Legacy of Hearts and Roses

Another H.I.M. Marriage Conference is history . . . and is now part of the legacy we’re committed to building as we continue to invest in marriages in New England.

And what a weekend it was!

A 9" snowfall three days before the start of the conference gave us momentary pause, but God blessed us with beautiful, clear weather February 12-14, allowing all to travel safely and easily to Newport, Rhode Island, for the conference. The Hyatt Regency Hotel on Goat Island provided a luxurious getaway location that invited all to disconnect from the cares of jobs, children, and life in general, and to reconnect with their spouse.

From the moment our guests arrived, they were wrapped up in love. Guy and Barbara Steele and Richard and Kit Hendricks warmly welcomed each guest with smiles, a goodie bag, and two of Paul Friesen’s World Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies. :) Can you improve on that???

The Hendricks and the Steeles made sure everyone felt warmly welcomed to the conference.

After settling in to their rooms and having dinner, conferees entered a beautifully decorated ballroom at 8 pm on Friday evening for session one. Dozens of red roses adorned the tables and were accented with heart-shaped votive candles and helium balloons. Doug and Julie Macrae’s signature was all over the room as they once again transformed the space into something thematically affirming and lovely. Chocolates, red hots, and conversation hearts were scattered on each table—edible centerpieces are always enjoyed and consumed! One guest commented, “The room made my husband and I feel so cared for the moment we walked into the room!”


Worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, who have become H.I.M. marriage conference favorites. As always, their music ministered to souls and brought us in worship to Jesus. It is such a joy and a privilege to partner with them in this strategic ministry.

Bob and Carol Kraning, veteran family ministers from Yorba Linda, California, returned to partner with us. Though no strangers to the H.I.M. family, it’s been a number of years since the Kranings were with us and it was a delight to have them back. Now 52-years married and still going strong, their messages on “The Legacy of Love” were powerful and credible. Bob and Carol are wise, approachable, great communicators, and speak from a “long journey in the same direction.” A number of attendees commented that they had never known anyone who had been married for 52 years. The Kranings spoke truth about God’s design for marriage and they challenged us to build “hedges of protection” around our marriages. Practical, humorous, and real would describe their style and they were appreciated by all.

Bob and Carol Kraning taught powerfully about God’s design for marriage.

Workshops were also offered at two different times so couples could tailor the weekend to specifically speak into their season of life. Ryan and Kelly Plosker presented a very popular session on “Living the Legacy Everyday” which challenged couples to choose to honor their spouse practically and daily. They also did a workshop for young marrieds to help them set their course towards God’s heart. Eric and Joylynn Mello from South Shore Baptist Church received rave reviews on their workshop dealing with finances and stewardship principles. Bob and Carol Kraning lead an interactive seminar on the empty nest years, while Doug and Julie Macrae delighted and inspired folks with their “Super Bowl” workshop. Danny and Rayna’s workshop on the unexpected twists and turns in life was deeply appreciated by all who attended. Debuting for the first time at one of our H.I.M.-sponsored marriage conferences, Paul and I did a workshop on parenting and it was packed out.

Ryan and Kelly Plosker taught on “Living the Legacy Everyday”

Eric and Joylnn Mello teach on making wise financial decisions.

As important as content and instruction are to a getaway weekend, we place an equally high value on providing time for couples to reconnect outside of scheduled programming. Five hours on Saturday afternoon were unprogrammed and couples were free to spend it as they wished. The beautiful weather made it inviting to enjoy the natural beauty of Newport, from poking around the waterfront town to walking the Cliff Walk. Some toured mansions, some shopped, some geocached. Some chose to catch up on much needed sleep and grabbed an all too rare nap. The freedom of the afternoon is as important as the structured times of teaching.

Many enjoyed watching the ice sculpture artists at work in Newport on Saturday afternoon.

A delicious banquet was served Saturday night, followed by a teaching session with Bob and Carol. The grand finale was an Oertli and Oertli concert, which was deeply appreciated by all. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

Sunday’s breakfast was followed by workshops, which lead into the final large group session. Paul masterfully emceed and his quick wit and on his feet humor kept laughter ringing in the ballroom as it had all weekend. He handed out dozens of Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards in honor of many couples who took the time to write a tribute to their mate and showed several hilarious video clips. Can I say that he does a great job of working a crowd??

Paul and I taught the final Sunday morning session.

As Danny sang “Will you marry me again?” to close the conference, couples throughout the room exchanged words with one another. Some prayed together, some confessed, some made commitments to make changes, some just sat and held each other. It was a holy moment as couples vowed to keep working at making theirs a “sacred” marriage.

Within an hour, the roses and balloons were on their way to many different homes, the tables were cleared of candy and papers, the book table was packed away, and the ballroom was stripped of all semblance of the “Legacy of Love” marriage conference.

But by God’s grace, each couple was driving home in a different place than they were when they came. Hopefully all left with a renewed vision for the potent ways God could use their marriage to change the world and with great hope that they aren’t alone as they face a world strewn with land mines with regards to marriage.

Some think that marriage conferences are only for people who are really struggling in their marriage. We believe they’re for people who want their marriage to be all that God has designed them to be.

Paul and I stand with Bob and Carol Kraning and Rayna and Danny Oertli at the end of the conference.

The phenomenal team that made it happen. Every one in this picture made a unique and important contribution to making this one of the best conferences ever and we are so blessed by them!

The Saturday sunset was spectacular and put an exclamation point on the end of a really great weekend.

The hearts and roses are gone . . . but the legacy is being built. May the next generation experience God more fully and with more credibility as they see His power and love in this generation!

Sleepless - but not speechless - in Seattle

A week ago we returned from our 12-day trip to the Pacific Northwest, exhaustedly energized. I know . . . that sounds like an oxymoron, but I think it’s apt. We flew 6,000 miles, drove about 1500 miles, and spoke 18 different times to a very diverse slate of audiences (including a church staff, junior and senior high students, young moms, and lots of couples), and reconnected personally with four different couples during the in-between moments. On top of that, we crazily cheered on the New Orleans Saints to winning the Super Bowl and that was really exhausting!

We loved every opportunity, and hence were energized, but our fatigue level was high when we landed back in Boston on February 9th.

This was our third time in four years to partner with the Moses Lake Alliance Church (MLAC), which means that we have really developed deep hearts for this wonderful group of people. It’s such an honor to have a continuing relationship with them and it’s amazing to us that though 12 months pass between visits, we feel very connected to them.

A large part of that is attributable to the executive pastor of MLAC, Kent Copley and his wife, Staci. We have really bonded with their precious family and believe that they would be “chosen family” friends if we lived in the same area. Their daughters, Tori and Britni, and their dog Sal, have all worked their way into our hearts and we love hanging out with them. Laughter bounces off the walls of their home when we’re together, whether we’re baking (Paul and Tori have a chocolate chip cookie competition going and I held a cinnamon roll workshop), eating, or just catching up.

Kent and Staci Copley with daughters Tori and Britni enjoy Paul’s waffles before heading off to work and/or school.

Tori and I are quite proud of our rolls!

And Tori and Paul are both very proud of their cookies!

Our ministry moments with them were productive and inspiring. We spoke at their annual marriage conference at Camp Spaulding to a “sold out” crowd, and loved reconnecting with those who had been there in previous years as well as meeting a number of new couples. At the end of the last session, Kent invited couples to share how God had met them and I was especially touched by the young man who confessed that though married only five years, he realized that he had gotten “lazy” and was no longer investing much in “wooing” his wife. From the response of many in the room, it was clear he wasn’t the only one.

Four of the couples at the Moses Lake Alliance Church marriage weekend are all smiles as they prepare to head home.

Back to Moses Lake for a very diverse schedule. Monday night we met with the MLAC pastoral staff and had a wonderful evening with them, processing the important topic of balancing marriage and ministry. We feel very comfortable with their team and we especially respect and enjoy their senior pastor, Jody Bowser and his wife, Caryn. It was a good night. The next morning we spoke to their young mom’s group, led by Caryn Bowser, and that was a treat for us. We closed the morning by playing Danny Oertli’s “If Ever You Worshiped” and there wasn’t a dry eye. Mothers with young children especially need to be encouraged that their efforts on behalf of their children are acts of worship and Danny does that so well in that song.

Our last speaking for MLAC was Wednesday night when we had the privilege of addressing their junior and senior high students on the topic of God’s design for sexuality. We were really impressed with the students, who seemed to have a higher level of maturity than many teens. They were attentive, interactive, and asked some great questions.

We reluctantly loaded the rental car and drove back over the “pass” Thursday, leaving behind a very dear group of people in Moses Lake.

Fortunately, there are very dear people on both sides of the “pass” and we were meeting up with some of them by lunch time on Thursday. In preparation for speaking to a large couples event on Friday night, we met with the tech team and the staff behind the event over lunch. Elaine Morse, the director of small groups at Overlake, and her assistant, Candy Smiley, were delightful and well organized. They made us feel welcomed and at home. We later had a delicious dinner at Dan and Candy Smiley’s home, along with a number of other couples who were on the team. And finally, we rounded out the evening with a late night Starbuck’s date with Sarah Hathaway, one of our New England girls, who is attending Seattle Pacific University. It felt very collegiate.

We spent Friday morning reconnecting with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom—for the first time on their turf. Richard is the senior pastor of Bethany Community Church and spoke at our marriage conference last February. We love his teaching and his heart and found it delightfully stimulating to spend a couple of hours with them.

We had an early lunch with Richard and Donna Dahlstrom in Seattle.

Friday night went off without a hitch and was beautifully done. The ambience created by a talented team, music provided by Jesse and Marissa Butterworth, and a few hilarious video clips, all supported our two 25-minute talks. We felt very good about the evening and very thankful.

Married Life Live at Overlake Christian Church was a sell-out and seemed to be enjoyed by all.

Elaine Morse, director of small groups at OCC and of “Married Life Live” was an absolute delight.

On top of that, we were honored to have one of my college friends, Janet Prentice Long, and her husband, Jay, and their daughter Lucia drive from Port Townsend to attend the evening. What fun to reconnect with them! The other huge bonus was discovering a soul type friend in Elaine Morse. The minute we walked into her office and saw her lacrosse stick on the wall, the bond happened. We felt like we were leaving a long time friend when we said good-bye Friday night. We trust our paths will cross many times in the years ahead.

Jay, Janet, and Lucia drove from Port Townsend to attend Married Life Live. Janet and I were colleagues at San Diego State University back in the 70’s, and Paul was our IVCF staff worker.

Very early the next morning we were off, and drove almost three hours to Grayland, a small town on the ocean by Westport, Washington. Several couples from South Beach Community Church had heard us speak last summer at the Coaches Time Out (CTO) Conference in Portland, Oregon, and they convinced their pastor to invite us to speak at their church. We focused on parenting for the first half of the day on Saturday, and on marriage for the afternoon. We had a lovely evening with the senior pastor and his wife, Myron and Carla Ness, and then taught at both services Sunday morning. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with this congregation and would happily return if the opportunity arises.

The last to leave South Beach Community Church after the morning worship services.

We barely made it to the hotel in time for the Super Bowl kick-off...but we did. :) What a game!! Having just been in New Orleans one month earlier, the endless and confident refrain of “Oh when the Saints . . . win the Super Bowl . . . Oh when the Saints . . . win the Super Bowl . . .” ran through our minds as we watched every minute of that fabulous game. We were thrilled for the Saints in general, and for ex-Patriots David Thomas (#85) and Heath Evans (on IR) specifically. Both of these guys and their wives were very committed to the couples Bible study while in New England and we are so happy for their success. Wasn’t it a great game?

We took advantage of our location and met up with friends Duke and Amy Paulson after the Super Bowl, and with Dane and Amy Looker (ex-Patriot, retired Ram) Monday a.m. prior to flying east. Both couples are committed to honoring the Lord in their marriages and families; it was refreshing and encouraging to be with them. It was a great send-off, capping twelve great days in Washington.

Mt. Rainier, which had hidden behind clouds during our entire tour, revealed all but its tip as we left. What a lovely farewell gesture! The flight home was uneventful and productive. It was a joy to see Guy Steele’s smiling face at Logan as he picked us up and it felt very good to climb into our own bed in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, February 9th. Home again...for at least a few days. :)

Of Merriment and Marriage

Not long after returning from New Orleans (about 12 hours later!), we spent the day counseling. The painful stories of so many are more than balanced out by the transformation we often witness when a couple submits themselves to the “nothing if impossible” power of God, but still, we’re so aware that the enemy is working overtime to destroy marriages and families. An unmarried young twenty-something woman, whose parents had divorced almost two decades ago, recently asked us, “When do kids stop paying for their parent’s choice to divorce?” Interactions like that only increase our passion to keep fighting for marriages. How grateful we are for the opportunities to do just that!

January 16th found us just over the border in New Hampshire at Community Chapel, doing a one-day marriage seminar. From the moment we stepped foot in the church, we felt connected with this very warm and welcoming group. Mary DiLoreto, the church admin, had done a great job organizing and arranging the day, which went like clockwork. Her efforts were appreciated by all, for sure, but especially by us and by senior pastor Geoff DeFranca. It’s so relaxing to speak when things are so well prepared. Those attending the conference were very engaged and responsive, and at the end, Pastor Geoff said, “This was the most formative marriage conference I’ve ever attended.” In a very meaningful gesture, he asked the conferees to encircle us and pray for us. And before we left, they invited us for a return visit in January of 2011. We are looking forward to an ongoing partnership with them in the years to come.

We went straight from there to Boxborough, MA, to join a group of very enthusiastic families attending H.I.M.’s Mid-Winter Family Getaway. The setting was ideal as the Holiday Inn rooms are built around a beautiful pool-centered atrium. We learned when our kids were growing up that an indoor pool was all that was needed for a great time during the winter months, and this site provided just that. Though pool fun dominated the time schedule, we had some great program moments as well. Brian and Heather Dietz lead worship and had full participation with family camp favorites such as “The Butterfly Song”, “I am Somebody”, and “The Sprinkler Song.” Paul lead family devotions at each meeting, and Ryan and Kelly Plosker added some creative and fun family activities throughout the weekend. They also took care of the kids during a “Parenting Q and A” session lead by us. It was a great time of fun, fellowship, and encouragement. Snow fell Sunday night as it did in 2009, adding that magical “snow globe” touch to an already memorable weekend. It’d be hard to improve on the overall experience!

Some of the kids reached new heights at the Mid-Winter Family Getaway pool party.

Everyone seemed to have a great, wet time.

From the kids singing “The Butterfly Song”...

...to the adults, under coercion, doing the “Sprinkler Song” (with a little help from their kids).

The special election held on the 19th to fill Senator Kennedy’s seat was a pretty big deal. Against all odds. The little engine that could. It would take a miracle. It’ll never happen. In an election that caught the attention of the nation (and at least some of the world), we have renewed hope that all is not a fait accompli. We admire Scott Brown as a person and as a politician; he ran a clean campaign on his merits and his agenda, hopefully sending a message to all future campaigners that contrary to conventional wisdom and common practice, voters are more moved by positive campaigning than mud slinging. Now we pray that he will be a man of standing for Massachusetts and for America. That night, for the first time ever, we attended a victory celebration—and at the Park Plaza Hotel, the shock and awe was euphoric and hope came bubbling over.

Doug and Julie Macrae and Paul and I celebrated Scott Brown’s stunning victory with a bursting-at-the-seams crowd at the Park Plaza Hotel.

More counseling...and then a return engagement to Grace Chapel to speak at Mom to Mom. They invited us to speak on one of our favorite topics, “Making Wise Media Choices,” and armed with new statistics, we challenged the young moms to be proactive and protective in making decisions regarding media for themselves as well as for their kids. Pretty staggering statistic that the average kid in America now watches/listens to/ interacts with 63 hours of some form of media weekly. Paraphrasing John Ortberg (The Life You’ve Always Wanted), “it’s not just the corrupt nature of what’s on television that harms us, it’s what it keeps us from doing!” So true.

Nineteen couples attended our Engagement Matters Weekend January 23-24, held at Doug and Julie Macrae’s Weston home. Thirty-eight eager, energetic, hopeful, dreamy people—who either are convinced or are on the way to becoming convinced that marriage will be an added benefit to their life—showed up. As usual, the group was very diverse: from just out of high school to well into a professional life; from California, New York, and Pennsylvania; from physicians to performers; from seven years of being together to two months of dating. Lots of great interaction, great questions, great moments of insight. We loved every moment of it and were so thankful for such a dynamic, well-attended weekend. Our last Engagement Matters to be offered during this school year in Weston will be held March 27-28, but we’re thrilled to announce that we’ll be having our first “on the road” Engagement Matters Weekend in Sacramento, California, March 19-20. The Remix of Bayside of South Sacramento (BOSS) will be hosting the Friday night/Saturday conference, so get the word out if you live in that area!

The room was packed with very engaged—or pre-engaged :) —couples all day Saturday and Sunday.

A small part of the Engagement Matters group was still around when we remembered to take a picture.

Counseling has filled in the days this week and we’re now enroute to Seattle, where we’ll spend the next 10 days ministering in a variety of locations. This weekend we’ll be back with the Moses Lake Alliance Church, doing their marriage conference for the third time in four years. We love Kent and Staci Copley who host the event and are so looking forward to hanging out with them and their daughters, Tori and Britni, until Thursday. Each day we’ll have the opportunity to minister with different groups from their church. Next weekend, we’ll start at Overlake Church, speaking at a couples’ night, and then spend Saturday and Sunday at South Beach Christian Center in Grayland, Washington, speaking on marriage and family. In between, we’ll reconnect with many dear friends and ministry partners.

So we’re off and running! Or flying, as it were. Thanks for your support, your interest, your prayers. We are grateful.

Of Life and Death

If January is a harbinger for things to come in the year ahead, we’re in for a wild ride!

The month started with the heights of delight (having the kids home, celebrating the holidays with my folks and siblings in northern Virginia, and then having the 80th birthday gala for my mom in New Orleans), as well as shocking grief on a global level with the horrific earthquake in Haiti--and on a personal level as we received word that one of our extraordinary former family camp staffers, Jordan Crouch, passed away January 2.

Haiti’s devastation has touched us very deeply because we spent eight days in that incredibly impoverished country in 1999. It was our first family missions trip, and though several destinations were considered, our personal relationship with Marion Austin compelled us to serve with her “second half of life” ministry, Hope for the Children of Haiti (HFC.) Twenty-three of us prepared, collected food, and planned for the trip...but nothing prepared us for how our hearts would be changed by our experience there. It was truly a “as you’ve done to the least of these...” series of moments, from the second we deplaned on that hot tarmac and were immediately assaulted with the stench and squalor that characterizes places which have no systems for sanitation, trash removal, etc., to dedicating the 10 x 12 cinder block house we’d helped build during the week for a precious, previously homeless, fatherless family.

I remember being so aware of how far out of my comfort zone I was, and don’t forget that I’m very comfortable in a “roughing it” world (i.e., using outhouses, going without showers, and eating simply.) I remember looking into the desperate eyes of young mothers who were holding up infants to us to take, believing that their child would have better than a 50% chance of survival in our arms rather than theirs. I remember the HFC orphans who responded with such joy and childish delight to our team who with them played, sang, jumped rope, and snuggled. I remember admiring the “kids” on our team—Peter and Matthew Steele, Chris and Meg Woodworth, Missy and Kara Carmody, Spencer and Georgia Walle, Kari, Lisa, and Julie Friesen—who held back nothing and just loved on these ones so precious to Jesus. I remember being ashamed at my own tendency to recoil (at least internally) from little ones with crusty noses and oozing sores. I remember being acutely aware that all of my sensate perceptions were assaulted by the sights, smells, and sounds of this small country which met every “third world” requirement.

I also remember that none of those things I found so personally off-setting mattered by the end of our time. After working for a week, side by side with “our” family, building their house, we gathered to dedicate this humble domicile. Hand in hand—Haitian, “blanc,” Haitian, “blanc”—we prayed that God would bless their home and their family.

And then we sang “How Great Thou Art”— in beautiful harmony, in Creole French and English, with rich Haitian voices so resonant with timbre that eludes our voices, with tears streaming down our cheeks. Since “How Great Thou Art” is my favorite hymn, I’m easily inspired to sing it when observing the majesty of His creation, be it the sun dissolving into the Pacific Ocean, the full moon rising behind stately mountains, the snow falling gently as it blankets the earth, the sea turtles gracefully moving through the water. “How Great Thou Art” proclaims the song—obviously!

The paradox wasn’t lost on me at that moment. There were no beautiful sunsets, no majestic mountains, no lush forests, no cascading waterfalls that day in that mostly forgotten slum outside of Port-au-Prince. And yet, the words and meaning of “How Great Thou Art” were never truer, for the pinnacle of God’s creation—His image bearers, His children—were singing lustfully and powerfully, hand in hand, in praise of Him and His glory. It was a sacred moment of profound truth.

We left Haiti the next day changed. Some changes were short term, fortunately, like the effects of the dengue fever that Paul and I contracted while there, but most have been long term. In truth, our hearts were broken by some of the very things that break the heart of God and we experience some degree of healing as we serve these under-served. Over the years following our time in Haiti, all three of our daughters would write about their time in Haiti for the college entrance question “Describe an experience in your life that has profoundly changed you” and all of us have repeatedly returned to third world countries to serve. Our youngest daughter is preparing to be a career medical missionary to a third world country.

The January 12 quake, therefore, shook our hearts very personally. It’s impossible to get my mind around this morning’s statistic, that 150,000 have been officially confirmed dead, with many more still missing and presumed dead. We are so thankful that the children at the Hope for the Children of Haiti (www.hfchaiti.org) were all spared, along with Dr. Jacob and Claudette Bernard, who direct the work Marion Austin started, but the suffering shared by all, especially the survivors, is overwhelming.

It’s been very heartening to see the response of the world to this tragedy of epic proportions. Everyone should respond. In the words of Paul’s dad, Mel Friesen, “you should either send or you should go.” We’re encouraged by the work of some missions organizations known for their integrity, including The Cure, International (www.helpcurenow.org/haitirelief), Compassion International (www.compassion.org), and Hope for the Children of Haiti (HFC Facebook Page, HFC Website)
to name just a few, and would encourage you to get involved and stay involved.

***********

Whether death takes tens of thousands, or one, it’s never easy. We’re reminded that we weren’t designed for death and therefore it’s painful and grievous. That aptly describes our hearts as we received word that Jordan Crouch, 28, died very suddenly and unexpectedly as the first day of the new year came to a close. A blood clot is suspected to have taken Jordan's life, leaving his wife Staci, a very young widow, and his only child, 6-month-old Jackson, fatherless.

Jordan served at Campus by the Sea in 2000 and 2001. As a mentee of another former CBS staffer, Scott Paulson, Jordan and his pal Drew Johnson journeyed from the Pacific Northwest to this little known island in the Pacific to spend two summers serving and being discipled in Christian community. “Jordo” was one of the best—he had a great balance of depth and life. He served well and he played hard. He was loved by staff and family campers alike. He never seemed short of energy, and after putting in long days as a program staffer, he could often be found in the nursery, practicing swing dancing as a charter member of the “CBS Swing Dance Club.” He also traveled to New England to help staff the Grace Chapel Family Camp held at Geneva Point Conference Center on Lake Winnipesaukee.

His mother forwarded me this article on Jordan’s death, as well as a note in which she said, “Jordan loved your family and very much enjoyed his service at Campus by the Sea. He spoke of you often.”

JORDAN LANE “JORDO” CROUCH
December 18, 1981~January 2, 2010

Jordan Lane Crouch, “Jordo,” arrived on earth December 18, 1981 in Vancouver, Washington. He was the firstborn son of Jeff and Sharon Crouch and older brother of Jared and Jessica.
Jordan was a 1st Dan Black Belt, a 2000 graduate of Skyview High School, and a 2004 graduate of Seattle Pacific University. It was at SPU that Jordan met his best friend, Sean Haney, and his future wife, Staci Goerz.

Jordan worked as a Financial Analyst at Norris, Beggs & Simpson in Seattle from 2004 to 2009. In April 2009, Jordan accepted a position as the Mid-Hi Director for Aurora Church in Shoreline.

Jordan had a heart for the Lord and his love was evident as he spent time with “his” students.

On July 6, 2009, Jordan became the proud father of Jackson Charles Crouch. Never was a son more loved. From the time of Jackson’s birth, Jordan started every day with a special father-son bonding time. He often took Jackson to mid-hi events and Jordan was looking forward to sharing his love of the Lord with his son.

Jordan lived a lifetime and touched more people in his 28 years than most people do in an entire lifetime. Jordan departed this earth in the early morning hours of January 2, 2010 and leaves behind a broken-hearted family: his beloved wife, Staci; and infant son, Jackson; parents, Jeff and Sharon; brother, Jared; sister, Jessica; and grandparents, Carol Hogan, Del and Sherrie Fredrickson and Larry and Mary Crouch; as well as numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, and many life-long friends.

In lieu of flowers, a fund has been set up for Staci and Jackson. The family will also be establishing a scholarship at SPU in Jordan’s name at a future date. Memorial contributions may be sent in care of Sean Haney, 1144 N 198th St #E-101, Shoreline, WA 98133.

*******

Contemplating the Haiti earthquake and Jordan’s death, I was struck by the “unexpected” nature of both. When Jordan turned the calendar page on January 1, 2010, he had no idea that he would not be turning page two. And surely, January 12 began as any other day on the island of Haiti—with no thought that by day’s end, a significant number of Haitians would be entombed by the very buildings which seemingly promised protection from the elements.

These are sobering reminders that nothing is promised beyond the moment we have right now. It’s caused me to do more than a little thinking: am I ready? Of those things in my life that would be left undone, which have eternal significance?

Ponderous, deep, and important thoughts to consider as we make our way, too quickly, through the days belonging to evaporating January.

*****

A Most Remarkable Woman!

My mom at about age 18.

It began as a dream...Why not celebrate my mom’s 80th in her hometown of New Orleans, Louisiana, on her January 7 birthday? My sister Laura and I proposed the idea to Mom and she agreed that it would probably not move beyond dream stage, given my father’s mental awareness progressively dimming due to the effects of Alzheimers, and the fact that her original seven children live all over the country, presenting logistical challenges (not to mention financial ones!). It had been over 30 years since our whole family had been in Louisiana together and none of our children had ever been there with their grandparents. It seemed like a “Trip to Bountiful” moment in family history that we couldn’t let escape, so we forged ahead.

On January 7, the dream came true. Our whole original family gathered in New Orleans at Arnaud’s Restaurant to help my mom turn 80. :) That was the beginning of four days of partying...but more than that, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to connect the generations with history and heritage woven through the strands of DNA unique to this family line.
My mom’s life story reflects God’s faithfulness to a beautiful young woman who wasn’t introduced to Him personally until she was in her early twenties and already married with several children. Raised in a loving home, the youngest of four with three older brothers, my mom’s world was rocked when her mother died of complications following food poisoning. Only twelve at the time, she was shuttled off to live with an aunt who was none too pleased to have her there, so my mom’s grief was doubled that year. She was motherless, and she was unwanted. Hard times in life either make or break us, and my mom’s life is mark by her consistent choice to let difficulties make her. A deep strength was forged in the furnace of loss and grief, and that strength has served my mom well over the almost 62 years of her marriage, which spawned seven children.

She attended St. Scholasticas Academy, a boarding school in Covington, Louisiana. Not long after graduating from SSA and enrolling in college, she met and married my dad. She was 18. He was 20. And both were ill-prepared for marriage. Fortunately, they belonged to a generation that believed marriage is a covenant, so they were committed to their vows.

My parents exchange wedding vows in the Napolean Street home of her grandparents. She was 18, he was 20. (As marriage counselors, we wouldn’t have recommended it!)

She never dreamed then that she would give birth to seven children (that would’ve probably seemed like a nightmare!), or that her husband would accept a commission in the US Navy which would launch his career on a path that would eventually promote him to the rank of Rear Admiral. She never envisioned being a physically single parent for month upon month, as her Naval officer husband defended our country on the high seas, or on land - wherever he was commanded to serve. She couldn’t imagine losing her second parent--her dad--by the time she was thirty-five.

Six of the seven children have arrived by 1959. And yes, she made all of those dresses!!!

Truth be told, she never saw herself keeping house and cooking meals for seven hungry children (really, our home was not unlike a day care center, though all the attendees were her own children) day in and day out for too many years to mention.

#7, The Boy, arrived in 1961 and the rest, as they say, is history.

Who knows how the story of her life would’ve gone had she not encountered Jesus! In her mid-twenties, while stationed in Panama, my parents went to a revival meeting--and both had a life-changing experience with Christ that night. They said “Yes!” to Jesus, and that’s made all the difference.

My mom’s life verse is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). As her children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, brother, sister-in-law, and cousins gathered to honor her on January 9 at an unforgettable gala in New Orleans, tribute upon tribute was given her of the ways her life had positively impacted each. Over 80 people dismissed excuses and showed up for her. It was an expression of their love and gratitude for a lady who had loved them well through the years.

Her own children “rose up and called her blessed!” Each spoke from a verse in Proverbs 31, affirming her many gifts and gestures which uniquely qualify her to be a virtuous woman. Though memories can be kind to the unkind moments of life, the video of my mom’s life captures her love for her Lord, her husband, her children, her extended family, and any others appointed to join this cast of characters of the stage of life. It captures her compassion, her kindness, her hard work, and her choice of gratitude and joy.

The originals....oldest to youngest..over a span of 12 years...Lucy, Sue, Francene, Virginia, Melissa, Laura, and Frank, III.

And so she was duly honored...at Arnauds on Thursday night, at the Astor Crowne Plaza on Saturday, at the Black Orchid Restaurant (owned and operated by her nephew Billy and his family) on Sunday, and at Rips, a restaurant in Old Mandeville, on Monday - hosted by her dear brother Don. In between the parties, there were trips to Cafe du Monde for those matchless beignets and delicious cafe au lait, there were gatherings in my parent’s suite, aka “Party Central”, and there were tours through the neighborhoods memorable and significant to my mom’s growing up years. There were great meals and great after meals. Eighty-year-old Esther boogied down Bourbon Street to a jazz club around 10 one night...I could barely keep up with her. And that image of her will never leave my mind’s eye.

Thanks for indulging me this non-H.I.M.-related blog. Well, actually...it is H.I.M.-related, because this remarkable woman is my mom, and much of who I am today is related to who she is today and who she has been in my life. I will ever be grateful for a mom who didn’t quit (even when the temptation was really strong) and who never let us think it was because of her strength, but rather His. Now that’s a legacy that by the grace of God, I will pass on to my children.

My parents at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

And at the big party on Saturday, Jan. 9. Happy 80th, Mom!

Good-bye 2009, Welcome 2010!

And the gifts kept arriving! On Monday, the 28th, Julie’s boyfriend, Derek Johnson, arrived for a not-long-enough but much better than nothing visit with the fam. He hadn’t met Kari and Gabe yet, nor been with our family except in Uganda in May, so we welcomed him into the craziness and he adapted without missing a beat. We spent the 30th trudging through Boston in the frigid weather and introduced him to some of our favorite haunts. It really was lots of fun, even though it was very cold. We played lots of games, ate lots of good food, and enjoyed getting to know each other in ways that moments like these afford. We staged an Open House on New Year’s Eve so that many close friends could meet Gabe and Derek. When snow began falling around noon that day, we thought few would come--but we thoroughly underestimated the determination of New Englanders! Over 80 came and it was a raucous time, filled with lots of talking and laughter.

While touring downtown Boston, we warmed up with pizza at Ernestos, our fav pizza place in the North End on Salem Street.

Just before the Open House kicks off, we pose for a family plus Derek photo.

The four Friesen girls, Julie, Lisa, Kari, and Baker (now 15.5 years old!), pause for a hug before Baker leaves for her home-away-from-home with the Martis family.

The Open House ended just in time for us to get to Waltham to join Doug and Julie Macrae for a New Year’s Eve dinner at Il Cappricio Restaurant. The meal was fabulous, making it hard for anything to exceed it, but the fellowship we shared did just that. Great last meal of 2009.

Our last meal of 2009 couldn’t have been better. We joined Doug and Julie Macrae at Il Capriccio in Waltham. Fabulous!

We bring in the New Year with a toast!

Back home in time to watch the ball drop at Times Square on TV, and to toast sparkling cider at midnight. It was a perfect ending to 2009 and we acknowledged that we are all blessed beyond words. Good-bye 2009 -- Welcome 2010!

Christmas 2009: The Celebrations!

Though EVERYONE doesn't share my love for the snow, I have enough joy in it for everyone who finds none. :) The December 20th 10” snowfall fulfilled the desire expressed in the familiar strains of “I'm dreaming of a white Christmas…” and set the scene for our California children to fully experience a Currier and Ives sort of Christmas scene. Kari and Gabe arrived Christmas Eve morning (after unexpectedly overnighting in Chicago due to delayed flights) and Julie arrived that afternoon, just in time for Park Street Church’s 4 p.m. Christmas Eve service. We love that service! Dr. Hugenberger does such a great job of putting families at ease and directing everyone's focus to the birth of the Christ Child. Our tradition of meeting the Paul Amico family there continued, as did our tradition of having them back to our home for dinner. We all agreed that it was the best Christmas Eve we've shared together and after dinner, the “Happy Birthday Jesus” celebration, and a few gifts, we reluctantly sent them on their way.

We’re NOT “Skipping Christmas” in Bedford.

Lisa and Paul take on the slopes...after dark, and after the kids have gone to bed so the slopes are open. :) No waiting!

The tradition continues: meeting the Amico family at Park St. Church for Christmas Eve service.

Paul, Dawn, Wiley, Hadden, and Lucy blow out the candle on our “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake.

Christmas morning was full of joy. Long past the stage of children wakening very sleepy “Santa” parents at the crack of dawn, we have to waken our kids by 10 so we capture enough of the day! Traditions run through the season...right down to what we eat for breakfast (almond puff pastry fashioned in the shape of a wreath and mini-smokie sausages), when we read the Christmas Story (right after eating said breakfast), when we open stockings (right after reading the Christmas Story), etc. Gabe, who has only one younger brother, was rather amazed at how long we can stretch opening stockings and gifts. Boys apparently don't linger over such activities and about half way through a marathon gift opening session, he said, “My poor mom! She's missed out on so much all these years with just boys!” It was really fun for us to broaden Gabe's perspective on other ways to do Christmas.

The matching jammies tradition continues, and yes, Gabe was “left out.” I had mercy on him by not making him pink jammie pants!!!

The girls have a moment of hilarity as they opened their stockings.

Smiles all around with new Red Sox gear.

We’re enthralled by Patty Benes’ gift to us of an artistic rendering of Campus by the Sea, based on her experience with us at camp this past summer. Her piece, entitled “Heaven on Earth” is one of the most remarkable pieces of art we’ve seen, much less owned!

We eventually got dressed and prepared dinner and the house for our Christmas dinner guests. This tradition, about five years old now, just gets better every year. Though we think the meal is great, it's nothing compared to the delight of having these friends join us for the evening.

Such a great group...We ate and laughed and talked and ate more, laughed more, and talked until after 11. Besides our family, we're joined by Hank Bazijian, Felicia Collazzo, Paul and Christie Borthwick, and Linda Colleran.

Christmas continues on the 26th, when our dear friends (and H.I.M. Board members) John and Marilyn Nugent join us for the next installment of fun with chosen family. They are loved by everyone in our family and as always, the morning passed way too quickly.

John and Marilyn Nugent joined us for Christmas the morning of the 26th, much to all of our delight.

The 27th arrived and the party continued. After hearing a great sermon at Highrock, we made a quick Dunkin' Donuts stop enroute to Gillette Stadium, where we watch a phenomenal game in perfect conditions, which is more than anyone should ask for on December 27th! After the game, we joined the team in the “tent” for a great celebration dinner and then called it a day. We enjoyed every minute of this “gift” from one our our players and his wife.

Dec. 27th: after church, a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts enroute to Gillette Stadium to see the Pats prevail over the Jags.

Great time at Gillette. Perfect conditions, perfect game. Go Pats!!!

Christmas 2009: Preparations!

It actually looked a lot like Christmas until late last night (Jan. 14, for the record), when Paul and I did a marathon "take it all down and put it all away" project, which was the first moment in this new year we'd had to de-Christmas the house. Though we're not totally put back together yet, only a few dozen errant pine needles remind us that the "most wonderful time of the year" is in our rear view mirror for the next eleven months, when the thought of hauling from the attic all those boxes full of memorable stuff will have new life.

Though we're very aware that the Christmas season isn't the most happiest time of the year for so many, we felt especially blessed this year to welcome all of our children home for the holidays for the first time since Gabe and Kari were married (Feb. 2007). The preparations began in earnest after we returned from St. Louis. Lisa arrived the morning after we returned, Dec. 13, and she was our first Christmas gift. What a joy to have our adult children home for the holidays! Later that day, we returned to Logan to pick up our dear, almost sister friend Helen Challener. Helen comes every December, and as one of the most servant hearted, loving, and hysterical people we know, she adds life and laughter wherever she is. She pitched in wherever help was needed, which was a huge gift as we faced a long list of "to do's" to be accomplished in a very short window of time. We had a blast and got a lot done as well.

First project - get tree. The frigid temps motivated a quick decision, and after the fact, we all agreed it was one of the best trees we've ever had.

We played as hard as we worked. I was trying to beat the self-timer on the camera...but obviously wasn't fast enough. :)

Success...finally! It was good for many laughs. :)

In the midst of fun visits and Christmas preparations, we did work. Counseling continued up until Christmas....and we had our monthly board meeting. Our youngest HIM Board member, Julie Macrae, turned 4-0 in Dec. so we celebrated her at our Dec. 15 meeting.

Julie Macrae was surprised by our little party in her honor. Pictured here are Lisa Friesen, Richard and Kit Hendricks, Guy and Barbara Steele, Carl and Kathy Blatchley, and Helen.

We also wrapped up our Patriot's Couples Study with a celebration dinner at Doug and Julie Macrae's home Dec. 17. Richie, head chef for Il Cappricio Restaurant in Waltham, cooked a fabulous dinner, and all who attended had a great time. It was a fitting end to a great season together.

These players and their wives faithfully attended the Couples Bible Study all fall.

We are so grateful for the mentors we have, and one of my longest running mentors is Gail MacDonald. Our personal relationship began almost 25 years ago, when we were all involved with Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship, and I was pregnant with Julie! Gail has had such a significant role in my life ever since and I'm always grateful for time with her. It was a very special treat to have Lisa join us for our annual winter get together.

Lisa, Gail MacDonald, and I enjoyed a leisurely and yummy lunch together, but most of all, we loved hearing Gail's wisdom and insights on life.

Here, There, and Everywhere!

We’ve been home less than 48 hours since the photo below was taken on Nov. 21 at the 5th annual Creative Memories Scrapbooking weekend so I suppose it’s no surprise that when we arrive home from St. Louis today, pumpkins and cornucopias will greet us as we enter our home. I’m sure it’s getting old to hear my surprise at how quickly the calendar pages are turning, but it is surprising! Christmas is two weeks from tomorrow the ads remind us; only 14 shopping days left. Does anyone else feel a little panicked at that reminder? We’ve got some catching up to do when we land in Boston this afternoon.

Back to the scrapbooking weekend, Barbara Becker once again staged a memorable and productive weekend for 25 very happy ladies. This year more than any other, there was less talk and more work done around the tables, but there was still plenty of sharing and encouraging happening all weekend. It was a special treat to have Barbara Seifert bring her sister, Lisa, and her mother, Judy to the getaway. Judy had never scrapped and she inspired us all by bringing vintage albums and beginning the task of transforming them into legacy keepsakes.

I gave three short talks on the enemies of contentment: environment, entitlement, and envy. As I prepared, I was reminded of how easy it is to let the complaining culture seep into my own take on life and join the chorus of whiners. It’s easy to connect with anyone if you have a complaint! I challenged all of us to be difference-makers by choosing gratitude and contentment every day.

Honestly, that wasn’t a very difficult assignment that weekend as we enjoyed thoughtful gifts from Barbara throughout the weekend, time to work on our projects, and the joy of being in Christian community. What a delight to be a part of this unique retreat.

The ladies take a break from their hard work scrapbooking to enjoy a wonderful dinner at the Inn.

Barbara Becker is the hostess for the weekend and as always, she made everyone feel very cared for and loved.

Less than 24 hours after the scrapbooking conference ended, Paul and I boarded a flight to San Diego for a week of mostly R and R over the Thanksgiving holiday. Lisa had arrived on Saturday, so we joined her and Julie in Poway for several days prior to heading to the Friesen Family Farm in Pixley, California. We so enjoyed hanging with the girls and experiencing Julie’s world at Physical Therapy School. Lis and I attended her anatomy class and my comment afterwards was, “I thought he was supposed to teach in English.” His vocabulary included very few words familiar to my ears! My respect and admiration for what Julie is tackling increased significantly.

We were fortunate to host a gathering at Julie’s home-away-from-home, honoring my sister-in-law Hanya who hit the 5-0 mark that week. Fun times!

We arrived at the farm late Wednesday night, and it was a true “homecoming.” Paul and I spent many holidays at the farm (where he grew up) during the first almost 20 years of our marriage and it was so familiar and comfortable to return. Paul’s oldest sister, Sandy, and her husband Wayne were well prepared for the invasion, so our days there were relaxing and so enjoyable. The next generation was well represented with numerous nieces and nephews and four great-nieces and nephews. Two of them were less than three months old. Our hearts are so full of gratitude as we see the mantle of faith being carried on so faithfully and we so loved being with these “kids” who have grown up so well and are living God-honoring lives. I really don’t think it gets much better than that.

Just before Thanksgiving dinner is served, we pause for an incomplete family photo.

Lisa and Julie with cousin Katie Herbst; these three were roommates in San Luis Obispo for two years and were so happy to be together again.

Besides lots of great food (which did not include the pumpkin pies I made, which lacked only one ingredient . . . the sugar :( ), we played the traditional family football game, harvested the walnut crop, had family devotions which included a family history lesson, saw the movie Blindside together (and highly recommend it), and hit a few Black Friday sales. It was with sadness that we packed up the car and headed south Saturday a.m. There never is enough time.

Our spirits were lifted by a wonderful couple of hours spent with David and Cherylyn Hegg in Santa Clarita around noon as we made our way south. We were most eager to see them in their new home and church, Grace Baptist Church. After a yummy brunch prepared by Cherylyn, we toured the church and were on our way. The Heggs are not just ministry partners; they’re dear friends and we were thrilled to reconnect with them.

David and Cherlyn Hegg welcomed us into their home in Santa Clarita as we drove south.

We rounded out that Saturday with two more visits: afternoon tea with Wendy Turney and her daughter Sara and her family, followed by dinner with our dear friend Wendy Offield and her son, Calen, and his fiance Amber. Paul will be marrying Calen and Amber in September, so it was really good to spend some time with them over a fabulous dinner prepared by Amber. It was such a good day of celebrating “chosen family” friendships.

Our next few days with Julie were relaxing and productive for “quiet” activities: reading, writing, and catching up. Just what the doctor ordered! Home on a red-eye, in time for 14 hours of counseling between Wednesday early afternoon and Thursday afternoon, and then the Patriot study Thursday night. Out first thing Friday for Charlotte, North Carolina. No wonder it feels like we’re never home anymore!!

Our weekend in Charlotte was delightful in every way as we plunged into the new world of Dan and Susan Yardley and their kids. We’ve journeyed with the Yardleys for many years now, all of which have been at close distance until last October when they moved to Charlotte. As members of the H.I.M. Board and close personal friends, we were very eager to see their new life. Every moment with them was a joy, from attending an uplifting Christmas concert featuring their well-known jazz piano teacher, to watching the three older Yardley kids each play basketball on Saturday; from playing a very fun game revolving around chocolate fondue to holding a cinnamon roll baking clinic, we were heartened by the commitment of the entire family to live together in Christlikeness.

From there we flew to St. Louis for our annual visit with Grant and Emily Williams and their three lovely daughters. They also are committed to honoring God in their home, and our time with them provided sweet fellowship and great joy. We are so thankful that both of these families are so authentically pursuing Christ and living for Him both inside and outside their homes. God is using them as salt and light in their communities which fleshes out our belief that the most effective tools of evangelism we have are found in our homes: healthy, vital marriages and families. We returned home full of thanksgiving for these two precious families.

Dan, James, Joe, Susan, Liz and Timmy Yardley pose with us after the concert. Their newly adopted daughter Abigail Ha-Bin was home entertaining her babysitter. :)

What fun to watch Sarah Elizabeth (aka “Elephant”) perform with her class! Grant, Emily, Meegan, and Madeline also enjoyed the show.

We flew home the 11th in time for the Patriot’s Bible Study and were all amazed that our study season is almost over. We’ve had a faithful, engaged group of 8-12 couples all fall and are so thankful for the opportunity to encourage spiritual growth in this very special group of people.

The pumpkins and cornucopias are now safely stored in the attic for another year and yes, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Blessings on you during this season of Advent.

Sunset on the Cape during the scrapbooking weekend...definitely put our very finite creativity in perspective!!

Sacred Weekend

It started as a “what are the chances” vision when Paul suggested we invite Gary Thomas to do a marriage seminar in New England. Several years ago, we were introduced to his books Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting, and Gary Thomas shot to the top of our list of recommended authors whose focus is marriage and family. His message resonated with our hearts at the deepest level and we loved the articulation and honesty with which he presented Biblical truths with reckless abandon of political correctness.

But great authors are not always great speakers, so on faith, we issued the invitation to him to speak. We were at least mildly surprised when he responded enthusiastically to our invitation, explaining that New England was unchartered speaking territory for him and that he’d love to have the opportunity to do more than run the Boston Marathon in New England. So we sealed the deal.

And then we heard him speak.

Paul and I were workshop presenters at the annual Pro Athletes Outreach (NFL) conference in February ‘09 and were thrilled to see that Gary Thomas was the keynote speaker. We were captivated by his talks. He was practical, profound, and provocative in an engaging manner and our expectations regarding the potential impact of him coming to New England increased.

The planning and preparing began and Paul’s vision took shape. Why not bless local pastors with a getaway night with their spouse and treat them not only to dinner and an overnight at a great hotel, but give them an audience with Gary Thomas himself? Our H.I.M. Board got “on board” with the idea, and board member Carl Blatchley and his wife Cathy began contacting pastors and extending the invitation, along with a complimentary copy of Sacred Marriage.

And it happened. An intimate gathering of 80 people experienced a night to remember on Friday the 13th as they were fed physically and spiritually at the Peabody Marriott. A great meal was followed by worship led by Danny and Rayna Oertli, and then the evening culminated with an hour-long encouraging and challenging talk by Gary. One pastor wrote:

“I thought I died and went to heaven this past weekend. What a blessing to the body of Christ! That was just off the charts in terms of ministry and encouragement and in offering hope and bringing couples back to each other and . . . you don’t have time to read it all! You bless me. You bless my wife. Be encouraged in all that you do for the kingdom. God is using you to change lives for eternity.”

Paul welcomed the pastors and their wives at the “pastors only” event Friday night and briefly explained H.I.M.’s vision for partnering with local churches.

Gary Thomas spoke right to the hearts of the couples in attendance.

At the end of the evening, the ministry couples enjoyed interacting with one another...briefly!

Another pastor wrote:

“I wanted to say thank you again for including us in the pastors dinner and overnight. As I noted in our evaluation, we found Gary Thomas to be a great source of wisdom and inspiration. A source which we’ll mine further and recommend broadly. This retreat came in a season when my wife and I are giving more attention to how our marriage is doing, as opposed to how everybody else’s marriage is doing, so we especially felt God’s touch in all of it.”

Friday’s pastors event was followed by a packed out all-day seminar on Saturday. In spite of heavy rain, over 500 people filled the fabulous sanctuary at Calvary Christian Church in Lynnfield, and the day was off and running.

It couldn’t have been a better day.

Gary Thomas delivered four inspired talks that were anything but “run of the mill.” Throughout the day, he developed the tag line of his Sacred Marriage book, which reads “What if God designed marriage to make you holy more than happy?” He challenged us to exchange the cultural message that “marriage is about me and my happiness” for the counter-cultural Biblical message that “marriage is about God and His design.” A gifted story teller as well as a prophetic teacher, Gary effectively communicated a compelling case for allowing God to use marriage as a vehicle for personal sanctification.

Gary was extremely well received by the over 500 conferees.

Besides Gary’s teaching, worship was lead by Danny and Rayna Oertli, whose music has worked its way into many New England hearts over the past few years. Workshops were also offered in the afternoon, giving practical handles on a number of areas specific to marriage.

Danny Oertli touched many with his original song, “Would you marry me again?” as he wrapped up the conference.

Jim and Sue Martis served as the event coordinators and did a thorough and excellent job. They also catered the lunch, launching their new business “MJM Catering.” Their team of volunteers came through in every area, from parking to making lunches, to posting signs, to tending book tables. Barbara Steele did all of the printed material for the conference as well as registration, and as always, did an “above and beyond” job. Allison Nash contributed her creative artistry with stage and foyer decorations. The team helped the day run smoothly and well, which facilitated the program and set the stage for the spirit of God to work.

Volunteers cheerfully prepared lunches for 500.

“Big Jim” Martis directed the catering operation, and successfully fed the “multitudes” efficiently in a short period of time.

Barbara Steele handles registration with a smile.

Evaluations confirmed that God had indeed used the day to further His kingdom purposes in the lives of many married couples. It gave us great personal joy to see the broad spectrum of couples in attendance, from those whose marriages have really struggled in the past and who are on more solid ground now, to those whose already strong marriages were reinforced. We feel confident that God did a work that Saturday which will have ongoing impact in the months and years ahead. More than ever, we believe that God wants to change the world...one marriage at a time. Saturday’s conference contributed to building into those marriages in a big way. All praise is His!

The Great Race

I wasn’t quite fully recovered from the red-eye home from Hawaii, but after we spoke at Grace Chapel’s Mom to Mom on the morning of November 5th and at the Patriot’s Couple’s Study that evening, I flew out early Friday morning (November 6) to fulfill the biggest physical challenge I’ve attempted since giving birth.

It all began a year ago, when I stood at the finish line of the Outer Banks (OBX) half-marathon, cheering Lisa on as she finished pounding out 13.1 miles in 1 hour and 53 minutes. In the ensuing celebration, I mentioned how being there stirred the memories of the last 10K I had run, 27 years earlier, with her in utero. She immediately suggested that we run together next year—and it sounded harmless enough at the time.

Many conversations happened over the next months, but registering for the race in late August converted it from a possibility to a reality. My first training run was Sept. 15, after returning home from a very full summer. Knowing I was already a month behind suggested training programs, I had many internal conversations regarding the feasibility of being ready to run 13.1 miles in 7.5 weeks, but I banked on my daily hiking and swimming all summer to have laid a strong enough foundation to support the endeavor.

And so I ran. I pushed through the fears, the pain, the fatigued muscles, and the breathlessness. I drank in encouragement and I ignored the few who upon hearing of my goal and of my shortened training period expressed doubt or incredulity. I fought hard to win the constant mental battles, which regularly proffered a litany of reasons to not do what I was attempting to do.

Week by week my mileage increased. At the end of week one, I was running 2.5 miles. Week two, I hit 3 miles. Week three, 3.5 miles. Week four, 5 miles. Week five, 7 miles. Week six, 7 miles. Week seven, 8 miles. And my last run in Kauai was 9.5 miles.

At times, I felt like giving up or throwing up. But I kept on because 1) I had made a commitment, 2) I had paid the non-refundable race fees, and 3) I was learning a great deal about myself.

Part of the reason I said “yes” to Lisa was because I have become increasingly aware that the older I get, the easier it is to shy away from doing “hard things.” Why do it if it’s going to hurt or push me out of my comfort zone? This attitude shows up in all different places besides the physical. Memorizing scripture is much harder than it used to be, so why bother? Eating healthfully takes more time than not, so why not choose the path of least resistance? I could see that the adage “use it or lose it” was more than just a catchy phrase, and didn’t want it to describe my life.

And so I had something important to prove to myself. I wanted to see if I had the mental toughness to push myself to do something I secretly wasn’t really sure I could do. I wanted to see if I had the physical stamina to do something I’d never done. I wanted to see if I had the character to fulfill my commitment, assuming it was physically prudent.

The day of the race (Nov. 8) arrived. Very little sleep and a great deal of travel preceded it, so I went to bed Saturday night expecting deep, renewing sleep—and experienced fitful, anxiety-ridden, non-sleep instead. The recurring theme was you’ve never run 13 miles before . . . what if you can’t do it? I knew that I had the option of walking if the running became too much, but somehow that didn’t seem like how I wanted to accomplish the goal.

At 5 a.m. Sunday, the alarm went off, and I think it wakened me, which means I must have fallen asleep sometime after 2 a.m.—the last time I saw the bright red digital numbers on the alarm clock. A half a multi-grain bagel with peanut butter and sliced bananas was our chosen fuel, and Gatorade washed it all down. We dressed carefully in our matching running outfits (sweet Lisa...), and off we went to the starting line, joining about 4000 other runners. Thankfully, the weather conditions were perfect.

Just before the race started, we snagged a fellow runner to snap this shot.

And then we were off and running. I had trained using my iPod, listening to David Swaim sermons and Danny Oertli’s music. I offered to use my iPod during the race, but Lisa assured me we’d talk the whole way. I countered with “You may talk the whole way, but I will be silent.” Talking is an non-essential use of breath while running, in my opinion.

So she talked and ran while I ran. And ran. Up through mile 4, I felt great. Nothing bothered me, and we were keeping a good 10-minute/mile pace. Just after passing mile 4, I hit the first little wall—when I did the math and realized that I still had 9 miles to go, which was the longest I had run prior to that day. That thought panicked me for a bit, but I got over it. At mile 6, we slurped down a pack of “energy goo” and I almost threw up. Having never had that food substitute before, I wasn’t really prepared for the texture of it, and found it rather disgusting. Fortunately, it didn’t slow me down.

At mile 11, the completely flat course hits its only incline, which is about 1/4 of a mile up and over a bridge leading to Manteo. That about did me in, but we continued to press on.

Surprisingly, the last mile was the hardest for me. Though I was thoroughly blessed to have no blisters, side aches, or cramping, my legs suddenly felt like lead weights—and I toyed with the idea of not being able to finish. A mental argument followed, which got me 1/2 mile closer to the finish line, and the last 1/2 mile was pure determination over all else. I was as amazed as anyone to finish the race in 2 hours, 37 minutes (12-minute miles).

Minutes after crossing the finish line, Lisa and I are all smiles.

Wow! After a year of thinking about it, and almost two months of training for it, the race was over. It was a great experience on so many levels. It took awhile for me to believe that we had actually done it. I can’t imagine doing it without Lisa, who sacrificed so much to help me accomplish the goal. Not only did she post her slowest half-marathon, but she TALKED for 13.1 miles. :) She admitted afterwards that it was a challenge to keep a one-sided conversation going for 2.5 hours—and that she’s still amazed that she spent that much time with me as the “wordless wonder.”

Post race celebration: a Dunkin Donut’s stop before the drive back to Harrisonburg.

I’m so glad we did it, and will cherish the memories of my first half-marathon for a long time to come. We’re already talking about our next half-marathon—and I think Lisa’s thinking that the iPod might not be a bad idea after all. :)

We're Not in Hawaii Any Longer

Maybe it was the lack of trade winds and rainbows...or maybe it was the temps in the 40’s which hit us as we landed at Logan Airport yesterday morning, but it didn’t take us long to know that we’re no longer in Hawaii. As waterfalls and sunshine were replaced by lingering and gorgeous fall colors and crisp autumnal sights and smells, we were reminded that’s God’s creative powers and expressions are immense and diverse and that beauty comes in many different shapes and sizes. It’s good to be home.

But it was very good to be there. We had ten wonderfully refreshing days in Hawaii and are so grateful for the change of pace and scenery this time away provided for us. We arrived in Honolulu on the island of Oahu Sunday afternoon, Oct. 25, and our first four days were spent enjoying the hospitality of our dear friends Patrick and Dorcas Wong. Our relationship with them spans almost a decade, as they were brought into our lives by their precious children and our heart friends and chosen family, Wai and Elaine Wong. They were so gracious to us, allowing us the freedom to spend the days as we wished. They were available, but not demanding, and we shared many special moments with them over wonderful meals.

Hours after landing in Honolulu, we were feted by Patrick and Dorcas Wong with leis and a delicious homemade Chinese dinner.

The next morning, Patrick experienced the delight of supplementing his daily “soup rice” with Paul’s “breakfast biscuits” (aka: chocolate chip cookies).

Paul and I spent the days hiking, swimming, and exploring. There is so much natural “therapy” in being outdoors and drinking in the beauty of creation and we took full advantage of the matchless beauty of this Hawaiian island. We also enjoyed Shave Ice, the swap meet at Aloha Stadium, shopping in China Town (with the help of Patrick and Dorcas), and having dinner with our dear friends Nat and Gail Potter before we flew off to Kauai Thursday a.m. Good days.

We hiked to “Makapu’u Lighthouse” and had spectacular views of the breathtaking coastline of Oahu’s eastern side.

Our evening with Nat and Gail Potter and their daughter Abby and her husband Mike was delightful as always, even though our planned appointment with the sunset was foiled by a thick cloud cover. That didn’t dim the joy of reconnecting with dear friends.

One last meal with the Wongs, including Grandmother, provided food for the stomach as well as food for the soul. Our conversations with Patrick and Dorcas are always full of insights and wisdom.

We met up with our dear friend, Wendy Turney, in Kauai, Thursday, for the beginning of an adventure-filled week together.

Having never been to Kauai before, we were delighted when our friend Wendy Turney offered her time share to us for the week. We coerced her into joining us as Chief Cook and Tour Guide (since she knows much of Kauai like the back of her hand) and the three of us had a fabulous week together.

It as almost exactly a year ago that I recorded in our blog that Wendy’s husband, John, had lost his relentless battle with melanoma on Nov. 10, and this was our first extended visit with Wendy since John’s home going. It was a gift to be able to process so much with her in our days together, but all of us were painfully aware of his absence. Death is never easy and grief becomes a constant companion with such a catastrophic loss.

With memories of John deep in our hearts, we discovered the unique beauty of Kauai under the expert guidance of Wendy. We saw rainbows, waterfalls, and endless stretches of white sand beaches. We snorkeled in calm-ish water, boogie-boarded in 3-4 foot seas, and stood on bluffs overlooking pounding surf and crashing 10-12 foot waves. We ate fresh mangoes, bananas, pineapple, and papaya daily, along with fabulous culinary creations a la Wendy for dinner each night. We shopped at local Farmer’s Markets, a yard sale or two, and Costco. We rested, read, and wrote...at least a little. Each day was full of delight and wonder as we experienced God through His incredible creation.

Paul takes on the waves at Brenecke Beach, using a boogie board we recycled from someone’s trash offerings. :)

No, that’s not Tarzan. Paul courageously tries the rope swing at Kipu Falls...

...and successfully drops into the water below. I happily photographed.

Our day on the North Shore allowed us to enjoy Anini Beach...the only swimmable one that day due to very stormy seas further on.

Several nights in a row, we “put the turtles to bed” after being given time and location of their sleeping chambers. This was one of the highest lights of the trip.

Watching the sunset at “Spouting Horn” was a perfect ending to the day.

Our last full day, “liquid pineapple juice” (as my mom would say) poured from the sky, but made way for this beautiful rainbow the morning we left.

We flew home Wednesday, the 4th, arriving in Boston on Thursday, the 5th. We returned a little bit browner, a little more rested, and a lot more renewed because of these great days in “paradise.” We did have time to shower before we spoke to the Mom to Mom group at Grace Chapel at 9:30 that morning...and caught a little nap before doing the Patriot’s study that evening.

So we’re back at it—and thankful for the opportunities and very excited for the Gary Thomas “Sacred Marriage” conference being held Nov. 14. Our batteries are recharged and our vision is refocused.

Words? I don’t think so.

Aloha!

Aloha! We’re en route to a much needed and very exciting ten day vacation/writing break in Hawaii. Just writing that makes my heart beat faster. :) We were last in the islands five years ago, and few places we’ve been have provided better relaxation and disengagement for us than these beautiful islands in the Pacific.

We will be reminded of the vastness and spectrum of the creativity of God when we land in Hawaii’s 80 degree temps and fair tradewinds, especially when we reflect that last Sunday, we were at Gillette Stadium for the first “snow bowl” of the season.

But first: we were honored to be seminar presenters at Iron Sharpens Iron’s first women’s conference on Saturday, October 17. The 3300-women event sold out within weeks of registrations opening, underscoring the need for such a conference. We loved being a part of it! Keynote speakers Elizabeth George and Shaunti Feldhahn were inspirational to hear, and the worship leader, Anthony Evans, helped us experience God. We were asked to present on Raising a Trailblazer: Rite-of-Passage Trail Markers for your Set-Apart Teens and we spoke to a packed-out room of moms of teens wanting encouragement for the challenging journey through adolescence. Women are so responsive! They laughed, cried, took notes, asked questions, and hung around to talk. They encouraged us. They stopped by the book table and spoke with us further. They bought books. And did I say they talked to us? We had a wonderful day and were so thankful for the opportunity. It was capped by a lovely dinner out with the other speakers, and we so enjoyed exchanging ideas with those driven by some of the same passions we’re driven by.

Paul and I had many stimulating conversations with women who stopped by the H.I.M. book table at the Iron Sharpens Iron women’s conference.

The conference was packed with 3300 women, eager to worship and to be taught.

Following the ISI conference, early on Sunday the 18th of October, we headed back to Massachusetts to meet up with friends from California, first to attend church together and then to cheer the Patriots on to victory at Gillette Stadium. Driving in the pouring rain, we were comforted by reports that by game time at 4:15 pm, temperatures would be around 46 and the rain would dissipate to “light.” Our friends had gotten both tickets for the game as well as indoor tailgating tickets, so after church, we bundled up and arrived in the still-pouring rain to enjoy a yummy spread of football food in the big white Dana-Farber tent. We held on to the hopeful meteorologist’s report, and cast increasingly wary looks through the glass doors as game time approached. The “46-degree dissipating rain” promise turned into snow and 34 degrees by the start of the game as the N’oreaster ripped through the area, reminding us once again that there are still many things we can’t know or control.

Truth be told, I’d rather have snow any day than pouring rain at an open-to-the-elements stadium, so no real complaints here. And yes, we stayed until the “bitter” end of the phenomenal Patriot’s rout of the Titans, 59-0. It’s pretty fun to be part of such unusual and unexpected moments, and we were with the right people for such a time. Mike and Deni Willeford are big sports fan and great sports and we had a wonderful time with them.

Here we are at Gillette with Mike and Deni Willeford, friends from California who weathered the exciting Patriot’s win with us. They were in New England to see the fall colors—but the last color they expected to see was white. :)

Did you know that I love snow??

We had at least 2" of snow fall on us during the game, and honestly - the stadium looked like a giant snow globe as snow fell fast and furiously throughout the entire game.

We warmed up several hours after getting home and were none the worse for the wear. A great “carpe diem” moment.

And then Monday came, and the sun shone, the temps rose, the colors displayed, and Sunday’s weather display became a distant memory. The following day, we went apple picking for one last time in the 2009 season. It was part of our “there really are things to like about New England” intro to one of our new Patriot’s couples, Chris and Elisia Taylor, who have been transplanted here from Houston. Chris was injured during pre-season, placed on IR, and is re-habbing here. That makes it kind of hard to assimilate with people and with the area, so when they showed up to Bible Study a few weeks ago, we decided to help them love New England. We had a great afternoon at the orchard, talking, picking, and eating ice cream.

Chris and Elisia felt better about being in New England after apple picking.

Counseling and an H.I.M. Board meeting happened before I flew to Portland, Oregon, this weekend to be the keynote speaker for the third annual “Betrayal Redeemed” women’s conference sponsored by Tuff Stuff Ministries. The conference is designed to provide a place of healing for women whose husbands have betrayed the marriage covenant through infidelity, pornography, and/or other forms of sexual addiction. Resources for these often times isolated women is scarce and and safe places are few and far between.

It was an honor to speak to these courageous women, who are deeply wounded and seldom understood. Though I felt inadequate, I knew it was where God wanted me to be. And He met me there. It was during the weekend that Sandy realized that this was the 20th anniversary of Earl confessing his sexual sin to us, which was the beginning of our long and significant relationship with the Wilsons. In a June blog I recounted celebrating Earl and Sandy’s 50th anniversary which made such a statement about the power of God to restore and heal that which was so broken. Our book Restoring the Fallen was eventually born from this journey. It was so good to offer hope to these women, hope that ultimately comes only from God Himself.

The view of Mt. Hood from my plane window as we flew into Portland was breathtaking.

Sandy’s team did a beautiful job creating ambience for the conference, which hugged every woman who walked into the gym.

Sandy and I are all grins at the end of the conference, as thanksgiving and joy overflow from our hearts at the ways God met us and the rest of the women this day.

While I was in Portland, Paul was in Buffalo, where he lead a workshop for the Iron Sharpens Iron men’s conference. He had a great time, made several significant connections, and felt he was well-received. An added bonus for him was staying with our nephew Randy Clark’s wife Rachael, their new baby Rhea, their son Ryder, and visiting grandparents Wayne and Sandy Clark (Sandy is Paul’s oldest sister.) Randy was away on business, so unfortunately Paul missed seeing him.

Thinking I was meeting up with Paul in Honolulu, I almost had a heart attack when he surprised me in San Francisco as I was awaiting the flight to Hawaii—with reservations on the same flight as mine. What a great surprise!! He is a memory maker for sure.

So, after a busy fall which has included travel to California, Georgia, Connecticut, and Virginia, and weather which has included warm summery days, crisp autumnal days, and snowy wintry days, we’re thankful for this break. We are looking forward to being renewed, refreshed, and reminded that it’s not just in the doing, but also very much in the being.

Mahalo.

Fall Frolics

Is there a more breath-taking time of year than fall in New England? It’s like a royal parade of color, sights, smells, and sounds, all unique to this spectacular season. We are delighting in every day and willing them to slow down. Our finiteness looms large in the midst of such thoughts.

Besides the pageantry of the foliage, apple picking is another true delight of fall. After five years of visiting the orchards with our dear friends the Yardleys, we continued the tradition with the Martises last week since it was a bit far for the Yardleys to come from their new home in Charlotte, North Carolina. The day was perfect: crisp and cool enough to feel like fall, but warm enough to be without jackets. We picnicked, played in the hay maze, tasted and picked lots of apples, and topped it off with apple crisp a la mode. Couldn’t have been improved upon.

Matthew Martis takes the position once held by our three girls, on top of Paul’s shoulders to reach those “just out of reach” perfect apples.

Speaking of “fall,” they are awfully tempting, aren’t they? :)

We broke away from fall to go to Rome . . . Rome, Georgia, that is. Nate and Jeannie King, long time partners for Engagement Matters, have relocated to Rome and put together a four-day blitz for us in four different venues. We spoke on parenting to their Christian school, on marriage to the adult Sunday School classes at their church, again on marriage to several life community groups, and on a woman’s journey to a group from the Presbyterian Church. In addition, we toured “Winshape,” the beautiful retreat center run by Chick Fil-A and situated on the immense and gorgeous campus of Berry College. And in between times, we hung with Nate and Jeannie and their three beautiful children. It was a delightful time from beginning to end, though we hated to leave them in Georgia. We sure miss having them in these parts.

Emily, Camryn, and Drew arrive with their mom for Sunday School.

We had a stimulating conversation about effective family ministries over lunch with Nate and Jeannie and Tommy and Priscilla Overton (graduates of Gordon-Conwell) before leaving Rome.

Our final stop in Georgia allowed us to reconnect with Tom and Joan Carmody, with whom we went on our first family missions trip to Haiti in 1999.

Back home, we resumed both counseling and our Patriots' Bible Study. Attendance at the study has grown each week and are now up to 10 couples, with a great mix of veterans and new-to-the-team couples. The interaction is lively and open and the spirit is great. Paul’s chocolate chip cookies are at least part of the reason that the couples are so faithful. :)

This past weekend, October 9–11, we partnered with the Westfield Evangelical Free Church and Pastor David Young out in western Massachusetts. We were encouraged to hear that our invitation to speak there came after Pastor Young’s daughters received complimentary copies of Letters to my Daughters at Cedarville College last year (after Doug and Julie Macrae spoke in chapel and gave each student a copy of the book.) They called their dad, raving about the book and suggested he invite us to speak. :) What a privilege it was to link arms with him. The church is burgeoning and there was a palpable spirit of eagerness and joy in the body. We did a parenting seminar on Saturday morning, a "Couples' Night Out" on Saturday evening, preached at both services Sunday morning, and in between spoke to their junior and senior high groups on sexual purity. It was full and good.

Parents arrived Saturday a.m., eager to hear some tips on parenting.

Paul took me straight from Westfield to Logan Sunday afternoon to fly to my folks’ home for a couple of days. The visits are never long enough, but it’s always so good to have any time with them. We drove down to Harrisonburg for the day on Monday, and even though we saw some gorgeous leaves along the way, the highlight of the day was seeing gorgeous Lisa. How fun for her to have her grandparents in her world! We had a great time.

Grandpa and Grammie Collins get a peek into Lisa’s world at James Madison University in Harrisonburg.

All too quickly, my days there were up and I returned in time to join Paul for our day of counseling ministry on Wednesday. As I write, we’re preparing for tonight’s Patriot’s study and then we'll drive to Connecticut tomorrow for the first “Iron Sharpens Iron” women’s conference. We’re honored to be workshop presenters on Saturday.

That’s about all the haps here. It’s time to get outside and drink in the fall beauty. Hope you can do the same.

Back in the Saddle

It was a romantic getaway which will not soon be forgotten. Though a bit bleary eyed and tired from the red-eye back from San Diego on Sept. 5, adrenaline kicked in the minute my knight in shining armor picked me up at Logan and whisked me away to a surprise destination. I love surprises! On this beautiful Sabbath, with clear blue skies and San Diego-like temperatures, I figured out about halfway there that Perkins Cove, Maine, was our destination. Hank Bazijian’s summer rental would be ours for the next few days...and a more perfect few days could hardly be found.

Paul had driven up the day before to ready everything: from placing flowers on the table and food in the fridge, to bringing our bikes, he thought of everything. And so our magical getaway was underway and I still smile to think of how special the days were.

We walked miles, in daylight and by moonlight; we rode our bikes both north and south; we bought lobster for $4.00 a pound from a local lobsterman right off the pier for dinner two nights in a row; we swam at Ogunquit beach and floated down the river as the tide was receding. We read, rested, and relaxed. We had a night at the Ogunquit Playhouse and loved seeing “Singin’ in the Rain” performed.

We did what we regularly encourage couples to do and it was reviving. It was a great exclamation point on a full and wonderful summer.

Flowers were in place when we arrived at Hank's rental. :)

Fresh lobster and fresh corn...what more could one want?

We biked to York the first day, and in the direction of Kennebunkport the second day.

We drove to the Nubble Lighthouse and its beauty took our breath away.

We returned to a full counseling schedule on the 9th and we’ve been back at it since. We spoke at BCEC’s Mom to Mom program on Friday night, the 11th, and were encouraged not just by the turn out of women, but of their husbands as well. The rainy, raw night did not hinder them from coming. It was so good to see how God is using Fannie Ng’s leadership in that ministry.

The silver lining of Friday night’s rain-out at Fenway was getting to go to the rescheduled game Sunday late afternoon with Paul and Dawn Amico. Any time is a good time at Fenway, but it's extra sweet when we win—and that night, we completed a sweep of the Tampa Bay Rays. Perfect weather, perfect shut-out, perfect free parking. :) Hard to improve on!

Paul and Dawn Amico joined us at Fenway for a great night of baseball.

The stacks in our house indicate that it’s been a long time since we’ve been home long enough to really get things in order, so whenever we haven't been counseling, speaking, or otherwise engaged, we’ve been sorting, cleaning, and organizing. Progress is being made, but I'm pretty sure we’ll never completely catch up. The relentless parade of paper continues.

While I order the inside of the house, Paul is working hard on the outside. In addition to doing a lot of yard clean-up, we’ve had our house re-roofed—all of which has prompted “are you moving?” questions from our neighbors. We've assured them we're not that we know of...but that the jobs needed to be done. We were very impressed by the roofing job done by Arthur Fletcher and his team; they were neat, efficient, and quick.

We spent a very fun evening with Guy and Barbara Steele at “Tech Squares” - MIT’s version of square dancing. Far from the “Oh, Johnny, Oh Johnny Oh” square dancing of family camp, Tech Squares is very....MIT-ish. Serious. Exacting. Calculated. And very friendly and supportive. We really did enjoy the evening, but at least one of us is very glad that our schedule precludes us making a weekly commitment to the club. :)

We also launched our tenth season of working with the Patriot couples Bible study on Sept. 17 and are so thankful for the core of Christian couples left on the team after a significant exodus of a number of faithful attendees from past seasons. We were very sad to see David and Kassidy Thomas, Heath and Beth Ann Evans, Billy and Tamika Yates, Wesley and Katie Britt, and Matt and Lauren Cassel all leave the team since last season, but we've had a strong showing the first two weeks of the study.

Out to California we flew for a multipurpose trip. The first big event was attending the very God-honoring wedding of Nathan Aleman and Julie Younger. Nathan grew up coming to Family Camp at Campus by the Sea and eventually served on staff for numerous summers both at CBS and in New Hampshire. It was a joy to celebrate their union and to have a reunion with many CBS friends. The best reunion was of our own family as all our kids gathered to honor Nathan and Julie.

Many CBS friends gathered to celebrate Nathan and Julie's wedding.

Kari, Gabe, Julie, and Lisa enjoyed all being together for the first time since last Thanksgiving.

Bright and early Sunday morning, we drove down to Monterey and had the privilege of preaching at Stone Harbor Church. Lead pastor Johnny Potter and his wife Lori are our best friends from our seminary days at Gordon-Conwell and we’re always delighted to have opportunities to partner with them. Besides the morning services, Virginia spoke at a women’s brunch, Paul spoke at a men’s meeting, and we both spoke Sunday night to a gathering on the subject of “when life doesn’t go the way you thought it would.” Monday we continued serving by meeting with a ministry team to discuss family and marriage ministry, and that night we spoke for a couples'event. Our time was full and very good. Between all that speaking, Lori and I managed to squeeze in several great walks.

Johnny and Lori Potter and Suzanne and David Overton labor faithfully together at Stone Harbor Church.

Our final ministry opportunity on this trip came Tuesday night at Jesuit High in Carmichael, California, when we addressed their parents’ forum. What an honor to address the parents of this very prestigious all boys Catholic high school. We spoke on “Raising Sons with Conviction and Character” to a full room and seemed to be appreciated and well-received. We challenged them to set the bar for their sons to be "men of standing" rather than submit to the “boys will be boys” mentality that is so pervasive. Some good questions followed our presentation which made it even more relative to their specific concerns. We felt God really met us in the evening.

The question and answer period following our talk at Jesuit High was lively.

The Pat Barr and Don Padilla families are on the leadership team for the parents' forum at Jesuit High (and also happen to be dear friends through Campus by the Sea.)

After spending our last night at the warm and wonderful “B and B” hosted by Kari and Gabe, we made our way back to Boston Wednesday, the 23rd, on a non-stop day flight, which really provided an office in the sky. It was really a nice change from our typical economy flights with multiple stops and red-eyes.

We’ve just completed our first Engagement Matters weekend of the 2009-2010 “season.” Though the turn-out was small, the weekend was great. We had very personal interaction with each of the couples and they expressed great appreciation for the helpful content of the program. In addition to EM, we spoke at Our Savior Lutheran Church in Topsfield on Saturday night and had a wonderful time with their sincere and enthusiastic congregation. Especially as marriages continue to be challenged, our audiences seem very hungry to be fed encouragement and good teaching specific to marriage.

And so our passion grows. Godly, Christian marriages are so potent and effective in impacting this world for Christ. And crumbling Christian marriages do incalculable damage to the cause of Christ. We just want to be used to help make a difference for His sake.

Safely in San Diego

This spectacular moment was captured last night in Poway as the sun was setting in the west and the moon was rising in the east.

Checking in from Poway, California, where Julie and I rolled in Monday afternoon after putting 3800 miles on her car driving from Boston. What a great trip!! My last entry was written as we were leaving Harrisonburg after a sweet visit with Lisa. We packed in plenty for our short visit with her...including having ice cream with some of her friends at Klein's, swimming at the community pool, and having a few great meals. Always love time with her. Wednesday, August 26, at 8 a.m. we hit the road in earnest for the west coast.

Breakfast of homemade granola, freshly picked in New Hampshire blueberries, freshly bought from Costco peaches, and yogurt started our day off right!

Day 1 - Wednesday, August 26 - 980 miles, stopping in Kansas City around 10 that night, and being very grateful for clear weather and light traffic. We mainly drove...and talked, sang, enjoyed the scenery, and made only three brief stops.

Day 2 - Thursday, August 27 - 600 miles, after a "late" start of 11:30 a.m. I had coffee with a dear friend in Kansas City, we both worked out taking full advantage of our Priceline'd room at the Crown Plaza downtown, and off we went. Another gorgeous day of driving through Kansas to Colorado, stopping at 7:30 p.m. at Danny and Rayna Oertli's home. What fun to be with them! Plenty of entertainment for sure. We were so grateful for their wonderful hospitality (and especially touched that Gracie so cheerfully gave up her room for us.) On the road by 9 a.m.

Maggie performed an original cowgirl song and dance on their hot tub, showing much promise for a future in the industry.

Rayna, Grace, Jack, and Maggie on the way to school. Danny was already out, working hard to improve his golf score. I'm sure he missed being in the photo. :)

Day 3: Friday, August 28: California or bust. We left the Oertlis unsure of our goal for the day, but after we reached Ely, Nevada, around 7:30 p.m., we decided that the final leg to Sacramento was doable, so we pushed on. If we had known then what we know now, we probably would've done things differently, but ignorance is bliss (and sometimes foolish) so we drove the very dark and lonely, two-lane route 50, across the Sierra Nevada mountains at night (with the half-full moon mostly hidden behind clouds)...and prayed. "It was scary" would be an understatement...and we were acutely aware that if anything were to happen to our car, we wouldn't be found for days. So we kept praying....and were never more happy to see the gaudy lights of Reno, Nevada, around 12:30 a.m. We tiredly and thankfully pulled into Gabe and Kari's welcoming home at 3 a.m. - 19 hours and 1300 miles later. :)

Julie and I enjoyed attending BOSS (Bayside of South Sacramento) with Kari, Gabe, and Alton, even though it was 103 degrees!

It was especially fun to be reunited with two of our wonderful summer staff, Alton Green and Taylor Balian at BOSS.

We recovered over the weekend in the nurturing care and hospitality of Gabe and Kari. Great meals, great walks, and lots of talks before we headed out first thing Monday morning for the final leg of the journey. Straight down highway 5, stopping only at In-N-Out Burger for an early lunch just as we headed over the Grapevine, arriving in Poway at 3:30. Whew!! So so thankful to be here safely.

Tuesday was a recovery day. We relaxed, swam, enjoyed delicious California fresh produce, walked, and did a few errands to make sure Julie was set for school, which started Wednesday, Sept. 2.

Julie's first day at Physical Therapy School at University of Saint Augustine in San Marcos, CA.

Her first day went well and she's set for the next season of her life - 28 months getting her doctor of PT. We're so aware of God's goodness to her in many ways, including the provision of a lovely home in Poway for the next 3.5 months, which is situated within a mile of two of her best friends/lacrosse colleagues from Cal Poly.

Our exhausting summer, combined with an exhausting cross country trip, seems to have caught up with me so it's good to have a couple of days to relax and recuperate. I'm taking today and tomorrow as personal retreat days and have really enjoyed an extended quiet time today. Paul, the introvert, is doing his own recuperating in Boston and has loved mainly having the company of our dog, Baker. He hasn't been slacking, for sure, but just being alone is renewing for him. I'm looking forward to being reunited with him this weekend.

The transition from summer to fall is tinged with bitter-sweetness. We miss the daily community afforded so richly in the camp setting...and really miss our terrific staff. We find ourselves praying that as they reenter their old settings, they'll hold on to the truths they learned during their unplugged, undistracted summer away from it all. We pray that the transformation they experienced was genuine. At the same time, we look with eager anticipation at what lies ahead. Our fall is full of opportunities to impact this world for Christ and we are more passionate than ever about the cause of building into families and marriages.

Don't forget to pray for us as we continue on the frontlines. Our hope is in His steadfast love and presence, which is as constant and dependable as the rising and setting of the sun and the moon. All praise is His.

"From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised." (Psalm 113:3)

2009 Summer Ministry Finishes Well

It’s early Saturday morning, August 22, and I’m sitting in a very quiet house as the very tired staff attempt to make a deposit against their sleep deficit. The day ahead will be spent exploring Boston before entering the hallowed narrow pathways of Fenway Park to join Red Sox fans who are desperately hoping to cheer the hometown boys of summer to victory over their no-love-lost nemesis, the Yankees. This amazing thank you gift to the staff (thank you, Doug and Julie Macrae) will be the exclamation point at the end of a wonderful summer.

It came to an end yesterday morning, in Camp Berea’s gym, as Brian Dietz led us in one final rendition of “If I Were a Butterfly.” The closing session was a celebration of so many things. Nine weeks of serving together in a discipling community, seeing God work in the lives of our campers as well as in our own lives, was coming to a close. Our emotions ran the gamut from great joy as we reflected on how powerfully we had been met by God, to great sadness as we grappled with the reality that our team would be scattered come Sunday. Such is the cycle of life for every summer staff team, but it never gets easier.

The packed out family camp had many children who were eager to be on stage doing “The Butterfly Song.”

Family Camp 2 at Berea was phenomenal and we are so thankful. The people, the preaching, the program...all came together to pack a powerful and positive punch which encouraged families and marriages. Again, the almost endless testimonies at the banquet affirmed that God had indeed done a great work among us.

Jay and Liz Abramson from Valley Community Baptist Church in Avon, Connecticut, served well as our resource couple for the week. After forging a friendship with them over the past three years of speaking at their Pastors and Staff Conference, we had confidence that they would fit well with the “morphe” of H.I.M. family camps, and they did. Jay’s preaching during the morning sessions was powerfully used by God to challenge all of us and to bring several to Himself by week’s end. (MP3s of the weeks’ talks are available here.) Jay and Liz also invested in the campers by being very available and many were touched by their lives over a meal or in a side-bar conversation. It was a joy to partner with them.

Jay and Liz Abramson, Julie, Virginia and Paul Friesen pause together on the dock at Camp Berea and give thanks for a wonderful week.

God blessed us with perfect lake weather (which translated means hot, especially for any who weren’t perched on the water’s edge), so recreational opportunities were fully exploited. The waterfront was the most popular destination, with constant activity on the blob, the Orbit, and the raft. Some did make it to the rifle range and archery, and the two softball games organized by none other than commissioner Skip Jarvis were enjoyed by many. The slip-n-slide was the destination of choice Wednesday afternoon. Sculptered Rocks was a favorite cooling off spot on Tuesday, the “family day off.” The staff used that day for refreshment and recreation by hiking up to Lonesome Lake and enjoying a dip in the cool-enough-water-to-be-refreshing. And the traditional corn roast Wednesday night was as popular for night swimming as it was for corn. Fun was had by all.

The program staff enjoy a day out of camp by hiking to Lonesome Lake and taking a dip.

The highlight at the waterfront, however, topping even the highest blob launch, was the baptism of Billy Fredericks. Billy placed his trust in Christ last fall and chose to be baptized at Camp Berea, in Newfound Lake, at the end of family camp. Many of the family campers gathered on the shore to witness this sacred, symbolic ceremony and to share the joy felt by Billy and his family, all of whom are in their first year of journeying with Christ.

Paul and Billy emerge from the baptism waters as the family of God witnessed his public profession of faith.

Just when you think it couldn’t get any better than that, Jay Abramson, who through his teaching had been calling people to Christ all week, had the privilege of praying with Dan and Cara to receive Christ after the banquet ended Thursday night. There was rejoicing not only in heaven, but throughout Camp Berea when the news was shared Friday morning at the closing session.

As is true anywhere in life, as wonderful as the overall experience of family camp was, the reality of grief and loss was among us as well. Leon and Lorna Tyrrell’s family and extended family gathered at family camp (continuing a long-standing tradition) to celebrate the ebbing life of their precious 7-year-old daughter, Naomi. Naomi was diagnosed with “Niemann Pick Disease Type C” five years ago and the initial prognosis was that she’d not live past 5. Naomi turned 7 at camp on Tuesday and was feted by the phenomenally creative staff with a dramatic and costumed performance of her favorite song, “If I Were a Butterfly.” Though there were many tears in the room as Naomi was so honored, just a huge smile adorned Naomi’s face throughout the tribute. Her presence in camp touched everyone and reminded us that life on earth is but a vapor and a dress rehearsal for heaven.

3-month-old Zemira Brooks and Naomi have a sweet moment together on the last night of camp.

Friday morning came all too soon. At our final staff meeting of the summer of 2009, we reflected on God’s amazing grace shown to us all summer long. It’s hard to put words around what we experienced and how we experienced God, but we’re all dispersing to our unique venues different than we were in the middle of June. “Transformed” was the theme of the summer, and we’d all agree that to some degree, that word is an apt descriptor what happened to each of us as a result of serving and living together in Christian community for over two months. “How great is our God!”

Leaving Camp Berea in our rear view mirrors, we headed south for some celebrating. Doug and Julie Macrae graciously and generously hosted the entire staff for a lobster bake, complete with homemade fish chowder, fresh corn on the cob, surf and turf, and fresh apple crisp. From beginning to end, it was a “foodie’s” dream come true and thoroughly enjoyed by all. Saturday was spent touring Boston followed by the 14-1 romp over the Yankees at Fenway. Doesn’t get any better than that!

The staff enjoy an evening of pool fun and fine dining at the Macraes’ Weston home.

I’m finishing this blog from Harrisonburg, Virginia, in Lisa’s apartment. Julie and I left Saturday (hence missing out on all the Boston fun) to begin our road trip, making it to my folks’ home in Alexandria, Virginia, around 9 p.m. After a lovely Sunday with them and with my sister Laura and her husband David, we arrived here Monday night in time for dinner. Early tomorrow morning, we’ll set out for California, hopefully arriving at Kari and Gabe’s house in Sacramento by Saturday night. Pray for us!

So it’s with great thanksgiving that I write this last blog of the summer ministry. We are more than grateful and more aware than ever of the amazing grace of God which transforms our lives. We’ll savor the memories of this summer for years to come and for all eternity, really. What a joy and a privilege to be part of something so potent and purpose driven. We are blessed.

Reporting from H.I.M. Berea Family Camp

Paul leads Family Camp 1 in mixers the first night.

On my parent’s 61st wedding anniversary, we check in from Camp Berea on Newfound Lake in Hebron, New Hampshire, where we have launched our eighth and final family camp for the 2009 season. Wow! It’s been intense, but so good. We are really thankful.

How grateful we are for the legacy of my parent's marriage:
61 years on August 16.

The few days we had between our seven-week stint at Campus by the Sea ending and our H.I.M. family camps beginning were fairly low-key. We prepared for camp, got haircuts, and prepared to have our 14 staff members from CBS arrive. The pace was a bit slower and we caught up a little on sleep. It was a good break.

Our staff arrived Friday night, August 7, all on time and all luggage in tow. After a hearty brunch featuring Paul’s waffles on Saturday morning, we made the family camp name tags, stuffed an H.I.M. mailing, and piled into cars to drive to camp.

Our staff are ready to go!

This is our 4th year of partnering with Camp Berea on family camp and we are so grateful for a mutually beneficial relationship with them. They love what we do and we love what they do, so it works well.

As was true at CBS, the two weeks of camp here were packed full. We see God’s hand of mercy in that, since many camps are struggling with low numbers this summer.

The campers poured in starting around 3 p.m. on Saturday, August 8, so full of expectation and excitement—and they left six days later, testifying that God had more than met them. Praise Him!

David Swaim, senior pastor of Highrock Church in Arlington, Massachusetts, was our speaker for the week. Since we attend his church when we’re in town, we expected that he would do a great job teaching. We just didn’t know HOW great a job he would do, but he “knocked it out of the park” as they say. His clear, passionate teaching was deeply appreciated and seemed to stir the pot for many. We were delighted to have him and his wife Michelle, along with their three children, Noah, Zoe, and Taylor, in camp with us, and we expect our partnership will continue in the years to come.

We have an incredible staff gathered; many from California, but some great “home-grown New Englanders” as well. Brian and Heather Dietz continue to be with us, leading in worship and directing the Junior and Senior High program. Their daughters, Abby and Lydia, bring great joy and entertainment to the rest of the staff. David and Krista Hart are serving here as Children’s Program Directors as they did at CBS, much to our delight. And having our own Julie here serving on the Junior and Senior High staff is a great joy to our hearts and souls. She’s also a great addition to that team.

One of the highlights of family camp 1 was honoring Dave and Ellie Greenhalgh's 40th anniversary. Their children and grandchildren “made them a cake” much to the delight of those watching. What a wonderful legacy these two faithful servants of God are building!

God blessed us with fabulous weather all week, which just makes everything more enjoyable. Every day the lake was full of happy swimmers, blobbers, and boaters, while others were enjoying paintballing, riflery, archery, the climbing wall, carpet ball, ga-ga, etc. Most made banners under the guidance of Guy and Barbara Steele, who are faithfully serving for the twelfth summer of New England family camps with us. How grateful we are for them!

Our precious dog Baker celebrated her 15th birthday on August 11, and though she gave us quite a health scare that day and several following, she seems to have fully recovered and is happy to be staying at a cabin right next to Camp Berea for the first time ever.

There were many highlights during family camp 1, from the big finger blaster competition, square dance night, corn roast and night swim, to the dedication of Abby Habin Yardley and the baptism of Nate King. The banquet evening was the best ever, as person after person gave testimony to the amazing ways God was working in their lives, their marriages, and their families. It was a night of great rejoicing.

Paul won the one-on-one finger blaster duel, much to the delight of the male campers.

The Yardley family celebrates the dedication of Abigail Habin, just days after she turned one.

The baptism of Nate King was very meaningful.

The staff is all smiles as camp 1 comes to a close . . .

. . . and the family campers are as well.

Our 24-hour “recovery” period was really that, as we rested and recreated. The whole staff played in the lake, made a splash at Sculptured Rocks, enjoyed ice cream at Shacketts, had pizza while watching the Red Sox pull out a nail-biter against the Rangers, and hit a few yard sales Saturday morning before indulging in a sumptuous brunch a la Jim Martis. It was just the break we all needed.

Paul and Matthew Martis make chocolate chip cookies for the staff during our day off.

Christy Johnston makes a dramatic jump into the water at Sculptured Rocks.

Our new batch of campers arrived this past Saturday afternoon and that night, we did our “get acquainted” mixers for the last time this summer. These campers have also come with great expectations and our staff has stepped up to give them a “this is the first week of family camp” experience. We’re off to a great start—and we’re all committed to finishing well.

It’s amazing to reflect on the past 12 years of family camps here. The idea was so foreign when we introduced it at Grace Chapel, but that first year, back in 1997, 125 campers trusted us for the experience. Many of those from that first family camp have become as committed to the tradition as our CBS gang, and we’ve picked up dozens upon dozens of families over the years. We believe more than ever that the venue of family camp is one of the most effective in shaping and reinforcing family values and we are so grateful to be a part of this great work.

For now, I’ll sign off since day 3 of our last family camp begins in just a few hours. We are eager to see what God will do among us in the days ahead!

CBS Family Camps 4, 5, and 6!

Krista Hart filled in as a surrogate daughter on our daily hike up Scar Mountain.

As we sit on the tarmac at LAX awaiting our aircraft to take flight and return us to Boston, I’ll admit that my head is spinning. It’s very hard to believe that our seven-week stint at Campus by the Sea is over. I’ve described it to some as feeling as though we were at the top of the water slide seven weeks ago and just like that, found ourselves at the bottom. Though willing to attribute the sense of time moving faster and faster to age, I’m somewhat comforted (or discomforted?) by the younger set agreeing that time is moving at an alarming rate.

At any rate, the 2009 season of Campus by the Sea Family Camps is over and we are overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing ways God has lived among us throughout the summer.

Kari and Gabe and Lisa enjoyed being at camp for a few days together.

Family Camp 4 arrived the day we returned from our quick little trip up to Vancouver, Washington, to speak at the Coaches Time Out conference. David and Cherylyn Hegg served as the resource couple for this week and were predictably warm and engaging with the campers. David’s teaching from the Psalms was insightful and instructive. Paul and I love hanging with the Heggs; they are friends as well as partners in ministry. It was a great week of fruitful ministry.

Lisa left camp on Monday (the 13th of July) and flew directly to Boston to welcome Julie as she returned from Uganda. They had a happy reunion for about 36 hours before Julie flew to California and Lisa returned to grad school in Virginia with permission in hand to begin collecting data for her thesis. I then took the boat to the mainland and surprised Julie at LAX, who thought a dear family friend would be picking her up. Though impractical from a time and money point of view, it was priceless to have her all to myself for three hours prior to arriving at a camp full of friends wanting a part of her. Her six months in Uganda were so life-changing in many ways and it was a gift to begin to debrief with her. We were back at camp in time to dance the “Cotton-Eyed Joe” and have an ice cream sundae.

Very happy parents welcome Julie home from Uganda.

The other huge highlight of the week was having my dear friends, Patty Benes and Christy Keating, join us at camp for the week. We’ve been journeying through life with these women since 1995, when they were both in my Mom to Mom group at Grace Chapel, and we’ve probably talked about them coming to CBS all those years! No one was more surprised than me that they really came . . . and it was worth the wait. We had a marvelous time. Experiencing camp “anew” through the eyes of a newcomer only deepened our love for the place and we were so thankful for the opportunity to share it with them. They were very self-sufficient and took in everything they possibly could in the seven days they were with us. What a fun summer memory!

Christy Keating and Patty Benes broke away from Lexington to spend a week at CBS.

Family Camp 4 finished strong with a lot of great sharing at the Friday night banquet—which was true every Friday night all summer long. There were many holy moments as campers shared how God had touched them during the week and over the years at CBS. It’s so obvious to us that God continues to powerfully use this ministry and we truly feel so privileged to be a part of it.

David and Cherylyn Hegg were also thrilled to see Julie.

All too quickly (four days later, to be exact), Julie slipped out of camp and relocated to San Luis Obispo to tackle her online chemistry class. She was blessed to have a willing and known tutor there and has spent the past two weeks fulfilling the final prerequisites for the University of St. Augustines, where she’ll begin her doctor of physical therapy on September 3. We hated to see her go so quickly, but are so grateful for the Lord’s provision of just what she needed, from housing with our dear friends Jan & HA Northington and a car loan from her cousin Katie, to the necessary teaching brilliance in Peggy. As I write, she has taken her finals and is also returning to New England tonight. She’ll work with us at the two weeks of HIM Family Camps at Camp Berea in New Hampshire and then she and I will move her back to California, roadtripping east to west in her Toyota Corolla. :) We can’t wait.

Family Camp 5 arrived July 19 and brought another group of wonderful campers who were enthusiastically greeted by our energetic staff. Howard and Kathy Clark continued their fifteen-year tradition of teaching at family camp, and once again Howard delivered well-prepared, rich lessons from scripture. He is in a league of his own and we feel so blessed to sit under his teaching.

Howard and Kathy Clark join us for the banquet at the end of camp 5.

The third and final “staff-only” special hike happened in the middle of camp 5: the ninth annual trek to “Lone Tree.” The 9-mile round trip hike departs from the beach at Gallagher’s at 6 a.m. to take advantage of the early morning cool. We were blessed to have a marine-layer cloud cover which protected us all the way to the top of the ridge. An unprecedented twenty-four staff hiked, and besides experiencing great camaraderie with one another, we were all treated to seeing a huge herd of buffalo along the way.

The ninth annual “Lone Tree” hike was accomplished on Wednesday, July 22, with a record 24 staff hikers.

More staff fun happened Saturday night as the second annual Water Regatta provided many moments of hilarity for all. The water balloon volleyball toss, lead by Alton Green, was a ton of fun and doubly fun when Alton increased the number of water balloons being tossed by beach towels held by each team of two. The grand finale was an all-out water ballon fight and everyone either fired or was fired upon. The next competition was “Duck, Duck, Drip,” which was appropriately renamed “Duck, Duck, Drench,” since most participants received a cupful of water on their heads as they were chosen (think “Duck, Duck, Goose”). It was a blast and only a few suffered minor injuries. Kayak races without paddles and tube races with paddles were held at the waterfront, and after the laughter subsided and the games ended, Paul had the privilege of baptizing Sam, one of our summer staff. A delicious, barbecued salmon dinner at the beach followed, capping a great team-building, staff-bonding water regatta.

Alton Green is pursued by Heather Thiel in a competitive round of "Duck, Duck, Drip" as part of the annual Water Regatta.

Alton dives in behind me, much to my horror, but thankfully, missed.

We were all rather shocked to realize the next day that our last family camp was arriving. The staff did an incredible job of welcoming this last group as though they were the only group of the summer. We were so impressed all summer with the hearts and attitudes of service of the team. We were blessed with such a wonderful staff!

A highlight of each week was Alton Green and his crew as they performed to Spike Lee’s “Do You Want to Buy a Bunny?”

Brian, Heather, Abby and Lydia Dietz send their temporary nanny, Heather Early, back to Boston after a phenomenal summer.

Gary and Anne Gaddini, along with their four daughters, were with us for this last camp, and Gary’s teaching “knocked it out of the park.” He spoke with passion, conviction, and humility, and was very well received. We love partnering with Gary and Anne, and on a broader scale, we consider it a great privilege to be journeying through life with them.

Gary and Anne Gaddini pose with us prior to the final banquet of the 2009 family camp season.

Wrapping up a great summer is always bittersweet. It’s hard to say good-bye to a group you’ve spent seven weeks together with on an “overseas missions trip.” The community experience far surpasses what most will go home to. We celebrated each others’ gifts and talents at Saturday night’s “Coffee House” and then had an extended worship and sharing time Sunday morning, with a great word from Paul in between on Hebrews 12. I sensed that more than ever, this group is committed to continuing on the journey to the heart of God and are leaving camp determined to support one another, to find/make community where they are, and to grow in their personal relationship with the Lord. Please pray for them. Some go back to great situations; others to not-so-great.

Paul baptizes Michael Burns at the end of camp 6.

And so, another summer at CBS is history. Number 34. We don’t in any way take for granted the privilege of serving there and are especially grateful for the new camp director, Dave Noble and his wife, Kim, for affirming our working relationship. We expect they will become great friends as well.

Sunrise at the “Way of the Cross.”

Well, the plane has landed and we’re back in New England. After a few days getting things in order, we’ll head to Camp Berea for two weeks of family camp sponsored by H.I.M. Join us in praying that the two weeks at Camp Berea will be as full of the presence and grace of God as these last seven have been. Happy summer!

Halfway Point of CBS Family Camp

Paul leads devotions at the morning worship time.

And now, three weeks of Family Camp are history and we are holding on for dear life as the summer of 2009 progresses at lightning speed. I’m writing from the air as we fly to Portland, Oregon, to speak at a Coaches Time Out (CTO) conference, sponsored by Pro-Athletes Outreach. It seemed fairly innocuous when we said “yes” almost a year ago to this invitation, rationalizing that accepting one of the five invites extended to us from them this summer would “work.” After all, we’d depart after the banquet Friday night and we’d be back in time to welcome the campers on Sunday. I’ll confess, as much as we love working with PAO and believe in their work, leaving camp last night before the wrap-up this morning was really hard. We are trusting that God is in this and that, for reasons possibly only known to Him at this point, we’re supposed to be a part of this conference.

At the conclusion of the Coaches Time Out conference in Portland, Oregon, we pose with Norm and Bobbe Evans, directors of Pro Athletes Outreach.

The past two weeks have been unbelievably full of the goodness, presence, and power of God. There really aren’t adequate words to convey how grateful we are to be serving at Campus by the Sea for the 34th consecutive summer (minus the summer of ’91 when we were on sabbatical.) We love the place, the people, and the program. Our passion for all of it is greater than ever.

We are especially grateful that all of our family camps are sold out this summer. We see that as a hand-of-God affirmation the He is with us. With the economy as it is, no one would’ve been surprised if attendance had dropped. We feel blessed.

Staff dive into the remnants of the ice cream social Wednesday night; (left to right) Lisa Friesen, John Thiel, David Hathaway, Nathan Smith, Alton Green, Gabe and Kari Garcia, and Scott Johnston (in front).

Another staff privilege: the loop hike by full moon happened July 7 in perfect conditions. Twenty-five intrepid staff made the 4.5 mile hike.

Each week of family camp is uniquely wonderful. The tenor of camp is influenced largely by the speaker and having Ray and Carol Johnston speak during week #2 infused the camp with a ton of energy and verve. We loved having all six Johnstons with us for the week, as it is very validating for the campers to see the consistency between the talk and walk of the speaker’s family. Ray’s messages were, as always, inspiring and challenging. We feel so fortunate personally to “feast” on great teaching all summer, which definitely “fills our stores” for the rest of the year when we’re speaking more than we’re listening.

Ray and Carol Johnston join us for the banquet at the closing night of family camp.

It was a blast to hang out with Ray and Carol and reflect on the over twenty years we’ve partnered together in ministry and journeyed through life as friends.

Every week is special because the boat brings in 200 wonderful campers, many of whom have become dear friends over the years. Family Camp #2 was extra special for us because my sister, Melissa, and her son Corey’s family were campers. Corey and Claire have expanded their family since last summer, so we were very happy to meet Jael, our great-niece. It was great having them in camp.

We loved having my sister Melissa's family with us for Family Camp #2.

This week was also especially poignant and meaningful as we had several large extended family groups, which is more and more common as the years progress. The children at camp from the 70’s and 80’s are now parents and returning to camp with three generations. The Stenzel-Fischinger-Shaffer clan attended camp 2, some continuing a long tradition of family camps at CBS, and some for the first time. They gathered to honor Mark Fischinger, the now deceased husband of Lisa and father of Ben, Luke, and Joel. Mark loved CBS more than any other place on earth, and when his body succumbed to the long-term effects of radiation given him as a 20-year-old to eradicate cancer, the family carried out his wishes to have his memorial service at CBS over Thanksgiving weekend ‘08.

The reality of his death hit us when his family disembarked without him this summer. I immediately flashed back to last summer, and I thought of his emaciated, feeding-tube-fed body making its way around camp. He had endured surgery just weeks before to remove a tumor from the area around his ear. He wouldn’t hear of not being at camp with his family, in spite of the fact that his very weakened body would’ve probably preferred staying in the comfort of his own home and bed.

Each time I spoke with Mark during that week, he sported a huge grin and affirmed that he was so thankful to be at camp. No whining, no complaining, no “feel sorry for me”, no “I’m glad to be here, but I’m miserable.” Just gratitude.

That is how I will always remember Mark Fischinger. Just two months later, he left this earthly life so prematurely as a young forty-something-year-old with three kids still in the nest, and yet his impact is greater than many who will outlive him. His legacy will live on, because he chose to cultivate and model gratitude rather than bitterness. Mark was appropriately honored at Family Camp #2’s closing banquet as many gave tribute to his life, and though Mark’s days at CBS are over, his presence will be felt as his family continues the tradition of annually sojourning at his favorite place on earth.

The 4th of July falls on a Saturday on average just once every 7 years, and when it does, it affords the CBS staff an opportunity to celebrate it as most Americans do–with a barbeque and fireworks. Greg and Wendy Jones spearheaded a gala which included chartering the “Blanche W” (a fabulous antique wooden open vessel operated by the Santa Catalina Island Company) for a fireworks and flying fish tour. In perfect conditions, with clear skies and an almost full moon, our very enthusiastic staff boarded her at 8:30 p.m. (after feasting on a beachfront bbq which included corn on the cob), watched a spectacular pyrotechnic show over Avalon harbor, and enjoyed a coastal cruise down to Seal Rocks in search of rather elusive flying fish. It was a great and very special way to celebrate the 4th.

The 2009 Program Staff Team - a great group of people!

Family Camp #3 arrived the next day, and we had a speaker we had never heard speak before. Rather unusual for us, but we had great confidence that David Tebay would fit right in with the caliber of speaker we are committed to having at CBS. Though we hadn’t heard David speak, we have known him since he was a teenager, and his parents, John and Grace Tebay, have been our primary mentors in life since we got married. John has a long history of speaking at CBS since the early 70’s and they assured us that David would not disappoint. And they were so right. Teaching from the book of Nehemiah, David opened God’s Word to us each day with wisdom and practical application. His teaching was humble, sincere, gracious, and “in your face” (which means that he didn’t shy away from being politically incorrect by taking unpopular stands that few in the pulpit take publicly.) God used him powerfully.

God also used the generational legacy of the Tebay family to give hope to the many first generation Christian families in camp. With three generations of the Tebays in camp, their family reflected the faithfulness and graciousness of God to the generations who sincerely seek Him. That was such a great encouragement to so many, and especially to us personally.

Paul, Lisa, and I stand on the pier at CBS with John and Grace Tebay (far right) and an assortment of Tebay progeny.

The week was full of so much goodness. Barbara Steele flew in from Boston to spend the week with us (and to wrap up details for our two weeks of Family Camp in New Hampshire in August) and we always love having Barbara at CBS. She is always so gracious and “easy” to have, and this year was extra special because her adopted family, Brian and Heather Dietz and Abby and Lydia, are spending their first summer at CBS. Abby temporarily forgot about everyone else she loves at camp once Aunt Barb arrived. :)

We're loving having Brian, Heather, Abby and Lydia Dietz with us at camp this summer.

Another bonus of the week was having Gabe and Kari arrive Wednesday afternoon for their annual trek to camp. How we love having our kids with us anywhere, but especially at CBS since it’s such a significant part of our family history. Beside catching up with the fam and getting some much needed R & R, they are checking in with their two BOSS interns, Alton Green and Taylor Balian, who are serving at CBS this summer. Gabe and Kari are batting a thousand on their recruitment for CBS staff, and we are so thankful for their wisdom, discernment, and investment in these phenomenal staff members.

Kari and Gabe with their interns, Taylor Balian and Alton Green (separated by Christy Johnston), and sister Lisa.

We’ve continued to delight in unexpectedly having Lisa with us for this two-week period. She has just gotten word that her thesis proposal has been approved, so she heads back to Harrisonburg this week to begin collecting data. We’ll hate to see her go, but are focusing on being very grateful for the time we’ve had her with us.

After five wonderful days with Barbara Steele, we send her off to return to Massachusetts.

She will actually fly to Virginia via Massachusetts in order to meet Julie this Monday night, the 13th, who is returning from Mbale, Uganda. It’s hard to believe that 5.5 months have passed since we launched her into an unknown world. The unknown has become known, and she leaves her heart in Mbale as she returns to the states. Pray for her re-entry and for her as she immerses herself in an online organic chemistry class for the next two weeks. She’ll be in San Luis Obispo as she completes the class, since her science tutor is there. She hopes to serve with us at the two New Hampshire family camps before moving to San Marcos, CA, where she’ll spend the next 30 months working toward her Doctor of Physical Therapy degree from the University of St. Augustine.

Well, it’s now Sunday afternoon, and we’re on the boat back to Campus by the Sea. The CTO conference was an absolute delight. We loved partnering with Norm and Bobbe Evans, directors of PAO, and their team. The conferees were so receptive and many post-session conversations affirmed that God was at work through our speaking. It was confirming that God was in the “yes” months ago and that He was with us.

We should arrive in camp about an hour before Family Camp #4 arrives. We are so thankful that everything has gone so smoothly on this trip, and are especially grateful to Bob Balian for getting us to LAX late Friday night, and to Gene and Teri Engle for getting us back to the Long Beach terminal today (and having an In-N-Out Burger lunch for us). We are so blessed!!

As we look forward to the remaining three CBS family camps, we expect they will go as quickly as have the first three. It’s greatly comforting to know that God is faster than lightning speed and that He’ll go before us, making a way to accomplish His purposes in and through us. Whew!