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Letters to My Daughters
A Dad's thoughts on a most important decision — Marriage

Dr. Paul A. Friesen
Endorsements •• Reactions •• Responses

"Letters to My Daughters" by Dr. Paul A. Friesen
ISBN-13 978-0-9789931-0-8
ISBN 0-9789931-0-1

This book has something for everyone! It offers tremendous wisdom for teens and collegiates [or anyone for that matter] to consider before they choose a spouse. It is also a wonderful book for men who want to be better fathers. And it reveals, perhaps without intending to, what God desires a family to really be. I think Friesen carries forward the great tradition of the renowned author, Walter Trobisch. Letters to My Daughters is full of practical wisdom, touching stories, humor, and a refreshing look at what godly living is all about.
—Rebecca Manley Pippert, author of Out of the Salt Shaker
Most fathers I know long to be better dads to their daughters. Somewhere along the way, these little girls became women. Our "father" instincts become strong and we long for them to be loved, protected, nurtured by a fine young man who will care for them the way we think they deserve. What do we tell them? How do we love them? How do we love them yet let them go? How to we honor Christ in the process? Paul will give you insights, ideas, and helps so you can encourage your daughter toward a good and godly man.
—Dr. Michael Easley, President, Moody Bible Institute
Paul Friesen wrote wonderful words of counsel to his daughters that really all of us desire to say to our daughters, as well. This book is filled with wisdom, God-honoring insight and life-changing guidance. It is a treasure of advice for you to hand to your daughter. I hope every father reads this book and then passes on to the next generation.
—Jim Burns Ph.D., President, HomeWord
From laughter to tears, Paul weaves God's truth throughout this starkly honest collection of letters. A must read for anyone looking into making the "second most important decision in life." In a loving way Paul shows us how to set the bar high for our daughters. Wisdom beyond years is contained in this timeless book.
—Grant and Emily Williams, offensive linesman for the Saint Louis Rams, parents of three daughters
I love how each letter addresses the lies that are so prevalent in our culture in regards to sex and dating. They were an amazing resource to me as I pursued my wife-to-be with the desire to have a Christ-centered relationship. Though written to girls, it gave me a clear picture of who I needed to be as a man in the relationship so that I was a worthy suitor who would fulfill my God-given responsibilities as a leader who could love the way Christ called me to love.
—Brian Dietz, Junior High Youth Pastor, Grace Chapel, Lexington, Massachusetts
These letters have meant so much to me, as my husband, Paul, can tell you by the number of times he's had to recopy them for me. I know I would cherish the book as a unique tool to navigate the waters of parenting a coming-of-age daughter or son. I so appreciate Paul Friesen's wisdom, especially about the female's responsibility to be careful about the type of lures she uses and where she fishes.
—Kate Wylie, wife of Paul Wylie, olympic champion ice skater
I have actually used them in family devotionals, around the dinner table and as forwarded advice to friends. Many of them speak to issues that parents want children to know and think about, but need to be reinforced by yet another voice. Even though they are written to older daughters, my younger crew ages 8-13 benefit by bringing up moral issues that stimulate discussion for teaching and reinforcement that should and can begin at any age. These letters are inspiring tools to guide children and influence parents both at the same time. The personalized letters from a father to his daughters is written with compassion and a heartfelt voice. The imparted wisdom is received differently than by reading chapters on parenting which read like an operator's manual written by a detached and distant authority.
The benefits are two-fold: Parents gain insights and direction on a variety of topics, while being inspired in the art of communication and letter writing; encouraging a loving legacy to leave behind. Similarly, the benefits for kids are two-fold. Kids hear the same values reinforced by another parent, which many times is received differently from someone other than "Dad". At the same time, kids gain insights into the heart of a loving parent as Paul relays biblical truths in a way that lets kids see and understand the caring motives of a committed Dad.
—Melanie Bilazarian, mother of five

What people are saying ...
"A good friend gave me a copy of Paul Friesen's book "Letters to my Daughters" which I read and appreciated as a Christian father of a 19-year-old daughter, who is growing in her faith. I shared the book with my daughter before she left for college. At the time, she was dating an unbelieving boyfriend and showed little interest in the book. She said she didn't think she would need it, although she agreed to take a copy to college with her.

  My daughter e-mailed me recently to share that she is now leading a discussion group of college age girls who are going through Paul's book and getting a lot out of it. She asked me to send more copies, which I did. She also shared that she had broken off the relationship with the unbelieving boyfriend. I am very thankful!
I was so happy to get a copy of “Letters to My Daughters.” I have been reading it every night at bedtime. I can't tell you how much I love the book. It is truly love letters to his daughters. I laughed and cried at times reading the book. He is so funny. I learned few new terms from the book which made me laugh. I love his honesty. I wanted to see what a loving father was like and what he would say to his daughters. Like so many daughters out there, I didn't grow up knowing or experiencing the warmth of a father's love. I have a father but he wasn't a very loving or a good father when I was growing up. So reading the book brought a lot of tears. I didn't read the book to compare my dad but to hopefully see what a father's love is like and to able to see God's love.
—Reader from Oregon

   "As the mother of three sons, dare I say "Letters to my Daughters" could also be titled "Letters to my Sons!" This book, in a very real way, describes the godly characteristics we all aspire to develop in our children to equip them for successful marriages. What a resource! Valuable! A touchdown - with a two point conversion!!

—Betsy Hasselbeck Mother to Matt, Tim and Nathaniel Hasselbeck

   One woman wrote: "I wanted to share with you what a profound effect your book has had on my life. After reading the first 17 letters, I was greatly saddened to find that I had made all 17 mistakes in choosing whom I had married. After two failed marriages, I had resigned myself to a life of singleness. I had convinced myself that my ‘man-picker’ was broken. I have been single for 6 years and have not dated because I was certain that I would fail again.

   As I continued to read the next 34 letters, I learned so much about this second most important decision in my life. It was with great joy that I realized I was now equipped with guidelines for considering a future mate. I found that I did not have a defective or broken ‘man- picker’ but that I did not have any ‘man-picker’ in place in my life. I am no longer afraid to date and have opened myself up to the possibility of marriage again. If fact, since returning home from camp this summer, I have been on my first date in six years. I am now excited as I am seeking God’s desire for my future."

   This book is not only for young girls who are making this important decision early in their lives, but for all single women who have never been married, are divorced or widowed and now have a new chance at choosing a spouse.

—Maria Poisall

   "I gave a copy of your book to the 22-year-old daughter of a friend of mine. The family is all Christians, yet the daughter is dating a non-Christian. I gave her my copy of your book 4 days before her boyfriend was scheduled to visit for a week. I shared what a profound effect the book had on my life and she could clearly see my excitement. My friend called to tell me that her daughter came to her and told her that after reading the first six letters, she knew that she was dating the wrong person. And the fact that he was not a Christian was a ‘deal-breaker.’"

Although these letters came into my life after my children were grown, they have helped me to communicate more effectively with all of my children as adults. They give me the tools that I need to articulate my thoughts in a non-threatening way. I now have the opportunity to help my grandchildren set a vision for their lives that they will be able to embrace. Your letters have truly been an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing your letters with all of us.
—Charlotte Dean
I had a chance to read one of your letters while the twins are sleeping. You are an outstanding dad. I will rely on your letters to help Kevin and I give this advice to our three girls someday. I am already praying that they will follow the Lord and walk in the truth. I also pray for their sexual purity. I am so thankful that you have shared these letters with us. What a blessing! Also when the time is right and my girls get older I will let them read the letters. Thank you very much for the oustanding advice!!!
—Kim Gannon
" 'Letters to My Daughters' was a great gift to us! I found the letters to be very inspiring. I wish every Christian unmarried woman in the U.S.A. could read this book! One hallmark of your ministry is that you don't shrink from giving the whole counsel of God. May He continue to make you and Home Improvement Ministries a great blessing as you continue your excellent work."
—Reader from Pennsylvania
'Letters to My Daughters' is one of the most meaningful books I have read in a very long time. As I progressed letter by letter I found myself thinking "I want to mark this page/thought to come back later for a re-read." As I finished the last letter this morning I realized I had very close to 52 bookmarked pages for future review! If only my messages to my daughters could be as consistently powerful! You, again, have set a wonderful example for we parents still in the earlier stage struggles.
I have already read Letters to My Daughters and, well, let's just say I was never trained or taught to even consider such important matters. I pray it changes me as a man and a parent, as well as my four sons and daughter, and the lives they'll meet, lead, and impact forever! It will become a valuable resource for our family.
—Rhode Island Dad

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Letters to My Daughters:

A dad shares his heart and wisdom with his three daughters regarding a life-changing decision: marriage. Through 52 personal letters to Kari, Lisa, and Julie. Paul Friesen pens his insights on the importance of convictions, character, considerations, and chemistry as they relate to relationships.

About the author:

Dr. Paul A. Friesen is the founder of Home Improvement Ministries. He and his wife of 30 years, Virginia, have three terrific daughters and an awesome dog, Baker. In addition to being a great dad, Paul is famous for his chocolate chip cookies, which have been served around the world.

Published by Home Improvement Ministries, Bedford, MA

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