s signature was all over the room as they once again transformed the space into something thematically affirming and lovely. Chocolates, red hots, and conversation hearts were scattered on each table—edible centerpieces are always enjoyed and consumed! One guest commented, “The room made my husband and I feel so cared for the moment we walked into the room!”


Worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, who have become H.I.M. marriage conference favorites. As always, their music ministered to souls and brought us in worship to Jesus. It is such a joy and a privilege to partner with them in this strategic ministry.

Bob and Carol Kraning, veteran family ministers from Yorba Linda, California, returned to partner with us. Though no strangers to the H.I.M. family, it’s been a number of years since the Kranings were with us and it was a delight to have them back. Now 52-years married and still going strong, their messages on “The Legacy of Love” were powerful and credible. Bob and Carol are wise, approachable, great communicators, and speak from a “long journey in the same direction.” A number of attendees commented that they had never known anyone who had been married for 52 years. The Kranings spoke truth about God’s design for marriage and they challenged us to build “hedges of protection” around our marriages. Practical, humorous, and real would describe their style and they were appreciated by all.

Bob and Carol Kraning taught powerfully about God’s design for marriage.

Workshops were also offered at two different times so couples could tailor the weekend to specifically speak into their season of life. Ryan and Kelly Plosker presented a very popular session on “Living the Legacy Everyday” which challenged couples to choose to honor their spouse practically and daily. They also did a workshop for young marrieds to help them set their course towards God’s heart. Eric and Joylynn Mello from South Shore Baptist Church received rave reviews on their workshop dealing with finances and stewardship principles. Bob and Carol Kraning lead an interactive seminar on the empty nest years, while Doug and Julie Macrae delighted and inspired folks with their “Super Bowl” workshop. Danny and Rayna’s workshop on the unexpected twists and turns in life was deeply appreciated by all who attended. Debuting for the first time at one of our H.I.M.-sponsored marriage conferences, Paul and I did a workshop on parenting and it was packed out.

Ryan and Kelly Plosker taught on “Living the Legacy Everyday”

Eric and Joylnn Mello teach on making wise financial decisions.

As important as content and instruction are to a getaway weekend, we place an equally high value on providing time for couples to reconnect outside of scheduled programming. Five hours on Saturday afternoon were unprogrammed and couples were free to spend it as they wished. The beautiful weather made it inviting to enjoy the natural beauty of Newport, from poking around the waterfront town to walking the Cliff Walk. Some toured mansions, some shopped, some geocached. Some chose to catch up on much needed sleep and grabbed an all too rare nap. The freedom of the afternoon is as important as the structured times of teaching.

Many enjoyed watching the ice sculpture artists at work in Newport on Saturday afternoon.

A delicious banquet was served Saturday night, followed by a teaching session with Bob and Carol. The grand finale was an Oertli and Oertli concert, which was deeply appreciated by all. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

Sunday’s breakfast was followed by workshops, which lead into the final large group session. Paul masterfully emceed and his quick wit and on his feet humor kept laughter ringing in the ballroom as it had all weekend. He handed out dozens of Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards in honor of many couples who took the time to write a tribute to their mate and showed several hilarious video clips. Can I say that he does a great job of working a crowd??

Paul and I taught the final Sunday morning session.

As Danny sang “Will you marry me again?” to close the conference, couples throughout the room exchanged words with one another. Some prayed together, some confessed, some made commitments to make changes, some just sat and held each other. It was a holy moment as couples vowed to keep working at making theirs a “sacred” marriage.

Within an hour, the roses and balloons were on their way to many different homes, the tables were cleared of candy and papers, the book table was packed away, and the ballroom was stripped of all semblance of the “Legacy of Love” marriage conference.

But by God’s grace, each couple was driving home in a different place than they were when they came. Hopefully all left with a renewed vision for the potent ways God could use their marriage to change the world and with great hope that they aren’t alone as they face a world strewn with land mines with regards to marriage.

Some think that marriage conferences are only for people who are really struggling in their marriage. We believe they’re for people who want their marriage to be all that God has designed them to be.

Paul and I stand with Bob and Carol Kraning and Rayna and Danny Oertli at the end of the conference.

The phenomenal team that made it happen. Every one in this picture made a unique and important contribution to making this one of the best conferences ever and we are so blessed by them!

The Saturday sunset was spectacular and put an exclamation point on the end of a really great weekend.

The hearts and roses are gone . . . but the legacy is being built. May the next generation experience God more fully and with more credibility as they see His power and love in this generation!

Sleepless - but not speechless - in Seattle

A week ago we returned from our 12-day trip to the Pacific Northwest, exhaustedly energized. I know . . . that sounds like an oxymoron, but I think it’s apt. We flew 6,000 miles, drove about 1500 miles, and spoke 18 different times to a very diverse slate of audiences (including a church staff, junior and senior high students, young moms, and lots of couples), and reconnected personally with four different couples during the in-between moments. On top of that, we crazily cheered on the New Orleans Saints to winning the Super Bowl and that was really exhausting!

We loved every opportunity, and hence were energized, but our fatigue level was high when we landed back in Boston on February 9th.

This was our third time in four years to partner with the Moses Lake Alliance Church (MLAC), which means that we have really developed deep hearts for this wonderful group of people. It’s such an honor to have a continuing relationship with them and it’s amazing to us that though 12 months pass between visits, we feel very connected to them.

A large part of that is attributable to the executive pastor of MLAC, Kent Copley and his wife, Staci. We have really bonded with their precious family and believe that they would be “chosen family” friends if we lived in the same area. Their daughters, Tori and Britni, and their dog Sal, have all worked their way into our hearts and we love hanging out with them. Laughter bounces off the walls of their home when we’re together, whether we’re baking (Paul and Tori have a chocolate chip cookie competition going and I held a cinnamon roll workshop), eating, or just catching up.

Kent and Staci Copley with daughters Tori and Britni enjoy Paul’s waffles before heading off to work and/or school.

Tori and I are quite proud of our rolls!

And Tori and Paul are both very proud of their cookies!

Our ministry moments with them were productive and inspiring. We spoke at their annual marriage conference at Camp Spaulding to a “sold out” crowd, and loved reconnecting with those who had been there in previous years as well as meeting a number of new couples. At the end of the last session, Kent invited couples to share how God had met them and I was especially touched by the young man who confessed that though married only five years, he realized that he had gotten “lazy” and was no longer investing much in “wooing” his wife. From the response of many in the room, it was clear he wasn’t the only one.

Four of the couples at the Moses Lake Alliance Church marriage weekend are all smiles as they prepare to head home.

Back to Moses Lake for a very diverse schedule. Monday night we met with the MLAC pastoral staff and had a wonderful evening with them, processing the important topic of balancing marriage and ministry. We feel very comfortable with their team and we especially respect and enjoy their senior pastor, Jody Bowser and his wife, Caryn. It was a good night. The next morning we spoke to their young mom’s group, led by Caryn Bowser, and that was a treat for us. We closed the morning by playing Danny Oertli’s “If Ever You Worshiped” and there wasn’t a dry eye. Mothers with young children especially need to be encouraged that their efforts on behalf of their children are acts of worship and Danny does that so well in that song.

Our last speaking for MLAC was Wednesday night when we had the privilege of addressing their junior and senior high students on the topic of God’s design for sexuality. We were really impressed with the students, who seemed to have a higher level of maturity than many teens. They were attentive, interactive, and asked some great questions.

We reluctantly loaded the rental car and drove back over the “pass” Thursday, leaving behind a very dear group of people in Moses Lake.

Fortunately, there are very dear people on both sides of the “pass” and we were meeting up with some of them by lunch time on Thursday. In preparation for speaking to a large couples event on Friday night, we met with the tech team and the staff behind the event over lunch. Elaine Morse, the director of small groups at Overlake, and her assistant, Candy Smiley, were delightful and well organized. They made us feel welcomed and at home. We later had a delicious dinner at Dan and Candy Smiley’s home, along with a number of other couples who were on the team. And finally, we rounded out the evening with a late night Starbuck’s date with Sarah Hathaway, one of our New England girls, who is attending Seattle Pacific University. It felt very collegiate.

We spent Friday morning reconnecting with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom—for the first time on their turf. Richard is the senior pastor of Bethany Community Church and spoke at our marriage conference last February. We love his teaching and his heart and found it delightfully stimulating to spend a couple of hours with them.

We had an early lunch with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom in Seattle.

Friday night went off without a hitch and was beautifully done. The ambience created by a talented team, music provided by Jesse and Marissa Butterworth, and a few hilarious video clips, all supported our two 25-minute talks. We felt very good about the evening and very thankful.

Married Life Live at Overlake Christian Church was a sell-out and seemed to be enjoyed by all.

Elaine Morse, director of small groups at OCC and of “Married Life Live” was an absolute delight.

On top of that, we were honored to have one of my college friends, Janet Prentice Long, and her husband, Jay, and their daughter Lucia drive from Port Townsend to attend the evening. What fun to reconnect with them! The other huge bonus was discovering a soul type friend in Elaine Morse. The minute we walked into her office and saw her lacrosse stick on the wall, the bond happened. We felt like we were leaving a long time friend when we said good-bye Friday night. We trust our paths will cross many times in the years ahead.

Jay, Janet, and Lucia drove from Port Townsend to attend Married Life Live. Janet and I were colleagues at San Diego State University back in the 70’s, and Paul was our IVCF staff worker.

Very early the next morning we were off, and drove almost three hours to Grayland, a small town on the ocean by Westport, Washington. Several couples from South Beach Community Church had heard us speak last summer at the Coaches Time Out (CTO) Conference in Portland, Oregon, and they convinced their pastor to invite us to speak at their church. We focused on parenting for the first half of the day on Saturday, and on marriage for the afternoon. We had a lovely evening with the senior pastor and his wife, Myron and Carla Ness, and then taught at both services Sunday morning. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with this congregation and would happily return if the opportunity arises.

The last to leave South Beach Community Church after the morning worship services.

We barely made it to the hotel in time for the Super Bowl kick-off...but we did. :) What a game!! Having just been in New Orleans one month earlier, the endless and confident refrain of “Oh when the Saints . . . win the Super Bowl . . . Oh when the Saints . . . win the Super Bowl . . .” ran through our minds as we watched every minute of that fabulous game. We were thrilled for the Saints in general, and for ex-Patriots David Thomas (#85) and Heath Evans (on IR) specifically. Both of these guys and their wives were very committed to the couples Bible study while in New England and we are so happy for their success. Wasn’t it a great game?

We took advantage of our location and met up with friends Duke and Amy Paulson after the Super Bowl, and with Dane and Amy Looker (ex-Patriot, retired Ram) Monday a.m. prior to flying east. Both couples are committed to honoring the Lord in their marriages and families; it was refreshing and encouraging to be with them. It was a great send-off, capping twelve great days in Washington.

Mt. Rainier, which had hidden behind clouds during our entire tour, revealed all but its tip as we left. What a lovely farewell gesture! The flight home was uneventful and productive. It was a joy to see Guy Steele’s smiling face at Logan as he picked us up and it felt very good to climb into our own bed in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, February 9th. Home again...for at least a few days. :)

Of Merriment and Marriage

Not long after returning from New Orleans (about 12 hours later!), we spent the day counseling. The painful stories of so many are more than balanced out by the transformation we often witness when a couple submits themselves to the “nothing if impossible” power of God, but still, we’re so aware that the enemy is working overtime to destroy marriages and families. An unmarried young twenty-something woman, whose parents had divorced almost two decades ago, recently asked us, “When do kids stop paying for their parent’s choice to divorce?” Interactions like that only increase our passion to keep fighting for marriages. How grateful we are for the opportunities to do just that!

January 16th found us just over the border in New Hampshire at Community Chapel, doing a one-day marriage seminar. From the moment we stepped foot in the church, we felt connected with this very warm and welcoming group. Mary DiLoreto, the church admin, had done a great job organizing and arranging the day, which went like clockwork. Her efforts were appreciated by all, for sure, but especially by us and by senior pastor Geoff DeFranca. It’s so relaxing to speak when things are so well prepared. Those attending the conference were very engaged and responsive, and at the end, Pastor Geoff said, “This was the most formative marriage conference I’ve ever attended.” In a very meaningful gesture, he asked the conferees to encircle us and pray for us. And before we left, they invited us for a return visit in January of 2011. We are looking forward to an ongoing partnership with them in the years to come.

We went straight from there to Boxborough, MA, to join a group of very enthusiastic families attending H.I.M.’s Mid-Winter Family Getaway. The setting was ideal as the Holiday Inn rooms are built around a beautiful pool-centered atrium. We learned when our kids were growing up that an indoor pool was all that was needed for a great time during the winter months, and this site provided just that. Though pool fun dominated the time schedule, we had some great program moments as well. Brian and Heather Dietz lead worship and had full participation with family camp favorites such as “The Butterfly Song”, “I am Somebody”, and “The Sprinkler Song.” Paul lead family devotions at each meeting, and Ryan and Kelly Plosker added some creative and fun family activities throughout the weekend. They also took care of the kids during a “Parenting Q and A” session lead by us. It was a great time of fun, fellowship, and encouragement. Snow fell Sunday night as it did in 2009, adding that magical “snow globe” touch to an already memorable weekend. It’d be hard to improve on the overall experience!

Some of the kids reached new heights at the Mid-Winter Family Getaway pool party.

Everyone seemed to have a great, wet time.

From the kids singing “The Butterfly Song”...

...to the adults, under coercion, doing the “Sprinkler Song” (with a little help from their kids).

The special election held on the 19th to fill Senator Kennedy’s seat was a pretty big deal. Against all odds. The little engine that could. It would take a miracle. It’ll never happen. In an election that caught the attention of the nation (and at least some of the world), we have renewed hope that all is not a fait accompli. We admire Scott Brown as a person and as a politician; he ran a clean campaign on his merits and his agenda, hopefully sending a message to all future campaigners that contrary to conventional wisdom and common practice, voters are more moved by positive campaigning than mud slinging. Now we pray that he will be a man of standing for Massachusetts and for America. That night, for the first time ever, we attended a victory celebration—and at the Park Plaza Hotel, the shock and awe was euphoric and hope came bubbling over.

Doug and Julie Macrae and Paul and I celebrated Scott Brown’s stunning victory with a bursting-at-the-seams crowd at the Park Plaza Hotel.

More counseling...and then a return engagement to Grace Chapel to speak at Mom to Mom. They invited us to speak on one of our favorite topics, “Making Wise Media Choices,” and armed with new statistics, we challenged the young moms to be proactive and protective in making decisions regarding media for themselves as well as for their kids. Pretty staggering statistic that the average kid in America now watches/listens to/ interacts with 63 hours of some form of media weekly. Paraphrasing John Ortberg (The Life You’ve Always Wanted), “it’s not just the corrupt nature of what’s on television that harms us, it’s what it keeps us from doing!” So true.

Nineteen couples attended our Engagement Matters Weekend January 23-24, held at Doug and Julie Macrae’s Weston home. Thirty-eight eager, energetic, hopeful, dreamy people—who either are convinced or are on the way to becoming convinced that marriage will be an added benefit to their life—showed up. As usual, the group was very diverse: from just out of high school to well into a professional life; from California, New York, and Pennsylvania; from physicians to performers; from seven years of being together to two months of dating. Lots of great interaction, great questions, great moments of insight. We loved every moment of it and were so thankful for such a dynamic, well-attended weekend. Our last Engagement Matters to be offered during this school year in Weston will be held March 27-28, but we’re thrilled to announce that we’ll be having our first “on the road” Engagement Matters Weekend in Sacramento, California, March 19-20. The Remix of Bayside of South Sacramento (BOSS) will be hosting the Friday night/Saturday conference, so get the word out if you live in that area!

The room was packed with very engaged—or pre-engaged :) —couples all day Saturday and Sunday.

A small part of the Engagement Matters group was still around when we remembered to take a picture.

Counseling has filled in the days this week and we’re now enroute to Seattle, where we’ll spend the next 10 days ministering in a variety of locations. This weekend we’ll be back with the Moses Lake Alliance Church, doing their marriage conference for the third time in four years. We love Kent and Staci Copley who host the event and are so looking forward to hanging out with them and their daughters, Tori and Britni, until Thursday. Each day we’ll have the opportunity to minister with different groups from their church. Next weekend, we’ll start at Overlake Church, speaking at a couples’ night, and then spend Saturday and Sunday at South Beach Christian Center in Grayland, Washington, speaking on marriage and family. In between, we’ll reconnect with many dear friends and ministry partners.

So we’re off and running! Or flying, as it were. Thanks for your support, your interest, your prayers. We are grateful.